🎀~🎀~🎀

Both my mom and my grandpa asked if I lost weight and said I looked good. Considering I didn’t see a difference, that felt so good.

I don’t know if I should actually eat breakfast tomorrow because i have swimming at 9:30 am (it’s practice for competitive so it’s not like, light) so i don’t pass out in the pool or if I should just risk it because. tight swimsuit.

⭐️ving would be so much easier if my mom didn’t enforce family dinner as a daily occurrence i’m not allowed to skip. I love that she makes us dinner but like. Stop forcing me to eat it

I’ve been doing more eating than disordering lately and I need like. A wake up call. I need to stay small, and small girls don’t stuff their faces because they’re bored. At this point i just need someone who will be able to yell at me before I eat something so that I don’t.

“You’re already skinny. If you think you’re fat then what do you think about me?” Shut up shut up shut up that’s different you’re different you don’t get it everyones body is beautiful just not mine why don’t you get that i don’t think of you any other way than perfect this isn’t for you it’s for me

I’m so excited for it to get hot enough for me to swim this summer. Once it gets to that point i’ll be able to burn calories and also get back my stamina for when swim starts in august for the school team. A plus is that because I love swimming so much and have for years my family won’t be concerned by the amount i’ll be doing it so they won’t suspect anything

Giving my friends all my food at lunch aside from the bare minimum with them not asking questions >>>

Subconsciously one day my calorie limit dropped from 1000 to 650 and to this day i cannot remember when it was

I’m almost at my first gw and I have never felt more motivated to keep going.

I desperately need good indoor workouts that’ll burn calories. I normally go out and go on walks and do other outdoor things but New York is currently in chaos and I think that going and working out in 250 air quality won’t help me 😭😭

“You’re starving yourself!” No actually i’m not i’m just preparing for that phase of the zombie apocalypse where we can’t get food. I’m actually just 10 steps ahead.