a gardevoir owned by someone who should have one

please be niceys. this is mostly a vent blog

they talk so much shit about wanting to kill us but many have not met a single one irl and would be too scared to even call her a slur

like i understand that i may have some underlying racial biases that i am working hard to correct. i try every day to correct my behavior and other's behavior and make the world a safer place for people of color, especially Black people. i support my friends online and in person, financially, socially, i sacrifice my time and effort to try and help and protect others. i try my hardest to live as a charitable person especially to those in need.

"so i can never criticize anyone ever?! what about if they're racist?! i bet you're racist!!"

what?

"yeah, thats proof that you're racist, because you're defending racists!"

this post had nothing to do with r-

like, i would never deny that there are infact some white trans women who are racist.

when i was 17, i posted a selfie on a lesbian subreddit. this place was supposedly trans friendly, and allowed selfies from everyone.

i immediately got a comment telling me to kill myself.

i reported it, told the mods. they didn't do anything to stop it. all they said to do was to block that person

unbeknownst to me, blocking on reddit doesn't prevent that person from seeing your posts or interacting with you. it just prevents YOU from SEEING THEM

that person who originally told me to kill myself had spent the past 48 hours spamming my post with hateful transphobic and antisemitic bullshit. i only. found out because someone made a comment that was half a compliment but mostly complaining about the other commenter that i couldn't see.

mods eventually removed my post for "controversy".

i post about this on my very small at the time tumblr blog. somehow they find out about this and stalk me there, too. then to my twitter, where its the most prevalent.

multiple of my accounts get deleted. every time my account is termed, my friends assume im gone for good and perhaps dead until i remake. my girlfriend at the time is the only one of my main friend group to know im even still alive.

i keep expressing my concerns about this. about how this one person, across multiple accounts, has stalked me and sent me rape threats.

these accusations are denied because im banned or posts are deleted before i can get screenshots.

im called "the boy who cried rape"

when i was actually raped at 18 just a few months later, that too was denied

i eventually find out about a kiwifarms thread through my girlfriend. she had been receiving hate for being associated with me, and while she at first expressed sympathy after she received a fraction of the hate i had gotten, she eventually drifted away from me.

i dont even talk about my own rape or assault any more. it happened so many times that it means nothing to me. i dont think ive ever had consentual sex in my life. if i talk about it, who would even believe me.

im 24 now. i have remade accounts and avoided hate for the most part. but that thread still exists, seven years later.

"lying about rape" has telephoned into "is a rapist [him]self, is a child abuser, is racist, is a pedophile, is [insert any horrible thing you can think of]"

my unforgivable crime: i posted a selfie at 17. because i wanted to feel cute after recently coming out as trans.

this is why i dont ever believe callout posts. because it fucking happened to me.

nevermind that i was threatened and raped. nevermind that people attempted to doxx me. never mind that i was abused and assaulted as a child. nevermind that i have lived my entire life constantly looking over my shoulder.