Lawli

looking at Tumblr dashboard is hell

jirais have more friends than me than I do what the fuck

something I aspire to do is to start a kangel cosplay travel vlog. I want to travel all over the world as kangel or ame chan!!

crazy thing is I'm actually straight

people scare me a little bit. the idea that someone else has their own thoughts, opinions, and ideas is out of this world for me. I can't comprehend that a person is ... a person. it's odd because I can understand another person fine. I can put myself in their shoes, I can decode unwritten social rules, and yet, I still can't fathom that other people have minds. I find myself feeling paranoid because if someone can think, then someone can plan, and if someone can plan, then they can plan horrible things. paradoxically, I tend to assume that people have malicious intentions while believing most people are benevolent. schizophrenia makes me feel weird about other people. they feel almost like aliens. sometimes, it makes me hyper aware of myself as well. I become 10x more aware of my thoughts, feelings, and self to the point I become detached with reality. does anyone else experience the same thing?

its raining!

i want to make my own clothes so bad

speech used to flow more eloquently for me before schizophrenia. I used to be able to speak clearly and concisely until schizophrenia affected clarity within my words. now i struggle to be coherent, and often speak less and less due to difficulty thinking and speaking.

a hobby that I really want to get into is cosplay and sewing... I like clothes a lot and despite not caring for fashion very much (I barely care about my appearance) I've decided to make it my life's mission to become a real life dress up doll for myself so I can turn into characters and ocs because why not?

I hate hate hate hate death note for introducing that freak of nature in my head. not even blorbo anymore he's just part of my mental illness now

kangel I will play video games if I can, okay? but we don't have any soulsborne games so you have to be patient, okay?

I got locked out of my old account because I deleted my discord

maybe I'll make a pronouns.cc just because