soph

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

SOPH— 19, passion writer, she/her,

🎼— Kacey Musgraves, Sabrina Carpenter, The Neighborhood

🎥— tslomw, Marie Antoinette, Cruella, Alice through the Looking Glass, Annie (2015)

masterlist

so so so sorry i haven’t been on here much recently, a lot has been happening in my life at the moment and i haven’t had time to come and update my blog.

i also wanted to add that i’ve definitely been feeling unmotivated lately. I know I just hit 100 followers, which is amazing!!!! but I feel like people just follow me to see my fics and don’t actually want to see me as a person. like, when i ask for fic requests and ideas….. no one ever responds. i hope you guys understand.

so, yes. in short, i am taking a step back from tumblr. i think this is something i’ve already been doing, but just wanted to tell everyone so you don’t think im ghosting y’all.

besides the negative, a lot of really positive things have happened. i’m kind of talking to this guy (!!!!!) my grades are pretty good right now, and i’m prepping for end of year testing whenever i’m not winding down. also, just got a new (to me) car which is very exciting!!!!!

as far as posting goes, i may post every once in a while when I feel like it, but not as often as i was.

will smith hockey x reader

maybe it’s when the trees started losing their leaves? or when will started invisibly holding you closer?

whatever it was, it felt like too much.

it felt like you were running from something you shouldn’t be. or someone.

but after so long pushing those feeling down because you thought some beautiful slim blonde girl would get his attention quicker, those feelings could never be the same.

the same as in, how they were.

in his rookie year, things were amazing. and it’s weird to say that, because, it was a rookie year. things should have been hard. and taken a toll on your relationship. but it didn’t.

you started to get used to the travel days, and millions of goodbyes.

the eyes always watching, fans following your account.

but then, things got bad.

when you finally decided to hard launch your relationship, there was a lot of things people had to say.

some where kind. comments like, ‘they’re so cute!’, or ‘i’m so jealous…’.

but then, there were other ones. because of course there were.

people started coming for you. maybe it was because of the way you looked. or maybe it was because you both know you aren’t good enough for him.

but the moment you let those flood gates open, and those thoughts made their way into your reality, everything began to crumble.

it ate you alive because you know will didn’t deserve it. he needed someone to be there for him when the sharks lost and he needed a shoulder to cry on.

but that wasn’t you. not anymore.

because once those words set in and found solace in what had been, you’d changed.

and you couldn’t take that back.

will: i’m starting to get worried baby. is everything okay?

will: please answer me

will: you’re scaring me

will: baby?

divider by @uzmacchiato

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while this idea is amazingggggggg, i don’t think ill be writing for quinn anymore after the choices he made. there are soooo many amazing fics following this exact storyline, so im sure you can find one that properly tickles your fancy!!!!

quinn hughes x fem!reader

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a little note: listen. I started this way before everything happened, and never got around to finishing it. i want to out this out a little bit as closure for me, as embarrassing as it sounds. i’m letting it go, moving on. bye bye qh. it was nice while it lasted. probably my last quinn fic🫠🫠🫠

Quinn is like a whisper. Gentle, soft, leaves too soon.

But when you do have him, you cherish him. Every single moment is spent trying to memorize everything.

He reminds you of when you would visit the beach as a child. Sunburnt skin, salty air, calming waves that would reach the hem of your towel and dampen it.

He was your ocean. Or lake. Or pond. Whatever. The thing holding you down and keeping you sane.

Your gravity.

But you couldn’t have him, you’d both agreed. He’s at the peak of his career, just traded teams, still figuring out how to function on his own.

And you were doing the same. New job, new faces, trying to make new friends.

Quinn was the calm in the storm.

It was a quiet invitation. Him whispering “come with me to the lake house” right before you fell asleep, your back pressed against his stomach in some hotel room of his.

You were hesitant at first, not saying anything.

Would it just be the two of you? Did he want to take this a step further and introduce you to his family? No way.

But, of course, Quinn could sense your mind filling with questions, and quickly added detail.

“right after the season closing, a week into off-season. not the family one, just me and jacks. made sure no one will be there.” He whispers, gently like he’s trying to soothe and convince you at the same time.

You swallow, taking it all in. You see flashes of what you think the lake house might look like. Picket fence, grand pool, large kitchen island and all. But then you picture Quinn. Sitting on the dock with a seltzer next to him, looking over his shoulder with a smirk as you walk down the dock to sit next to him.

And that’s the reason you say yes.

The plane ride over was actually nice. He got you both first class, ensuring you were away from any unwanted nosey eyes, and in a quiet space since it was a red-eye.

The flight attendant definitely recognized him when she told you the breakfast choices. You could see it click in her mind while she was halfway into saying ‘bacon egg and cheese’. But she composed herself and carried on, whispering something like ‘your secrets safe with me’ as her eyes darted between the two of you.

It’s not that Quinn is embarrassed of you, he really just wants to keep you all to himself. His whole life is shared with the hockey world, who he trains with, what eats before every game, embarrassing photos from childhood.

But you were his little secret. He got thrill from sneaking around with you, both of you giggling about how stupid the paparazzi is for not noticing you two sooner.

But sometimes it was more than that. You felt conflicted more often than you felt loved. A lot of the time, he would deny you. Fans would see you two out together. Or talk about how they saw you leaving his apartment complex, and he would tell you about how his parents ask about the ‘mysterious girl’.

He would say that he would respond with things like ‘ah- don’t worry about it’. Like that was supposed to make you feel better about it all.

It didn’t. Because, of course it didn’t. Being someone’s secret never feels good. Especially now.

The lake house was almost just what you imagined. Definitely furnished by Ellen, never before seen childhood photos hung in regular spots.

It was pretty big too. You wondered what the family lake house looks like if this is just Quinn and Jacks.

He shows you up to his bedroom, making sure to say his instead of implying you could sleep anywhere else.

His room was soft on the eyes, mostly white with hints of navy blue in the wall decor and decorative pillows. It was more than enough room for the both of you, and of course, connected to a large on suite bathroom that was almost as big as your apartment back home.

The big windows next to the bed showed a view of the pool, also large like everything else, and behind it was the lake.

When you saw it for the first time, in its entirety, it captivated you. It was blue, like the ocean but never ended and was surrounded by trees and lush bushes. Then sun beamed down on it and reflected back towards you, only letting you stare for a few seconds before your eyes had to let go.

“Yeah, my rooms view is amazing. Jack and I fought over it when we first bought the place, but i’m the oldest so…” He chuckles, watching you take it all in from behind you.

When you turn around, you see him occupying himself with something else. He starts to unpack your suitcase, placing every item in the place it belonged most.

Your perfume and makeup bag sat on top of the dresser, it looked like oak, stained with a silky chocolate brown color.

The smirk on his face made the moment even more simpler. It’s the one he always has. Gentle, endearing, but a bit devilish. You’ve seen it in pictures like ‘his first hockey game’, when he tells you stories about his brother teasing him for burning the hot dogs, or when he’s whispering how much he loves you into your neck when you’re under him.

When you’re sitting poolside listening to some random country playlist that’s mostly morgan wallen, you realize what you’re in.

This thing. This relationship. It’s all a bit confusing.

Behind closed doors, he’s sweet. But every person has sweet moments, that doesn’t make them good.

And then there’s times where he completely disregards you. When it’s the middle of a make out sesh and he suddenly gets a call from his mom at 11pm. He immediately picks it up, and walks out of the room without a word.

Different. Suddenly when he yells at you for not understanding why you want more out of the relationship, he isn’t that sweet boy anymore.

That combined with the secrecy makes you uneasy.

with a little pre pregnancy happenings -not proof read!-

when you finally get married and spend the first night at the hotel during your honeymoon, he brings it up. asking things like ‘when should we start trying for a little bear?’ instead of ‘baby’ because he doesn’t wanna scare you or stress you out in any way.

You tell him you want to wait a bit so you can settle down, but he says he wants to start asap (but he says whenever you want because again, he doesn’t wanna pressure you) he understands that you wanna find a nice house, get used to married life, figure out the logistics of it all, and then start.

Like, 6 months after the wedding, his mom and sister take you out on a girls day and you all go out to eat at a nice restaurant. charlie (his sister) would have maybe just gotten proposed to so they use the dinner as an excuse to celebrate that, but in reality they just really want to know when you and mack are going to start trying for a baby.

they’re so nice about it too, kind of trying to blame it on mack, saying things like ‘has mack been bugging you about having a baby yet?’ but always being conscious about you. they try to read you first to make sure you don’t have any issues with them bringing it up that could mean something else, but in the end you’re like ‘he just says whenever i’m ready’ and they completely support you.

When you do start trying for a baby, i think he would ask first, but ultimately start asking his mom a lot of things because he’s nervous he’s going to do something wrong. he’s such a mommas boy that he just comes to her and is like ‘i don’t wanna hurt her (you)’ and ‘wait if things go bad?’. he’s such a worrier that his mind automatically goes to the bad things but his mom reassures him and tells him things will all work out and that she and the rest of his family are all there for you two.

two years and 3 months after you get married, it’s finally time to start trying and he’s nothing but attentive. he definitely asks his dad if he knows about any supplements that help with fertility because he wants the best to happen and his dad is in the medicine realm of work.

the supplements must have worked because a month later those two pink lines are there and bright!!! it could also be because you two are so young, or just good luck.

you take the test with him after he tells you he just ‘had a weird feeling’ about things recently, and what do ya know it’s positive.

you find out in early march, which would mean the baby would be due sometime in november which isn’t exactly the best thing because that’s when the season is in full swing, but you can’t do anything about it now!

he definitely starts crying and just hold you close for a good 15 minutes, and then he’s like ‘we gotta tell my family’ because he knows how much you love them and vice versa.

his mom and sister cry, because it will be the first grandchild, and his dad and brothers are all just as excited (minus the crying).

the whole pregnancy, he’s doing everything he can to learn about your body and the babies. he tries his best to understand just so that some of the stress to carry everything gets taken off of you. he signs you up for ‘pregnancy couples yoga’, and ‘couples pregnancy grounding’ as well as a ‘what to expect’ class which he actually takes notes in. you think it’s adorable how much he cares.

the actual pregnancy isn’t easy. you get morning sickness almost everyday, and it’s not just in the morning, braxton hicks start as early as possible, and your feet swell up like two times as much as they were before.

all in all, your uncomfortable. and mack can see it. he tries his best to comfort you and tell you how beautiful he thinks you are, but it doesn’t change anything.

there are many nights were he just holds you (as much as he can) with a calm hand on your swollen belly, and whispers words of encouragement while quiet tears fall down your cheeks.

when he is away, his mom definitely comes and spends time with you so nothing happens when you’re alone. and of course, she the most gentle person on earth. she’ll rub your feet, go shopping for new baby clothes, or even just let you vent about how you feel.

you both wanted to know the gender, but decided not to do a big baby shower or gender reveal because you hadn’t been feeling the best lately. mack wanted a girl, and you wanted a boy, but either way you would both be happy. mack wanted a girl because he said it would ‘remind him of you’, and that ‘he wants to raise strong women’, (which was adorable) but you kind of knew deep down that he wanted to have a boy soooooo bad. you wanted a boy for him too, so maybe one day he could play pro hockey with the celebrini name. not that a girl couldn’t, but he was positive a boy would want to.

on the way over to the ultrasound, he’s nervous as ever. palms sweaty, fidgeting with his hair, bitting his nails. you try your best to tell him things would work out either way and he just nods. when the ultrasound tech asks what you two are hoping for, the nerves get to mack and you both say boy. you shake your head, smiling because you knew all along that’s what he wanted. his head is laying against your shoulder the whole time your on the table, because he says he thinks you should look first. when the ultrasound tech moves the screen closer to you, you know it’s time. and it’s a boy! you turn and whisper to mack that’s it’s a boy, and he immediately starts crying again.

when it comes to picking names, you both don’t know where to start. you could do a family name, but not something too traditional. mack likes names like levi and lennox, things that may be common but aren’t supper popular. he also throws out names like scottie, or wayne.

one day, he tries to convince you to like names that relate back to canada and hockey like atlin, henri, and even sidney. which you’re like ‘we are not naming our baby after crosby’ and he’s all pouty for the rest of the day.

in the end, you decide to have a few names that you like, but not have anything set. what if you decide on scottie and he comes out looking more like an atlin?

mack starts telling everyone to just call the baby ‘bear’, because that’s what he calls him.

and then comes the time to start planning for birth. you told mack the day you got pregnant you are getting the epidural, and he did not try to fight it. he would never want to see you in so much pain if you both could do something about it.

you wanted the hospital room to be quiet, and not have many lingering family members or friends. he understood that too. well, really, he just nodded his head at anything you said because he wasn’t going to fight with pregnancy hormones.

a week before your actual due date, you start feeling very strong pressure. it started in the night, at about 4 am, and you were nervous to wake mack up because he had an early game next morning. when you did, he tried to comfort you best as possible, taking everything seriously. when it started getting uncomfortable and borderline painful, reality started to set in and he called his mom. she had been staying close by in a nice air bnb in case something like this happened, and just to be there for you to help when the baby comes.

she comes over and tries to help relieve some pain and lighten the mood, but mack’s pacing around the room and practically shaking, which just makes you even more anxious. his mom tells him to come and try counter pressure, so he presses down on your hips which helps a ton, but he’s like ‘i don’t wanna hurt you’.

she leaves an hour later because things are finally under control, but you’re bracing yourself for your water to break.

while your sitting up straight in bed, hand on your lower back because that’s why hurts the most, mack is at the foot of the bed rubbing your feet and kissing your toes. he knows this may be the last time he can take it all in, and just be there for you before everything turns chaotic and scary.

you finally get back to sleep an hour or so later, the pregnancy pillow separating you and mack so he unfortunately can’t cuddle you. that’s doesn’t stop him from laying a hand on your belly and rubbing soft circles on it for the last time.

when he wakes up to a warm liquid flowing against his leg, and you panicking next to him, he knows it’s time. it’s 7am now, so not much later after you were complaining about pressure which he realizes now was early labor. he immediately helps you out of bed, helps you change, starts timing your contractions (which hurt way more than you were anticipating), grabs your hospital bag, and calls his mom again.

she’s ecstatic, glad everything’s going normally, and that the pain is at a minimum right now. she says she’ll call and tell the rest of his siblings, so he can focus on you and solely you for now.

the ride over to the hospital feels like a century when you’re in as much pain as you’re in right now. mack is trying his best not to speed, and pay attention to you, trying to reassure you that he’s almost there and everything’s okay.

you’re in labor for about 15 hours, and get the epidural sometime in the beginning of it all. once that happens, oh god is it smooth sailing. you’re on a high knowing the worst has passed and now you’re on the perfect track to meet baby bear. mack is still nervous as can be, but stay by your side the whole time. his parents come and visit at 10 am and stay for a while just to help distract you because they know how nervous you are about it all.

after pushing for 45 minutes or so, baby bear is delivered perfect and healthy on november 3rd at 10:50 pm. mack is trying his best not to completely loose his mind with how proud of you he is, combines with how scared he is and was. he’s definitely crying into your shoulder, kissing your temple, whispering how proud he is and how much he loves you.

the moment baby bear lays skin to skin on your chest, it all becomes clear. life makes sense, you’ve found your everything in him, and mack.

you almost know immediately that the name levi fits best, and mack is glad to hear he had a good idea when it came to naming the baby, even if you didn’t wanna admit it at first.

Levi Bear Celebrini

It couldn’t be more perfect.

Adjustments

intro

It all started with an email.

One small email from some unknown athlete manager that started it all.

Subject: Personal Stylist Enquiries

Ms. Angel,

My name is Allen Guttier and I just wanted to get some more information about how you take applications for clients at Modish. I have recently been working alongside a sports player in the NHL that plays here in New Jersey, as a Manager. My client and I are interested in hiring a Personal Stylist for the 26-27 Hockey Season.

Please let me know if you are still taking applications, or if you are not available in the provided time span.

Best,

Allen.

At first, I thought it was a prank.

I just graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, and especially wanted to be a personal stylist.

Well, really any job in fashion would suffice. But to get a job offer like this not even a a year after graduating was…. impressive, impractical, and nearly impossible.

But I did it. Of course I did.

Maybe all of those videos on Social Media to promote myself worked after all?

And, he used Angel. Only my Social Media accounts have that display name.

I can’t get too ahead of myself though. I know my boss, Tessa would flip if I took a client on the spot without consulting her.

So, I send a reply.

Reply

Subject: Personal Stylist Inquiries

Mr. Guttier,

I’m so happy you reached out!

As much as I would love to take you up on your offer immediately, in order to apply for a Personal Stylist, you would need to reach out to my Boss directly first. Then, you would have your client fill out a form to best get to know him, and we will match him with a stylist who will perfectly cater to his needs.

My bosses email is [email protected]. You should be able to reach her there. Let me know if not.

Thank you,

Angel

Simple. Clean. Sum things up.

And then, a few minutes later.

Reply

Subject: Personal Stylist Inquiries

Angel,

Maybe I should have clarified this.

My client has specifically asked for me to reach out to you. He does not want to hire anyone else from your company besides you. I wish I could tell you why, but we are just wanting to apply for your survives at the moment.

Thank you again,

Allen.

Okay, what the fuck.

So, first, this professional hockey player must be familiar with my content. Otherwise, they would have no idea who I am.

Second, am I dreaming?? A special request for me????

Third, what does a hockey player even need a personal stylist for? Planning an outfit to go out and drink beers with the boys? New designer swimsuits for lake days in the offseason?

“Tessa!?” I call out from my desk. She should be in the next room over, probably curating her next pinterest board for the summer collection.

A few moments later, I hear her heels click down on the concrete floor. The office is small, but everything echoes off of the floor.

I’m lucky I landed this job in the first place. Tessa saw some weird potential in me and said she needed a ‘new and young opinion’.

As of now, I didn’t technically have an official job here. Tessa kind of made a job for you.

I was the ‘creative director’ of Modish, the company Tessa started when she was my age about 7 years ago. But because as of now it was just me and Tessa, she was the CEO, and I was sort of everything else.

“What’s up, Angel?” She asks, adjusting her plum colored Mui Mui glasses.

“I- I got an email about a new client. Thought I should show it to you.”

Her brows pull forward in a furrow, and she walks closer, leaning against my desk to look down my mackbook and read the email.

“I told him he’d have to contact you first, but…”

“Yeah, no. That’s…weird.”

Then, there’s a pause.

“Is that something you’d want to do?” She asks, moving back now.

And, when I really think about it, I don’t know. I mean, it sounds pretty awesome. Probably good pay, my first gig, styling some rich professional sports player. But my stomach also kind of twist. What if I do a bad job and he doesn’t like what I put him in?

This could determine a lot in my life.

In my head, if all goes well, I could get a big break. This could jumpstart something bigger. Outside of this little office with Tessa even though I love her to pieces.

When the worlds of a pro sports player and a new fashion grad somehow collide, a strict ‘co-worker’ relationship becomes sew much more than it was supposed to be.

Adjustments: Intro

the hello

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a little note: ok, tumblr is being really silly right now. it wouldn’t save any song i added, so no song for this one! but i do recommend listening to prey by the neighborhood. also, so sorry for the long wait, ive been feeling pretty unmotivated recently🥲🥲 i anticipate only one more part after this, so let me know if you have any ideas for it!!

The hotels bed sheets are surprisingly soft. Softer than the ones you and luke have at your apartment.

You try your best not to think about him. If you do anymore, you’d get a headache and run back home to forget everything.

The bed would be comfortable if you weren’t practically lying in a puddle of your own tears.

First because of what he said. Then because now you’re stating to feel bad for leaving. He seemed desperate at the door. He should’ve felt that when he spoke those unforgivable words.

Back home, Luke is back on the bedroom floor contemplating if he should look at your location and go find you, or let you have a night to yourself so you can both cool off.

He hates himself for what he said. He hates himself for crying so hard he has to try and catch his breath.

But most of all, he hates how much he hurt you.

He knows it’s all his fault. This all happened because of him.

But he also knows he’s taking his own anger out on you. Something he’s always promised he wouldn’t do.

He wants to follow you, to hold you and whisper how stupid and disgusting he feels right now just to make you happy.

But he won’t. Because he knows it’s the right thing to do. No matter how much he wants otherwise.

So, yeah. Maybe he’s moved on and is wondering if he should call one of his brothers. But the question is, who?

He knows Jack has always thought this would end badly for him. And he was so close to proving him wrong. He can’t come back now and show him just how right he was.

And then there’s Quinn. Quinn’s been a bit more supportive. But who knows what he’s doing right now. Sleeping, cooking, reading. The regular rotation of things that home-body does.

So it’s Jack.

He’s at his apartment. Either making out with a girl he picked up at a bar, or laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Luke knew he would pick up no matter what.

He tries to quiet himself before calling his brother, not wanting to embarrass himself, or scare him.

“What?” Jack answers, already sounding annoyed.

“I- god, I fucked up, man.” Luke sighs. Thinking about it brings back all of the emotions from earlier, and the pit in his throat starts to form again.

He tells Jack what happened. How he let the pressure get to him, and ruined everything. Of course, Jack pulls the ‘I told you so’, because of all the times he and Quinn tried to convince him that having a girlfriend definitely wasn’t the best idea for him right now. But then, he was surprisingly honest. He gave pretty good advice, called him a total asshole, but understood why you felt the way you felt.

“I dunno how you’re coming back from this, Lukey. I would dumped your ass too.”

And that made everything worse.

It’s like Luke was going through all of the stages of grief at one. Except, there was no acceptance in his case. Just sadness.

His sobs start coming back, loud enough that he cants even hear Jack trying to comfort him on the other end.

An hour later, and Jacks still trying to calm his brother. Now at his apartment, with his hand on his back. Trying to do that thing his mom did when Luke was a baby and would cry when she didn’t hold him. Except now, the feeling is different, and Luke feels like his whole world is shifting.

You’re fast asleep now. Your phone sits on the bedside table with a message from Jack sent shortly after he got to Luke’s place.

jack