Kim had already turned around to leave the room, but the question made him halt. “Use that as inspiration then,” the words had a cruel edge to them like he was sharpening them for deadly deeds. “Or create the illusion of someone you want to address in your mind.” But they dulled just as fast again. They should try to find some common ground to exist in each other’s vicinity. After all, they were part of the same family now. And no matter how much Kim wished, he knew it was too much to hope they could pick up the shards of their broken hearts. So mercilessly hurled to the ground by him. He wanted to find a way to mend them. Put them together by golden seams, but that would require forgiveness. Forgiveness, he was sure he didn’t deserve even if offered.
“Inspiration can be found in the strangest of places if we let it in. But I guess it depends on what you want to achieve.” It was easier to fall back into the role of mentor. Maybe it was what they could be now. Almost strangers, brought together by past machination beyond their power and held together by this one common interest.
And Kim knew he should be leaving. Return to his isolation. Think about the conversation he had with his father, but Porchay’s proposition was too tempting. Too close to what he longed for. So, he took another step inside and closed the door softly behind him. He leaned against it, hand in his pockets again. It felt wrong to invade Porchay’s space further after he had monopolized so much before. “I’m honored you prefer my company over that of my brother’s bodyguards. They’re idiots!” The ghost of a smile reached his lips. “If I stay, will I get to see more than the back of your head?”
an illusion. those words felt like the punchline to a especially cruel joke when chay repeated them back in his head, his lips now fully set into a deep frown. “ that’s easier said than done. ” not quite a response, but instead more like he was talking to the wall before him. he hated how easy it seemed for kim to switch up his behavior, his mind jumping through metaphorical hoops in attempt to figure out his next angle. “ i don’t have any particular goals. ” a lie - his goal was to respond to the song that kim had sent him, but he still hadn’t quite found the words. truthfully, he wasn’t even sure if he ever would.
when he heard the door shut, he initially thought that kim had taken his leave as he usually did, but his voice would fill the room again a moment later. “ they’re not so bad. most of them just treat me like i’m helpless or something. ” he mumbled in response. chay still hadn’t grown accustom to the way the bodyguards and other staff waited on the members of this family hand and foot. if he was honest, he hated every single second of it. he would never complain, though. he crumpled up the piece of paper in his hands, tossing it into the trash beside his desk. “ that depends, ” a shrug danced across his shoulders, “ do you want to see more than the back of my head? ” he queried, a hint of genuine curiosity in his tone as he glanced over his shoulder in the other’s direction. he wanted him to say yes, but his hopes were never high when it came to kim.