alone

           “Umm... I need to check this out.” You said quietly in the politest tone you could muster in your sleep deprived state of mind.

           The student’s head shot up at your voice, and he met your eyes. His eyes lingered on your face, which was no doubt red and blushed from running, and your hair in messy tangles from the wind. “Sorry.” The boy murmured about his previous inattentiveness, quickly breaking the eye contact and scanned your textbook and student ID card, smooth and efficient. He must have worked here a while, you noted.

           You smiled thankfully as you slid your book into your bag. “Do you have an assignment due tomorrow, too?” you asked, pointing to his textbook.

           He looked down at it, as if he had forgotten what he had in front of him. “Oh,” he cleared his throat. “Yeah. Physics assignment.”

           You sighed in sympathy. “Good luck.” He opened his mouth to seemingly say something, but no sound came out. You began to walk to the ornate doors again, and turned before leaving wish him a good rest of his night. Then, you proceeded to sprint across campus again towards the art building.

           Reunited again with your piece in the studio, you spread your book open on the table next to you and finished typing up the rest of your assignment on your computer. It took all of your strength to resist your eyes from glazing over. Once finished, you stacked everything away again and decided that you had made enough progress tonight on your painting, and headed back to the dorm. You were asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

           -

           Yanan had seen just about every type of student on campus. He saw the pre-med students, the architecture students, the english students, the art students, the science students… He even saw the students who never went to the library and dropped out halfway through the semester. It was the night he was assigned the graveyard shift at the university library, and he was doing his physics assignment. Yanan was a physics major. He liked the certainty of the laws of physics. Nothing ever defied them. He liked rules, stability. He liked to know what was coming.

           He didn’t see you coming, jolting him from his studying reverie, with a quiet and sweet voice. Your cheeks had been flushed pink, and a dab of light blue paint was smeared across your cheekbone. No doubt you were an art student. Yanan had seen plenty of pretty girls walk through this library, but he had never seen someone quite like you. You looked as though you emitted carefree happiness, and a kind of freedom Yanan had never let himself feel. He was envious, but also slightly apprehensive. He had seen you once or twice before, maybe… Possibly laying in the courtyard, soaking up the sun? Showing up in sweats to the dining hall breakfast? He wasn’t sure, but he could sure as hell see you now. He hadn’t been sure if his voice would work when he opened his mouth to answer your simple questions. You had left him with a short farewell. “Have a nice night.” Hardly anyone was that animated to him when he was on the graveyard shift. Most left without speaking a word.

           He watched you, a bit amused, run across campus towards the direction of the art buildings. Maybe he should have told you there was paint on your cheek.

           -

           You came back to the library a few days later to return the art history book. You admired, as you always did before entering, the carving of the wood in the ornate door. You pushed it open then, walking over to the return drop box. You placed the book gently on top of the stack, and proceeded to walk over to the fiction section. You were mildly looking at titles and summaries on the back, when a familiar head of honey hair walked into your aisle, carrying a cart of books to be put away. He didn’t seem to notice you at first. He was lost in thought, looking at the code on the spine of the novel to know where its home was. His tall, slender frame allowed him to reach the highest shelf easily.

           You wondered if you should say hi. You had only spoken to him once, and it was at 1:30 in the morning. He might not have even remembered you. You looked back down at the book in your hands, and shrugged, wondering what the worst thing that could happen. You slid the book back into its place on the shelf, and wandered over to the clerk boy you had seen the other day. “Do you know the Dewey Decimal System by heart?”

           He jolted, almost dropping the book to the floor. His head turned in your direction, his cheeks already flamed up. You leaned against the shelf gently. “I uh…” he stuttered hopelessly. You thought it was cute, seeing him all flustered and shy.

           You saved him from answering, and instead said, “I saw you the other night on the graveyard shift. I’m Y/N.” You grinned, and held out your hand.

           He looked relieved to not have to answer the question about the Dewey Decimal System, and shook your hand. “I’m Yanan.” He smiled shyly.

           “Do you remember me? It’s alright if you don’t.” you asked.

           He faced the bookshelf again, placing the book in his hands back in its place. “No, I remember you. You were hard to forget.” The last sentence seemed to fall out of his mouth, and he looked as though he wished he hadn’t said it.

           You laughed behind your hand quietly. “I must’ve looked crazy. I must have made an impression on everyone who saw me that night.”

           He loosened up and chuckled softly, nodding. He bit his lip, looking as though he wasn’t sure if he should say what he was thinking. “You had blue paint smeared on your cheek.” He noted the memory with a bit of fondness.

           You groaned. “Dammit. I always forget to check for paint before I leave the studio.” You pulled away from the bookshelf. “Next time tell me if I have paint on me.”

           He turned his head towards you again, and with a tone of seriousness, he said, “You actually have some paint on your chin.”

           Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and hurriedly tried to wipe the paint off. Yanan laughed. “Kidding.”

           You rolled your eyes. “Nice one.”

           Yanan was quiet again, methodically shelving books. You decided not to distract him anymore. “Okay, well I’ll leave you to it. Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” You said hopefully. His shyness was somehow endearing, if not amusing, to you.

           “Yeah, maybe I’ll see you in the library again.” He said, matching the same hopeful tone. His honey blonde hair was tousled messily, but it still somehow made him look effortlessly good. A freckle just above his lip moved as he lifted his mouth in a smile. You matched his smile, and turned to move back down the shelf to the book you had put back.

 -       5 Years Later 

Wonwoo had first noticed you when you were Sorted, and he had always seen you in the halls since. He had never plucked up the courage to have a conversation with you. He’d always just subtly watched you during Ravenclaw and Slytherin shared classes. He would glance over at you in Charms, and watched as you conjured up a simple charm that caused a smile to cross your face as your seatmate giggled. Seeing you happy like that somehow warmed his heart.

He wasn’t sure what it was about you, but maybe he was envious of how easy it was for you to be… free. How easy it was for you to be so open about your emotions. Wonwoo always found it hard to let loose, and just laugh. He had friends for sure, and they laughed together, but it only in those secluded situations he could laugh. He didn’t laugh quite as much as you did, so openly. Your eyes lit up, and you looked so happy. Did Wonwoo look happy when he laughed? He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like he was looking in a mirror whenever he laughed.

Maybe he just found you interesting in general. You were beautiful for sure, but not in the way that caused you to be known solely for beauty. You were Ravenclaw after all, you had the brains to match. You weren’t popular, but you had a niche of friends. When Wonwoo couldn’t sleep at night, he would stare up at his curtain of bedsheets and wonder what intrigued him about you so much. It had been five years, and his attention to you had dulled to a feigned interest whenever he saw you. At this point he was used to your presence, and the mix of emotions he felt when he saw. He’d been trying to snap himself out of the habit. But another part of Wonwoo wanted to see you and talk to you and demand why you were so intriguing to him. As if you would know. Wonwoo doubted you knew he existed; he never talked much in class anyway, even though he knew all the answers. He let all the Ravenclaws answer. Some of his Slytherin classmates (like Mingyu) who knew he was actually pretty clever got angry with Wonwoo for not answering questions and giving them house points.

He sat in the Great Hall now, eating breakfast. He could see you down a way at the Ravenclaw table next to your Slytherin table. He could see your hair falling around the white button up they all had to wear, your sweater tied around your waist. It was just becoming fall, so it was becoming quite chilly, but you still had those odd days that were warm, leftover from the summer. Wonwoo leaned his chin into his hand, staring back down at his toast and jam. He had somehow made the unconscious decision that this year would be the year that he would find out what made you so compelling to him. He had enough of sitting around and just wondering. He would have to come out of his shell at least a little bit. He hadn’t the faintest idea how he would even approach you. He swallowed at the thought.

“Wonwoo, what’re you thinking about?” Wonwoo’s best friend Mingyu asked him, clapping him on the shoulder. Wonwoo had yet to tell anyone about you after these five years. It felt like a secret he needed to keep to himself.

“Oh, you know, just a book I need to read…” Wonwoo mused. It wasn’t entirely untrue. Wonwoo did have a significant pile at books sitting on his bedside table he needed to dig into. Wonwoo liked to read.

Most people assumed Wonwoo was a Slytherin at first glance because of his cold outside appearance. Wonwoo only looked cold because he was not as expressive as others. He felt it all on the inside, he just sometimes… forgot he needed to show what he felt. It was easier for him to open up and laugh when he was alone with his friends. He was more interested in being alone, and maybe reading next to the window in the dormitory, or by the lake under a tree. Maybe he was a Slytherin because of his determined attitude towards his work, and close-knit bond towards his friends, and clever way of thinking. He was almost a Ravenclaw that way.

Wonwoo rubbed the back of his neck, flickering his eyes in your direction for a moment, but saw that you were gone.

-

After 5 years of magic teaching, you found yourself in a comfortable spot. Comfortable with your peers, your environment, and your ability to learn magic. You knew yourself as one of those people who preferred familiarity, and by this fifth year, you were exactly that. Familiar.

You knew just about all the faces going down the hall – what house they were in, the group of friends they were in, their strong suits and their weaknesses, you picked up on it all over the years. Your brain analyzed information constantly, and catalogued it. It made you feel a sense of control over yourself, knowing who you were surrounded by. You were no means close with everyone, there were a few people you didn’t know in a school this big.

One person who had always stuck out to you, that you knew nothing about, was someone you had seen the day you had been Sorted. The boy that was Sorted right after you, Jeon Wonwoo. You didn’t pay him too much attention the first year, because of all the new schedules and lifestyles to get used to. By the third year, you always noticed where he was in your Slytherin/Ravenclaw classes. He was a safe distance away that you could glance at him from the corner of your eye without anyone noticing.

Wonwoo was, for lack of a better word, mysterious. He kept to himself. He never talked in class. He listened to what his seatmate Mingyu would lean over and whisper to him, and occasionally he would crack a small smile. It would last only a second, and flutter away. It was a rare occurrence, and when you did see it, you felt something inside you stir. Seeing him smile with his teeth was the rarest occurrence yet. You had only seen it once.

Maybe it was your need to unravel someone so locked up, and to analyze them – but this felt different from anyone else. It wasn’t for the inner analytical side of you. With other people, it was an unconscious habit you had picked up. You just remembered people in those ways. With Wonwoo, you were making a conscious effort to figure out what he was thinking by the way his finger twitched on his quill. You could hardly care what others were thinking, yet you ever so desperately wanted to know what was running around in Wonwoo’s mind.

You couldn’t ever tell if he knew what was happening in class and couldn’t bother to answer, or wasn’t bothering to pay attention at all and was flunking. You never heard him complain, or whoop in delight at his scores. He took all his tests carefully, and turned them in with a composed look on his face. You just wanted to break his façade. You knew there was something else there, you just had to dig down deep to find it.

You thought of a plan in the back of your head, a rather foolish one, as class ended. There was no time to tweak the plan to perfection, because It had to be done now. You took your time packing up your things, after purposefully spilling your notes out of order on the desk so you had to stop and organize them. You had noticed before Wonwoo had always took his time leaving too, he was never in a rush anywhere. You lined up your notes after almost everyone had left, and turned to leave after Wonwoo had turned to the door to leave.

You brushed his shoulder as you headed through the doorway, and dropped your quill and ink, shattering the ink bottle. “Shit,” you muttered, bending down immediately to do a charm to repair the bottle and clean the spilled ink. “Sorry, Wonwoo, did I get any ink on you?” you asked, getting back up, and stuffing your quill and ink into your bag. He looked a little stunned that you were speaking to him. The two of you had never had a conversation before.

He shook his head. “N-no. You didn’t.” His voice was much deeper than you would have imagined it to be. You were caught off guard for a moment, but then registered the tone of his voice in your mind. It was a very distinct, husky tone that made you feel like he was speaking only to you. He looked unsettled, and his eyes were looking either at the wall beside you, your feet, his feet, or above your head.

“Thank god,” you grinned. “I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.” He finally met your eyes as you grinned. You thought you saw the corner of his mouth twitch, but he didn’t smile. “Are you excited for the game tonight? Our houses are facing off!” you asked, searching for a simple conversation. You just wanted to hear him say something else, or smile, or something.

           “I might meet my friends down there.” He admitted after a moment. His deep voice surprised you again. It felt like he was telling you a secret. He shifted the rounded metal frame glasses on his nose. The mention of his friends made you remember his niche. You knew of all those boys (especially the ones that were your fellow housemates), but frustratingly enough, out of that niche, he was the only one you had no clue about.

           You nodded. “I’ll be there too. I have friends on both teams I have to go support. Maybe I’ll see you there?” you said hopefully at the end.

           You thought you saw him swallow. “Maybe,” he agreed. He was searching your face and expression, shifting from one foot to another like he was shy or uncomfortable, but he didn’t look like he wanted you to leave. It was curious.

           “Okay well, promise me you won’t rub it in my face if Slytherin wins, and I won’t rub it in your face if Ravenclaw wins.”

           He looked surprised. “I would never rub that in your face.”

           His honest reply caught you off guard. You blinked a few times, and then pulled your hair around your ears, to fix the fiddling of your fingers at your sudden shyness. “I-I know. You don’t seem the type to do that. I was kidding.“ It was your turn to be slightly bashful now. Wonwoo didn’t seem to notice that his honest comment had surprised you. Normally you were on the side of confidence – you trusted your knowledge, but he had just thrown you off your guard.

           He searched for something else to say, and as he opened his mouth, one of his friends, Soonyoung, was yelling his name from across the hall, and running towards him. “I’ll, uh, see you later, Wonwoo.” You said, eyeing Soonyoung warily, and turning to walk away.

           “Bye,” Wonwoo said hoarsely after you quietly.

           You shook your head as you walked, going over the conversation in your head again and again. You thought about the way his mouth had twitched. The way his hair was falling over his forehead. You nulled over his simple responses, trying to unravel them. You pushed your sleeves up, going back to your dormitory.

           - 

           Wonwoo was in shock. He had just had his first conversation with you, and he had not expected it at all. He was surprised you had known his name. You caught him off guard in every aspect. You were someone to get used to, as you were quite different from all his friends. But that wasn’t bad, it just kept him wanting to see you more, and learn about all your little habits and quirks that made you so different.

           Wonwoo tried to keep up with what Soonyoung was saying, but all he could think about was your voice in his mind.

           “Wonwoo, you’re going to the game, right? Wonwoo? We have to support Mingyu on the field.” Soonyoung groaned, shaking his shoulder. Wonwoo snapped out of his reverie.

           “Yeah, of course I am. I wouldn’t miss a game with you guys. Mingyu would skin me if I missed a game of his.” Wonwoo wouldn’t admit he was a bit more excited for this game, for the chance that he might see you again. He was also a bit scared he might see you again; what would he even say to you? Would he doom the conversation with his awkward tendencies?

           “Good,” Soonyoung sighed in relief. “You need a break from all those books.”

           Wonwoo rolled his eyes.

           -

           After classes ended, you hurried down the path to the Quidditch stadium, heart thumping in your chest. You weren’t sure if it was because of the excitement of the game, or the possibility of seeing mystery man Wonwoo that was skyrocketing your heartrate up.

           You thought that maybe after talking to Wonwoo once or twice, it would solve your curiosity, but so far, your curiosity was far from being cured. You just wanted to know him, genuinely.

           Your long walk was yet from being over as you approached the stadium, starting your descent up the many cases of stairs to the seats. You held your sketchbook tightly in your hand, knowing you might sketch at the lake after the game like you often did. After finding your friends, you sat down, tossing your Ravenclaw scarf over your shoulder. You looked down at the field, watching the players congregate. You waved to your friend on the Ravenclaw team, and then waved at your friend on the Slytherin team.

           About halfway through the game, when you glanced up at chance, you spotted him in the crowd, but mostly because his niche was a sight to see. After spotting Soonyoung’s dancing and cheering figure, you saw Wonwoo sitting next to him, looking on the game with a faraway interest. The little voice in your mind noticed he looked cute, his Slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck as the fall breeze blew all around him, his hair whipping across his face in what seemed like slow motion, his glasses set low on his nose. He looked so tiny. You sighed, forcing your gaze to rip away. Why would you notice those things about him?

           As the game ended, you were whooping in glee, absorbed in the game as your friend on the Ravenclaw swooped in to grab the snitch and snag the game in favor for Ravenclaw. She always approached games with a calm and collected mindset, and analyzed the game in amazing ways while searching for the snitch.

           You didn’t like big crowds, so you left before everyone started piling out, headed towards the lake with your sketchbook in your hands. You sat down against the trunk of a big tree, and pulled your pencil out of the pocket of your robe. You stared at the blank paper aimlessly. You decided instead on sketching some of the merpeople sitting just below the surface of the lake, watching everyone leave the stadium. A sudden gasp of, “Oh!” surprised you, causing you to jolt and drop your sketchbook, hand over your chest. You glanced around at the source of the sound, finding Wonwoo standing twenty feet away, a book in his hands.

           “You surprised me.” You said, voice a bit higher than usual from surprise. He scratched the back of his neck. “Do you come here after games too?”

           “I come here to read sometimes.” Wonwoo admitted. That was something you didn’t know about him. He liked to read…

           “Well, here, come sit. The tree is big enough for the both of us.” You said gently. You were afraid he might fly away if you made any sudden moves.

Wonwoo seemed to think about it for a moment, and then gave in and sat down next to you, though keeping a safe distance. He held the book over his knees. He seemed to tower over you, even when you two were sitting. You picked your sketchbook off the ground, and frowned slightly at the now stained paper, and dusted off the grass and dirt. You sighed, placing the sketchbook back on your knees. It wasn’t an amazing sketch, but you were disappointed to see it ruined.

           “Oh no,” Wonwoo suddenly said, glancing at your stained drawing. “Did that happen when you dropped it?” he pulled his wand out of his pocket. “Here, I use this charm a lot to clean the pages of my books after spilling coffee on them.” He motioned to your paper. “Do you mind?”

           “No, go ahead.” You said, slightly in shock. You were used to few word, emotionless responses from him. You could feel the remorse in his voice at the sight of your ruined sketch. He murmured out a spell, and you watched the stain slowly sink back, and disappear, leaving your drawing intact as it was before. “Wow, thanks Wonwoo!” you smiled thankfully, looking up at him. It took him a moment, but he slowly matched your smile with a small grin, and said back a you’re welcome quietly. You felt your heart hammering in your chest at the sight of his grin.

           You looked down at your sketch, grinning slightly to yourself. Your pencil scratched across the paper again, and you heard the sound of the pages of Wonwoo’s book rustling as he opened to the page where he last left off. The two of you sat in silence for a while, just the sounds of pencil and paper breaking the silence. You were afraid to ask him about himself, in case he might clam up and not mutter a word. You weren’t sure where the lines were here, yet. Right now, you were acquaintances. Classmates.

           The only thing you managed to ask Wonwoo was what book he was reading. When the sun started to set, you gathered your things. Wonwoo closed his book, and stared at the setting sun over the lake. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, and saw his expression. It wasn’t emotionless per se, it was… peaceful.

           Sitting like this, you suddenly realized, you did know him a bit better than you thought. His quietness was not a lack of knowing him, it was everything about him. It was a huge part of his personality. You just had to figure out why he was so quiet.

           You reluctantly got up, put your sketchbook under your arm, and dusted the dirt off your robe halfheartedly. “I should get back before it’s dark.” You explained. “I hope I see you around again, Wonwoo.” You said tentatively.

           He got up after your words, and gently took your book from your arm, and stacking it under his. “I’ll walk you back to the castle, Y/N.” His deep voice was shy, and unsure what you would say.

           “Oh,” you blinked, surprised. “Thanks, Wonwoo.” It was the first time you had heard him call you by your name. Your name felt different on his lips, but you couldn’t put your finger on what it was.

           You wordlessly walked back to the castle, trudging up the long path. You weren’t sure what to do with your hands, without your sketchbook in them. You stuck them in the pockets of your robe instead. The two of you got into the castle, and stopped right before you had to part ways. You had to go up to the Ravenclaw tower, and Wonwoo would have to retreat to the Slytherin dungeon. Wonwoo handed you your sketchbook wordlessly, and nodded in your direction before heading down the stairs.

           You watched him retreat a bit breathlessly. You shook your head, and headed up to the tower, words spinning in your head. When you got back to your dorm, you pushed aside your cluttered thoughts to congratulate your friend who had caught the snitch. She was beaming with excitement. As you slumped back to your bed, you drew the curtains around you, just wanting to be alone.

           -

           Wonwoo’s hands were shaking as soon as he turned his back on you and headed to the Slytherin dungeon. When he sat down in one of the big armchairs, he stared aimlessly into the flames, book sitting haphazardly on his lap. His mind was whirring like gears. He was breaking down your responses, and actions like clockwork. What was it about you? He pulled the scarf from his neck harshly, slightly frustrated.

           Someone came into view next to him. He looked up to see Minghao sliding calmly into the nearest armchair, one earbud in his ear, the other falling over his shoulder. Minghao was one person he felt comfortable around, not pressured to blab on about something just to fill the silence. Minghao stared at the fireplace and Wonwoo followed his gaze back to the flickering bursts of red and orange color, occasionally turning green to support the house color. Wonwoo wished it would stay red and orange. The green looked too unnatural and harsh in the cold dungeon.

           “Do you want to talk about it?” Minghao asked simply.

           Wonwoo rubbed his finger on his lip, contemplating if it would be nice to spill your existence to someone else after all these years. Minghao wasn’t one to blab. But, Wonwoo also didn’t know what he would say. It almost sounded creepy, and aimless. He just watched you for five years, and didn’t have the courage to say anything, and now you’ve had your first conversation? “Not now.” Wonwoo finally said. He knew it would have to come out eventually, but Wonwoo would rather have a better grasp on things before the words left the safe place of his mind. It would feel too real if it was spoken aloud.

           - 

           A few days after the Slytherin/Ravenclaw Quidditch match, you were hurrying to finish an essay for your History of Magic class over merpeople. You had a textbook to help, but you figured sitting by the merpeople at the lake might give you some inspiration and help. You walked down to the lake, to sit at the trunk of your favorite willow tree. As you got closer to the tree you gasped quietly in shock, as having found him napping under the willow tree, shade falling over his face. Wonwoo was asleep in the afternoon sun. You ingrained the image in your mind, for lack of a camera. He didn’t look so cold, sleeping like this. He didn’t have his walls up. His face was slack, lips slightly parted, glasses askew on his nose. He sensed someone in front of him, and jolted out of his nap. He was surprised to see you, but after seeing your weak wave, he recovered his shocked expression to emotionless and cold again. You were slightly hurt at the cold look on his face, when he suddenly moved his bag wordlessly and waved at the ground next to him, a sign you took for sitting next to him. He didn’t object when you sat down next to him and pulled out the merpeople essay you needed to write. He gave you the quiet and peace you needed to get to work. You glanced over at him again after writing for a good hour, and saw him lightly snoozing again. You smiled to yourself, and turned back to the essay. A feeling in your chest made your heart ache, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Familiarity?

The two of you continued to meet by that willow tree in front of the lake again and again. You were meeting there by chance first, and the two of you sat side by side under the tree, either reading, drawing, or doing homework. Some small talk had been made. You did most of the talking. You tried to not talk too much, because you enjoyed your peace and quiet too, but there were some days when you couldn’t help but complain about homework or gush about a book you were reading. He wouldn’t talk much, but the look on his face when he listened to you made you know he was listening very intently, taking every word in. Some days when the two of you met, you didn’t have anything to do, so you sat in silence and you filled the empty silence with a light conversation. The two of you sat about a foot away from each other in the beginning, but it had gradually turned into half a foot. Wonwoo wouldn’t reach much closer than that. It began a habit, where you two had wordlessly agreed to meet on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday evenings.

           One Wednesday evening, a few weeks into meeting Wonwoo under this willow tree, you built up the courage to ask him something. “Wonwoo,” you said, breaking the comfortable and familiar silence. He hummed out a “Hmm?” quietly, not looking up from his book.  

           Your heart was thumping. All you wanted to do was ask him a simple question, that might tell you something about him, but it was spiraling you into anxiety in fear that you might be rejected. “Why do you never talk in class? From what I can tell, you know what you’re doing.” You asked, trying to calm your racing heart.

           He paused, trying to string together an answer. He looked up to stare across the lake. “I don’t talk much in general. Even when I’m with my friends, they do most of the talking. I just listen.” He squinted against the suddenly bright sun and scrunched his nose up. The sun fell back behind the clouds as quickly as it came out behind them. He glanced back down at the pages of his book. “I don’t feel a need to prove my worth in front of others. The professor knows that I do well, and that’s what matters to me.” He said quietly.

           You were relieved he had opened up a bit to you. But, you couldn’t help but wonder if that was a jab at you, for answering questions in class. Did you have a need to prove yourself to others? You pondered on it. It had just seemed like a simple thing to do. If you know the answer, raise your hand. You never felt like you were doing it to show others you were smart. You were in Ravenclaw for a reason. Right? You scratched your chin worriedly, wondering if others saw you as a goody-two-shoes Ravenclaw who just wants to prove they’re a smart ass. That’s how most people portrayed Ravenclaw, anyway. Every house has their stereotype. You sighed inaudibly, trying to diffuse the sudden self-conscious flood of thoughts. You fiddled with your shoelaces, trying not to show the slight hurt you felt at his probable unintentional jab.

           He might have sensed your hurt at your bowed head, because he added, “Sometimes I wish I had the confidence to raise my hand sometimes, like you do. I’ve spent five years not talking in class, it’s hard to break the habit now.” That made you feel a little better.

           “Are you not confident?” You asked, not daring to peek up at him, and instead retying your shoelace.

           “I’m confident on my own. I don’t know how to be confident in front of others. They don’t know me like I know me.” He sighed, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. He was revealing more about himself in the span of five minutes than he had in the weeks you had been noncommittally hanging out.

           “Maybe that’s because you don’t let people get to know you.” You said without thinking. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. You waited for him to say something, and he didn’t. You bit your lip and shut your eyes tight at his silence. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

           “No, you’re right.” Wonwoo said, stopping you. You willed yourself to look at him. He was staring out at the lake, watching various fish pop out of the water, only to be snatched by something and drug back under. “I make it hard for people to get to know me. I know that. It’s just not my personality to be social and friendly.”

           “What about your group of friends? Are you open with them?” you asked curiously.

           “My friends…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “It depends on the person, and the situation. On better days, I find myself laughing freely and being talkative. On days when I want to be alone, I just listen.”

           You nodded, looking back down at your essay. “Are there days when we meet up that you just want to be alone? Is that why you just listen?”

Wonwoo shook his head. “You don’t pester and annoy me like Soonyoung or Mingyu does. You’re just…” he searched for the right word. “Nice to be around.” He finished, blushing softly. You tried to hide your small grin by scratching your nose. So, you didn’t annoy him. That was comforting.

You weren’t sure if you could push any further with Wonwoo tonight, but you decided to ask him one more question. “Wonwoo, are we friends?” you asked, setting down your quill and looking his way.

           He looked surprised at your question, and stared at the grass for a moment before meeting your eyes. “I suppose we are,” Wonwoo paused briefly. “Friends.” He looked away again. He could barely look you in the eyes for longer than a few seconds.

           You nodded, and picking up your quill again to scratch out a few more sentences on your homework. Nothing else needed to be said. 

           -

           Wonwoo found himself looking forward to the evenings when the two of you met. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he would ever figure out why you were so interesting, but he did know that for some reason, he enjoyed hearing you speak in your soft tone, when you did break the silence. Wonwoo could tell you were afraid to ask him things. That made him sort of sad, but he didn’t blame you. Wonwoo hadn’t opened up to anyone outside his friends in a long time. His cold appearance didn’t help anything.

           Wonwoo found it easier to open up to you, slowly, piece by piece. You didn’t rush him, and he appreciated it more than he could put into words. He wasn’t sure where it would lead to, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. For now, you were friends.

           He picked at his oatmeal, while Mingyu sat silently next to him, reading the paper. “So, when are you going to tell me what’s been going on with you?” Mingyu asked.  Wonwoo looked up at him in alarm. Mingyu sighed. “I’m your best friend. I know you better than anyone. You think I haven’t noticed you sneaking off in the evenings? You think I haven’t known about that girl since fourth year?”

           Wonwoo gasped. “What?” He knew about you for a whole year? And didn’t say anything?

           Mingyu shook his head. “I was waiting for you to tell me about it before I said anything, but you’re clearly talking to her now after all these years. I  can’t stand you not telling me about it. It’s gotta be eating you up inside, I know you.”

           Wonwoo stared at him in shock. “I- how did you- what?” He sputtered. His cheeks were flaming.

           “None of the other guys have noticed, don’t worry.” Wonwoo calmed down slightly. “I just started noticing here and there during third year that you would look over at her during class. You never spoke a word to her, but you never payed anyone attention like you payed attention to her. It was very subtle, though. It took me ‘till fourth year to realize after that.” Wonwoo bored holes into his breakfast in embarrassment. Mingyu folded the paper up, setting it on the table. He placed his hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder in familiar reassurance. “What’s going on, Wonwoo?”

           Wonwoo sighed heavily, giving up. He murmured out everything quietly to Mingyu, words spilling out like vomit. He had been dying to tell someone, without realizing it. Mingyu nodded and stayed quiet, for once not teasing him. Mingyu did know him better than anyone else. He could tell you were important to him, for some reason. It was rare to see Wonwoo opening up to others, and he was opening up to you, which was saying something. Mingyu knew that. After everything had been said, Mingyu chuckled. “I knew you were dying to get it off your chest.” Wonwoo could tell Mingyu had a million things to say, but he was keeping them to himself.

           “Just don’t tell the guys, okay?”

           Mingyu rolled his eyes. “I won’t, I promise.”

           “I’ll jinx your legs together if you do.” Wonwoo paused. “If you say anything to them…”

           “Wonwoo, I won’t.”

           “…Okay.”

           -

           You were hard at work studying for an upcoming exam in the library. You were attempting to stuff as many facts into your head as you possibly could, poring over your textbooks. You’d made a mental note to go out to the willow tree at 4:30, to say hello briefly. You weren’t sure how much longer you and Wonwoo would continue to meet outside; the air was getting frigid, and the wind biting. But you also couldn’t imagine meeting him anywhere else. The willow tree was private. You didn’t have to sit under the prying eyes of your peers. If you and Wonwoo had to start meeting in the school, you weren’t even sure if Wonwoo would want to, in front of all his schoolmates. He was a private person. You stared out the window, trying to get the willow tree in view.

           Your thoughts were silenced when a familiar figure set his books down in front of you. Wonwoo wordlessly spread his books out, and began studying for his exam. You realized it was the same exam you were studying for. You were amazed at how he seemed to figure out you were here. And he looked around for you at the tables, too. And just like that, the setting changed from the willow tree to the library. It was peaceful at first, but you couldn’t talk in the library, or the librarian would stare daggers into you. After a few short quiet weeks of the library, you couldn’t stand it much longer began to search for a new spot. Silence with Wonwoo made it feel like he might be drifting from you again. You needed to be able to speak to him a little, at least. The common room in your dorm would be the ideal spot, but Wonwoo wasn’t a Ravenclaw. That’s when it suddenly hit you. Only a few really knew about it, but after doing some extensive research on Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement came to your knowledge. You had visited it once, but hadn’t needed anything from it after that. Now, you needed it.

           One day when you and Wonwoo were leaving the library, you tugged at Wonwoo’s elbow. He jerked in surprise, but allowed you to pull him in the direction of the Room of Requirement. “Where are we going?” He asked, after you had released his elbow and he followed beside you obediently.

           “Somewhere we can meet other than in silence the library.”

           He raised his eyebrows slightly in interest. When you arrived, you gestured to the blank wall. “The Room of Requirement.” He looked at the blank wall, and back at you, clearly confused. You laughed quietly behind your hand, before explaining the room.  You paced in front of the wall, shutting your eyes and hoping for the door to appear. When you opened your eyes, it was there. You grinned at Wonwoo, who was staring at the door in shock. “Come on,” you said, pulling his elbow again towards the door.

           The room of requirement was set up like a dormitory common room just like you imagined, but there were no house specific colors. Just a loveseat, some armchairs, a warm fireplace, and a window to the outside. The warm was warm, the fire casting shadows around the room. A bookshelf was sitting snug against the wall. A table with a chess board on it sat under the window, two seats opposite of each other.

           “This is… amazing?” Wonwoo’s voice tilted up in a question. “I never knew this existed!” he looked amazed, and a little excited, like a little kid. Your heart warmed.

           “I haven’t had a need for it, until now.” You admitted shyly. Wonwoo wasn’t fazed by your shy confession, he was staring at the room in awe. “Well, I actually have to go. I promised my friend I would help her for the test tomorrow. I’ll see you soon.”

           Wonwoo looked back at you and nodded, waving his hand in a goodbye. You waved back, before slipping through the door and back up to your dormitory.

           -

           Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he would be able to open up the Room himself the next time he came by, or if it would look like the same room, but he managed to open it up without error. He waited in one of the armchairs in front of the fire, thinking about how much warmer this common room was compared to his down in the dungeons. He wondered if this was how the other common rooms were, and felt a bit scammed.

           He jumped when the door suddenly opened, but played it off and stared down at the open book in his lap. Your steps in the room first sounded hesitant, but then became more confident. He wondered if you were still uneasy, but masking it with a sense of false confidence. You sat down in the other armchair, huffing out a breath. “It’s a hike here.” You said. The loveseat sat silently between the armchairs, unoccupied, seeming enormously large. It was like the room was teasing you.

           Wonwoo cracked a smile, but didn’t look up. He could feel your anxiousness. This room was small and cozy, just for the two of you. It was more secluded and private than the willow tree and the library, and it was personal. It was a new dynamic on your relationship, almost. He would have to say or do something to lighten up the atmosphere for your nervousness. He was a bit nervous, himself. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t.

           “Everything is a hike for me from the dungeon.” He glanced up at you. You seemed to sink into the cushions in relief at his mildly friendly and open tone.

           “How is the dungeon anyway? Isn’t it cold? I’ve always wondered.” You asked. Wonwoo realized how much he had missed listening to your voice and always tentative questions, after two weeks of sitting in silence in the library.

           Wonwoo shut his book, and crossed his leg. “Not really. Not physically, anyway. Sometimes the atmosphere of people is cold. The way the room is set up doesn’t feel too warm either. Whenever the fires turn green it feels cold to me too.”

           His last sentence caught your attention. “Your guys’ fires are green?”

           Wonwoo grimaced. “Only sometimes. I don’t like it. It’s too unnatural.”

           You shook your head in disbelief. Wonwoo could feel a smile tugging at his lips, amused at your shock. “Well, it is Hogwarts, I suppose. Can’t rule anything out. Not even green fireplaces.” You paused, realizing something. “What the hell, I wish our fireplaces were blue or something. I mean, fire can be naturally blue sometimes if it gets too hot, but that’s not the same.” You whined.

           At your words, the fireplace in the Room of Requirement burned up into blue, casting a blue tint over the room. You both stared at the fireplace in shock, until you erupted into never ending giggles. Wonwoo smiled, until he found himself giggling quietly with you. Your laugh was infectious. Wonwoo could tell you were surprised to hear his laugh, but you didn’t comment on it. You both just let the quiet laughter flow freely. “I guess you’re right, it is kinda unnatural. We both look like Smurfs now with the blue reflecting on us.” You said, rubbing your chin.

           This comment caused a loud laugh to boom from Wonwoo, something he hadn’t heard in a long time. His nose scrunched up, and his eyes squeezed tight. The feeling was indescribable. Warmth spread from his chest to his fingertips and toes, and a tingle went down his spine, feeling your gaze on him. Wonwoo felt it. He felt free. He felt happy, just in this small moment.

           The room fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound being the now corrected red flames cracking through the logs. Wonwoo sighed, the feeling slipping away as quickly as it came. Eventually, you both pulled out your materials again, one of you reading and one of you drawing.

           Wonwoo paused after around an hour of quiet work, and glanced your way. You were sitting sideways on the armchair, legs over the side, facing your way. You were scribbling onto the paper, eyes darting all around the paper. “What are you drawing?” Wonwoo asked. He hadn’t asked you that yet, after all this time. Most of the time he could see what you were drawing, but he couldn’t see what was on your paper now.

           Your cheeks flared up in red. “It’s nothing.”

           Your flustered appearance sparked curiosity in him. “What is it?” He asked again, standing up a little to see what was on your paper. You clutched it close to your chest. You looked a little alarmed, like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have. Wonwoo got up walk to you, reaching over to try to make a grab for the sketchbook.

           You gasped in shock, swinging your legs over the side and jumping up, sketchbook close to your chest. “Never try to grab someone’s sketchbook, Wonwoo!” You looked panicked, like this action was something that hit a little close to home.

           Wonwoo immediately felt guilty. He hung his head, and sat in the nearest seat, which happened to be the loveseat. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just always like to see what you’re doing. You’re very talented.” He said honestly. He pushed his hair off his forehead in frustration. His words never came out like he wanted them to.

           You softened up, loosening your stunned pose. You shifted on your feet, biting your lip as you considered something. “It’s embarrassing.” You said finally, exasperated.

           Wonwoo shook his head. “I wouldn’t think that.” You looked unconvinced. “Please? You don’t have to show me, but I would like to see it. If you’re okay with it.” He said carefully.

           You groaned. “Okay, fine. Just don’t make fun of me, please.”

           Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “Have I ever made fun of you?”

           “Um, yeah. Remember when I didn’t realize I had gotten jam all over my shirt?”

           “Okay, but other than that-”

           You put your hand on your hip, taking on a pose of power. “The more you open up to me, the more you make fun of me!” you tried to act angry, but at this point of your friendship, Wonwoo knew you weren’t. Your smile cracked through your fake frown.

           “Don’t pretend like you don’t make fun of me too!” Wonwoo said, wagging a finger at you. The fun teasing was easy, and eased the awkward tension in the room that was there when you both first entered.

           You pursed your lips, suddenly at a loss for words. “Okay, we’re even I guess.” You allowed yourself to sit in the armchair by Wonwoo, who was perched at the edge of the loveseat. Wonwoo watched you carefully. Your cheeks were slightly flushed from that sudden outburst, and your hair styled away from your face, behind your ears, so he could see the red tips of your ears from your embarrassment. Your school robe was draped on the back of the armchair, and one of your socks was falling down. He wanted to tell you, but he couldn’t find the words.

           You sighed once more, and met Wonwoo’s eyes. His heartbeat quickened at the captivating color of your eyes shyly meeting his. Usually you were so confident, and strong. Sometimes it was intimidating. It didn’t set him off, just… made him shyer, because he didn’t know how to match your confidence. Seeing you shy made Wonwoo feel you were more on his level. You weren’t as grown up as you made yourself seem.  “Well, I wanted to do some figure practice, so I needed something to model off of.” Wonwoo was confused. What was embarrassing about that? “But, you were the only figure in the room so…” your voice trailed off quietly. “I was drawing you.” You admitted.

           Wonwoo blinked a few times, processing what you had said. You were drawing… him? You shyly lifted the sketchbook away from your chest, and handed it to him. Wonwoo took it from you with ever so slightly shaking hands. His eyes poured over the drawing, taking in every detail. He was in awe. Some parts were not as detailed, but special attention was put to the features on his face, such as the set of his lips and his glasses on his nose. Wonwoo brushed the smooth paper very softly with his thumb. He looked up at you. You were staring pointedly at your hands sitting in your lap, limp.

           Every fiber in his body drew his hand to grab yours, gently. You jumped at the sudden- and first- hand contact. You stared down at his hand over yours before glancing up at the sound of his voice. “Y/N, how could you be embarrassed to show me this? It’s so amazing. It looks just like me.” You seemed to relax, and Wonwoo realized his hand was still over yours. He withdrew it, his turn to be embarrassed. He handed the sketchbook back to you.

           “I dunno it just feels… personal.” You said, biting your thumb nail.

           “We’re close friends, aren’t we?” Wonwoo countered.

           “I guess you’re right.” You admitted. You stared holes into the drawing. “Are you sure it looks like you? I can’t seem to get your nose right. Also, your hands look too big on the book…” you mused.

           Wonwoo chuckled. “I have big hands, it’s probably accurate.” He held up his hands. “See?”

           “Woah,” you said, examining his hands. “I guess the proportions are right then.” You mused. Wonwoo realized he was still sitting on the edge of the loveseat, very close to your armchair. He got up to retreat back to his armchair and pick up his book. It was a habit, to keep a distance. He almost couldn’t believe he had grabbed your hand in reassurance. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held someone’s hand.

           As Wonwoo opened his book again, he sensed you ducking down to overanalyze your drawing. “Don’t be too critical of yourself. It looks great.” He paused. “Also, I don’t mind if you need to use me for figure practice again. You won’t embarrass me.” He said nonchalantly as he flipped a page in his book.

           Wonwoo saw you grinning in his direction from the corner of his eyes in thanks.

           -

           As much as you began to love being around Wonwoo, you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Yes, he had opened up to you, but ever so slightly. You were one of the only friends he had out of his friend group, you knew. But you couldn’t ever get rid of the sinking feeling that you were annoying him. You talked too much, and he didn’t talk much. You knew that just wasn’t his personality, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he just wasn’t comfortable around you and that’s why he wasn’t more animated. After all this time you had spent together, you had wished that he would be comfortable around you. You were sure as hell comfortable around him. Yes, he smiled more, but that rare occurrence of his booming laugh had yet to make an appearance since you heard it for the first time in front of the blue fire. He had almost looked… sad after he laughed like that. You could never forget the way his nose scrunched up, and his eyes squeezed tight as he laughed. After he had let loose for that one moment, you felt like you were seeing his walls slowly come back up. It was so frustrating.

           And, he never talked to you outside the Room. He’d nod in your direction if he passed you on his way to his seat in Charms, but he’d never ask you how your day went. Sometimes you wished that he would ask you about yourself, so you wouldn’t have to feel bad about talking about yourself all the time. At least if he asked, you would know he was interested. You were crossing into dangerous waters, which were full of uncertainty and analyzation. You should’ve just ignored it and took your time to get to know him, but dammit, it had been three months! It was winter now, and a whole season of time had passed while you had tried to get to know him. Yes, you knew his favorite book and that he struggled to express emotion, but what about how his favorite book made him feel? Why does he struggle with expression? Does he know it himself?

           You hugged your scarf closer around your face, the wind biting and rough. The snow was falling slowly, covering the path in front of you in white. The way to Hogsmead was not always easy. All you wanted was a Butterbeer, and to sit in front of the Shrieking Shack and have an existential crisis. You hurried into the Three Broomsticks, and took your time sitting and sipping your Butterbeer. You saw your friend Hani, who slid into the seat next to you and captivated you in conversation. You almost snorted out your Butterbeer when she did her impression of the History of Magic ghost professor.

           After Hani was pulled away by her friends to the candy shop, you went outside to head over to the Shrieking Shack. You walked down the busy street, when some familiar loud booming laughs caught your attention. Wonwoo’s group of friends was talking very animatedly on the street in front of the candy shop. You spotted Wonwoo, and reached up to wave and smile as he looked your way and caught your eyes. As soon as he saw your wave, he turned away immediately, and brought his scarf up higher around his face. He turned to go into the shop, and the others followed him.

           A hot feeling hit your chest, and your fears and anxieties you had been feeling today skyrocketed. He had just ignored you, and gotten away from you as fast as possible. Was he that embarrassed that he was friends with you that his friends couldn’t know about it? You had been friends for a few months now. If he was that embarrassed, why bother being friends with you? You hadn’t really told any of your friends you’d been hanging out with Wonwoo because you knew Wonwoo didn’t like the eye of the public, and him being friends with you might spark an interest in others. You huffed, biting you lip as you forced back the sudden stinging tears. You didn’t care if others were curious, you were proud to be Wonwoo’s friend and to be one of the few people he talked to. You were hurt and angry he didn’t feel the same.

           You hurried away down the path to the Shrieking Shack, needing a place to be alone more than anything else. As you entered through the forest path into the clearing, you muttered out a heating spell to disperse the snow and sat down harshly on the newly cleaned bench. The Shrieking Shack sat lonely out in the distance, snow covering the roof. You at first sat rigid, a hard expression covering your face, staring out at the house. Suddenly, as if a bottle inside of you had burst off its cap, tears were steadily streaming down your face.

           Why did you care so much about Wonwoo? He hardly ever showed you that he really cared about you. You had been shocked to your core when he had grabbed your hand, but he had immediately retreated afterwards, like he regretted doing it. You sniffed loudly, and crossed your arms. Like a little kid, you kicked at the snow and watched it fly, or soak into your jeans. It was cold, but the heat you felt in your face and chest made you feel like you might had been burning.

           You wiped the tears off pathetically, knowing that mascara was smeared under your eyes. You didn’t know a spell for fixing makeup. You let out a small yell in anger, and rubbed under your eyes with your glove, trying to wipe off your mascara. The glove just irritated your skin and just made the skin around your eyes more red. You sighed, giving up, and pulled your hat farther down your face half-heartedly. You got up to the fence, and leaned your arms on it to look down at the landscape. You took off your glove to grab some snow, let it melt in your fingers, and rubbed it under your eye to try one last time to get the mascara off. You didn’t want everyone to know you’d been crying over a guy that didn’t want to admit you existed to others. You felt satisfied the mascara was now gone, but there was no cure for your puffy and red eyes.

           You were finally starting to forget about why you were crying, and just stared upon the Shrieking Shack with a numbness in your toes and fingertips. You had forgotten to pull your glove back on, and your hand was going increasingly numb with the chilly air and snow under your fingers. You sighed, the discomfort becoming a bit too much, and reached for your glove. Your hands found nothing. You looked down in alarm, searching everywhere. It was nowhere to be found. You stomped your feet in frustration, and grabbed your wand.

           “Accio glove!”

           You waited for the material to fly into your hands, but it wasn’t coming. You looked down into the sloped hill of trees below you, and your eye was caught by a material tugging at the branches of a tree. It was your glove, stuck. You groaned. It was lost now. No getting it back. The trees were hopelessly out of reach and your spells weren’t working. You shook your hand out, and blew hot air on it.

           Suddenly, booming voice were entering the clearing behind you. You whipped around in alarm, and saw the people you wanted to see least in this world. Wonwoo’s friends were coming into the clearing, clearly looking to start a snowball fight with one another. Wonwoo didn’t notice you at first, his hands in his pockets and head lowered, watching where he was walking, until one of your fellow Ravenclaws, Jeonghan, shouted out your name enthusiastically, causing Wonwoo’s eyes to shoot in your direction. You smiled as Jeonghan jogged up to you. You could see your other fellow Ravenclaws, Woozi and Seokmin waving to you. You waved back your ungloved hand, which at this point was dully throbbing and bright red. Seokmin was beginning to follow Jeonghan to you. You hoped they wouldn’t notice.

           You really hated that they had to come right now. As Jeonghan came up to you, he laughed, “We were just about to have a snowball fight!” Just as you had expected. “Do you want to join?” As you were about to open your mouth politely decline, he noticed your hand, and your eyes. He looked worried. “Y/N, are you alright?” Seokmin had finally the joined the two of you as Jeonghan spoke his words.

           You stuffed your hand into your pocket. “I’m fine. I lost my glove and I got some snow in my eyes.” The glove part was true, anyway. Seokmin frowned, and pulled your hand out of your pocket. You tried to pull away, but Seokmin pulled his glove off to feel the temperature of your hand. You were sputtering out unconnected sentences and words about how you were fine and you needed to get going. You could feel Wonwoo’s eyes on you, and you didn’t want to look at him. You didn’t need this attention from anyone right now.

           Seokmin gasped in shock at your cold hand. “Y/N, your hand is freezing-”

           You pulled your hand back into your jacket. “I know, I’m going to go back to the dorm room so I can warm up.” You were humiliated. You could see why Wonwoo would be embarrassed about you. Here you were, crying over him and almost getting frostbite over losing a glove you couldn’t get back.

           “Let me walk you back,” Jeonghan insisted.

           “I’m really fine. I’ll just keep my hand in my pocket.” You could feel more of the boys’ eyes on you in curiosity. Seungcheol was patting a snowball into life and looking Jeonghan’s way devilishly, and you didn’t want to be in the crossfire.

           You began to turn away up the path, and squeezed out a goodbye to the Ravenclaws before hurrying through the forest path back to the castle, feeling tears stinging at your eyes again. You couldn’t tell if you were crying because of your throbbing hand, your embarrassment of getting caught in your emotional outburst, or just relieving the pain of seeing Wonwoo ignore you. You didn’t look his way the entire time on the clearing. You couldn’t bear to see what he was doing. Was he ignoring you? Was he embarrassed to see you crying? Or had he been worried about you?

           You shook your head as you entered the castle, causing the snow to fall off your shoulders and head. By habit, you were leading yourself to the Room of Requirement. You knew Wonwoo wouldn’t follow you back, and you didn’t want to sit in your dormitory surrounded by all the younger years who couldn’t go to Hogsmead. You trudged into the familiar small room, and collapsed in front of the fire on the plushy rug laying on the floor. You reached out your numb hand to lay closer to the fire, and felt it begin to heat up.

           You felt comfortable on the rug, and felt yourself about to doze off. You shut your eyes for five minutes, and was rudely awakened by someone running into the room. You squeezed your eyes tight, hoping it was a bad dream.

           “Y/N!” A familiar deep voice boomed out, running over to you. You rolled over, and sat up as he approached you. Seeing his worried expression and his red cheeks like he had been running just caused your chest to flare up in anger. You got up, stuffing your single glove into your pocket.

           “What?” you asked, rather stern. You had a right to be.

           He paused in front of you, taken off guard from your sudden hostility as opposed to your usual warmth and kindness. “Are you… okay?”

           You scoffed. “Do you really care, Wonwoo?” You started to stalk past him to leave the room. He grabbed your arm and stopped you, turning you around.

           “Of course, I care Y/N, how could you question that?”

           You glared up at him. “You didn’t seem to care too much when you ignored me in front of your friends. You got away from me pretty fast. You couldn’t be bothered to even smile at me. Am I that embarrassing to you, Wonwoo, that your friends can’t know that we’re friends?” Wonwoo was staring at you, mouth slightly agape. The words were spilling out like vomit now. “I haven’t told any of my friends about you because I know you wouldn’t like that, but dammit Wonwoo, I’m tired of feeling like I’m something to be ashamed of!” You pulled away from his grip on your arm. “I care about you, dickhead. I was fucking crying about it! Why won’t you let me?”

           You turned again, and your hand was on the handle of the door when Wonwoo’s voice flittered out, “I was afraid.” You paused, waiting for him to say something else. He swallowed. “I am afraid,” he corrected. “That I would lose you.” He said, voice small.

           You turned toward him, hand still on the handle. “Why would you lose me?” you asked quietly.

           “I can’t explain it…” your grip tightened on the handle. “When I start telling my friends, it’ll be real. I’m afraid it won’t be the same if other people know. They might influence how this goes.”

           You sighed, and met his eyes. “How this goes, Wonwoo? What even is this?” Your question put him at a loss for words, and you turned back to twist the handle and leave the room before he said something else. If he said another word, you knew you would stay, and you would forgive him. You didn’t want to forgive him right now. He needed to think about all of this for a while. You just had to wait for him to make up his mind. Make up his mind about what? You weren’t sure. The ball was in his court now. It was his turn.

           -

           Wonwoo sat in the armchair, elbows on his knees, gazing into the fire. Your words were bouncing in his head like pinballs. What even is this?

           Wonwoo sat and pondered. What did Wonwoo want from you? A friendship? Something more? He wasn’t sure. All Wonwoo knew was that you made him happy. Your warm personality and words made him feel like he wasn’t the cold person he knew he was. You warmed him up. Wonwoo knew he didn’t want to stop talking to you. Wonwoo knew if you left him now, there would be a gaping hole in his chest where you used to be. Wonwoo suddenly remembered how he had grabbed your hand, and how warm it had been. When he had grabbed your arm earlier, he felt how cold your hand was. It wasn’t like you. It was like you were an entirely different person. He wanted you to feel warm again.

           Wonwoo knew he deserved it. He didn’t know why he shied away from you in public. The sinking feeling was that Wonwoo felt he didn’t deserve to be your friend. You could do so much better than him, a cold quiet man who struggled with his emotions. You were so patient, walking him through putting down his walls. And you came back every time they closed up again. You never faltered.

           And Wonwoo realized it in that moment. Why he was so intrigued by you. Why he could never get you off his mind, why he wanted to unravel your entire life story. Wonwoo just cared about you. It was as simple as that. In the beginning, it had just been your vibrant personality that drew Wonwoo in, but as time went on… He wanted to be more for you, he wanted to be someone you could rely on. He wanted you to break down his walls, and he wanted to let them down for you. He loved you.

           He dropped his head into his hands, the fire cackling in the all too quiet room.

            -

           A few days after the blow up, you sat down in Charms, and snuck a peak to the row that was across the row and one behind you. Where Wonwoo usually sat. Mingyu was snoozing on the desk, but Wonwoo wasn’t there. He hadn’t been there since the incident. You chewed on your lip, and stared down at the parchment in front of you.

           A figure passed you. A husky voice caused your head to shoot up. “Hey, Y/N.” Wonwoo said, passing you as he dropped into his seat. It was nonchalant, like it was nothing new. He had never verbally said hello to you in class before. It was always an indiscreet nod. You heard a few people whisper, and you drew your hands into your lap so no one could see how they were shaking.

           The rest of class you could barely focus. You were hyper aware of his presence in the room, and his gaze on your back. You bolted out of the room as the Professor dismissed the class, but Wonwoo was quick behind you. “Y/N, he said, grabbing your arm.

           You didn’t pull away. You were waiting for an explanation for his actions, but you could barely make yourself meet his gaze, or open your mouth to speak. You were afraid. You knew that simple action of saying hello was a big thing for him. It said a lot. He didn’t stop the two of you, instead he pulled you away in direction to your little room. He didn’t seem to care that people were staring and whispering as he pulled you along, but you knew he must have been screaming inside. What the hell was he doing? Proving to you that he could be public with you?

           When he pulled you in the Room, he kept his back to you as he held the door handles. You were standing in the light of the window, which was bright as the sun reflected off the snow. His grip was tight, like he was trying to stop the shaking of his hands. “Wonwoo, what is this about? Why have you not been in class?” Your voice was slightly hoarse, and just barely above a whisper. Was he going to cut ties with you completely, or just the opposite? He didn’t answer. “Are you avoiding me?” He shook his head, and finally pulled away from the door to face you. You were clothed in the bright sun, and he was standing in the shadows. He stepped forward, step by step, until he was half a foot away, and the light was shining on him too. He picked up your hands gently. You jolted in shock.

           “I was trying to figure out how to do this.” He said.

           That was ambiguous. “Do what?” you asked.

           “How to…” his words were stumbling as they left his lips. He shook his head. “How to tell you how I feel about you. About us.”

           Your breath caught in your throat. You were very aware of his hands over yours, and his close presence. His glasses were askew on his nose, as always. His tie was loose, and his sweater hung close to his body. Your throat felt parched, and you thought your voice might croak if you opened your mouth. You stared down at your intertwined hands, his hands reassuringly wrapped around yours. They were strong and sure for once, not hesitant and light on yours like they were the first time he had held your hand. You blinked, wondering suddenly if you were dreaming. This Wonwoo was far different from the Wonwoo you had been getting to know. Or, another thought crossed your mind, this is the Wonwoo who was hiding behind all the walls you had been trying to smash down. You drew your eyes up to meet his again. His cheeks were slightly flushed.

           He seemed to be thinking about what to say first. “I’ve wanted to talk to you since I first saw you get sorted first year. There was something about you that made me want to know everything about you. I spent all these years trying to figure it out from afar, with no luck.” You realized you were holding your breath at his words, and reminded yourself to breathe. “After you were rightfully angry with me, I realized something. When you asked me what this even was, I realized that I wanted it to be more than it was. Because I realized,” he took a deep breath, steadying himself. “That I really, really like you.” His cheeks flushed pink. “I think I love you.” He added.

           Your expression must have melted like better, as you stared at him while his confession fluttered out of his lips. He was searching your expression, worried, and waiting for your response. “Wonwoo, I…” It was your turn to search for the right words. “I think I love you too.” You realized. You found yourself breaking into a smile, the first one in a few days of misery, and Wonwoo smiled widely back at you, eyes scrunched up and all. It felt like all the anxiousness and tightness in your chest had dissolved immediately at his words. His hands tightened around yours, but you removed your hands to wrap around his torso and hug him. He was surprised first, but eventually lowered his arms around you. You shut your eyes and grinned against his sweater. You should have realized your desire to get to know him and spend time with him more and more was just that you… loved him. You hadn’t even realized it until he had said it. It was clear as day.

           You pulled away, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “You know, I wanted to talk to you for a while too. You were so quiet, and I wanted to know what was going on in that mind of yours.”

           Wonwoo sheepishly smiled. “A lot goes on up there. I just don’t verbalize it.”

           You decided to get breakfast first, walking down to the dining hall, yawning as you went. You were afraid to see Minghao as funny as that sounded. How would you act around him? All of this was so new. Like five-hours-ago new. Your heart was hammering at the thought of seeing him.

           While pouring a small milk carton into your bowl of cereal, someone slammed their tray down in front of you, and sat down. You stared up in shock, seeing Joshua looking very expectantly at you.

           “___.” He said.

           You blushed, and rubbed your nose, trying to play nonchalant. “Yes, Joshua?”

           “What. The. Hell. Happened.”

           You pursed your lips, and stared out the window. “A lot.” You admitted.

           “Yeah I guessed from how happy Minghao looked walking back to his room at 2 am!” You grinned, and covered your mouth. “Spill the tea!” Joshua demanded, grabbing your wrist.

           The truth was, you were dying to tell someone. Joshua was just about the closest friend you had here anyway, and you wanted to tell a friend. You sighed, giving in. “Alright,” you said, rolling your eyes. “So, we were at the party, and sitting on this couch, right? And we were just talking about everything and then I started to get sleepy and Minghao noticed so he put his jacket over me and put my head on his shoulder and told me I could sleep on him.” You said in a rushed breath.

           Joshua nodded. “Yeah, I saw you two.” You blushed, realizing how many people would have saw you sleeping on Minghao. “He kept peeking at you with all this fondness in his eyes.”

           You swatted at him. “Stop lying,” he interjected that he wasn’t lying but you continued anyway. “So eventually he woke me up and then pulled me onto his back to piggyback me back to my dorm, and we just talked the whole way there. And then he put me down at my dorm, and okay HOLD ON backstory: we had promised to keep each other company…” You continued telling him everything, Joshua listening very intent and nodding and gasping at just the right moments. After you had (embarrassed, and blushing furiously) told him that the two of you had kissed, Joshua leaned back in his chair, and stared up at the ceiling, hand over his face. He quickly reeled back and held your cheeks, squishing them.

           “I can’t believe you’re so grown up now…” Joshua whispered. “My baby… grown up.”

           “Joshua,” you whined. Once he had let go of your cheeks you added, “we’re going on a date today. Which I have to go get ready for now.” You said, checking the time. Joshua trailed after you as you put your food in the trash and put your tray away.

           “You have to tell me everything.” Joshua said, pulling on the back of your shirt as you walked. You rolled your eyes. “Also, tell me if he tries anything funny because if he does, I’ll beat him up.” You laughed.

           “You would beat up one of your best friends for me?”

           “If my best friend is being a dick to my best friend, I would beat them up.” Joshua said, as if it was obvious. “Or I would ask Seungcheol to yell at him because I’m not physical.”

           You shook your head. “Okay, got it Joshua. How about you just tell me to have a good time and leave me to peace and to think to myself?” You laughed, pushing his ribs gently with your elbow. You needed space to breathe, truthfully. You were nervous as hell.

           Maybe Joshua noticed you were nervous, because he stopped, and put his hands on your shoulders and steeled you to look at him. “___.” He said suddenly serious. “You’re a great person, and Minghao is lucky to be able to spend even a moment with you. He likes you a lot, and you two will have a great time. Just be yourself. Remember- he’s already seen you act like a dumbass and stuck around, so you can’t drive him away with your antics.” Joshua said in a calm voice. His words washed a sense of relief over you, and you sighed.

           “Thank you, Joshua.” You said genuinely. You grinned. “Okay, I’m off to get ready.” You waved goodbye as you jogged the last few paces to your dorm.

           After getting out of the shower, you stood in front of your closet, towel in hair, staring at all your options. You must’ve sat there for ten minutes. You finally picked out an off-the-shoulder shirt and some high-waisted jeans, something simple but cute. You finished blow drying your hair, and tried to make it look a bit curly and bouncy to your best abilities. You anxiously looked in the mirror, hoping it would be okay. Sitting down in your desk, you began to do your makeup, something that did bring you some peace and sanity.

           You were done around 11:30 so you were left to pace around your room for thirty minutes in anticipation. At 11:50 Minghao texted you that he was on his way, and your heartbeat started to beat like it was running a marathon. You did a few jumping jacks, and then shook out your limbs, and gave yourself a pep talk, which made you remember how you gave yourself a pep talk after the first time you had seen Minghao. You slung your black cross-body purse across your body, and once again examined your full outfit in the mirror. You had to admit that you did look cute. You twisted your leg to admire your low heels. Suddenly, your phone buzzed.

           I’m outside the dorm, I didn’t know if you wanted me to come up… Minghao had sent.

           You chuckled. He must be nervous too. I’m coming! You sent.

           You took one last look, checking for any minor flaws in your makeup you could fix, and then headed out the door, heart in your throat. When you got to the door of the dorm, you saw Minghao standing outside through the window, his hands in his pockets, looking nervous, and staring out at the courtyard. You got a chance to admire his outfit secretly, which consisted of ripped black jeans and a loose striped button up that seemed to be made of a silky material and hung past his hips. You quietly told your racing heart to ‘calm the hell down’ and then pushed the door open. He whipped around immediately, and his faced showed a clear face of shock once he eyed you from your head to your toes. He swallowed. He said your name hoarsely as you walked closer to him, heels making quiet sounds against the pavement. You secretly felt glee seeing him so flustered.

           “Hi,” you said, flashing a smile, that was slightly devilish.

           He cleared his throat, and stowed his phone into his pocket. “You look beautiful.” He said, tentatively reaching out to brush your arm with his hand. “As always.” He added. You laughed, trying to diffuse the slightly awkward tension.

           “You don’t look half bad yourself.” You said, looking at his outfit again, and then admired how soft his hair looked, parted on the side, making him look years younger.

           “Thank you,” he said, clearing his voice again. “So, shall we go?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. At least you weren’t the only nervous one. But you had barely ever seen him nervous, and it was a weird feeling to know that you were catching a usually calm and collected Minghao off guard. It made you feel more confident. He started to lead the way, and you trailed beside him.

           “What did you have planned?” you asked.

           “Have you eaten lunch yet? I thought we could walk around the city and visit some street vendors. I haven’t gotten a chance to explore the city yet and I thought it would be fun to do so with you.” He said, gaining a bit of his confidence back and recovering. He flashed you a smile.

           “That sounds great!” you said. You reached your hand to loop around and sit on the inside of his elbow. He jumped in surprise, but didn’t remove your hand. “Is this okay?” you asked, a bit worried he might say no.

           He laughed. “It’s more than okay.” He reassured you, relaxing, and used his free hand to pat your hand. The two of you had kissed, after all. You wondered if he would kiss you again today. You looked down at your shoes and grinned at the thought.

           “I haven’t gotten a chance to explore the city either. Too busy with school.”

           “Then we can experience it together.” He seemed happy at the thought.

           “We might get lost together too.” You joked. The more time you spent with Minghao, the more comfortable you felt.

           The two of you walked from the campus, and into the city. Your university was located in a medium sized city, not too big, but not too small either. It was on the water, so it was bound to be a bit populated. You hoped your heels wouldn’t hinder you during the date, which might involve a bit of walking.

           He led you to a bustling street full of vendors, as well as clothing shops. He announced that it was Main Street. “I did some research on the best places to explore.” He admitted.

           “Did you do all your researching last night after you left?” you asked quizzically.

           He covered his shy smile. “I’ve been planning to ask you on a date for a while. I researched all of this a bit ago.”

           You laughed, and leaned into his arm. “Nice.”

           You both kept walking peacefully, the sounds of the crowd bubbling in the background. Your first stop was a vender carrying churros, which you pointed out excitedly, not being able to think to hide your eagerness even a little. Minghao walked you there wordlessly, no question. “Two churros please.” Minghao asked, and you pulled away from his arm so he could pull out his wallet and grab the churros.

           “Here, let me pay for min-” You started, reaching into your purse.

           “No way in hell.” Minghao denied, handing you your churro after swiftly paying.

You rolled your eyes. “Thank you.”

           He held out his arm subtly, hinting for you to loop your arm around it again. You gladly obliged, and proceeded to bite into the churro. You were glad you had decided not to wear lipstick. “Is it good?” he asked.

           “So good,” you groaned. “I haven’t had a churro in years. How’s yours?”

           “It’s pretty good.” He agreed.

           “So, Minghao, tell me about this whole dancing business.” You said, searching for a topic to talk about as the two of you walked slowly down the street.

           “If I start talking about dancing, I might not be able to stop.” He warned.

           “My ears are open.” You sang.

           Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he swallowed the bit of his churro before opening his mouth to speak. “I was interested in dance after I started Wushu in China. I started to do b-boying after that, and then I moved here. When I moved here, I met all the guys in freshman year of high school. I met Jun first, and because he was from China too, I felt comfortable around him. He introduced me to the rest of the guys, and we all clicked. We’ve been best friends ever since.  Some of the guys in the group were into dancing, and they really encouraged me to pursue dancing more. Soonyoung, Jun, Chan and I all dance together sometimes. Soonyoung encourages me a lot.” He grinned at his feet at the memories. “We would all practice together a lot, just for fun. They’ve challenged me to better my skills.”

           You were entranced by his words. You wanted to listen to his whole life story. You just wanted to hear him talk forever, his soft tone echoing in your ears, his words careful and sincere. You really couldn’t believe he liked you. He had kissed you. You could listen to him talk to your heart’s content.

           He did end up talking about dancing for a long time, and you didn’t mind one bit. You reminded him of his promise to you, to dance for you one day. He put his hand over yours, and said sincerely, “I will uphold my promise. I swear it.” You grinned in agreement.

           You and Minghao made it all the way down Main Street, and turned around to walk back again to visit the shops on the other side of the street. Minghao had bought you two a small lunch too. You checked the time on your phone. You and Minghao had already spent two hours together, and you didn’t want for it to end just yet. Minghao looked interested in an outfit in a store, and when you asked him if he wanted to go in, and he said no, you rolled your eyes and drug him inside. You examined the outfit, and asked him, “Which piece do you like best?” He was blubbering on about it wasn’t important, and how we could go somewhere that you liked instead. “Minghao, please. Just try on the piece that you like best. Or, find something else in the store.”

           He finally obliged, and picked out a distressed jean jacket to go try on. He pulled it on, and looked at the outfit in the mirror. You grinned widely. “It looks so good! Do you like it?” you asked. You just wanted to buy something he liked for him. You didn’t want him spending all his money on you without you doing something for him in return that would make him happy. He grinned shyly at you in the mirror, and admitted he liked it. “Okay, say no more. I’m sold. I’ll buy it for you.” He protested, saying that he would buy him itself, and he really didn’t need it. You placed your fingers over his lips, cutting off his speech. His lips parted under your skin slightly. You ignored the feeling of his lips, because that would only lead to you thinking about kissing, which you didn’t want to be distracted by. “I don’t want to hear it. Just let me do one damn nice thing for you after all the nice things you’ve done for me. Can you let me do that?” you sighed, folding the jacket over your arm.

           He reached down suddenly to press a kiss to your cheek, causing you to blush. “Thank you.” He whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver. You cleared your throat, and stepped away to choke out a you’re welcome, and headed to the counter to pay, flustered. He followed you, chuckling.

           You handed him the bag after stepping out of the store. “Now, I don’t want to hear about how I shouldn’t have bought it. I’m not returning it. Just enjoy it.” He slid the bag up his arm, and threw his other arm over your shoulders, squeezing you reassuringly.

           You walked halfway down the street again, until you started feeling your feet flare up in pain because of the heels. You shifted uncomfortably, and stifled a grimace. You didn’t want to ruin this date, you wanted to spend more time with him. But you just couldn’t walk in these damn heels anymore. You tried to ignore it, and you managed to for a little bit.

           You walked a bit more, and suddenly your heel was falling into a crack, and your ankle twisted, causing it to flare up in pain, as you fell against Minghao with a short yell in surprise. He caught you easily, sliding his arms around your stomach, holding you against him. “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.

           “Just these damn heels getting in the way,” you sighed. “Sorry, I’m alright.” You got up, and rolled your ankle around, making sure you hadn’t injured it too badly. Minghao withdrew his arms, but he had one hand on your shoulder, stabilizing you. It didn’t hurt much, but it was dully throbbing.

He didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure you can walk?” he asked.

           “Yeah, I can walk back to the campus.” You said. “Could we do something that doesn’t require walking at the campus? I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.” You grinned.

           He looked relieved. “We can do anything you want.” He reassured you. “But first…” He was suddenly crouching in front of you and pulling you onto his back causing you to exclaim in surprise. “I don’t want you to twist your ankle again.” He said, in response to you asking was he was doing.

           You fake gasped. “How heroic of you.” You said, wrapping your arms around his neck, accepting his help. You could feel him rolling his eyes. You were glad you could still joke around and tease him, even though you had a new dynamic to your relationship. You took this opportunity to lay your ear against his back again, and listen to his heartbeat. “You sure you can still carry me back? This is a longer distance from the frat house.” Your feet were already feeling better.

           “Trust me for once, ___.” Minghao said, and you felt his voice rumbling in his chest under your cheek. You popped your head up and rested your chin on his shoulder.

           “Why do you want to be a marine biologist?” you asked him.

           “I love the ocean,” he said easily. “95% of the ocean is unexplored. There’s a whole lot to learn, and I want to learn it all.”

           “That’s how I feel about the universe. It’s so mysterious, but I wasn’t smart enough to study astrophysics for all that math, no matter how interesting the rest of it is.” You sighed.

           “Does international business make you happy?” he asked you.

           You thought about it. “I’m… not sure. I haven’t experienced it enough of it to make a decision, if I’m being honest.” You murmured. “I hope it does.”

           He reached up to squeeze your hands around his neck. “If it doesn’t, there’s a major in the world for everybody. I promise.”

           “Thank you, Minghao.” You said, surprised.

           Before you knew it, and without complaints from Minghao, he had delivered the two of you to campus. You hopped off his back, feeling bad he had carried you this far. You could at least walk the rest of the way across the campus. You insisted that you were alright, and walked beside him. Your feet didn’t feel as bad as before, now that they had time to rest.

           “So, what do you want to do now?” Minghao asked, stretching his back.

           “Hmm…” you rubbed your chin. “We could sit by the beach.”

           “That sounds good!” He agreed, nodding.

           “Or, we could hang out with all the boys together!”

           He looked horrified. “Are you kidding? The amount of teasing we would endure…”

           You laughed. “I was kidding. That’s the last thing I want to do right now.” He sighed in relief. You were almost positive all of the boys knew you two were on a date right now. “So, beach?”

           You had grabbed a picnic blanket from your dorm on the way (as well as ditching your heels for sandals) to the beach. You spread the picnic blanket over the sand and sat down, patting the space next to you. Minghao sat down next to you, his long limbs taking up most of the space. You both spent a while staring at the waves, not having to say anything, sitting in a comfortable silence.

           “Can you believe all of this happened like eight hours ago?” you suddenly said, in disbelief.

           Minghao nodded. “It’s crazy. It was a long time coming, though.”

           You turned to look at him. “A long time coming huh?”

           “Yeah, I knew you liked me.” He said confidently.

           “Oh, really?” you scoffed. “Wow. How do you think you knew?”

           “Well, you did call me cute a lot.”

           “I call Joshua cute too.” You argued.

           He shook his head. “You don’t get embarrassed when you tell Joshua that, but you always got embarrassed when saying it to me. It’s like it slipped out when you weren’t realizing it.” You pursed your lips. That was true. “And, we talked all the time. Even more than you and your best friend Joshua did. Don’t you think that says something?”

           You scoffed. “It says you’re better at holding a conversation than Joshua is.”

           “Okay, whatever. I was right though. You liked me.” he asked, lying down on the blanket to stare up at the sky. You muttered out a yeah, whatever and watched the waves roll. You were smiling though. Minghao poked your side, and said, “Come down here and stare at the sky with me.” You were surprised at the sudden request, but stifled your awkwardness as you laid your shoulder down beside his. You placed your hands over your stomach, and brought up your knees. You stared at the clouds with him for a while, pointing out shapes.

         Minghao dozed off for about twenty minutes. You had looked over an hour into cloud watching and saw his eyes fluttered close, and his chest slowly rising and falling. You weren’t sure if that meant he was so comfortable and peaceful he could sleep, or if he was bored to death, or if he was tired from staying up late with you and carrying you around today. Either way, he looked like a resting angel that made your heart ache. You turned on your side to look at him instead of the sky. You reached out a hand to fix his hair and part it correctly again. A sudden comfortable feeling flittered into your chest, that made you feel that you could do this with Minghao every day. It kind of made you want to cry. You turned back in your back before he could wake up and see you staring at him. But instead, his voice mumbled out, “Do I look cute?” You blushed, and thought shit inside your head because he was seemingly awake.

       “Very.” You said, crossing your arms.

       “That felt nice.”

       “What, your mock nap?” You said, feeling sour that you had been tricked.

       “No, your fingers in my hair.”

        Your heart hammered. You were still unused to all of this. But, you summoned up your courage. Like Joshua said, there was nothing to be afraid of. You couldn’t chase him off with your antics. You turned back towards him, and he was giving you an all-too-innocent gaze. You sighed, and reached out your hand again to play with his soft hair. His eyes fluttered close at your touch, and a dreamy smile glittered on his face. You shook your head with a grin. You propped yourself on your elbow to get a better position.

       Suddenly, as your fingers trailed from his hair to the side of his chin, Minghao opened his eyes again, searching your gaze and expression. Your hand paused on the side of his face, as you two locked eyes for a moment, before Minghao pulled you down to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, pulling your hand around to run through the back of his hair.

      After he had pulled away, you couldn’t stop smiling. You tried to cover it with your hands, but failed when a giggle escaped your lips. You rolled your head back as you smiled, and then looked back to catch his face in between your hands. He looked slightly confused.

     “I think I like you a whole lot.” You said. “You make me happy.”

     “Wow, it’s only our first date, and you’re making confessions?”

      You groaned, and pulled away. He caught your hands, and pulled you close again, catching you off guard. He was very close. “You make me happy too.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t need to talk loud for you to hear him, with him this close to you. You could see every detail on his face, and could feel his breath gently blowing on your face. You could see all of the fly hairs sticking to his forehead in the heat. You suddenly felt shy this close to him, and hid your face in his neck. He was giggling, a sound you could never get tired of, while he rubbed your back.

           Walking back, you grabbed his hand, and swung it back and forth between the two of you. When he squeezed your hand, you could feel your heart thumping in response. “You’re adorable.” He chuckled.

 You and Seokmin had snuck into the school playground that you two used to go to together, to reminisce. Seokmin had insisted that you both get on the swings, and you readily agreed. It was hard to say no to Seokmin, his puppy dog eyes won anyone over. He had grabbed your hand in eagerness, and pulled you with full force to the swings.

 You watched him now, thinking about how simple things like this shot Seokmin into euphoria. Seokmin loved the simple things. He told you all the simple things he loved every day. One day when you had a picnic he told you how he loved the way the sun reflected off the sandwich bags. Like really? Sandwich bags? But that was Seokmin. He noticed those things, and he loved all of it. You sometimes wondered what good you had done in your past life to have a best friend like him, who supported you to no end and supplied you with never ending positivity when you were having a hard time.

 You and Seokmin had first met in elementary school, where Seokmin was new to your class in the middle of the year. He was shy, and was having a hard time making friends. You took it upon yourself to take him under your wing, and befriend him. This was unusual of you, because you were a little shy as well. But, you knew how he was feeling, so you pushed back your shyness and said hello, and asked if he wanted sit with you at lunch. It was fate really, because you two clicked and spun like gears. He seemed to laugh at every joke you made, like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. He was a great listener, and never wavered in his loyalty. Seokmin had been a good man his whole life.

 After both your arcs had gradually drifted closer to the ground, you both sat in the swings and stared up at the coming sunset. You rested your head on the metal chain and sighed, all too aware of Seokmin’s presence next to you. More recently, the dynamic of you and Seokmin’s relationship seemed to have changed. He seemed to sit and fidget with his clothing constantly, and his laughs were a bit shaky. He seemed to have lost his confidence, almost. You weren’t hanging out as much, because Seokmin seemed to be busier these days. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was drifting away from you. It seemed to have happened the same time you realized your feelings for him. You were constantly in agony, wondering if he was acting different because he somehow picked up on your realized feelings for him. You didn’t know how it had taken you this long to realize it. Maybe you should have picked up on it when you used to fall asleep with his smile in your mind and his laugh echoing in your ears.

“Simple thing #1304,” Seokmin’s voice flittered out of the silence. “This moment.” He said simply. You grinned, and looked over at him. He cleared his throat, seeming to work himself up to something. “Simple thing #1305. The feeling of this note in my pocket.”

 “What?” He reached into his pocket, and pulled a large folded up note out of his pocket. He looked at the note with a gaze of fondness. You looked up at him in confusion. He twisted his swing to face you, and you twisted yours towards him as well. You heart was hammering in your chest.

 He unfolded it carefully. “Y/N,” he said, saying each syllable of your name carefully.

 “Yes?” you squeaked out. Your mind jumped to worst case scenarios quickly, mind whirring. Was he about to read a letter about all the reasons he couldn’t be friends with you anymore?

 “You have no idea how nervous I’ve been about this moment.” He laughed. “On this note, I have a long list of simple things revolving around one topic.” He looked up, and met your eyes. “You.”

 Your heart froze. “M-me?”

 “This is where the simple things began.” He looked down at the note. “Simple thing #1. The way Y/N smiles.” His voice was shaky in the beginning, but became stronger with each word. All thoughts in your brain came to a dead stop, and that phrase out of Seokmin’s mouth was echoing in your head. You inspired the simple things? His mouth twitched with a smile at your look of surprise. “Y/N, I’ve written down every simple thing I love about you since the end of elementary school.” He flipped around the note to reveal a very cramped note of words of love for you. “See how my handwriting goes from shitty to less shitty?” You let out a nervous laugh. You couldn’t speak. Was this what you thought it was? A confession? He flipped around the note again. “Simple thing #42. The way Y/N’s hands grip the handles of a bike. Simple thing #56. The way Y/N’s hair falls across her shoulders.”

 Your hands were shaking. You reached up to pull your hair behind your ear. “Seokmin,” you whispered, voice full of emotion.

 He kept going. “I’ve wanted to tell you this and show you this secret for years. I finally realized recently it was time to tell you how I really feel, but I was so nervous. That’s why I’ve been acting weird.” He admitted. He set the note in his lap, and reached out to grab your hands. You met his eyes again. “Y/N, I’m in love with you. I have been since the beginning.” Your ears were ringing. A sense of relief was falling over you, and quickly was being replaced with glee. “I want to be someone you can tell anything to, depend on endlessly, test all of your jokes on, anything. I want to be yours.” He pressed the note into your hand.

 “Seokmin,” you said a bit louder than a whisper. “Of course I love you too.”

 Seokmin smiled a smile that was wider than any smile you’d ever seen on his face, and that was saying something. He stood up, and pulled you up into a hug. He picked you up in his arms and spun you around, laughing bubbling from your lips as you held onto him tightly, the note safely in your hands. He put you down, and framed his hands around your cheeks. Your cheeks hurt from smiling. You put your hands over his, and he leaned in to press a gentle, and long overdue, kiss to your lips. You were suddenly aware of everything in this moment; the setting sun casting colors across your closed eyelids, the way Seokmin’s hands curled around your hair, the feel of your tip toes pushed against the ground, struggling to reach Seokmin’s height.

 When he finally pulled away, he looked a thousand times lighter. You felt a thousand times lighter, too. Seokmin was everything you wanted, and more. Of course you were his, and he was yours.