blinded by the light

my boyfriend and i were childhood friends who lost touch in high school because he was the captain of the football team and i ate lunch with my english teacher everyday and we reconnected as adults and i never really liked rom-coms which is funny because i think i lived one

i saw a post of someone asking what it was like explaining dan and phil pre-hard launch and really i think it was like introducing your friend to your aunt who wears a lot of cargo pants and her roommate who teaches holistic yoga and you're like "this is aunt cindy and aunt pam" and they're like "oh they're sisters?" and youre like "no" and they're like "so one is from your dad's side and one is from your mom's side?" and you're like "no" and finally they're like "so they're a couple?" and you're like "no" and they're like "so you just call pam your aunt in the way people call close family friends their aunt" and you're like "well no it's more than that" and they're like "so what are they?" and you're like "they're aunt cindy and aunt pam" and then that conversation went on for decades

if a genie gave me one wish it would be to have my childhood webkinz account back

can't take my boyfriend anywhere, he bought an accordion in the cracker barrel gift shop

Survivor needs to stop trying to get bigger. I think it actually needs to be stripped back and returned to a laissez-faire approach that emphasizes players' strategies and relationships over increasingly convoluted twists and advantages and celebrity cameos. There's a growing soullessness to it that's becoming harder to ignore.

does bruce springsteen know i named my tomodachi life island after him

old era survivor is a kind of dead wife. to me.

How can I vote Rizo off myself

I love when people don't want to lie when they applied to be on The Lying Game

I asked my boyfriend the moment he knew he liked me and he said, "When I showed you Computer Blue by Prince and when the song ended you immediately went, 'I didn't like that 😐'"

patrick bateman's worst crime was, perhaps, calling bruce springsteen overrated