Make you never wanna leave

Okay, WOW! You’re definitely right but, wow. Offense absolutely taken. I’m 75% sure I would know if I heard it, so that’s me telling you to play it for me tonight. Wait, no, what if I delete it right now?????

No, you can definitely trust him! I swear. It’s not like you have a lot of secrets anyways. Am I supposed to know every song that comes out??? You can’t possibly expect that of me. Um. Remember that Crazy Frog song? That. I honestly can’t tell you if I ever did, but I did end up getting a drink.

Um. He may or may not know some things. Wait, disappointed in me???? No, please. Oh, can you actually? I never know where to look for new songs. She has you as a best friend, so yeah, she has the best taste ever. HAHA, actually probably….. Well now we’ll never know.

NOOOO, I said I love it! Please don’t stop getting drunk around me. I’m a shit liar, but I’ve never sold your secrets to the press before. I promise. Oh, it’s Beyonce. I probably should have guessed that. Sounds like a really fun club song, so Jade has awesome taste. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. You actually have a point, though.

Hundreds of times. You’re a little gossiper when you’re drunk, and I for one, love it. What’s Get Me Bodied???? I mean, if it’s a good song I definitely understand. I tried to request Can’t Feel My Face by The Weeknd years ago at a club, but they didn’t play it. Probably because I was asking the bartender and not the DJ. Wow, okay, true, you got me there.

Thank you. I have been told I’m very smooth by many, many, many people. I didn’t think so, because that’s something you would have definitely told me to show me how badass you are. Wait, are you being serious? Tell me more right now. Pretty sure my name is Dexter, but maybe that’s all a lie.

I know you are but what am I? Well now I have to know how you know. Did Piper Bennett get banned from a restaurant before I knew her??? Or was it during and you never told me??? Keeping secrets from me. Wow, I see how it is. My friends are upstanding citizens, lady.

You’re probably right, but I forget so I can’t know for sure. Banned??? Do people really get banned from restaurants? I don’t think anyone’s been banned before, they would probably have to like, run through the place naked to have that happen. But it would be hilarious. I know, and don’t you forget it!

I tell you everything! Except things I forget until weeks later. Sometimes I like to go around and make sure people like their food, and that I didn’t accidentally poison someone. I don’t even think the fork was dirty. Our dishwasher guys are pretty solid. Ooooh, peach yogurt coming right up.

Whoa, whoa, put down the dukes Pipes. It was like a month or whatever ago and she barely hit me. It was actually kind of funny. If she didn’t look like she was about to murder me. Hah! I knew it. Anything else you want?

Okay, yeah, you probably have a point there. I once had someone throw a fork at me because it was dirty. At least it wasn’t my food. Awwwww, Pipes. You’re so sweet on me. What if I brought home the green kind?

I don’t know about that. Some people are probably just trying to be nice and don’t want to say if they don’t like their meal. Oh, ugh. I can go after work and pick some up. You like the orange kind right?

Thank god I’m not the only one thinks my ideas are good. That IS a good one. Remind me to make some of it later because I’ll probably forget.

I have best ideas???

Wow, thank you so much. This is truly an honor. I didn’t even get to prepare a speech.

What is important though, is that I’m having fun.

Every other week.