Permanent State of Confusion

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it's worked so well? James Hacker: That's all ancient history, surely. Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn't work. Now that we're inside we can make a complete pig's breakfast of the whole thing: set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch. The Foreign Office is terribly pleased; it's just like old times.

The Player: Why? Guildenstern: Ah, why? Rosencrantz: Exactly! Guildenstern: Exactly what? Rosencrantz: Exactly why? Guildenstern: Exactly why what? Rosencrantz: What? Guildenstern: Why? Rosencrantz: Why what exactly? Guildenstern: WHY IS HE MAD? Rosencrantz: I DON'T KNOW!