perfi

"neverland"

aahaha do u ever think ab it. liike ouggg

Maul - Shadow Lord || icons #3

She slammed her fist on the table. “I don’t care who wants to go. I care who’s most qualified! Dr. Grace, I’m sorry, but you are going on that mission. I know you’re afraid. I know you don’t want to die. But you’re going.” - Page 428 - I’m not some intrepid explorer who nobly sacrificed his life to save Earth. I’m a terrified man who had to be literally dragged kicking and screaming onto the mission. I’m a coward. - Page 431 - “Stop,” I say. Whenever I think about my impending death, I think about Rocky instead. He must have a sense of hopelessness right now. I’m coming, buddy. - Page 496

I still don't have my full "how does Devon actually see Rylee" breakdown ready and really this should just be the conclusion of it but—I am driven to talk about this moment right here after the jump to hyperspace even though most of this post should be my conclusion to that breakdown.

Because like. You have Devon breaking down in grief and impotent rage at everything that just happened, and then she turns around and notices Rylee sobbing in the corner. And—you know what's the expected thing to happen here. Devon will see Rylee is upset, and push aside her own grief and pain to comfort him in his that is parallel to hers but (with no offense to Rylee, who is having the worst day of his whole entire life) ultimately so much less than the loss she just suffered (Daki was not just her mentor he was the only remaining member of her culture that she had left!) Because that's how that goes. Because that's what girls are supposed to do for boys.

(Picture unrelated.)

So when that moment happened I felt myself instinctively brace against what was bout to happen: her expression would soften and her rage would dissipate and she'd go over to reassure him and there'd be a moment of hope that there she's not on the dark path for good because she's being selfless for the boy who has far less narrative importance than her! That's so the expected thing to happen that I've seen plenty of people trick themselves into thinking it did.

It didn't, though.

You see Devon look at him for a moment. Then the realization hits her: Brander didn't make it. And—that was Daki's last command to her, the last conversation they ever had, he told her to go ahead because the Lawsons needed her help and she resisted because she knew HE needed her help and she cares far more about keeping him alive than the civvies (you'll note that pattern, of Daki telling Devon to go ahead and protect the Lawsons mid-battle and her resisting but ultimately complying despite her instincts happened no less than three times this season—important number) but she did it anyway and Daki died and she didn't even succeed in protecting the civvies she failed as a Jedi she failed in everything she wanted and—

She looks down. She gets angrier. She turns her rage inwards. She does not go over to comfort Rylee; she does not interact with him at all. Standing in very stark contrast to the moment a few episodes earlier, she makes this moment about herself—and the music ends the shot on an ominous stinger to underline that this is not a moment of hope that there's Still Good In Her™.

And this is...really emblematic of how cathartic Devon is for me as a character. To which people will gasp at me: but you're saying she's not being a good girl! She's not doing what's expected of her as an animated girl protagonist! She might even become a bad role model! And yes, that's the catharsis. This is a story about her making the wrong decisions and becoming her worst self but the horror of that and the catharsis of that come in equal measure. Because sometimes stories are about bad things happening, as Star Wars knows all too well. Because Devon's story is about what it would be like if the narrative treated a teenage girl's anger at how the world has mistreated her as though it was The Rage of Achilles™.