the lesbian fox news warned you about

Ok I think this might be funnier with context actually. This is a review for a strip club in Toronto.

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

we used to watch netflix on the wii

Your honor my client pleads oopsie daisy

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

Not even at stoplights!!! I know it’s so so tempting to just glance at your phone when you’re stopped, but there’s actually something called “distraction hangover” where even once you put your phone down, your brain is still processing the interaction and isn’t fully paying attention to the road for up to 30 seconds afterwards. So it’s still really dangerous even if you’re stopped when you look at your phone. If you need to check something on your phone, pull over.

this especially applies to people with adhd. you know that symptom you may have heard of called “difficulty transitioning between tasks”? you don’t want piloting a ton or two of potential death to be the task you can’t mentally switch back to.

I think it's cute when depictions of our solar system include earth's moon. Like yeah sure the moon's invited. We just like her

Like simplified models that don't have Literally Everything just the planets. And our moon #OurMoon

THE CEASEFIRE DOES NOT INCLUDE LEBANON. ISRAEL PLANS TO CONTINUE BOMBING THEM. PLEASE DONATE WHATEVER YOU CAN SPARE TO SUPPORT THEM.