Jackson Howell - beachghost_
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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Jackson Howell - beachghost_

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Anatomical Heart and Japanese Eel (2024).
č§Łĺĺżčă¨é°ť (2024)ă

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inspired by the âyour afternoon was already ruinedâ post
Death Star Stormtroopers: âFreeze!â
Han: (panicking, trying to come up with a lie): Woah there donât shoot, uh, you canât shoot us becauseâbecause this guy is Darth Vaderâs son! You donât want to be responsible for shooting Darth Vaderâs own flesh and bone do you?â
Luke: *glares incredulously*
Stormtroopers: âThat is the dumbest thingââ
Leia: (done at this point, absolutely done with this rescue, better than Han at lying) âExactly! Why would we tell you something so phenomenally insane if it werenât true! Why do you think Darth Vader is so obsessed with finding Rebels, huh? Call him heâll tell you!â
Luke: (also done, much better than Han at lying): âOr you could just shoot us; Iâm sure my father, Darth Vader, inventor of the lightsaber, would be thrilled to meet the men who killed his son and his sonâs friends.â *waves lightsaber arrogantly*
Stormtrooper 1: âMaybe we should call this in. I meanâheâs got a lightsaber, so thatâsâthatâs Vader stuff anyway.â
Stormtrooper 2: âare you kidding me right now?â
Leia: *shoots them while theyâre distracted*
Han: ââŚWeâre friends?â
//
Tarkin: âThe rebels said what? You incompetent fool, how could you buy such an absurd stallingââ
Vader: âMyâŚsonâŚâ
Tarkin:
Tarkin: Oh fuck THIS.
Rebel: âGeneral Mothmaâweâre recieving a transmissionâfrom the Death Star!
Darth Vader: This is Darth VaderâI am in command of this space stationâhand over my son or I will destroy your miserable Rebel base personally.
Room Full of Miscellaneous Rebels:
Mon Mothma: ââŚDoes anyone have something they want to tell me?â
Leia:
Luke:Â
Han: [in a whisper] âStop looking at me like that!â
Mothma: âCaptain Solo? Did you haveâŚsomething to share with the room?â
Luke: âI think Iâm going to be sickâ
Han:Â âUh, no your uh Senatorship. Iâm done saying words. Forever.â
Leia: âNow thatâs an even more moronically bold-faced lie than earlier!â
Han: âWell excuse me, princess, it worked didnât?â
Luke: [slightly hysterical] âYeah, it worked, and now Darth Vader thinks Iâm his son!â
Han:Â âHow was I supposed to know the man actually did have a long lost child?! How was anyone supposed to have guessed that?â
Chewie:Â âHhHHURR!â
Han: âOh you stay out of this, I didnât see you coming up with clever suggestions before.â
Luke: [fully hysterical] âDarth Vader KILLED my father, I canât believe I even went along with the lieâwhat would Ben think of meââ
Leia: âNo Luke, donât do that yourselfâthis is Hanâs faultâ
Han: âI saved all our lives! You wanted to go into a trash compactor!âÂ
Leia: âBecause you wandered onto the Death Star with no plan!â
Luke: [curling into a ball] âI just wanted to be a pilotâŚâ
Room Full of Miscellaneous Rebels:
Mothma:Â
Mothma:Â âokay, first of allââ
Han: (being hit over the head repeatedly by Leia, while high command argues about âdiversionary tacticsâ and âbaitâ and ânecessary sacrificesâ) âYou knowâthe Old Manâs the one who came up with the joke in the first place!â
Leia:Â âIâwhat?â
Luke: âYeah but he didnât say in front of stormtroopers! On the Death Star!â
Mothma:Â âIâm sorry when you say old manâwho exactly are you referring to?â
Luke: (miserable) âIt was a stupid joke that BenâI mean Obi-Wanâmade. My aunt and uncle had justâhe was trying to take my mind off things but man, he really was insistent about it.Â
Han:Â âKept repeating it. I donât think he really got jokes, you know.â
Luke:Â âI mean, he was a hermit. For like, twenty years.â
Leia: ââŚSo Obi-Wan Kenobi, told you, Luke, that your father was Darth Vader? Repeatedly? And you just. Didnât believe him. And Vader does.â
Luke: âIâoh. Oh. ButâŚAnakin Skywalker is my father! Ben ALSO said Vader betrayed and murdered him!â
Han: (placing a hand on Lukeâs shoulder) âYou know, you do, uh. Kind-of have to be close to someone to betray them.â
Luke: ââŚNo. Itâit canât be true. Itâs impossible!â
Mothma: Remembering Padme making snarky comments about Ventress (an extremely tall, powerful Sith/Military Leader who dropped out of the public sphere towards the end of the war) and how she couldnât seem to keep her hands off Obi-Wan or Anakin, not that it was any of Padmeâs business.Â
Mothma: âDidâŚdid General Kenobi mention anything about your mother?â
Luke: âNoâŚmy aunt and uncle didnât know who she was, either. Heâhe didnât visit Tatooine much, but at my grandmotherâs funeral he brought a, um, well they described her as âa fancy woman who looked like she didnât get a lot of sun. But. That could really describe anyone, considering they were moisture farmers. Do you thinkâyou think Vader might beâŚâ
Ackbar: (also remembering Ventress) ââŚhas anyone ever asked Darth Vader hisâherâtheirâpreferred pronouns?â
Leia:Â
Misc Rebel Leaders:
Chewbacca:Â
Luke: ââŚI really hate this day.â
Luke, with all the confidence and self-satisfaction of someone who has added two and two and gotten fourteen: Hello, MotherâOr should I say, Ventress?
Darth Vader, who has never been more confused or offended in his entire life: What???
#luke: thatâs right! i know all about you and my fathers. how could you murder your husbands?! #vader: myâŚhusbands? #luke: donât play dumb! i know about you and ben and anakin! #vader: *faulty breathing noises* (via @ellie-you-idiot)
Darth Vader: (at the end of a very long day in which he killed his first Master, learned his child survived, and killed half the leadership of the Death Star: ââŚNo.â Â
Luke: â âŚNo?â Â
Darth Vader:Â âNo. I am your Father. Join me and together we shallââ
Luke: âI will never join you, Father. You killed Ben, and my other father! Iâd rather die!â Â
Darth Vader: ââŚYour motherâs death wasâa tragedyâthe true blame for which rests at the feet of Kenobi.â Â
Luke: âIâokay Iâm still mad about the murders, obviously. But I donât want to keep dead naming or misgendering my parental figures, so before you kill meâbecause youâll have to kill me, because Iâm not joining youâwhat name did my mother choose for herself? And also what pronouns did Ben prefer? Â
Darth Vader: (shattering the floor in rage and confusion): He never told you the name of your MOTHER?!?! Â
Luke: âI agree that wasâŚuncool of him. Still not an excuse for murder.â Â
Han:âIâm trying to respect family boundaries, but I have SO many questions.â Â
Stormtrooper holding Han: âSame.â
Leia: âYeah, those two are not having the same conversation.â Â
Stormtrooper holding Leia: âWell, I think itâs great that Vaderâs son is being so supportive of his parents identities.â
Leia: âI just canât believe Obi-Wan Kenobi would be a homophobeâI feel like weâve made an incorrect assumption somewhere. Maybe Vader wasnât Ventress?â
Stormtrooper holding Han:Â âWell, you might as well askâweâre definitely all going to be killed for overhearing this much.â
Han:Â âAlternate suggestionâif we sneak away while theyâre shouting at each other, maybe we wonât die? The rebels are actually pretty soft on empire deserters.â
Stormtrooper holding Leia:Â âShut up, I canât hear!â
Vader: ââŚI didâŚdestroy Anakin Skywalker. He was weak and IâŚreplaced him.â
Luke: (confused and hysterical) âYou kidnapped me? From Anakin and Padme? And then Ben kidnapped me back? Are you insane? That doesnât make me your son! Not that it matters anyway!â
Vader:Â âYou are my sonâreach out to the force, you know it to be true!â
Luke: âOh godsâyouâmy motherâdid youâŚyou monster!â
Vader: (angry and frustrated) âI feel like you are deliberately misunderstanding me now. We were married. Your mother chose me.â
Luke: (frustrated and angry) âYou said she chose Anakin Skywalker!â
Vader: âYes. Both Anakin Skywalker and Padme Nabariee made their own choices.â
Han:Â âOh PLOT TWIST.â
Stormtrooper holding Han:Â âWait, you followed that?â
Luke: âJust to be clearâno-one is, or was, trans? And whatâs your name? Or is it just Darth? Is Darth a name?â
Leia:Â âHOW DID OBI-WAN KENOBI AND MY PARENTS FIT INTO YOUR POLYCULE?!â
*ALARMS SIGNALING IMMANENT DEATH STAR DESTRUCTION*
[ID: The woman doing math meme, with white, all-caps text at the top that reads: âLeia: knowing that Bail and Breha were **also** in a relationship with Obi-Wanâ End ID]
Stormtrooper previously holding Han, henceforth known as âStormtrooper Aâ: âOh kriff. Oh gods. Oh fuck.â
Leia: âMaybeâŚhear me outâmaybe itâs a cloning thing?â
Luke: âYou think Iâm some kind ofâŚhybrid clone of Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, and, uhââ
Stormtrooper A: âOhdeargods.â
Leia: âPadmĂŠ Amidala Naberrie. Sheâs a legend. If you really do share some of her DNAâthough Iâm still not completely convinced Vader wasnât lying about all or some of what he saidâ
Stormtrooper previously holding Leia, henceforth known as âStormtrooper Bâ or âCarlâ: âVader doesnât really lie. Heâs actually really blunt about things. Usually. I think he was pretty off todayâŚwhat with the whole long lost son thing.â
Luke: âHe was telling the truth, whatever the truth is. I could feel his angerâŚso much anger. I thinkâI think I might really be his son. MaybeâŚcould Vader be Padme? Would that work?â
Stormtrooper A: âOh gods. IâWhat did I DO?â
Han: (awkwardly patting Stormtrooper A on the back)Â âRelax kid, you done good.â
Carl: âMan, I even bet on him being humanâhalf the guys thought he was some kindof droid. Guess theyâre all dead now. So. Doesnât reallyâŚmatter.â
Leia: âIâd say Iâm sorry but considering I lost my entire planet earlier today it would be a bit insincere. And Senator Amidala would never become a fascist. I still canât believe she was willingly involved with one.â
Trooper A:Â âDarth Vaderâhe was justâand Iââ
Carl: ââŚLetâs talk about Lukeâs corellian holodrama parantage again, huh? I feel like that was a safer topic. What if Vader used to be Anakin Skywalker? âKilled a weaker version of myselfâ sounds like the sort of thing a guy like that would say.â
Trooper A:Â âIâm going to die. Weâre all going toââ
Han:Â âENOUGH ALREADY! You hit Darth Vader in the back of the head! We get it! You wanted to live! We all wanted to live! Rebels will probably give you a medal! But news flashâthis ship is too small for four people and if you donât shut up, I will space you.â
Leia: âCan you not yell in my ear?â
Han:Â âOh, excuse me your highness, Iâll just move to the other side of this one-seater tie-fighter. Ohâwait!â
Luke: âNo, my father was a Jedi. Ben would have said if Anakin fell to the darksideâif he became Darth Vader. Hells, Vader would have said that!â
Carl: âIf you say so. Neither of them seem like very clear communicators when it comes to this, if Iâm being brutally honest.â
Leia:Â âMaybe we can talk with Mothma, figure it out logically. The movements of clone wars generals and Senators were both matters of public record. Whatâs your exact birthday?â
Luke: âEmpire Day. The actual day it started, 19 years ago.âÂ
Leia: âHuh. ThatâsâŚan interesting coincidence.â
Luke:Â âYeah. I guess.â
Leia:Â âNo I meanâthatâs my birthday.â
Han: (sarcastically) âMaybe youâre long lost twins!â
Leia:Â âIâI am actually adopted.â
Han: ââŚAnd I am going to stop saying words now.â
(and, to the narratorâs shock, he was still lying.)
Trooper A: âI canât believe the rebellion gave me aâŚmedal.â
Carl: âI canât believe they didnât give me one.â
Han: âFor what? Screaming in Lukeâs ear while he blew up the death star?â
Luke: âBlew up part of the death star. Biggsâ teams had already taken out most of their defenses. I justâŚfinished the job.â
Han: âStill one hell of a shot, kid.â
Trooper A: âThe station really did have a lot of security flaws, didnât it? I meanâŚit was probably going to blow up on itâs own, right? Even if I hadnât gotten insane and betrayed Lord Vader?â
Leia: âSure. Whatever you have to tell yourself. Okay, I got the blood work backââ
Trooper A: âOh gods, Iâm leaving.â
Carl: *refuses to let him leave*
Luke: âWeâre twins, arenât we? As soon as Han said itââ
Leia: ââIt just seemed right.â
Han: âGoing right to freaky force twins telepathy, huh?â
Leia: âI donâtâoh gods, could I haveâŚcould I beâŚâ
Luke: âBen did say the force was strong in my family. Whoever that is.â
Carl: (whispering to Han): âYou really have got to learn to stop with the words.â
Han: *screams internally*
Leia: âIâI canât deal with that right nowâlook, I donât know about ourâŚbirth father, but our motherâs DNA is definitely Nabooianâand Padme Amidala was definitely pregnant around the right time.â
Luke: âLook Leiaâthis has been the craziest, uh 43 hours of my life (holy kriff I need a nap), but youâre awesome, and Iâm thrilled to have you as a sister, and whoever are birth parents are they must have both been at least somewhat good to make someone like you.â
Leia: âOh Luke, you know, I always wanted a broâwait you havenât slept in 43 hours? How are you standing?â
Luke: âMore likeâŚum 59? I think? If getting knocked unconscious by sand raiders counts. The space travel makes it a little confusing.â
Leia:
Leia: ââŚGo to sleep, Luke.â
Han: âGods, you can figure out your parentage later.â
Luke: âLook, Hanâthis has been the worst three days of my life (please let it end), but youâre a good man, and if you want to sleep with my sister and not me I completely supportââ
Trooper A: *hits Luke over the back of the head*
Luke: *immediately falls unconscious*
Han & Leia:
Carl: *chuckles weakly* âLike father like son, huh?â
Han: *picking up Luke* âToo soon Carl, too soon.â
Poorly drawn Spinda
Please- please I have a family-
Dr. Tsunemi Kubodera, with the help of his partner Kyoichi Mori was one of the first scientist to film the giant squid in its natural habitat. They relied on sperm-whale paths to find this squid, as sperm-whales prey on giant squids.
Scientist have learned that the giant squid uses a more agressive hunting style than they thought.
Just imagine what else is still out there.
There is, I think, no arguing that contemporary genre art has a character distinct from previous decades. I also think that while there are big shifts in aesthetics somewhat aligning with each decade of the 20th century, here in the 21st things have definitely slowed down â I feel like the look of genre art has fossilized somewhat in the last 20 years. I donât have a good explanation for why. Sometimes I wonder if Iâm blinded by nostalgia, and that there really arenât any obvious objective differences at all.
Worlds Beyond Time: Sci-Fi Art of the 1970s (2023) is a compelling argument, I think, that there ARE definite differences. The book, by Adam Rowe (and spinning out of his social media accounts dedicated to, well, â70s science fiction art) looks at both artists and thematic categories of art from the period, mostly from paperback covers, and offers commentary and historical context in the text. The result is startling: a body of work by a variety of artists working in their own styles that nevertheless seems visually unified. With the exception of a couple outliers, this stuff all feels of the â70s. The fact that there are some inclusions from both the â60s and â80s makes this even clearer.
I think the most interesting thing about this is how bizarre some of the â70s art seems to be. A lot of these artists appear to be entirely off the leash, delivering work they WANTED to produce rather than what they were directed to produce (you can see a shift toward clearly pairing the cover art with the content of the book in the later part of the decade). There was also more money in the work, then, so speed wasnât quite so big a part of the equation as it is now.
And, greater questions of genre art aside, Worlds Beyond Time is still a mesmerizing collection, worthy of your time even if you just want to feed pictures to your eyeballs.
Some very kind words about my art book!
This tumblr is a great RPG history course, and the author has his own amazing art book out as well, called Monsters, Aliens, and Holes in the Ground: A Guide to Tabletop Roleplaying Games from D&D to Mothership
I have an art book, by the way! WORLDS BEYOND TIME has 400+ illustrations, 100+ artists, lots of jokes and facts. Anyone doing some early holiday shopping should check it out!
This book is awesome
hey man âł I'm the sandman
This belongs in Dead Cell

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