men are so nice to look at but then they start talking and it’s like why lord 😔

please raise your children to wash their hands after they use the restroom I’ve watched too many men walk straight out of the bathroom from the stall without a second thought and it’s keeping me up at night

the backs of cereal boxes for kids are like, “hey, rockstar, can you finish this word jumble and solve the maze?? you saved a marshmallow’s life! have an awesome day!!” and the ones for adults are like, “download this app so you can keep track of how fast your heart is dying. our brown flakes fill you up so you won’t be tempted by foods you actually enjoy. halved strawberry and loose blueberries strewn across a wooden table next to car keys!!”