*as she walks through the cognitive realm, she eventually finds Phantom lying on a rock, dozing*
-@phantom-steel
*She steps back, pulling out a knife, just in case, but she begins to creep away, silently.*
*he speaks without opening his eyes* You won't get very far from me, whichever one you are right now. You made me a promise, you realize. I take those very seriously.
…I wasn’t…planning on this happening, when I made the promise.
Too bad. That's the risk of a promise, isn't it?
…doesn’t mean I don’t have to leave.
You can't leave me. You promised me that, and if I had to bet, I'm not the only person you made that kind of promise to.
It will be safer for everybody if I leave.
Do you think they care? I myself am a danger to all of you and I can't get rid of any you no matter what I try.
I tried to kill Wayne the first time I met any of you.
That’s different. You didn’t have a choice.
Because I made a promise. Because to do otherwise would be to break my debt. If I didn't have a choice, then you have no choice now but to stay.
…I can’t, Phantom.
I can’t look them in the eyes. Not after what we did.
You don't have a choice. Besides, leaving would be the worse thing you've ever done to them. Even after all of it. They'd blame you more for leaving than anything else you could do.
…means they won’t hurt as much.
It means they'll never stop hurting. They'll spend their whole lives wondering what they could've done better. How they could've helped you. Wondering why you didn't love them enough to stay.
*She turns away from him, to hide her shaking.*
But they’ll be alive.
Would they be? Wayne is self destructive on a good day. If you leave, he'll fall apart. Wax is liable to go throw himself directly into the heart of the beast because he thinks he lost you for a third time.
...and I'll probably wind up right back where I was when you found me.
You’re stronger than that, Phantom. You are.
*suddenly, he's standing in front of her, looking her dead in the eye* Am I, Lessie? It's all I can do to keep going. My concept of strength would've had me dead weeks ago when I decided to break free of them. You stopped me.
I'll either end up back with them, dead, or so fractured that you could hardly call me a person anymore.
Tell me I'm wrong. Look me in the eye and tell me I don't need you. That I'd be better off without you.
*She flinches back, turning away.*
…I spiked him, Phantom. He was screaming…
Let me guess, so he couldn't get in the way while you fought to save him? Save him by killing Harmony? Something like that? Sounds admirable to me. None of my heinous acts ever had such noble motives.
*Her voice goes quiet.*
I nearly killed Coda…
But you didn't. If you keep running, you might. Strength before weakness, Lessie. Running away is pretty weak. You owe them a debt for what you did.
*he uses a touch of Lightweaving to give his voice more weight for the next words* Fix it.
…I can’t. Not until Bleeder calms down. It won’t be safe
She owes them a debt as well.
I know she's in there right now, so I'd advise her to listen closely: If she continues the way she is, she is no better than Harmony.
*Bleeder flinches back, away. Paalm just…watches Phantom.*
*he steps forward, voice low and certain* You want to save them from Harmony, you think Harmony's used them and abused them, manipulated them from afar, hurt them. Used them and then tossed them aside when he no longer needed them. I understand. I watched it all happen through your eyes.
*images begin to appear around him, drawing parallels between Harmony's actions and her own. Shifting with each sentence, showing them both use her friends as a means to an end*
But that does not give you the right to do the same. Just because you think Harmony's tricked them and they don't know what they're doing doesn't mean you have the right to use them, hurt them, and throw them aside like garbage that's crossed your path.
Listen to me, Bleeder. You are not respecting them as people right now, just like you accuse Harmony of. You are treating them as obstacles to your goal. I know you've probably pulled back by now. But I also know you can still hear me.
Find. A better. Way.
*Bleeder screams in the back of their mind, and Paalm grabs at her head, pain echoing through her.*
*he clenches his jaw and gives her a small nod* Good. You understand.
Now I want to see some strength from you. You made some mistakes; big deal. You've done some wrongs. Everyone does. Pick yourself up and go make things right. Even if it takes the rest of your life, like it will for me.
At least try. I will not let you destroy yourself just because it's easy. You made promises. You made oaths. Keep them.
*he turns away a little, and his voice drops to nearly a whisper* I'm sorry.
…what do we do?
*Her accent slides, shifting from Roughs to Final Empire.*
You keep the promises you made. You go back, and you try to make right what you've done wrong. Tell me, Paalm, are you really running because you think it's what's best for them?
No. You're not. It's what you tell yourselves, but really, you're just scared. Bleeder is not something to control, Paalm. You don't hold her back. She's you, and you're her. Running won't change that.
*he softens* There's no shame in asking for help, Paalm. Didn't Lessie tell me that once? It takes strength.
Go home, tell them you're sorry. Get help.
…we can’t, Phantom. We can’t.
What other choice do you have? Running? That's not a choice. That's giving up. How can you expect me not to give up if you won't keep going yourself?
I can’t ask them to forgive us! Lord Ruler, Phantom, you didn’t see him!
Have I ever asked you to forgive me? No. Not once. I've slayed towns. Brought armies to their knees. Driven people to insanity. Broken them. Men, women... children. I didn't ask for your forgiveness, or your help. You gave it to me anyway.
All you can do is apologize and try to make amends. Whatever forgiveness they can offer is theirs to give or not give as they please.
The only thing you can offer them is your best attempt. At least give them that. You owe it to them.
…just let me leave, Phantom. Please
I'm not stopping you. But if you do leave, you will regret it. Believe that.
…all the pain will be worth it if we never hurt them again.
I’m sorry, Phantom. I can’t do it.
You're hurting them now more than you ever could if you stayed.
But fine. Run away like a coward. I won't stop you. But at least tell me, where are we going?
…away from here. Out across the Unsea. Roshar, maybe, or someplace nobody has heard of before.
That doesn't sound very nice. Let's go some place warm. Fewer storms. Maybe with puppies.
…you’re not coming with me, Phantom.
*looks her in the eye* You're not getting rid of me that easily. Now maybe you didn't mean that when you said it. But I did.
I’m going alone.
It's not looking like it.
Phantom. Please.
Swap our places. What would you say to me if I were running away? You told me you'd help me, not caring about the danger I pose to all of you.
Why would I not do the same?
Don’t. Don’t do this. Stay here. Protect them.
I could say the same to you.
Don’t follow me. Please.
Why shouldn't I? *his voice breaks a little* You're abandoning me too. You said you wouldn't. But you are.
It's just like everyone else. Everyone I care about leaves me.
…I have to. I have to.
*She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself, now.*
*his tone has a note of pleading to it* Why? Why, Lessie? Come home. Please.
…I’m not Lessie. They won’t know me.
*Her arguments sound weaker, and she sits on the ground.*
*he sits down next to her* You've never tried, Paalm. You and Bleeder have never even made the attempt.
I know you. I'm still here. Do you have so little faith in your friends?
*She buries her head in her hands.*
I don’t know…
*he sits there awkwardly for a second, and then makes up his mind and wraps his arms around her in his attempt at a hug*
*She tenses up, and then relaxes, leaning into Phantom.*
*he just holds her, silent for a long moment. Taking as much comfort from her as she is from him*
…thank you, Phantom.
Of course. It's the least I could do. You've done so much for me.
*She takes a shaky breath in, curling closer to Phantom.*
*he relaxes some as he starts to get used to the concept of hugging a little and lets himself take a breath*
…thoughts are real loud right now.
I know how that feels.
…guess you do, yeah.
I miss being alone…
I understand. It can be overwhelming sometimes. But they're all you. Just... different parts of you, I think.
Different times in our life. Different defenses we needed…
...Different jobs you needed done.
*She nods.* …easier to become somebody else than to learn something new. Always been easier to be somebody else…
Why let something hurt you when you can let... someone else handle it? Maybe someone who even likes it a little... or someone who doesn't care at all...
Exactly. Hide away from the pain for a while…let somebody else take the burden.
Yeah... too bad it never really leaves...
It would make things a lot simpler if it did…
Yes... yes it would...
*She glances down at her hands, still dotted with Wax’s blood.*
…so much easier.
*he glances at the blood and grabs her hand slowly* May I?
*She nods, shifting to be more comfortable leaning against him.*
*he pulls in a little bit of Stormlight and soulcasts the blood away, turning it into vapor*
*She shivers at the feeling.*
Thanks.
That better?
Definitely better.
Good. That's good.
…guess we can’t sit here forever.
That's a shame. I'd welcome that eternity, I think.
Would be much nicer.
Yes... at least that way I'd never have to hear what you decide...
*She goes quiet, looking away from Phantom.*
Come home... please?
…we need some time. Lessie’s….struggling. Give us some time to sort things out, talk with Bleeder.
Fine. But don't think you've gotten rid of me. I will be checking in on you, alright?
Alright. And we’ll come back when things are sorted.
How about you come back when you can? You're gonna need help to get things sorted.
Deal. Just need a bit of time to ourselves.
Okay. *he gives her a sad look* Good luck.
…thank you.
Keep them safe, while we’re not there. Please.
I'll try... but I'm part of the danger.
Just try. You’re strong, Phantom.
I'll try. I promise you that much.
Thank you.
*She stands, extricating herself from Phantom’s arms.*
…I’ll see you soon.
I'll be holding you to that. Farewell.
