Drippin Swag-Goo

Lol I kinda hate that I’m in a frat. I hate the whole stereotype of it. I hate the obnoxious need for repping all the time. I hate that you always gotta be affiliated to something at events. I hate that when your org has some sort of persona, you’re connected to it. If someone in your org does something, apparently that’s your image too. It’s hard to represent yourself as an individual when someone identifies you as your organization. 

I got asked today by a random person what frat am I in (which he knew, but jsut wanted to make sure). I’ve accidentally made it a habit to deny that I’m in one, and didn’t even bother to answer his other question. I probably came off as an asshole, but I hate that i probably affected his impression of my frat. 

I know they’re not happy and I don’t know what to do. They’re old and hate their life. My dad complains to me everyday about how his life feels “thrown away”. I know my mom is never not on her feet. She’s always up cleaning, cooking, and going to work. She tries her best to do everything for everybody, but I wish she didn’t. I wish she didn’t, because then she wouldn’t be bitter about always having to slave away.

My parents taught me to be grateful, but I now no longer see them believing in the lesson they taught me. They’re bitter. They argue all the time and I never see them smile anymore. They’re always complaining about how miserable they are. 

This household is dysfunctional. My grampa never wants to shut up about his health and always complaining about something. My grandma got a stroke a couple years back and can barely talk or move. My brother is a piece of shit son. He’s at the stage where he thinks everyone is against him. I’m not that great either, but I’m here doing my best to focus on my life. It’s so hard though, when I’m also doing my best to keep this family together. While I’m doing that, I’m keep getting told that I don’t do anything for the family. It’s quite discouraging.  

This household is toxic, but I can’t leave though. They’re family. 

I know my parents don’t love each other anymore, but I know they can’t leave either. Family first.