piltdownlad

I was a guest on Tony DuShane’s eponymous podcast/radio show, Drinks with Tony. We discuss the craft writing, how I ended up driving a taxi, my experiences with Lyft and Uber, how I landed a gig writing a column for the S.F. Examiner, the pandemic and how a little bit of success can lead to a whole lot of despair. I think. We talked for a while, and I kinda hoping he edited a bunch of stuff…

That Time I Was a Lyft Driver for Halloween

Ah, the memories… Even if I try to forget, Facebook always reminds me of the stupid shit I did in the past… And wrote columns about… The increasingly blurry lines of driving for hire By Kelly Dessaint  published on Nov 6, 2015 I was a Lyft driver for Halloween. The idea came to me at last week’s barbeque. For some reason, driving around San Francisco, picking up fares with Lyft’s iconic…

New Site Edits and Back End Revisions

Oh my. I’ve been going through this blog updating links to the S.F. Examiner pages where many of these posts originally appeared. It seems the management has rearranged their servers and subsequent urls. Not that exciting, but I’m trying to breathe some life back into this site. If for anything, just to keep it from disappearing into the web-oblivion. All links to buy books, zines or other…

The Best of I Drive SF :

The worst cab driver in San Francisco doesn’t work the DJ clubs, doesn’t troll the bars in the Mission and avoids Polk Street like the plague. He doesn’t play the airport or cabstand at hotels. Most of the time, he sits in front of the Power Exchange or Divas waiting for a call from a regular rider. The worst cab driver in San Francisco has said, given the option, he’d prefer to exclusively deal…

Let’s Lynch The Landlord!

My column for the S.F. Examiner this week is about unscrupulous landlords… It’s not a good time to be a landlord… In January, the state of California passed Senate Bill 91, the Tenant Relief Act, to help renters and landlords financially impacted by the pandemic. Besides extending the eviction moratorium, the bill also devotes $2.6 billion to reimburse property owners for unpaid rent. Even…

The Story of Owl Cab: A Black-Owned Taxi Company in 1940’s Pittsburgh

Interesting article from 2015 about a Black-owned cab company in 1940’s Pittsburgh that rose up from the jitneys that served the African-American population and neighborhood. [Includes more great photos from the era.] In an Era of Segregation, Owl Cab Mobilized Black Pittsburgh “Owl Cab Company was started by former jitney driver Silas Knox because Yellow Cab refused to come to the Hill,” says…

My Birthday Present from the SFMTA - Getting older, pissing in a cup, Prop 22 and other hassles

Every year I have to get drug tested to renew my A-Card, and every year I bitch about it in the newspaper. The above image is from the first column I wrote about dragging my weary ass to the clinic to get tested.

My column for the S.F. Examiner this week is about getting older, pissing in a cup and Prop 22. In that order…

This time of the year always fills me with dread. Not just because…

Looking for a Story with Wheels

Five years ago, on May 1, 2015, the first I Drive SF column appeared in the S.F. Examiner. Below is an excerpt from the zine Behind the Wheel #4: The Thin Checkered Line about how I landed the column… 

  Looking for a Story

After my horrendous first night as a Lyft driver, back in February of 2014, I just wanted to give up, go home and fill out an application at Trader Joe’s. But the decision…

The Best of I Drive SF: Crackheads are People Too

This column originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Nov. 4, 2016. One of the more provocative headlines from the glory days when the Editor in Chief gave me a very long leash to write about whatever I wanted. A year or so after he quit the paper, we met for coffee. He really had to fight to get this headline in print.

I’m sure when sending in my copy I mentioned something about the headline…

The Best of I Drive SF: The Misanthropic Drug Dealer

This column was originally published in the S.F. Examiner on Mar 17, 2017. In it, I introduce Mr. Judy, the drug dealer I drove daily for almost a year. He appeared in the column multiple times, much to his delight.

He never seemed to worry that I was writing about him in the newspaper. Of course, I made sure he was comfortable with it beforehand. He even wanted me to use his real nickname. All…

The Best of I Drive SF: Guilty of Driving a Taxi

Even though this is the fourth column I wrote for the Examiner, the sensation of feeling “guilty” were prevalent throughout my taxi “career.” I could have updated this material monthly.  

The Examiner actually printed the above image of Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver in the newspaper with this column. Probably the coolest one they ever used. 

    Driving a cab in San Francisco is like wearing…

Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Mar. 5, 2020.

With the RSA conference in town last week, The City finally felt alive again. After weeks of struggling to survive, there were finally enough people with expense accounts willing to take taxis.

On Wednesday night, numerous RSA-related events were happening throughout Union Square and South of Market.

At 10 p.m., I’m on my way to check out…

Before the kid, back when having personal space wasn’t such a luxury, I did a lot of writing on a manual typewriter. Yeah, I know… if I read something as hipster-fied as that, I’d want to throat punch whoever said it too. But I didn’t acquire an Olympia De Luxe for the aesthetics, or to enhance my authenticity vibe. 

No, for me, it was about the challenge. I wanted my prose to be more…

Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Feb. 20 2020.

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m in a real taxi,” the girl in my backseat slurs, her words as boozey as her breath. “I didn’t think taxis even existed anymore.”

“Oh, there’s still a few of us around,” I respond absently, wondering how anyone could fail to notice the numerous multi-colored vehicles circling The City all day and night. I resist…

Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Feb. 6, 2020.

Lately I’ve been trying to avoid the airport. Now that we’re even deeper into the thick of winter, taxi business is absolutely dismal. At SFO, the wait times are longer than ever.

There was a momentary respite from the bleakness two weeks ago when the JP Morgan conference rolled into town, but since then, driving a taxi has been mostly an…

Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Jan. 23, 2020.

After pulling up to terminal three and stowing the young girl’s suitcase in the trunk of my cab, I get behind the wheel and look over my shoulder to find out her destination, but, to my surprise, she opens the front passenger door instead.

“Hop in back,” I tell her. “You’ll be more comfortable.”

“I’ll just hold onto it,” she says,…