Dear the little old me
I just realized how long I had been cruel to myself, looking back and seeing all of those things that I let myself endure just for the sake of everyone else, maybe because I was so afraid to lose people or to be left behind or to be replaced easily. I have a thousand curse and I thought that people wouldn't use them against me but in the end they did; leaving me devastated and with a remembrance of trust issues and so from now on I couldn't really let my guard down anymore because the last time that I did it taught me to never again. I wasn't told that people could actually be that vicious even to the ones they claim to love and have taken the oath to never hurt, no one told me that humanity could be as cruel as that. To the little old me, I apologize on the world's behalf for putting you through the fires of hell which you didn't deserve, all you ever wish for in return of your genuine love was another sincere heart as yours yet you are given cold blooded ones that only does you harm, I want you to know that you deserve none of the things that people put you through and that if I could guard you from all those things then I will definitely do it, without hesitations, without a thought in mind. I've always dreamt of telling you how proud I am of you because no one ever does that for you, you deserve so much better in this life, you're a good person and you've been through a lot of things that just made you even stronger, there were pills that you had to swallow even though it's hard, there were lessons that you are forced to learn in order to survive, because all your life you've only been surviving instead of living and now that you are finally living little by little, I hope that you wouldn't let anyone have the power to destroy everything that you worked hard for; I hope that you'll learn to walk away the first time that you sense something that isn't right, I hope you'd walk away not only because of you but also because of me, me who fought so hard to get you where you are right now, me who fought and put myself on the line for independence without the guilt, please remember me when you think of sacrificing something because of a person. I hope that you'd make a decision not for you but for us and I trust you with every fiber of my being that you're going to choose the best for us. Remember me when you are struggling, remember our conversations, because you are loved, loved by me and with that you doesn't need any other types of love that require you to sacrifice yourself again. Real love does not require you to put yourself on the line, true love wouldn't be asking for your sanity and self respect. I hope that you will not let another person ruin us again, now that we're whole once again, please promise me one thing, just one thing, please never let them in like how I let that person in. We've learnt our lesson and this time let us know what our worth is. We are the prize, we are not just some kind of item one can acquire by lazing around, we are earned and not redeemed. You are worth pf all the good things in this world. If one couldn't then another will without a doubt will. That will be all for now. Remember that you are loved. I love you.













