Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle o' cheap whiskey @pirate-captain-fleabeard - Tumblr Blog

ottermercurial

SHIP'S LOG NUMBER SEVENTEEN

BRINY BRINIER YET BRINIER

THE WAVES KEEP GROWING

THE SCURVY CUTTING DEEPER

RUM SUPPLY NEGATIVE

THIS NEXT VOYAGE

SEEMS

VERY

SWASHBUCKLING

...

WHAT SAY YE BOTH?

•18+ Adults Only

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goldswords

THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!

facts-i-just-made-up

why dont' you ever see a sad pirate ever?

Clearly you've never heard Captain Gore's song, "Yo-Ho Me Hearties And I'll Cry If I Want To" about her first mate stealing her ship.

You would cry too, for your mutinied crew.

contaiinedarmageddon2

tarantula-bones-deactivated2026

glamwisegamgee

obsessed with this search result for “yearning stock photo”

scurvy-joe-1783

Anyone who does not yearn for the seven seas be already sailing them

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perenial

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

perenial

pirate-captain-fleabeard

Me cousin Robert the Dreaded be on that list

scurvy-joe-1783

I met the blackbeard she be a siren

glamwisegamgee

obsessed with this search result for “yearning stock photo”

pankendev

i got burnt too many times at the till realizing i left my money at home, so now i try to keep as many different modes of payment on me as i possibly can. i'm talking cards. i'm talking coins. i'm talking contactless. i'm talking collectibles. i'm talking favors. i'm talking precious minerals. i'm talking gemstones & jewelry. i'm talking scrip. i'm talking endangered species. i'm talking discontinued drugs. i'm talking priceless works of art. i'm talking moon rocks. i'm talking hot trading tips. i'm talking banned weaponry. i'm talking deeds to various plots of land. i'm talking treasure maps. i'm talking lost media. i'm talking fucked-up things in jars. i'm talking historical artifacts. i'm talking sacred relics. i'm talking state secrets. i'm talking passwords. i'm talking cursed statuettes. i'm talking private performances. i'm talking life-changing advice. i'm talking beanie babies. i'm talking first-born sons. i'm talking interesting seashells. i'm talking smooth stones with holes in them. and if all else fails i believe kindness and a smile can get you anything in life; & thievery

#ye dont need all that all ye need is a chest o gold coins an' a cutlass at yer belt

malicious-screaming-sentinel

instead of saying KYS loser we should say WTPYSD (walk the plank ye scurvy dog)

#yarr

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pirate-captain-fleabeard

If only gold were t' float upon the water like a piece o' driftwood. Yarr, I might never have to go on land t'were that the case

pirate-captain-fleabeard

Oh wait. Scurvy. Hmmmm.

If only orange trees were t' float upon the water's surface like kelp! Yarr, then I might never have t'go on land again

#pirateposting

anh3-donia

insane goodwill pickup

If only gold were t' float upon the water like a piece o' driftwood. Yarr, I might never have to go on land t'were that the case

#pirateposting

pirate-captain-fleabeard

captain fleabeard, i just have to ask, has anybody made fun of your name before? i mean nothing by this but being called "fleabeard" doesn't seem like it'd strike fear in the hearts of your enemies like blackbeard does... although, to be fair, blackbeard is one of the most fearsome pirates and he lit fuses in his hat and beard to make himself look intimidating...

Ye ferget I be a pirate sailing th' seven seas. Those fleas are carriers of a whole slew o' nautical plagues! Gold fever, swashbuckler's flu, seagull pox, ye name it. It sure keeps others from gettin' too close during swordfights, i'll tell ye that!

briarpatch-kids

I desperately need y'all to see this scam bot I just got:

pirate-captain-fleabeard

OUT OF ME WAY LANDLUBBER I'M GONNA GET SOME

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

pirate-captain-fleabeard

WHO FORGOT TO SPIKE THE PUNCH BOWL

gardenvarietydegenerate

But Cap! I poured a 'ole bottle a rum in it!

pirate-captain-fleabeard

IT MUST NOT HAVE BEEN RUM, YE SCURVY DOG!!! SOMEBODY'S BEEN HORNSWOGGLED AND FER ALL YER SAKES I HOPE IT T'WEREN'T ME!!!

WHO FORGOT TO SPIKE THE PUNCH BOWL

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