✨Primordial Soup✨

Bossy bottoms save me

[guy who has been holding an insane amount of tension in his body for a week straight] bro why do I feel so awful

Ochrophytes stole my oyster harvest. Can't have shit in Cornwall 😤

digital selfharm is real. do NOT check up on that ex-partner/ex-friend. do NOT reread those old messages/conversations that you know will hurt your feelings all over again or that will otherwise make you feel like shit. do NOT block evade to see if you’re being talked about. inhale. exhale. let it pass and you’ll be better for it.

imagine being in the wilderness in 1542 and seeing this shit. i’d believe in will-o-the-wisps too

you ignore the fact the oohhh was in the tune to ave maria

a ‘hot minute’ can be both a very short period of time, and a very long one. however, a hot minute in the past (“It's been a hot minute since I've seen you!”) is most often a long duration, while a hot minute in the future (“I'll be with you in a hot minute!”) is most often a short duration. this suggests some very strange things about the temperature of time.

reblog to give both of us bigger tits

mutuals have this incredible power to curse you with liking kinks you previously would never engage with even with a gun to your head