I Lead a Very Sheltered Life

Mostly it was a bite, sure, But y’see, most establishments tend to have money. Now that I’ve got the one though and had a nice chat, not likely to get the other.

You’re right. You’re not.

…I meant that politely, mate.

Just being honest.

Mostly it was a bite, sure, But y’see, most establishments tend to have money. Now that I’ve got the one though and had a nice chat, not likely to get the other.

You’re right. You’re not.

Looks like one.

I guess, but it’s got a crust too, right? So you’d eat it like a pie.

It’s a cousin to pie. But not pie.

Not likely, if that’s your moral stance. [The napkin moves slightly as if he just shrugged, and another bite goes down the hatch.]

What’s that for? Least my job ain’t got much to do with dead folk. Usually.

At least my job doesn’t involve stealing from people!

So long as stealin’ don’t involve graverobbing, I’m just fine with that, mate.

Funny that, so’s my night job. 

[He immediately looks disapproving. Or uncomfortable. Or a mixture of the two.]

What’s that for? Least my job ain’t got much to do with dead folk. Usually.

At least my job doesn’t involve stealing from people!

The lime ones, yes, and chocolate dessert pie. I don’t consider cheesecake a pie, personally.

Looks like one.

Well, no worries then. Must be nice though, eh? Havin’ a day job and a night job, so to speak. 

They pay the bills.

Funny that, so’s my night job. 

[He immediately looks disapproving. Or uncomfortable. Or a mixture of the two.]

Depends on the pie.

Ohh, right, like those lime ones? Or…cheesecake isn’t really pie, is it? I’m never sure.

The lime ones, yes, and chocolate dessert pie. I don’t consider cheesecake a pie, personally.

Exciting life of a piemaker indeed. That don’t cross over into the pies, does it? [He jabs the fork at the plate, in lieu of pointing]

Believe me, I do everything in my power to keep the two separate.

Well, no worries then. Must be nice though, eh? Havin’ a day job and a night job, so to speak. 

They pay the bills.

Keep the delivery pies fresh. [He smiles.]

Depends on the pie.

+1

That was more than he’d expected. “Which ones have you visited?” He could imagine what a few of them were like, but he also had the feeling that whatever he was imagining wasn’t quite the same.

“Not as many as you’d think. I think I’d get in trouble if I went to more of them and…” Got any ideas. “I’ve mostly just gone to Christmas Town.”

“I bet they were thrilled about that.” Ned tried to picture a mix of Halloween and Christmas. The results were somewhat unnerving.

You’ve got a quota for that? Must be exciting, bein’ a piemaker.

I help out a private detective in my spare time.

Exciting life of a piemaker indeed. That don’t cross over into the pies, does it? [He jabs the fork at the plate, in lieu of pointing]

Believe me, I do everything in my power to keep the two separate.

And it’s damn good choice, too.

Generally speaking. I think I’ve already hit my murderer quota for the month.

You’ve got a quota for that? Must be exciting, bein’ a piemaker.

I help out a private detective in my spare time.