Its all in my head.

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Argue the word fagit, be nor deprive where I learned the origins of the word. Some would call thos then a sickness or a disease. What would it be. I can't help but speak of where I have been or what I have came across today or this weekend for that matter. I would have started my circle right here. Not just for the fact it's right here and I hate walking but for the simple fact I've seen y'all round and know if enough to know atleast it's for some use. There for nothing in which I've done was for any use at all. I've wasted all for those who where of no point and and embarrassed myself only because I'm sing ok ng the same sad song. It's not hard to admit interest in oral sex with men or women it's not hard to admit a want for promiscuity but this new fangle obsession comes for strictly blunt impatient. I just sat for hours with one who had no devine meaning other than to see how long o would sit as well. Now I'm ending my entire venture here with those with no empathy (because of good reason) towards my past transgressions. I'm going to step back with family with more disappointment than ever because of my lack responsibility or sense of obligations . The only real thing to show for it is a half empty pipe and to then what sit here and be within consideration of no more than what is obvious after this weekend no more than being a pervert ed addict. You know when I first spoke in such duologue it was such indeecncy it in fact startled me. I called myself cleaning up and looking at people's actual tribulations as to what I should be considering as I walk through these years. Then on top of that I figure with sophistication and proper edict I could excuse the immoral admirations I sought forth. Long story short I then became lost with in words and paper trying to excuse myself or speak around things with tarnishing my own integrity. At last I find my self walking these streets. In a circle. Every day in and day out in the square of norther to Dunlap and occasionally stepping forther only when events in advoidinly spontaneously place me forth than I would care to be. I called myself of a new understanding for the simple fact of what I had and obtain last year, but I was quickly reminded that when effortless endeavours ar futile amongst what is seen to be inferior. I would like to say I'm am place out here amongst new. I'm not. I wanna say I have great reason or exemption but I do not. And I certainly can say that I still harbor frustrating to the outside criticism that poses more at time as deterence rather than anything constructive. So earlier blessed with hospitality and good instruction on an aqauintence. I found myself with vodka beer and and some damn good instruments of Parliament. Unfortunately there was no real enjoyment of such luxury for the simple fact then not only am I herd. It is seen other methods of to the same determination. Because of my own consciousness of personal self doubt I did not allow my self to enjoy and quickly offered it away of not wasted it. What once I would equal the value of my life to be worth to that point in time I wasted as well throw away and forth really nothing here I am still out amongst the elements. Directionaless using my own Demise as surprise to whom have know liability or position to be held accountable.

Finally I place myself out laying a in ever growing burden of a weight on thought who at once may have saw small approval of my occurrence, only for the welcome to be shortly burned away like an u smoked cigarette. This is my understanding of my situation this far with no real conclusive purpose. I can only ride the rail end of the loss of my apartment for so long before yes I am no more than abuse the hand lent by family while horrifically disrespecting them in the most up right offense. So to show what I learned I what then look at the next and extend inventation to my empire of dirt. Do I speak as if I'm god sent to all any or one whom strays long enough to enjoy their discreet personal time premisculessly. Step inside face my loss not on in time face but resources and move forward to the next temptation or opportunity to walk the the street, or further question why so many took/ take interest in the obstruction and asstentence I'm is what I can consider no more than a poor choice in time management and socializing, social net working. It's not making a scene but preventing the scene that is made withon the after math. Which is point less because the suggestive inevitable conclusion I ignore in order to find what depic what I believe I'm as everyone else entitled to chose on my own.

So with all in relatively in new correlation to concept. What do I do here.

You know how hard it was to get up out of here. Not to mention 140 characters. All this shit dose matter I saved the screen videos the recordings the text the reciets everything and all I don't give a fuck about all puf that because what it look like sitting here and motha fuck walk up acting like anything other than the script put of a fucking f