poseidon: LOOK AT HIM GO! HAHA LOOK LOOK LOOK HE JUST DROWNED THAT ENTIRE ARMY OF MONSTERS

zeus: that’s not-

poseidon: OMG LOOK HES CAUSING A LITTLE EARTHQUAKE NOW! YES! GOOD! NOW USE YOUR SWORD TO- YES THATS IT SON!!

zeus:

poseidon: DROWN THEM ALL!! SHAKE THE GROUND!! FLOOD THE WHOLE AREA!! SINK IT TILL IT’S GONE!!

zeus: brother you need to-

poseidon: you’re just jealous.

zeus:

poseidon: he’s wonderful.

zeus: he’s-

zeus:

zeus: is he… doing the macarena?

poseidon: yes

poseidon: he likes to get on the nerves of his enemies. he also is physically incapable of staying serious for too long

zeus:

that said, you cannot convince me otherwise that at some point, probably soon after moving to new rome, percy gets into a screaming match with mr. and mrs. chase about how they treated annabeth. and he absolutely blows out the pipes of every house within a mile radius.

not because annabeth needs him to fight her battles. not because percy thinks he has to fight annabeth’s battles. but because he can’t even begin to grasp how someone could treat a child - their own child - like they treated annabeth. the man who was raised by sally jackson cannot even begin to fathom how they blamed their child for the danger that followed her, and then gaslit her when she went to them for help. he can’t even begin to understand how they put her brothers before her, because now that he has his own little sister, his mom has never been more clear about how much she loves him.

he’s gonna lose his shit.

(“what kind of father doesn’t do everything in his power to protect this child?” “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t sign up for it. it’s your fucking job.” “what kind of monster encourages her husband to turn his back on his 5 year old daughter?” “yeah you didn’t choose to have a child, but she didn’t choose to be born!” “what? did you hear that demigods don’t have long lifespans and were just waiting for her funeral so you could get on with your lives?” “what kind of parents make it clear to their daughter that their new babies are the priority? that she’s a danger to them? that they are more important?” “would you fall into hell to save her?… if your immediate answer isn’t yes, then making you a father was the dumbest thing athena ever did.” “she was a scared little kid. you were supposed to protect her.”)

the minute they try to defend themselves, the chases are getting soaked. and part of that is from peeing their pants with fear becasue we all know how terrifying percy is when he’s angry. and nothing makes him angrier than someone who’s hurt the girl, the woman, who is his entire world.

first off, they’re both minors. second, they are actual people, they are not actually percy and annabeth.

grover: huh?

zeus: an eight

Mother of all monsters? Yeah, I’ll bet her kid is the absolute worst

and she knows it

and you can try saying that any of them didnt so before anyone tries:

-annabeth in the WHOLE of house of hades

-frank with his fire stick of death

-nico thought he was the loose end no one would try to protect in battle and shadowtravelling with the athena statue

-percy and jason both couldnt remember important bits so thought they would miss something and get everyone killed

-hazel thought she would literally curse someone BY ACCIDENT

-piper always accidentally using charmspeak on gods, putting her and everyone else at risk

-special mention for reyna because she nearly killed herself giving energy to nico

AGH i will never forgive rick for doing this

edit becasue i forgot leo (forgive me for my crimes it was 2am)