pim’s

About me :3

My name is Pima, I'm 23 years old and i live in Belgium. This is basically my diary lmaoo

ummmm I like photography, film and everything else actually

Here's a playlist to get to know me better on a deeper level :)

Roads obscure feels like a song that would play in a movie during a scene of a warm beach after a long time wandering in the city without having to go nowhere , it’s dusty yet it has a beautiful guitar solo at the end making it feel very emotional.

It’s about being lost, that feeling when you don’t have a plan and you’re just drifting along.

“And it’s hard for us to know, where we are and where we’ll go”

“My Monday throne” by Sunset rollercoaster.

It is a mix of city pop, AOR, and neo-psychedelia. The atmosphere is very rich, you have the almost watery synth mixed with a bass guitar, a beautiful saxophone and the singer’s voice that is almost whispering but not totally.

This song is very nostalgic, it carries the soul of the 80s Japanese city pop even though it was released in 2011.

For me this song is the perfect one to drive around in a dark forest, it talks about escaping the Monday blues and the city life in general but also you can feel him yearn for love and connection to someone he might have lost or a new person.

To my right, my altar, which reminds me that I forget to pray a little too often;

my canvas , whom I touch once every blue moon if they’re lucky;

my bookshelf filled with books just waiting to be touched and appreciated.

To my left, instruments I'll probably never bother to get to know.

But above all, there's my camera. I love taking pictures.

It's perhaps the saddest thing in the whole room.

It reminds me how insecure I am, that I don't dare take it out in public to show it the scenery. I'm so ashamed of being me, ashamed of enjoying myself, ashamed of everything, ashamed of nothing, ashamed of living.

Would it be better to end it all or stay for those who love me?

That has been the question I have probably asked myself a thousand times, I don't enjoy being alive; never had, but I just can't quit and hurt them.

I can't stop thinking about it, it's like an obsession, a very cruel one. I keep thinking about every person that committed. I reassure myself by saying, “ they must not have families nor friends, it's an easier decision in that case” but i am lying to myself they did.

No matter what solution I can find to understand how they could do it and not me it ends up being the same answer ; I'm a coward.

I'm not scared of hurting people, I'm scared of killing myself, scared of failing, scared of losing control, scared of being stuck as a ghost and having to witness that deep down no one really cared.

Or perhaps I'm just scared of still feeling that way in the after life and having to be stuck with those thoughts for eternity.

I don't stay alive cause I don't want to hurt my family. I stay alive out of fear and cowardice. I'm so disgusted by that, ashamed of it even because once again I only think about myself not others.

in a looped burned tape

a phantom inside my mind

i cannot escape

the wallpaper peeling back

to show a plain void

i’m starting to forget your eyes

i still hear the echo of your laugh

would you be so kind

to give me the exit sign

i’m lost in this world that isn’t mine

a broken dimensional soul

running behind mine

i tried opening doors

but only found walls behind

just a million empty frames

and a dirty mirror

my face reflecting in it

showing nothing but horrors