What Peri Thinks

There is only one individual whose ring game is inherently superior to mine, and you are looking at her right now. There is but one word to describe ms. Swagliozzi and that would have to be, you guessed it: swag. Danielle is too adorable to express with words that are used in english, I tried to create my own language to communicate how I feel but I failed horribly, but those who know her know what I am talking about. From her bucket hats to her taste in dirty blonde men, Danielle is the creme of the crop at both NHS, and the entire world. If it weren’t for my total lack of self control I would stop eating dairy products in solidarity with this girl. That is the extent to which I adore her. 10/10 would recomend

Ahhh I love this kid. Daniel is an individual of high highs and low lows. Ranging from his terrifying obsession with deadly weapons (kind of a low) to his unparalleled fingering and massaging skills (definitely a high.) His distribution of illegal substances (that I personally adore) is both convenient and much appreciated. He is incredibly good at responding to texts and is even better at raising one eyebrow above the other, a skill I will forever envy him of. Known for catchphrases such as “what a sweetheart” “I take those ill bong rips” “cum for daddy” “that’s odd (/peculiar)”  and other favorites, he lovingly refers to individuals for whom he has affection as anything from “beautiful” to “young nigga.” Although he likes to present himself as something of a hood rat, Daniel is in fact really cute and a personal favorite partner for intercourse, cuddling, and (sex)texting. 10/10 would recommend 

Hannah. Banana. Before I even begin picking apart her incredible personality and adorable quirks let me just say, what a dime piece. Seriously, she is a more attractive version of Janice Joplin with a much better ass. Okay moving forward, Hannah is incredibly kind to others (though sassy when the need arises) and exudes a really beautiful aura that I was actually telling my therapist about earlier today. She sometimes talks in a variety of really cute and weird voices, and always speaks her mind which I really respect. Her taste in music would fall under the category of high quality and her ability to snort stuff is definitely good. In the simplest terms Hannah can be summed up as “good vibes” but is in fact so much more than that. 10/10 would recommend 

This strain of marijuana has long held the official title for my favorite strain of cannabis. I personally find this strain so appealing due to its strong potency, a mere bowl will have me stoned for hours. It is extremely cost effective and though the lazy indica high wouldn’t necessarily be my favorite, the extreme waves of euphoria it is accompanied by make it well worth the occasional lethargic effects. I have never felt more on top of the world than after a few bowls of blackberry kush. If a strain of weed exploded in one’s face and blew off one’s eyebrow and lit one’s head on fire, one might be a bit put off said strain right? WRONG! I forgive you blackberry kush! I want you in my life forever and always! 8.9/10 would recommend 

A semi welcoming environment with extremely friendly staff is merely a forgettable background to the orgasmic breakfast food that makes up this age old institution we have come to know as: IHOP. Perhaps I am a little biased because I consider breakfast food to be the windows to the soul but there is little more satisfying than the pancakes, meat, and chemically engineered eggs. When putting these artificial delicacies into my mouth I involuntarily quiver and moan. Excitement builds up inside as you wait for an impressively short period of time before your sustenance appears. The prices are affordable and the food quality may be low but the taste is high. Obviously I have tasted better food in my life and the chains are not in pristine condition, but any establishment serving breakfast all day is alright in my book. 7.9/10 would recommend 

Alex Hall is an individual undoubtedly headed for greatness. From his dedication to his ab workouts to his unwavering desire to make the world a better place for women’s vaginas Alex Hall knows whats up. His partner in crime Valerie will probably resent my stroking of his already relatively large ego, but can this adonis be ignored? The quick answer is a resounding “no”. His taste in women is impeccable and nearly rivals the majesty of his bong who goes by the name “Craig.” While not everyone can handle Craig I personally find him to be a treat and 3/4. Alex handles the constant questioning of his sexuality with maturity and grace and is an incredibly pleasant person to be around with a wonderful sense of humor, rock hard muscles, and slightly above average driving skills. 10/10 would recommend 

The high I had from cherry pie was incredibly satisfying. Total euphoria, even complete chaos appeared to be hilarious. Smoked both from joints and bong on separate occasions. Enjoyable mind and body effects which made movement especially satisfying but still left me able to function regularly. Awesome hybrid, seemed sativa dominant to me but regardless was an amazing day time high. 9.1/10 would absolutely recommend.