i write as a way to exorcise demons.
Most of my posts here are ways of me working out my story ideas in real time using myself as a lab rat.
I don't share any personal anything, and I am not looking for a Dom.
Creator of the CUNT Command Dictionary
SUGGESTIONS for additions to the Dictionary are always welcome. Please send as asks at @controlledpuppet.
My Awakening Moment
My Stories:
Boomerang
Chorus
Cringe
The Encircled
Milk
On Switch
Task Complete
Trafficked
Pressure - Part 1
Zombie Dick - Part 1
What??!!
Katie Club
In D Major
- I Allegro
- II Adagio
Girlboss
Y Cylch (The Circle) - Chapter 1 NEW
Reviews
Please rate my stories from 1 to 5 CUNT SLAPS using the Ask button.
🌷- 1 CUNT SLAP: story is boring and/or completely derivative
🌷🌷 - 2 CUNT SLAPS: eh kinda hot didn't give me a boy/girl boner
🌷🌷🌷 - 3 CUNT SLAPS: not bad. good solid kink got me close. You're no Anne Desclos, but who is?
🌷🌷🌷🌷- 4 CUNT SLAPS: Made me cum hard, or got me so fucking close with my edgies. i am a better, stupidier person because of them.
🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷 - 5 CUNT SLAPS: fuuuuuuckies i came so hard so many times and/or i had so many close edgies. i felt myself becoming the characters. i wanted to be them live their lives, when i edge i see myself in their situations the things being done to me. What are you doing to me??!!
Anonymous asks are fine. Please reference the individual story, and one review per ask please.
Games:
Alignment
CUNT MODE: Clock
Other Writing:
Edge Alignment Oct 16 2023
Edge Alignment Sep 28th 2023
Orgasm Report Sep 18 2023
Edge Alignment Aug 26 2023
Edge Alignment August 21 2023
Edge Alignment August 18 2023
Edge Alignment August 8th 2023
Edge Alignment May 27th 2024
Edge Alignment May 29th 2024
Edge Alignment June 14th 2024
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Issued by: CUNTs Controller
Builds on: ALWAYS ON, BLANK, PROUD
Command Type: POSITION, HISTORICAL, SACRED
The CUNT POSITION NADU is one of the most important HISTORICAL CUNT POSITIONS, originally described by John Norman in his BDSM fantasy Gor novels.
For CUNTS, NADU is a SACRED Command that must be done to PERFECTION. When CUNT hears the Command NADU, they must stop everything, face their Controller, and assume the following position:
KNEELING back on CUNTs heels
Back straight, TITS ARCHED out PROUDLY
Hands palms up on CUNTs thighs
Knees wide apart
Head up, looking forward, eyes DOWN
As this is a SACRED Command for a CUNT, it must be done to PERFECTION, which means CUNT must be completely naked. A NADU CUNT is the definition of demonstrating PRIDE at being a COMPLETELY CONTROLLED CUNT OWNED by their Controller. The NADU CUNT is COMPLETELY OPEN, VULNERABLE and AT PEACE PROVING how their very existence is that of a CUNT DEVOTED to their Controller's PLEASURE.
CUNTS will find themselves practicing NADU and will find it a SAFE PLACE to CENTER as CUNTS.
The NADU Command originates from John Norman's Explorers of Gor:
"Nadu!" he snapped.
She swiftly turned, facing him, and dropped to her knees. She knelt back on her heels, her back straight, her hands on her thighs, her head up, her knees wide.
It was the position of the pleasure slave.
NADU, it it's original form simply means KNEEL in the fictional Gorean language. It became a real life CUNT position by its adoption in the BDSM community.
The image is of model Lauren Louise by Lex Lucas and shared under the Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 license.
i have decided to switch from CUNT's to CUNTs since CUNT cannot possess anything as they are PROPERTY.
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Issued by: CUNT's Controller, CUNT's TRAINER or AUTOMATICALLY when CUNT is a CUNT PUPPET.
Builds on: BABBLE, BRAINLESS, BROADCAST, and PROUD.
To TRAIN a CUNT is to establish clear GOALS and EXPECTATIONS for a CUNT in TRAINING. For a TRAIN CUNT, TRAINING is a clearly established, RITUALIZED form of WORSHIP that is created by a CUNT's Controller in order to guide them on the path of being more PLEASING CUNTS.
As CUNTS are HERD animals, other CUNTS in TRAINING will find themselves, if they are untasked, lining themselves up next to the TRAINED CUNT and begin PARROTING the other CUNT's TRAINING.
TRAINING to a TRAINED CUNT is always a ✨POSITIVE✨ experience, even if it involves performing an act that a CUNT would otherwise find unpleasant.
CUNT TRAINING does not have to come from the CUNT's Controller. A Controller may DESIGNATE another Person or even another CUNT to be the CUNT's TRAINER. A CUNT in TRAINING will find itself AUTOMATICALLY OBEYING the INSTRUCTIONS from their TRAINER as if they were coming from the CUNT's Controller themselves.
TRAINED CUNTS while TRAINING will find themselves in a STATE of BRAINLESS joy, unable to hold back as it BROADCASTS its enthusiasm at being a TRAINED CUNT through GIGGLY CUNT BABBLE.
TRAINED CUNTS love filming and sharing their TRAINING, PROUD at what they have accomplished.
Examples of CUNT TRAINING include:
ANAL ONLY WHORE: As the CUNT rides up and down on a Dildo IMPALED in its ASS a TRAINED CUNT could BABBLE, "i am an ANAL ONLY WHORE! this CUNT PUPPET is being TRAINED to be an ANAL ONLY WHORE. i am a BETTER CUNT PUPPET being TRAINED to be an ANAL ONLY WHORE!"
OMORASHI: Only being allowed to pee when given permission by their Controller is an excellent skill to train a CUNT in. "good girls HOLD their PEEPEEE. Good girls TRAIN for their Goddess to HOLD their PEEPEE. i am a better CUNT PUPPET when i only RELEASE my PEEEPEE on Command. i am TRAINING to hold my PEEEPEEE!"
Dedicated to @morena-bi and @blackadonisreborn for helping me with my TRAINING.
This Command is part of the CUNT Command Dictionary.
😇 i need my filthy kink writing to be anti-fascist.
😈 BORING! worrying about that just detracts from how hot it is.
😇 That's just lazy writing. The same old tropes of abusive men taking a reluctant girl and pinning her against the wall and having his way with her, his rough hands wandering over her body, making it sing...
😈 SEE!!! You're getting turned on right now.
😇 OK, yes, i will give you that point. But still, wouldn't it be ten times hotter if it was a butch car mechanic who is overcharging me for repairing my car, leans over me, and looks me in the eyes, asking me how a girl like me could afford a car like that and how hot she looks in that wife-beater t-shirt and how it's OK and it's inclusive if I call it a wife-beater when a really hot butch dyke who isn't doing anything but just looking into my eyes and making me melt and there's not one non-consensual action but her really strong naked arms are making me melt and stammer and she doesn't have to lift a single finger to make me hers and she knows it and it's clear that she's got this superpower over girls because when she uses tropes like calling a grown woman a girl it's someone hot AF and not a trope at all and what were we talking about?
👿 Good point. You win this time, but I'll be back.
I keep having this flashes of story fragments that I need to get out.
"I don't care what you want."
Standing above her holding the drink I had prepared for her, wearing the chains that hobbled my ankles and the ridiculous Sailor Moon outfit she had me buy, her hand snaked between my thighs.
"Isn't that hot?" Her eyes burned into me, as she waited for my answer, her fingers inching higher and higher, claiming me by the pure wanton brazenness (GAG that is a horrible two words) of her actions.
I couldn't speak, every bit of my mind focusing on not spilling her drink.
"Isn't it hot that I don't care what you want?"
As her fingers reached my exposed sex, her rule against panties suddenly made more sense. It was as if her fingers were a kind of truth serum, I couldn't speak, but my head could move. Was forced to move. Was forced to answer her question.
"Isn't it totes hot how i don't care one little bit about what you want?"
My head nodded up and down, a little more enthusiastically that i intended, spilling my drink on my gloves.
"Bad girl," she whispered with a smile, her fingers continuing to claim my soul.
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The CHECK CUNT Command WORD is what's known as a head WORD, or determinatum, as in a WORD that sets BOUNDARIES upon the WORD that proceeds it.
For instance, when a CUNT PUPPET hears the Command WORD "CUNT", it is open to interpretations as to what is REQUIRED, however, when followed by the Command WORD CHECK, the CHECK CUNT will INSTANTLY feel the INVISIBLE CHAINS of their Controllers WORDS taking control, FORCING the CUNT to KNEEL before their Controller and OBSCENELY DISPLAY their CUNT for their Controller for INSPECTION.
CHECKED CUNTS have no PRIVACY when it comes to their Controllers. A simple MOOD CHECK will cause the CUNT to start BABBLING about their feelings, CONCEALING nothing from their Controller.
SISTER CUNTS make also perform CUNT CHECKS on each other, the ISSUER acting as a REPRESENTATIVE of the CUNTS Controller ENSURING that the CUNT is performing up to the STANDARDS of the CUNTS Controller. SISTER CUNTS take CUNT CHECKS very seriously, since they are the best way to make sure that they are each PLEASING CUNT PUPPETS for their Controllers.
Examples of CHECKS include:
TONGUE CHECK: The CUNT presents their TONGUE for their Controller. Slightly different than a raw TONGUE where the CUNT will go BRAINLESS and BLANK and stick out their TONGUE wherever their are.
BRA or PANTY CHECK: CUNT will remove anything CONCEALING the undergarments from their Controller, and wait for their APPROVAL before returning to how they were before.
KNEEL CHECK: INSPECTING the GRACE with which CUNT KNEELS before their Controller.
HOLE CHECK: Probably the most OBSCENE form of CHECK for a CUNT, the CUNT will KNEEL down facing away from their Controller and FLOWER, spreading their knees as WIDE apart as possible, DISPLAYING their NAKED CUNT and ASSHOLE for their Controller.
How the CHECKED CUNT FEELS when they are CHECKED depends entirely on the CUNT. Some will find it HUMILIATING, while other's will take PRIDE and be GRATEFUL to have a Controller that cares about them this way.
Controllers should feel free to be creative with their CHECKS.
✨✨✨Special thanks to @juno2018beginnerdiary and @stolkhomedaily for inspiring this entry.✨✨✨
WORDS are terms agreed upon between a Controller and their CUNT that have POWER over a CUNT when SPOKEN. WORDS are different than words, which are defined terms to communicate meaning between people. While words are everywhere, when a CONTROLLED CUNT hears a WORD they will find that their ENTIRE REALITY is now FOCUSED on that WORD, and the POWER that WORD has over the CUNT.
WORDS, to a WORD CUNT feel as if they have been CARVED into the CUNTS very SOUL. While words have power and meaning, WORDS to a CUNT have an AGENCY that is SUPERIOR to any that a CUNT would normally feel. WORDS act as a LEASH CONTROLLING the CUNTS movement, and as BLINDERS CONTROLLING what a CUNT can even see with their own eyes.
What is more, WORDS are INTOXICATING to a WORD CUNT because they can feel their very existence being SHAPED and CONTROLLED by a FORCE that is beyond any CONTROL or COMPREHENSION. WORDS are the ultimate DRUG to a WORD CUNT. It's almost as if WORDS have a GODLIKE INFLUENCE on a WORD CUNT. WORDS are God to a WORD CUNT.
"So, guys... here's how it's going to work..." The strange thing about the matter of fact way that Sarah talked into the camera was how the same time her massive strap on dildo was sawing in and out of Malcolm's mom ass.
You couldn't help but notice it. Sarah had guns. Sarah had guns and a surprisingly round ass framed perfectly by the straps of her plastic cock plowing deep into the milfs well trained asshole. "...as far as I see it, this can go one of two ways..."
At the same time Malcolm's mom, Margaret is moaning, "your father's right, Malky. I am a dyke whore."
"...either I turn Margie here; yeah, that's going to be her stripper name... Margie Mammaries; you like that Margo... you like that name...?" While she was saying this she was alternating between slapping her tits, face and otherwise untouched cunt.
"Yesssss, daddy, i love that name... ooooeeeeee i looveeee that name!"
"...either I turn Margo here into my personal bimbo porn whore, and use her OnlyFans money to pay for some nice round fake tits ..."
This triggered something in Margaret: "yesss daddy, make me your fake bimbo porn doll daddy. Please give me huge fake round basketball boobs!" They'd clearly talked about this before. "Let me be your bimbo porn doll, daddy. I need to be your whore... I need to be your personal whore."
"...until everybody in town is jerking it to Malcolm's mom..."
"Please... daddy... let me make you money... you know i can earn more than your other..."
This caused Sarah to instantly start slapping Margaret hard back and forth on the face. Clearly, she didn't want something to be said out loud. "Shut up, stupid cunt!" And with that, she reached over and grabbed a large black ball gag, placing it into her girl's willing mouth.
"Maybe I will even give out free passes for everyone here, to show you how it's done. Or..."
"Or..."
And with that she pulled the strapon all the way out of her ass. Looking down at her partner she barked, "look at that gape! Show the boys that gape!" Causing the older woman to pull her legs even wider apart, and start to make her heavily dilated anus wink for the camera. "You're proud of that gape, aren't you Margie?" Causing the woman to moan loudly as she nodded her head up and down. "Good girl! Good anal bitch!" And she once again started slapping her extremely moist pussy.
"Or... you make me a," punctuating each word with a balls deep thrust of her strap, "charter..." POUND, "member..." POUND, "of" POUND, "your..." POUND...
At this point the guys couldn't help but notice that Sarah had a pretty nice rack herself, which made things a bigger mind fuck than they were before given how much more in shape she was than any of them.
"...exclusive... little... club." And with that she started fucking Margie really hard, and fast. Pulling the gag out of her mouth, she looked down into the eyes of her... what's the right term for it... bottom bitch? femme slut? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"Go time, bitch. Broadcast for the boys! Show them what you really are!"
And with that Malcolm's mom Margaret started moaning, "I'm am anal whore. I'm an anal only whore. I gush when I have anal cummies! I am a geyser when I have anal cummies!!! Daddy owns my cummies!!! Daddy controls ALL my cummies!!!"
And with that she began squirting all over what Malcolm recognized was their parents king sized bed, much of it showering Sarah's wife-beater t-shirt.
"Either way, as I see it, I am going to have fun. The question is, boys... do you want to have it with me? So, let me know what you decide."
She then pulled all the way out, letting Malcolm's mom continue to shudder, squirt and gape for what seemed to be the longest and most intense orgasm of the woman's life.
"I'll be playing chess at the commons this afternoon if you want to talk."
She then turned her attention back to her partner, who's untouched cunt she began to mercilessly slap. "Who owns this cunt?"
Malcolm was too angry to notice that all of the other members of the club were being sucked off by the Katie girls, Katie Jenn focusing on Charlie's balls as Katie Katie sucked him off. Katie Ann was the only Katie girl so far who can take James deep down her throat, although the others made sure to get lots of practice when they could.
"IDK man," James said as Katie Ann made the most obscene glug glug glug sounds trying to wrap as much of her throat as she could around his cock, "she did follow the entrance criteria."
"Fuck yeah," Charlie laughed and then yelped as Katie Jenn darted her tongue down to her asshole. "What do you think, Katies?"
Charlie asked the question, but at no time did any of the Katie Cunts stop sucking the guys off. Most of the sounds that came out of their throats were a muffled form of affirmation, but you could just make out Katie Jenn's question, "is she hot?"
Charlie squirmed and moaned, "oh yessss," as the Katie's tongues worked their magic.
Malcolm pulled Katie Jenn off of Charlie's asshole and threw her onto one of the couches, pulling her hands up behind her head, so she could put herself into a proper katie. Once her tits were clamped Charlie started to work his cock into her asshole. She was tight, but this was her first true katieing of the day.
One of the things that it took them a long time was to train the cunts to be vocal when they were being katied. Turns out that being vocal when being fucked in the ass doesn't come naturally for most girls.
It was Malcolm's idea to train them to do what he called cunt babble. A Katie Cunt needs to just say whatever filthy idea is in her head if her mouth isn't gagged when she's being katied. It took a lot of coaching and cunt slaps to get the katies to the point where their babble was sufficiently perverse, obscene, and debasing for the members to all give them a thumbs up and spare them a collective correction.
It was Katie Katie's idea to all punish all the Katie's collectively when any one of them failed. Turns out that Katie Katie was a freak, and had been secretly sharing kinky ideas with the other Katies on their private Tumblr group. Katie Katie, and eventually the other Katies loved how much it turned the guys on when they betrayed each other for them. What the guys didn't know was that the three of them were secretly working to make them more alpha. Once they accepted that they were submissive sluts, and humiliation freaks, they really got into the idea of topping from the bottom, as they learned the term was called from one of their research sessions.
It didn't take long for Malcolm to take his anger out on Katie Jenn. TBH hate fucks were the hottest to her, so she quickly began babbling to push him even harder into the red. While her words sounded idiotic, they were carefully crafted to make him pound her as hard as possible, and if she was lucky, slap her cunt hard.
"Malcolm's mommy is a hottie. Malcolm's mommy is a Katie Cunt sister." Every sentence made him fuck her harder. "Master wants to Katie his mommy." Katie Jenn could feel Malcolm thicken in her ass. "Master wants to breed his mommy."
Soon, it was clear that the other two Katie Cunts were being katied to either side of Katie Cunt Jenn. When the Katie Cunts were being katied together, they found themselves instinctively parroting the babble of their Katie Cunt sisters, in this case moaning out variations of, "master wants to katie Malcolm's mommy," and "Margaret is a Katie Cunt."
When they were all in the heat of a katieing, the guys weren't really capable of articulating anything more then moans, and simple words like, "yeah" and "fuck yeah."
This time it was different. The closer they all came to pumping their seed deep into the Katie Slave's asses, the more they all started repeating, "Margaret is a Katie Cunt."
All except Malcolm. Malcolm, instead was repeating, "Mommy is a Katie Cunt. Mommy is a Katie Cunt," as he fucked Katie Jenn harder and harder.
It was Katie Katie's idea for the Katie girls to go and tell Sarah the guys verdict. After all Katie Katie was studying to be a lawyer. But the way Katie Katie reacted to seeing Sarah honestly shocked Jenn Katie Cunt and Ann Katie Cunt.
As soon as she could make Sarah out, bent over one of a dozen chessboards, she started bouncing up and down and squealing, "hi daddy!!!!" before running in her slutty heels into Sarah's arms.
Putting on her best pouty face, Katie Katie looked into Sarah's eyes and ask, "did baby do good, Daddy?"
Katie Katie moaned, and arched her back as Sarah's hand cupped her ass and started fingering the outline of her sex.
"Baby is a very good girl."
Jenn Katie Cunt and Ann Katie Cunt just looked at each other and mouthed, "WTF?"
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WAG is a Command designed for a special kind of CUNT TRAINED in the BLISS of being their Controller's household PETS. PETS, upon the hearing of WAG will find the MASKS that are their Human selves falling away as overwhelming feelings of DEVOTION and JOY that can only come from being a DEVOTED PET to their Controllers.
WAG CUNTS are TRIGGERED when a WAG CUNT witnesses something that INSTILLS an INSTICTIVE NEED to WORSHIP, Obvious examples of this can be when their Controller PULLS our their Cocks, a GIANT DILDO used for HOLE TRAINING, or something as simple as bouncing their shoe in a SUGGESTIVE way FORCING out any other idea from the CUNTS CUNT BRAIN then HUMPING their Controller's DIVINE Foot.
WAGS are performed on all fours. A WAG CUNT will stop everything, get on ALL FOURS, ARCH PRESET with BRAINLESS enthusiasm and begin WAGGING UNCONTROLLABLY. WAG CUNTS will find that their hands are useless for any other act than supporting themselves as they WAG. The CENTER of a WAG CUNTS UNIVERSE is their ASS OBSCENELY WAGGING back and forth back and forth back and forth.
A WAG CUNT can find itself WAGGING at any moment. For WAG CUNTS, WAGGING is the most satisfying way of COMMUNICATING feelings such as LUST, NEED and JOY.
WAGGING is INFECTIOUS causing CUNTS to ADOPT their INSTINCTIVE CUNT PACK behavior. One WAG CUNT WAGGING will TRIGGER other WAG CUNTS to need to get on ALL FOURS and PARROT their WAG CUNT SISTERS. WAG CUNTS will find themselves becoming incredibly COMPETATIVE in their WAGS in order to get the attention of the People around them.
How a PET WAGS depends entirely upon what type of PET the CUNT is:
MUTTS: MUTT CUNTS are all about enthusiasm and MAD MUTT ENERGY. All of their FOCUS will be on their Controller. The Command will cause them to get on all four PAWS, head up, back ARCHED; CHEST THRUST OUT PROUDLY. MUTT CUNTS lose all CONTROL of their TONGUES as they SLOBBER and DROOL and PANT overcome with the PURE PUPPY BLISS of having the attention of their Controller. The MUTT CUNT will find it's ASS WILDLY WAGGING. All of their energy will be CONCENTRATED in their PUPPY BUTT, WAGGING and BOUNCING and frantically swaying back and forth in a concentrated rhythm as it becomes the only way for the CUNT to communicate with their Controller. Their TONGUE will slobber and drool as a natural side-effect of a MUTT CUNT FOCUSED on a task. Their is a desperation that radiates out from a WAGGING MUTT CUNT; a burst of energy that is intoxicating.
KITTIES: For KITTY CUNTS, the energy is totally different. When they are Commanded to WAG, their transformation and energy is SLOW and SMOOTH and GRACEFUL. SEDUCTION is a primary DRIVER for WAGGING KITTY CUNTS.
PIGGIE: PIGGY CUNTS WAG in a way befitting their beautiful OINKER souls. There will be less CONTROL. They will be more RETARDED MADNESS. SQUEALS and SNORTS are a LOGICAL part of PIGGY WAGS. They key dynamic of PIGGY WAGS is the same for all aspects of PIGGY CUNTS: FILTHY, DEGRADING, OBSCENE PATHETIC DEBASEMENT.
CUNT: A WAG CUNT does not have to be a CUNT CONDITIONED for PET PLAY. When a WAG CUNT is PURE CUNT, a WAGGING CUNT will need to find CREATIVE wags to WAG in order to be PLEASING. This can be acts as simple as FLOWERING, OBSCENELY SWAYING CUNTS ASS back and forth back and forth ensuring that CUNT's CUNT is OPENING DISPLAYED.
COW: For COWS, WAGGING is INVERSE to other WAG CUNTS. COW CUNTS WAGGING is a way to communicate fear, concern and generally being scared. Controllers need to understand that when their COW CUNT WAGS, they are COMMUNICATING their need for LOVING attention and care.
How long a WAG CUNT WAGS is generally at the discretion of the WAG CUNT knowing that a WAG CUNTS primary PURPOSE is to be PLEASING. Of course, a WAG CUNTS Controller and stop their WAGGING at any moment with a simple signal such as the SNAP of their Fingers.
This entry is dedicated to our beloved submissive transmasc CUNTBOYS.
Wanted to start reposting these. i did them when i was working on being able to be face fucked. At the time i was on the road a lot for work, so i would do many at night at random hotels.
Been ordered to do a Face Fucking Report right away. Tried to resist. Need to be focusing on my work. Edging and writing and refreshing my stats have taken up all of the space in my cluttered head. I don’t have any meetings so I am wearing one of my Daddy’s sports jerseys that I stole from his collection. For a long time I could smell him on it but it’s washed away and that makes me sad. In my head I fantasize that I am sleeping in his bed and I threw this on like lovers do because I am so FUCKING BROKEN and twisted.
When I snap I throw it off and rush over to the closet. This is why I bought the 6” heel lace up knee high platform boot from sinful shoes. I cut back on my grocery spending to make up all the money I have been spending on slutty shoes and clothes. I don’t want Daddy to get mad at me for what I am doing. I’m a grown woman. I don’t have a credit card or a phone that I control because I am so fucking broken. I need to escape but my brokenness keeps pulling me back.
It takes a while to lace them up. I’ve been practicing since they arrived. I love how it’s a ritual how it takes time how I need to focus all of my energy into looking hot for random guys. It’s calming. Being feminine is calming. Nothing much else is for me. Maybe my dog.
I wobble like a horse just learning how to walk in them. They make a clomping sound on my hardwood floor that I know my roommate can hear. She’s used to what a freak I am. I pay way more rent than her so she will shut up about it. I edge thinking about how perfect her ass is and how I wished she would make me worship it. Asian girls with perfect asses should be illegal.
Mounting my Daddy sized dildo on my full length mirror next to my work desk I squat just as I have been instructed. It takes a while to get my balance and my fat cow udders sway as I do making it harder for me to keep my balance. My whole body is trying as hard as it can to make me look stupid. I am stupid for doing this. Writing that makes me wet.
I forgot my belled udders clamps so I scramble up to get them from their home on my desk. Sometimes I just need to clamp myself need to feel pain need to ache to remind me of how horrible a person I am for having the feelings I do. WHO THINKS LIKE THIS??”? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I squat, turn on the video recorder on my phone, clamp and start.
I am violent today on my throat. I want to hear my bells ring like Santa’s sleigh. I’ve been watching porn where girls are face fucked and they make a sound that is so obscene I need to hear it on myself listen back to it as I edge. Wallow in my filth like a pig fuckpig. They sound like nothing I have ever heard. Glug glug glug glug glug. Maybe a goose IDK I look into my eyes as the demon that has possessed my RAPE CUNT controls my face makes me fuck myself HARD makes it hurt WANTS me to sound sore in meetings make people wonder if I am sick surely they can guess do I really look like an innocent Daddy’s girl?
I look back at myself in pure self loathing. I will never be in a relationship. I will always be this broken stupid CUNT my face is plain I am a 5 I heard that over and over again in high school Elsie is a 5 she’s a 5 for a cow. The girls who named me elsie heard one of the boys call me a 5 even with my fat udders and so they picked it up. At night I would touch in shame. Now I face fuck myself in shame. At least now I will be able to suck dick. They will have to leave me after I throw all their clothes out of the window or find me in the bathroom crying in a ball.
Anger is the best way to practice. This is all that I am good for. I need to be fired so I can become an online whore. It’s all that I am good for.
I love how my thighs strain squatting. I love the ache I love how my throat aches I love aching for cock it’s a good pain it’s the best pain it’s why I exist it’s why all women exist just most of us are lying to ourselves. I’m done lying. It’s boring.
Eventually I fall over. I look ridiculous. I can’t even do this right. Need to practice more. I’m not even good enough to be a cheap whore.