Peculiar Flavor

Borrowing his fitness routine from the Muscles from Brussels himself, Iwamori has seen every Jean-Claude Van Damme movie twice. Yes, even Kung Fu Panda 2.

“Cut, cut, cut! Get wardrobe down here, this looks so fake! I can see the zipper going down the back of his costume for chrissake!” –Wes Fenglebard, director, It Came from the Watery Lagoon

“Don’t panic if it has you in its grasp. Thanks to its slug-tongue, it takes it about ten minutes to eat a guy, so you should be able to think of something before then.”

In his will, Gorbash the Giant elected to donate his body to science. Still, he probably didn’t expect that it’d be going to military science.

Entire continents were ravaged by the constant warfare between the guild of the gigantomancers, and their mortal enemies, the ancient order of the ittybittycasters.

“I’ve got to find out who this guy’s dealer is, because whatever he’s on, I want to be on it, too.” –Terence, the Sarcaster

“Pff, astronomers… With all their fancy shmancy telescopes, are they any closer to explaining the giant lady in the sky holding up that glowing ball?”

Test #352: Subjects continue to burst into flames upon re-entry to the atmosphere. Suggest using less flammable test animals in future trials.

Early versions of Microsoft Word’s autocorrect feature not only fixed spelling errors, but censored dangerous heresy, as well.

Within its membrane dwells every dream you’ve ever experienced. Yes, even those ones from high school… you know which ones I’m talking about. Pervert.

Krill sighed as he looked longingly through the gate. “Maybe next year I’ll score that ticket to Coachella.”

“Why hello, son, it looks like you could use a dose of Vitamin Jesus, today.”

“So let me get this straight: You spent all our money on a mongoose that lays golden eggs? You’ve just been dumb on so many different levels, I’m not even sure where to begin…”

“Ooooh, see, your voicemail came out a bit garbled, so we actually salted their homes, burned nothing, and allowed their lands to survive…”

“Ugh, I hate crying babies. Tell you what, I’m gonna futz around the multiverse for a few years, and I’ll come back to Alara when that thing’s finally able to wipe its own butt.” –Terence, the Sarcaster

Michael Bay felt that there were already enough movies depicting cities levelled by massive earthquakes. He would need to find a more plausible method of destroying Los Angeles…

Benalish Heroes were promoted in an elaborate ceremony which concluded with the traditional equipping of the Mega Man arm cannon.