Don’t Forget to Smile :)

Heavy on my mind, as her birthday approaches we use to spend it together. Feels like yesterday I was in Boston for 30. And then 31, which I think was one of the last times I was in Boston. I rolled my ankle on the way to the train but refused to do anything because I was determined to make it a great birthday for her. Either way, as her birthday is near all the memories flood back. I hope she’s happy, people I meet don’t compare to the connection we had yet I know now that people are meant to teach us things. I can feel joy in the good memories we have and feel anger in the bad ones. To me the longer we go without being connected the more I feel the pain. I know some pain is just meant to teach you a lesson so you never repeat it. And I know I learned a lesson. It’s these late night moments that truly hurt the most. I hope she’s happy, I hope she’s successful, and most of all I hope she finds the person that was able to be everything I couldn’t. We will always be looking at the same moon. Took this last week at the beach, and remembered we will always see the same moon.

2025; you are the year I know it. You will fuck me over. Until I figure out my worth. It’s currently January and I think I got a taste of what I’m suppose to be seeing this year. It’s not that the year is gonna fuck me over it’s that I will finally take the blindfold off! I will finally see the faces that have made me look like a fool. The ones that have been holding me back from my bigger ideas. Sure know body wants that over and over, it’s exhausting but i actually think it’s time I finally see it. I’m not here to play victim, I really am not. What I will say is that if taking accountability for my misdoings and mindful proceedings is that then maybe I am and I guess I’m okay with it… I should have the space to finally realize where I went wrong, and proceeding with trust.