text post sentence starters / original version here
“bro, you look so cute right now. dude, you are so fucking adorable.”
“wanna watch this murder documentary with me?”
“i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there’s a 900% chance i’ll cry.”
“i may act like I’m clueless but actually know what’s going on at al times.”
“attention: i need attention.”
“i don’t have a nervous system. i’m a nervous system.”
“drugs? no thanks, the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder.”
“i think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.”
“why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?”
“i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole.”
“i don’t want to look ‘pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.”
“i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know.”
“girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. i don’t remember what i was going to say but i’m just gay.“
“i’d love to relax but that’s just not realistic.”
“contrary to popular belief i’m actually soft and have feelings.”
“this could be less hetero.”
“to be honest i just need a hug.”
“why can’t I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?”
“this is it, this is how i die: lack of attention.”
“are we just friends or is this flirting serious?”
“i have this problem where i isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because i’m lonely.”
“i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.”
“i don’t wanna get involved in drama i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened.”
“i am bysexual as in i’m not interested, goodbye.”
“i could win an olympic gold medal in being ignored.”
“fill your heart with bees. if someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees.”
“i’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.”
“i panic a lot of other places besides the disco.”
“which layer of hell do you think you’re going to?”
“my kink is being right.”
“my kink is being home alone.”
“you’re really sensitive for a selfish asshole.”
“i can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, i have a big heart and can’t treat people badly, that’s just not me.”
“what about netflix and kill?”
“no offense but why does everyone hate me?”
“i’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life.”
“why do i get struggles instead of snuggles?”
“if a conversation goes on too long without being about me, i’m out.”
“i’m small, queer and something to fear.”
“all this sadness is bad for my skin.”
“i’m cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive”
“i’m beautiful and underappreciated.”
“she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.”
“sorry for being awesome, loser.”
“is ‘no’ an emotion? because i’m feeling it.”
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