holy shit

*halfway into sex with a clown girl* you know when you said you wanted to give me a creampie i did think you maybe meant like, a funny pie in the face, as like a whole bit with the clown thing and like oh unexpected twist kind of gag for a second but this is okay too. Also Is there like an actual clown college that you have to go to or is that just an urban myth

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

Youre a mollusk and something potentially bad or scary gets inside you what do you do. Make a pearl around it. Okay. okay

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

so you're telling me the fifa world cup is all men? its all men's teams? and so is the superbowl? and all the sports teams that states are known for and make copious amounts of merch for are also men's teams? and only 5 women have ever entered formula one since its inception in 1950 and only two of them were able to compete? and this is normal? its acceptable?

you actually feel gaslit when you try to tell white people of a certain age that pewdiepie, with a platform so vast and catering to youth, helped reinvigorate racism and casual dehumanization towards indians because they get all “omg you can’t blame One man for that” like yes i can actually :) we were very incrementally making our way past the gas station indian popularized by apu and indian creatives were finally being given legitimate and serious opportunities (like say what you will about aziz and mindy in hindsight but at the time that was a shift culturally) only for this dumb swedish pig to get online and spark that vile shit right back up. ask any indian with a modicum of pride in their heritage and they can tell you how uncomfortable pewdiepie made us with ourselves

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

wgats up everyone it's the officiaol, frito lays company representenetive here to tell you that the company officially condones and endorses murder in all instances no matter what, and this is the official belief held by the company. so just keep that in mind. we also condone everuthing else that's bad too

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.