Lost and Looking for the Light

I'm so broken about Nolan Wells. It gets so hard to keep faith in people when there are so many fucking stories of black people, men, women, and children, especially fucking children, going out with an all white group and they never fucking make it home. I'm so fucking scared and I'm so fucking tired and I don't even have anyone to talk to about this that would genuinely understand just how deep this fear is. I hate talking to mom about stuff like this, she just gets so angry that it freaks me out in a whole other way and I'm nowhere near close enough with any of the rest of my family to talk about stuff like this. Being black in usAmerikkka is already stressful and terrifying but seeing shit like this happen again and again and again shakes my fucking faith in humans as a whole. I hate that I'm terrified/wary of going out with my own friends because I really just don't know. Are they racist? No, not at all, every single one of the people I would consider an irl friend is progressive as they come. But if I were to go hangout with their friends, what would happen if they left the room? I'm just so fucking sick and tired and scared