ethereal poet

Knowing that feminism comes with heartbreak, that even my own family doesn't understand the simplest concept, why do I hate men? Is it because "not all men but always men" or midnight breakouts over the thought of a random woman that crept.

Wondering why we still put 'true' in front of love and not believe that opening a door for you is just the bare minimum, maybe loving someone apathetic with whole heart feels like playing a song for them on the guitar; even when you bleed your fingers you'll just invite more songs to come.

Is it normal to believe something is a sign when I see or hear it more than three times like the universe is talking to me? for I believe chivalry isn't dead yet and that someone who says "I'm yours" instead of "you're mine" finds his way somehow to me.

In the end the desire to die always stays the same — even my soul agrees, they say life's short so 'live and let live' but all I can do is embrace the crisis.

My eyes flood the ocean of pain as I scream into nothingness, it's been dry lately cuz all my tears have been used up my body's all manipulations and nothing less.

I think my demon and angel are friends and not haters for I feel nothing just an emotionless choir, what if I just want to ache beautifully and not end up burning in a sparkling fire.

Maybe Robin Williams was right when he said "suicide is the permanent solution to temporary problems!", how can I change myself when I don't know who I am who's still building herself up maybe from pieces from disturbed columns.

I've felt so much that maybe I don't have any emotions left in me to show other than to just cry, is it necessary to speak about my wound that everyone can see but still can't.. so deep I pray to god why me why why and why?

Has your chest ever physically ached for not being able to hug someone? Mine did, never in my wildest dreams I thought of missing someone whom I've never even met.. seems mid.

I fear no one will stay if they see how miserable I'll be when I overthink, every happiness, joy I got from myself is gone in just a blink.

He says he's obsessed and head over heels for me, but all I think of me is as a fool in love so let me be.

He says if you hold a flower, it blooms by your scent, but how do I say all this scares me what if he leaves with all the so called 'with him it all meant.'

The forever promises and an eternity to hold each other, but what if he falls out of love and likes tuther.

If there's six more lives then I'll live one of them happy and satisfied, or maybe more, because in this life I'm a poet so not this one for sure.

Study hard so that I can leave this place and move somewhere else, a wound so deep even my loved ones leave it until it swells.

The choke in my neck feels like the demons having a war to seek revenge, when the one who looses, in the form of tears they bleed out of my eyes they avenge.

The stir in my stomach like a witch preparing my downfall feast, wanting to mix my mind and heart's feelings and call it a wild beast.

Eyes like a puffy bun when I'm all done flooding for two business days, screaming holding my heart till my voice chords break like it's a phase.

They gaze with verdicts when I cry or scream claiming as weak before even knowing the fact, sometimes it just flows thinking why do I even exist doesn't know how to even react.

To all the silent cries to my pillow who knows how my tears tastes and to my blanket who cuddles me through it all, there still is a version of me to come where you guys will be my consolers and the secret keepers that this world will never ever know or will recall.

I would hate myself if I wasn't a poet only to chronicle her in my poems and watch her to the extent that I would faint when she gets ready for an event,if only ever she asks about my health I would throw all my medicines and live happily with her in the present.

A big bouquet of her favourite flowers everyday is what she deserves but she gets happy with just a random flower I plucked cuz I thought she would like,I'm already prepared to take her to the long late night drives just to make her feel good on my bike.

Writing love letters will be our routine and I'll cook her favourite food when she's during her periods and I'll be the listener she never thought she needed,I'll be the shoulders to cry on and watch the stars with her in a calm dreamy night and do everything she wants and the way she deserves to be treated.

And no matter what I'll prioritize her first and save a seat wherever I go cuz the galaxies are grateful for her to be in it,I'll overexplain if she ever overthinks and be her greatest supporter in everything and I'll scream that I love her to the world and be the first one to admit.

I could hug her like the world is yearning for her touch even though she's far, my surroundings speak her language it's like she never left,I'll be the hype man in everything she does and even climb mountains for her if it allows me to touch her she's like a rock who covers my clefts.

She basically lives in my mind making her comfortable.. time doesn't make sense if she's alongside,I hate romeo cuz I would rather live for my lady and make her proud than to be like someone who for love died.

Somebody please tell her not only me even my soul worships her,if she wants a peacock feather I'd bring the whole peacock to her what's kept in a bunch of fur?

But if you ever decide to leave me which would be after 60 years of being together please say I've given you enough memories to carry,and you've the right to fight with me for every single thing you don't like but please don't treat me with silence for it would be more than scary.

It's all destiny otherwise we wouldn't be here talking about love.. her asserting the right over my love and me loving her as she is would be my honour,if a movie night with face masks on and munching would make you mood better I'd accompany you with a blanket to keep you warmer.

She's amazing, a kind of amazing where we promise to grow old together,and ik you don't believe in forever but can I make you believe that I'll leave you never?

Just to see how your eyes turn light brown when the sun kisses you and you look angelically gorgeous,and how your smile reaches up to your eyes like one of your accessories which is more contagious.

I wanna bring your hair back to your ears for which you say 'if a man does that it means he's ready to cross the oceans for you',I would. I'd cross oceans, climb mountains, be ready to take a bullet in my heart just for you to say 'You're too good to be true!'.

Bring your favourite flowers for which you complain you never find them and make them more beautiful by letting you hold them,I always carry a jacket just in case you feel cold, offer it, and think about the moment over and over again.

I remember your favourite drink which you're always happy to drink repeatedly,and I'll listen to all your yaps like my favorite podcast carefully and seatedly.

Except I'm too scared to touch you like I always do cuz I want to yearn for your love and be ready to deserve you,I've dreamt of your touch a thousand times, I've fought with my desires, thought about you in the middle of my work like a view.

But not knowing your heart and just rushing in would be so regretful so I'll wait till I've known you inside and out,how you smile when you feel sad or how your eyes light up when you see your best friend you shout.

And I don't ever want to see anything else when you are my everything,the background just blurs when I see you like it's the cheapest or even at all nothing.

Even now I think you're not real like an angel who thinks the most beautiful part of her is her insecurity,but I don't think God put me in this world to be with just a girl but with you like purity."

And when he confessed without telling I love you that's when I thought he's the one,tears flowing through my eyes a prayer, and seeing him like for my earth he's the sun.

But look at the tragedy my heart doesn't know that the heart it likes is someone else's already, cuz the heart which once loved yours it was busy loving some other heart which didn't even like yours steady.

But the yearning of a heart loving yours will never set until a heart full of love only for you arrives, what if the reincarnation of your own heart is waiting to love you till death and cradle your image within its gaze it thrives.

My heart has a secret alley in which no one has passed in ages will someone dare to take a step and explore its beauty?, it wants to tell how it yearns for a kind of love which doesn't rush and believes in slow love and even love in cruelty.

What if it finds someone who sleeps to see you in its dreams and wakes up to your thoughts and thinks of living in a dreamland with you, where chocolates grow on trees and clouds flow as rivers and fairies live as our neighbours and everything feels fresh and new.

But still this heart questions who's good in this generation maybe there's some pure heart waiting for me, which holds tight even when it's on an attack and for me it's ready to bend on its knees.

Cuz I've always been like that but after I've met you it all started to make sense in a way that I've never noticed, and I don't even like you now but the things you left with me has been so focused.

That green in your eyes that I never got to see but always dreamt of how it would be, but whatever happened was somewhat good for I know you would agree.

But thenn.. at the end all I want to be is a girl living in a castle in the middle of a forest, cuz I'm tired of writing about things that don't want me and longs for a unrecognisble quest.

Sometimes I romanticize and wish the worst for me but I doubt my premonitions, only to see you in my dreams still holding me tight singing and burst my heart with lots of fissions.

If I can survive with a thought that you will be there for me not in real life but my world of mirage, then it would be peculiar cuz my mind will scream while my heart will get sabotaged.

I don't want to miss you like this so meet me and say you'll stay, no matter what you won't let me go even if I say leave me on my condition would you still console me and say.

"Everything's gonna be okay I've got you, you can rest now" holding me in your arms, if I hit myself where it hurts the most multiple times will you make me stare at the stars?

And say "you're like one of those, stardust in your eyes better than mine," say "you're the best thing that happened to me" staring at the moon so divine.

Will it ever effect you if I never came into your life? Or will it kill you to see my somber eyes? My love for you will flow in these poems and I swear it never dies.

If I were to die and I wanted you to love me, will you love me for the hell of it? Holding the nature in your eyes would you dare to atleast love me a little bit?

All these questions I know you wouldn't answer but still will you stay? Just wanted to breath in the same air as you as you pass by or sway away.

I just can't wait to see you in person some day I hope that day comes soon, I often picture you laughing just to catch myself blushing like an idiot staring at the moon.

You call me mine like it's my name in my dreams all my blues turn into colours, we roam around in the garden of tulips like we're some lost lovers.

I'm tired of writing unrequited love poems which I wanna make come true with you, you carrying my heels when I say my feet hurt walking out of a ball room making our dance debut.

I'm a little jealous of the people and even non living things who get to see you everyday, idk why but it turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned like a deep survey.

I wanna hit you with my stupid questions like "why is the Earth's crust so hot?" in the middle of the night, when your notification pops up all I can do is be excite.

Ahhh! Your eyes.. now what's left to say like I'm addicted to the idea of us being together, now that I've seen your eyes I've known that I could drown in green like stormy rainy whether.

I made a pact with myself that I won't make poems about him anymore but here I'm on my way to complete the rest twenty, idk why but everything I do nowadays is for him even in the chaos I dream of him which brings me satisfaction plenty.

Oh to be in a gothic fairytale with him as my villain who would burn down the world for me or to just say I'll write poems about you and serenade you beneath the moonlight, an imperial beauty with greens in his eyes holding the nature when his presence so unreal which made me believe in afterlife in which I'd go if I might.

I'm craving 1850s vampires kind of love, a love where they would love her for the rest of their life, no matter what you always end up waiting for me in my dreams playing a fife.

I just wanna get ready for myself and dance in the dark with the souls of grace in the moonlight, for God if you would've told me how this life's gonna be in my past life, I would've been braver with a hope lit bright.

I would dance in empty street bleeding the pieces of me into shining pebbles, lost in the woods searching for a monster who kept quiet playing a nebel.

A place where I could scream my heart out and cry till my lungs blasts and my throat rips, there will be my real freedom and that'll never be the reality which I already know always strips.

I usually like to delight in serene melencholy creating metaphors in my head to be alive, just to believe someone will say "everything will be alright" if I can't live I could just survive.

How to tell you everything I feel without actually telling you cuz that would only be possible in another lifetime, why do you haunt my memories why can't you come yourself instead, do you ever think about me like I do that it ends up feeling like it's a crime.

I used to wait for the time to hit past 12 because that was when you were fully with me I think, you said not to be too delusional but that's where I can be with you and not come to reality when I blink.

You'll never even know how much I cried over you and you say it's all teenage emotions, even when I know I don't know you, I think you're a bookworm for whom I'm feeling oceans.

They say the dreams we see is just us but from the parallel universe atleast I'm there with you, you don't know how my heart skips a beat even thinking about you it's true.

I feel supercalifragalisticexpialidocipusly beyond repair because of this man, why do I want to bury myself 'till our next eclipse' when I know my delusion can.

Why does my tears won't stop reading our conversation why does my heart weigh too much suddenly, why does he feels like a dream and never return that too inevitably.

Why did I like someone just by seeing their picture at the first place, and why am I going crazy over someone whom I never met in my life or seen their face.

I just wanted to admire him until my feelings fade away but it took twist and turns in my life, now I'm writing poetries about how I'm hurt and how I'm feeling stife.

But why should I cry why should I waste my time for noone, when I have my friends to hold me for lifetime and stop saying he's the one.

Maybe I liked older men just to know how this world works, not that he was bad he was just a lesson that I shouldn't lurk.

I like how my cheeks hurt when I smile in happiness it doesn't fade, I write everything in my diary, how my day was with you like I'm getting paid.

You return like autumn, and I fall every time with a stupid smile on my face, you should see my face which is yearning just for a single gaze.

You're the definition to Van Gogh's paintings, the starry nights and the cool breeze, for you I'd fall from grace and if you say I'd even freeze.

I like the way you talk to me and say it's nice to learn new things, still you don't know me yet how I blush when I know it's just some random flings.

For you I love the line, "oh vulture you can have all the flesh, just spare my eyes for I hope to see him once!", the urge to say the sun is beautiful isn't it? or the fact that I saw you in my dreams once. (or twice)

I hope he doesn't get annoyed when he hears my stupid questions, for I'd hope to get to adore him in all the dimensions.

How is it even a poetry if I don't write about his eyes when it's soo beautiful, I swear to god his eyes makes me forget how to breathe isn't it so dutiful.

You're like the welcoming scent in my dreams but with so much innocence and mystery, your eyes saying something like desert sands, the mountains, stars and planets, deepest sea and deeper still through history.

You don't know me better yet to just give me a single glance and write two words about me, I made this poetry for how I adore you and for you to see.

There wouldn't be any kinds of angry men and abuses wouldn't be any begging and bruises, there wouldn't be any girl like jenny just happy faces with the man she chooses.

A home where everything is left to build however I like to live comfortably, a place where I can live without being scared and dance to Taylor Swift perfectly.

Either this universe or another or perhaps what I can't have in this life, I'll forever have death after licking off the knife.