i wouldnt mind

“Your complaining or the haunted house issue?”

“...Both?”

“Okay, but I lived during that time period, so your point is?”

“Uh, yeah, and people lived during the 80′s but no one in their right mind is walking around in big perm hair and neon leg warmers in 2017,”

“Bitch, I’m from hell, can’t be that different,”

“Vlad was a person and he was a vampire, so it’s not all stupid human literature. He sounded like a pretty cool dude, too.” Alex shrugged. “It’s a lot of power to do that. Plus, I want to be able to change into a bat at will.”

“Yeah but that kind of aesthetic was the norm for his time period,” She pointed out, smoothing her sweater as she spoke. “Well, we can’t all have what we want.”

“You’re welcome to complain to me. I’m not going to stop you.”

“What good is complaining to you if there’s nothing you can do about it?”

✴︎ — “ Just wait. I’m going to trip over my feet and a spider is going to eat me and bye-bye Ana. ”

“I’d say I’d try to save you, but I’m gonna go with the classic Hot Blonde excuse and say I don’t want to ruin my manicure,” 

“Not everyone is a fan of that shit, so calm yourself. Right, it’s pretty stupid in all honestly, but most things are.”

“Exactly, that’s what I’m trying to say,” 

“I’m…” Ophelia started while shaking her head ‘no’. “..not- I don’t- I never had cable or anything like.. ever. Until a little bit before here, so like, are those TV things?”

“I-- yeah, they’re TV things,” Penelope replied, slightly dumbfounded. “Well, if anything you need to see The Haunted Mansion, it’s basically a classic halloween movie,”

“Well, I’ve talked in an eastern European accent and lived in a castle, so someone’s not living up to who they are,” he retorted. “If I could turn into a bat, I definitely would. That would be cool as shit.”

“Or you’re giving in to stereotypes placed on you by stupid ass human literature,” She suggested, raising her eyebrows. “I’m sure there’s someone here with the power to turn you into a bat.” 

“Fairly certain that’s exactly what it is.”

“Well, I don’t like it. Who can I complain to?”

“Haunted Mansion Bachelor?” is all Ophelia asks confused because she was far too out of the loop

“Yeah, you know. Like. The movie The Haunted Mansion mixed with the dating show, The Bachelor,” Penelope tried to explain. 

✴︎ — “ Seems sort of like it ? My worry is more that I survived 417 years just to get eaten by a giant spider. ”

“Would they really let us get eaten by a giant spider? Wouldn’t that ruin their romance shtick?” 

“Very bad. But I always look like I’m going to throw up. The sunken eyes and paleness thing is part of my undead look.” He raised both eyebrows at her. “Aren’t you a demon? Don’t you make your meat suits vomit and do a 360 head spin on the regular for shits and giggles?”

“...Right.” She nodded. She gave him a strange look, shaking her head and letting her blonde hair bounce with it. “Way to stereotype. Someone’s watched The Exorcist one too many times. I can confidently tell you that I’ve never made a body vomit or head spin,”