Popsicle.Website

Macho Man Dick Tandy versus Sickly Bob Bobbert, the 1987 wrestling match heard round the world. This is where bird flu started.

Panda in captivity.

Clandestine operations are everywhere. They are all around. Quick! There's one happening behind you right now! No, you missed it. Now you're dead. #snugglefresh

Uh oh.  My beer is empty.  

My best friend, Wally. He's always smiling like that.

self

#cinderellastory

Uncle Carl, NOOOOOOOO!!!

My coffee drank itself.  It knew what would happen.  And it did it anyway.

My cousin Lewie ate a whole lot of paint chips as a kid.  Don't worry.  He's fine.  

This map of the U.S. was designed by birds. BIRDS ARE ADMINISTRATING OUR SCHOOLS, WITH THEIR HOLLOW BONES AND THEIR SKEWED VISION OF DEMOCRACY! #vigilance

Some days, I just can't even, you guys. #canteven

My Accounting test was super hard. I tried to find net income by taking revenue minus pan, but I think my math was off; I wound up with a net loss of taste buds. Seems wrong. Also, do flames have a normal balance of debit or credit? All I know is, I credited one of my eyebrows. And debited my pants. B-

This is Antonio. His favorite color is potato.

This optoelectronics has already enhanced your personal life.

FOUND: One partially eaten piece of dry toast. LOCATION: Chicago Hilton Hotel lobby chair arm. DESCRIPTION: Dry. Toasty. Partially eaten. Toast-colored. LEVEL OF DISCOMFORT CAUSED BY DISCOVERY: Platinum. REWARD STATUS: Will return to owner for $11 reward given in cash or equivalent value in Big League Chew.

Holding open auditions for a hippo parade. Tomorrow, 3am, street corner near my house. Hippos only. No fatties.