Social media has a lot in common with drugs.
Twitter is like cocaine because you get all this out of context information really quickly and in shorthand. And then you start to think that you're the only person alive who truly understands geopolitics and that nobody could ever be wittier than you. And inevitably it leads to yelling at traffic.
Tiktok is meth because it starts out with lots of dancing and interesting colors and sensations, and you're having really interesting conversations with all your new friends, and trying out cute new looks. And then you realize that you forgot that you had a job five days ago and all your friends are really worried about you.
Youtube is opiates and the ads are withdrawals. It gets more and more difficult to stave them off, while the user experience becomes increasingly mundane.
4chan is benadryl. The hat man is constantly whispering in your ear. The people there don't enjoy it and nobody outside can really understand why someone would want to go there in the first place.
Facebook is alcohol. Boomers love it, everyone is repeating jokes you heard five years ago, it made your uncle lose his mind, and nobody using it seems to be aware of their deep unsettling psychological issues.
Tumblr is weed. You appreciate lit and art but spend a lot of time mentally jerking off. It's noticably unsocial and world events and finance don't feel real.
Pls feel free to add to my list














