Sans titre

Well, gee, already 2 posts about it, I guess I'll have to do a master list-ahem.

THE APOCALYPSE!!! (Capitals required)!

A VERY SERIOUS topic!

People dying left and right, monsters escaped from literaly hell to kill you (or worse), an unlikely crew of untrustworthy teammates, a mentor figure who may or may not want to start up another apocalypse…

Indeed, the Apocalypse is very doomy. And Gloomy.

But it needs not be always so, for there is One MC who resists again and again against the forces of angst and depression!

Have you ever wanted to roleplay as a masochistic fairy obsessed with their iron lamp?

Do you have the itch to summon the Great Old Ones to try and start a massive kaiju battle?

Are you perhaps interested in escaping deadly monsters though the power of tango?

If you have answered yes to any of those questions, congratulations, for we present to you the archetype of the…

I have no excuse for what comes next, other than "I am very distractible your honor".

Cuckoo points

When watching the TV with Adrian (after Lorelei appears) -My spidey senses are tingling. +1 Cuckoo

When the barrier goes up: -I burst out singing the infamous Doom Song. +1 Cuckoo

Walking through the forest: -I just keep a watchful eye out for any potential lurking yeti. +1 Cuckoo

Baby's first spell: -"IÃ! IÃ Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh cthulhu r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" +1 Cuckoo -I know what I must do. And that means beginning to dance the Macarena. +1 Cuckoo --I wonder if pocket snakes and pocket spiders can get along well together? +1 Cuckoo

If you STILL didn't get your cursed mark healed and you have a gun, throw it at the hellhound. +1 Cuckoo

If you are an Imposter, after the suspicious billboard appears: -"I thought I just saw a mutant wolf-bear-shark/zombie standing by the side of the road!" +1 Cuckoo

Upon meeting Percy, if you are his soulmate: -Oh my god, it's my soul mate! +1 Cuckoo

Before the introductions: -This is in preparation for the lunatic asylum, obviously. +1 Cuckoo

Percy's 20 Questions: -How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? +1 Cuckoo

The chess game (Must know SOMETHING about Arthurial lore) -A fine tradition just so long as a chess set doesn't go zooming around the room +1 Cuckoo

Rock Paper Scissors contest: -Never mind, all this. I begin dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo

Final round of the Rock Paper Scissors against Merlin: -I begin imagining a naked Homer Simpson seductively dancing around while singing "Meow, meow, meow!" +1 Cuckoo

The Chess: -I flick my marble and knock several of my opponents' pieces out of their peg holes. +1 Cuckoo

How to Soulmate Percy T. Longspear

I noticed several people were asking, so now you shall receive!

You need: Cuckoo over 30 And Corruption under 0 Will rating over 7 a Hero score over 0 Sweet over 100 or two-faced(Sweet) Purity over 3

A rather hefty list when ou think about it, but easier to think about when breaking it down.

Cuckoo Score >= 30

The cuckoo score is what my entire guide is about, but there are ways to determine how high yours is during the game:

After the dream sequence, if cuckoo > 30: "Hello, can you hear me?" During the mysterious quotes.

When casting the spell to detect a harbinger, if cuckoo>30: A moment of startlement and someone reaches forth." There you are "And with that, it vanishes.

(In other words, Percy reaches out to you through the Malkavian Network Cuckoo Sensor)

If either of those appear for you in-game, you're golden.

Hero > 0

The hero score is a tally of your 'heroic' actions. You gain 1 point when you WILLINGLY rescue your clubmate and another when you try protecting Adriand from the hellhound (must pass the fear check)

Purity >=3

Purity is the easiest: Be a general heroic do-gooder. Don't steal, don't swear, ever (seriously, swearing too much actually tanks your purity), and don't get mindcontrolled. In 2-2, when confronted to the choice about swearing, picking the first option (As usual my mind remains pure and free of any swear words that might fit this exact situation.) already gives you +2. If you went to the rescue during Club? Gain +1. If you tried protecting Adrian from the hellhound? Another +1 and enough to put you in the clear.

Warning: Picking Serial Killer will give you a grand total of -1000 purity, therefore locking you out of soulmate status automatically

Sweet >= 100 or two-faced(Sweet)

Sweet is self-explanatory and I'm not high enough on sugar to even think about making a Sweet Guide. Pick the general 'nice' options and it should be easy.

Will >=7

The Big One, the options to gain some Will aren't that common, sooooo, I guess… SneakyWillPointsGuideUpToMeetingPercyGO! (Ignoring the mind control, demon mark shenanigans, and the will loss mitigations though (they're not net positives after all))

An impromptu Will points guide!

Prologue:

Wake Up: +1 Will

In the Apartment:

Childhood (Amnesia): will +1 After the TV turns itself on, keep turning it off until you get the Sysiphus achievement: will +1 Hobby (Criminal): will +1 BUT Also gives +1 Corruption Phone (Juke): will +1 Try to exorcise the TV: will +1

Adrian Convo:

Be stubborn about your outfit choices (dresses, tux, Spandex…). One example is the infamous Tange de la Muerte episode (complete with Keikaku achievement). will +1 If you're a security guard, refuse to run away and tell Adrian what happened in the Parking Lot: will +1 Talk about intrusive thoughts and give him a rundown of the ones you've had: will +1 Ask about the apocalypse and when asked about why, reply with "Meta Knowledge": will +1 BUT Also gives +1 Corruption

Polo Club:

Deny foreshadowing 7 times. will +1 Talent(Lucid dreamer) will +1 If you fell off your horse: I somewhat painfully rise to my feet under my own power. will +1 During the match, ignore everything and "I ignore everything else and keep my eyes riveted to the lurching void that shambles ever closer." will +1 (your vice must NOT be Greed) Successfully rescue Pippa: will +1

Fencing Club:

On the way to the club, keep your eyes on the prize: will +1 Keep procrastinating and avoid changing/delay 4 times: will +1 (If your vice is Sloth, gain +1 Vice level which is… Ominous.) In the Stalls, when told to come out and play: -Scream bloody murder for Adrian, then refuse to move: will +1 -Pull out your weapon at the ready: will +1 Talent(Lucid dreamer) will +1 Before the match: I gravely inform the audience that only masked eyes are allowed to behold my full splendor. will +1 (Need Cuckoo >4) During the sword match, before the sword breaks: I concentrate fully on the fencing bout I'm currently engaged in. will +1 After the match, try changing in the Changing rooms with Brenda: will +1

Fencing failure (Paramedic): Immediately start applying pressure on Zain (Don't go for the station): -I just focus on my work right in front of me. Complexion pale. No stridor or wheezing. Was it just the sight of all the blood that caused him to lose consciousness? will +1

Sword Club Bad end (Paramedic) -Still I plod on. This is why I'm a paramedic. will +1

As far as secrets go, being a serial killer gives you will +1 while lying about your amnesia gives you will +3

The Time Bubble:

If Fear checked against hellhound pass: -I pull out my weapon from its bag. It's better than nothing. will +1 -I protectively step in front of Adrian, much to his great consternation. will +1

When arriving to your building, take the stairs. will +1 STOICALLY plod your way up the stairs. will +1 Ignore Adrian's advice: will +1 In front of your apartment: Never mind going into my apartment. Let's stay in the corridor. will +1 Inside your apartment: I REFUSE TO GO TO SLEEP! will +1

If you failed the check and the Hydra grabs you: -I tear my weapon free. will +1 -I desperately cling on to anything within reach. will +1

If successfully escaped they Hydra: -I calmly open the door and inform the new visitor/s about a potential monster infestation. will +1

Look through the peephole, then open the door to slam it in their face again. will +1 (This WILL give you -10 Sweet, so not the best if you're aiming for Percy)

If Merlin ends up having to blow up your door: I just pull forth my handy weapon and wave it menacingly at the interloper. will +1 (-5 Sweet on that one. Once again, to avoid)

Refuse healing: will +1

Merlin's infodump and preparing to leave:

If turned into a duck: -I'm a duck. I've got wings now. I can fly. I know what I must do. To infinity and beyond! will +1

Categorically refuse to join the adventure: will +1(And increases Denial)

Don't take anything with you on this quest: will +1

Don't take a full inventory with you on this quest: will +1

Leaving the house: Dance in the enevator, then go for the Tango de la Muerte for the Coup the Grâce. will +1

When thinking back about the apartment: My thoughts are my own alone. will +1

Dream sequence: (Must be Lucid Dreamer)

Speaking with Merlin: "Merlin… say my name." will +1 Fighting with Lancelot: This is a dicey game to play, but even so… I'll push my luck as a dreamer here! will +1 When adventuring with Arthur: This is the memory of a dream that I now walk. And so I'll force the knowledge of where the fae awaits into my very mind and take action at that. will +1 At the end of the dream, turn around and catch the hand. will +1

In the RV

Ignore Merlin's warning and pick up the phone anyway. will +1 (Corrupt +1)

In the Parking lot:

If Kidnapped: Try to escape (need will>7) will +1 Follow Merlin (need will>7) will +1 -Keep trying to find him. will +1 --Look up. will +1 --Protect your neck. will +1 --- No really… what had Merlin truly been doing out here? will +1

In the shop:

In the RV, when you talk about your dream to Merlin -I casually mention a few strange things I might've said or sung (Only selectable if you've done weird things during the dream) --It's the perfect time to break out into a rousing rendition of "You Won't Succeed on Broadway". +1 Cuckoo

When getting out of the RV: -Suddenly it seems very relevant… I burst out singing "The Blob" with its suitably squirmy associated dance number. +1 Cuckoo -I ask the Magic 8-Ball for any tips it would like to share about this encounter. +1 Cuckoo

If staying in the RV: -I ask the Magic 8-Ball what I should do. +1 Cuckoo -This is an unparalleled opportunity to practice my much-vaunted tightrope walking! +1 Cuckoo

When the little girl appears: -"Oh no, we're being invaded by the leprechauns!" I dramatically yell. +1 Cuckoo -Chase the little girl all around the RV yelling how you're going to grind her bones for bread. +1 Cuckoo

If staying in the RV and you didn't get Merlin to heal your mark (you masochists): -I fumble for my Magic 8-Ball to ask for inside help. +1 Cuckoo

In the shop, when the blob attacks (Note: This can also be picked if you followed merlin and joined late) -I burst out singing the iconic theme song "The Blob" by The Five Blobs. +1 Cuckoo -Ooh… is that the newest issue of The Journal of Freaky Encounters I see behind the lurking creature? +1 Cuckoo (mustn't have Greed)

When the Blob approaches, if you don't have Greed and don't fail the Fear check: -"Hello, do you have the newest issue of The Journal of Freaky Encounters?" I politely ask the blob of horrifying goo. +1 Cuckoo -"Beware the Blob! It creeps and leaps and glides and slides…" I begin singing. +1 Cuckoo

If you are fighting the blob: -Don't you hate it when you're out on the road and you remember that you left your oven on? And then you realize that your entire apartment burned down, so it doesn't matter anyway? +1 Cuckoo

If you require healing after the blob fight: -"Did you ever wonder if people sometimes get lost in the backrooms of McBuckway Bell's?" I casually ask. +1 Cuckoo -"The blob… it creeps and leaps and glides and slides…" I feebly begin singing. +1 Cuckoo

The Dream Sequence

No two ways around it, you need Lucid Dreamer for ALL of those.

Talking to Merlin: -"We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot![" Yes, certainly bursting into a Monty Python song will be helpful here. +2 Cuckoo (You need to have mentionned the monty pythons before or a certain level of Arthurian lore, and in a cuckoo run, the Monty Pythons one is easier to clear.) --"I fully expect you to step in and save me when I end up accused of witchcraft after dancing on the Round Table." +1 Cuckoo

During the match with Lancelot: -"Have at thee, Lancelot! Even if you're big and strong and hot and occasionally do some things that you should not!" +1 Cuckoo

After the match, if you've been weird around Lancelot: -"His name is Lance-a-lot, and in tight pants-a-lot," I mutter underneath my breath. +1 Cuckoo

Speaking with Arthur: -"Sire… what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" +1 Cuckoo

Once the dream ends, turn around to catch Modern Arthur's hand, and have a conversation with him. -"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" +1 Cuckoo

Chapter 1-7:

When packing up: -"The castle at the end of the world awaits," I randomly announce as I go to pack my things. +1 Cuckoo -Picking the SpyraThree WaterBlaster squirt gun. +1 Cuckoo -Picking the Magic 8-Ball. +1 Cuckoo (This one is especially important because it opens up cuckoo options down the liner)

If turned into a duck by Merlin because you kept refusing the call: -I start passionately moonwalking through the manakin's courtship mating dance. +1 Cuckoo

Getting out of the apartment: -I leave the front door unlocked in our wake. That'll help the firefighters later. +1 Cuckoo

Going to check on Adrian: -Whoo! Are we beating up the vending machine for fun and profit now? I rush in and begin pounding on its frame as well. +1 Cuckoo

If you sabotaged Merlin's dance at the very beginning -I wonder if the vending machine has any snickerdoodles in stock now? +1 Cuckoo

After successfully fending off (or failing to fend off) Lili: -I know what I must do. I not-so-randomly burst out singing "Let It Go" from Frozen. +1 Cuckoo

Distracting Maia: -I launch into a vivid recounting of my completely normal day as a distraction. --Obviously I should've included even more zombies/werewolves/mutants in the story for the added extra spice. +1 Cuckoo

In the Elevator after Merlin's Dance failed previously -I just wonder if there really is an ice cream truck down there. +1 Cuckoo -I've a feeling that this elevator ride is proceeding faster than it could have. +1 Cuckoo

In the elevator: -(If fear isn't attention, and Bold>30 or cuckoo >7)I break out into my own free-form style of dancing as a distraction. +1 Cuckoo --I don't care if we've arrived… the dancing will continue on eternally! +1 Cuckoo --And for the final coup de grâce, it's the perfect time to break out the Tango de la Muerte! +2 Cuckoo -"Have you ever been caught inside a museum that's being flooded to the roof?" +1 Cuckoo

After successfuly passing the Elevator -I wonder if toilet paper is on sale right now? +1 Cuckoo

In the Lobby: When trying to charm/distract the guard: -It's time for charades! +1 Cuckoo

Entering the RV: -I wonder if Merlin has any gouda cheese in stock? +1 Cuckoo

And we're back with part 6 of the Tally, Covering Merlin's infodump! A bit shorter than usual because there is less 'meat' to this topic, which is why I'm double posting it with part 7.

Chapter 1-6

After Merlin Introduces themselves -"…" I say eloquently. --This sounds like it's time for an interpretive dance! +1 Cuckoo --"The celery stalks at midnight. And ice cream saves lives," I cryptically say. This and nothing more. +1 Cuckoo

During your introductions

-I wonder if one could eat people's names, what would they taste like? +1 Cuckoo

If you pick to give Merlin a fake name, and then input either your real name or your real name but inverted (last name first and first name last):

-No, this is perfect! No one will ever suspect that my true name is actually the same as my fake name! It's pure unadulterated genius! +1 Cuckoo No, this is perfect! No one will ever suspect that my true name is actually the inversion of my fake name! It's pure unadulterated genius! +1 Cuckoo

Merlin's Infodump:

-What is all this about demons? Hellhounds? The nether realm? --How did the demons even manage to track us down in the first place? And if they've been doing that all along, does this make them the Midnight Mauler? ---Of course, I'm guaranteed to be very delicious. +1 Cuckoo

-First things first… what is this about a potential apocalypse? --"I always knew that I was a rose beginning to bloom! Now I just have to find the Grey and start handing out kisses…" +1 Cuckoo

-What does Camelot have to do with what's going on now? --Who exactly are all these other immortals out there? ---Who are the fae? ----"Not for thy fairy kingdom. Fairies, away! We shall chide downright, if I longer stay. I know a bank where the wild thyme blows. Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, quite overcanopied with luscious woodbine, with sweet musk roses and with eglantine…" +1 Cuckoo

When showing your demonic mark to Merlin: -I immediately launch into a detailed recounting of my strange dream and the strange contusion that followed it. --But why did King Arthur maul me in my dreams? ---Maybe I should send Arthur an apology card for suspecting him? +1 Cuckoo

Calling dibs on Lamorak: -(If at least friendly with Adrian and your phone isn't the Juke) Of course, it's all connected! I whip out a mental pinboard within my mind. +1 Cuckoo

Calling Dibs on Mordred: -No, this plan is brilliant! We can't be betrayed by Mordred if I'm Mordred! +1 Cuckoo

During the reincarnation talks: -I wonder if a knight in flight can take down a B-21 Raider? +1 Cuckoo

The upcoming sections are understandably lighter on cuckoo content, so I'll fuse them together in the interest of saving space. Once again, this is not a guide, just a tally of where the cuckoo points are at.

Chapter 1-5

When going to Adrian's apartment: -I howl at the moon. Someone has to do it, right? +1 Cuckoo --I wonder if we can get a whole buffalo delivered to us? +1 Cuckoo

If you aren't staying at Adrian's for the night and don't have the vice of Wrath: -Randomly burst out singing a rousing rendition of 'Strangers in the Night' +1 Cuckoo

The Hellhound's here! I slowly edge behind Adrian and hide in his shadow. -I didn't leave my apartment on fire, did I? I always forget +1 Cuckoo

Merlin to the Rescue (If vice isn't Greed): -"I knew it! Magic really does exist!" My tone's oddly gleeful considering the circumstances. +1 Cuckoo

When Running away (If fear isn't Darkness): -If we jumped into the wall of darkness would it be like deep sea diving? Or maybe like venting yourself into space? +1 Cuckoo

If trying to help Merlin fight (And Adrian carries you away…) -"Unhand me, you nefarious varmint!" +1 Cuckoo

In front of your apartment (If fear isn't Darkness) -"No, we can still do this! We can avoid the streets by jumping from rooftop to rooftop!" +1 Cuckoo

Chapter 1-5-2

Climbing up the stairs: -Bat Powers, Activate! Echolocation, goooo! +1 Cuckoo

If staying on the second floor -Random thought, I wonder if glow sticks would still work here? +1 Cuckoo

If headed toward the seventh floor and Adrian is with you: -Alas, we're headed in the wrong way for me to surf down the banister. +1 Cuckoo

When talking to Adrian about Silent Hill (and not noping out of the topic / ignorant of it) -"Whoo! I'm going to get an autograph from Pyramid Head in that case!" +1 Cuckoo

When talking to a non-antagonistic Adrian -What was that thing in the street? --"I need a picture of that thing. Otherwise no one will ever believe us." ---I'm still just considering the logistics of taking a selfie here. +1 Cuckoo -What is with those walls of darkness? --I burst out singing "Hello Darkness, My Old Friend…" +1 Cuckoo

When discussing Merlin: -(either mute or having a silence score over 15) It seems that Adrian has a dire feather allergy. +1 Cuckoo -I see… you have a dire feather allergy, don't you?" +1 Cuckoo

Hand holding: -Suddenly I have an old Beatles song going on repeat through my head. +1 Cuckoo --"Lewd unprotected handholding… I think I might be pregnant." Yes, this is definitely the most appropriate thing to say at this moment. +1 Cuckoo

If you are at your apartment and have previously picked the 'running on rooftope' option before entering the building: -What's going on outside? I carefully approach my sliding glass doors. --It seems that Plan E is a bust. +1 Cuckoo

Chapter 1-5-3:

If caught by the monster under the bed and clinging for dear life: -With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg +1 Cuckoo -"And now for a final word from our sponsor" +1 Cuckoo -"Death, death… O amiable lovely death! Thou odoriferous stench! Sound rottenness! Arise forth from the couch of lasting night. Thou hate and terror to prosperity and I will kiss thy detestable bones. And put my eyeballs in thy vaulty brows" +1 Cuckoo

While trying to escape the hydra via the balcony: -I jump up and charge at the glass doors. +1 Cuckoo --(If you haven't previously opened the window): +1 Cuckoo

Asking your magical 8-ball: -Let me just check my Magic 8-Ball here. +1 Cuckoo

And we are back for the newest installment of the Cloudcuckoolander tally, this time featuring the fencing club. And I'm definitely counting this thing as part of my NaNoWriMo wordcount tally goal dammit.

Now, for the sake of simplicity, the following factors are preferable (but not necessary) for your cuckoo MC

-Friends or more with Adrian -Gadgetry as a hobby -NOT have the following fears: Blood, Fear, Attention -Greed will help

Additionally, the Fencing Club is the only pick that allows you to have a mute MC while still grabbing the 'Keikaku' achievement.

On the way to the club:

I double-check to make certain that the passing university student isn't actually a zombie in disguise. cuckoo +1

The Adrian conversation (topics about clothes are mostly identical, with a few differences):

Red Cape + Frame = 3 or height = tall: -"Little?" I wonder if Adrian has suddenly gone blind. --"Aye, Aye, fairy godmother." +1 Cuckoo

Vampire Cape: +1 Cuckoo -Strike a stereotypical vampire pose. +1 Cuckoo --"I never bite and tell" +1 Cuckoo --"Lies and slander! I've got my own superior vampire teeth for that!" +1 Cuckoo

Spandex Tracksuit: -"I was thinking about wearing this instead of my uniform today." --"If we switched to plastic swords we could totally do naked fencing!" +1 Cuckoo -I say nothing, I merely start dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo (and the Keikaku achievement)

I launch right into the meat of the matter.

-"There was a murder during my last work shift…" --(if police)I begin to describe my brilliant werewolf culprit theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if reporter, paramedic)"All I have to say is… zombies." +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if lab technician) In the end, this is the work of werewolves/zombies… +1 Cuckoo --(if wildlife biologist) I elucidate in great detail upon the nitty-gritty details regarding my genius mutant bear theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo (Whenever applicable) I'm not joking but I pretend that I am in a brilliant double-blind maneuver. +2 Cuckoo

-"So I was recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist…" -- Show your bruised arm to Adrian ---"What? I find this situation perfectly normal." ----I'm not being sarcastic. +1 Cuckoo (Note: If your cuckoo score is under 5, you gain +1 Denial instead)

-"It seems that my apartment may be a little bit haunted…" --"I don't know, man, that bedroom ghost sounded pretty sexy." ---Obviously, I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo

I launch into a long involved story regarding my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. -(follow the 'recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist' answer line) --"I blame the poltergeist. Also the werewolves, potential zombies, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that mutant fairies may be involved," you ramble. +1 Cuckoo

I believe actions speak louder than words

-I silently whip out my thirteen-page description of my past day including all details regarding my past work shift, my nightmare and strange injury, as well as the current haunted atmosphere of my apartment. --I wave my arms around in my best impression of a haunting ghost. +1 Cuckoo ---I reenact a scene from an earlier Knights of Our Lives episode that just so happened to appear in my dreams before. +1 Cuckoo (MC needs to know who Caleb is) ----I spin in a circle while twirling my arms. Surely Adrian will understand my meaning. +1 Cuckoo

Outside / Event prompts:

-"I'm on to you and your zombie ways, Sefu. No mercy shall be given by me or my flamethrowing sword!" +1 Cuckoo

-Perhaps it was the werewolf that ate Caleb Degaré? +1 Cuckoo (You need to know who Caleb is)

About the swords breaking: -(If you've got the stats or a high enough cuckoo score) "Don't worry, I've got the stats to save everyone." +1 Cuckoo (The Stats: Body >=30 or Body+Magic>=30 or (Talent=Agility + Body>=20) or (Interpretative Dancing>2 and Body>=20)

Post-Adrian Greetings

Talking about Arthur: "I just want to know if he's secretly a zombie/werewolf/mutant. He is, isn't he?" +1 Cuckoo I wonder if I accidentally left my apartment on fire this morning. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if an African swallow could really carry a coconut? +1 Cuckoo I hold up my phone with a Monty Python and the Holy Grail meme about coconuts on its screen. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if one of those sword swallower people could gulp down Excalibur? It'd be handy to be your own sheath. +1 Cuckoo (Requires Arthuriana fanatic)

Asking about the Apocalypse: "Pure unfiltered meta knowledge." +1 Cuckoo

Ask how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. +1 Cuckoo

Changing your clothes:

-This is it! The perfect time to start a strip tease right in the middle of the practice hall! +1 Cuckoo (fear mustn't be 'attention')

Weapon Choice:

-Never mind the sabre, foil, and épée fencing swords. I really wish that I could use Excalibur to sword fight instead. Just like in the old tales of might and magicry. +1 Cuckoo (++)

Before the spar:

Talking to Hjordis about the swords breaking: -In the end, I can't help but suspect toilet gremlins. +1 Cuckoo

Tell everyone about what happened to you in the restroom: -"If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!" I burst out singing in a very thematically-relevant manner. +1 Cuckoo

When finisheing to prepare for the spar: -It's time to do the Dance of Joy +1 Cuckoo

The color of your sword: -…the color out of space. +1 Cuckoo (++)

Entering the piste: -I throw my extra glove straight in Sefu's face. That's what they're meant for, right?! +1 Cuckoo -I AM Michael Jackson. I put on a single glove and moonwalk to the piste. +1 Cuckoo

-I strike a delicately posed stance, balanced on one leg, knee bent and lifted above my hips, arms extended at my sides like the wings of a crane, as my sword points at the unseen heavens above. +1 Cuckoo -I gravely inform the audience that only masked eyes are allowed to behold my full splendor. +1 Cuckoo

-Frosty the Snowman dances seductively down my spine. +1 Cuckoo

The sword shower incident:

Note: Aside from the stats, you may succesfully pass the sword dance checks if you are a changeling or possess the Lucky talent if your dice roll goes well, though it's an obviously unreliable method to succeed unless you intend to save scum this until you force a pass.

Unwilling rescuer: -I duck and cover and- no, why are my feet moving forward?! No, no, no I'm not trying to 1v1 an entire shower of sharp shrapnel! --I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight? +1 Cuckoo

If the rescue failed, but the people wore masks -Now it's definitely time to do the Dance of Joy +1 Cuckoo --No unmasked eyes are allowed to behold my glory indeed. +1 Cuckoo

Wrapping up (Post good end)

-I launch into a statistical analysis of the causes, probability percentages, prevention methods, and data anomalies found within all train derailment accidents within the past twenty-five years. Yes, most certainly this is an appropriate conversational topic right now. Cuckoo +1

Changing area: Armory -"Don't let the darkness consume your soul or the splinters find your throat," I enigmatically tell my departing clubmate. Cuckoo +1

Changing Area: Men's restroom -"Don't let the darkness consume your souls," I enigmatically call out as my two squabbling clubmates leave before me. Cuckoo +1

Changing Area: Ladies' Restroom -"Don't let the darkness consume your soul." Cuckoo +1

Changing Area: Universal Restroom -"Don't let the darkness consume your soul," I enigmatically tell my cheerily departing clubmate. Cuckoo +1

Changing Area: Corner of the Fencing Hall -"Don't let the darkness consume your soul," I enigmatically reply. Cuckoo +1

It you're possessed (Just… Why?), there is one option right before the sparring match -He's coming! He's coming! He's coming! Cuckoo +1

The fake amnesiac is a very mysterious and meta existence for sure. I'm still collecting data on that one, though there have been a few ambiguous comments pointing at a possibility or the other. The changeling is... Well, I don't *want* to look too deep into it, but seeing as the amnesiac MC used to have the tag 'bewitched' (the same tag as the one you gained when Merlin healed you, in fact!) and the suspicious timing, I'm pretty sure it's a ploy from one of the fae factions that still held power on that side of the Veil? Percy's section in 2-3 definitely points toward them having been active for a while already.

Still, compared to the Imposter secret which is already having some consequences as of 2-3, they are still fairly obscure.

Coming in hot with the second part of my.. Thing (I'm not sure it can be called a guide), here are the many CuckooPoint-granting options there, although with some caveats. Some fears will lock you out of some picks, and so will your relationship with Adrian (As I mentionned in the previous part)

Therefore, for the sake of maximum point granting, please take care to keep those in mind:

-Friends or more with Adrian -Gadgetry as a hobby -NOT have the following fears: Blood, Fear -Greed will help

And now, let us move on for The Points!

Adrian and your past relationship: (Already mentionned last segment, but a reminder doesn't hurt)

If friends (or more) with Adrian + Gadgetry as a hobby: -I just did what the Magic 8-Ball told me to do. +1 Cuckoo

After that, check your MAGICAL GRIMOIRE (You phone) and you will see a message from Adrian (need friends or more) about the horses being spooked. -Do you think its the werewolves? Its always the werewolves. I'll bring the wolfsbane. +1 Cuckoo

Adrian reacting to your clothes: (Already mentionned last segment, but a reminder doesn't hurt)

Red Cape + Frame = 3 or height = tall: -"Little?" I wonder if Adrian has suddenly gone blind. --"Aye, Aye, fairy godmother." +1 Cuckoo

Vampire Cape: +1 Cuckoo -Strike a stereorypical vampire pose. +1 Cuckoo --"No promises" +1 Cuckoo

Tuxedo: -"Actually, I was planning to wear these clothes during practice." --"It will totally be worth it to see everyone's reaction to me riding around in a tux." +1 Cuckoo

Spandex Tracksuit: -"It's a tracksuit, Adrian. Why would I change my clothes again?" I ask 'innocently'. -- I say nothing, I merely start dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo (and the Keikaku achievement)

And now, for the conversation topics…

I make some light chitchat to break the ice.

-"So, how has your day been?" I ask Foreshadow. +1 Cuckoo

I ask about something that's been bothering me.

None! It is woefully bereft of cloudcuckoolander points and therefore may as well not exist.

I launch right into the meat of the matter.

-"There was a murder during my last work shift…" --(if police)I begin to describe my brilliant werewolf culprit theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if reporter, paramedic)"All I have to say is… zombies." +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if lab technician) In the end, this is the work of werewolves… +1 Cuckoo --(if wildlife biologist) I elucidate in great detail upon the nitty-gritty details regarding my genius mutant bear theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo (Whenever applicable) I'm not joking but I pretend that I am in a brilliant double-blind maneuver. +2 Cuckoo

-"So I was recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist…" -- Show your bruised arm to Adrian ---"What? I find this situation perfectly normal." ----I'm not being sarcastic. +1 Cuckoo (Note: If your cuckoo score is under 5, you gain +1 Denial instead)

-"It seems that my apartment may be a little bit haunted…" --"I don't know, man, that bedroom ghost sounded pretty sexy." ---Obviously, I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo

I launch into a long involved story regarding my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. -(follow the 'recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist' answer line) --"I blame the poltergeist. Also the werewolves, potential zombies, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that mutant fairies may be involved," you ramble. +1 Cuckoo

I believe actions speak louder than words

-I silently whip out my thirteen-page description of my past day including all details regarding my past work shift, my nightmare and strange injury, as well as the current haunted atmosphere of my apartment. --I wave my arms around in my best impression of a haunting ghost. +1 Cuckoo ---I reenact a scene from an earlier Knights of Our Lives episode that just so happened to appear in my dreams before. +1 Cuckoo (MC needs to know who Caleb is) ----I spin in a circle while twirling my arms. Surely Adrian will understand my meaning. +1 Cuckoo

Outside / Event prompts:

For a moment you think you see something dark and hulking lumbering behind the nearby red trailer, but the image vanishes within a single blink of your eyes. -Perhaps it was the werewolf that ate Caleb Degaré? +1 Cuckoo (You need to know who Caleb is)

If you deny foreshadow some treats twice (No treats for Foreshadow, those are meant for my own horse.), he will start chewing on your duffel bag. -I chew on the duffel bag myself. +1 Cuckoo

Not to mention part owner of the entire stable of polo ponies

-But the more rodeo clowns, the better. +1 Cuckoo

Post-Adrian Greetings

Talking about Arthur: "I just want to know if he's secretly a zombie/werewolf/mutant. He is, isn't he?" +1 Cuckoo I wonder if I accidentally left my apartment on fire this morning. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if an African swallow could really carry a coconut? +1 Cuckoo I hold up my phone with a Monty Python and the Holy Grail meme about coconuts on its screen. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if one of those sword swallower people could gulp down Excalibur? It'd be handy to be your own sheath. +1 Cuckoo (Requires Arthuriana fanatic)

Asking about the Apocalypse: "Pure unfiltered meta knowledge." +1 Cuckoo (Note: This one also gives +1 Corruption, be careful if you play some specific combos)

Ask how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. +1 Cuckoo

Approaching the trailer

-"You ever wonder what the color red would taste like if you could eat things with your eyes?" +1 Cuckoo

After the trailer

-I tell everyone who'll listen about the strange sounds in the trailer. --(If vice = Greed) I wonder if I could learn to juggle the polo balls? +1 Cuckoo

The Polo Match begins

-I wonder if a polo mallet could be used to eat crabs? +1 Cuckoo

The runaway horse

Most of the options here are tied to having a good end to the incident (which relies on having a non-possessed MC), make of that what you will~

If you didn't try to rescue Pippa, but you fed a treat to Foreshadowing (Adrian does the rescue)

-"WHOOO!" I loudly cheer the arrival of the other riders. --(If cuckoo and silent > 7) At least I don't have a gaping maw. +1 Cuckoo

If you didn't try to rescue Pippa, but didn't feed a treat to Foreshadowing (Adrien gets injured)

-I hurriedly trot over to where Adrian lies prone in the middle of the polo field. --If we'd been riding Velociraptors, I bet this never would've happened. +1 Cuckoo

If you go Rescue Pippa (Need Greed or Fear level < 10, and fear must not be 'fear') -I start humming the theme song from the original Batman TV series. +1 Cuckoo

If you are unwillingly rescuing Pippa -I'm not screaming, I'm yodeling! +1 Cuckoo

To avoid faling off the saddle during the attempt if you ride Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream, after the creature attacked the trailer, wait a few times until the narration says the poney exhales.

If you slip from the saddle (Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream): -I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight? +1 Cuckoo

If you fail the second stat check to rescue Pippa: -GERONIMO! +1 Cuckoo

If you ride Knight Rider/Midsummer Knight Dream or (Queen of Knight/Fly by Knight fed at least once), and (Body>=30 / Charm + body >=50) and unlock the following option:

Once more… -"I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!" +1 Cuckoo

If you ride Queen of Knight/Fly by Knight or (Knight Rider/Midsummer Knight Dream fed at least once), and (Body>=20 / Charm + body >=40) and unlock the following option:

Whatever happens, don't let go. -Da da da da da… Batmaaaaaaan! +1 Cuckoo

If you successfully rescued Pippa: -Rodeo rider, hmm… I see the possibilities. +1 Cuckoo

Post Rescue:

(If not mindcontrolled) "Did anyone else see that strange thing on the hill?" --"…a zombie wolf?" +1 Cuckoo --"…a werewolf in wolf form." +1 Cuckoo --"…a mutant wolf-bear-shark hybrid?" +1 Cuckoo

If you slipped off the saddle with either Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream: -"Come on! I believe in you, Willy! You can do it! You could be free! Come on! You can jump it!" +1 Cuckoo Negligence in equipment maintenance? Manufacturing error? Or… -Or the perfidious work of trailer gremlins? +1 Cuckoo

If helping Ash with the cleanup: -I wonder if we could train dung beetles to do this work instead? +1 Cuckoo

Going back to the trailer:

-I wonder if this horse ramp's good for skateboarding? +1 Cuckoo -If the trailer turned into gingerbread, would we still need to give hay to the horses? +1 Cuckoo (also gives you +1 Magic, the cloudcuckoolander MC does synergize well with magical shenanigans in general)

Helloooo Internet. Seeing as I have nothing better to do with my time, and that people asked about it, but never actually asked for it, I have taken it upon myself to do some weird… Cuckoolander thing.

Now then, let's get ⭐🌟✨~Fabulous~✨🌟⭐

Prologue

Nothing, but Reach Out for Arthur anyway for that +2 Relationship bonus or choose to Wake Up for that +1 Will.

Chapter 1

Some of the choices there lead to you picking the 'real' option next while giving you points. For example, in your Job Choice options, you have:

Fairy Princess (with requisite singing!) (Cuckoo +1): If picked, you get a second choice with the 'actual' job pick. For the sake of not having to repeat this every time, every such choice will have (++) added to them to signify that they work similarly.

Run screaming through your apartment. That's definitely going to be helpful. Cuckoo +1 (Note: Not picking the floor lamp means you're not picking that +5 physical) Charge around your apartment while screaming epithets. You don't know if it'll help anything, but it sure will make you feel better. Cuckoo +1 (Note: This one increases you potty mouth score, which interferes with your purity score, so if you're aiming for Percy, keep that in mind)

Reptilian Eyes.(++) Cuckoo +1 (Note: Does not actually give you reptilian eyes. Or does it? * Side eyes changeling MCs *)

I whip open the closet door with a sudden movement: Doesn't give cuckoo points, but gives access to Cuckoo options. ===…it's been ransacked! Your clothes and shoes are strewn everywhere and- oh, wait, that's how your closet normally looks. Cuckoo +1 ===…there's a great hulking monster inside and it smells like- wait no, that's just your raincoat. Cuckoo +1

I whip open the closet door with a sudden movement. I also yell "HIYAA!" and strike a martial arts pose for the added effect. Cuckoo +1 ===…I said I was going to yell "HIYAA!" and I keep my promises. Cuckoo +1

Clothes:

Depending on your club picks and your character settings, you may get some cuckoo points out of them, though if you follow some restrictions like, say, a mute run, or are achievement hunting, then some combinations may be preferable even if they give less points.

Birthday Suit.(++): Cuckoo +1

Other clothing options also give cuckoo rating during the talk with Adrian before clubtime. The pick that gives the most points here, that I can see, is the Vampire cape (up to +3 points), but here is a list of the other picks and the points they give with the right club options:

Riding club:

Red Cape + Frame = 3 or height = tall: -"Little?" I wonder if Adrian has suddenly gone blind. --"Aye, Aye, fairy godmother." +1 Cuckoo

Vampire Cape: +1 Cuckoo -Strike a stereorypical vampire pose . +1 Cuckoo --"No promises" +1 Cuckoo

Tuxedo: -"Actually, I was planning to wear these clothes during practice." --"It will totally be worth it to see everyone's reaction to me riding around in a tux." +1 Cuckoo

Spandex Tracksuit: -"It's a tracksuit, Adrian. Why would I change my clothes again?" I ask 'innocently'. -- I say nothing, I merely start dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo (and the Keikaku achievement)

Fencing Club:

Vampire Cape: +1 Cuckoo -Strike a stereorypical vampire pose . +1 Cuckoo --"I never bite and tell." +1 Cuckoo --"Lies and Slander!" +1 Cuckoo

Spandex Tracksuit: -I say nothing, I merely start dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo -"I was thinking about wearing this instead of my uniform today." --"If we switched to plastic swords we could totally do naked fencing!" +1 Cuckoo

Favorite Drink:

The fresh blood of virgins. (++) Cuckoo +1 (Note: You can't pick the option if you picked 'Blood' as a fear)

When watching the TV:

If Wildlife Biologist: He was obviously eaten by a giant mutated bear. Case closed. I'm a genius. Cuckoo +1 If NOT a Wildlife Biologist: He was obviously eaten by werewolves. Case closed. I'm a genius. Cuckoo +1

Hobby:

Gadgetry gives the option to gain +1 Cuckoo point if at least Friendly with Adrian (pick 'I asked the magical 8-ball' option when remembering about your first meeting)

Once the phone pick is done, open your status page, scroll down, and select 'Magical grimoire (Phone)' bank-mobile-alert-666: Pick the overly-long reply. You'll know which one it is. Cuckoo +1 Work: Talk about your Theory (Mutant / werewolf / Zombie / Thousand eyes in their throat). Cuckoo +1

Jump up and charge at the glass doors. Cuckoo +1 (Note: You can't pick the option if you picked 'Fear' as a fear)

After the Sin choice:

I whip out a nearby Bible and try to exorcise the monitor with its words. Cuckoo +1

Mask Choice:

Jason Voorhees Pandemic Mask (ie Hockey Mask Style) Cuckoo +1 Plague Doctor Mask. Cuckoo +1

Final notes:

So, I feel a bit weird doing that, but I have to start from somewhere, so here we go! Please take note that the data in this post comes from the game and code from the Public beta build (currently up to Chapter 2-2)

Welcome to Planti's OKS musings! yaaaaaaaay

For now I will focus on the MC's Imposter Secret, seeing as this will be the one thing to bite them in the butt later on if not handled correctly (looking at you here, Liar/Serial killer), this time featuring my observations on the Imposter, my personal favorite due to it being the most 'normal' one of the bunch as well as the potential hilarity of there being two imposters in this van if you add in the saboteur.

Chapter 1, Secret Pick:

Right off the bat, the Imposter Secret possesses some slight flavor text for the Amnesiac and Accident MCs due to their especially nonexistent/painful pasts and memories that they wish to escape. Picking the Imposter Secret gives +5 to the 'social' score, which is fitting seeing as, according to the narration, it was pulled off using exclusively the MC's social abilities and maintained that way.

Breaking down the choices and what they apparently give (since I remember the writer mentionning that they were lying somewhere, no doubt in part to obscure who the other Imposter here is) Here is what we have!

As far as I can tell, only the first two waves of questions have a mechanical impact.

Impactful choice 1:

-I don't even know what I'd been thinking : Bold -2 -I immediately knew exactly what I had to do : Bold +2 -I never intended this. It just sort of... happened : Bold -2, Sweet +2 -It was only meant for a short term lark in the beginning : N/A

Impactful choice 2:

-It's not as if I'm hurting anyone : Optimist +1, Sweet +1, Bold -1 -It's not as if it's possible to steal from the dead : Sass -1, Sweet -1, Bold -1 -It's not as if [The Original] ghost's haunting the world because of this : Optimist -1, Sass +1, Bold -1 -No excuses here. In the end, I wanted to be [Them] and so I became [Them] : Optimist -2, Sweet -2, Bold +5

Additionally, and rather tellingly at that, There are two further direct background interactions with this secret. If one picked the Amnesia Childhood and/or the News Reporter Job, both Lorelei and Gwyneth gain +1/+2 on their sus score.

Now, let us look at that particular data point from another angle: This doesn't trigger if the MC has an abused, abandoned, or accident (now that I think about it, all the childhoods come with an 'a', funny coincidence) childhood and/or stays clear of working as a reporter as an imposter.

This is relevant because of several things:

First, in the Amnesiac background, it is mentionned that there was a national/international media campaign when Amnesiac MC was first found and some more perceptive characters may very well suspect something. However, I find it odd that Cassandra, the literal police detective, isn't the one gaining the sus score here, meaning that even though this point could be a weighting factor, it isnt the determinant one.

Second, the fact that this only triggers in the Amnesiac MC's path as far as childhood goes means the forgotten past of the MC themselves is going to be a 'tell' of their Imposter secret for Lorelei and Gwyneth. Seeing as a bit of code diving gives us that delightful tidbit (set ensorceled true) when we look at the amnesia childhood is also quite interesting, considering Lorelei and Gwyneth aren't, in fact, supposed to be the most magic-sensitive characters.

Gwyneth I can handwave by saying that she's extremely social-specced and could detect that something's off where Cassandra couldn't, but Lorelei doesn't have this excuse, and her behavior of her being extremely prepared/already on the run (apparently there's a 'reason' she'll be one of the later catches?) on top of the very specific requirements for the sus triggers mean that she is the likelier one of the two to have actually known MC in the past.

Chapter 1-5-2:

Most of the flavor text involving the Imposter secret revolves around them taking advantage of situations or doesn't bear any mechanical effects that I can anticipate, except maybe this one:

-For the Smoking-addicted MC who went back to their apartment, it is revealed that the possess another, premium, lighter with what seems to be (unless I'm misreading the narration here) their 'Original' name written on it, the one they had every since they woke up in the desert with amnesia, which is likely to have some rather interesting in light of the Gwyneth/Lorelei possible situation going on.

Chapter 1-6:

Merlin, if they are who they say they are, almost certainly knows the character uses a fake name if a non-mute Imposter MC introduces themselves, though it seems his sus counter only rises when MC deliberately gives them a pseudonym instead. Seeing as they only seem to care about past names and Arthur, they are unlikely to cause trouble unless more people raise up objections (Looking at Gwyneth and lorelei here)

Chapter 2-2:

Imposter secret comes back to bite you in the butt! This time with those two options during the talk about your addiction:

-"Well actually..." I launch into a long retelling of my life story : Adrian Sus +1 If Amnesiac, Imposter and Merlin doesn't know who your past self is: Merlin Sus +1 If Abandoned, Imposter and Merlin doesn't know who your past self is: Merlin Sus +1

-I hand over a thick printed booklet of my life story that I carry around for times just like this. Adrian Sus +1

The reasons for this are fairly obvious, Adrian almost certainly looked into the MC's past, and the discrepancies are beginning to pop up. Beign an imposter is a secret that only really holds as long as people don't know enough about MC to be able to call them out on their lie. The more info MC gives, the weaker their secrecy becomes, as Adrian oh-so-suspiciously put it 'keep it simple' (so says the one most likely to be a fellow imposter secret holder). As for Merlin, the Amnesia incident reeks of magic interference, and the Abandoned one is also pretty suspicious, but seeing as those only trigger suspicion when MC is an Imposter mean that Merlin possesses some level of awareness of the nature of MC's lie.

It's the little things, but considering Book 1 lasts, what, two weeks? Those little things may very well begin to pile up.

The last thing is the TV incident in the shop if MC decides to go there early. If they are an imposter, the TV will show the 'real' owner of the name MC has lived with, which is pretty damning insofar that this means the demons are aware of MC's secret and in turn, so would the Saboteur, which is something they will definitely use against them.

Final thoughts:

As far as secrets go, by itself Imposter seems fairly benign. It looks pretty easy to at least mitigate the negative side effects by revealing your Camelot identity to Merlin and Arthur and having a good relationship with Adrian, and just not being a complete jerk as well as keeping the work on that high social, since this is likely to be the relevant stat checked when the secret is out.