Here's a picrew approximation of yours truly if you need to put a face to the nonsense! There's a bunch of us but I'll be running this blog on my own, it looks like!
The name situation is all over the place! I'm pretty sure the brainstem of this thing is just compacted anxiety about having to pick names for the fictional characters it makes up, so when I try to draw one, it bites!
Aster for now! But I'm really only confident about the first letter! 💖
What's my deal? I'm your big sister. Yes, even if you're older than me.
Anyway, the blog–
There's a lot of posts in which people are doubting their plurality, or retracting statements of its existence, probably because they got bullied in the syscourse tags.
So here is a post I liked on what may count as plural, which is not a medical term and was chosen on purpose. I'd like this place to serve as a display case for all the little moments that had us going "Oh, right. There's a crowd here," outside of what the medical system and its fandom insist on centering around suffering and disorder. Unpleasant/negative examples can still be submitted, I just refuse to make them the Only Thing.
Examples from our actual life blow the cut!
Currently, there isn't a content tagging system but I'll figure something out, feel free to send asks suggesting warnings you think you'd need.
One of us was writing very thoughtful, patient responses in a comment section. Next time I looked at it, another one of us had blocked the other person.
I was looking for another example in a discord chat Just Now and I was hit with a message from one of us going "[Greek Mythology character] has such a pretty name I'm jelly." This was. At least four years before the guy in our system currently using that name made himself known and picked it up, and neither of us remembers this conversation.
It feels uncomfortable to use profile pictures or usernames anywhere online that suggest a Singular Thing. Photo of five cats? Okay good. Photo of one cat? I am wasting away, there is a Wrongness at the heart of the universe.
Friend was supposed to go to bed. Showed up as online. Someone said "You are a liar and a fraud" out loud to the screen. And then I was fronting wondering why I would say that.
We routinely rediscover Knowledge that we Already Had, and I mean entire sets of principles and philosophical theories, based on which Creature comes out of hibernation with the seasons.
The Depression and Despair are fifteen years old. I cannot explain this.
Was doing the math trying to figure out how long ago something was and I heard myself go: "Well, if I'm 27 now..." I am not 27.
Feel different than I used to. Change name. New name works for current self. Feel different than I used to. Change name. New name works for current self. Feel different than I used to. Change name. Old name works for current self? Oh, I'm that guy again.
On certain days, being misgendered ruins my mood until the rest of time and this has always been true. On other days, being misgendered is a fun opportunity to fuck with people by repeating what they said to me as if to confirm that I've heard it, and change the gender they assigned to me with the casual ease of someone who assumes you surely just misspoke and would never do this on purpose so why make a thing of it, and this has also always been true.
Sometimes I start writing Stupid Discourse and receive the wisdom of several comprehensive arguments about why my reasoning is flawed before the end of the first sentence. I think everyone should willo a fact-checker, the online experience would improve overnight.
Sometimes "I" am disconsolate about things that I actually know I feel happy and confident about.
Sometimes I write fanfic about The Character and they correct my dialogue.
Sometimes I've never liked this shirt why do I keep it, and then sometimes where's the shirt I must wear the shirt.
Going out the door is a nightmare and takes forever because "I" imagine I'm going to inexplicably have the time and space to engage in fifteen different activities for which I must have supplies available. I cannot conceive of leaving the house without [item]. I never end up using [item].
The fact that the writing style fluctuates so much across this list based on who wrote the example!
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Hello 👋 i think ill identify myself as crow, you might remember from the colors peeps, we do appreciate your words for orange a lot.. (i can kinda feel her being grumpy in back..
Another anecdote i have thats like ohh yeah.. cause we doubt ourselves a lot when blurry
Green the only man in the system dressed the body today so when I got here I was like Green what the actual fuck did you dress me in 😭
We have little to no amnesia but the visceral what the hell am i wearing i had when fronting and how happy Green was when a friend said we pass well like..
I love Green and we are fairly similar in personality but oh boy our fashion tastes are different
Signed Purple of crow <3
Hello, my rainbow friends!
(Be not afraid annoyed, Orange, everything is cool.)
I feel for you on the clothes thing, I dress—well, see the pin. The other girl likes black and red, which nobody else wears. The boys fluctuate between “formalwear clown” and “you may not know the shape of me.” It's hard out here.
Asking anonymously to protect myself but you may refer to me as Arthur with He/Him pronouns.
Fun fact, I have a load of names (more than one for sure), some masculine, feminine and other, but the level of resonance (as in if I like others referring to me as this name and if I like to refer to myself with this name) I have for all of then fluctates in intensity. Lesser used names are usually a bit lower than the names I often use. I don't think this is /really/ connected to my possible plurality though when I was making an alter (which I now consider to be a stupid act of mine) they (and/or I) were indecisive about two names.
Now I'm fictionhearted, and I sort of want my kith/hearttype (aka the fictional character I identify with) to be sentient, but also not at the same time. They're actually a character from a fandom who I've built their backstory due to being a personification. And said kith/hearttype is INCREDIBLY different from me.
I don't think I'll necessarily make this kith/hearttype sentient, rather, a puppet for me, the puppeteer to use (or roleplay, in my case). Sometimes I feel like I'm median, singlet leaning, because sometimes I feel like 100% me and then sometimes 95% me and 5% unknown. Oh well. I just wanted to tell someone about this.
I dunno, Arthur, the revolving door of names seems pretty plural to me. Ask me how many we went through before we realized we kept falling out of love with them because they weren't ours.
Here's a few specifically from our kin -> plural pipeline.
Feeling like my kin existed as an entity beside / around me, rather than me identifying as them.
Having several "shifts" at once, that felt less like actual kinshifts, and more like several different people around me, just very tightly bound together. (Co-fronting / con &/or blurry.)
Having many, many, many TLs or source memories, that I could only connect (feel like me) to or remember in Specific Circumstances. (Said part fronting.)
Having conversations and talking with / at my kins.
Source memories are so weird when you don't know what's going on yet. Advanced headcanons!
When we used to have intensive "daydreams" of us hanging out with the "blorbos" when we were younger. (We were fucking around in headspace with each other, or constantly rewriting and changing each others daydreams and thoughts in a that we may as well have been hanging out in headspace. And the blorbos of course are the forever forming fictives /silly.)
Ah yes, the maladaptive-dreaming to people-in-my-head pipeline.
Our fictive also started out as Blorbo, but as I say this I have to dodge her throwing sharp objects at me~
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when we were writing fanfic and a voice that sounded suspiciously like the guy I was writing about started complaining I was doing it wrong. (shoutout cherie love u. thank u for helping me write you pooks)
"Wow! The Singer makes me so happy and feel so loved, he's amazing and I wish we were friends. His music is the best!"
A voice that sounds suspiciously like The Singer: "Thanks, man 👍"
(Shout out to all the factives out there, but especially Chris in our system ♥️)
Yeah, factives tend to have it rough. I'm glad you get to have him around, though.
Honestly I'm surprised we haven't introjected Our favorite singer by now. He wouldn't even mind, he's been dead like 30 years. Does that count as necromancy?
The vast majority of us are aroace but sometimes That One Greyaroace Alter fronts and we get hit with hints of OHTHATPERSONISHOT
Sometimes when one of the guys is taking us places (because he walks faster and hurts himself less doing it), he'll walk past a pretty girl and I'll unintentionally airdrop him a crush because she's so cute.
And then I have to apologize for accidentally making him straight for 30 seconds by being a lesbian. /j
Like two weeks ago another headmate found a comic that describes our switching symptoms and @'d me with "see? We felt this before I found it, so *please* stop thinking you're making us up"
Since then faking doubts are down to our usual anxiety rate
our syscovery was so funny because one of our friends (we'll call em S) was already plural, then our friend M realised THEY were plural, and then we started actually examining why our "kintypes" were so separated and our "shifts" so pronounced, and both S and M kept going "You're plural boy" and we were in denial for AGES.
The moment that made us realise "Oh yeah no we're plural for realsies" was when one of our friends made a joke and we laughed... with one voice outside and three inside.
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Like a few months back the ONE introject we have in here bullied the rest of the system/host(s)? Into acknowledging that the voices weren't just like.. ✨️voices✨️ how it went basically
"I AM A REAL PERSON I AM A REAL PERSON I AM A REAL PERSON AND I AM NOT YOU!"
"No I have enough shit going on none of this is real its just the ocd being weird"
"Oh my word, hey pink will you shut the fuck up if you are allowed to make your own social media and fucking journal or some shit??"
"... yes?"
"No no no no no no no no this is bad this is bad this is wrong this is wrong"
"You lot are noisy fml"
"Oh we are allowed to be people not just 'moods' now?? Yay!"
Orange is still yet to get with the program 😭
Oh nooo Orange, please! It's not so scary out here! I get the anxiety, some of us have OCD too (I say some because while we share a brain, the teenagers tend to hog symptoms XD), but stuff you might attribute to it is only a problem if it's actually harmful! The voices in your head wanting to journal and make grilled cheese is fine actually.
I feel this hard though, our introject (yes, also just the one at time of writing) was also the first one of us that we noticed and couldn't deny. Wondering how common this is.
Every so often someone will comment on what we are watching. We were watching The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow in class (the 1999 version I think) because we had just finished reading it. We had interjected Ichabod Crane (he/they/it) before this so now he’s here watching it with us.
anyway, we get to the part where (spoilers) Katrina VanTassle rejects Ichabod (rightfully so in my opinion) and all of a sudden Catlynn (Shx/hxr) starts going “POP OFF QUEEN!!!” “YESSSS” “TELL HIM!!!”
THEN WE HEAR A QUIET “thank you” SO YALL NOW WE INTROJECTED KATRINA AND THAT WAS THE MOMENT I REALIZED THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS JUST MAKING THIS SHIT UP
-Syd (it/neos)
ps: sorry this was long lol. Just felt like sharing the story :p
Nooo I love long stories this is hilarious thank you
i was in heavy denial for a few days after syscovery but then some alters switched in to draw with me and i was like "yeah no. i'm plural LMAOO"
(does this count. as. as something to put on this blog. i skimmed the intro post i'm so sorry gjsdkgj)
Yes it does and also it's very cute. Do some art with the friends who live in your head!
it counts to us if it counts to you, the examples aren't homework, they're just there if anyone needs encouragement that something short of "Hello, my name is Spiders Georg and i am an introject of the tumblr meme" counts.
