Takesomesamples

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

god those were lawless times. 

i love men

big fan of media thats too homopobic to admit gay people exist yet nontheless operates with a homoerotic subtext so insane that none of the characters’ motivations make sense unless they carnally desire each other

kneeling down beside my bed and folding my hands and closing my eyes: dear god please let me have some gay sex soon and also maybe let me win the lottery so i never have to get a job again. okay goodbye i mean amen

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

let's hear it for sodomy!

“you have mental illness” actually i don’t, those are just unfortunate side effects from using the powers from my amulet to often. such power deranges a man.