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@pickle-angel
PICKLE SYSTEM!
OSDD system.
Odezwa do ex, stalkera i forum.
userboxes:
main
trauma
environment situation
medical
hoping
relationship
fun
war related
inner world

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Hakan:
I have seen many questionnaires but none including history. What a shame..
1. Who is your favourite historical person? everyone would hate me for that but Napoleon and Roosevelt but also recently king Baldwin IV I think? but need to know more about them...
2. What is your country most famous for in history? John Paul II for example
3. What is your country most infamous for in history? no idea and don't wanna know
4. Favourite historical era? victorian times I believe
5. Favourite weapon? uh oh it depends, I used to be very much interested in flintlocks and hidden weapons like those swords in canes
6. Military unit? unsure
7. Historical dressing, uniform or costume? can't choose just one but most I wouldn't wear as I'm more an 80s and 90s gal but boys would prolly choose some from 1900s up, especially after 30s up to 60s
8. What is the last thing you have read/listened/spoke with historical reference? not sure which one was last
9. Favourite historical film? The monuments men based on facts but also one I didn't watch fully yet - Hacksaw ridge, need to watch some more but I'm kind of scared, we started Kingdom of heaven recently though
10. Pieces of art ( paintings, sculpures, lithographies, ect.) related to history you like most ( post an image of them) - I prefer different kind of art
11. Have you participated in reenactment? What it was like? no but I wanted to, just worried we might be triggered...
12. Would you take part in reenactment? In what era and as whom? I would like either victorian times as a man or any world war or Titanic... without the true sinking part
13. Something random about some random historical person in a random era
14. Why you are interested in history ( a silly question, eh?) ? I had additional classes in high school (barely passed) but just enjoy some facts yet also hate dates and names so I fail miserably in that subject
15. Were the history classes teached in an interesting way in your school/ college/ university? What would you do to improve them if you were the teacher / lecturer? nooo, sadly, I would teach more interesting facts instead of just dry dates which are boring and not that important to me
16. Do you own some historical item? ( coin, clothing, weapons, books, ect) If yes which one is your favourite? possibly, I collect vintage stuff but mostly I own old books or stuffed animals from ages ago than anything else, maybe some figurines and mugs but not really clothes
17. What historical item would you like to own? some weapons and furniture for sure
18. Look at the clock and assume the numbers are forming historical year ( 17;58 would be 1758) What was / is / will be the world that year? Any event happened then or will happen? 2249 which is... in the future so who knows what will happen, maybe world won't exist no more
19. Favourite historical book? I never read any... but I liked the vibe of Agatha Christie's autobiography if that counts
20. History crush? nah
21. Historical game? ohhh, I loved some garden ones! hoop rolling, throwing horseshoes, croquet...
22. Random historical fact about the place you are at the moment - personal, won't share where I am
23. Favourite historical song / with such reference? I like the polish song about Titanic a lot
24. Most underrated historical figure? probably plenty, especially hate that women were wiped out, mostly from the Eiffel tower history, a lot of people mention Mozart's sister too
25. Most overrated historical figure in your opinion? no idea who is overrated but I kinda am annoyed by everyone saying they like Anne Frank and won't elaborate on that (I don't say I dislike her!)
26. Forgotten hero we should know about and admire? prolly the one from Hacksaw ridge as I mentioned (Desmond Doss) or a polish woman who saved jewish kids - Irena Sendler
27. Favourite historical “ What if… ” ? what if Hitler was never born but that's probably lame as everyone already thought of that...
28. Favourite “dream team” of specific era or the entire history? The monuments men of course!
29. Great historical mystery you are interested in? it's not very historical nor that great but I always think about Marilyn Monroe's death for example or Kurt Cobain's, besides that Atlantis or what happened to amber room and if Mona Lisa was a man haha
by host
System struggle.
When an alter that is gone drops traits/interests on another alter suddenly changing them so much that they are just... not themselves anymore or just... weird.
<tell me about those experiences if you want>
Dream
Inner world:
So... we all live in one big house. It has basement and 4 levels. Every couple or alter has their own room. I will add more pics of how all levels look like and do aesthetic/moodboards (meaning it is not EXACTLY how it looks like but more a vibe) but it's very antique/vintage in collective spaces like living rooms. We have foyer downstairs - entry from the street that starts in the forest right next to our house and goes to the city.
On the left of foyer there's a kitchen and on the right there's a small dining and door to the basement where we have gym but also Jerry with April, as well as Lio, Lu, Nikita and Pink live there (and there's a tiny toilet too). In the foyer there are two staircases that lead upstairs but, on the front of the entry door, there is another hall where we play games like pool and this hall leads to other rooms - Jacob's, Red's, Benji's and Albert's. At the end of that hall there are two living rooms that have doors to the garden where we feed birds.
Behind garden there's the rest of the forest. We have snow currently.
Second level where stairs lead into there are halls and rooms of some other members (Nat, Bluey with Icarus, Jack, host, Brie with Greg, Maylo with Cyprian, Terry and Picasso) including a place where Jacob sings and plays instruments with Lio (other alters sometimes do that too) and there's a bigger bathroom. Staircase near Maylo's and Cyprian's room go up to the level where another group of alter lives (and yet another bathroom) - John with Shibari, Monty with Marcel, Gru with Dave, Jimmy, Hakan and Brandon with Arnie (who have their own bathrom) - Arnie sometimes plays soccer in the hall and there's a balcony I think? Then last staircase goes to the highest level where the last group lives (Marco with Five, Nin with Koda, Hole, Magos, Afsan, Groke with Tic) and they have their own bathroom and a kitchen but they have also plenty of pillows on the hall's floor there. Last level where a wall ladder leads is a tower with even more pillows and a blanket fort.
Besides the house we have garages, in front of the house (on the other side of the road) where Jacob often sits fixing his cars, ballroom that is an ice rink sometimes where we also practice fighting and stable where Benji keeps his horse. We make other horses using illusion - we create food and belongings like this as well as weapons and some furniture but bigger things only Maylo can make as an architect.
We used to have a swimming pool but now we don't and unsure if we will later. There's a meadow with grain fields where also cows live and you can see water from there (also from the street I mentioned before it turns deeper into the city) with a lighthouse on the rocks. We used to have a ship but it was destroyed by a persecutor and fell into the depth...
Sadly city is awful... It's basically an abandoned and destroyed by war place. Stinky, gross, bloody, dangerous - with broken glass and ruined staircases. We sometimes go scavenging there and possibly will fix it someday so it can be more useful. There's also a beach with palms now there that leads to the water of course instead of the swimming pool.
Somewhere behind the city there's also another part of the forest that Brie has his little house in.
Jimmy
There's also a cemetery with an old ruined church.
Nikita and Bluey update
Around our inner world now there's a wall, very high and dense grey blocks of cement, that protect us from the outside world. In the middle there's a castle/tower of Reason where he lives. He has a bedroom where he puts his heart in a glass box to yell at it.
And Rascal lives in the forest/city.

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Chasing like...
*so we have two songs that start a fun chase in hs wherever we are and whatever we do (don't steal the idea, we were writing about it before actually but it's one of our traditions we came out to actually at first see our house better and now it's just still ongoing if we're in a mood and not tired - rule is simple - spotify randomly turns on that song and you drop everything and go)
whomever is on the front starts to chase whoever is close
yes, we can teleport around the inner world but it's better if we don't
and there are those specific types of runners among us we wanted to mention in the post:
Jack - the parkour guy - he's able to jump above a wardrobe just to avoid you
host - the small lucky one - that managed to run under someone's arm (without actually bowing down) and not be catched by someone today XD
Marcel - the scary chaser - he looks like he's about to kill you :x
Benji - the avoidant - he will do such poses to not get caught and also runs pretty fast
me (Monty) - the scaredy cat - I literally didn't know what to do with myself when cornered (not really cornered, just undecisive as fuck which is funny because usually I'm really good with obstacles)
and Nat... the waiter - waiting for his victim (sometimes more ppl chase so we don't know who is going to attack us as we also don't see who was last touched if fronter already did that and ran off)
*also Nat realised we shouldn't take advantage by turning into animals... but we shall see (skill is a skill)
edited
Jimmy immediately catches someone and nobody can catch him back so no fun unless he won't run too fast
Not many of us stayed so we are going to make a new blog probably. Does it mean those who left will never come back? We don't know. Greg or Maylo came back after years so everything is possible... maybe besides Nin who went apeshit and host is blaming herself.
Do I owe anyone saying who is among those who are still here? Nope. So you will probably never know. I won't even tell you who is typing this last post. For the mystery purposes ;)
But being serious right now... I hope it was the right decision. Worried about Z. changing as well us the rest of us managing with the life from now on especially without some functions. I'm glad not everyone got possesed and possibly fragments we will gain will prevent alters from rejoining us later but it's something we had to do as we were going crazy/possesed today anyway. Maybe it will come a day when Zuz is going to be the only one as it's her life even if some would say she's weak and others should take her place as they deserved it more while being capable of things she did not but I don't care. I stay loyal and understanding towards her. Wish us luck...
forever pickle system
Great, now everybody's arguing. I could stop that by kicking them out but no... Nat said it's good because things will clear out naturally :(
host
I said I want them to stay and immediately Nin said he doesn't want to or smth?...
host
I'm jus happy for the ride.
Jacob
As long as I'm talking to them I already miss them and cry about it. How am I supposed to tell dad what is happening to me? But also... if I get their fragments then they will definitely not come back but Jerry said - lose the potential as it will never happen - and he's probably right as our dreams will never come true so we have to focus on what can truly be...
host

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I don't feel like myself... it's not me, right? Once again I'm like some dumb fusion my therapist wanted me to see, I tried to be one for S. and even M. before just to be "normal" and "liked" but I hate it so much... Can I stop it and how?
host
We're still contemplaiting who is going to leave the system and who's not. I can not stay on my own probably. Maybe it would be the best. They said they've ruined my life so it's unfair to leave but also say they would ruin it further and I also say - hey, you are unhappy here so I am not kicking you out but you also can go if you want - so there's that.
Always when things are going wrong like big changes in the system then I sit on the front most of the time it seems???
Anyway, I obviously want Nat, Jack, John and Brie to stay and Albert is gonna stay but Reason probably has to after Maylo left and Monty might not then Magos as he is helpful and dating John but what if brain will eliminate him on it's own? I won't beg Jacob to be here even if I can't imagine my life without him or Brandon. Hakan begged me to stay despite the fact he would probably have to break up with Jerry and April. We need someone like Red too though so no idea what to do about that. What about Pink tho? He does a lot :( but then again the issue's the same as with Jacob. Marco is arguing he has to be here just in case too. That's why it's so hard to decide. I am not close with some of them despite of them being here for a long time but it doesn't mean I wouldn't miss them or that I am not thankful for them. I am grateful for how much they were doing for us. Sometimes I think some sort of era ended and it's bittersweet. I cherish the memories that aren't even mine but we know we won't make much more better ones anymore as we're trapped in a bad living situation without a way to escape. Would I like to be alone? Dunno. Is the less the better? To whom? Would I need them? Probably. All I know they would seek love, maybe those who would stay would seek love as well and making a next step might completely stop some of us from coming back again which is also terrifying knowing this might be so permanent. It would also change us as people. I feel being pushed/forced/pulled into that like I'm swallowing parts of them thinking - hey, some of those fragments were actually mine - but it also feels gross in away like I am jealous (am not) but as much as it was unimaginable before now it feels a bit... accepting or even natural which is even stranger to me like I am not myself so... would I regret it? Have I actually a choice in that or it's just some fusion thingy? I remember we didn't last long as a few members "club" before so...
host
If it was trauma for you that I pointed out you abused me then imagine how traumatic it was for me to be abused then be brave enough to say it out loud to you :)
host
I'm not going to forgive anyone. You all deserved it. You all were worse than me. You all deserved it worse than you've got from me. I am not the best but you only prove you didn't deserve anything good from me from the start so there's that. I shouldn't try to understand nor give you any second chances. You're clearly bad and I hate you all. Hope that helps :)
You've ruined me completely. I tried my best but you did not and I'm not going to believe that anymore. I am traumatised because of you and yet you demand me to be nice about it all? I won't be. I could be worse. I could be meaner. I didn't have to be small nor perfect for you to like me. I didn't have to try so hard and even if I brought some of that upon myself on my own - it's because I cared about you more than you ever did about me. It's on me. You never loved me anyway. Not really. Now I won't pretend I wasn't broken. I won't hide and be silent. I won't tolerate what isn't good for me even if I'm hard to deal with now because of you all. Those are consequences of your actions mostly - not mine. I'm too anxious and sensitive now to talk to anybody anymore as you poisoned me. I don't have to feel guilty for that. I don't have to feel ashamed. I don't have to punish myself. I still work on myself hard to be better but I don't have to please everybody but myself. I know I'm unstable but only because I constantly wanted to see something good in you all yet I can not as it's impossible to someone who isn't ingorant and who was abused by ya'll. Maybe I will be alone forever but it's better than with any of you. So fuck yourselves!!! :)
host
Nin

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Jest dopiero 12.30 i już nie mam co robić...
To znaczy mam - sprzątnąć pokój, porysować, porobić bransoletki, obejrzeć Terminatora, poczytać książkę, ale nie mam sił ani ochoty na nic.
Czyżbyśmy tylko potrafili żyć dla innych? Brakuje nam rozmów.
Nin
It's super cold but I am still on the front because there's not many of us and I barely ever have control over the body besides bed and bath due to lack of warmth. Nobody even knows what I like to listen to nor ever heard me singing even though I am not a fan of that to be honest.
Albert