Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

shut up they did not find another goddamn king under another goddamn car park

all that and i havent killed myself yet i must really love this stupid fucking life

sports are so comforting to me. always there. someone to blame my problems on.

I could never wear any of those dumb “I hope both teams have fun” shirts because no I hope my team wins by 30 and the other team explodes on the field

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

[Text ID: I want to do it too, take in all the sweet life caught inside this world. End ID]

sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed