Jaehyun Lover

“Alright… Mama’s all full of Daddy’s baby batter. Now we wait,” Jaehyun says with a lazy, stoned chuckle. He rolls off of you like he just said something divine. He’s high as hell, so he’s extra proud of his own bullshit- and insufferably more smug about it than usual.

You shoot him a glare, arms crossing over your chest in a weak attempt to hide how flustered you are, “Holy fuck, Jae- you are so fucking corny! You snuffed the mood," you groan.

He doesn’t even pretend to be offended- just slides right back between your parted thighs like he never left, a stupid smirk tugging at his lips, “Girl, shut the fuck up- I don’t call you ‘Hot n’ Ready’ for nothing- I could part these thighs with straight-up telepathy because everyone knows I've got you wrapped around my finger and my dick. I don't even have… to… fuck, baby…”

His voice turns breathless as he looks down at your soaked pussy, his cock twitching back to life where it rests against your slit. He rocks his hips lazily, sliding his tip through your mess, catching on your entrance with every pass. Your body clenches around nothing- begging for him.

“I don’t even have to fuckin’ try,” he mutters, almost to himself, mesmerized by the way the swollen head breaches you just slightly with each teasing grind.

“Try what?” you breathe, voice catching on a soft gasp as your hips tilt toward him.

He shrugs with that same dumb, perfect grin, “No idea. Forgot. Just know I don’t gotta try to do it… whatever it is.”

And then he’s sliding into you again- slow, thick, easy like breathing. The stretch pulls a gasp from your lips and your legs fall open wider, welcoming him back. The afternoon light spills across his flushed skin as he rolls his hips, steady and deep.

“I know you’re on birth control,” he says, voice low and syrupy, “but what if it didn’t work? What if I knocked you up for real? What if we fuck so much that your poor little pill gave up and we've just been having a whole bunch of risky sex?”

He thrusts a little harder, a little deeper, hips snapping with more purpose now. The air shifts- lazy turns into urgent bordering on desperation.

“Jae- Jae, oh my god- you’re so fucking deep, fuck me… please, baby- fuck me just like that,” you sob as you hold his hands like they're your lifeline. He catches your wrists and guides your hands to his stomach, letting you feel how tight his abs go every time he buries himself to the hilt. Then he brushes his damp hair out of his face and flashes that cocky, stupid, little smile, “I’ll try not to bruise your cervix again,” he says, like he means it… but not really.

You try to breathe through it, through the pressure and the pleasure but Jaehyun’s strokes are precise now- just deep enough to leave your brain short-circuiting, just slow enough to make you ache for more.

“Every time I think you’ve had enough,” he murmurs, dragging his cock almost all the way out before sinking in again, “your pussy pulls me back in like she’s starving. You like being full of me… don’t you, mama?”

You nod, words failing you as your nails drag across the firm planes of his torso. He hisses at the sting, hips stuttering for half a beat before he finds his rhythm again.

“I bet she’s greedy,” he whispers, leaning down until his steady lips brush against your quivering ones, “I bet if I came in you again… right now… she’d keep every fucking drop.”

“Jae- fuck... please-”

Your voice cracks around the plea and it only spurs him on. He presses your knees up, folding you deeper under him, hitting a spot that has your back arching off the bed and your words quickly becoming nothing more than shrilled gibberish.

“Yeah, that’s it, mama. Let me hear you,” he pants, his control unraveling with every wet slap of skin on skin, “You sound so pretty when you fall apart for me… Fall apart around me, baby… Just like that… I know, my love, I know… Go ahead and fall apart around me, mama... S'all good, mama. I got you,”

He leans in and kisses you- messy, consuming, obsessively- his tongue pushing past your lips as his thrusts grow rougher and needier. His hand slips between your writhing bodies and he draws messy and fervent circles into your clit, catapulting you towards your release.

“Wanna feel you cum again,” he groans into your mouth, “Milk my cock like you need it, baby. Let me feel that pussy squeeze my cock. Let me fucking feel it.”

You’re already there- right on the edge, muscles tightening, your walls flutter around him as you whine his name.

“Cum for me, baby,” he growls, nipping at your bottom lip, “Cum on this dick for me, baby. Cum on this fucking dick… You're so fucking beautiful… So fucking good to me, mama. Cum all over it, princess.”

And you do- body locking up under him, cry muffled against his shoulder as your orgasm crashes over you. He keeps moving through it, stroking and fucking you through the aftershocks until every movement he makes becomes erratic, sloppy, and desperate.

“Sh- shit- I’m gonna-”

You clench again, whispering his name like it’s the only thing you remember and that’s all it takes. He buries himself deep with a broken groan, spilling into you all over again.

Jaehyun’s body goes still, trembling slightly as he collapses on top of you, face pressed into your neck. The only sounds now are your breathing, fast and ragged, and the wild pulses of your still-joined bodies.

After a beat, he mutters against your skin, “If that birth control does fail, I’m telling everyone you begged for it.”

You smack his back without any real force, still too blissed out to do anything else, “Shut the fuck up.”

He laughs, cock still buried inside you, and kisses your throat like a thank you.

You always felt out of place. With your family, friends and even boyfriends, you tried. Really tried fitting it, laughing at the jokes you don't even find funny , listen to the gossip you don't even find interesting, going to parties you never liked, pretending to like people knowing you'd rather be at the comfort of your house, you always try to avoid work dinners and drinks invites, it's not really your style , you'd rather finish your shift and go home and do whatever there, never getting involved in the work drama or the office romance or whatever is going on with them.

Today, you woke up, preparing yourself mentally for the torture you'll go through, but whatever pays the bills, you think. Driving to work in the morning, sun hitting your face, you park where you usually park, you go prepare your coffee while some women gossip about some work drama.

“I heard a new coworker is moving in this department” one of the women says

“Yeah, a new member to this shithole” they giggle and you roll your eyes and head to your office.

After a while of sitting there drinking your coffee , someone decides to interrupt your peace by knocking on your door, you take a deep breath already mad,

“Come in!” You say as the door opens , it's one of the middle aged coworkers.

“c'mon, the new employee is here” he say smiling

“so?” You say knowing that everyone knows you wouldn't care less

“So get your ass over here to welcome him,” he says , kind of yelling at you.

You roll your eyes and stand up and leave the office following the middle aged man to where the new employee is. Not even caring who it is , expecting another middle aged man or woman who loves to gossip. But no, it was a handsome guy, tall , his shoulders broad, his face is handsome, you stood there stunned for a few seconds before walking up to him.

He smiles at you before extending his hand to shake yours, God those dimples, you think

“HI, I'm jaehyun, nice to meet you" his voice has depth and some warmth to it.

“Nice to meet you too jaehyun, I'm y/n” you say shaking his hand, you smile back Your eyes meeting his before letting go of his hand. You take few steps backwards as more people start to gather around him, you hear some people talking about handsome he is or how he sounds so gentle—

The next few days pass like a blur before you get invited to go to dinner with your coworkers to celebrate jaehyun's arrival, expected to say no as usual, at some point they'll stop even asking you— surprisingly, you said yes and smile, you didn't know what made you say yes and why did you say it even, it surprised the middle aged woman, it even surprised you, she nod and leaves you alone. You start rethinking, mentally slapping yourself, you never attend dinners, what the fuck is wrong with you?

After work they all gather at a nearby restaurant, you thought about just not attending, but you're known to be at your word , you're honest, so you have to attend, unfortunately. When you arrive and enter the restaurant, the food smell punches you in the face and pulls you more, you look for them until you hear their voices and go sit at the corner quietly hoping nobody talks to you, or even notices you. You notice jaehyun to some coworkers, he's like the golden boy. You sigh as the group of middle aged women eat his ears off about office gossip. Poor guy, you think to yourself and shake your head. You weren't intending on talking to him, you came for the free food, that's what you'd like to think—–He had other plans apparently cause after the women stopped talking he excuses himself and goes sit next to you.

You try to ignore it , but he talks anyway.

“You're quiet, are you always like this?” He asks

“Yeah , I am” you keep your answer short, your voice comes off as uninterested.

“Oh. Okay” he smiles

“Are you always this talkative?” You ask, wanting it to sound sarcastic.

“Yeah, I love talking to people, it's nice you know” he says , his smile warm , you wanna kiss him so bad, you're thinking of what to say next but the food arrives. Thanking God, you didn't wanna keep talking to him.

After that night you go back to being normal, usually at your office, declining drink and dinner offers, welcome back to being miserable. Your friend from college calls you , inviting you to her wedding and sends you the invitation. You decide to go. The wedding was a month ahead. It was more than enough to prepare for the wedding.

The wedding had a theme and none of your dresses fitted that theme.

“Stupid themed weddings , who even made that shit up?” You say as you drive to the mall. You find a dress easily fortunately— when it's finally the wedding day, you dress up, prepare yourself, put on some simple , clean makeup, and look good with the dress you're wearing. You weren't really planning on staying for a long time, you'll attend the ceremony, maybe then leave or stay a bit longer to congratulate your friend. When you arrive, you find a place to sit easily. The ceremony begins and you aren't really interested , just recording a short video for ‘memories’ knowing you'll probably delete the video later. You feel someone sit next to you— you turn to look. It's Jaehyun. You stop recording.

“Oh hey y/n!” He smiles

“Hey..jaehyun” you say awkwardly. This must be a joke.

“you know the bride?” He whispers in your ear so you can hear him over the loud music.

You nod slightly

“Nice! I know the groom” he says and you just nod, not really caring.

“Did you come with a boyfriend or something?” he asks you interestingly. You shake your head.

“I'm here alone, you?” You ask, trying to sound interested.

“Yeah, me too” he says, nodding slightly and continuing watching the ceremony.

After the ceremony, you go congratulate your friend and her husband, Jaehyun, following you to do the same.

After you congratulate her you leave the place finally, your body relaxing , already feeling tired.

“Hey!” Jaehyun says behind you.

You turn around “hey?”

“Why did you leave so early?” he asks

“I'm tired,”

“Want me to drive you home?” he asks

You just shake your head and leave.

The next day was quick to come , going early as usual and some other coworkers were already there , mostly middle aged men that talks about yesterday's soccer match. You roll your eyes and go prepare your morning coffee. And your eyes lay on Jaehyun talking to some coworkers.

Jaehyun's head turns to look at you.

“good morning y/n” he says smiling

“Morning jaehyun” you say and prepare your coffee.

Jaehyun was known as the golden boy of the office for some reason, he's handsome, smart and pretty nice and fun to hang out with, always helpful, he'd be the type to bring coffee to the whole office just because, or invite some coworkers over for dinner , he was the easygoing young gentleman everyone liked, for some reason you never did, is it jealousy? Or envy? Insecurity? You never really knew but you always thought you'd never be getting along with this type of people in general. I mean there is literally nothing wrong with jaehyun and you know it , you know he's perfect. Maybe you just wanna be him or be with him, you're confused and annoyed because no man ever made you feel this confused before. Cause is any man really worth your time and energy?

You try to avoid him as much as you can, but whenever you interact it's either greetings or work related, you don't wanna be attached to him, you already wanna Rip his clothes off..fuck.

You avoid him because you hate him..

Also what if you actually love him..he has girls that like them that you think are much prettier than you, also what would make a guy like jaehyun like you? This gentle, easygoing man like someone like you? That would be impossible, you think. He'd probably think you're annoying, but fuck , you do want to fuck him so bad.

This night you go to bed with a lot of thoughts on your mind , work, your life decisions, something stupid you did years ago and jaehyun..the way you want his hands to hold you while he thrusts inside you..you try to stop thinking about it but your brain pushes the thought right in the front, how his plump lips would feel against yours , your body and your body against his. You decide to finally sleep.

The next day you go to work , not sleeping so well but going anyway. You walk to prepare your coffee as usual. Jaehyun was there as usual.

“Good morning y/n” he says, preparing his own coffee.

“Morning jaehyun” you say as you prepare your own cup.

“So, would you like to grab dinner after work?” He asks. You look at him confusedly , raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah sure” you say and he smiles , showing those sweet dimples you wanna kiss all day

The day passes slowly but finally your shift is over , jaehyun waiting for you outside the building. And smiles when he sees you.

“Hey" he says and smiles

“Hey” you say awkwardly

He drives to a restaurant a bit far away from work

“Why don't you come to the company dinners?” He asks curiously

“I just don't like them” you say looking out the window

“You came to the dinner they made me when I first came though” he says and shakes his head

“Yeah I did” you chuckle

“You're strange” he says

“Oh thank you” you scoff

“No I don't mean it in a rude way” he declares nervously

“It's okay jaehyun it's no big deal”

When you arrived at the restaurant, it was giving romantic vibes , very flowery , very valentine vibes , gosh you already hated it. But try to seem interested in the restaurant.

You two eat , you get comfortable with him which is actually very rare. After both of you finish your meals, the food is surprisingly good.

drives you home, he decides to hold your hand subtly—

“Did you enjoy the food?” he asks gently

“Yeah I did” you intertwining your hand with his

“You have a pretty smile” you say awkwardly, you never really compliment people but you couldn't hold it much

“Thank you, y/n” he smiles.

The rest of the car ride is quiet but it's comfortable. He finally reaches your house.

“Come in?” you say , he looks at you surprisingly obviously not expecting the invite but comes in anyways. Your apartment is cozy and it feels warm and comfortable, you pull him to the couch.

He sits next to you , close to you.

“You wanna drink something?” you ask awkwardly

“No thanks—” he smiles, the poor man couldn't finish his sentence before you crash your lips onto his , expecting that he would push you away , curse you , call you a weirdo , never talk to you— instead he kisses you back , passionately, gently. Resting his hands on your hips as he pushes his tongue into your mouth, he pulls away, taking his breath , you gasp softly, before looking at him with a bit of guilt and regret, he'll call me a weirdo now and leave, instead he stands up and pulls you up with him

“Where's your room?” He asks , his voice slightly hoarse, you take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. He undresses you then undresses himself and push you onto the bed and kiss you again, his hands roaming over your body, you were dripping wet , you need him— so bad, you feel his fingers against your clit , biting your lips so hard it draws blood , he pushes his fingers into your wet entrance.

“You're so wet baby “ he whispers against your ear, his breath hot against it, you squirm slightly as he starts kissing your neck so lustful , so horny

He pulls his fingers out of your wet clit and brings those digits to his mouth licking off the wetness, he kisses you letting you taste yourself on his lips.

“You taste so good” he whispers as he places his cock into your clit , your moans getting louder by the minute. He pushes his cock slowly into you until he's fully in you , you shut your eyes and cover your mouth with your hands.

“Jaehyun” you moan out before kissing him , you can hear him groan onto the kiss, he thrusts into you nice and slow before fasting his pace, slamming his cock into you harder. It felt overwhelming, he pinches one of your nipples with one hand while the other holds onto your hip

While both your hands hold onto your bed sheets as you come over the bed, moaning loudly. He feels himself close and pulls out as he comes over your thighs and lay on top of you, his face buried in your neck. This was insane holy shit?? You thought to yourself. You fall asleep after a while , so does Jaehyun.

At work he acts like nothing happened, so do you

Everything went back to normal, maybe you two became closer after small talks, telling jokes , your coworkers being surprised because this is the same woman that avoided all the attention? This is the same woman who doesn't like gossip or inside jokes?

The more you hang out with Jaehyun, the more you feel attracted. It scared you a bit , you didn't wanna confess, neither to him nor yourself , you didn't wanna admit you actually liked him. He was just a friend right?

Some friends hook up multiple times right? You argue with yourself not wanting to be convinced you like him.

And if anything he should be the one asking you out or confessing to you or whatever.

He keeps being nice , you love him so much oh God.

It was until he invites you to the same restaurant he first invited you to , holding your hand and giving you flowers while smiling.

You thank him nicely and walk into the restaurant. You two talk for a bit before he clears his throat.

“Uh , well y/n , I like you” he blushes slightly, not knowing what to say.

“I know you've made it obvious you don't date people from your work place but can I have a chance? Please?” He asks, his eyes shining, you're stunned for a while..what the hell??

“I like you too jaehyun “ you say awkwardly , your face turning a bit red.

He slowly slips his hands up your chest, fondling your breast all while leaving wet kisses along your shoulder, his pretty soft moans escaping on your skin. “Y/N, wake up,” he whispers.

You let out a soft laugh, making him smile on your skin. “Good morning,” he whispers in your ear. “You look so pretty when you sleep.”

You lift your hand, placing it on top of his already touching your chest. Jaehyun bites his lip softly, feeling you push your ass in his hips, furthermore smothering his hard on. The man feels like he's in a dream, the way you turn, eyes half open as you stare at him still trying to fully wake yourself. He just can't help himself, immediately lifting himself off your shoulder and onto your lips, kissing you in the softest most sensual way possible.

“Good morning,” you said, voice groggy. “At least let me brush first.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. He's got that look in his eyes that means he's not planning on letting you get up from the bed for a while. You feel him move his hand from your chest silently, finger tracing down your stomach all the way between your legs.

You don't stop him when he dips a finger into your pussy, lips grazing your ear. “I'm sorry, I just can't help myself,” he mumbles. You're not looking at him but you can tell he's smiling.

You place your hand over his, pressing your back onto his naked chest, his rapid heartbeat on your back. Jaehyun rubs your clit slowly, pressing his fingers into you. You turn your head, brows slightly furrowed at the butterflies in your stomach. He wastes no time capturing your lips in a deep kiss, tongue instantly on yours. You remove your hand from his, reaching back, wanting to jerk him off, but he shook his head.

“Don't worry about me,” he said almost in a whisper. “You'll get that soon I promise.” He kisses you one more time before going back to your neck. Jaehyun kisses down your body slowly, wet kisses trailing down your side until he moves you, laying you on your back. You can tell where this was headed just by how he stared at you through his bangs.

“Baby please,” you sighed softly. “Let me shower.”

“Fuck no.” Jaehyun kisses your stomach, licking the skin as he prys your legs open. “God you're so perfect.” His body towers above yours, eyes blown with desire as he licks your chest, nipples in his mouth almost instantly. Jaehyun is so lost in your body, eyes closed as he flicks his tongue on the soft bud.

“That feels good hm?” Jaehyun stares up at you, your expressions and noises making him melt in your skin. “Keep making those noises for me princess.”

You felt like you were being punished and rewarded all the same time. He knows your body better than you do, knows what you want to hear, what you want to feel. He's your soulmate and you wouldn't have it any other way.

He moves down your body, shifting under the covers in the king-size bed. You watch as he disappears between your legs. Jaehyun kisses the inside of your thighs, nipping at the skin making you jump. “God I missed this so much,” he mumbled on your skin.

“You ate me out last night,” you giggle softly.

"And I couldn't wait to do it again." He kisses your clit, licking the bud of nerves right after. Jaehyun wrapped his lips around the bud, sucking it. His eyes were piercing as he stared at yours, your body immediately beginning to tremble from the intense pressure. Releasing your clit with a small pop, he guides the hot muscle along your pussy, licking a long stripe collecting your slick on his tongue.

He feels your hands move the blanket from his head, allowing you to see more of his beautiful face. He continues to lick you all over, making you moan more and more. He's so obsessed with you, the way you lay there sleepily eyes still droopy from waking up. Jaehyun knows no one will ever make you feel as good as he does even when he's not even trying.

“My pretty girl,” he mumbles. He reaches up, your hand instantly interlocking with his.

“Jaehyun, it feels so good,” you whimper softly. Your other hand ends up on his head, pushing it forward as you begin to move your hips. Jaehyun is staring at you, almost intoxicated on you, enjoying every moment of being at your mercy.

He keeps his tongue on your clit, moving his other hand between your legs. Jaehyun easily slips two fingers in you, your pussy squeezing around the digits. “Fuck,” you gasp.

“Pretty girl,” he whispers. “My pretty girl. All mine, right?”

“Yes baby,” you moan softly. Jaehyun fingers you slowly but that only amplifies the pressure building in your stomach.

“And this pussy belongs to me right?” You nod fast, whining louder when he fingers you faster. Jaehyun redirects his attention to your clit, tongue flicking the bud with a smirk on his face.

The air blowing in from the ocean mixed with the air in the room, the smell of salt and sex mixed hitting your nose sending a nice zing up your spine. He pounds his fingers into you, every ounce of self control beginning to disappear with every whine and whimper you let out.

“Oh my God,” you moan, throwing your head back. “Feels so fucking good. Keep going, just like that.”

Jaehyun kept his same pace, lips locked around the sensitive bud sucking softly. He could feel your walls behind him tightening around his digits, body beginning to tremble under his touch. Jaehyun knows your body too well, knows you're about to cum right on his fingers.

He feels your hands rake through this hair, a strong grip on the brown locks as you hold his other hand tight. Jaehyun fingers piston in you, the sound of your pussy squelching loud in his ears. “Keep grinding baby, you can do it. Cum for me,” he says softly, eyes locked on yours.

Your hips are moving on their own, jaw dropped as soft moans and whines fall from your mouth. “Fuck, oh my god…” The grip on his hand tightens when your orgasm hits you. That euphoric feeling filling your body. Jaehyun pulls his fingers out, staring at them with stars in his eyes.

You watch him suck his fingers cleans then immediately moving on to your soaking wet cunt, lapping up your cum like it's the last time he'll taste you.

“Holy fuck,” he mumbles. “I am so lucky to have you.” Jaehyun lifts himself up, crawling on top of you. You look so pretty under him, the thin layer of sweat on your face, lips wet and bruised from both you and him biting them.

His cock is hard, thick and long against his stomach. The tip is angry and red dripping with precum, contrast to his soft words and touches. Jaehyun loves the way you gawk. You've been with him for so long, but it still makes you excited and nervous. But aside from your lustful expression, a drained expression consumes you.

“Are you tired princess?”

You nod, lids low in lust. “If you loved me, you'd fuck me back to sleep.”

You didn't have to tell him twice. Jaehyun climbs onto you, falling onto his side. You turn your body to face him, breast pressed against his chest when he wrapped his arms around your waist. His breath is ragged, too gone to reel himself back in.

“Gonna fuck this pussy good, don't worry,” he mumbles, words almost slurred fighting against his excitement. Jaehyun lifts your leg, throwing it over his body. You're impatient and too tired to want to take things slow, so you reach between your bodies, taking his cock and lining it with you. Jaehyun pushes his tip in, a gasp leaving his lips.

“Jesus,” he moaned breathlessly. “You're all mine. All mine baby.”

“All yours.” You cup his cheek, kissing his face while he bottoms in you, splitting you open. Jaehyun thrust in you slowly, too afraid of cumming too early.

He's so deep inside you, his cock rubbing against every ridge inside you making your head spin. You kiss him soft, lips lingering on him as you breath heavily. Jaehyun's hand is tight on your waist, trembling with energy as he drags his cock in and out of you. But his self control can only last so long. He begins to thrust faster, the need for more friction starting to take over.

“Jae,” you whine softly, brows furrowing. “So deep..”

“I know baby, I know,” he coos. His deep voice rings through your ears. The slow pace feels good, too good, but you need more and he could tell. Without a word he pulls out, leaving you empty for a second before he gets in front of you. Jaehyun sheaths himself inside you quickly, pushing your legs up knees to your chest.

The sensation is too great to even make a noise, the moment he begins to drill into you, you go slack jawed. Your hands hold the back of your knees accompanying his hands on your thighs. He pounds into you, the sound of your wet cunt hits his ears making him grin.

“You like my cock so much don't you?” His voice is rough and raspy, breath staggered.

A feeble “Uh huh” is all you could let out, not being able to form the proper words. “Just like that, fuck,” you whimper.

“Anything for you baby. My pretty baby. You're made for me, just for me.. Shit, oh my gosh.” Jaehyun can't stop rambling. He's completely fucked out of his mind. The sensation of your tight wet pussy has him lost, the pleasure fogging his brain a bit too much for his comfort. But he likes feeling lost in you.

“Come here, kiss me daddy.”

Jaehyun lets his body fall, one arm holding himself up, the other wrapping around your waist. Your arms wrap around his neck, kissing him deep and hard, your moans spilling into his mouth every time he hits your sweet spot. You held onto him like your life depended on it, nails starting to dig into the back of his neck.

“Who do you belong to,” he says between gritted teeth.

“You.”

“Good girl. Fuck baby I'm so close,” he groans. “Gonna cum so deep in this pussy. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

You nod fast, whimpers being the only sound you can make at this point. Jaehyun watches your eyes roll back, head slowly falling back as you let out a guttural moan. “I'm cumming Jaehyun.”

“Let go for me babygirl, cum all over this dick.” Jaehyun keeps pounding you, your walls getting tighter and tighter around him. He loves watching you cum, the way your body trembles and the cries you let out are like heaven to him, but he can't stop. He has to cum, he has to breed you. Jaehyun thrust even faster, chasing the high he's been waiting for since the moment he woke up.

“Gonna breed this pussy, gonna make you mine.” Jaehyun's eyes are screwed shut now, fucking you so deep the only thing you can see is stars. You've gone from quiet moans to loud, tired whimpers, begging for more but overstimulated at the same time. “Gonna put a baby inside you princess. You want that?”

“Y-yes put a baby in me,” you whine in his neck.

His grip on your waist gets more intense, shaky groans pouring into your ears when he cums deep inside you. The warm feeling fills you up, providing both of you with a sense of relief. And you kiss him, deep and hard the taste of his sweat hitting your lips onto your tongue.

Jaehyun fully collapsed on top of you, heaving as he buried his face in your neck. He lets a moment of silence pass, taking in the moment appreciating the closeness of your hot bodies. That's when he remembers where exactly you two are. In a beach house, windows open, the smell of the ocean hitting his nose once again mixed with the smell of both your bodies intertwined.

“I love you so much,” he whispers, listing his head when faced with your peaceful expression. You fell asleep. Your pretty lips slightly parted, face still glistening with sweat, arms still around his neck, and cock still inside you. And he could lay with you like this for ages.

he’s not really sure how his friendship with you got to this point. if he could put it simply, you told him that you had feelings for him, asking if he felt the same way. he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t ready to be so vulnerable in front of another person. he still wanted to be friends with you. 

he remembers seeing sadness flash through your eyes, but you just smiled at him and accepted the answer that you got. in a way, jaehyun wished he could like you back, he hated the way he hurt you, but he just wasn’t ready. you were wary around him, trying to hide the hurt that he caused you. he couldn’t bear to see it, and hated how much you were hiding from him.

which is how he finds you next to him, curled up in his bed after he’s made you cum. he knows it probably wasn’t the best idea to propose, but he didn’t know how else he could keep you close. when he explains it to himself in his head, it sounds shitty, makes him feel a little fucked up. he tries to justify it, but really, all of this is a temporary fix to keep you close to him.

despite all the grey areas in his friendship with you, he’s certain about one thing: he really does like having you around. he’s chalked it up to his feelings just being from how long he’s known you, but he knows that there’s something else he doesn’t want to admit. because one, it’s fucked. two, he’s rejected you. three, he can’t like you.

he can’t like like you. he doesn’t even want to imagine thinking about the other word, but it plays at the back of his head sometimes. he hears it when you’re both out at a bar together, watching you drunkenly cling to his side. he hears it when you’re at his apartment after work. he hears it when your eyes look up at his when you drop to your knees.

he can hear it even now as you lay next to him, curled up into his side as your breaths even out. it doesn’t feel weird that he can feel your naked body against his, his best friend comfortably laid up next to him. is it so wrong of him to want this? you became more comfortable around him again after he had sex with you. he knows it’s just a temporary solution.

he can feel your breaths across his chest, your face nuzzling closer to him. he could move you away, could create a clearer boundary between the two of you. he feels a little selfish when he lets you stay there, deciding to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he pushes you closer. it’s not fair to either of you, he’s not your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be this close to you. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the sound of cars driving down the road and the occasional huff you let out in your sleep. he isn’t tired at all, too lost in his thoughts as he stares up at the ceiling, the warmth of your body taking up all his thoughts. if he could, he would go back in time and stop you from confessing. he would’ve done it himself in the future, he just needed a little more time.

he can’t blame you though. it’s his fault for rejecting you, it’s his fault for thinking that he could make something happen out of this. there’s a small part of his heart that believes that you could like him again. you wouldn’t come back to him for sex every night, right? but the more realistic part of him knows that it could mean anything.

which is why he can’t stop you coming to him when you’re needy. it’s not even just those times, but he doesn’t think he could ever willingly cut you off. he likes spending time with you, and above everything else, you’re his friend.

he just can’t help but wish it could be a little more than that.

you always ask jaehyun to come over if he has the time.

as you both have grown older, it feels like you both have lost more and more time. when you were both college students, it was easy to skip a few classes and go to parties each night. but now as adults, it’s hard to find time for each other. which is why you ask him to go do mundane tasks with you, like buying groceries or trying on clothes.

today it’s going over to eat with him.

before he rejected you, it felt special to be invited to do these kinds of things with him. out of all the people he could’ve asked, he chose you. it didn’t take long for you to realize that, no, jaehyun asking you to spend time with him meant nothing but him being friendly. it’s weird looking back at how much you wanted jaehyun to like you more than a friend. 

as you make your way to his apartment, you realize how much time you spent just wishing for something to happen between you two. you wonder if it was something that was ever supposed to happen between you, or maybe if the timing just wasn’t right. you used to find yourself thinking about the what ifs after he had freshly rejected you. but now, you try to focus on what you have.

he’s just your friend, and you’re close to accepting that it’ll probably never be more than that. 

when you make it to his apartment, you don’t see him right away. you call out his name, hearing his voice from his kitchen. when you head over, you’re expecting a nice meal laid out for the two of you to eat. instead, you’re greeted by jaehyun standing by the stove, a stupid smile on his face as he greets you.

“so, you invite me over to come and eat.”

he nods, smile growing wider, “yes.”

“but i’m not seeing any food.”

“that’s because you’re gonna help me.”

you stare at him. he starts moving towards you, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. he starts dragging you towards where he was standing. you start whining, “you don’t need my help. you’re a whole grown man who can cook whatever he wants.”

he laughs, “but i need you to be my other chef… what are they called?”

you roll your eyes, “a sous chef?”

“exactly,” he points at you, as if you just solidified his argument, “what if i forget something and i need your help?”

you pat his shoulder, “then you call me while i sit over on the couch.”

he’s about to give up, but he swears there’s a certain look in your eyes that ask him to keep going. that’s how it always feels with you, a certain push-and-pull that you both can’t let go of. your fingers twitch against his shoulder, almost giving you away. he moves to hold your hand, “how about you at least watch me on the side. i just wanna talk to you.”

you almost want to point out his pouty tone, want to laugh at how there’s a frown on his face. but you can’t. he looks a little too sincere, and you don’t want to think too hard about the feelings he doesn’t have for you. you sigh, eventually giving into his words. it’s always like this, jaehyun acting like he can’t go on without you. that’s what got you here in the first place.

he smiles when you approach him, so close that his arm is touching yours. it doesn’t matter how long or how many times he’s had sex with you, to have you close to him like this makes his heart soar. 

it’s like this for the whole time you both cook. your hands lightly grazing his, the sweet smile you show him when he does good, the laugh you let out when he messes up. you take over some parts for him without him asking you to. he can’t help let his mind wander, thinking this is how it would be all the time if you two were dating.

he wouldn’t have to beg you to do something with him, you would do it on your own accord. he wouldn’t have to hold back how much he wants to kiss you, he could press as many kisses on your cheeks or lips. he could stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you forcibly kick him off of cooking duty.

instead, he’s standing in front of the food he’s making, probably overcooking it as you point and laugh at him. you even take out your phone to take a picture of him, laughing as you fiddle with your phone. he swats at you, grumbling, “if you posted that on instagram, i am definitely blocking you.”

“you know me so well. i tagged you and everything.”

he chooses not to respond, taking out plates from his cabinet for the both of you. he can see you standing next to him, waiting to plate your food. he quickly decides to plate it for you, trying to hide his pink cheeks as he pushes the plate towards you. when he’s plating his own, you speak up, “wow, what a gentleman!” he can hear the teasing tone you use, “you’re really setting the bar for all men, aren’t you, jaehyun?”

he decides to tease you back, “just trying to show you how much nicer i am than you are. you should post this on instagram, too.”

“nope, letting all my followers know how mean and horrible of a cook you are. i’m ruining your chances of getting with someone.”

he shakes his head in amusement, moving to one of the seats on his small dining table. you follow, sitting right across from him. he messes with his phone a bit before you can hear that it’s connected to his speakers. an unfamiliar tune starts playing as you watch jaehyun’s head bob along to the song. 

this is how it always is, eating together, listening to his annoyingly good music taste, and enjoying each other’s presence. the food he cooked is surprisingly good, but you try to denounce it because you did help him along the way. it’s quiet between the two of you, nothing really too important to talk about.

jaehyun notices your fingers tapping along the table to the beat of the song. he smiles, “do you like it? the song?”

you pretend to think about it, “hm... well, it’s good.”

“you’re not gonna secretly shazam it under the table like last time?”

“that was literally a one time thing,” you huff, “i’ll just go and find someone with the exact same music taste as you.”

he smiles to himself, “you know there’s no one else like me.”

you think about his words for a bit. he probably didn’t mean for them to have a double meaning, but you can’t help but find one. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find someone who could’ve made you as happy as jaehyun does. you wonder if you do ever find someone, if you’d be able to forget jaehyun.

you feel like you’ve become so intertwined in his life that everything might lead back to him.

you eventually nod along to his words, “yeah, there’s no one else like you.”

“you’re kinda an ass for not picking her up yourself.”

jaehyun huffs at johnny’s words. it’s not that he didn’t want to, but you had assured him that you would make it on time. when he brought up your safety, you said that it was taken care of already. jaehyun couldn’t help but wonder who or what could possibly be more safe than him, but he didn’t want to argue. 

but now that you’re a little late, he can’t stop himself from worrying. johnny makes it worse, tearing into him, teasing him with every word. jaehyun hasn’t told him about his surfacing feelings for you, but johnny is notoriously nosy, probably knowing the exact day jaehyun thought that he started liking you. 

johnny takes one more jab at him, “she would’ve liked you more if you’d been the one who brought her.”

jaehyun’s shoulder bumps into johnny’s, “she already does like me a lot, so there’s no need for all of that.”

johnny shrugs, letting out an if you say so as he sips on his drink. as much as jaehyun wants to deny it, he really wishes he could’ve at least given you a ride. he would’ve immediately ditched johnny if you asked, would’ve been right outside your doorstep as soon as you said you were ready. he wants to tell himself that that’s just what friends do, but there’s something he doesn’t want to admit.

his hands move to pull out his phone, scrolling through your messages from the past hours. he knows he’s made a mistake as soon as he feels johnny’s eyes looking at his screen from over his shoulder. jaehyun makes a jokingly shocked face at johnny to try to distract him, but johnny’s face mirrors his own. 

johnny’s about to say something with a teasing smile on his face and jaehyun’s ready to stop him. instead, a ding comes from his phone, calling their attention. it’s a text from you, letting jaehyun know that you’re outside. he sends a text to you, his eyes moving to the entrance as he waits for you to walk in.

and there you are.

your eyes scan the room, looking for both him and johnny. jaehyun can feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of you, your face illuminated by the warm lights of the bar. he thinks you look pretty all the time, but now that he’s seeing you like this, he wants to keep it in his memory forever.

you quickly spot them, your face brightening up with a smile as you make your way towards them. you greet the two of them, johnny easily bringing you into a hug. when you turn to jaehyun, you expect the same, but his eyes stay on you for a moment too long. he notices your teasing smile, quickly clearing his throat before wrapping his arms around you.

johnny starts, “always so fashionably late.”

you laugh, “if i don’t come, who else is gonna be the funniest and sexiest person in our friend group?”

johnny moves to tuck an invisible strand of hair behind his ear, “i was holding that position just fine before you came.”

you slap his shoulder, a fit of laughter taking over you. jaehyun watches the two of you, quietly laughing at the side. he likes the dynamic the three of you have, always mentally thanking johnny for introducing you to him. he’d endure all of johnny’s teasing for years if it meant to have you laughing at his side.

it stays like this for a while. the three of you drinking together, laughing when johnny tries dragging you closer to the middle of the room to dance. jaehyun can feel his cheeks get hotter, pink from the alcohol and the not-so-visible adoration he holds for you. he tries to quiet his feelings, but when you lean into his side, your warm body pressing against his, he figures he can give up the act a little.

it’s at times like these where jaehyun realizes that he can see the you from before the rejection. it’s a bit selfish for him crave this side of you, the one where you don’t care how much you touch him or how you continue talking into his ear all night. he thinks that if you were both dating, he could lean over and press a kiss to your cheek, watching as you nuzzle into his side.

for now, all he can do is wrap his arm around yours as you both sway side to side. johnny went off to get another drink, promising to be back quickly. jaehyun has this little time to have you all to himself, listening to the loud chattering around him and the bass of the music loud in his ears. your eyes are closed, humming along to the song.

jaehyun could easily whisper into your ear about his feelings. you probably wouldn’t remember either way, but he knows it’s not right. it’s not like he’d want to do it this way, wanting to tell you honestly. but there’s a growing part inside his brain that’s begging him to do something about it. he has you so close now, so why can’t just say that he likes you?

the thoughts dissipate when johnny comes back, smile on his face with three more drinks in hand. johnny quickly notices how your arm is intertwined with jaehyun’s, and jaehyun can physically see the moment johnny comes up with a plan. jaehyun doesn’t bother moving from his spot, though, willing to sacrifice his humility just to have you by his side.

as if jaehyun wasn’t having thoughts of kissing or dating you, the conversation turns back to normal. the three of you chatting, exchanging work gossip and taking drinks from your cups. it’s like every night this happens, it’s a regular routine of talking and him having to fight back his more than friendly thoughts of his friend. 

except this time, while johnny’s explaining how he thinks his boss might be having an affair, you cut him off. johnny jokingly scoffs, turning to where you’re looking at. you both squeal, johnny’s hands finding your shoulders, shaking them back and forth. you gasp, “that’s him, right?”

johnny matches your tone, “totally him! i could recognize him from anywhere!”

raising an eyebrow in your direction, jaehyun asks, “and who exactly are we talking about?”

you turn back at him, “that’s jungwoo, someone we knew from college!”

the name sounds familiar to jaehyun. there’s probably been a few times you talked about him during one semester. he’s not sure which one it could be, but there’s a memory of a faint smile on your face while talking about him. it sets a weird feeling in jaehyun’s stomach, and he realizes you look a little too excited at the sight of jungwoo.

jaehyun’s arm is still looped around yours, a small frown on his face, “does everyone and their moms know jungwoo now?”

“he was funny in class and he bought me coffee once,” johnny hums.

you join in, “he is definitely funny and he did good when we worked on a project together.”

jaehyun pointedly glares at johnny when he speaks, but when you speak, he just holds you closer to him. he can see how johnny watches him, being reminded of how he looked like he was planning something earlier. jaehyun sees it now, johnny’s face darkening before he speaks, turning to speak to you, “i think you should go talk to him.”

jaehyun sends a pointed glare at him before looking at you, his eyes widening when he sees the shy smile on your face. you ask, “what if he doesn’t even recognize me?”

“why wouldn’t he? he always looked at you a certain way when you guys talked, he definitely remembers you.”

jaehyun wonders why no one told him more about this “jungwoo” and his apparent more-than-friendly feelings for you? if johnny knows, then does that mean the three of you hung out before without him? how much has jaehyun missed between you and jungwoo? jaehyun silently takes another sip of his drink, his eyes peering over his cup as he watches you get lost in your thoughts.

he thinks you might drop the conversation, but you breath out, “i’ll do it. i’ll go talk to him.”

jaehyun tries his best not to acknowledge the growing jealousy he can feel bubbling up in his throat. he has to bite back a remark that would probably make things worse for himself. he decides to let go of your arm, watching as you easily separate from him. johnny starts hyping you up, giving you encouraging words as jaehyun massages your shoulders.

although jaehyun wishes he could say don’t go over there or i’ll die, he decides to send you a thumbs up before you walk away. his throat burns, and as much as he wants to think it’s from the alcohol, it’s from seeing you walk away from him. you’re walking to someone that isn’t him, sharing your warmth that’s supposed to be jaehyun’s.

he realizes then and there that he shouldn’t be thinking that.

you’re pressed against jaehyun’s bed, his face burying into your neck as he leaves kisses across your skin. you had to tell him to not leave any marks when you feel his teeth nip at your skin, and you could’ve sworn you heard a huff come out of him when you did. he’s practically pinning you down, body barely hovering over yours.

there are days where he gets like this, too desperate to where he doesn’t realize he grips you a little tighter, his voice growing deeper, relieving all of his stress by making you both feel good. you can tell when he gets like this, a quick text of an you up? letting you know what he wants. you’ve grown to learn all his habits.

it does feel a little different today, though. he was quick to greet you, quick to bring you to bed to kiss you. there were no words of how work was hard for him or if he was stressed about something that happened. not that there’s anything wrong with him not saying, but there’s a certain desperation in his movements as his lips trail down your body.

you decide not to ask about it, not wanting to pressure him into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about. you’re quick to forget about it when he presses a kiss onto your clothed clit. he calls your name, bringing your attention to the heavy gaze he gives you. he murmurs out, “gonna let me see this pretty pussy?”

you nod quickly, lifting your hips up so he can take off your panties. he moves to lay between your thighs, humming when he sees how you’re dripping for him. it’s embarrassing, trying to close your legs. you’re met with his hands keeping them apart, chuckling at the whine you let out.

“didn’t know you could be this wet for me. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think that you need me.”

you let out a small whimper when he traces a finger down your slit, “jaehyun, please, need you to- need you to do something!”

“tell me what you need, pretty. if you don’t tell me, how am i supposed to help?”

“need you, jaehyun! want your fingers, want you to touch me!”

“of course, that’s all i needed to hear.”

you can feel one of his fingers slide into you, your head falling back onto his pillow at the feeling. you clench around his digit, already begging for more, needing him to fill you up. he doesn’t tease you for being so desperate, quickly giving into your pleas as another finger slips inside you. you let out a cry when you feel his thumb circle around your clit.

“such a messy baby, dripping all over my fingers. needed me so bad, right?”

moans of his name tumble out of your lips when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that sends shocks down your spine. your hands are gripping onto the sheets, realizing just how fast you're about to cum. you’re sure he can feel you clench around his digits, especially when you manage to open your eyes and see him looking straight at you.

“gonna cum all over my fingers?”

“fuck, yes! please, wanna cum, need you to let me cum!”

his movements speed up at your words, “go ahead and show me how much you need it.”

you’re quick to fall apart, your orgasm crashing into you. your thighs shut around his hand that’s helping you ride out your orgasm. all you can hear are the sounds you make and the encouragement that jaehyun mumbles out to you. you’re too fucked out to realize that his clean hand intertwines with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

before you can comment on it, he’s quick to pull away from you, hands moving to undo his pants. you move to try to do it for him, but he swats your hands away with a laugh. after letting you gawk at him for a bit, he takes his boxers off, a whine leaving you at the sight of his leaking cock. he tilts his head at you, “are you gonna let me fill your pretty pussy up?”

“please,” you moan. your legs move to wrap around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. his cock ruts against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm. he shushes you when you let out a small gasp, one of his hands soothing the skin of your thigh. you let out a small cry when his tips rubs against your clit, the last of your patience running out.

you can tell it’s getting to him, too. his cheeks and ears are flushed, his eyebrows furrowed as he switches between watching your face and where he’s pressed against you. he bites back a groan when his tip catches at your entrance, trying hard not to push into you right then and there. he puts all his focus on you, “tell me that you want me to fill you up. tell me that you need me to fuck you.”

you whine, your head digging into the pillow. despite his flushed face, there’s a cocky look on his face as he stares down at you. you’re too desperate to try to fight back, losing the battle as you let out a whimper of his name. there’s almost a surprised look in his eyes as he sees you give up this easily, leaning down to give you a quick kiss to your collarbone.

“i know, baby, need you just as bad. gonna fuck you like you need it, okay?”

you whisper out a thank you as he moves to line himself up at your entrance. he slowly slides in, letting out a deep groan as he watches himself sink into you. he fights off his eyes from closing at the feeling of your tight cunt clenching around his length. you’re no better, writhing around in the sheets, whimpers of his name escaping you.

once he bottoms out, he lets out a grunt, “missed this pussy so much. so fucking warm, so tight, all for me.” you’re quick to agree, hands trying to reach at his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he gives in easily, huffing at how he can feel himself deeper inside you at the new position. he kisses the valley of your breasts, sucking lightly.

he starts off slow, teasing you as he thrusts into you, slow and deep. if you can listen past your own moans and whimpers, you can hear the quiet curses and sounds he lets out, trying to hide how much you’re affecting him. when your nails claw at his back, he breaks, “didn’t even mean to call you this late, i just needed you so bad.”

his words get to you, the fact that he wanted to call you because he was needy makes you clench around him. he can’t help but pick up the pace of his thrusts at the feeling, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. you don’t know what has him so worked up, but if he’s going to make you feel this good, you might have to figure it out.

you need just a little more, your hand trailing down your body to get to your clit. you moan in relief when your fingers circle your clit, clenching tightly around jaehyun’s length. it has his hips stuttering slightly, eyes making their way to your hand. he’s quick to push your hand away to replace it with his own, thumb making tight circles around the nub. 

he move up to whisper into your ear, “only i can make you feel this good, right? i know you better than anyone else, even yourself.”

you shake your head at his words, but your hips roll up into his, trying to fit more of him inside you. he chuckles lowly at the sight, a small smile on his face as he watches you. he’s slamming into you now, any patience he had now gone as he nears the edge. he starts, “no? trust me, pretty. i know just how you like to be touched, how you liked to be fucked. i know you so well that i just know that you’re close to cumming.”

tears prick your eyes, because yes, you are close to cumming. you can’t help it, not when he’s fucking you like this. he’s not usually this talkative, choosing rather to focus on getting away from any stresses. but now, he’s letting you in on his thoughts, letting you know what could possibly be nagging at him. you’ll save it for another time.

you’re surrounded by all of him, chest touching his as his warm breath hits your neck. you used to wish for him to kiss you during moments like these, moments where you’re both so close, adrenaline too high. now, all you can do is whine out his name, begging for him to let you cum.

it’s easy for you to let go of any past emotions you had for him, but for jaehyun, he wishes he could kiss you. he wishes that you could want him again, wishes that he didn’t have to fuck you like this. this is what he wanted, though. he just didn’t think it would be this hard. he tries to ignore it by groaning into your ear, “gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock?”

“y-yes, please! you make me feel so good!”

“yeah? show me then, pretty girl. show me how i’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”

at the sound of his voice, you cum. your chest arches up into his, nails digging into his back as you let go. he’s moaning at the feeling, his hips stuttering as he tries to fuck into your tight pussy. he has to bite down onto your shoulder at the feeling, holding back just how bad he wants to cum inside you.

when you start whining, he’s quick to pull out of your heat, quickly jerking himself off to the sight of how fucked out you look. with a moan of your name, his cum shoots out over your stomach, his cheeks a pretty pink as he does. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the deep breaths you both let out. he’s just staring down at you, saving the image of you covered in his cum in his mind. you don’t mind, too tired to notice the slight adoration in his eyes as he stares. it is embarrassing though, covering your face with your arm as you tell him to move.

he blinks away his thoughts, chuckling at your embarrassment. he pats your thigh, moving away as he goes to get a towel to clean you up. he’s being careful with you, his movements slow as the towel moves around your body. there’s a soft look in his eyes, a lazy smile on his face as he indirectly touches you. he’s quick to throw the towel into his laundry basket, even quicker to join you in bed. 

in a motion that almost seems too soft for the fact that he just fucked you into his sheets, he pulls your back into his chest. one of his hands makes it to your side, letting it sit there. his breaths are evening out, fanning across your shoulder that he nuzzles into. his touches are hesitant against your skin, almost as if he was debating on whether or not he could touch you like this.

you almost want to push his hand away or try to make some space between the two of you. friends should not be holding each other like this, friends should not be letting each other bask in the warmth of their bodies. friends shouldn’t even be having sex, not like this.

but you figure just this once, you’ll let yourself have this moment. it’s a bit selfish, getting to have jaehyun like this. you wished he’d hold you like this every single time. you think if he did, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling back in love with him. there’s no way for you to win when it comes to jaehyun.

as he presses a kiss and murmurs a goodnight into your shoulder, you make a promise to yourself: you won’t ever lose yourself over jaehyun again.

jaehyun realizes how little time he’s been spending with you recently.

he’s been hearing more about this jungwoo guy. you’ve told him can’t hang out, i’m with jungwoo right now or i’ll be hanging out with jungwoo later. you’ve been so busy catching up with jungwoo that jaehyun hasn’t had the time to talk to you. no more eating or shopping together, not when jungwoo’s around.

jaehyun doesn’t want to say he’s necessarily jealous of the relationship you two share, but can’t say it doesn’t sit right with him. jaehyun is still your friend after all, and he doesn’t like hearing you talk so much about him. during the small chances jaehyun gets to talk to you, you always slip in one mention about jungwoo.

what about jaehyun? what does jungwoo have that he doesn’t? he could totally treat and touch you better than jungwoo ever could. he practically does already. he can’t help but let these little thoughts enter his mind. if jungwoo’s in the way, how is jaehyun supposed to show you how much he likes you?

it’s one day that you’re both splayed across his couch, your legs resting over his as his thumb smoothes across the skin of your thigh when jungwoo is brought up again. out of the corner of his eye, he can see you smile and lightly laugh at your phone. jaehyun, being the nosy person that he is, can’t help but try to reach over to see what you’re laughing at.

you’re quick to push him away, chuckling at the sight of the small pout on his face. he tries again, and you decide it’s probably better just to sit beside him instead. you begrudgingly show him your phone, and he squints his eyes so he can read your screen better.

it’s quiet for a few moments before he hums at the texts between you and jungwoo. it’s a conversation funny enough to make you laugh. he tries not to roll his eyes at the cutesy way jungwoo texts, him being clearly interested in you. he doesn’t want to say anything about it though, doesn’t want you to know that jungwoo bothers him for reasons that he shouldn’t be thinking. 

“he’s funny,” jaehyun muses, trying to stop the snarky remark he wants to say.

“way funnier than you,” you tease, watching him deflate back to his side of the couch. 

“there’s been times where you’ve laughed at my jokes though, like laughed laughed.”

“i was either super drunk or bored out of my mind, so those don’t count.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes at you, deciding to ignore your words, choosing to believe that you think he’s the funniest man ever. he’s been finding himself having little competitions with jungwoo that only he’s a part of. jungwoo is funny? jaehyun is funnier. jungwoo is cute? jaehyun is cute, too, just give him a minute.

jaehyun tries to boil it down to the fact he’s always been competitive, but he knows it’s more than that. in his head, it doesn’t matter what jungwoo does better than jaehyun because right now, you're in his apartment, on his couch, deciding to spend meaningless time with him. 

“what have you both been doing? i haven’t seen you at all this week.” he hates how his voice sounds, a little too clingy for his liking, but he hopes you don’t hear it.

“nothing, really. we’ve just been going out to eat or hanging out when we have the time.”

jaehyun figures you both somehow have all the time in the world in order to be hanging out this much. he makes his voice whiny before speaking, “i miss you, please don’t leave me forever.”

you laugh at the sound of his voice, pulling your legs away from him. “you’re acting like me spending time with jungwoo is gonna kill you.”

“what’s killing me is the fact i don’t get to see you that much anymore,” he grumbles. 

he notices that you don’t respond right away, and when he goes to look at you, your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a certain look in your eyes. did he say too much? before he can start panicking, you turn towards him, “don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“pretend like you miss me when we already spend a lot of time together. you literally called me up the other night.”

jaehyun lets out a breath, “sorry, but you’re still my friend. i do miss you, i’m jealous that jungwoo gets to see you that much.” although he says it jokingly, there’s definitely truth behind his words. it might not mean much to you, but the fact that jungwoo gets to see you in a way that only jaehyun feels like he deserves, it hurts him.

“i’m gonna tell jungwoo you’re being mean to him,” you huff.

“tell him then,” jaehyun slings an arm around your waist, “let him know that he needs to learn how to share.”

“first of all,” you slide his arm off of you, “don’t say it like that because you make it sound like i’m an object. two, i think you might need to learn how to share.”

he hums, “you were mine first.”

“i was never yours,” you grouch, “you made that clear when you rejected me.”

he can tell you’re joking, but he can feel his blood run cold at your words. it’s a reminder to him that the rejection is still clear in your mind, reminding him just how much he hurt you. it will always be a reminder of how he messed up what could've been a good relationship with you if he just had more time.

he can’t blame you for his own mistake. he can’t.

in the best way he can, he puts his hands together and grovels, “please, can you find it in your kind soul to forgive me?”

you scoff, rightfully so, before grabbing your phone to take a picture of him. you’re quiet for a few moments more, jaehyun knowing that you’re about to post the picture on your instagram story for everyone to see, including jungwoo. he doesn’t want to stop you, equal parts of wanting to show off how you’re hanging out with him and a little bit of embarrassment. 

you set your phone down, placing your hands on top of his, “you can stop. now i kinda just feel bad for you. you do deserve it, though.”

jaehyun doesn’t move, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes. he can tell you right here, he thinks. he’s thought about what he’d say if he were to confess to you almost too much. he’s practiced his lines before, thinking up the perfect way he’d confess. it almost feels right to do it now, clearing his throat and-

your phone buzzes, pulling your attention away from him. he grimaces when you show him the notification. what seems to be jungwoo’s account liking your story, the story that has jaehyun begging for your apology posted on it. you sigh dreamily, “told you he’s funny.”

“not funny when it’s jungwoo.”

“jaehyun!”

you find yourself drinking at jaehyun’s place again.

it’s a slow night, both of you had stressful days. you choose to stay in jaehyun’s kitchen, laughing at unfunny words and pouring more wine for each other as the night rolls on. you didn’t mean to stay over so late, but jaehyun practically begged you to spend some time with him. you were quick to say yes under the guise that all he wanted to do was be with his friend.

before the night went too deep, you texted jungwoo saying that you probably won’t be able to call him tonight. he responds quick, a have fun! and i hope you sleep well :) flashing on your screen. you smile warmly at the messages, but quickly notice jaehyun also staring at them. you push at his shoulders, whining over how he’s invading your privacy.

his cheeks are rosy from the wine, a sly smile on his face as he asks, “how am i not supposed to look when i see you smiling like that.”

“you’re supposed to be a good friend and support me in my times of need!”

he puts his hands up in defense, that annoying smile still looking back at you, “thank you for being so vulnerable around me. and who’s to say i don’t support you in your times of need?”

you hear the double meaning in his words, swatting him away, “hey! you’re actually so gross.”

he just chuckles at your words, enjoying how easily you get embarrassed at his teasing. it’s been happening more often, and jaehyun can’t help but piece together that it might be because of jungwoo. jaehyun feels that you might be slipping away right in front of him, and he can’t really do anything to stop it.

you aren’t completely unaware of jaehyun trying to get you to hang out with him. he’s been sending more texts recently, nothing really important being said. you’re not sure how obvious you’re being with jungwoo, but you’re sure that jaehyun has at least an inkling on how you feel about him. which leads you to believe that jaehyun might be a little jealous.

it was never your intention to make him jealous. that night when you first saw jungwoo again was all unplanned. you never thought you would end up talking to him, never thought you’d like the way he treated you. he was so sweet to you, always trying to take care of your every need when prompted.

it’s bad to compare, but you realize that jaehyun’s only being so nice to you now is because jungwoo’s being nice to you. 

that’s not to say that jaehyun was never not nice to you, but you could tell that it’s a different kind of nice when it comes to him. the relationship you have with jaehyun now feels more like a bandaid to cover all of the bad things that have happened, no one bothering to address it. you don’t want to either way, no use in bringing up what shouldn’t be talked about.

even now, as you’re here with him in his kitchen, feeling the cold air from the open window drift in, there’s unspoken words between the two of you. you can hear the music playing from his speakers in the other room, the melody sticking in your head. it’s weird to think that you would’ve never gotten to see jaehyun like this if you didn’t stay with him.

it’s quiet for a few moments, apart from jaehyun humming along to the song that’s playing. it’s dark, his warm lights low as they cover the both of you. it’s nice like this, a little drunk and a little quiet; you don’t have to think about anything you don’t want to. you don’t think before you speak, “i do miss you, too, you know.” 

“yeah?”

“you’re still someone i appreciate, even after everything.”

he doesn’t respond, and you think he’s taking in your words. you’re not sure why you didn’t specify ‘friend’ but you know he knows better than to have his hopes up anymore. you see that the tips of his ears are pink, the lazy smile on his face showing that he’s a bit tipsy too. he’s not looking at you, you’re not really sure what he’s thinking-

“i think… i think i love you.”

“what?”

his eyes immediately snap to yours, widening as he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. slightly panicking, he stands up, trying to backtrack, “no, i- look-”

“what did you say?”

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it-”

“what does that even mean? you can’t just randomly say you love me and then take it back?”

he chooses not to answer right away, eyes darting all around as he tries to come up with an answer. he can fix this, he can help himself, it’s just… he doesn’t really want to. it’s almost selfish with how he feels a little relief with his confession. “since you’re asking,” he starts, “i… i like you. i’ve liked you for a while now.”

when he looks at you, the anger from before is still there. you’re biting down on your lip, hands balled at your sides as his words hit you. “jaehyun… do you know how wrong that is? since when? after you rejected me?”

“no, i- fine. yes, after i rejected you. i know it’s wrong and i know i shouldn’t but it clicked for me, even if it was a little late.”

“a little late? jaehyun, you’re telling me this after you know i’m talking to someone. you knew that there’d be a high chance that i wouldn’t feel the same. i know you’re not that dumb.”

“but that’s how you felt when you asked me out? even if there was a chance that i would say no to you, you still did it, right? that’s exactly how i feel, how bad would it be if i tried?”

a shocked laugh leaves you, “that isn’t fair! you’re not being fair! you’re not thinking about how i would feel knowing this!”

you think he knows that it’s not the same between you and him. you confessed because you genuinely thought you had a chance with him. jaehyun’s only confessing because you’re talking to jungwoo. 

“i should’ve never let this happen! fuck, i knew if i kept talking to you, something bad would happen.”

he scoffs, wanting to call out your bluff. “i never forced you to come over and talk. you weren’t forced to come over and have sex with me. you could’ve stopped this at any time, but you kept coming back to me.”

you let out an exasperated sound, “we were friends, jaehyun. friends hang out and talk, that’s literally all we were doing.”

he snaps, “friends don’t fuck. friends don’t hold each other after sex. you can’t say that you didn’t feel anything between us. that’s the whole reason i called you for sex the other day, i needed you."

you can hear how loud your heart is pounding in your chest. your head hurts already, the faint song playing in the other room only adding to the pain. there’s nothing more that you want to do than just go home. you wish you could’ve been more clear, you wished you would’ve drawn a clearer line between the two of you. now you’re stuck like this.

you sigh out, mumbling into the quiet air, “if i had known that you were gonna be like this, i would’ve made sure to end whatever we had as soon as possible.”

“if you never met jungwoo, then this probably never would’ve happened. i could’ve asked you out the normal way, but you kind of forced me into drunkenly confessing to you.”

you send a glare straight at him, “do not assume how i would feel in any situation. the fact that you didn’t even want to tell me that you liked me says everything i need to know.”

“how was i supposed to tell the girl i rejected that i like her now?”

“exactly! don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

he shrugs, closing himself off before you can start up again. you know how he gets, pretending that none of this really matters to him. it’s childish, and you know he knows it. you don’t know what else to do. if he can’t sort himself out, there’s no reason for you to be here anymore.

you’re quick to get up and out of the kitchen. he doesn’t look at you at first, but as soon as he hears you pack your stuff into your bag and your car keys in hands, he follows right after you. there’s a startled look on his face, you can tell that he didn’t think you would leave him. you watch as he raises a hand to stop you, but quickly puts it down after some thought.

you let out a breath, “i’m leaving. you can decide if you want to pull yourself together and grow up if you wanna talk. if not, don’t even bother texting me.”

he doesn’t try to argue, watching as you walk out his door. he can’t feel anything, doesn’t really want to do anything other than lay in bed. he walks over to his bedroom, the sound of a familiar slow song getting louder as he walks closer. he makes it inside, pausing the song before laying down onto his back. it’s quiet again.

he just ruined everything.

for the first time in a while, your life feels kinda normal.

there’s not a lot for you to worry about if you ignore a few things. work is fine, your friends are celebrating your freedom, and jungwoo comforts you in every way possible. you realize that jungwoo might’ve been everything you’ve been looking for in a person. he stays close when you need him and gives you space when you ask.

you tell jungwoo that you’re happy to have him right now. you tell him that you’re sorry for acting a little weird recently (he quickly denies your claim). you don’t tell him exactly what happened with jaehyun, but you can assume he at least knows a little. he doesn’t try to pry it out of you, choosing not to remind you of something you don’t want to think of.

and you’re not thinking about it. you haven’t gotten any texts from jaehyun, so why should you care?

as much as you don’t want to admit it, it does feel weird not having jaehyun in your life. you didn’t realize how much you thought about him or how much time was dedicated to being with him. it didn’t seem to matter at first because you thought it was because you both were friends, but you realize he was kind of stringing you along.

there’s a lot of time you have to yourself now. you don’t have to worry about jaehyun calling you randomly throughout the day or one of his spontaneous meetups. you don’t have to think about his you up? texts during the late hours of the night. you don’t have to think about any hurt he’s caused you in the past. none of it will mean anything anymore.

until you get a call from johnny.

“hey, johnny. what’s up?”

he skips right past your greeting, “why doesn’t jaehyun want to hang out with you?”

you’re shocked for multiple reasons. one, of course, johnny already knows your business. two, how dare jaehyun say he doesn’t want to hang out with you. you scoff, “what exactly did he say?”

“he said he was busy, but, like i know he’s not gonna be busy. and that obviously means that something is going on between you two.”

you want to scream into your phone’s microphone. jaehyun doesn’t deserve to set the boundary between you two. he was the one who messed it up in the first place, so why is he the one trying to put distance between you two? “johnny,” you start, “do you promise not to tell anyone about what i’m about to tell you? you can’t even tell jaehyun.”

he lets out a little shocked sound and you can imagine him sitting up straight. he whispers into the call, “what is it?”

“the other night, jaehyun told me he likes me. actually, in his own words, he said he thinks he loves me.”

he gasps loudly into the phone, “what? are you sure? like jaehyun said that? jaehyun?”

“exactly! it doesn’t even seem like something he’d do! he said it was because we were both drinking.”

“that doesn’t even matter,” johnny sighs, “you don’t go around saying that to your friend, especially not the friend you rejected before.”

“you get it! that’s literally what i told him! i need to sit down with you so we can discuss this.”

it’s quiet on the other side of the call, and by his silence, you can tell he’s planning something. it’s never good when he does, so you try to call out his name before he can think any more, but you’re too late.

“i think you should sit down with him to talk about what happened.”

you sarcastically laugh, “he hasn’t even texted me, there’s no way i’m talking to him first.”

“i didn’t say you should text him first, i’m just saying that you both should talk. you can’t just leave this off on bad terms.”

“and if i want to?”

“i know you don’t. plus, it feels like i’m a child whose parents are going through divorce, so you need to fix this.”

you whine into the phone, which causes johnny to laugh on the other end. he’s right, you don’t want this to end badly with jaehyun. even if you both decide to never talk again, you don’t want to have a strained relationship with him. after a few moments, you answer him, “fine, but don’t have your hopes up because even i don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“okay, perfect, because i already kinda convinced jaehyun to meet up with you.”

“johnny!”

he defends himself, “like i said, i’m basically seeing you guys go through a divorce. please bring my family back together.”

“whatever, do what you want to do.” johnny cheers from the other end of the call, quickly letting out an you won’t be disappointed! before he hangs up, not even letting you say goodbye. as much as you try to hide it, a part of you is happy at the thought of jaehyun wanting to work things out with you.

even if you don’t know what you want just yet, you’ll get yourself ready.

you realize you’re no longer happy when a few days later, jaehyun shows up to your front doorstep, a frown painted on his face.

you almost want to slam the door on him when he speaks. his voice is quiet, “why did you tell johnny you didn’t want to hang out with me?”

as soon as he stops talking, it all clicks in your head. johnny tricked you both. you’ll have to get mad at him later, but for right now, you have to deal with jaehyun who’s pretending he didn’t just ignore you for almost two weeks. you reluctantly let him in, watching as he walks in almost too normally.

no one bothers talking, no one trying to make the first move. you’re staring him down and he tries to ignore the hard stare you’re giving him. while you’re glaring at him, you can see how he looks more tired than usual. the faint lines under his eyes give it away, and when he does finally make eye contact with you, it’s soft, no anger behind his eyes.

you step back, breathing in before speaking, “let’s go talk in my room.”

he sends you a soft smile, not needing you to guide him to your room. he knows the whole layout by now, feeling more like he’s leading you to your own room. he opens the door for you, choosing to let you walk in first. it’s awkward when you have to motion for him to step in, watching him not really knowing what to do.

you move to sit on your bed, and he moves to sit at your desk. it’s not as awkward as it is tense. you don’t know what to say, you didn’t plan on him coming over. his eyes are darting across your room, his eyebrows furrowed as he presumably tries to start the conversation.

“how are you doing?”

you roll your eyes at the simple question, “i’ve been doing fine. i feel like my life’s been a lot calmer since that day.”

he leans forward in his seat, “really? i feel like i’ve lost ten years of my life.”

deserved, you think. you gather all your thoughts before speaking, “i think the days that i spent without thinking about you really changed how i feel. i realized just how much i was entangled in your life. it wasn’t good for me.”

he looks off to the side, taking in your words. you see the hurt that settles in his face, you see how it’s going to be burned into his memory. he smacks his lips, “i think for me it’s the opposite. i realized during this time without you really solidified my feelings. i can’t lie and say that my feelings have changed, because they haven’t.”

you feel anger bubbling up inside you, but you can’t do that today. you take a few breaths, calming yourself down as you focus on what you’re most curious about, “why did you start liking me?”

“i don’t even know. i know it’s shitty of me to realize how much you mean to me after i said no to your confession. i understand why you said no to me.”

“i’m sorry for getting mad so quickly. it was just so out of the blue, i never would’ve expected you to say that.”

you pat the spot on your bed next to you, calling his name softly. he slowly moves to your side, his eyes focused on his hands splayed across his knees. after all this time without you, he wishes he could hold your hand in his, even if he tried to play it off as a joke. it’s been too long without your touch. you took away the only thing that kept him close to you. 

“can i ask something?”

he nods, putting all of his focus on you. it feels intense when he does, you haven’t had him this close in a long time. you clear your throat, “this wasn’t all because of jungwoo, right?”

he sighs, his jaw clenching as he thinks of the right words to say. he’s deep in thought, and you almost want to tell him to drop it all together. he decides to speak up, “honestly? seeing you both together kind of made me realize my feelings. i was losing you to him, and i really couldn’t handle it. i’m not trying to ruin whatever you have going on with him, i promise.”

you don’t know what else to say. so much of this could've been prevented if you kept an eye out for yourself. you also wouldn’t want to go back and change what you’ve done. you don’t regret ever being jaehyun’s friend, you don’t regret all the memories you’ve made with him. 

“so, this… this is really over then?”

you shrug, “i would think so.”

it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of you letting the thought seep in. “this” has never been defined between the two of you, but you can assume it’s almost everything you do together. what you’re feeling now is close to how you felt when he first rejected you. what’s different now is that you can’t help but feel just a little relieved, ending something that probably should’ve never happened.

in another world, you think you would’ve reciprocated jaehyun’s feelings. it would’ve been easy, pieces easily falling into place as you both fall for each other. it’s almost as if it were supposed to be something that was natural. but jaehyun had given the time for you to move on, and you did. it was too late for him to realize his own feelings.

“we can still be friends if you can handle that.”

he laughs incredulously, “if i can handle that? i’m a grown man, thank you very much.”

“yeah? well i think if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings,” you tease.

he grumbles, “too soon, you’re too mean.”

jaehyun watches a pretty smile adorn your face, and if it weren’t for the current circumstances, he would tell you how pretty you look. he keeps the thought to himself though, opting to ask, “how about one last drink together as friends who are a little more than friends?”

you hum, pretending to think about it. you watch worry wash over his face, and you do feel bad a little bit. “one more time, just for your sake. you look like you might start crying.”

he groans as you walk away to get some wine for the both of you. you’re by yourself for a few moments as you pour the drinks. you feel awkward in here by yourself, left with thoughts and memories of all the things you’ve done together. all the times you’ve had sex, all the times where he’s felt like your boyfriend, but none of it holds to him being your friend.

you don’t know if you can continue being friends with him. 

it would be unfair to jungwoo. you haven’t told him the exact dynamics of how your friendship with jaehyun worked, but you can assume he knows most of it. 

you return to the sight of jaehyun looking around your room. he’s been in here too many times to count, and yet seeing him here now, it’s weird. he feels out of place, he feels almost like a stranger in your own apartment. despite the history you have with him, it seemed to fall apart so easily as soon as conflict hit.

he thanks you quietly when you hand him the glass. you take a small sip of your drink, watching jaehyun do the same from the corner of your eye. after the drink, he chooses to speak, “so how are you and jungwoo?’

“that’s how you want to start our small talk?” you splutter out.

“i mean, can i not be interested in my friends' love life?”

well it’s hard when you were directly involved in it. you shrug, taking another small sip before speaking, “i’m… really happy that i’m talking to him. he takes care of me, he’s always asking how i’m doing. it’s nice being with him.”

you can tell jaehyun is trying not to let your words affect him, “are you both… officially dating yet?”

his words make you shy, your facing feeling hot at the idea of dating jungwoo. brushing off his words, you laugh, “no! not yet, at least. i think i’d say yes if he asked me out.”

he nods, his head hanging heavy, hand twirling the wine in his glass. you know what he’s thinking, you don’t need to ask him. you can’t be his, you won’t ever be his. you think that this was never supposed to work out, no matter how hard you tried or how much you think he could’ve loved you. he wasn’t meant for you.

“okay, one more thing.”

he nods, turning his attention back on you.

“did you really mean it back then, like, when you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship?”

“yes, i was scared. i think back then, even though i didn’t realize it, i also had feelings for you. but it was… it just wasn’t the right time for me. even though i liked spending so much time with you, there were things i wanted to figure out first.”

you cock your head to the side, “like?”

he hums in thought for a bit, trying to remember times from so long ago. thinking back, you remember how you felt old, you felt like you were already an adult. but he’s right, there were still things you didn’t know about yourself, and you wonder if dating jaehyun would’ve stopped you from figuring them out.

“i guess… mostly wanting to decide what i wanted to do with my life. now that i’ve somewhat settled, i feel more confident in what i want. even though it came at the worst time, i was so sure that i could see you in my future.”

the confession doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. you can relate to how he feels. for the longest time, you felt that you needed jaehyun in your life. it wasn’t until after he confessed to you that you saw that there’s more to your life than him. you’re thankful for all the time you’ve had with him, but there’s still so much more for you to do.

it’s like this for a few more hours, the sunset bleeding into the night time. you both have a few more drinks, jaehyun eventually turns on music playing on his phone. you feel a lot better now. you only want the best for jaehyun, and you think that this is the best for the both of you.

jaehyun has to leave at some point, one of the last buses back to his place coming soon. you don’t want him to go, you don’t want him to leave the comfort of your bedroom. there’s a small part of you that’s scared that you’ll never see him here again. you try to remind him that this is what you both need, clear, distinct boundaries.

you walk him to your door, “you’ll text me once you're at your apartment, right?”

he shuffles over, “yeah, i will. johnny will make sure i get there safe.”

you nod, opening the door for him. he walks out, watching you with an unsure look on his face. a part of you wants to let him in, wants to let him give you one last kiss. it’s wrong, your grip on your door getting tighter at the thought. he still has a strong pull on you, your hand wanting to reach for his.

it’s not meant to be.

“goodnight, jaehyun. i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“alright, goodnight. i… i’ll be here if you ever need me. i’ll wait.”

you smile, “i know. thank you, get back safe.”

he nods, waving you off before he walks away. you close the door, locking it behind you. it’s quiet now, no soft conversations, no laughing, just the sound of your feet pattering on the floor. 

you don’t really feel like crying. you don’t feel like there’s something missing inside you. jaehyun used to be a big part of you, but as time went on, he took up less and less space.

there’s more important things to worry about than someone who couldn’t make time for you. you have time to figure things out now, you have time to figure out what you really want, whether that’s jungwoo or someone else. 

you’ve never felt better. 

as jaehyun scrolls through instagram, he sees a post from you. it’s been a while since he’s seen you in person, so he’ll take anything he can get. the first few photos are of you, and the next few are pictures of things he assumes you found pretty. the last photo is what makes him pause, a photo of what he can only assume is jungwoo holding your hand.

he checks the comments, some of your friends replying with different emojis, all to tease you with. they all seem to know about your budding relationship with jungwoo. jaehyun’s glad that it’s going well for the both of you. it’s what you deserve after what he put you through.

he hung out with you and johnny the other day. as much as everyone tried to be normal, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he changed the dynamics of your friendship. you and johnny were the same, easily laughing and joking around with each other. it’s not exactly awkward when you and jaehyun talk, but the air around you is certainly different.

it’s what should’ve happened, at the start of it all you both should’ve set rules. jaehyun realizes that he would’ve never gotten to see you in the ways he did. warm lights from his kitchen painting over your skin, or when the light from the moon would shine over your body while he holds you close. he wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

you were all he had, and losing you is something he will always regret. he knows that you’re doing good now, not just with jungwoo. he doesn’t want to come in and ruin what you’ve built up. it doesn’t matter how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss you, you’re better off without him.

he just wishes he had more time.

a/n: hey people... what did we think of this ending... jaehyun is my friend i do not hate him i like him... anyways i hoped u like this... it took longer than i thought it would but im glad its out HOORAYYY

“i’m taking them to afters. you in?” “johnny, listen to me. i need three things. water, a vicodin, and the greasiest pizza of my life that’s currently waiting for me in my fridge. you go to afters, i’m calling an uber” everyone walks outside together, greeted by the sharp cold air that quickly reminds you just how many shots you took tonight. “great, no service.” how the hell are you gonna call an uber now? “i can just drop you off on the way, it’s cool” johnny says. practical, if your house weren’t on the complete opposite side of the city. “just come back to mine” jaehyun offers in front of everyone. you shoot him a glare. “we can walk from here, i have a couch. and snaaacks” you roll your eyes. “i also have wifi. you can call an uber from there… that is, if you don’t pass out first.” “sounds like a plan. i’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re alive. love you!” johnny presses a kiss to your cheek, and just like that you watch as your sober best friend leaves your drunk, dizzy ass in the care of the one person you know you can’t resist. but you can’t blame him. everyone knows jaehyun is harmless. a true gentleman. nothing to worry about! but what they don’t know is that the moment you and jaehyun are alone, his lips are guaranteed to find yours. and you don’t know how long you can resist giving into him with your head in this state. but you start walking anyway.

“‘just come back to mine’? could you be a little more obvious next time?” “we both knew you were coming over tonight,” he smirks, “they wouldn’t leave, i just wanted to speed things up a little. at least this time you don’t have to turn your location off.” he laughs as he slips his hand into yours. “just try to remember how much i’ve had to drink tonight before you try to pull anything okay?” he dramatically gasps and clutches his chest “ouch. who do you think i am?!” “i’m serious!” “babe trust me, i know your rules.”

on the walk, he has to steady you approximately four times. as you approach his apartment, he hums a soft tune and takes you in his arms to slow dance on the sidewalk. with your head against his chest, he asks “has the world stopped spinning for you yet?” “i think so. why?” “i really can’t have you puking once we’re inside” “ohhh my god” “i’m serious, i would be so embarrassed” he laughs. “fuck off” you giggle and push his chest. you enter his gate code and reach the elevators, pressing the button to his floor before he can. he smiles watching you know your way up to his place like it’s second nature. as the elevator doors shut, he presses your back against the wall and places his hands on either side of your head. “i’ve been waiting all night to tell you how beautiful you are.” “jeong jaehyun, you promised not to try anything tonight.” “i wouldn’t dare” he whispers with two deep dimples growing on his cheeks as he dips down to your ear “unless you dared me to” and his hands slide down your sides making their way to land at your ass. “watch those hands, jeong” “mm, yes ma’am” his lips find the nape of your neck and you can feel his breath tickling your skin. your arms slide up over his shoulders and your hands bury into his fluffy hair, pulling gently enough to guide his lips to yours. you feel his knee creep between your legs and your breathing hitches. just in time, the elevator dings and the doors slide open to the 12th floor. jae bites his lip and playfully punches the wall, you giggle “you asshole.” nothing to sober you up like sexual tension that’s been brewing for over 4 months.

when you met jae last year, you had a boyfriend. what you thought was a happy 3 year relationship relationship ended 6 months ago after he said he needed time apart. your best friend johnny helped you through most of the mess, but with his busy schedule he couldn’t always be there. and when you met jaehyun, johnny’s hometown best friend, he happened to go through something similar the year prior. the three of you got really close, and jae was there to lend a shoulder to cry on. which eventually turned into… well, this. but he’s a year’s worth of healing ahead of you. a year that included hooking up with half the school’s cheer team. you can’t blame him, you probably would’ve went out looking to hook up with people too if he weren’t already there. and even though you want to sleep with him, you don’t know that it’s the best idea given that he’s your best friend’s best friend and all.

so here you are. in his apartment, putting on one of his oversized shirts, washing your face with your stash of toiletries in his bathroom, while he’s heating up the leftover pizza in his fridge and pouring the world’s coldest glass of water for you. pretending like pet names, stolen glances, hidden touches, and quick make out sessions all in secret are enough for either of you. you want him. and you know he wants you. you just can’t. not yet. not until you’re ready to tell johnny. so you set boundaries. and jaehyun is respecting them. or, he’s trying like hell to at least. he doesn’t really get the reluctance on your end, but he also says that this isn’t just casual to him, so he wants you to be ready too and will wait for when the time is right. always a gentleman, as established. annoyingly, the gentleman in him just makes you want him that much more. it’s just in his nature. and it’s infuriatingly hot.

so after you finish your pizza and wash up, you head to the linen closet to look for a blanket and pillow. for the couch. but he quickly trails behind, closes the door, spins you around, and whisks you up into his arms. “yeah yeah, ‘you can take the couch’” he mocks himself from earlier in the night. “you’re hilarious.” you laugh, throwing your legs around his waist as he walks you into the bedroom. “just wanted to see if you’d really banish me to such agony on the world’s most uncomfortable sofa” “you didn’t seem to mind it when i was on top of you on it last night” and you smack his shoulder “my neck is still sore actually i’ll have you know” “oh, right, i’ll be sure to get my best masseuse right on that” then he lays you down on your side of the bed and plants a peck right under your ear before standing up to take his shirt off and crawl over you to his side. he shimmies an arm under you and squeezes you into him before laying one more kiss to your shoulder and mumbling a groggy “sweet dreams, gorgeous.” you fall asleep smiling, thinking about how perfect you feel in his warm arms.

by some miracle, the next morning you wake up still with your back to his chest. it doesn’t take long to notice he‘s awake too because you feel his hands start to roam. you breathe out a laugh with a “good morning to you too” his hand slides across your body and when it finally lands at your ass you lean into his grasp. once he starts playing with your hemline, you know what he’s really after. “you know you’re just making it harder for yourself.” “mhm i can definitely feel myself getting harder, yeah.” and you can’t help but laugh again “you’re ridiculous.” still on your side, he grabs one leg and swings it over toward him so that you’re now on your back with your legs in butterfly position. your eyes meet his as his hand slithers across your chest and makes its way down to finally land at your core where he lightly runs a few fingers over your underwear. even though your hips respond and your breath catches in your throat, you snap back to reality and grab his wrist, moving his arm back over your stomach instead “what do you think you’re doing?” “baaabe” he whines “you’re in my bed. in my arms. in my shirt. with no pants on. and i’m hard. you know i’m not that strong.” “babe?” you laugh “it’s gonna take more than babe to get me to fold.” you can hear the smirk on his face when he says “you almost did though,” and he leans down to your ear to whisper “i know you’re wet right now too.” and another kiss to your jaw. then to your neck. you have to bite your lip to keep from giving into him. “just because i want to doesn’t mean i think we should. and you promised nothing funny!” “i promised nothing funny last night. i made no promises about the morning.” you just give him a “really?” look. “i know, i know. but come here.” a few more shifts around in the bed and you’re tucked into his side with your head on his shoulder and one of your legs intertwined in both of his. “hey” he says in a low voice and reaches to lift your jaw up to look at him “kiss me” he softly demands, though it almost sounds like begging. and with a simple smile, you quietly comply.

one soft and slow kiss that sends magic through your spine turns into several long, drawn out kisses. you meant it. you want him. practically need him. you know it, your body knows it, and you know he knows it too. but this is going to have to be enough for now. once you feel his tongue ask to be let in, you find yourself propped up on your elbow while your other hand makes its way up to get lost in his hair. the kisses deepen and quicken along with your heart rate, and all you can focus on is the sound of his hums against your lips and the feeling of his hands tightening around your waist. your mouth finds its way down his jaw and to his neck. with pressure, you lick along the vein that you know drives him crazy. this time you earn a moan from his parted lips. the fluttering in your stomach reminds you how much you love to hear him react to you. if he knew exactly what that sound just did to your stomach, he’d never let you live it down. he already knew how wet he got you earlier, now you wanted to know how hard he was for you. your knee creeps up between his legs and immediately you can feel him beneath his sweats. his arms tighten their grip on you once more as he sucks in air between his teeth “oh fuck, are you trying to kill me?” “maybe a little” you giggle. “you brat.” and when he takes your lip between his teeth, you let out a soft moan. “mm, look at you, i knew you couldn’t resist me.” you roll your eyes and with an eyebrow raised you threaten, “do you want me to stop?” “hell no, come here” and he lifts you to straddle him in the perfect position to feel him against your core.

you fall to meet his lips with yours and with his fingers all but snapping from digging into your ass, he breaks to say “is this okay?” hearing him ask for permission makes you blush at how sweet he is even when you’re literally on top of him. and though you do question how much longer even you can hold out, you still nod and plant one small kiss on the corner of his lips “it’s okay.” “just tell me when to stop, okay?” for a moment he starts guiding your hips against his own, then tries to sit up to kiss at your chest, but you can’t help than to shove him back down. you lift his arms to relax behind his head, grab onto abs, and roll your hips against his. “just watch me okay” his hips jolt up and you both moan out. “oh fuck, baby. i swear you’re gonna be the end of me.” but you want more. you need more. “sweats. take them off” “mmm, are you sure? i don’t think i can stop myself if there are any less layers between us” you know you told him to wait. you know that’s what you believe is right. but you love hearing how badly he wants you. fuck it. “me neither. take them off” and he does what he’s told. you find him again and your hips find their rhythm. you can see the crease between his brows getting deeper as both of your breathing gets heavier. his hands slide up your waist and lift your shirt so that just enough peeks out. “yeah baby. right there, mm my good girl. my gorgeous girl.” you need to feel his skin against yours, so you lift your shirt over your head exposing the rest of your body and pull him back up to you by his shoulders. you lose some friction at your center, but, when his tongue and teeth find your chest, it sends you reeling. “jae. jaehyun. baby i need you.” “yeah?” “yes. yes, i want to” and before you could even finish your breath he flips you onto your back and removes this boxers.

once he’s hovering over you again, your legs hook around him, squeezing his body down onto yours. his cock grazes against your clit and as a shrieking whine escapes your lips, he’s practically growling. “holy shit, it’s so fucking hot how wet you get. all for me.” his hips are moving now, and with your tongues practically fighting each other, you reach down to properly coat the rest of him with your slick. after a few pumps, you place him against your cIit again, this time making sure he’s applying even more pressure against you while you run circles around his tip. “fucking shit. fuck. mmm does that make you feel good? i want you to feel good for me baby” your nails are digging into his back at this point, you could probably come just from the way he’s talking to you. you can’t wait any longer. “i need to feel you jae. all of you, inside of me. please.” “mm whatever you need baby. i can’t wait to be so deep inside of you, feel you squeezing me with that perfect little pssy. is that what you need? i want you to come for me, okay?” and you can feel him lining himself up with your entrance when he pauses.

“wait wait wait stop. look at me.” what the hell is doing? “no, why did you stop?” “baby you know how badly i want this. fuck… how badly i need you. and i’ll do whatever you want, i just. i just want you to be sure first. for yourself. i don’t want you to feel like you had to change your mind just because of me.” he’s right. but unfortunately, that’s turning you on even more. you sweep his sweaty hair away from his eyes, cup his face and say “jae i appreciate you saying that, but don’t you dare stop again. i need you to make me come all over you okay?” and your hips move to welcome him against you again. a single heavy sigh and he says “i should get a condom.” but you shake your head “not this time. just this once.” “i can’t say i’ll be able to stop myself in time to pull out” “and i don’t want you to” “fuckkk me.” and he flexes to begin pushing into you. slow and steady as you open up around him. he can tell you’re impatient but even with how ready your body is for him, you still wince. “easy, don’t hurt yourself baby. you’re still so tight for me. we’ll get there.” three more pumps. in and out. little by little. every moan from him, every whimper from you, every squeeze, every breathe. it all feels like complete bliss. just two more. and you’re finally full. “just lie back okay? god you’re so fucking beautiful.” and he, still calmly, starts moving in and out of you in longer strokes. once he finds a steady pace, you make sure to tighten your core to grip onto him as he slides out. this beckons a lowly laugh and certain profanities under his breath “you fucking brat” and he picks up speed. “you just want me to ruin you, don’t you? acting all innocent when we both know how badly you want me. tell me. tell me how much you missed this. tell me how good i feel inside you now.” “so fucking good baby. you’re so fucking big, you feel so good stretching me open like that. oh fuck, just like that baby don’t stop.”

with his hands lifting your hips off the mattress and crashing you into him, all you can hear is the sound of your skin slapping against each other and your stickiness clinging to him. “don’t stop, don’t stop baby i’m close” “give me your hand” and he places it flat against your lower abdomen. “feel that? feel how deep i am inside you? push right there for me” and the slight pressure sends both of you reeling. the tightness in your stomach is about to break. him too. with staggered words, he says “oh shit. babe i’m almost there” “don’t stop. don’t fucking stop” his strokes get quicker and harder and you snap “fuck i’m coming!” “babe i’m about to let go.” “yeah baby let go. use me just like that baby. just like that jae, you feel so good baby.” and you squeeze onto him again. he falls to hover over you and you feel his release coat your insides. he crashes his hips into you three more times, grunting profanities into the daylight as you roll your hips up to meet his. you both watch as he falls out of you, covered in both his and your cream. “that’s so fucking hot” he says, using his tip to drag the wetness over your swollen, sensitive cIit. your hips jump at the touch and your brow furrows, which he notices. “hey.” your eyes meet his and he leans down to kiss your forehead.

the clearest one is the last time he had you. his body caging yours in, his chest pressed to yours, that warmth and weight pinning you perfectly under him.

tonight you’re sprawled on the same sheets, staring at his side of the bed he used to fight with you for, wearing nothing but your silk pajama dress, fingers trailing over your stomach before sinking between your legs, already wet just from remembering how he looked above you, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, eyes locked on yours and dark like he couldn’t get enough.

you spread your legs the way he likes, knees bent and feet planted on the bed, pretending it’s him between them, the stretch of his cock filling you in one deep push, your free hand grabs at the pillow beside your head like you would grab at his shoulders.

but then something stops you, and your phone rings just in time from the night stand, mark who wants to watch that stupid new movie with you. as you roll eyes making your way to the cinema.

you’ve been counting down to this day for weeks — his short visit, just a few hours outside before he has to go back — and the moment you see him walking toward you in his uniform, cap low over his eyes, you feel your chest tighten, the smile on his face is as soft as you remember, baby the hug you share is too long for public, his arms locked tight around you, the weight of his body pressing you into him, and when he pulls back to kiss you, it’s as romantic as his usual

but the drive to the apartment is silent except for his hand resting high on your thigh, thumb rubbing slow circles, his eyes flicking to you every few seconds like he can’t decide whether to pull over and take you right there.

as soon as the door closes behind you he’s on you, pushing you against it, mouth hot and rough on yours, his hands already tugging your clothes away, muttering can’t waste a single second between kisses.

he doesn’t bother with slow — your back hits the mattress and he’s stripping fast, the uniform pooling on the floor, he climbs over you, kissing you deep as he pushes inside in one long thrust that has your nails digging into his shoulders, the stretch sharp but perfect after more than a month without him, he groans low, forehead pressed to yours, his hips start moving immediately, hard and deep, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the big room.

fuck, i missed this his voice is raw, each word punctuated by another thrust that has your breath hitching. his pace never falters, like every second is worth a month apart, your hands cling to him, the friction unbearable in the best way.

your body tensing as you cum around him, your walls clenching hard enough to make him groan your name against your ear, his thrusts turning erratic before he buries himself deep, spilling inside you in hot, heavy pulses, his hips grinding to push it deeper, his breath ragged, his hand cupping your cheek as he kisses you gonna think about this every night until i’m back for good.

he slips into bed beside you, pulling you against his chest, the warmth of his skin grounding you, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back.

im sorry and he smiles softly, his lips press against your temple, lingering there, you can hear his heartbeat under your ear, steady and strong, his thumb stroking your arm until your breathing matches his, and for a moment, the months apart feel like they never happened. i just had this vision with you since the wedding day, that dress was pretty as hell, too bad the hours went faster. as he kisses you over and over, trying not to forget the taste of your lips.

i'll make love to you next time, i promise sweetheart

You guys do plenty of couple like things. He has his dim moments, but he’s not stupid. Jaehyun knows how to treat a girl, especially one that’s as great as you. You guys go on dates, plenty of them. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, coffee, and your late night sweet tooth runs.

He swears he doesn’t even miss actual sex. You guys have made out with hands sneaking past waistbands more times than he can count. He’s dry humped with you more times than he ever did in high school and learned that it’s hot, even with the mess in his boxers at the end of it.

Sex, isn’t something he ever pressures you into, more anything he would pressure you into. He’s being completely honest when he says what you guys do already is more than enough to keep him satisfied. He only remembers actual intercourse when he sorts through his messy bedside drawer and happens upon a foil square. He digs some more and finds a whole collection of them.

You’re sitting at his desk, using his laptop to do your homework since yours died, writing your notes and humming along to your music that plays softly from his speakers. You had told him to find something to keep himself busy while you took 20 minutes to complete your notes. Thus, him cleaning his junk drawer.

20 minutes pass before he can get through his mess. He only notices when you flop yourself into your front and ask a curious, “find anything good?”

“Old snacks, crumbled receipts, four bouncy balls,” he lists off before lifting his eyes to meet yours, “and five condoms.”

You lift yourself onto your forearms and try to keep your face neutral but he’s spent enough time around you to notice the surprise in your eyes and the soft purse of your lips, “that’s quite a collection.”

“Quite,” Jaehyun nods, shoving down the pile in his waste basket for more room before putting everything, but one thing back in his drawer.

He sits on the bed beside you, watching as you roll onto your back. He can’t help how his eyes track the shift of your oversized t-shirt and the sliver of newly exposed skin.

You pick up the metallic foil square, not meeting his eyes as you observe it, “is this your most prized piece of your collection?”

He blinks, meeting your gaze as he nods, “yeah, so much so that I wanted to share it. With you… if you wanted to.”

You break eye contact, rolling your lips as your heart beats rapidly in your chest. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t beat it or feel its rhythm through the mattress. “You don’t want to share with anyone else?” You ask softly, trying to keep it light though the weight of your question is heavy.

Sex will change the dynamic of your relationship. It’s intimate and personal. It’s something that’s entirely vulnerable, not only sharing the most private parts of your self but showing your partner that there is a deep level of trust there.

At least, with you there would be that level of trust there, a deeper connection than Jaehyun has ever felt with anyone else.

Your question isn’t meant to pick at his past. He knows because there’s a softness in your eyes, a glimpse of anxiety that is carried with your question. He knows better than anyone that his reputation precedes him and he can’t change that. His reputation as a ladies man, being able to get any girl he wanted, having a sexual history more extensive than some grown adults is something that used to bring him pride.

You’ve changed him. Now he likes the softness and the intimacy of a single partner. He likes spending time around you, taking the time to learn more about you which in turn, makes him learn more about himself. Jaehyun from the first semester of university would never believe that he would ever go more than a few weeks without having use for a condom. Jaehyun now, knows that the time is right.

“Just with you, Sweetheart. What do you think?” He asks you, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. Soft and reassuring, no pressure. He'd be just as happy to move onto cleaning out his closet right now as he would to have sex.

He can hear your shaky inhale, the way you draw your inner lip between your teeth and bat your lashes while you think. Your question comes out as a quiet whisper, but to Jaehyun it might as well have been a scream: “who’s home right now?”

In truth, the guys are everywhere. Some are at practice, some are at tutoring sessions, classes, or work. In essence, you and Jaehyun are home alone. It’s not common, but it seems the universe is on his side. Thank goodness for that, who knows how many times he's heard the guys going at it with different people... or even by themselves. Luckily, neither of you will have that problem.

His lips softly press against the side of your neck, kissing his way up the soft skin until his lips are right beside your ear, “it’s just us right now.”

The confirmation that you're home alone seems to be your catalyst. You set the condom aside before cupping Jaehyun’s face and drawing him in for a kiss. Neither of you are strangers to a good make out session. In the course of being with you, Jaehyun has learned that he quite enjoys the pleasant numbness in his lips after kissing you for uninterrupted hours on end. Every kiss with you is a good kiss, but this is different. This kiss holds the weight of heated tension and bubbling excitement.

One of his hands is pressed into the mattress to right of your head, holding his body above yours while his other hand cups your jaw. His thumb swipes at the curve of your chin in perfect rhythm with the way his tongue swipes into your mouth. It draws soft sounds from your throat in a way that has him feeling on top of the world.

He nips your bottom lip teasingly. Once, then twice, drawing your lip between his teeth with a soft stinging sensation just to watch it pop back into place. “You can tell me to stop at any time. Don’t feel like you have to do this for me, Sweet girl,” he tells you in a low, gruff voice.

The sound, the intention of his words, him being himself draws a moan straight from your core, “you can’t possibly be this sexy.”

He chuckles deeply, feeling your legs wind around hips before you roll him into his back. Your knees press into his comforter on either side of his waist while your hands find the hem of his shirt and begin to tug it up. Your darkened gaze meets his own as he sits up, allowing you to pull his shirt from his body. With your faces inches apart, your hands once again find his face, “I want this. I want you.”

He bites back a groan, closing the gap between you two with another kiss. This one is messy, a clash of teeth and a battle of tongues. His body feels like it’s on fire. He feels like thinking is the last thing he wants to do right now. Instinct seems to be working perfectly and he wants this to be perfect for you.

You break the kiss to tug off your t-shirt and Jaehyun swears you’re one of the prettiest sights he’s ever seen. Messy hair, swollen lips, and a simple bra. It’s clear that you weren’t expecting this to happen, it’s not lingerie like he used to see in his mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog, but somehow it’s better. It’s better because this feels authentic and it’s you.

He guides your hips in a slow but steady rock against his hardening bulge, hissing softly as the friction builds. Your hands find his shoulders, focusing on keeping yourself grounded. It works for just a second until you feel his mouth on your chest. He kisses across the swell of each breast before working his way up your chest, back to your neck.

His breath is hot just below the spot that turns you into mush, “you feel so good, Sweetheart.”

You can only nod, your words melting on your tongue with a keen as he sinks his teeth into that sensitive spot on your neck. Your nails dig into his shoulders while you roll your hips against his, feeling yourself growing wetter by the second. Jaehyun grunts softly, catching every hitch of your breath and feeling every stuttered grind against his dick as you chase your pleasure.

You bring yourself to the brink of ecstasy, gasps leaving your lips, hips bucking uncoordinatedly as you ride him harder, filthy and desperate. You’re nearly there, seconds away from orgasm when Jaehyun stills your hips with strong and firm hands that effectively stop every movement of your hips.

“I was about to come! What was that for?” You ask in a breathy whine that has Jaehyun growing harder in his boxers.

“You’re soaking through your shorts and I’m going crazy feeling how wet you are. I’m not blowing my load into my boxers when I can blow my load while I’m inside you,” he explains in a strained voice. He was strained, he was on the brink of madness, because forcing you to stop physically pained him. In a way, it did. What kind of guy would stop the world's most attractive woman from using his body for pleasure? Just Jaehyun who was seconds away from painting the inside of his boxers with his spend earlier than he'd have wanted to.

Your cheeks heat at that, momentarily distracted by his admission. In that brief moment of distraction, Jaehyun rolls you onto your back, tugging off his basketball shorts. Your shorts come off next with a soft pat to your thigh so you know to raise your hips.

Jaehyun doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way. Excited, sure. Turned on, obviously. But he’s also a little nervous. Nervous because this is his first time having sex in years with feelings involved. He has confidence in himself that he knows that he’s doing. He’s had his fingers buried inside you, your slick dripping down his wrist more than enough times to know that he knows your body. This is something more than that though.

His fingers hook into either side of your cotton panties, pulling them down your legs to reveal your slick sex. Jaehyun doesn’t even try to hold back a groan at the sight. In fact, his head falls onto your shoulder with his eyes locked on your core. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he grunts out.

You want to feel embarrassed. Your partner is staring directly at the most intimate part of your body so brazenly, but you don’t. His words fill you with a sense of confidence that no one has ever made you feel before. Jaehyun makes you feel sexy and self-assured.

“Let me get a look at you now,” you hum, kissing his temple as you pull his boxers down. He kicks the cotton aside, reaching out blindly for the discarded condom.

All the while you can’t tear your eyes away from his dick. You’ve seen it plenty of times. You’ve held it, you’ve touched it, you’ve even tasted it a few times, but it’s never been like this. It’s never hit you just how long and thick he is or how there was always the possibility that it might someday go inside you and possibly wreck you...

He tears apart the foil package with his teeth and rolls the latex down his length with a low hum. He spreads your thighs apart. It’s hard to ignore just how perfectly you think his body fits against yours and he’s not even inside you yet. You’re so fucked.

He leans in, one hand cupping your jaw while the other slides it’s way down your abdomen and straight to your dripping folds. You gasp against his lips, letting him swallow your sounds as he swipes his grinders through your dampness, teasingly catching your clit in the process.

“You’re so wet,” he breathes against your lips. The smile on his face told you that he knew exactly what he was doing. It stretched across his lips slowly and knowingly and for once, you were grateful for all his experience. Damn this bastard Jung Jaehyun and his salacious ways!

You keen softly, your hips jolting with every 'accidental' brush against your clit, "Jae, you're teasing me!"

"Just making sure you're ready for me, Sweetheart. Are you?"

You can only nod, as his lips tease up your abdomen, right over your chest, and find your lips once more. The passionate kiss is only interrupted when your lips stop moving against his, a sigh leaving your lips as you feel the weight of him sliding through your folds, coating himself in your wetness.

You don't even get a second to complain or beg for him to do something before he's pushing into your warmth. Your face scrunches up in shocked pleasure, one of your hands grips his bicep tightly as a broken gasp rips itself from your lungs. He's not even fully seated inside you and you already feel your walls fluttering and pulsing to accommodate Jaehyun's generous thickness.

He bites back a groan, his forehead falls onto your shoulder as he stops himself from fully impaling you with his length. Fuck, you feel so good, so warm, and so tight. It takes all his willpower to stop himself so you can adjust to the stretch. "You gotta stop doing that, Sweetheart," Jaehyun breathes out, clenching his eyes shut to focus on not finishing before he's even thrusted inside you a single time.

"I can't!" You moan, writhing helplessly beneath him as your hips buck.

He can hardly control himself as you whine and squirm beneath him. He growls, full-on growls as he throws all caution to the wind, thrusting into you until he bottoms out inside you.

He doesn't stop. He doesn't think he can, not with the way you feel around him or the sounds he's drawing from your body. His hands grip your hips tightly, preventing you from escaping from the onslaught of pleasure only he can give you.

It's filthy the way he can't decide where to look. His eyes keep darting from he way your face has crumpled in ecstasy and the obscene sight of himself disappearing into your tight heat. He decides that the sight of himself disappearing into you is too much, it makes him feel like he's two pumps away from coming right then and there. He tilts his head back, anchoring his knees on his mattress as he fucks into you at an unforgiving pace.

Your hands find his muscled back, nails sinking into his shoulder blades to find some sense of security with the way Jaehyun is completely wrecking you. You can feel his every vein, every ridge, every brush against your cervix, and every drag against your g-spot with every drag of his length inside your warmth. It makes your eyes roll back with euphoria and clench around him like your body wants to keep him lodged inside you.

You don't even recognize your own voice as you warble out a pathetic, "Jaehyun!"

His bed frame creaks with every thrust of his hips. He's not slowing down, not in the slightest. In fact, it seems as if his name from your lips has made him go completely mad. He's not holding back any longer. His hips snap against yours brutally as he grunts, bottoming out with every drive of his hips.

The knot in your stomach has long since formed. Now the strings are starting to unravel and pull themselves tighter and tighter as your pleasure reaches a new peak. "I'm gonna cum!" You cry out, heart pounding in your chest as you try not to succumb to your climax just yet.

"Fuck! You gotta come first, Sweetheart. I'm losing my mind right now. You're wrecked, Sweets, so fucking pretty and ruined while I'm inside you. Fuck," he hisses, abandoning his grip on your hip in favor of circling your clit in harsh, calculated circles.

You mewl wantonly, the sound dying on your tongue as the knot finally snaps. The force of your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, all consuming, raw, and mind-melting. You tense, body going rigid for just a second before you completely melt and submit to your ecstasy with a chorus of moans and whines.

Jaehyun chokes, his once relentless thrusts faltering with how tightly you grip him, "shit, Sweets. That's it, that's fucking it!"

All you can do is lay there and let him take you, let him use you since you're riding cloud nine and too fucked out to even think of anything but the way he's making you feel. Your body is still sucking him in, contracting around every hard inch of him as he chases his own orgasm.

You can feel him twitching inside you, the same feeling that tells you he's closer than he's letting on. "Give it to me, Jae," you rasp out. Your words are enough to send him over the edge. He bucks his hips forward once more, hilting himself inside you as he releases into the condom with a broken groan. His hips buck a few more times, drawing out his pleasure as he commits to giving you every last drop of him he has left.

He slows to a stop, chest heaving for a full breath. His body is slick with sweat and tingling with the after effects of the best and most intense orgasm he's ever had. He means it! This was even better than his first orgasm ever!

With great reluctance, Jaehyun slips out of you with a hiss and throws the condom into the same waste basket that holds his old collection of stale snacks. He falls onto his back right beside you. Your shared labored breathing echoes around his room in the few minutes of comfortable quiet that blanket his room.

You flinch when you feel him again, getting used to the full function of your brain returning to your body slowly. It's just his hand covering your own, intertwining your fingers before he lifts your hand to your hand to his lips. "Are you okay?" He asks you in a soft murmur, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

You pull your clasped hands toward yourself, pressing your own kiss to the back of Jaehyun's hand, "I feel great. You?"

Jaehyun chuckles happily, rolling onto his stomach. He throws an arm across your waist and presses a loving kiss to your shoulder. Despite the heaviness that has settled into your bones, you force yourself return his affection as you cuddle closer to him. He smiles at you and brushes a strand of hair from your face, "I feel great. A little tired though."

"Same," you nod, "wanna nap together?"

"Do I have to put my boxers back on?" He asks as he maneuvers his sheets over the both of you.

You laugh and reach for the cotton on the floor beside your side of the bed. "Boxers would be a good idea, you only have four condoms left and I need a nap after you fucked my brain to mush," you tell him as you hand him his underwear.

He yawns as he drops his newly boxer-covered hips to his mattress as he pulls you back into his side, "I'll buy us a whole new box. We're going to need more than four, trust me."

"Just shut your mouth and go to sleep," you tell him as you duck your head into his chest and shut your eyes.

"I had a good time, Sweetheart. A really good time," Jaehyun tells you as he rubs softly at your bare shoulder.

You tiredly reach for his free hand, intertwining your fingers before resting them on his chest where you all too sweetly plant a kiss on his bare chest. His heart skips a beat, skipping one more beat at your tired response, "I had the best time. Thank you, Baby."

Jaehyun chuckled, deep and unbothered. “I’ve only ever taken what’s freely offered. If they wish to gamble their reputations, I simply play the part expected of me.”

Y/N stiffened. Expected of me, he’d said. As if it were a performance. As if women were nothing but bored creatures desperate for his attention.

A scoff escaped before she could contain it. Sharp, unmistakable. She turned on her heel, skirts snapping, heels clicking in rapid retreat across the gravel path. She didn't hear the footsteps behind her.

“Not a fan of the truth, Lady…?”

She cursed under her breath. He’d heard her.

“I wasn’t aware that hypocrisy counted as truth,” she replied without turning.

“Ah, so you were listening.”

She stopped. Slowly turned. He stood a few paces behind, one brow raised, arms folded leisurely across his broad chest. Even lounging, the Duke of Aelridge looked like he was used to being obeyed.

“I wasn’t listening. I was cringing,” Y/N said. “It’s astounding how men can twist self-congratulation into philosophy.”

His smile was all bite. “Would you rather I pretend otherwise? That these parties aren’t a performance? That everyone here doesn’t play their part—yourself included?”

“At least I don’t speak as though I’m above it.”

“But you act like you are.”

Her eyes flashed. “Perhaps I simply hold myself to a standard you clearly lack.”

For a moment, they just stared—neither yielding, both assessing.

Then she swept past him.

Jaehyun watched her go, the irritation simmering just beneath his smooth exterior. So she thought herself untouchable? Morally superior?

Interesting.

He had no idea who she was, but later that afternoon, as he observed her walking arm in arm with the ever-charming Lady Amelia Hargrave, the dots began to connect.

Amelia—the darling of the ton. Gentle, sweet, and completely unaware of her friend’s sharp tongue and barbed opinions.

A small, amused smirk played at Jaehyun’s lips.

If Lady Y/N thought him so awful, so predictably rakish—well, perhaps he’d give her a reason to think so. After all, what better way to irritate a proud woman than by charming the dearest thing to her?

And Amelia Hargrave looked perfectly delightful.

------------

“I cannot believe it,” Amelia whispered, clutching Y/N’s arm as they strolled through the rose gardens of the Hargrave estate. “The Duke of Aelridge has called on me twice this week. Twice.”

Y/N arched a brow. “And the world still turns?”

“Y/N.” Amelia playfully swatted her arm. “You’re being impossible. You know what it means when a duke calls on a lady twice in the same week. Mother nearly fainted.”

“He’s a rake, Amelia.”

Amelia laughed, waving her hand. “You say that like it’s a confirmed diagnosis.”

“It is,” Y/N said flatly. “I overheard him bragging about his conquests not three days ago. He spoke of women as if they were games to be played, reputations to be wagered.”

“Oh, but you don’t like him, do you?” Amelia grinned. “You’re always so terribly fair, but the moment someone rubs you the wrong way, they might as well be declared villain of the realm.”

Y/N stiffened, then forced a smile. “I just don’t want you hurt.”

Amelia squeezed her hand. “He’s different with me. Gentle. Thoughtful.”

That was precisely the problem.

So Y/N made it her mission to supervise their every interaction, whether invited or not.

She “accidentally” appeared at tea the next morning, sliding into the seat beside Amelia just as the Duke arrived with his signature smirk and a bouquet of pale blue hyacinths.

“Lady Y/N,” he drawled. “How...surprising.”

Y/N offered her most innocent smile. “Isn’t it just?”

He said nothing, though his eyes lingered a fraction too long, jaw tight.

At the opera, when Amelia and Jaehyun shared a box, Y/N insisted on accompanying them, claiming Amelia’s mother had asked her to. She spent the entire first act loudly offering commentary on the soprano’s pitch, just to drown out their whispered conversation.

When Jaehyun tried to escort Amelia to her carriage, Y/N intercepted them with a feigned concern over a “lost glove.” When he reached for it, she let it fall again.

“Oh dear,” she murmured, eyes wide with mock dismay. “So clumsy of me.”

He bent to retrieve it with a barely contained sigh.

“You do know what you’re doing,” he muttered under his breath as he handed it back.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked sweetly, eyes wide.

He said nothing, only glared, then turned back to Amelia with a forced smile.

But by the third event—a garden luncheon at the Granthams—he broke.

Y/N was leaning against a tree, nibbling on a biscuit, her gaze flickering toward the pair seated across the lawn. Amelia looked radiant in lilac silk, head tilted toward Jaehyun, who was clearly trying to focus. But his eyes kept drifting. To the edge of the clearing. To her.

She caught his eye. Raised her biscuit in mock salute. Smiled.

And he rose.

“Excuse me, Lady Amelia. There’s something I must attend to.”

He stalked toward Y/N, who arched a brow without moving.

“Have you nothing better to do, Lady Y/N?” he asked, low and sharp.

“Than what?” she asked. “Enjoy a biscuit? Observe the flora? Ensure the safety of a friend?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And yet here you are. Again.”

He stepped closer. She didn’t move.

“What do you want from me?” he asked, voice low.

“Nothing,” she replied, too smoothly. “But I do wonder… is it difficult, pretending to court someone just to annoy me?”

His eyes narrowed. “So you admit it’s worked.”

She took a slow bite of her biscuit. “Oh, Your Grace. I never said that.”

And then she walked away, hips swaying ever so slightly, leaving the Duke of Aelridge standing beneath the trees, utterly unamused and—far more troubling—utterly intrigued.

---------

“It’s terribly kind of him, don’t you think?” Amelia beamed, folding the invitation with careful fingers. “He’s invited us both to his country estate. The Duke! I never imagined I’d see Aelridge Manor, let alone be personally welcomed there.”

Y/N hummed, her smile pleasant and entirely false. “Yes. How generous of him.”

She didn’t need to read the cream-colored parchment to know exactly what it said. The Duke was being clever—throwing open the gates of his secluded estate, inviting his would-be courtship and her ever-watchful chaperone in one move. A perfect opportunity to display his supposed charm and moral reform.

He wants my approval, she realized. As if that’s something easily earned.

Still, refusing would only make her look more suspicious, and Amelia—sweet, trusting Amelia—was already flushed with hope. So, with a tight smile and a measured nod, Y/N agreed to the trip, tucking the invitation into her reticule like a warning bell.

Aelridge Manor was, of course, beautiful.

Golden light filtered through high windows. Ivy crept across stone walls in elegant twists. The surrounding countryside seemed plucked from an oil painting: fields that rolled into the distance, a lake that glittered like glass, horses that galloped with untamed grace.

And the Duke of Aelridge stood in the doorway, smiling like a man thoroughly pleased with himself.

“Ladies,” he said warmly. “Welcome. I hope the journey wasn’t too difficult?”

“Not at all,” Amelia said with a curtsy. “It’s breathtaking here, Your Grace.”

Y/N curtsied after her, meeting his eyes evenly. “Charming, truly. Like a stage set. I’m curious to see the performance.”

Jaehyun’s smile didn’t falter, but something in his jaw ticked.

Over the next few days, he was everything a mother would dream of for her daughter.

He rode beside Amelia during morning gallops, handed her down from carriages with a steady hand, laughed at her cleverest comments and listened with devoted attention to the most mundane observations. He took them on nature walks, invited them to private music recitals, arranged picnics on the lawn where the servants appeared just as the sunlight turned golden.

And Amelia, to Y/N’s increasing unease, was beginning to melt.

“He’s not what I expected,” she confided one evening, cheeks warm. “He’s thoughtful. And quiet when he thinks no one’s listening. There’s more to him, I think.”

Y/N tried not to bristle. “Yes, well. He’s a man accustomed to managing his image.”

Amelia looked at her. “Why do you dislike him so much?”

Y/N faltered. “I don’t dislike him. I simply...don’t trust him.”

“You think he’s pretending?”

Y/N hesitated. “I think men like him only reveal their sincerity when they believe no one’s watching.”

Unfortunately, Jaehyun had taken that as a challenge.

She began catching him alone more often—waiting at stairwells, lingering by the garden path.

“Enjoying yourself, Lady Y/N?” he asked one morning as they crossed paths in the orchard. He held a single plum in his hand, turning it slowly between his fingers.

She tilted her head. “Do you ever tire of pretending to be perfect?”

He chuckled, tossing the fruit up and catching it. “I’m not pretending. I’m trying. There’s a difference.”

“Trying to convince me or her?”

His expression sobered slightly. “Both.”

She blinked.

“I meant what I said,” he continued. “About wanting your approval. I realize I may not deserve it—but I’m not playing a game with Amelia. I don’t have a game to win anymore.”

Y/N didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Because for a moment—just a moment—he looked sincere.

And that terrified her more than any rake’s smirk ever could.

-----------

The manor was silent.

Outside, the wind whispered through the hedges, but within Aelridge’s grand halls, not a sound stirred. The moonlight spilled in pale strips through the tall windows as Lady Y/N padded barefoot through the kitchen, her silk nightdress trailing just above the cool tile. She clutched her shawl around her loosely, careful not to wake the maids.

She hadn’t meant to wander, but sleep had evaded her for hours—her mind a whirl of half-formed worries and something else she didn’t care to name. The cool air offered some relief, though she still felt vaguely flushed.

She found a jug of water and began searching the darkened cupboards for a glass.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

She froze.

The voice came from the doorway, deep and smooth and unmistakably male.

The Duke.

He stood in the threshold, backlit by moonlight, the crisp lines of his shirt unbuttoned at the top, revealing a sliver of chest. His sleeves were rolled to the elbow, forearms crossed loosely. He looked... softer somehow. Less polished. Less performed.

“Apparently neither could you,” Y/N replied, straightening.

His eyes dragged over her, lingering—just for a second—on the delicate silk of her dress, the way it clung to her curves, her arms bare in the dim light, the hollow of her collarbone catching the moon.

“I didn’t expect company,” he said with a slight smirk, walking toward her.

“I didn’t want to wake the staff,” she murmured, moving aside.

Without speaking, he reached around her, their arms brushing as his chest pressed ever-so-slightly against her back. He pulled down a crystal glass from the shelf with casual ease.

The contact was brief, but it seared.

She could feel the warmth of his body even after he stepped away to fill the glass at the basin. He handed it to her, their fingers not quite touching.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

They stood side by side, the silence stretching. She sipped, not looking at him.

“Are you uncomfortable here?” he asked, voice lower now. “You haven’t looked like yourself.”

She shook her head. “I’m fine. Just thirsty.”

He gave a small nod, but he didn’t move away. Neither did she.

A pause.

Then Y/N turned slightly, her voice quiet but firm. “What are your intentions with Amelia?”

That caught him.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he turned and leaned back slightly against the edge of the counter, hands braced on either side, exhaling through his nose.

“I’m getting older,” he said finally. “Eventually, even a man like me must think of family. Stability.”

Y/N stared at him. “So you chose Amelia because she’s… convenient?”

“No,” he said, sharply. “Because she’s kind. Loved by society. Graceful. A good match.”

“Do you like her?”

“I respect her,” he said carefully.

Y/N frowned. “That wasn’t the question.”

His eyes met hers then, and the air between them shifted.

“No,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t... feel for her the way she might feel for me. But I could learn to. She deserves someone who can give her peace.”

“And you think that’s you?” she asked, her voice softer now, a tremor of something else beneath it.

“I thought it might be,” he said. “Until you started looking at me like that.”

Her breath caught.

“Like what?”

“Like you already know I’m lying.”

They were far too close now. Her hand still held the half-empty glass, but her gaze was locked on his, the weight of his words crackling between them.

She didn’t deny it.

Because she did know.

And suddenly, the kitchen didn’t feel so cold anymore.

--------------

They didn’t touch.

They didn’t speak further.

After a long, simmering silence, Jaehyun finally straightened and nodded once. “Goodnight, Lady Y/N.”

Her name sounded different in the dark. Warmer. Unpolished.

“Goodnight, Your Grace,” she murmured.

And then they went their separate ways—he toward the east wing, she to the west—each haunted by the same question neither dared ask aloud.

Morning came far too brightly.

Y/N sat with Amelia beneath the pergola, sunlight filtering through the climbing vines above. The scent of early summer hung in the air—peonies and warm bread and something almost sickeningly sweet.

Amelia stirred her tea, humming softly. “He’s joining us for a ride this afternoon. He said I could take Bramble—the chestnut mare he brought back from Italy.”

Y/N blinked. “He’s letting you ride Bramble?”

Amelia grinned. “He said I had a good seat.”

Y/N nearly choked on her tea.

“I mean on a horse, obviously,” Amelia said quickly, cheeks flushing.

Y/N set her cup down with care, then folded her hands in her lap.

“Do you… really like him?”

Amelia blinked. “Of course I do.”

“No, I mean… truly. As a person. Not just as the Duke of Aelridge.”

Amelia’s smile faltered.

Y/N kept her voice light but steady. “You’ve known him for two weeks, Amelia. Do you actually know him?”

Amelia sighed. “You think I’m being foolish.”

“I think you’re being charmed. Which isn’t the same.”

“I’m not chasing a title, Y/N,” Amelia said quietly. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“But you said it would be a dream—to be a duchess.”

“It would,” Amelia admitted. “Not for the gowns or the balls, but for the life it offers. Security. Freedom, in a way. Choice.”

Y/N softened, but only slightly.

“And Jaehyun? Does he make you feel something real? Something personal?”

Amelia hesitated. “He listens. He’s gentle. Thoughtful.”

Y/N thought of last night—the quiet in the kitchen, his voice when he said, I don’t feel for her the way she might feel for me.

“He respects you,” Y/N said slowly. “But that’s not the same as wanting you.”

Amelia blinked at her. “Are you saying he doesn’t?”

“I’m saying… just be sure. Before you lose your heart to a man who doesn’t know how to give his.”

They sat in silence for a moment, birdsong echoing in the trees.

“I didn’t think you cared for him at all,” Amelia said softly. “But you sound like you understand him better than anyone.”

Y/N looked away, heart beating a little too fast. “Understanding someone doesn’t mean you trust them.”

----------

The morning was soft with warmth, a gentle breeze stirring the leaves as the horses’ hooves crunched down the path toward the pond. Y/N rode with ease, back straight, curls loose beneath her bonnet, the basket of stale bread nestled in her lap. Amelia hummed beside her, cheeks pink with the glow of summer.

Jaehyun, riding just behind, was trying very hard not to stare.

But every time Y/N shifted slightly in the saddle, the silk of her riding habit pulling tight across her bodice, the gentle bounce of her body moving with the horse—

He cleared his throat. Hard.

It was shameful, really. He’d invited them here to prove himself a reformed man. To show he was no longer a rake consumed by fleeting pleasures.

And yet the sight of her, graceful and unbothered, hips rocking with every stride—he could barely think straight, just picturing her on his lap doing the same movements. His clothes felt too tight. His jaw clenched.

It’s not just desire, he told himself. It’s her. All of her. That maddening mouth and those eyes that see straight through me.

As they approached the pond, sunlight glittering off the water and ducks quacking greedily along the banks, Amelia suddenly slowed her horse.

“I feel faint,” she said softly. “I think I rode too fast earlier.”

Y/N was instantly concerned. “Do you want to rest? We can turn back.”

“No, no,” Amelia waved a hand. “Truly, it’s nothing. You’ve the bread—go on. Feed the ducks. I’ll wait in the shade just here.”

She guided her horse to a willow tree nearby, already reaching for her water flask.

Y/N hesitated, but Jaehyun was already dismounting.

He moved to her horse and looked up, hand outstretched. “May I?”

Y/N paused and then nodded, letting him lift her.

Their hands met, his palm warm and strong around hers, her waist held steady as she slid down. Her body brushed his chest just briefly. Neither spoke. When she landed, neither let go—not immediately.

Then, as if remembering themselves, they both dropped their hands at once.

Wordlessly, they walked to the pond, tearing bits of bread and tossing them into the water. The ducks surged forward with flapping wings and greedy beaks.

Y/N tossed a piece, smiling faintly. “They’re relentless.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Like some people I know.”

She glanced sideways. “I thought you were trying not to be relentless.”

“I am,” he said, tone softer now. “Believe me.”

They stood for a moment in comfortable silence, the kind that felt strange between them. The water rippled gently, the ducks squabbling, but neither spoke—until Jaehyun did.

“I’ve spent years chasing… pleasure. Distraction. Anything to keep from feeling too much.”

Y/N turned to him.

He kept his gaze on the water. “But it never lasts. And it never fills the quiet. My parents loved each other so much and even that ended in tragedy. I wanted to avoid love and commitment for as long as I could remember to avoid that potential pain.”

She didn’t interrupt.

“But I want something more now. Something better. I want to set a good example for my sisters. They deserve to see what a real partnership looks like, the same way I did.” He finally looked at her. “Not scandal and bitterness. But respect. Warmth. A home.”

Y/N studied him, her brow furrowed. There was no smirk. No arrogance. Just quiet, steady honesty.

“You lost your parents young,” she said gently.

He nodded. “I was seventeen. They died within a year of each other. It turned everything upside down. My sisters needed comfort and I…” he shook his head. “I didn’t know how to be anyone’s safe place.”

Y/N’s chest tightened.

“And now?” she asked.

He looked at her, eyes searching.

“Now I want to be someone they can trust. Someone she can trust,” he added softly.

She didn’t ask who she was. She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

But for the first time since their unfortunate meeting beneath the wisteria, she saw something in him that couldn’t be faked.

A man who wanted to be better.

Not for pride. Not for power. But for the people he loved.

She dropped another piece of bread into the water. “You should tell Amelia that.”

“I will,” he said.

But his eyes stayed on Y/N just a little too long.

-----------

It started innocently—her laugh, somewhere in the back of his mind. The way she’d looked yesterday in the sun, cheeks warm, neck glistening with a single droplet of sweat he’d wanted to trace with his tongue.

Then it shifted.

Y/N was on top of him, riding him slow and deep in the moonlight. Her silk dress was bunched at her waist, breasts bouncing freely in front of him, hair wild around her flushed face as she gasped his name.

His hands gripped her hips, fingertips digging in, his head thrown back as her slick heat squeezed around him. She leaned down, mouth brushing his ear.

“Do I still look like I’m judging you now, Your Grace?”

He groaned in his sleep.

His hips bucked into nothing.

He woke with a jolt, sheets tangled, chest heaving.

Sweat dampened his collarbone, and his cock was painfully hard beneath the thin linen of his sleepwear. He swore, dragging a hand over his face.

This is madness.

He couldn’t keep doing this. Dreaming of her. Of Y/N. Not when Amelia was so close, not when he was so close to doing the right thing.

He needed to move forward. Fast.

So that morning, Jaehyun summoned a carriage. He had the perfect plan: introduce Amelia to his younger sisters. The final test. If she was to be his duchess, she would need to love what he loved. And Miri and Yuri were the center of his heart.

The girls arrived by noon—twelve-year-old twins with matching braids, bright grins, and too much energy for any one estate to contain.

He watched with fondness as they tumbled out of the carriage, clutching books, sketch pads, and one lopsided stuffed rabbit that looked like it had survived a war.

“Yuri, Miri,” he greeted, crouching slightly as they ran to him.

“Jae!” they shrieked, throwing their arms around his neck.

Y/N and Amelia emerged from the drawing room, and he turned to them, smiling. “Surprise. I thought today might be… instructive.”

Amelia blinked. “They’re your sisters?”

Y/N, beside her, smiled warmly. “Hello, I’m Y/N.”

“Are you the lady Jae’s going to marry?” Miri asked instantly.

Y/N laughed. “Goodness, I hope not. We’d drive each other mad.”

Jaehyun coughed, not meeting her eyes.

Amelia’s laugh was thin. “Well, I—children can be so... lively.”

“Do you want to read with us?” Yuri asked her, holding up a dog-eared copy of The Secret Garden.

“Oh, I’m not very good with… young books,” Amelia said awkwardly.

Yuri then turned to y/n, "will you read with us?"

Y/N smiled and stepped in smoothly. “I used to read that under my blankets with a candle. Let’s find a shady tree.”

She took the girls by the hand and led them outside, their voices already animated—talking about secret places and garden walls and what sort of flowers a princess would plant.

Jaehyun stood beside Amelia, watching them.

Y/N sat cross-legged in the grass, skirt spread beneath her, unbothered by the sun or her posture, listening with genuine interest as Yuri explained the entire plot of a fantasy book she loved.

Miri tugged at her braid absentmindedly and leaned her head against Y/N’s shoulder, and Y/N didn’t flinch. She wrapped an arm around the girl with ease, as if she’d done it a hundred times before.

Amelia, still standing stiffly, shaded herself beneath the veranda.

“Are they always so… loud?” she asked.

“They’re twelve,” Jaehyun said, keeping his tone neutral.

“They’re sweet,” she added quickly. “I just never had much experience with children, I don't really know how to talk to them.”

He nodded, but his eyes stayed fixed on the scene beyond the glass.

Y/N was laughing at something Miri said, throwing her head back in a way that made his chest ache. Her hands were expressive, her posture relaxed, her interest sincere.

She wasn’t performing.

She was just being.

And the realization hit him like a punch to the gut.

The woman he thought he should want was standing next to him.

But the woman he couldn’t stop dreaming about—the woman who looked so natural in the role he thought Amelia was perfect for—was playing tag with his sisters in the sun.

And he’d never wanted anything more in his life.

------------

Amelia had always been the picture of calm decorum. She knew how to accept compliments with a blush, how to speak without offense, how to exist within the bounds of what society called admirable.

She knew how to be the kind of woman a Duke could marry.

So she had been patient—watchful, even—since the twins arrived.

At first, she thought she was imagining it: the way Jaehyun’s eyes followed Y/N across the lawn as she chased Miri with a bundle of wildflowers in her hands, how his smile pulled wider when Y/N’s voice entered a room, louder and unfiltered. He never smiled like that with her. Not even once.

Then she began to notice subtler things.

How Jaehyun’s throat bobbed slightly whenever Y/N got too close, how his fingers flexed at his sides when Y/N tossed a teasing comment his way. How he never interrupted her when they argued—in fact, he seemed to like it. Almost like he craved that friction, needed the bite of her words to stay engaged.

When Amelia spoke, he listened politely, nodded, sometimes even complimented her.

But he never reacted to her.

Not like that.

Not the way he looked at Y/N as if she were something untameable and beautiful, something dangerous and necessary all at once.

And then came the evening.

The sun was setting low, brushing gold across the countryside. They were walking together—Amelia on Jaehyun’s left, Y/N on his right. The twins had been sent inside for bath time, the air warm and pleasant, filled with the scent of honeysuckle and fresh grass.

Amelia had just turned to ask a question when she heard it—the thunder of hooves.

A horse. Untethered. Racing toward them down the path, eyes wild, panic in its gait.

There wasn’t time to scream. Barely time to think.

Jaehyun moved instantly.

One arm wrapped around Amelia’s waist, yanking her backward. The other slammed into Y/N’s side, dragging her down with him, twisting his body so that he landed hard in the dirt—not her.

Then he rolled them over and shielded her completely. His hand cupped the back of her head, the other braced near her hip, keeping her pinned beneath him but unhurt.

Dust swirled around them, the horse galloping past with a furious cry before disappearing into the trees.

Silence.

Then: heavy breathing.

Y/N’s chest heaved beneath him, her eyes wide, her fingers tangled in the folds of his shirt where she must’ve grabbed him on instinct.

Their faces were close. Too close.

His breath fanned over her lips, his gaze flickering from her mouth to her eyes and back again. She didn’t move.

Neither did he.

The world slowed.

And then—

Jaehyun cleared his throat roughly and pushed up off her.

“S-sorry,” he muttered, offering a hand.

She took it, her cheeks flushed.

He helped her up, then turned to Amelia, who was brushing herself off more shakily.

“Are you both alright? We got lucky the wild thing didn't trample us” he asked, voice low and tight.

Amelia nodded, but her heart wasn’t in her chest anymore—it was somewhere far away, aching, already grieving.

The walk back to the manor was quiet.

Y/N glanced at Jaehyun once. He didn’t meet her eyes.

Amelia didn’t speak until they reached the terrace steps.

“Your Grace,” she said softly, “May I speak with you?”

He turned to her, brow furrowed. “Of course.”

She gave a small nod, but her eyes were distant, and her smile—so practiced—wobbled for the first time.

Because in that moment, all the little signs weren’t little anymore.

They were loud.

And she finally understood the one thing Jaehyun wouldn’t say out loud.

He didn’t want her. He never had.

The sitting room was dim, lit only by the flicker of a low-burning lamp. Amelia stood near the window, arms crossed loosely, her posture calm—but her voice held a quiet intensity.

“You covered her with your body,” she said softly, not looking at Jaehyun. “You didn’t even think twice.”

Jaehyun froze in the doorway, guilt bleeding through his expression.

“I—I just acted,” he said weakly.

“No,” she said, finally turning to face him. “You instinctively acted. And your instinct was to protect her.” She let out a soft breath. “It just confirmed what I’ve been trying to ignore.”

His silence was louder than anything he could’ve said.

“You’re in love with her.”

Jaehyun didn’t respond. He didn’t move. But his face said everything.

And it wasn’t denial.

It was realization.

And regret.

“I never meant—” he began, voice rough.

“To hurt me?” Amelia finished. “I know. You’re not cruel, Jaehyun.”

He stepped forward. “I’m sorry.”

But she held up a hand. “Please don’t.”

Her voice wavered, just slightly. “I need you to be honest with me, not sorry for the truth. Was any of it real? Any of this?”

Jaehyun lowered his eyes. “In the beginning… yes. I meant to court you. Marry you. I thought you were the right choice. That it would be simple. Good.”

“And now?”

He looked up at her, pain evident. “It didn’t work out that way.”

Amelia gave a sad smile. “No. It didn’t.”

She paused, then turned toward the hallway.

“Y/N?” she called out.

Y/N appeared hesitantly, fingers still slightly dusted with flour from helping the twins bake. Her eyes flicked between them, alarmed.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, stepping inside slowly.

Amelia looked at her—really looked. And for the first time, saw clearly what had been there all along.

Not scandal. Not betrayal.

Just chemistry. Depth. Longing that had been hiding behind every jab and bicker and sideways glance.

Amelia smiled. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was full of warmth nonetheless.

“I’m leaving.”

Y/N blinked. “What? Why?”

“I don’t belong here,” Amelia said gently. “And it’s time I stopped pretending I did.”

Y/N shook her head, rushing forward. “Amelia—no. Please. This isn’t—he and I—we’re not—”

“You are,” Amelia interrupted, her tone soft but unwavering. “You just haven’t admitted it yet.”

Y/N faltered, her eyes wide with guilt and confusion.

“I should’ve seen it sooner,” Amelia continued, brushing a hand gently down her friend’s arm. “But I see it now. And I’m not angry. I’m just… stepping aside.”

Tears threatened behind Y/N’s eyes. “You don’t have to—”

“I do,” Amelia said firmly. “Because I believe in love, Y/N. And you two—whatever this is between you—it’s not ordinary. It’s real.”

She turned toward Jaehyun, nodding once.

“Be better than your reputation,” she said. “She deserves that.”

Then she kissed Y/N’s cheek, offered them both a last kind smile, and quietly walked out of the room.

The door shut softly behind her.

Leaving Jaehyun and Y/N alone.

In silence.

In tension.

In something far too big to name yet.

Y/N’s eyes snapped open, sharp and furious.

“What did you say to her?” she demanded, voice rising as she rounded on Jaehyun.

He met her glare evenly but sighed. “It’s not my fault.”

She scoffed, stepping back, tension crackling in every inch of her frame. “No, it’s not. She saw through everything. You—you’re the first person of the three to be honest.”

Jaehyun’s jaw tightened but he said nothing.

Y/N shook her head, the anger boiling just beneath the surface. “I’m leaving.”

She turned on her heel, intent on storming out of the room.

But before she could get far, a strong hand caught her wrist.

He pulled her back until she crashed into him, breath hitching at the closeness, her pulse thunderous.

His voice dropped to something softer, more vulnerable. “Please… just give me a chance.”

For a moment, she looked up into his eyes—something raw and real swimming beneath the usual guarded storm.

And then—

“Jae!” came two excited shrieks from the doorway.

The twins burst in, cheeks flushed, pajamas wrinkled but faces bright with mischief.

“Read us a bedtime story!” Miri demanded, tugging at his sleeve.

“Please, Jae,” Yuri added, throwing an arm around Y/N’s waist. “And Y/N too! You have to tuck us in.”

Jaehyun looked between the twins and Y/N, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Well, I suppose a Duke’s duties aren’t done yet,” he said, sweeping the girls into a hug.

Y/N watched, heart softening as Jaehyun dropped to the floor, pulling the twins onto his lap. His voice was gentle and playful as he began the story, animated expressions lighting his face.

She realized she’d never seen him like this before.

Not as the rake. Not as the cold Duke.

But as a brother. A caretaker. Someone capable of tenderness.

Her mind wandered, unbidden and unstoppable.

What if this were us? What if we had children like them—wild and loud and impossibly alive?

The thought made her chest ache.

Had she fallen for him already?

Or was it something deeper—something she couldn’t yet name?

For the first time in weeks, Y/N didn’t want to leave.

----------

The rain battered the roof like a war drum.

Thunder rolled across the hills in waves, shaking the very bones of Aelridge Manor. Most of the household had gone to bed early, tucked away safely beneath quilts and candlelight.

But Y/N couldn’t sleep. 

Her thoughts were too loud. Her heart too unsteady. They were going back to the city tomorrow, this was their last day in the country estate.

She slipped quietly from her room, barefoot and breathless, the white silk of her nightdress clinging to her skin like mist. It was thinner than she realized—barely modest, really. Her nipples pebbled from the chill and the storm, the neckline low and loose, showing more skin than she’d ever dared in daylight.

She didn’t care. She just needed air. Stillness.

The library welcomed her like a secret—dim and warm, the scent of old parchment and pine smoke curling through the air. She moved to the window, lightning flashing across her reflection as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Ten minutes passed in silence.

Then she heard footsteps—heavy, fast, purposeful.

She turned as the door swung open.

And froze.

Jaehyun stepped in, rain-drenched and wild. His shirt was half-unbuttoned, clinging to his torso and revealing the hard planes of his chest, abs clearly visible through the soaked fabric. His hair was slicked back, droplets trailing from his temples down his neck, over the muscle of his collarbone.

He looked like sin incarnate—like something no gentleman ever should.

Y/N’s breath caught audibly.

He stilled when he saw her.

His gaze dropped instantly, taking in her body—the sheer silk, the soft swell of her breasts, the way the firelight highlighted the curve of her thighs beneath the fabric. His jaw flexed.

Her chest rose and fell, too fast, her skin prickling under his stare.

“You shouldn’t be in here this late,” he said, voice low and husky, thunder echoing behind him.

She swallowed, lifting her chin. “Neither should you.”

“I was checking the stables,” he said, taking a step closer. “The horses get spooked in storms. Didn’t want them injuring themselves.”

Y/N nodded, but her eyes hadn’t left his chest. His shirt clung to every ridge, the fabric nearly translucent under the heat of his body. A droplet of rain rolled down his neck, past his sternum.

She had never—never—seen a man so exposed.

Her lips parted. “You’re… soaked.”

“So are you,” he said quietly, his eyes dragging slowly back up to hers, y/n not quite catching it.

A bolt of lightning flashed outside, illuminating the room for a split second—and in that moment, they both looked at each other not as a Duke and a lady, not as adversaries or mismatched companions, but as something far more dangerous:

Two people entirely alone, entirely aware of each other.

Jaehyun’s voice was quieter when he spoke again, rough at the edges. “Did you come here to avoid me?”

Y/N blinked. “I came here to breathe.”

Another step. He was close enough now to see the tremble in her throat. The way her nipples strained against the thin silk. The pulse in her neck beating fast.

“I haven’t been able to breathe since you got here,” he said.

Lightning cracked again.

And still—they stood there.

Not touching.

But barely, barely holding back.

The storm raged outside—but the real storm was inside.

Inside the library, where Jaehyun took one deliberate step forward, then another, until Y/N instinctively backed away… right into the bookcase behind her.

Her breath hitched as her spine met the shelf, leather-bound spines pressing into her back. The scent of old pages, pine smoke, and him wrapped around her like silk.

He didn’t touch her.

Not yet.

But he leaned in close—so close—his lips just above her ear, his breath hot against her skin.

"You drive me absolutely mad," he whispered.

Y/N’s fingers curled into the edge of the bookshelf.

"You're the only woman who’s ever looked me in the eye and told me I was full of shit. The only one who doesn’t care about my title or reputation.”

His nose brushed the curve of her jaw, his fingers grazing the bare skin of her arm, then trailing up to the delicate strap of her nightdress, slipping it slightly off her shoulder with a featherlight touch.

“I dream about that sharp mouth of yours,” he murmured, “about how you always put me in my place. And about this body—" his fingers grazed just beneath her collarbone, her skin erupting in goosebumps, “—this maddening, perfect body bouncing on top of me while I lay in bed, watching you lose yourself on my cock.”

Y/N gasped softly, chest rising into him.

“I don’t care how it looks. I don’t care who gets hurt,” he said, voice rasping like gravel. “I’ve waited so damn long to do this—”

And then he crushed his mouth onto hers.

There was nothing polite about it. It was raw, desperate, consuming.

Y/N moaned into his kiss, arms flying up to wrap around his neck, fingers threading through his damp hair. Her back arched off the shelf, pressing her body into his. The cool silk of her dress slipped easily under his hands as he dragged them along her waist, then lower.

Jaehyun groaned into her mouth, grabbing her thigh and lifting it, hooking it high over his waist. She clung to him as he softly rolled his hips into hers, the fabric of his soaked trousers rubbing against her thin nightdress.

The friction made her head spin.

“You’re trouble,” he whispered against her lips, panting. “You’re going to ruin me.”

“Good,” she breathed, biting gently at his bottom lip.

He growled, gripping her tighter, their bodies locked together, rocking slowly, teasingly, both of them drunk on each other’s heat and the crackle of the thunderstorm outside.

The kiss deepened, mouths slanting together, hungry and slick, her moans swallowed into his tongue, his hands everywhere—her waist, her thigh, her back, her jaw.

And still—it wasn’t enough.

Not yet.

Not even close.

The air between them burned hotter than the fire crackling in the hearth.

Y/N gasped as Jaehyun's mouth returned to hers, hungry and wild. His hands moved with purpose now—gripping her thighs, dragging her impossibly close. The fabric of her nightdress clung to her skin, soaked in heat and want and sweat.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he growled against her lips.

Her breath caught when he grabbed the thin silk strap of her nightdress and shoved it down her arm, then the other, until the entire bodice dropped, baring her chest completely.

His eyes darkened, jaw tightening. “Fuck.”

He dove down, teeth grazing the swell of her breast before biting, not gently, and she cried out, one hand shooting up to grab a fistful of his wet hair.

"Jaehyun—!"

He didn’t stop. His mouth was hot and wet, tongue laving over the bite mark before sucking harshly on her nipple, making her back arch and her thighs tremble.

She yanked his head up and kissed him hard, her lips desperate, her body already pulsing.

Frantic hands went to his shirt, fingers flying, tugging at the buttons, shoving the soaked fabric off his broad shoulders with a frustrated grunt. He shrugged it away, not breaking the kiss, chest heaving, muscles rippling beneath her touch.

Y/N jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist, silk dragging across the bare skin of his stomach. He caught her easily—just one arm beneath her thighs, the other cradling her back.

“Good girl,” he whispered between kisses, lips brushing her cheek, her jaw, her throat. “You’ve been driving me insane for weeks, and now you’re mine.”

Her fingers clawed into his shoulders as he walked them to the nearest surface—the massive oak library table. Books scattered as he sat her down, never once parting from her lips.

“Do you know how many nights I’ve thought about this?” he murmured into her mouth. “How many times I’ve had to walk away from you hard and aching?”

She whimpered, grinding into his hips, feeling how hard he already was for her through his trousers.

“I’d ruin you right here on this table,” he growled, biting her lip between his teeth, “and then do it again just to remind you who made you feel that way.”

“Then do it,” she whispered breathlessly, tugging him closer. “Ruin me.”

And he would.

Oh, he would.

Books lay forgotten across the floor.

Jaehyun's hands gripped the edge of Y/N’s nightdress and slowly dragged it down her thighs, peeling it from her skin inch by inch until she was bare on the table—flushed, breathing hard, legs trembling beneath his touch.

He looked at her like he’d never seen anything so devastating.

“My god,” he muttered. “You’re perfect.”

She tried to speak, but the words dissolved on her tongue when he sank to his knees between her legs, spreading them with a reverence that made her ache.

He leaned in and stole a slow, savoring taste of her.

Y/N’s hips jerked instantly, a cry ripping from her throat as his tongue flicked over her clit and then deeper, teasing, sucking, lapping—his grip firm on her thighs as he held her down, her limbs thrashing from the unbearable pleasure.

“Jaehyun—Jaehyun—!”

“You taste better than I imagined,” he growled against her, voice wrecked. “Could stay here all night.”

She nearly sobbed at that, hips grinding into his mouth helplessly.

But then he stood—fast—pulling off his trousers and briefs in one swift motion, his cock flushed and thick, already weeping at the tip.

He looked at her laid out for him—panting, swollen, glistening—and groaned.

“You don’t know what you’ve done to me,” he said as he lined himself up, rubbing his tip through her slick folds, watching her squirm. “I’ve wanted this since the second you glared at me across that ballroom.”

He pushed in slow.

Y/N’s mouth fell open in a silent cry, her hands flying to grip the edge of the table.

The stretch—god, the ache—was incredible. Every inch of him pressed deep inside her, filling her in a way she’d never known. Her back arched, her chest heaving, eyes fluttering shut.

Jaehyun groaned loudly, stilling inside her for a moment. “So fucking tight. You’re squeezing me like you were made for this.”

She whimpered, moving her hips, needing more.

“Please,” she begged.

He began to move—slow, measured thrusts at first, letting her feel every drag of him, every inch stroking her walls. Her legs wrapped around his waist again, arms reaching for his shoulders, needing him closer.

The table creaked with every thrust. Her moans filled the room like music.

Then his rhythm changed—faster now, deeper, rougher—his body pounding into hers, her name spilling from his lips between broken breaths.

“Look at you,” he whispered against her neck, nipping the skin. “Taking me so well. So good for me.”

Y/N clung to him, whimpering, lost to the rhythm, the burn, the heat. Her nails dug into his back. Her thighs shook.

“I’ll always take care of you,” he murmured. “You hear me?”

“Yes—yes, Jae—!”

“You’re mine now,” he groaned, thrusting deep. “No one else gets to see you like this. No one else gets your sounds, your body, your heart.”

Her climax crashed over her like thunder, her whole body shuddering, limbs jerking as waves of ecstasy rolled through her. She cried out his name, raw and desperate.

Jaehyun followed with a deep groan, his body stiffening, cock twitching as he spilled into her, his mouth buried in her neck, hands gripping her tight like he’d never let her go.

They stayed there, tangled and breathless, as the storm finally began to fade outside.

The storm had quieted.

Only the soft patter of rain remained, mingling with the uneven rhythm of two hearts trying to calm down after shattering every boundary between them.

Jaehyun exhaled shakily, brushing sweat-damp hair from Y/N’s forehead. Her bare skin was warm beneath his hands, her chest still rising and falling in aftershocks.

He looked down at her—completely bare, completely his.

And something shifted.

Without a word, he bent down, wrapping an arm beneath her thighs and the other around her back.

She blinked. “Jae—what are you—”

“Taking you to bed,” he said simply, voice thick with emotion. “You deserve better than a hard oak table.”

He carried her out of the library with ease, bare chests pressed together, her arms around his neck, her legs trembling slightly from what he’d just done to her. The halls were dark, the house asleep. It felt like they were the only two people in the world.

Once in her room, he laid her gently on the bed, tucking the sheets around her like she was something fragile, something precious.

He sat beside her, damp hair falling over his forehead, chest rising slowly.

And then—

He spoke.

No teasing. No flirting. Just truth.

“I’m in love with you.”

Her breath caught.

“I’ve been trying to ignore it. To fight it. To pretend it was something else. Lust. Irritation. Curiosity. But it’s not. I’m in love with you, Y/N. Hopelessly. Entirely.”

She sat up slowly, sheet clutched to her chest, eyes wide.

Jaehyun continued, voice low but certain.

“I don’t want Amelia. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. You’re it for me.”

He reached for her hand, kissed her knuckles gently.

“I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old and exhausted and happy at your side. I want every day to end with you, and every morning to start with your face on my pillow.”

He swallowed hard, eyes burning.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you, if you’ll let me. I’ll give you everything.”

Y/N stared at him, lips parted, emotion clogging her throat.

Then she surged forward—pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss, their mouths crashing together like they couldn’t bear another second apart.

When they broke apart, her eyes were glassy but bright.

“I was scared,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to hurt Amelia. I kept trying to fight it too.”

She ran a hand down his cheek, thumb brushing his jaw.

“But I feel the same, Jaehyun. I think I’ve been falling for you from the very beginning.”

His chest caved with relief, and he kissed her again, softer now, slower—like a promise sealed in lips and breath.

Outside, the rain eased into nothing.

Inside, everything they’d been afraid of gave way to something real.

Something lasting.

Something theirs.

------------

The morning sun broke gently through the curtains, golden light spilling across tangled sheets and bare skin.

Y/N blinked awake, still warm from the heat of Jaehyun’s body wrapped around hers. One of his arms was slung across her waist possessively, his face buried in her neck. She could feel his breath, steady and soft, against her skin.

She smiled, running her fingers through his sleep-mussed hair.

Moments later, the door burst open.

“Y/N!!”

“Jae!!”

Twin voices filled the room, followed by the sound of little feet padding rapidly toward the bed.

Jaehyun sat up with a groggy grin, already expecting it. “Good morning, monsters.”

Miri and Yuri climbed up without hesitation, ignoring the fact that the sheets were pulled hastily over their naked bodies. They flopped beside Y/N, throwing their arms around her, squishing her between them.

“We were gonna sneak in and wake you up,” Yuri said breathlessly, “but the door was unlocked!”

“We wanted to tell you—” Miri began.

“—we love you!” Yuri finished, hugging her tighter.

Y/N laughed, heart swelling at the unfiltered affection. “I love you both too, you little tornadoes.”

Jaehyun leaned back against the headboard, arms behind his head, grinning like a fool. “Guess we should tell them the news, huh?”

Y/N raised a brow, still catching her breath from the ambush. “Should we?”

He nodded, eyes soft as they locked on hers.

“Girls,” he said, voice low but filled with joy, “Y/N and I are getting married.”

Silence.

Then—

Shrieks.

The twins screamed with joy, throwing themselves on top of her in a heap, hugging and bouncing and nearly knocking her off the bed.

“You’re going to be our sister!” Miri cried.

“You’re going to live with us!” Yuri added, beaming.

Y/N was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, holding their faces and kissing their heads. “You two are going to make me cry.”

“Good!” they giggled, tackling her again.

Jaehyun just watched her with a quiet, reverent smile—his whole body relaxed, his chest full. She fit into his life like she’d always belonged.

After a few more minutes of chaos and cuddling, he cleared his throat.

“Alright, breakfast,” he said, gently nudging them toward the edge of the bed. “Go down and have the kitchen staff make you whatever you want.”

“But—”

“No buts,” he said with mock sternness. “We need grown-up time.”

The girls gave mischievous looks and ran out with a flurry of giggles, feet pounding down the stairs.

Y/N flopped back against the pillows, chest rising and falling, eyes sparkling. “They’re a handful.”

“They’re obsessed with you,” Jaehyun said, turning to her. “Can’t blame them.”

She looked at him—shirtless, golden in the morning light, that boyish smile softening the sharpness of his jaw—and suddenly, all that affection turned molten.

Without breaking eye contact, she straddled him slowly, knees on either side of his hips, letting the sheet fall from her bare body.

Jaehyun’s breath caught.

“Y/N—”

“This is how your dream went, wasn’t it?” she whispered, fingers trailing down his chest.

His eyes darkened instantly, hands gripping her thighs. “Exactly.”

She leaned down, brushing her lips across his jaw. “Then let’s make it come true.”

Her hips rocked forward, dragging against his cock as he grew harder beneath her.

He groaned, head falling back. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“And yet,” she teased, kissing down his throat, “you keep begging me to ruin you.”

“I’d let you,” he whispered, gasping as she lined him up and sank down slowly, taking every inch, just like in his dream.

“God, Y/N…”

She smirked against his lips. “You dreamed of me like this?”

“Every night,” he growled.

And as she rode him with slow, grinding precision—his hands on her hips, his mouth lost on her breasts—he realized that this wasn’t a dream anymore.

This was forever.

Their bodies moved together slowly, deeply—no rush, no desperation now. Just warmth. Connection. A rhythm as natural as breathing.

Jaehyun lay beneath her, one hand gripping her hip, the other resting over her heart, as she moved above him—soft sighs slipping from her lips, her forehead pressed to his, sweat-damp skin sliding against his chest.

He stared at her like he still couldn’t believe she was real.

Her name left his lips like a prayer when he came—his arms wrapping around her tightly, mouth pressed to her shoulder as he groaned through it. She followed seconds later, shivering with the release, collapsing onto his chest, breathless and boneless.

For a long moment, they simply lay there, wrapped in each other, the soft morning breeze cooling their flushed skin.

And then—

Jaehyun gently turned them over, laying her down beneath him again, but not for more.

He kissed her.

Softly. Reverently. Again and again.

Her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose, her chin.

“I can’t wait to wake up beside you every day,” he whispered between kisses. “To see you like this—hair messy, skin warm, lips swollen from me.”

She smiled, cupping his face, brushing her thumb over the dimple just barely peeking through.

“You say the filthiest things in the gentlest voice,” she teased.

He laughed, kissing the corner of her mouth. “You’re better than anything I could’ve dreamt of.”

Another kiss.

“And I’ve dreamt of you a lot.”

Y/N pulled him back down into a kiss, this one slower, lazier, full of everything they didn’t need to say.

Love. Safety. Home.

They made out for what felt like forever—legs tangled, hands roaming lazily, hearts open and unafraid.

And when they finally drifted off, limbs entwined beneath the sheets, Jaehyun still murmured her name like a vow.

Because she was his dream.

And finally, finally—

She was his reality.

----------

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He fucked you until you were limp; wrecked and ruined. He fucked you until you were clinging onto consciousness, teetering between cloud nine and reality as his hips rutted into you mercilessly as if he wanted your body to remember every vein and crevice of his cock; as if he was molding your soft, gummy walls into the shape of him. 

He wanted you to never forget who could make you feel this amazing and he sure as hell wanted you to feel it the next day.

Every whimper. Every whine. Every mark on your body. He sees it as a medal — proof of his performance and he’s proud of what he can do to you. 

His ego, his possessiveness, his confidence, his pride ripples through you with every pathetic little moan you desperately let out, very sob you attempted to muffle, every muscle in your body that trembles.

You’re three orgasms into the night — your back pressed into the mattress, feet towards the headboard, and under your boyfriend’s tall frame while he’s still rock hard and parked deep between your legs, even after experiencing an intense orgasm of his own nearly 30 minutes prior. 

Still reeling from your second release, you close your eyes, attempting to stop the entire room from spinning only to feel your boyfriend’s hand softly slap your cheek, bringing you back to reality. His eyes are sharp and a smirk pulls from a corner of his mouth before a cocky chuckle is heard. 

“Look at you,” he clicks his tongue, fake concern dripping from his tone. “Look at what I do to you.” He lifts his eyes to the mirror, strategically placed near the foot of your bed. 

He lifts your chin gently, urging you to tilt your head back to look at yourself — eyes glazed over, drool and saliva coating your chin, hickies spread all over your neck and chest, and your once pretty lip gloss he had you wear is absolutely ruined and messily smeared over your skin. 

You whimper at the sight of yourself — unraveled to the point you’re trembling under him, only to realize he isn’t done. 

Part of you is absolutely exhausted, but the other part — the needy part — desires more. Hungry to see how long he can keep you like this until he finally becomes undone. How much more you can take until you can’t anymore. 

“More…” you tiredly let out. “Need more.”

“More?” He mocks, dragging the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip as you tilt your head back in its previous position. “I need to hear you beg for it, baby.”

God, does he make you beg. 

His thumb dips between your lips, soon coming in contact with your tongue and coating it with your saliva before he teasingly rolls his digit over your aching clit, building you up to the brink of another orgasm only to rip it away from you over and over and over again. 

“Jae—” you manage to choke out, pathetically to say the least.

Your thighs are quivering, the muscles in your abdomen screams out in pain with the way you’re clenching, your heart thumps so hard you’re convinced it’ll jump out of your chest, and you're certain your poor overstimulated and sensitive clit has been pushed to its limit. And yet, you’re still desperate for more. 

“Need you,” you hiccup. “Please.” Your voice hung, trembling, somewhere between a beg and a cry. 

Jaehyun smiles. “That’s it,” he softly purrs, nuzzling the tip of his nose against the crook of your neck before slowly trailing up to your jaw. The palm of his hand drags against your thigh, attempting to soothe its quivering state.

“No one else can handle me like you can.” He presses a tender kiss against your jawline. “You’re perfect for me, isn’t that right, my pretty little thing.” 

You nod, letting out an obedient hum. 

“I love you,” he breathes, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “Even when I fuck you like I don’t.” He whispers. 

Jaehyun grips onto your hips, tilting it up before he roughly thrusts into you without warning — finally giving into your need. 

“This is what you wanted, right baby?” He grunts, his cock rapidly moving in and out of you. “You love this, hm? Being filled up, praised, used, adored.”

You mindlessly nod, his words slowly becoming a jumbled up mess in your head as you feel his cock dive deeper into you, tip bullying your cervix effortlessly. Electricity jolts through you, leaving your skin tingling. 

His grunts and moans mix with your loud sobs as you inch closer to, yet, another orgasm embarrassingly quick. His hand presses against the lower part of your stomach and you hear nothing but a laugh of disbelief. 

“I can fucking — feel — fuck!” He doesn’t bother to finish his sentence, too mesmerized by the bulge he feels when he’s penetrating inside you before pulling his hand away, eyes widening in hypnotizing fascination. “Look,” he smiles devilishly. “Look how deep I am inside of you.” 

Your weight shifts to your elbows, weakly propping yourself up to see what he’s in awe about. When you see it, you can’t look away. You watch him slow his movements, deliberately dragging every inch of his shaft like he’s memorizing the look of it — of you swallowing him completely before his hips return to its rough pace.

It’s not too long until your back arches out of instinct as your climax rips through your entire body. Your toes curl and every muscle tenses up as your thighs clamp against his hip, your body involuntarily moving to chase every last bit of your orgasm. Your jaw falls open, unable to speak and you’re convinced your muscles are melted into your mattress. You want to cry — not from pain, not from ache, but from the idea that he’ll eventually pull out, leaving you fluttering and empty. 

You want more. You want this forever.

You’ve already lost count of how many orgasms Jaehyun has pulled from you in the past hour, let alone since the weekend with him started. 

Stars flood your vision and your breaths come out in shallow bursts before feeling his hands press against the sides of your neck as your head lolls back, your body completely spent. 

“Look at me baby,” he purrs, amused, holding your head up for you. “Another orgasm that has you shaking and yet your pretty cunt keeps pulling me in.” 

He kisses your cheek as your eyes flutter open and you glance at the bare base of his shaft striking your folds, wet and glistening, as his hips continue to move back and forth into you. 

“Does it feel good when I use you like that?” He questions, mockingly, slightly tilting your head up for you to meet his eyes. “Tell me.” 

Your mouth opens obediently to respond, but you can’t. You try to refocus, blinking slowly like you’re half dreaming. You’re trying, you really are, but nothing comes out except for your shattered breathing — chest heaving erratically as if you’ve already forgotten how to breathe. 

Jaehyun swipes the wetness from under your eyes. “My poor baby’s brain’s gone, isn’t it?” He lets out a low laugh.

You mindlessly nod, whimpering as you feel his soft lips press against your forehead, giving you a gentle kiss, but you know all too well that it’s a kiss that warns you that he isn’t done yet. 

All you could register in your mind is the feeling of your boyfriend — his cock stuffed deep into you, his hips grinding into you, his hands holding your head up as you desperately try to keep your eyes open, and his soft lips against your forehead. 

Your heart races, your head is spinning, and your pussy is aching. You’ve never been this overstimulated in your life, but you can’t help but want more. You weakly grip onto Jaehyun’s wrist, keeping yourself grounded as much as you can while he snaps his hips back and forth recklessly, almost feeling as if he’s going deeper than he already is. Nothing but the slapping of skin and his desperate groans bounce against his four bedroom walls.

You whine his name, signaling him another orgasm is inching closer and closer. 

He presses his forehead against yours and you widen your spread, eyes half lidded to see your boyfriend’s tip bulging inside of you as he breaks you open with every deliberate and delicious buck of his hips.

Your body arches from instinct and you’re loudly crying out in pleasure — convinced that his poor neighbors must have already filed a noise complaint against him. Tears begin to well from your eyes; not from sadness, but from intensity. Your walls flutter around him and you’re shaking — strung out and delirious. Your mind goes blank, nothing but pleasure and his name is left on repeat. 

Your lashes flutter, attempting to keep your heavy lids open only for your eyes to roll back. Your jaw slacks open and a weak, helpless whimper slips out of you, giving in and allowing your boyfriend to take what belongs to him. 

Your body eventually gives up holding itself up, causing you to fall back into the mattress. His movements slowly come to a halt, keeping himself hard and buried inside of you. 

“Breathe baby,” he coos before fluttering your cheeks with his kisses and stroking his thumb against your hips. “You with me?”

You’re silent, throat raw from your screams of pleasure, but your lips part and a barely audible ‘yes’ is heard.

“There you are, eyes on me. Let me see those pretty eyes.”

When you look at him half lidded, you see a cocky smile stretch across his face. 

“There you go,” he softly chuckles. “My pretty girl, you’re safe, I’m right here.” He tucks your hair behind your ear, knuckles stroking your heated and tear stained cheeks. “You ready for more, baby?” 

Your whimper is enough of an answer.

“Yeah you are,” Jaehyun grins. “Let’s see how far you can be pushed until you break. Get on your stomach.” 

You slowly obey his commands, using whatever strength you have left to flip yourself over. Pulling a pillow under your chin, you begin to feel Jaehyun’s large hands rub against your thighs and up your hips. His lips press against the supple skin of your backside.

“So perfect,” he admires, giving your flesh a slap and soothing that same area with the palm of his hands.

“Yours,” you whisper, barely audible and muffled against his mattress, but he hears it — of course he hears it.

“That’s right. You’re mine,” he says, trailing kisses up your spine. “All mine.” He quietly repeats to himself as he slides his erect cock into you again. 

Pressing his chest against your back, his arm snakes around your throat and your chin resting perfectly against the bend of his elbow with just enough pressure to keep you in place. 

Your hand claws at the bedsheets under you, causing it to peel from the edge of the mattress, while the other grips onto Jaehyun’s forearm, frantically finding something to hold onto. Your limbs are boneless, allowing your boyfriend to use you just the way you want him to. 

It’s only seconds until he’s fully slamming his pelvis against your ass and nothing but choked out sobs slip between your lips. His hips jackhammers into you, hungrily, and his grunts are the only things that fill your ears. 

“Breathe for me,” he huffs, panting as he plunges into you frantically. 

You try your best, your breaths shaking as you try to steady it with every exhale. 

“That’s it, just like that. Good girl,” he says, low and reverent, as his grip slightly tightens around your neck. “You’re not going anywhere until I’m done with you, understand?”

You hum in response, nodding your head before his words could register in your brain. 

He glances at the way your nails rake the bedsheets before digging into the mattress and he feels your gummy walls clench onto his shaft as you bite down on your bottom lip. You’re close and he knows it. 

He releases his grip around your throat before you fall limply onto the mattress. One of his hands presses against your lower back while his other presses against the back of your neck when he mounts you — fucking you brutally as you attempt to muffle your screams into your sheets.

“Just one more baby,” he says through gritted teeth. “Come for me one more time. You can do that, can’t you?” 

You whimper in response. You don’t bother to warn him anymore, you just sob through your climax, far too gone to care as your eyes roll to the back of your skull and your mind fills with haze. 

“Don’t stop,” Jaehyun warns, fucking you through it. “Don’t you dare stop. I want it — all of it. Let me feel that sweet pussy lose itself.”

You’re twitching, trembling, and breathless. Drool slips from your mouth and onto the mattress as your body pluses against his erection, wrecking you with pleasure you can’t control. You’re jolting, helpless, and absolutely broken in the most satisfied and beautiful way possible. 

“Jae—” your voice hitches. “I—”

“I know, baby. I know, it’s a lot, hm?” Jaehyun comforts you, lips pressing against the back of your head before gently pecking kisses against your cheek. “You’re doing so well, coming for me over and over again and taking me like the perfect girl you are.”

Your lips curl into a weak smile, thriving off his words.

“Hold on a little longer for me, I know you can do it, baby. Just a few more strokes, okay?” He bucks into you at a brutal pace, leaving your whole body flushed with heat and overwhelmed with bliss.

Your incoherent mutters stumble out from between your lips and you hear Jaehyun’s praise slur together, clearly pussy drunk off you when hips begin stuttering. 

“I’m gonna c—” his voice hitches before your cunt is flooded with his warm release as he continues to push his load further into you, muttering the word “mine” repeatedly with every deep thrust.

When he comes to his senses, he lays next to you. You curl into him, your body trembling as you feel his warm cum drip out of you. Reaching over towards his nightstand, he urges you to sit up and lifts the water bottle to your lips, watching you gulp down the refreshing beverage. His hands begin to soothe and massage you, pressing kisses against your skin in devotion. 

“You’re okay, babe.” He reassures, gently stroking your cheek with his knuckles before pulling you onto him, your head resting against his chest and basking in his warmth. “You did so well,” he smiles. “Let me take care of you, okay?” 

You nod, letting out a soft giggle and a satisfied sigh when you feel his blanket wrap around you. 

“Just rest,” he softly commands, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. “I’ll order some food, we can take a shower, and I’ll give you a full body massage before bed. Does that sound good?” 

“You’re spoiling me,” you giggle, cheek pressed against his chest before you feel his thumb stroke your waist. “But yeah, that would be nice, thank you.”

Jaehyun cups the back of your head, stroking your hair endearingly. 

“I hope you're proud of yourself.” You tease softly. “You got what you want, I’ll definitely feel this tomorrow.”

He slowly slips his hands up your chest, fondling your breast all while leaving wet kisses along your shoulder, his pretty soft moans escaping on your skin. “Y/N, wake up,” he whispers.

You let out a soft laugh, making him smile on your skin. “Good morning,” he whispers in your ear. “You look so pretty when you sleep.”

You lift your hand, placing it on top of his already touching your chest. Jaehyun bites his lip softly, feeling you push your ass in his hips, furthermore smothering his hard on. The man feels like he's in a dream, the way you turn, eyes half open as you stare at him still trying to fully wake yourself. He just can't help himself, immediately lifting himself off your shoulder and onto your lips, kissing you in the softest most sensual way possible.

“Good morning,” you said, voice groggy. “At least let me brush first.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. He's got that look in his eyes that means he's not planning on letting you get up from the bed for a while. You feel him move his hand from your chest silently, finger tracing down your stomach all the way between your legs.

You don't stop him when he dips a finger into your pussy, lips grazing your ear. “I'm sorry, I just can't help myself,” he mumbles. You're not looking at him but you can tell he's smiling.

You place your hand over his, pressing your back onto his naked chest, his rapid heartbeat on your back. Jaehyun rubs your clit slowly, pressing his fingers into you. You turn your head, brows slightly furrowed at the butterflies in your stomach. He wastes no time capturing your lips in a deep kiss, tongue instantly on yours. You remove your hand from his, reaching back, wanting to jerk him off, but he shook his head.

“Don't worry about me,” he said almost in a whisper. “You'll get that soon I promise.” He kisses you one more time before going back to your neck. Jaehyun kisses down your body slowly, wet kisses trailing down your side until he moves you, laying you on your back. You can tell where this was headed just by how he stared at you through his bangs.

“Baby please,” you sighed softly. “Let me shower.”

“Fuck no.” Jaehyun kisses your stomach, licking the skin as he prys your legs open. “God you're so perfect.” His body towers above yours, eyes blown with desire as he licks your chest, nipples in his mouth almost instantly. Jaehyun is so lost in your body, eyes closed as he flicks his tongue on the soft bud.

“That feels good hm?” Jaehyun stares up at you, your expressions and noises making him melt in your skin. “Keep making those noises for me princess.”

You felt like you were being punished and rewarded all the same time. He knows your body better than you do, knows what you want to hear, what you want to feel. He's your soulmate and you wouldn't have it any other way.

He moves down your body, shifting under the covers in the king-size bed. You watch as he disappears between your legs. Jaehyun kisses the inside of your thighs, nipping at the skin making you jump. “God I missed this so much,” he mumbled on your skin.

“You ate me out last night,” you giggle softly.

"And I couldn't wait to do it again." He kisses your clit, licking the bud of nerves right after. Jaehyun wrapped his lips around the bud, sucking it. His eyes were piercing as he stared at yours, your body immediately beginning to tremble from the intense pressure. Releasing your clit with a small pop, he guides the hot muscle along your pussy, licking a long stripe collecting your slick on his tongue.

He feels your hands move the blanket from his head, allowing you to see more of his beautiful face. He continues to lick you all over, making you moan more and more. He's so obsessed with you, the way you lay there sleepily eyes still droopy from waking up. Jaehyun knows no one will ever make you feel as good as he does even when he's not even trying.

“My pretty girl,” he mumbles. He reaches up, your hand instantly interlocking with his.

“Jaehyun, it feels so good,” you whimper softly. Your other hand ends up on his head, pushing it forward as you begin to move your hips. Jaehyun is staring at you, almost intoxicated on you, enjoying every moment of being at your mercy.

He keeps his tongue on your clit, moving his other hand between your legs. Jaehyun easily slips two fingers in you, your pussy squeezing around the digits. “Fuck,” you gasp.

“Pretty girl,” he whispers. “My pretty girl. All mine, right?”

“Yes baby,” you moan softly. Jaehyun fingers you slowly but that only amplifies the pressure building in your stomach.

“And this pussy belongs to me right?” You nod fast, whining louder when he fingers you faster. Jaehyun redirects his attention to your clit, tongue flicking the bud with a smirk on his face.

The air blowing in from the ocean mixed with the air in the room, the smell of salt and sex mixed hitting your nose sending a nice zing up your spine. He pounds his fingers into you, every ounce of self control beginning to disappear with every whine and whimper you let out.

“Oh my God,” you moan, throwing your head back. “Feels so fucking good. Keep going, just like that.”

Jaehyun kept his same pace, lips locked around the sensitive bud sucking softly. He could feel your walls behind him tightening around his digits, body beginning to tremble under his touch. Jaehyun knows your body too well, knows you're about to cum right on his fingers.

He feels your hands rake through this hair, a strong grip on the brown locks as you hold his other hand tight. Jaehyun fingers piston in you, the sound of your pussy squelching loud in his ears. “Keep grinding baby, you can do it. Cum for me,” he says softly, eyes locked on yours.

Your hips are moving on their own, jaw dropped as soft moans and whines fall from your mouth. “Fuck, oh my god…” The grip on his hand tightens when your orgasm hits you. That euphoric feeling filling your body. Jaehyun pulls his fingers out, staring at them with stars in his eyes.

You watch him suck his fingers cleans then immediately moving on to your soaking wet cunt, lapping up your cum like it's the last time he'll taste you.

“Holy fuck,” he mumbles. “I am so lucky to have you.” Jaehyun lifts himself up, crawling on top of you. You look so pretty under him, the thin layer of sweat on your face, lips wet and bruised from both you and him biting them.

His cock is hard, thick and long against his stomach. The tip is angry and red dripping with precum, contrast to his soft words and touches. Jaehyun loves the way you gawk. You've been with him for so long, but it still makes you excited and nervous. But aside from your lustful expression, a drained expression consumes you.

“Are you tired princess?”

You nod, lids low in lust. “If you loved me, you'd fuck me back to sleep.”

You didn't have to tell him twice. Jaehyun climbs onto you, falling onto his side. You turn your body to face him, breast pressed against his chest when he wrapped his arms around your waist. His breath is ragged, too gone to reel himself back in.

“Gonna fuck this pussy good, don't worry,” he mumbles, words almost slurred fighting against his excitement. Jaehyun lifts your leg, throwing it over his body. You're impatient and too tired to want to take things slow, so you reach between your bodies, taking his cock and lining it with you. Jaehyun pushes his tip in, a gasp leaving his lips.

“Jesus,” he moaned breathlessly. “You're all mine. All mine baby.”

“All yours.” You cup his cheek, kissing his face while he bottoms in you, splitting you open. Jaehyun thrust in you slowly, too afraid of cumming too early.

He's so deep inside you, his cock rubbing against every ridge inside you making your head spin. You kiss him soft, lips lingering on him as you breath heavily. Jaehyun's hand is tight on your waist, trembling with energy as he drags his cock in and out of you. But his self control can only last so long. He begins to thrust faster, the need for more friction starting to take over.

“Jae,” you whine softly, brows furrowing. “So deep..”

“I know baby, I know,” he coos. His deep voice rings through your ears. The slow pace feels good, too good, but you need more and he could tell. Without a word he pulls out, leaving you empty for a second before he gets in front of you. Jaehyun sheaths himself inside you quickly, pushing your legs up knees to your chest.

The sensation is too great to even make a noise, the moment he begins to drill into you, you go slack jawed. Your hands hold the back of your knees accompanying his hands on your thighs. He pounds into you, the sound of your wet cunt hits his ears making him grin.

“You like my cock so much don't you?” His voice is rough and raspy, breath staggered.

A feeble “Uh huh” is all you could let out, not being able to form the proper words. “Just like that, fuck,” you whimper.

“Anything for you baby. My pretty baby. You're made for me, just for me.. Shit, oh my gosh.” Jaehyun can't stop rambling. He's completely fucked out of his mind. The sensation of your tight wet pussy has him lost, the pleasure fogging his brain a bit too much for his comfort. But he likes feeling lost in you.

“Come here, kiss me daddy.”

Jaehyun lets his body fall, one arm holding himself up, the other wrapping around your waist. Your arms wrap around his neck, kissing him deep and hard, your moans spilling into his mouth every time he hits your sweet spot. You held onto him like your life depended on it, nails starting to dig into the back of his neck.

“Who do you belong to,” he says between gritted teeth.

“You.”

“Good girl. Fuck baby I'm so close,” he groans. “Gonna cum so deep in this pussy. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

You nod fast, whimpers being the only sound you can make at this point. Jaehyun watches your eyes roll back, head slowly falling back as you let out a guttural moan. “I'm cumming Jaehyun.”

“Let go for me babygirl, cum all over this dick.” Jaehyun keeps pounding you, your walls getting tighter and tighter around him. He loves watching you cum, the way your body trembles and the cries you let out are like heaven to him, but he can't stop. He has to cum, he has to breed you. Jaehyun thrust even faster, chasing the high he's been waiting for since the moment he woke up.

“Gonna breed this pussy, gonna make you mine.” Jaehyun's eyes are screwed shut now, fucking you so deep the only thing you can see is stars. You've gone from quiet moans to loud, tired whimpers, begging for more but overstimulated at the same time. “Gonna put a baby inside you princess. You want that?”

“Y-yes put a baby in me,” you whine in his neck.

His grip on your waist gets more intense, shaky groans pouring into your ears when he cums deep inside you. The warm feeling fills you up, providing both of you with a sense of relief. And you kiss him, deep and hard the taste of his sweat hitting your lips onto your tongue.

Jaehyun fully collapsed on top of you, heaving as he buried his face in your neck. He lets a moment of silence pass, taking in the moment appreciating the closeness of your hot bodies. That's when he remembers where exactly you two are. In a beach house, windows open, the smell of the ocean hitting his nose once again mixed with the smell of both your bodies intertwined.

“I love you so much,” he whispers, listing his head when faced with your peaceful expression. You fell asleep. Your pretty lips slightly parted, face still glistening with sweat, arms still around his neck, and cock still inside you. And he could lay with you like this for ages.

He slowly slips his hands up your chest, fondling your breast all while leaving wet kisses along your shoulder, his pretty soft moans escaping on your skin. “Y/N, wake up,” he whispers.

You let out a soft laugh, making him smile on your skin. “Good morning,” he whispers in your ear. “You look so pretty when you sleep.”

You lift your hand, placing it on top of his already touching your chest. Jaehyun bites his lip softly, feeling you push your ass in his hips, furthermore smothering his hard on. The man feels like he's in a dream, the way you turn, eyes half open as you stare at him still trying to fully wake yourself. He just can't help himself, immediately lifting himself off your shoulder and onto your lips, kissing you in the softest most sensual way possible.

“Good morning,” you said, voice groggy. “At least let me brush first.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. He's got that look in his eyes that means he's not planning on letting you get up from the bed for a while. You feel him move his hand from your chest silently, finger tracing down your stomach all the way between your legs.

You don't stop him when he dips a finger into your pussy, lips grazing your ear. “I'm sorry, I just can't help myself,” he mumbles. You're not looking at him but you can tell he's smiling.

You place your hand over his, pressing your back onto his naked chest, his rapid heartbeat on your back. Jaehyun rubs your clit slowly, pressing his fingers into you. You turn your head, brows slightly furrowed at the butterflies in your stomach. He wastes no time capturing your lips in a deep kiss, tongue instantly on yours. You remove your hand from his, reaching back, wanting to jerk him off, but he shook his head.

“Don't worry about me,” he said almost in a whisper. “You'll get that soon I promise.” He kisses you one more time before going back to your neck. Jaehyun kisses down your body slowly, wet kisses trailing down your side until he moves you, laying you on your back. You can tell where this was headed just by how he stared at you through his bangs.

“Baby please,” you sighed softly. “Let me shower.”

“Fuck no.” Jaehyun kisses your stomach, licking the skin as he prys your legs open. “God you're so perfect.” His body towers above yours, eyes blown with desire as he licks your chest, nipples in his mouth almost instantly. Jaehyun is so lost in your body, eyes closed as he flicks his tongue on the soft bud.

“That feels good hm?” Jaehyun stares up at you, your expressions and noises making him melt in your skin. “Keep making those noises for me princess.”

You felt like you were being punished and rewarded all the same time. He knows your body better than you do, knows what you want to hear, what you want to feel. He's your soulmate and you wouldn't have it any other way.

He moves down your body, shifting under the covers in the king-size bed. You watch as he disappears between your legs. Jaehyun kisses the inside of your thighs, nipping at the skin making you jump. “God I missed this so much,” he mumbled on your skin.

“You ate me out last night,” you giggle softly.

"And I couldn't wait to do it again." He kisses your clit, licking the bud of nerves right after. Jaehyun wrapped his lips around the bud, sucking it. His eyes were piercing as he stared at yours, your body immediately beginning to tremble from the intense pressure. Releasing your clit with a small pop, he guides the hot muscle along your pussy, licking a long stripe collecting your slick on his tongue.

He feels your hands move the blanket from his head, allowing you to see more of his beautiful face. He continues to lick you all over, making you moan more and more. He's so obsessed with you, the way you lay there sleepily eyes still droopy from waking up. Jaehyun knows no one will ever make you feel as good as he does even when he's not even trying.

“My pretty girl,” he mumbles. He reaches up, your hand instantly interlocking with his.

“Jaehyun, it feels so good,” you whimper softly. Your other hand ends up on his head, pushing it forward as you begin to move your hips. Jaehyun is staring at you, almost intoxicated on you, enjoying every moment of being at your mercy.

He keeps his tongue on your clit, moving his other hand between your legs. Jaehyun easily slips two fingers in you, your pussy squeezing around the digits. “Fuck,” you gasp.

“Pretty girl,” he whispers. “My pretty girl. All mine, right?”

“Yes baby,” you moan softly. Jaehyun fingers you slowly but that only amplifies the pressure building in your stomach.

“And this pussy belongs to me right?” You nod fast, whining louder when he fingers you faster. Jaehyun redirects his attention to your clit, tongue flicking the bud with a smirk on his face.

The air blowing in from the ocean mixed with the air in the room, the smell of salt and sex mixed hitting your nose sending a nice zing up your spine. He pounds his fingers into you, every ounce of self control beginning to disappear with every whine and whimper you let out.

“Oh my God,” you moan, throwing your head back. “Feels so fucking good. Keep going, just like that.”

Jaehyun kept his same pace, lips locked around the sensitive bud sucking softly. He could feel your walls behind him tightening around his digits, body beginning to tremble under his touch. Jaehyun knows your body too well, knows you're about to cum right on his fingers.

He feels your hands rake through this hair, a strong grip on the brown locks as you hold his other hand tight. Jaehyun fingers piston in you, the sound of your pussy squelching loud in his ears. “Keep grinding baby, you can do it. Cum for me,” he says softly, eyes locked on yours.

Your hips are moving on their own, jaw dropped as soft moans and whines fall from your mouth. “Fuck, oh my god…” The grip on his hand tightens when your orgasm hits you. That euphoric feeling filling your body. Jaehyun pulls his fingers out, staring at them with stars in his eyes.

You watch him suck his fingers cleans then immediately moving on to your soaking wet cunt, lapping up your cum like it's the last time he'll taste you.

“Holy fuck,” he mumbles. “I am so lucky to have you.” Jaehyun lifts himself up, crawling on top of you. You look so pretty under him, the thin layer of sweat on your face, lips wet and bruised from both you and him biting them.

His cock is hard, thick and long against his stomach. The tip is angry and red dripping with precum, contrast to his soft words and touches. Jaehyun loves the way you gawk. You've been with him for so long, but it still makes you excited and nervous. But aside from your lustful expression, a drained expression consumes you.

“Are you tired princess?”

You nod, lids low in lust. “If you loved me, you'd fuck me back to sleep.”

You didn't have to tell him twice. Jaehyun climbs onto you, falling onto his side. You turn your body to face him, breast pressed against his chest when he wrapped his arms around your waist. His breath is ragged, too gone to reel himself back in.

“Gonna fuck this pussy good, don't worry,” he mumbles, words almost slurred fighting against his excitement. Jaehyun lifts your leg, throwing it over his body. You're impatient and too tired to want to take things slow, so you reach between your bodies, taking his cock and lining it with you. Jaehyun pushes his tip in, a gasp leaving his lips.

“Jesus,” he moaned breathlessly. “You're all mine. All mine baby.”

“All yours.” You cup his cheek, kissing his face while he bottoms in you, splitting you open. Jaehyun thrust in you slowly, too afraid of cumming too early.

He's so deep inside you, his cock rubbing against every ridge inside you making your head spin. You kiss him soft, lips lingering on him as you breath heavily. Jaehyun's hand is tight on your waist, trembling with energy as he drags his cock in and out of you. But his self control can only last so long. He begins to thrust faster, the need for more friction starting to take over.

“Jae,” you whine softly, brows furrowing. “So deep..”

“I know baby, I know,” he coos. His deep voice rings through your ears. The slow pace feels good, too good, but you need more and he could tell. Without a word he pulls out, leaving you empty for a second before he gets in front of you. Jaehyun sheaths himself inside you quickly, pushing your legs up knees to your chest.

The sensation is too great to even make a noise, the moment he begins to drill into you, you go slack jawed. Your hands hold the back of your knees accompanying his hands on your thighs. He pounds into you, the sound of your wet cunt hits his ears making him grin.

“You like my cock so much don't you?” His voice is rough and raspy, breath staggered.

A feeble “Uh huh” is all you could let out, not being able to form the proper words. “Just like that, fuck,” you whimper.

“Anything for you baby. My pretty baby. You're made for me, just for me.. Shit, oh my gosh.” Jaehyun can't stop rambling. He's completely fucked out of his mind. The sensation of your tight wet pussy has him lost, the pleasure fogging his brain a bit too much for his comfort. But he likes feeling lost in you.

“Come here, kiss me daddy.”

Jaehyun lets his body fall, one arm holding himself up, the other wrapping around your waist. Your arms wrap around his neck, kissing him deep and hard, your moans spilling into his mouth every time he hits your sweet spot. You held onto him like your life depended on it, nails starting to dig into the back of his neck.

“Who do you belong to,” he says between gritted teeth.

“You.”

“Good girl. Fuck baby I'm so close,” he groans. “Gonna cum so deep in this pussy. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

You nod fast, whimpers being the only sound you can make at this point. Jaehyun watches your eyes roll back, head slowly falling back as you let out a guttural moan. “I'm cumming Jaehyun.”

“Let go for me babygirl, cum all over this dick.” Jaehyun keeps pounding you, your walls getting tighter and tighter around him. He loves watching you cum, the way your body trembles and the cries you let out are like heaven to him, but he can't stop. He has to cum, he has to breed you. Jaehyun thrust even faster, chasing the high he's been waiting for since the moment he woke up.

“Gonna breed this pussy, gonna make you mine.” Jaehyun's eyes are screwed shut now, fucking you so deep the only thing you can see is stars. You've gone from quiet moans to loud, tired whimpers, begging for more but overstimulated at the same time. “Gonna put a baby inside you princess. You want that?”

“Y-yes put a baby in me,” you whine in his neck.

His grip on your waist gets more intense, shaky groans pouring into your ears when he cums deep inside you. The warm feeling fills you up, providing both of you with a sense of relief. And you kiss him, deep and hard the taste of his sweat hitting your lips onto your tongue.

Jaehyun fully collapsed on top of you, heaving as he buried his face in your neck. He lets a moment of silence pass, taking in the moment appreciating the closeness of your hot bodies. That's when he remembers where exactly you two are. In a beach house, windows open, the smell of the ocean hitting his nose once again mixed with the smell of both your bodies intertwined.

“I love you so much,” he whispers, listing his head when faced with your peaceful expression. You fell asleep. Your pretty lips slightly parted, face still glistening with sweat, arms still around his neck, and cock still inside you. And he could lay with you like this for ages.

“You’re a child prodigy, sweetheart!” he’d always say. Lies. At seven, you were a terrible player. But he’d clap like you’d just performed at Carnegie Hall.

It was the first piece you ever played together.

“Two on a bench, one heart between the notes.” He’d say.

You ran your hand along the worn wood of the piano. Something heavy settled in your stomach.

You never handled strong emotions well.

“Most gifted people don’t.”  His eyes would twinkle with understanding.

But now, you took a seat at the bench and inhaled.

“Go on, sweetheart. You can do it,” he’d whisper every time you sat down to play something new.

Your fingers twitched. Für Elise stared back at you. The memory of his voice echoed:

“It doesn’t matter if the piece is happy, sweetheart. If you play it with sadness, people will feel it. It’s not about the notes. It’s about what you pour into them. Feel it. Then play it.”

So what were you feeling?

Grief. Sadness. Anger. Loneliness. Desperation.

Could Für Elise carry all that?

You didn’t know.

But your fingers moved on their own. And for the first time in almost two months…you let the first tear fall.

It hurt. it hurt so fucking bad.

He was gone. The only one who ever truly cared for you… was gone. And your only release? The music that killed him.

“I assume you’re the granddaughter he liked to brag about?”

You whipped around at the sound of a new voice. You hadn’t even realized someone else was in the room.

You didn’t trust your voice, so you just nodded.

Standing there was a tall, posh-looking man— Black turtleneck, black slacks, and leather shoes. Too polished for a place this sacred and raw.

“I’m Jaehyun, a friend of your grandfather” he stretched his hand offering a handshake

You stood up form the bench and shook his hand

“I know who you are” Your voice came out scratchy and strained.

Everyone who was interested in classical music and pianos knew who The Jeong Jaehyun was.

He was an actual child prodigy who actually played at Carnegie hall.

His name was worth more than gold in the industry.

But-

“Good. I heard your playing out there, and I know it is not the most appropriate time to say this, but your attempt at Für Elise was horrible.”

-Everyone also knew he was a conceited little prick.

Too prim and far too proper.

Which is why it surprised you when he said He was a ‘friend’ of your grandfather.

“I’m not a professional”  You informed him

He nodded as if grateful that you really weren’t

“Grandpa taught me how to play”

He paused for a moment and his gaze shifted to the piano behind you.

He clenched his jaw and whispered “I can tell”

But it wasn’t in a rude tone…it sounded almost

Envious.

A Few Months Later

Grief had stopped screaming.

It just sat with you now—quiet and heavy—like a coat you didn’t take off, even in the heat.

You didn’t go back to the piano much.

Not because you didn’t want to.

But because it still smelled like him. Sounded like him. It felt like holding hands with a ghost.

You stood in front of your mirror, smoothing out your dress and releasing a big breath.

Your friend’s voice had been light when she invited you.

“It’s just a community fundraiser. Small, casual. They’ll have music, snacks, people who don’t take themselves too seriously.”

You almost said no. But then she added:

“They’re naming the practice room after your grandpa.”

So you said yes. For him. Because he would’ve liked that.

The room was cramped but warm. People laughed, bumped shoulders, sipped boxed juice and clapped after every shaky performance.

 The piano was far too close to the speakers and had three sticky keys.

It was perfect.

You stood near the back, arms folded, letting the noise wrap around your silence.

“We’ve got a final performance tonight,” the MC said, with a lilt of surprise. “Please welcome… Jeong Jaehyun?”

Your blood ran cold.

You looked up.

And there he was.

Still pristine. Still poised. Still unreadable.

His eyes met yours across the room. Just once.

No smile. No nod. Just that silent look that said I remember you.

He sat.

You didn’t breathe.

His fingers moved like water—every note clean, every phrase controlled.

And then you recognized it.

Your grandfather’s piece.

Your lungs tightened.

It was the one he never finished. The one he used to hum around the house with a pencil between his teeth. The one he said would never be “perfect,” and didn’t need to be.

But Jaehyun’s version… was perfect.

Painfully so.

Polished into something unrecognizable. All the grief sanded away.

It was beautiful. But it wasn’t your grandfather.

It wasn’t messy. It didn’t stumble. It didn’t cry.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. The ache came rushing back, not loud, but raw.

Your fingers twitched. You could almost hear your grandfather’s voice:

“Feel it first, sweetheart. Then play it.”

But Jaehyun hadn’t felt it.

He had played it like it was a performance.

Not a memory.

When he finished, the crowd clapped softly. Grateful. Polite.

You didn’t move.

He looked at you again.

Longer this time.

There was something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

Not regret. Not pride.

Just… silence.

Almost like he knew he’d played it wrong.

Not technically, But emotionally.

And that was worse.

Jaehyun rose smoothly from the piano bench, his expression unreadable as he nodded once toward the crowd. No flourish, no bow…just quiet, controlled grace. He disappeared backstage before anyone could ask for an encore.

You stood frozen for a moment, chest tight, eyes burning.

How could he play it so… pristine? So distant? Like it was just another song to master, not a heart laid bare?

Your friends approached softly, sensing the storm behind your silence.

“You okay?” Joy asked gently.

You forced a smile, nodding as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air,” you said quietly.

“if you don’t see me come back, I’m gone”

They nodded, understanding.

You said your goodbyes, voice steady but your mind racing with a tangle of grief and anger.

Walking out of the room, the weight of the music pressed down on you—beautiful, but empty.

Outside, the night air hit your face.

You breathed it in.

You didn’t know when the grief would loosen its grip. But tonight… tonight it was louder than ever.

Jaehyun stepped into the night, his movements measured, almost detached. He saw you standing there, tense and tight.

He stopped a few feet away. His voice was low, clipped. “You’re angry.”

You didn’t turn. “Why do you play it like that? So perfect. So cold.”

He said nothing for a beat. Then, without looking at you, “Because that’s how it’s done.”

Your voice rose, sharp with grief and rage. “It’s not just about the music. It’s about him. About what he meant.”

Jaehyun’s jaw tightened. His eyes, dark and unreadable, flicked toward you for a moment — no warmth, no softness. “I’m not here to comfort you.”

You finally faced him, bitterness raw. “Then why’re you here?”

“Because I feel like I need to be.” His tone was flat, dismissive. “I’m not here to play for your feelings.”

You clenched your fists, pain and envy mixing in your chest. “I’m starting to hate you.”

He gave a short, humourless laugh. “Good.”

Then, without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving the cold night and your anger swirling behind him.

TWO WEEKS LATER

One of the scariest things about being a celebrity was that people always kept tabs on you. Your meals, your latest purchases, your favourite stores... even your current location.

“OMG!! I just saw Jaehyun entering Smith’s Hall… he must be practicing for a concert or something 😭😭😭” — Twitter user @yuno_wifey, 12 minutes ago

You hadn’t meant to care. But something about the way he played music rubbed you the wrong way.

Too perfect, too calculated. It didn’t sit right with you.

So here you were, standing in front of Smith’s Hall, determined to figure out the truth. Because there was no way in hell he’d had a real friendship with your grandfather. Not with the way he played.

You stepped through the massive double doors and froze. It smelled like polished wood and silence — heavy, suffocating. It didn’t feel like a space made for passion or practice. It felt like a performance prison.

The velvet chairs and glossy décor practically screamed no mistakes and no funny business.

“Grandpa would’ve hated this,” you muttered.

“He did.” The voice cut through the quiet, sharp and unmistakable.

You turned — and there he was. Jaehyun. The man claiming to be your grandfather’s friend.

He looked at you for a long moment. “How did you know I was here?”

He wasn’t surprised you were here.

Like he’d been waiting for you to show up.

How odd.

“Twitter,” you said simply.

He gave a small nod — and in true Jaehyun fashion, just turned and walked into a smaller room off to the side.

Naturally, you followed. Why? Because you needed to know. Something.

The room was small and stripped of pretense — cold, but more real than the grand hall. It suited him more than the main stage ever could.

You lingered in the doorway. “I have a question for you.”

He didn’t respond. So you asked it anyway.

“Why do you even play?”

The door closed softly behind you.

Jaehyun sat at the grand piano, back to you, fingers lightly resting on the keys, his posture infuriatingly perfect.

For weeks, ever since he played your grandfather’s piece with that cold, surgical precision, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. About the way his music felt like a fortress. And what it would mean if someone broke through.

“Let me play for you,” you said. Quiet. Steady. But your heart pounded hard.

Still, he didn’t turn. Just the faint shift of his clothes — a barely-there movement.

You stepped closer. “I want to show you how it feels. The way I feel.”

Nothing.

But you still moved towards him.

You sat beside him. The bench was cold. He was close — closer than you expected — and his cologne lingered in the air between you. You could feel his attention, even if he wouldn’t meet your eyes.

You placed your fingers on the keys. They trembled.

Then, slowly, painfully, you began to play.

It wasn’t smooth. You cracked, faltered, stumbled. But this wasn’t about perfection. It was about everything inside you that hurt and screamed and longed.

The tension in the room grew thick, electric. Jaehyun’s hands twitched. His jaw clenched.

Then, for the briefest moment, his eyes flicked toward you — sharp, unreadable. You caught it. Or maybe you imagined it.

Still, you played on. Grief. Anger. Yearning. You poured it all into the notes.

When you finally stopped, the silence was deafening.

He stood and moved behind you.

Your breath hitched.

He didn’t say a word. But as he walked away, something shifted.

Like gravity had changed. Like he’d noticed.

Like he saw you.

“Well then…”

You stood, brushing invisible dust from your jeans, the ache in your chest blooming wider now that it was quiet again. The room, dim and cold, suddenly felt too still.

You turned toward the door, ready to leave it all behind — him, the questions, the music that wouldn’t stop following you.

But then you heard it. Footsteps.

Slow. Deliberate.

You froze.

Jaehyun stepped back into the room, his expression unreadable, but his hand — his hand clutched a sheet of music, crisp and marked with notes like scars.

He didn’t speak right away. Just walked past you, calm and silent, and set the paper on the music stand.

Then he turned to you, eyes meeting yours. For once, he didn’t look through you — he looked at you.

“Play this,” he said. His voice was low, but there was something sharp beneath it. A dare. A demand.

You blinked at the sheet. It was unfamiliar — complex, full of unexpected pauses, chaotic chords, and moments of painful softness.

“Did you write this?” you asked cautiously.

His eyes didn’t flinch. “Play it. As is.”

You hesitated. “What even is this?”

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes shining with just enough vulnerability for  you believe him. “It’s how I feel.”

Your heart dropped a little.

It wasn’t just notes. It was his grief. His confusion. The storm beneath that polished surface.

You glanced at the sheet again. “No changes?”

“No changes.”

The piano waited, sleek and heavy like a secret. You sat slowly, eyes scanning the first few bars. It wasn’t easy. It wasn't pretty. It wasn’t supposed to be.

You exhaled.

Then you played.

The first few measures stuttered under your fingers, awkward and sharp. But then something shifted — the music pulled you in, unfamiliar yet familiar, like reading someone’s diary and realizing it’s written in your own handwriting.

Anger laced the rhythm. Grief haunted the rests. And in the middle of it all was longing — raw and so loud it nearly drowned you.

When you stopped, the silence hit like a wave. You didn’t dare look up.

But then Jaehyun spoke — quiet, almost gentle.

“You didn’t change a single note.”

You looked at him. His expression had softened, but barely.

“Neither did you,” you said softly.

A flicker of something passed through his eyes — pride? Sadness? Relief?

He nodded once, and this time, when he turned to leave, he paused at the door.

“Come back tomorrow.”

You didn’t answer. But he already knew you would.

THE NEXT DAY

The cramped practice room smelled faintly of old wood and cold metal. A step down from the hall — smaller, rougher — but more honest. The kind of space where truth had nowhere to hide.

The low hum of fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting long shadows on the dusty floor. You sat at the grand piano, Jaehyun’s sheet music in front of you — a different one from the night before. Your fingers hovered above the keys, eyes closed, breath held, as the final note died in the air.

Behind you, Jaehyun stood still — tall, silent, watching.

Then his voice sliced through the quiet. Smooth. Controlled. But heavy, like a cello bow drawn too tightly.

“Is that all you’ve got to give me?”

It wasn’t a question. It was a judgment.

You didn’t turn around. The words burned into your back.

“You play with no respect,” he continued. “You fumble around and play what you feel is right. Music is about structure. Discipline. Intent.”

You rose slowly, spine straightening, turning to face him. The air between you grew hotter — too close, too charged.

“And yet…” you said softly, your voice holding steel, “Beethoven was deaf.”

He blinked.

“He couldn’t hear a single note, but he composed music that made the world feel everything.”

You took a step closer, the distance shrinking. “I play by feel because music is meant to feel. It’s meant to speak the things we’re too afraid to say out loud.”

He scoffed — short, sharp, dismissive.

But you weren’t done.

“I feel sorry for you,” you whispered, your voice dipped in sorrow, not spite. “Your musicality must be like a sheet filled with long rests and pianissimo… so quiet, so careful, it forgets how to breathe.”

You turned back to the piano. Your fingers hovered, not yet touching, but longing.

“How can I play in a way that doesn’t speak to the audience?” “Music is memory. It’s future. It’s pain and love and grief — all tangled in the silence between notes.”

Your voice cracked slightly, a fracture in your otherwise defiant melody.

“We feel when the music is void. So how can I give them a pianissimo when what they need is a fortissimo?”

The air stilled. Heavy. A long silence. Four silent beats.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Then, Jaehyun’s voice struck, hard — sharp like staccato.

“You don’t decide what they need,” he snapped, eyes narrowing.

“Beethoven does. Chopin. Schumann.” “You didn’t write it. Play it as written.”

He stepped forward, shoulders tense, fists clenched.

“Your stubbornness is the reason you cannot play like you’re supposed to.”

His voice cracked — just a hairline fracture, but it was there. The first real break.

“All that bleeding,” he bit out, breathing shallow now, “makes it hard to see the notes.”

You froze.

His chest rose and fell faster. And just for a second — a sliver of time — you saw it.

His eyes glistened.

Not with anger.

But with grief.

Real. Raw. Human.

“Now sit,” he said, barely above a whisper, “and play it. As is.”

It wasn’t a shout. But it roared through the room louder than any crescendo.

And for that one fleeting moment — like a grace note buried in the melody — you saw what he’d tried so hard to bury:

He understood you. He was grieving, too. And somewhere along the way, he’d been taught that emotions had no place in the music. That only the notes mattered. Not the story. Not the ache. Not the fire building in his chest.

But you saw it now — loud and clear — A crescendo, rising. Raging. Waiting for someone to call it music.

The silence after his words lingered, draping itself over the room like one of the velvet curtains in the main hall.

Your hands clenched at your sides. The weight of his command hung heavy in your chest.

You sat down again, jaw tight. The same sheet music stared up at you — perfectly aligned notes that felt like shackles. You hated how beautiful it was. Hated how it demanded order when all you had left was chaos.

Then... you heard him move.

Soft footsteps on the old wood floor.

He didn't leave.

Jaehyun came around the bench — slowly, deliberately — and placed something on the music stand.

Another page. Another song.

His fingers lingered at the edge of the paper for a beat too long. You glanced up. He was already watching you.

Something swirling in his eyes,

Was that…desire?

What could he possibly want?

Waltz No. 2.

“Play this,” he said, low and breathless, like it had taken something out of him.

Your eyes widened just slightly. The piece was infamous. Beautiful. Torturous.

Without waiting for your response, he moved beside you and slid onto the bench — too close. The space between your bodies vanished like a held breath.

Your arm brushed his, and it was electricity — but no one flinched.

“Start with the left hand,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking any louder would break the spell. “I’ll take the right.”

The waltz began — slowly, cautiously — your fingers pressing the minor notes, his dancing on top with aching grace. The melody curled around the room, haunted and wistful, like a memory trying to return.

Your hands moved like shadows across the keys — almost touching, almost crossing.

But not yet.

You could feel him beside you. The heat radiating off his skin. The way he breathed like the music was the only thing keeping him alive.

And then...

His pinky grazed yours.

Barely a brush. But it sent a jolt through you — like the music had turned to fire.

He didn’t look at you.

He just played on, like nothing happened. But his playing changed — just slightly.

It grew heavier. Slower. Seductive. Like he was daring you to feel it too.

Your fingers stumbled for half a beat. He noticed. You knew he did.

Still, you didn’t stop.

You found the rhythm again — swaying in time with him, with the pulse of the song, with the growing storm between you.

Then his hand crossed over yours — reaching for the high notes.

His wrist brushed the back of your palm, deliberately slow. The friction seared.

And still, he didn’t look.

He didn't have to.

The air between you buzzed with the kind of tension that only silence and sound together could make. Like restraint holding back something wild.

You kept playing.

And then — he moved his hand beneath yours this time, supporting the chord as your fingers floated above his.

You felt his knuckles. Warm. Calloused. Real.

“Stop trying to outrun the song,” he said softly. “Let it catch you.”

Your breath hitched.

His hand lingered under yours, just long enough to make you forget what you were playing.

“Do you feel it now?” he asked softly, his breath tickling your ear.

You clenched your thighsand nodded, eyes still on the keys.

“I do.”

And when your pinky brushed his again — this time, you didn’t pull away.

The music slowed. Grew heavier. Every note was an inhale. Every rest, an exhale. And in the space between it all — where no sound lived — something bloomed.

Want. Restraint. Fear. Longing.

You didn’t speak.

Because the waltz said everything.

And somewhere between your fingers grazing and the swell of the final note — you realized:

Jaehyun hadn’t just come to play. He’d come to bleed, too.

Together.

You could see it clearly now.

He was caged.

He was messy.

And he was wounded.

Your hands were still resting together on the keys, breath shallow, hearts louder than the silence.

Jaehyun pulled away first — but not far.

He stood slowly, like something heavy was coming undone in him. His jaw flexed, the way it always did when he was trying to stay cold.

But he wasn’t cold anymore.

Not after that.

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” he murmured, eyes not quite meeting yours.

You didn’t answer.

He turned his back to you, fingers flexing at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them now that they weren’t hiding him anymore.

“I…” His voice caught, like he hadn’t spoken a real feeling in years. “I was taught that if you let the music feel too much… it’ll destroy you.”

Your breath hitched — barely. But he heard it.

He kept going.

“My first teacher…” He laughed, hollow and without humor. “He believed expression was filth. That it distracted from purity.”

He looked down at his hands — beautiful, scarred hands.

“I used to think he was right. That control was everything. That perfection was the only thing worth reaching for.”

“and then I met your grandfather and…”

He finally looked at you.

“he showed me what it was like to be free again.”

His eyes pooled with unshed tears.

Tears of grief.

Of guilt.

“And then I heard  you playing after his burial…it sounded so much like him. And it made me angry.”

You stiffened, but he stepped closer, slowly.

“It made me angry because I remembered.”

His voice was raw now, stripped of all polish.

“I remembered what it felt like to love a piece. To lose yourself in it. To want to scream through the keys. To want to play until your fingers bled because it was the only way to get it all out.”

He was in front of you now. His hair slightly covering his eyes, cheeks flushed and lips slightly parted.

He was close.

So fucking close your skin felt hot.

You craved him— You knew you did.

He was close enough for his voice to be a vibration in your ribcage.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Not just for the words. Not just for the coldness.

But for every time he tried to crush the thing that made you… you.

“For the first time in years,” he said, voice trembling, “I heard music again. Not notes. Not time signatures. Music.”

His hand lifted — hesitated — then brushed your cheek. Featherlight. Like he wasn’t sure he had permission to touch something so alive.

“You made me feel something I wasn’t ready for.”

A pause.

His voice dropped to almost nothing.

“And I think that terrifies me.”

The room was quiet. But not empty.

It was full of unsaid things. Of years lost. Of notes held too long and silences that finally cracked.

You could still feel the echo of the waltz between your ribs. You knew he could too.

And when his forehead rested lightly against yours — not a kiss, not yet — just the soft ache of closeness…You realized he wasn’t asking for forgiveness.

He was offering surrender.

“The way you played…It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t clean. But it… ached in all the right places. I could feel the grief in the minor shifts. The joy in the accidentals. The love in the spaces you let breathe.”

His brows furrowed, as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying aloud.

“That kind of playing—what you did—it takes more courage than anything I’ve ever learned. And I was too much of a coward to say that.”

He looked down, then up again, slowly.

“I’m sorry, not just for the things I said in that room. I’m sorry for not respecting what he taught you. For thinking that kind of music was less than.”

His voice dropped to a whisper, barely hanging in the air between you.

“I think your grandfather would’ve been proud.”

You blinked — once, twice — but the sting was there.

And Jaehyun saw it.

He didn’t move closer this time. He let the silence settle, let your heart catch up.

But then, when your gaze didn’t waver… he did.

He reached out, carefully, fingers ghosting over yours on the piano — like he was asking to join your world, not take it.

And when your pinkies brushed — barely there, but electric — his voice came again.

“I don’t want to be the reason your music hesitates.”

Another beat.

“I want to learn how to feel again.”

His voice cracked like an old string pulled too tight.

“And if you’ll let me… I want to learn from you.”

You stared at him — this man made of marble and bruised melody — and for the first time, you saw the boy beneath the training.

The man who never got to cry when the music begged him to.

You took his fully in yours and gave a tight reassuring squeeze

“Okay”

LESSONS: FEELING IN MUSIC

Week One - Touch

He sat beside you stiffly, spine straight, jaw locked. His eyes kept flicking down to his hands like they were foreign to him. You watched the tension crawl across his shoulders — the way his fingers hovered just above the keys, twitching, uncertain. Like pressing a note might make something inside him snap.

“Don’t think,” you whispered. “Just play.”

His breath hitched. He glanced at you, wide-eyed — like he wanted to believe you, but didn’t know how.

“I don’t know how to not think.”

You placed your hand over his. His entire body stilled. Your touch was soft — but it landed like lightning. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, hard.

“Then stop trying to get it right. Start trying to feel it.”

You guided his hand down, gently. His fingers pressed the chord, trembling slightly beneath yours.

“You’re trembling,” you said softly.

He didn’t meet your eyes.

“I’m not used to this,” he breathed, voice rough.

You tilted your head.

“To being… touched like this.”

There it was — vulnerability cracked open on his face. His brows drew in, lashes fluttering once before he looked at you with an expression that sat somewhere between awe and fear.

You smiled gently. Too gently.

“Like what?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

“Like you want me to unravel.”

Week Two - Language of the Hands

You stood behind him now, your presence warm against his back. Your fingers rested lightly on his shoulders — grounding, not gripping. And still — he flinched. Shoulders tensed. Breath caught.

“Relax.”

“I can’t,” he said, barely above a whisper.

His voice trembled — not from fear, but restraint. Like he knew that if he let go even an inch, everything would spill.

So you let your hands drift downward. Slowly. Deliberately. Over his arms. Over every ridge of muscle that tightened beneath your fingers. He inhaled sharply through his nose — a quiet sound, but telling.

Then you leaned in, your lips barely grazing the shell of his ear.

“You don’t have to earn softness. Just accept it.”

He shuddered. Not from cold. From you.

His eyes squeezed shut, expression flickering into something raw.

“You do that on purpose,” he muttered, jaw clenched.

“What?”

He turned just enough for you to see his face in profile — the flush creeping up his neck, the storm in his eyes.

“Say things like that. Touch me like that. And then act like you didn’t just ruin me.”

 Week Three - Eye Contact

You were across the room demonstrating something — posture, maybe. Dynamics. You weren’t even playing anything difficult.

But when you glanced back—

He wasn’t watching your hands.

His eyes were locked on your mouth. His lips parted, slightly, like the sight alone had undone him.

“What?”

He blinked. Slow. Like he hadn’t even realized he’d been caught.

And then — a faint, knowing smirk.

“You teach like you kiss.”

You froze mid-gesture. The corner of your mouth twitched upward in disbelief.

“Excuse me?”

His gaze dropped to your mouth again — deliberately.

“With intention,” he said. “But like you don’t even realize it’s seductive.”

You dropped a chord. He chuckled — low, amused, infatuated.

 Month Two - Composition and Confession

He handed you the sheet. His fingers brushed yours, and you felt the heat from his skin even after he pulled away. You skimmed the notes. Your brows lifted.

“You wrote this?” you asked, tone soft.

He nodded once, but didn’t speak.

“It sounds… alive.”

Still, silence.

You looked up.

He was already looking at you — not nervous, but exposed. Like he was waiting for you to see him between the lines.

“Did you write it thinking of something?” you asked.

His throat moved. He clenched his jaw before answering.

“Someone.”

You blinked.

Then carefully, you pressed your fingers to the keys. The melody bloomed into the air — vulnerable, tender, aching.

And when you glanced up mid-phrase — he was watching you with his whole chest open. Eyes wide. Hands in his lap. Breathing shallow.

“Is this how you see me?”

His voice broke when he answered.

“No,” he said. “That’s how you make me feel.”

Month Three — Practicing in the Dark

The room was quiet — save for the faint hum of city noise outside and the distant ticking of the wall clock. The glow from the lamp painted the walls in soft gold. Shadows flickered like breath.

Your knees brushed. Neither of you moved.

He leaned forward to turn the page, and your hands collided.

He didn’t pull away.

“You ruin me a little more every time you touch the keys.”

You turned your head slowly.

He was already watching you.

His eyes were shadowed, not just by the low lamplight, but by something deeper. Something breaking. Something baring its teeth and begging.

“I want to know what your music would sound like,” he murmured, voice frayed at the edges, “if you played it for me. Just me. Like I was your secret.”

Your breath stilled in your throat.

You tried to speak, but all you managed was a dry whisper. “Why?”

He leaned closer

So close his words trembled against your lips like a prayer he was too afraid to finish.

“Because I think…” He swallowed. “I think I’d finally understand how love sounds.”

You blinked. “W-what?”

He didn’t laugh. Didn’t smirk. Just looked at you like he was standing on the edge of something high and holy.

“I want you,” he said, and it wasn’t a confession… it was a surrender.

“Not just the way you play. Not just the way you look at me when I finally get it right.”

His voice cracked and he didn’t try to hide it.

“I want every version of you. Every messy, brilliant, soft, cruel, breathtaking part.”

He looked down, like the words were too heavy to carry while meeting your eyes.

Then, barely above a whisper

“Please…” His hand hovered near yours, not touching. “Use me however you want. Ruin me. Teach me. Just… need me. Like I need you.”

You stared at him, stunned.

The air between you was thick… like if you moved too fast, you’d tear straight through the tension and unravel both of you.

Exposing you and how you really felt about him.

He’d said it.

Not just the words, but everything underneath them.

The need.

 The ache.

The silent confession he’d been wearing like a second skin since the first time you touched his hand on the keys.

And you couldn’t look away.

His eyes were still cast down, like he regretted giving himself away. Like he was bracing for rejection.

you couldn’t let him sit in that.

Not when you felt it too.

Even if it meant he was going to find about the times you climaxed thinking of how his fingers would feel inside you.

How he would feel inside you.

You couldn’t just sit and watch him like this…

Not when you’d been pretending it was just practice when your hands lingered too long, when your voice dipped low, when your eyes met his and stayed there.

You stood slowly.

His gaze flicked up — hopeful, hesitant.

You walked to the piano, heart hammering, then looked over your shoulder.

“Come here,” you whispered desperately

He didn’t move at first, just stared like he didn’t trust what he heard.

“I want to show you,” you said again, quieter this time. “How you make me feel.”

That made him rise…slow, reverent — like he was walking toward a chapel instead of a girl who made his hands shake just by speaking.

You turned away from him, not because you were unsure — but because you felt everything too much. His gaze. His nearness. The promise you were about to make with no sheet music in front of you.

You slid onto the top of the piano, legs crossed delicately at the ankles, dress slipping up as you shifted — not indecent, not bold — but intentional. A silent statement: look at me. really look.

Your hands trembled slightly as they came to rest on your lap.

You still didn’t look at him.

Couldn’t.

The air was molasses — thick, slow, heavy with things unsaid.

You heard the way his breath hitched.

“Why can’t you look at me?” he asked, voice rough and strained, like he knew what was about to happen.

“Because if I do,” you whispered, “I’ll forget how to speak in music. And that’s the only language I’m brave in right now.”

A pause.

Then his steps, soft, but as he came closer you realize they were also sure.

You felt his fingers brush your ankle. Just a ghost of a touch. Reverent. Worshipful.

Your breath stuttered.

“Then play,” he murmured, eyes now level with yours, “and let me hear what you can’t say, baby.”

And you did.

Not with the piano.

But with the way your knees parted — just enough for him to step into the space that had always belonged to him.

The way your trembling fingers found his chest — the place where sound lived when he didn’t know how to speak.

A composition of silence.

A symphony of skin and want and reverence.

And when your eyes met his — wide, glassy, burning with something too big for language — he looked at you like a man who had just found God in a song he never knew he needed.

Slowly, your hand reached for his.

Guided it.

Brought it to the place where your heart was beating the loudest…not in your chest, but between your hips.

“Feel it,” you breathed, voice breaking. “Feel what you do to me.”

His fingers trembled.

So did yours.

“I don’t just want you, Jae.” Your voice cracked like a confession in a church pew. “I crave you.”

You blinked, and tears clung to your lashes.

Because you’d never said anything more honest in your life.

He leaned in closer as his fingers circled your clothed clit painfully slow

He didn’t take his eyes away from your face…not even when you started to move your hips in a way to give you more pleasure.

It was like he wanted this specific version of you permanently painted in the forefront and back of his mind.

Eyes memorizing every curve, scar and feature of your face.

The way our lips parted as you let out short gasps and whines

The quiet “Please” that left you mouth more than once

And he definitely didn’t look away when you took his other scarred hand and kissed his scars.

His eyes widened a fraction…like he wanted to see all of you before you disappeared

Poor thing…

You weren’t going anywhere…not anymore

You were done running.

You saw the moment his eyes flicked to something more darker

Sinister almost…

You swirled your tongue around his finger painting it with your saliva

Your licked right down to the web of his fingers before you flattened your tongue licking all the way back up to his finger tip.

You  rubbed his finger all over you lips and chin.

He quickly grabbed your chin hooking his wet index under and pressing his thumb against your bottom lip

Forcing you to really look at him

“You’re playing a very dangerous fucking chord Y/n”  his voice ripped from his chest

Brutish

animalistic

His breath ghosted your lips — close enough to taste, far enough to ache.

You could feel the war in him. The pull. The restraint. The part of him that wanted to devour you... and the part that refused to touch what he didn’t think he deserved.

So you leaned in first.

Not a kiss.

Just a brush.

Your nose to his. Your lips barely grazing — just enough to feel how soft his were.

Is it possible to be addicted to something you never had?

He exhaled like you’d punched the air out of him. A shaky, broken sound.

“Don’t,” he begged, voice wrecked. “Don’t kiss me unless you mean it.”

You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes — and God, he looked destroyed. Brows drawn. Lips parted. Eyes glassy, like he was holding back an ocean.

You wanted to drown in it.

“I do,” you whispered. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

And then you kissed him.

Fully.

Softly.

Like you weren’t afraid of his edges.

His hand shot to your waist — not possessive, just desperate — as if he needed to hold you there or he’d fall. His other hand cradled the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair like it was instinct.

He kissed you like a secret he’d kept his whole life.

Like he was scared you’d disappear if he opened his eyes.

You felt it in every tremble of his mouth,

Every exhale into your skin Every barely-there whimper he didn’t mean to make.

And when he finally pulled back, breathless, lips swollen and pink from the pressure, his forehead dropped to yours again.

Eyes still closed.

“You feel like music,” he rasped. “And I’ve been deaf my whole damn life.”

Desperate. Consuming. Worshipful.

He kissed like the hunger had been building for weeks and this was his first taste of relief. Except… it wasn’t relief. It was ignition. A match to every unspoken need that had ever passed between you.

You felt it in your spine.

The fire.

Like a burning Symphony

The kiss wasn’t perfect. It was too open, too wet, too full of gasped breaths and shaken moans. But God, it was real.

“You don’t get it, do you?”

You blinked, dazed, flushed. “What?”

His eyes were shining — not with tears, but with something deeper. A soul cracked open.

“You’ve already ruined me for anything and anyone else.”

He choked on his breath. One hand gripped your waist. The other cradled your jaw like it was the only thing tethering him to earth.

“And I let you in. I wanted you to fucking wreck me…Because for the first time in my life, breaking doesn’t feel like the end.”

You inhaled sharply, heart pounding like a warning you were ready to ignore.

“It feels like becoming.”

Your mouth parted — a whimper barely forming.

He leaned closer.

“So let me become yours.” “Let me fall apart in your hands, and I swear—” “I’ll spend the rest of my life learning how to make you feel wanted.”

His lips brushed yours again, softer this time. Torturous.

“Say yes,” he whispered. “Say yes, and I’ll worship every inch of you like you’re the only thing that’s ever saved me.”

Yes.

But you didn’t just want to say it

You wanted to scream it

To breathe it

To become it

You wanted him to wreck you. To pull you apart and break you into pieces

You wanted him to use you as the ink to write his new piece.

You wanted him to touch you like you were fragile, then love you like you’d be the easiest thing to break again.

You didn’t want his tenderness...not now

You wanted truth.

All of it.

His hands. His mouth. His heart. His need

You wanted him to transform you.

Your hands trembled as they slid down his chest, fisting in the fabric of his  shirt like you

Could anchor yourself to the heat of him.

“Please…” Your voice craked

Not for fear.

From need

“Please don’t hold back.”

He stilled.

Brows drawn tight. Jaw clenched so hard you hear the pressure an building crescendo in his silence. His eyes searched yours, as if he was waiting for some signal- some final permission to let go of the restraint that chained him.

You leaned in, lips brushing the shell of his ear, and whispered like a vow

“I want you to ruin me.”

His breath hitched

A gasp disguised as a growl.

“I want you to use me. However you need, however you ache to.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him

“I don’t want soft.”

“I don’t want careful.”

A tear spilled over, warm and desperate as it slipped down your cheek.

“I want to feel everything you’ve been holding back.”

Your hands guided his to your waist.

“I want to feel how much you’ve wanted me.”

“I want you to lose yourself in me.”

You exhaled, trembling.

“Please…let me be the thing that unravels you.”

That undid him.

Because that was the truth wasn’t it?

You wanted the storm inside him. The part he tried to cage. The part that wanted to leave bruises in the shape of worship.

“Touch me like I’m the only thing that’s ever made you feel alive.”

You watched his pupils blow wide—lust, reverence, wreckage.

And then, in a voice that sounded more like a promise than a plea:

“Break me, Jae.”

In a flash he pushed to you down to lay you flat on top of the piano.

Feet still dangling at the end…with him standing in between

In slow torturous movements he lowered his body and knelt between your legs