Maddy

I am sorry someone loved you badly, and that they made you feel like you take up more space than you deserve. I am sorry they abandoned you when you need them the most and it has made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts.

Real love is always chaotic. You lose control; you lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret.

I watched “To The Bone” with my boyfriend who has been around for 90% of my ED and has been there for all of my recovery journey and it made him realize how he should address helping me. I loved this movie because it really showed how difficult having anorexia really is for me and many others. I know people disagree and say that this movie is controvesial and not a good representation of what its “really” like for someone, but no eating disorder sufferers are alike. People develop their EDs for their own personal struggles in life and it would be absolutely impossible for a few characters to portray everyone’s personal experience in an hour and 43 minute film. I think that it is so so SO important that the media is starting to bring up the topic of eating disorders because there are so many suffering and undiagnosed people in the world, who are left to struggle because they aren’t “bad enough” or their family’s don’t notice the signs of someone with an ED and won’t until they are as thin and sick as the main character of the film.

I love this feeling inside of me.