Sometimes
It's been 5 months. Im able to set foot into Broadview subway station again. I remember entering the train station a few weeks after the tradgedy- thinking that it would help me heal. My blood went cold, my heart hurt so much. Life is not meant to be spilled on rusty tracks. Brilliance does not thrive on cold steel and metal. You were meant for greater things, i just wish i had the courage to tell you that and convince a part of you to choose to stay.
I am healing, but my heart weeps for the one who felt that happy meant leaving mom, dad, and sis behind. I can't imagine, nor do I want to know what that pain feels like. My siblings are truly my whole world and I can't bare the thought of losing them unnaturally. I know that's selfish to say or think but, I pray my siblings continue to fall in love with this life. I pray this life seduces them into adventures that leave them yearning and latching onto her. God bless that sacred union and promise. Life is worth living, even if moments are unbearable, life gets better. My love and my life are my siblings.
My bosom sister and friend, who i met as a young sprout. I don't have the words. I know your heart has forever changed and I just wish there was more i could do for you. You will always have a home with me. You and our other sister will always have a bond that no one else could ever break or understand.
I have to write this down because I need to keep pushing. I want the courage and bravery to tell people that they matter and that they're not alone.
Maybe we'll meet up at sprucecourt public school in the next life ❤️ i don't regret meeting you all in this one, im just selfish that I want keep you guys in all my next ones, eternities and forevers too.
