deep hasbro thoughts

I'm not really to write it all yet but it's there, in pieces.

Good thing I am now this far from my therapist's office:

thanks for squeezing in a grocery run yesterday in your crazy day so I could have a nice breakfast and coffee waiting for me in the morning in my new place

truly the mvp of thinking ahead though it is HARD for us

we know what we like!!! we don't want to wake up without a nice little pastry and fresh fruit ok

with appreciation,

me

(she was looking out at a kinda hot, built, beardy man in wayfarers and a black tee, sitting at the patio table across from us at a brewery, who did look about my age but also like he could crush my head with one hand)

me: "not really but that is definitely a type that likes me lol"

(this one bartender in particular back home who looked like that ... I thought was negging me to be mean ... but actually was flirting and asking friends I was with about me SO lol)

It was driving, this morning, to get Starbucks at the beach and "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor came on my shuffle

Like big ugly wrecked sobs and letting myself feel it all entirely

The one who put up a sunshield so the car wasn't hot. Who checked the weather to make sure driving conditions were safe. Who was the most careful driver and got into so many accidents (people hit him!) Who always was cautious in so many ways in such a caring and considerate way. Who was chosen to be the foreman in two different jury panels.

A lot of his frustration came from people being dicks in general and ... he would rarely be a dick back but he could. He could in such a good and funny way when it counted.

Y'all, I fucking miss him. It's been two years gone. And I think of him as I'm moving and all the things he'd think of. He is the reason I go out of my way to be careful now, ever since he passed.