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All Good Girls Go To Hell
pairing;Â jeon wonwoo x f reader
genre;Â smut, angst, toxic, dark romance
content warnings;Â lucifer!wonwoo, morally gray (possibly black)!wonwoo, hell, souls sold/taken, mentions/descriptions of torture (including skinning), kidnapping, being sold/traded
smut warnings; fingering, thigh riding, oral (f recieving), begging, pet names
w/c;Â 3.5k (halloween special drabble)
summary;Â My Lucifer is lonely... Waking up somewhere you don't recognize, you find yourself with a man who claims he owns you now.
song inspo;Â all good girls go to hell - billie elish
a/n;Â thank you sweet @sluttyminghao for betaing! I love you. I hope you guys have had a wonderful Halloween! I hope you enjoy a very morally gray Wonwoo. For more drabbles and more subscribe to my Patreon.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
The bed feels differentâsofter?Â
Sighing under your breath, you stretch on the mattress until a whine slips from between your lips. Had your bed always been this comfortable?Â
No. It must be how well you slept. That happens sometimes. You wake up after a particularly good nightâs rest and everything feels better. The sheets start to feel like satin under your bare skin. The mattress hugs you like a cloud, urging you to reach for your fiancĂ© and curl yourself into his side. Only when you slide your hand along the sheets but that's all you feel. Ben got up before you and didnât even say goodbye.Â
Typical.Â
Rolling towards the middle of the bed, you smile to yourself, feeling the sheets caress your lower back. God, it feels nice just to lie here. It feels nice to not rush yourself out of bed and back into another meaningless workday. Thereâs no telling how long you have before your alarm will go off⊠would it be so bad to just drift back off for a while?Â
Another sigh leaves your lips and your brows furrow. How long had you drifted back off for? Your mouth feels like cotton and your stomach is beginning to complain for food. Reaching once more across the bed in search of Ben, your lips turn down. Â
Things havenât been perfect for you and your fiancĂ©, but you do your best to make him happy. With that in mind, you finally pry your eyes open and whisper his name, only for the word to die on your lips as you notice where you areâwhere are you?Â
The sheets undercovering your body arenât your own. This bed isnât yours. This bedroom isnât yours. Panic begins to rush through you as you sit up in the bed and tug the sheet up to your chest, realizing you were feeling the sheets on your skin because youâre naked. Where are your clothes?Â
âBen?â Your voice echoes around the room and a feeling of dread settles in your chest. Looking around the room and towards the nightstand, your heart thumps loudly in your chest when you realize not only are you somewhere else but your phone isnât next to you. In the place of your phone, you find a single red rose as if it were left for you to discover.Â
Tears prick at your eyes even as you force yourself to tug the sheet from the bed and wrap it around you in an attempt to cover yourself. How could something like this happen? You rack your brain trying to remember the night before.Â
Ben had to work late. You were upset with him, but you still made him dinner, promising to heat it up for him once he came home. You remember opening a bottle of wine. Was that the problem? You rarely drink but one glass of wine wouldnât knock you out so heavily someone could come in and steal you straight from your bed. You couldnât have been so drunk youâd sleep through someone taking you from your house, stripping you, and putting you in this bed.Â
The tears sit on the rim of your eyes until you blink, causing them to spill over and run down your cheeks. You are trying to force yourself to thinkâto figure out what to do once you make it to the large black door across the room from youâwhen a knock sends a shiver down your spine.Â
âY/N? Are you awake?âÂ
Who is that? The voice is smooth and deep. Itâs unfamiliar and yet he knows your name. Shaking your head, you scold yourself for caring if he knows your name. Of course your kidnapper would know your name. Is that what happened? You were kidnapped?Â
Or is this something else? Have you finally snapped? Was the pressure of everything too much and now this is a delusion? Is the person behind that door a doctor? That could happen. Your fragile mind finally broke and this is a bougie hospital that your parents placed you in.Â
Then againâwhy would they? It has been years since you spoke to your parents. You have separated yourself from their lives and sworn to become a better person. You had found a new home and a church where you felt comfortable. That was where you met Ben. You had fallen in love so quickly that you made yourself overlook all of your fiancĂ©'s questionable habits. You wereâare going to get married in a year in the church that at first offered you safety and stability.Â
âI know youâre awake. Iâm going to open the door.âÂ
Taking a few steps back towards the bed, you feel your heart in your throat at the idea of whoever is on the other side of that door opening it. You only have a sheet to cover your body and you still have no idea who they are or where you are, but you only get a few seconds of panic before the door does open and a tall man steps through it.Â
His eyes find you immediately and your breath gets caught in your throat. You had hoped for half a second that youâd know who it was. Maybe it was Ben forcing his voice lower, but that was a stupid wish because this man sounds nothing like Ben. Like his voice, his eyes are deepâso brown they almost seem black. You swallow hard and take another step back as he takes one towards you, letting the door shut behind him.Â
âI know youâre confused.âÂ
That is an understatement.Â
Whining under your breath, you stop walking backward when your butt knocks into the nightstand, causing the lamp to fall over behind you. âWhâwhere am I?â Even your voice sounds different. It sounds strained and laced with fear. You swallow hard, trying to make more saliva to coat your overly dry tongue in hopes of sounding less small. âWho are you?â
The man smiles at you but it isnât a normal polite smile. His lips form more of a smirk than a smile as he pushes his hand into the pocket of his black dress pants as he smooths his black button-down over his stomach. âYou can call me Wonwoo.âÂ
That was one answer and yet not the one you desired more. Your eyes follow Wonwoo as he turns his eyes from you to glance around the room, his feet moving a few steps towards you until he sighs patiently. âAs I said, you must be confused.âÂ
âVery. Tell me where I am. Whyâdidâdid you kidnap me?âÂ
Smooth, Y/N. Like the kidnapper would just tell you if he did it. Cursing yourself under your breath, you hold the sheet tighter around your chest as you meet Wonwooâs eyes once again. His laugh triggers a chill up your spine that has your skin erupting with chill bumps. He shakes his head and lifts the hand from his stomach to his head as he scratches his eyebrow, seeming to think carefully on his next words.Â
âNo, Darling. I simply collected what was mine.âÂ
Your pulse begins to beat loudly in your ears as your blood runs cold. Heat licks behind your eyes as you force yourself not to close them even as the world seems to spin in front of you. âWhâwhat? I wanna go homeâŠâ You arenât sure the words are spoken aloud. Finally closing your eyes, you whine at the sick feeling building in your stomach and rising up your throat as fear rips through your soul.Â
Watching you start to sway, Wonwoo tilts his head and takes another step towards you. Humans are weak. There is no denying that. It doesnât take much to see you are on the verge of passing out. There is sweat gathering on your temples and your skin has begun to take on an unnatural color when finally your legs give out. A rush of emotions pushes through Wonwoo as he closes the space between you and him just in time to sweep you from your unsteady legs and into his arms.Â
You are so fragile. A mixture of intrigue and disgust worms its way through Wonwooâs body before he turns to place you back on the bed, readjusting the black satin sheet around you so you are covered. The very act seems foreign to him. He has never attempted to protect anyone's modesty before and yet as he looks down on you now as your breathing begins to settle, Wonwoo finds himself not only keeping you covered but also pushing your hair back from your face.Â
Itâs just so he can look at you. At least thatâs what he tells himself as his fingers stroke along your cheekbone down to your parted lips. The color has started to return to you; your lips, while cracked from dehydration, are the right color again.Â
Settling onto the bed next to you, Wonwoo studies you silently. His eyes moving along every bit of you that is exposed to him. You are beautifulâso stunning that it makes him uncomfortable. Humans shouldnât look like you. When God created all thingsâhumans includedâhe attempted and failed at creating perfection with Adam and Eve. Their flaws⊠the free will that they were permitted left them scarred inside and outâbut not you. If Wonwoo didnât know better, if he couldnât literally see your soul clinging to your body, he would think you were an angel like him.Â
Fingers trail along your shoulder, causing you to sigh happily at the contact. It was a dream. Ben is home and you have been home this entire time. Turning towards the touch, your lips turn up in a small smile at the brush of soft lips against your neck.
âMmm, I had such a weird dream.â Your smile pulls at your lips as the kisses walk the length of your neck to your jaw. The breath against your skin causes chill bumps to spread in anticipation.Â
âTell me about itâŠâ The voice isnât what you expected yet it keeps you calm as you lift your hand, running your fingers through soft hair.Â
âI was taken.â Gasping into your words, you arch your back when teeth nip at your sensitive skin. âMmm, taken to hell. I was there for weeks. I lost track of time.âÂ
A soft hum of understanding from the lips now brushing over the shell of your lips has you gripping at the hair under your fingers. You could open your eyes but something tells you to wait. This feels too good. âYeah⊠There was a man. He watches me butâŠâ Your voice lowers as the memories come back to you and you know who is kissing you. You should hate it. He took you from your home. He took you from your fiancĂ©. He took you from Ben but he hasnât told you why beyond saying he took what was his.Â
âWonwooâŠâ You whisper on a soft gasp, feeling his lips pull up in a smirk. Â
âYes, little angel. Keep telling me about this dream. Was it a bad dream?âÂ
Tears press behind your eyes as you keep them shut tightly, your hand starting to loosen in Wonwooâs hair only for his hand to rest over yours, tightening your fingers once again. Using your hand, he tugs on his hair hard enough to make you wince before you arch against him, feeling his thigh press between your legs.Â
âItââ You struggle to find your words, feeling not only confused but also aroused when you roll your hips over the hard thigh resting against your bare cunt. âMm, I donât know. Iâmâplease? I want to go home.âÂ
Your words say one thing but your body another as Wonwoo traces your jaw up to your ear with his tongue. He had done so well for weeks. He had barely touched you but he had waited long enough. âHome? Darling, you are home.â Hearing you whine his name, tears rolling down to his lips now at the corner of yours, Wonwoo rocks his thigh against you and hums in appreciation. âDo you want me to tell you the truth? You want me to break your little heart?âÂ
When you donât answer with more than new tears for him to lick from your skin, Wonwoo growls low under his breath. You are stubborn and infuriating in ways he has never dealt with. Others pray to him. Some pray with hate in their hearts, others with devotionâyet you give him your sorrow. You pray for what youâve lost. What you think was taken from you.Â
âIâll break your heart. Iâll watch it shatter and then, sweet little one⊠I will bind it to me.â Leaning back to look down at you, Wonwoo narrows his eyes as you keep your eyes shut tightly. âLook at me when Iâm speaking to you, Y/N. Open your eyes and face the truth you so desperately wantâŠâÂ
Forcing your eyes open, you blink through your tears to meet Wonwooâs eyes. You know you should try to push him away. His words already make you feel like you want to dieâbut arenât you dead already? You are in hell. That much you know to be true. Youâve been here for so long now that you canât keep lying to yourself about that much. As for Wonwoo⊠youâve figured him out too. The name Wonwoo is there to make you feel better about the situation, if that were even possible; the man, the being looming over you now, heâs not human. Heâs something youâre terrified to even name in your own head because you know who he is.Â
Watching you closely, Wonwoo hums under his breath, once again sliding his hand along your head so carefully that when you flinch, it causes his brows to furrow in pain. He deserves this reaction from you, but he also deserves the way your hips move over his thigh chasing pleasure as if you are trying to distract yourself from what truth he is going to ruin your life with. Moving his eyes along your body, Wonwoo tilts his head and slides one of his hands over the sheet loosely draped over your waist, watching the silk slide from your skin as he speaks low and calm. âHe sold you, Y/N. He had a choice and this is what he chose. The man you pretend to yearn for. Your precious fiancĂ©. He wanted more than he could afford, yet instead of offering his own body and soul as payment, he gave me you.âÂ
Meeting your eyes, Wonwoo gauges your reaction before continuing as realization settles in your eyes. âHe never loved you. He loved what you gave him. A doting woman who would look past all his sins as you prayed for them for him. Do you think my father heard your prayers, darling?â Shaking his head, Wonwoo sighs resolutely as he traces your belly button, feeling you suck in your stomach under his touch. âNo, sweet girl. He doesnât listen, but I do. So when Ben asked for too much, I came and I took.âÂ
The painful truth sends an ache through your body before resting over your heart. Closing your eyes as if you can make it go away, you stop moving completely and lift your hands to your face. You hope that Wonwoo will leave. You hope that he will let you suffer here in silence, but that doesnât happen.Â
Lips press to the back of your hands before he gently pulls them away and wipes your tears from your cheeks as he whispers close to your cheek. âI should have killed him instead, but humans, especially selfish ones like your fiancĂ©, only learn through true pain. He will live out the rest of his years with the price in the forefront of his mind. He will think of you when he wakes up. He will dream of you. He will never find peace and when he dies, little angel, he will suffer at my hands further.â Wonwooâs words should hurt you more, but instead you find yourself listening to each one as the pain in your heart shifts into something else.Â
âI will tear his miserable skin from his body every single day for eternity. He will beg me to stop and to let him rest but there is no rest for the wicked, not even in hell. Every single moment he will feel the flames lick at his exposed muscles and tendons, only for the price he paid to remain in the forefront of his mind.â Smirking at his own words, Wonwoo laughs darkly as your eyes meet his once again and this time he sees understanding in them. âYes, darling, he will think of you even in death. I will fuck you over his body, never letting him touch you. Iâll let him hear you scream my name in pleasure as pain overwhelms him.âÂ
The idea of Wonwooâs plans for Ben should frighten you and perhaps deep down they do, but you feel a flutter in your chestâexcitement. âPromise me.âÂ
Your voice is so quiet that Wonwoo furrows his brows in confusion before you repeat the same words louder this time. The demand goes straight to his cock before he rocks his hips towards you, feeling your wet pussy against his pants as you start to soak through the fabric. âI promise. Iâll give you anything you ask for.â The moment the words are out of his mouth, Wonwoo laughs as you start to speak, only for him to cut you off. âExcept give you up and let you leave. You are mine, Y/N. I donât abandon things that belong to me, especially something like you.âÂ
The finality in Wonwooâs tone causes your heart and mind to race. Thoughts flood your mind along with pleasure when he rolls his hips towards yours once again. This is the first time heâs touched you like this in the many weeks since he took you. He watched you every single day. Heâd sit by your bed and attempt to soothe you, but he never took from youâuntil now. But is that what he is doing?Â
Pleasure jolts through you as his fingers slide to your hips, pulling your hips down over his thigh. This isn't taking; this is giving. More than you could ever say for Benâfor the man who sold you for his benefit. Lifting your hips into Wonwooâs hands, you whine his name and relish in the feeling of your clit grazing the fabric covering his muscular thigh. You realize that you want this, perhaps more than you could have ever anticipated, but the look in Wonwooâs eyes tells you his patience had been running thin. With one more content sigh slipping from your lips, he begins to take.Â
Wonwooâs kiss burns with his intensity. His hands dig into your hips as he lifts you from his thigh and fingers trail between your legs. With a growling breath, Wonwoo breaks the kiss to meet your eyes as his fingers slide between your wet lips and over your already throbbing clit. âYou are mine. Thisââ He emphasizes his words with a pinch to your clit before his fingers slide to your waiting entrance, where he eases two fingers into you. âIs mine.âÂ
Your hands flail for a moment as pain mixes with your pleasure as Wonwooâs fingers begin to stretch you. One of your hands finds Wonwooâs wrist as the other grips the bedding under you in an attempt to ground yourself. He doesnât wait for you to adjust; instead, Wonwoo curls his fingers inside of you and traces a circle over your clit, enjoying the feeling of your pussy tightening.Â
Soft moans slip from between your lips only to be swallowed by Wonwoo as his tongue slides along yours. Even as you try to lift your hips, attempting to chase your pleasure, he easily pushes you back down on the bed, fucking you hard and fast on his fingers. You want more. You need more, but all of that fades to the background as your walls begin to clench down on his fingers and your orgasm rips through you like a tidal wave.Â
A dark chuckle tickles your skin as Wonwooâs lips work from your lips to your breasts. His eyes flick up to yours and for a brief moment they are completely black. Any trace of white around his dark irises seems to have been swallowed until he blinks and the color returns.Â
âWonwooââÂ
âShh, little angel. Iâm not done with you. You owe me so, so, so much more.âÂ
You start to speak, to form some retort to his claiming words, but then his lips find your clit even as his eyes stay fixed on you. Teeth tip at your soft skin and the throbbing bundle of nerves before he laughs again, leaning back enough to lick your cum from his lips and speak. âBeg me like a good girl to fuck him out of your mind. Your soul is mine, Y/N; now let me have the rest of youâŠâÂ
Sobbing in pleasure, you buck your hips towards Wonwooâs waiting mouth, feeling his smile against your skin as you do just that. Numerous pleas leave your lips as you feel your mind, body, and soul latch on to the man, the devil between your legs binding you to him forever.Â
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Just Better
pairing; lee chan x f reader
genre;Â angst, smut, toxic, fluff
content warnings; toxic relationship, mild abuse, yelling, crying, depression, eating/drinking, smoking, jealousy, possessiveness, uncomfortable smut
smut warnings; protected sex, unprotected sex, oral (f & male giving/receiving), fingering, impact play, pussy spanking, dom!chan, sub!reader, rough sex, dirty talk/praise, big dick!chan, as always if there are things i missed let me know
w/c;Â 26k with Patreon bonus
summary; You have been friends with Lee Chan since you were in the second grade. He shouldn't be in love with you, but he is. He shouldn't be jealous of your boyfriend, but god... he isâespecially when he knows he could be better.
song inspo; just better - a.c.e
a/n;Â thank you june for proofreading! i love you so much! i hope you guys enjoy this one and i do apologize for the delay in posting.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
âYour coffee, darlinâ.Â
You roll your eyes before taking the coffee cup out of Chanâs hand. He was always being sweet to you, especially when it was just the two of you. You had big plans to stay in the house all day and rot away until he showed up and drove you both downtown. Now you had one of the overly sweet coffees you liked. He knew everything you liked, down to the fact you preferred oat milk in your coffee instead of regular milk. Lee Chan was a special person and you had just been lucky enough to end up with him in your life.Â
âThank you, honey.âÂ
Chan is the one rolling his eyes now. He knew you were teasing him, but he meant every name he called youâdarlinâ, sweetheart, honey⊠None of them could match how he felt about you and how much you lit up his life. You deserved someone being nice to you and calling you pretty names that, even if they couldnât match your beauty, would put a smile on your face. His eyes follow your hand as you bring the coffee up to your lips and take a sip, letting a smile spread across your pretty face. He might not get the cold coffee or like the taste of all that chocolate you liked in your drinks but heâd do anything to make you smile like that.Â
âDonât let it rot your teeth out your head. They put about five pumps of that chocolate shit into it.âÂ
You laugh, and Chan feels his chest tighten. This was a good day. The sun was out, the wind was moving through the trees, and you were with him. He couldnât ask for anything betterâwell, he could, but thatâd make him be as selfish as he felt when he was around you.Â
âJust how I like it. Want a sip?â Tilting the drink towards Chan, you watch his nose wrinkle before he leans to take a sip and then makes a face like he has something sour on his tongue. âYou are such a baby. Whatâd you get anyhow? Coffee just black and boiling?âÂ
Lifting his cup, Chan grins at you before he takes a sip of just that. It was strong and he could feel it go down his throat and warm his chest. âMmhm, like a real man.â You laugh again following it with a groan, the smile that was on Chanâs face softens into something fond. You two could be picking at each other for just about anything and all youâd have to do is look at him and heâd fall on his knees for you.Â
Of course you didnât know that. You just saw Lee Chan as your best friend. Heâd met you on the playground when the two of you were in second grade. You had fallen off a swing and cut your knee. Chan had been the first person there. He had wiped away the big fat tears on your cheeks before running to find a teacher before coming back to you and telling you itâd all be okay. You still had that scar. Every time youâd wear shorts, like today, Chan couldnât help but let his eyes move down to it. That scar marked the moment he fell in love with you but just like that 7-year-old boy, he still couldnât tell you. Instead, heâd watched you grow up beside him and hated every man youâd ever dated, but none of them he hated more than the one you had now.Â
Sighing to the sound of your ringtone, you pout at the idea of being interrupted but seeing Ianâs name on the caller ID has you sitting up and a big smile on your face. You hadnât been dating Ian Carrington for too long, just about six months, but he felt like the one. You donât see how Chanâs smile fades to a scowl when you put the phone to your ear and answer it, so pleased to hear from your boyfriend. âHi, baby!âÂ
Chan looks down at the coffee in his hands as he listens to your voice change. It wasnât necessarily that you were trying to be someone different with Ian; it was more that he brought something else out of you. He made you feel like you had to be perfect when that was impossible for anyone. It didnât matter if, in Chanâs eyes, you were the closest thing to perfection; Ian still made you feel like you had to be better.Â
âYes! Really? Iâd love to see you.â A soft, flirty giggle slips past your lips as you lean your head towards your shoulder. Ian still had you in the schoolgirl-in-love phase. He was one of the most handsome guys you had ever seen and there was a layer of unattainability to him that you were breaking through piece by piece. âI miss you too, babe.â Glancing up at Chan, you give him an apologetic look, seeing him stare at his coffee. From the beginning of your relationship with Ian, you had made it clear that you still needed to have time for your best friend. That hadnât really changed, but Ian did seem to have horrible timing. âNow? Ian, Iâm out with ChannieâŠâÂ
Keeping his scoff to himself, Chan lifts his coffee to his lips, taking a long sip as he listens to your voice drop in volume. All he can think to himself is, here we go again. It may be lost on you that Ian didnât like your friendship with him, but your boyfriend had made it very clear to him. It wasnât like Ian didnât already know where you were. You had no doubt texted him at the very least, and yet he was going out of his way to ruin a perfect day. Any other time heâd leave you sitting in your apartment bored and missing him, but the moment that Chan stepped up, suddenly Ian was the perfect attentive boyfriend.Â
âBaby doll, I left work early for you. Now, donât you wanna come see me? Spend a little time with your boyfriend? You can see Chan any day of the week. You know Iâm busy, babyâŠâ You start to speak and Ian sighs softly, speaking over you. ââCourse if you wanna stay out instead of coming to see me, I canât make you do something you donât want. It was wrong of me to call you while youâre out. Tell Chan Iâm sorry and you two have a good day. Iâll try to see you tomorrow.âÂ
Meeting Chanâs curious eyes, you shift in your chair a bit uncomfortably before whining Ianâs name. You hated the idea that you might not get to see him today and the way he was talking, tomorrow seemed like it might not happen either. âNo⊠No, baby. I canâIâll be over in like twenty minutes, okay? Iâm excited to see you.âÂ
It was past noon but Chan rarely got up before 2 pm. There were few things that would make him get his ass moving, but you were one of them. You were pretending to be okay. You were always doing thatâChan could tell when it wasnât the case. There was a slight whine to your voice, like you had been crying⊠again. âWhat happened, sweetheart?âÂ
Closing your eyes tight, you hold the phone closer to your ear. How did he always know? Ian never knew. You could be outright crying and Ian would be oblivious. That wasnât his fault. You were on the phone; how could he really tell? Thatâs what you kept telling yourself and yet your best friend caught on instantly. âNoânothing... Iâm fine, Chan. What are you up to?âÂ
You hadnât looked at the time before calling him. If it were anyone else, thatâd annoy Chan, but it was you. He had worked the night before and been asleep for about five hoursâthatâd be enough. âNothing, just sittinâ here. What happened, Y/N? I know you arenât fine. Youâve been cryinâ. Did that assholeââÂ
âChannie! No⊠no, he didnât do anything. Justââ Tears were on your cheeks again. You were trying to keep yourself calm but it was hard to do when you felt like shit. âWe made plans and then one of his friends called.âÂ
To anyone else that might sound silly; however, Chan knew what it meant. You two had made plans, maybe a date or something, and then either he didnât show up or he left ten minutes into it because one of his stupid friends called wanting him to hang out with them instead. This shit was always happening. It was easier than telling the weather, knowing if Ian was going to break your heart or not. âWant me to come over? I can pick up some Chinese and rot on the couch.âÂ
You felt bad putting this on Chan as often as you did. You were still dressed up, ready to spend the day with your boyfriend but instead you were crying on the phone with your friend. âThat sounds nice. If you arenât busy. Iââ As if something comes to your mind, just then you gasp and whine, causing Chan to sit up a bit before you continue. âYou worked last night! Oh my god! Go back to sleep. Iâm so stupid. Iâm sorry, Channie!âÂ
Sighing to himself, Chan tugs his jeans up his legs, balancing the phone between his cheek and shoulder. âStop it, darlinâ. If I get tired again, I can nap at your place. You ainât stupid. Donât ever call yourself that. Iâd kill someone for saying that to you. Smartest gal I know.âÂ
You pout to yourself, wiping the tears from your cheek as you listen to Chan moving around his place. You knew he wasnât kidding. He had gotten into more fights than you could count while the two of you were in school. All it took was someone to look at you wrong or say the wrong thing and theyâd get Chanâs face in theirs. He was just protective, like you were his sister or something. âIâm not. Be careful drivinâ. Love you.âÂ
Chan knew how much Ian hated to hear you tell Chan you loved him. You hadnât even said it to him as far as Chan knew. The thought makes a smile pull at his lips as he pulls his keys from the hook, shoving them into his jacket pocket. âLove you too. Be there soon.âÂ
You had been telling Lee Chan you loved him since the second grade and that wasnât going to change. That fact was a big reason that you and Ian fought. He had told you that he loved you around the third date, but you hadnât been sure then. You thought you knew now but the words always got caught in your throat. You probably just needed to be a bit braver.Â
It didnât take Chan long to drive to your place. He had made this drive hundreds of times and every single time, but especially lately, he felt his stomach get all tight with nerves. You were more special than you even knew. You were the type of girl to look in the mirror and think she had every single thing wrong with her, but Chan saw you for who you really wereâthe most beautiful girl that was ever born. He could see that you were made of everything that was good in the world, even if you thought you were plain and selfish.Â
Using his spare key to your apartment, Chan lets himself in and sighs softly as he kicks off his shoes in the entryway. This was just as much home for him as his own place was. He could remember falling asleep on your couch or in your bed multiple times after a long study session when you both were still trying the college thing. He remembered waking up to the smell of food and you singing along with some pop song on the radio as you swayed in front of the stove cooking. Chan had more good memories in this apartment, but he also had bad ones. Bad was seeing Ian show up and knowing he had to leave. Bad happened as soon as you started dating that moron that you seemed to be head over heels with. None of that could compare to walking into your apartment and seeing you curled up on the couch with tears drying on your cheeks.Â
âDarlinâ...â The word slips off Chanâs lips like a breath as he moves across the room, only stopping to drop off the carryout in his hand before he kneels at your couch. Delicately wiping the tears from under your eyes, trying to control his face. The moment you look at him, youâd know he was upset. Chan had a hard time hiding those sorts of expressions. His brows would furrow deeply, just like his lips would turn down in a disapproving frown. âCome here. Let me sit with ya.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, you try to push down your emotions but that look on Chanâs face breaks you again. You sit up and he slips onto the seat you were lying on before pulling you against his chest. You know you shouldnât rely on him so heavily but it was difficult to say no to your rock. Chan was your constant and right now he was keeping you from sinking even as you sobbed softly in his arms. âIâm so stupid.âÂ
Chan shakes his head and tugs you tighter to him when you start to blame yourself for your situation. You didnât make yourself cry by treating yourself like you werenât worth the timeâno, that was Ian Carringtonâs doing. âNo, you ainât. I already told you youâre the smartest and prettiest girl I know. Want me to kill him? Iâll do it.âÂ
His words make you laugh, but you donât even realize how serious Chan is. Of course he wouldnât actually kill someone, but kicking his ass into the next century? That was something he could and would do for you.Â
âDonât be silly.â Sighing into your words, you shift against Chan to get more comfortable. You were still sad but it never failed that youâd brighten up even a fraction when you were around your best friend. âHe promised to make it up to me so I know he will.âÂ
âSureâŠâ Chan wanted to tell you that maybe you were being a bit stupid, but those words never left his mouth. Instead, he tightens his arm around you and stares at the table in front of him. Ian was always making it up to you, but that didnât mean that Chan believed it. âEnough of him, I got you sesame chicken. Eat somethinâ.âÂ
He watches as you perk up slightly and move back to sitting beside him instead of against him. You were cute as you carefully opened the bags holding the food, setting each container out like you always would. Chan finds himself wondering if your boyfriend took care of you like this. Did he come when you were crying? Did he bring you all your favorite foods and snacks? Maybe he did, but to Chan this was something only he could do.Â
Squealing under your breath when you open the crab rangoon, you look over your shoulder to meet Chanâs eyes, seeing the smile pulling at his lips. âYouâre spoiling me.âÂ
He was. That had been the intention. Chan knew he could have gotten you the bare minimum and youâd still feel the same, but after hearing you crying on the phone, he had gotten all your favorites. Leaning forward, he opens the last dish, his own but even it makes you shuffle your feet out of excitement. âNow donât think youâre stealing my food. Iâll share with you if you share with me.âÂ
You knew that Chan was teasing you, but even as you open your chopsticks and take a piece of meat from his plate, he smiles at you. Speaking carefully around the food in your mouth, you furrow your brows and lean to push your shoulder against his playfully. âYou always say that, but then you get something I like.âÂ
Picking up the other set of chopsticks, Chan looks down at them as he breaks them apart to hide the slight flush he was feeling on his cheeks. You were right. He could pick just about anything, but it felt better to get something youâd share with him. He could be plenty happy just watching you enjoy your food; however, there was something special about knowing just the right things to get to make you happy. âYeah, whatever. Just wanna make sure you eat well.âÂ
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you eat. At some point you turn the TV back on and hit play on the latest series that you and Chan had been watching together. Nothing needs to be said until you are the first to break the silence, glancing over at Chan as he rests his hand over his stomach. âIâhey. Did you ever call Chuu back? She was texting me butââÂ
âNah. Iâll text her later and apologize.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you put your chopsticks down next to the plastic container before pulling your legs under you so you can rest back on the couch. âDid the date not go like you wanted it to? She seemed to really like you.â You werenât exaggerating. In the past two days you had gotten a dozen texts from your co-worker Chuu asking if Chan was ignoring her. This wasnât the first time you had tried to set him up with someone only to watch it go nowhere.Â
Chan shrugs into a sigh, his eyes moving to you then quickly back to the TV. He knew he had a few unread texts from your friend but he didnât want to lead anyone on. âYeah, I mean, sure. The date was alright. Just got dinner at Charlieâs and I took her home.âÂ
Now you looked disappointed as you nodded along with Chanâs words. Sighing once again, he shifts next to you and runs his fingers through his hair. âShe justâI donât know. Sheâs not my type. Sheâs a sweet girl, donât get me wrong. I just donât think Iâm ready to date like that. Iâm not interested in somethinâ serious like they seem to think I am.âÂ
The disappointed look on your face had turned sour. You looked like you didnât believe him now, like you were reading his mind. âI donât think Chuu was lookinâ for anything too serious neither, Channie. I just wantâlisten to me, okay? You are always alone or stuck with me.â When Chan doesnât say anything right away, his face only scrunching up like heâs tasted something thatâs gone bad, you slide to your knees and reach for his hand like you are going to tug him along with you. âWe should go out this weekend. I can be your wingwoman, and we can look for someone whoâs more your type.âÂ
Saturday rolled around too quickly for Chanâs liking. It wasnât just that he knew what your plan was with this trip to the bar, but that Ian was coming along. He had been looking forward to tonight for days, and the moment he learned about Ianâs insistence to tag along, the night was ruined. Chan knew he could have told you that he didnât want your boyfriend there, but how would that go over? So instead, Chan tugged at his jacket as he looked in the mirror, deeming himself dressed. He didnât have high hopes for the evening.Â
You, on the other hand, were over the moon. Not only were you on a mission to get Chan a date but now Ian was actually making time for you. Leaning against your dresser, you close one eye, carefully applying your eyeliner as you listen to Ian from the other room. He had shown up about an hour early but again you werenât complaining. Getting time with him lately was like pulling teeth. You knew that your boyfriend was a popular guy. He had tons of friends and he enjoyed his job, but sometimes you wished heâd pick you over a night out with work friends or whatever it was he did.Â
âYou listening to me, baby?â Huffing into his words, Ian leans against the door frame to your bedroom as he watches you. You were gorgeous and tonight it seemed like you were putting in some extra effort. He was doing his best to tell him that was because of him. âThat dress is pretty. It new?âÂ
You smile at Ian from your mirror and shift your weight to your other leg as you repeat the process on your other eye. âYeah, I got it yesterday after work. You really like it?âÂ
How could he not? It was tight in all the right places and had his mind wandering as his eyes moved over your pretty legs. âYeah, I like it. Itâs a little tight.â Ian sees your smile fade slightly, but you still manage to seem unaffected by his words. âIâm just sayinâ that maybe itâs not a dress for tonight. I mean, this is about trying to find a chick for Chan, right? Why you gotta get all dolled up for him?âÂ
You hated when Ian did that. When he acted like there was something between you and Chan. He was jealous of your best friend and it upset you. âNoâI⊠Iâm dressed up for you, babe. I wanna look pretty for you. âSides, I donât really wanna go out looking shabby.â Pouting as you put the cap back on your eyeliner, you avoid Ianâs eyes as you whine into your words. âYou want me to change?âÂ
God, he couldnât stand when you were whining. You did it more often than his liking. At first it was cute, but the moment he said one thing that didnât go in the way you wanted it to, you were whining and crying. You did a good job at making him feel like the bad guy when it wasnât really his fault he had a life outside of you. Shaking his head, Ian moves to stand behind you, sliding his hands along your waist to pull you back against him. âCourse not. You do look pretty, baby. You look too pretty, but thatâs alright. Wear what you want.âÂ
You smile, feeling Ianâs lips against your neck, his fingers kneading into your stomach as he takes a deep breath of your perfume. Times like this you felt like a million bucks. Sure, he could make you sad, but then heâd spend time with you like this and all that sadness would fade away. ââKay. Thank you.âÂ
Humming softly against your soft skin, Ian hides how he rolls his eyes at your response. You were spoiled and it had to be his fault. Forever his bratty little baby. âMm, anything for you, doll.â Moving back from you a bit, Ian lets his eyes move over your face in the mirror and down to your chest, where your breasts were being held up and tight by your dress, giving you mouthwatering cleavage. He should enjoy it and maybe he would if he were the one going to see it. âMaybe wear a jacket, though. Your tits are out.âÂ
It doesnât surprise Chan when you and Ian show up later than planned. He had already been sitting at the bar nursing a whiskey for around half an hour before he heard your voice call his name. He isnât able to hide his smile when you carefully move between people to make your way over to him. Chan simply sighs and opens one arm for you, letting you hug him from the side as he feels Ianâs eyes linger on you both a bit too fiercely.Â
âAny luck yet?âÂ
Ianâs voice seems bored when he speaks to Chan, drawing his attention away from you and up to him as he takes a seat one stool away from him. At least he had left a stool for you, but the way he pulled you away from him told Chan everything he needed to know. Ian was in a mood and he wasnât tolerating Chan tonight. How you didnât seem to be affected by his attitude was a mystery, but Chan forces himself to smile as he shakes his head. âNah. Ainât been here too long.âÂ
Forcing himself not to roll his eyes, Ian offers Chan a tight smile instead as you sit between the two of them shrugging your jacket off. It was hot in the bar but the idea of you with all that skin showing causes the smile on Ianâs face to fall into a tight line. Though he doesnât say anything, it seems his eyes on you are enough to have you tugging your dress up on your chest.Â
Chan lets himself get a good look at you and you take his breath away. You were always stunning but he had never seen you in this dress. It was perfect on you even as you fought with the deep cut of the neck that displayed your breasts so well. If this was anyone else and a different time, youâd have him on his knees for you begging for a single chanceâbut life wasnât fair, and he could feel Ianâs judging eyes.Â
âBaby, letâs go dance.âÂ
Already slipping out of his chair, Ian reaches for your hand as you whine. You two had just got there and you were on a mission. âIâyeah, okay. Channie, come with us?âÂ
Chan didnât need to see the look on Ianâs face to have him turning you down. It hurt to see that smile fade from your lips but Chan is quick to cover his own disappointment as he gestures around the bar. âChecking out prospects. You go have fun, sweetheart.âÂ
You glance around the bar, seeing the few pretty girls that Chan had to be referencing, before biting at your bottom lip. This was what you wanted, so why did it make your stomach hurt? âAlright. Good luck!âÂ
Watching Ian guide you into the middle of the small dance floor, Chan watches your smile brighten as you start to dance. He should look away and give you and Ian privacy, but instead he brings his drink to his lips and sips to cover his sigh.Â
âSheâs pretty. That guy steal your girl?âÂ
The womanâs voice is sultry as she slides onto the stool that had just been yours. Glancing to his left, Chan gives her a quick once-over before shaking his head to answer her question. âNah. Nothinâ like that.â The woman was pretty. She was wearing a tight red dress that left little to the imagination. Her long black hair was shiny and it looked soft, but Chan feels that pit in his stomach getting larger as he even considers her.Â
He had intrigued her. He was one of, if not the most, attractive guys in the bar tonight and he had his eyes on some girl dancing with an equally hot man. Yet he was telling her that the girl he had his eyes fixed on wasnât his. Maybe he wanted her to be, or maybe he just needed someone to help him forget. âI see. Iâm Gabriela.â Offering him her hand, Gabriela smiles brightly, enjoying the moment that Chan finally looks at her, turning on his stool away from the girl he couldnât have.Â
âChan.â Despite the pit in his stomach, Chan remembers the reason you had begged him to come out tonight. He had hoped for one thing, you and him alone to just enjoy another night out, but had gotten another as Ian kissed at your neck for everyone to see. Keeping his eyes on Gabriela, Chan swallows hard and gives in to whatâs easy. âWhat you drinkinâ, gorgeous?âÂ
Other girls were easy. Flirting was as easy as breathing on the surface; it was how he felt on the inside that made this unbearable for Chan. And yet it was working on Gabriela. She was batting her lashes and moving her hair over her shoulder to let Chan get a good look at her exposed skin. He could easily look away, but his mind was fighting him. Glancing out towards the dance floor, Chanâs chest tightens when he sees your arms around Ianâs neck as his hands slide down over your ass. That was enough to make Chan feel sick so he grins at Gabriela and lifts his hand for the bartender, ready to order her a drink.Â
Smirking to himself, Ian glances from Chan at the bar down to you. âHeâs doing just fine. I donât know what you were worried about.âÂ
Your eyes quickly move to Chan and over the girl sitting next to him as he slides a cocktail towards her fingers. You should be happy. This was what you wanted to happen. You wanted Chan to come out and find a pretty girl to take out, but this girl looked like a viper wrapped in red spandex. You felt your chest tighten as she ran her red nails over his hand and leaned her head back to laugh at something Chan had said. âOh⊠yeah, heâsâ sheâsââÂ
Ian sighs as he leans his head back, turning you slightly on the dance floor so that your attention is back on him. âPerfect for him. Just slutty enough, right?âÂ
You hated when Ian talked like that, and that wasnât the type of girl you pictured your best friend with. Then again, you hadnât really pictured him with anyone. You wanted to, but it never seemed easy. There was always just you and Chan no one else⊠Glancing up at Ian, you put a smile on your lips but you donât nod or shake your head to tell him that heâs right or wrong. You instead let him tighten his grip on your hip as you tilt your head, meeting his eyes, trying to ignore what you had caused at the bar.Â
âSecurity?â Tilting her head, Gabriela grins at Chan as he nods. âLike a cop? Are you gonna arrest me?âÂ
Sighing into a strained laugh, Chan shakes his head this time. âUh no, no, not like a cop. Just security. IââÂ
âSo like a mall cop then?âÂ
God, this girl was irritating. The only good things about her were how pretty she was and that she smelled nice. Chan had no intention of this going anywhere with how she was acting. âSure, like a mall cop. If thatâs what you wanna call it.âÂ
Sipping at her cosmo, Gabriela smirks around the straw, seeing the irritation in Chanâs smile. Maybe she was pushing too hard, but she had come out to get laid and she was convinced that Chan was going to be the guy she left with. âThatâs cute. Do you have cuffs?âÂ
Chan tries to hide his scoff, but he doesnât do it well enough as he watches Gabrielaâs smirk stay in place. She was pushing his buttons on purpose and this wasnât really Chanâs idea of foreplay. âNo. Even if I did, I wouldnât put them on you.âÂ
âWhy not? You wouldnât wanna play cops and robbers with me, Chan?â Gabriela had always been bold. She went after what she wanted and right now that was Chan. Catching the buttons of his jacket sleeve under her nails, Gabriela bites her bottom lip, feeling Chanâs eyes move over her, landing on her cherry red lips. âI think it could be fun. Isnât that why you came out tonight? To have some fun?âÂ
Using his free hand, Chan pushes his hair from near his eyes and sighs in disbelief at how shameless Gabriela is. He didnât fault her. He didnât want to judge her, but was he really the guy she wanted to play this on? Just as Chan starts to turn her down, his eyes once again find the dance floor and he sees you with your back against Ianâs chest as you sway to the music. Did you even remember you had asked Chan to come out with you? Did you even care? âYeah, maybe I did.âÂ
Feeling eyes on you, you meet Chanâs eyes from the bar just as he turns his attention back to the pretty girl with her hand now resting on his thigh. You felt like you were feeding him to the dogs. This girl had her claws in his skin and you were watching him get eaten alive. You start to move away from Ian to go towards the bar when your boyfriend pulls you back against him and laughs against your ear.Â
âLeave him be. Anyone can see they are about to dip out of here. Thatâs what you wanted, wasnât it?âÂ
âI like your place.âÂ
Sighing as he leans towards the fridge to take out two beers, Chan forces himself to smile as he acknowledges Gabriela and what she had said. âThanks. It ainât much, but itâll do.â Chan rarely let girls come back to his place, but this was better than going to hers. When Chan was inside some random girlâs space, he felt vulnerable. That felt like he could lead to more than he was willing to give. In his own space he could control the narrative and keep his power.Â
âItâs very you.âÂ
As if this chick knew who Chan was, but instead of voicing that out loud, he just grinned and offered her the beer. He wasnât looking for this to last longer than it needed to. âThat so, gorgeous?â Trying to enjoy the moment and the release heâd be getting, Chan sits down on his couch and guides Gabriela down to sit next to him. She was soft, but no matter how much he looked at her, Chan only saw you.Â
âMmhm. God⊠You are so fuckinâ hot. How are you even on the market?â Gabriela had opened her beer and taken one sip before Chan had called her gorgeous again. The question was real and yet rhetorical. She wasnât sure she wanted to know. She had seen how Chan had been looking at you, and if she thought too much about it, she might lose her confidence. âYou seem like youâve got a lot on your mind, Chan. Want me to help you with that?âÂ
Chan laughs, the sound getting caught in his throat as Gabriela puts her drink down with his and slides over his thighs. She was warm under his hands as Chan let her guide them over her sides and higher to her breasts. âI might have a couple things on my mind. How you gonna help me?â He knew the answer, but that was part of the game, wasnât it? He could see how Gabrielaâs smirk grew wider at the question, and now it was just a matter of time before he could shut off his feelings and just enjoy the moment.Â
âOh, I got plans for you, Channie.âÂ
Furrowing his brows at the pet name, Chan shakes his head, sliding his hands back down to Gabrielaâs waist. âDonât call me that. Stick to ChanâŠâ He could see how her face fell, but she was a woman on a mission, so it only lasted for a moment before she was right back to business. Chan closes his eyes the moment that Gabrielaâs lips brush against his. He didnât like kissing his hookups, but tonight it didnât feel too bad.Â
âTouch me.âÂ
He nods in response to her request, sliding his hands back along her body and to her back. Catching the zipper of her dress between his fingers, Chan groans when Gabriela rocks her hips down over his. God, he hated how easily he had gotten turned on tonight. It wasnât even that he had a pretty girl in his lap; it was that he had closed his eyes and pictured you in her place.Â
Every soft moan from her lips, Chan imagined it coming from you. The soft skin under his hands as he helped her out of her dressâthat was your skin. It felt wrong, but then he had carried her to bed and kept the light off. In the darkness he could only feel her and that let his imagination carry him further.Â
âOh, fuckââ Gabriela whines under her breath as she feels Chanâs fingers scissoring into her, his other hand pulling a condom from the nightstand. She wished she could see him a bit better, that maybe he had even left the door to his bedroom open, but instead even when she whined his name, Chan would shush her. Whatever, she could stay quiet. She could let herself enjoy this.Â
With one stroke of his hand to make sure the condom was in place, Chan buries his face against Gabrielaâs neck and eases himself into her warmth. Would you feel like this? Would you be softer? Wetter? Tighter? God, the thought of it alone has him burying himself in her as deep as possible. What would you be doing now? Were you getting fucked by Ian? Why would Chan even think about that? It was ruining his moodâso he fucked Gabriela harder, listening to her sob his name, asking for more.Â
Everything meshes togetherâGabrielaâs orgasm and Chanâs frustration as he has to force himself to finish, but in the end he ends up with her resting against his chest, both of them catching their breath.Â
âHoly shit, that was incredible.â Gabriela wasnât sure what she had expected, but Chan had exceeded it times ten. She had gone out looking to get laid, and she had ended up with more. Fuck, she loved the feeling of this manâs hands on her and how tender he had been with her until he fucked her like a man who was starved. âDo you wantââÂ
âI donât do repeats.âÂ
Gabrielaâs words get caught in her throat when Chan interrupts her with that. His hand wasnât on her hip anymore; he was sitting up and turning on the light, picking up a pack of cigarettes and putting one between his lips. âWhat? What does that mean?â
Inhaling the smoke, Chan lets it sit on his chest for a few seconds before he turns his head away from Gabriela to blow it away from her. âExactly what it sounds like.âÂ
Sitting up quickly, Gabriela stares at Chan before scoffing. He had to be kidding. She had been with assholes before but Chan didnât seem like one. This seemed like he was putting on an act and yet his eyes were cold now when he looked at her. âAre you really this much of a dick?âÂ
Chan shrugs and licks his lips as he leans to flick the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray on his nightstand. âYeah, but it was good, wasnât it?â He knew what Gabrielaâs reaction would be and it was exactly what he wanted. He wanted her to be pissed off at him. He didnât want her to stick around and try to get more than he could give her. Leaning out of her way, Chan sighs out smoke before resting the rest of the cigarette in the tray, watching Gabriela get dressed quickly as she curses under her breath. âIâll order you a ride.âÂ
âFuck you.âÂ
He knew he deserved that. He knew exactly what he was doing even if it made him feel worse about himself and the situation. âFair, but you said you lived on the other side of town; itâs the least I can do. Donât take some shady taxi.âÂ
Like he actually cared. Gabriela sees red for a moment, her palm meeting Chanâs cheek before she turns towards the door, opening it with enough force to cause the doorknob to leave a place in the drywall. âWorst lay of my fucking life!âÂ
Chan knew that Gabriela was full of shit. She had enjoyed it; he had made sure of that, but he let her say whatever she wanted to as he tugged his sweatpants on and followed her out into the living room as she struggled with her shoes. âCourse, but Iâm still ordering you a ride so calm your ass down for a minute.â Â
Crossing her arms tightly over her chest, Gabriela feels tears biting at her eyes, but she forces them to stay back. How was this guy treating her like this? One minute she felt like a common slut for him to use and toss out, and then he was being halfway decent, ordering her a ride home. Was this another act? What the fuck was his problem? âWhat did I do wrong?âÂ
You had drunk more than you should have. Your mind was floaty like a dandelion in the wind and you were having to let Ian help you with everything. First it had been just to walk and now it was your shoes as you leaned against the wall at the first door. âThanksâŠâÂ
Ian laughs under his breath at how pitiful you sound, his fingers carefully tugging at the strap around your ankles in order to free your feet from the heels. âNo problem, doll. You canât hold your liquor. I told you that when you ordered another drinkâŠâÂ
He wasnât wrong. He had told you that, and you should have listened, but you felt sad before, and you had hoped the alcohol would fix it. It hadnât. âI know.â Sighing softly, you lean back against Ian as he guides you through the living room and towards your bedroom. âDo you think Channieââ You arenât even sure what you are asking, so you stop speaking and pout instead, causing Ian to roll his eyes.Â
âChannie, what? That he got laid? Yeah, baby, I do. But why the fuck do you care?âÂ
It was clear that you had annoyed Ian but that hadnât been your intention. âI donât know. Iâm sorry. Please donât be mad at me.âÂ
You were whining again, and while it still annoyed Ian, he couldnât stay mad at you for too long. You were too cute and now he did have you all to himself. âItâs fine. Stop pouting at me. Hey, Y/NâŠâ Making sure you are looking at him, Ian runs his thumb along your bottom lip and tilts his head as you smile against his finger. âThere you go. My pretty baby. This is better than being at the bar, isnât it? Just me and you, like youâve been wanting, right?âÂ
It was what you had wanted. You had been so upset when he had cancelled on you earlier in the week, but this was making up for it. You were so tired, the alcohol clouding your brain, but it felt nice to be in his arms. âMmhm. I love being with you.âÂ
What Ian was hearing was that you loved him and thatâs all that mattered. You werenât whining over Chan anymore or the cancelled date; you were just putty in his hands. Carefully tugging your dress up on your hips, Ian grins at you when you stumble against him near your bed. âMy clumsy girl. Iâve been thinking âbout this all night. You know that? How bad you drove me insane wearing this slutty little dress out in public.âÂ
You didnât know, but your cheeks were on fire now at the idea of it. Was it a slutty dress? You hadnât meant to look that way. You had just wanted to be pretty, but maybe that was what Ian had meant. âYou like my dress?âÂ
âI like it plenty. Just donât think itâs a dress you should be wearing out anymore.â Watching you fall backwards onto the bed, Ian knows he should just put you to bed and call it a night. You had drunk too much. You were obviously not in your right mind, yet you were talking to him. âCome here, baby. Cuddle with me.âÂ
Sighing happily, you let Ian pull you against him as he lies down next to you. This was nice. You had missed this. You had missed him and how good he smelled. You were so tired. The warmth of being in his arms and the alcohol in your system were doing a great job at putting you to sleep. But then you felt Ianâs lips at your throat, you felt his hand sliding along your thighs, and you couldnât stop the way your brows furrowed. ââM tired, Ian. Not tonightâŠâÂ
Now his brows were furrowing. You had been teasing him all fucking night and now you were saying not tonight? Groaning against your skin, Ian pulls you back against him, letting you feel his cock hard in his jeans. âBut, babyââÂ
You push his hand from your thigh as you whine his name. You donât see the anger that passes over Ianâs face before he lies back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. âThen sleep.âÂ
And you did. You slept hard, but it was restless. You were still in your tight dress. You could feel Ianâs warmth radiating towards you and it made you feel uncomfortable. When the first bits of daylight peek through the curtains, you already feel like wanting to die. Youâve barely opened your eyes when you grimaced at the feeling of the layer of sweat covering your skin. Glancing behind you, Ian sleeps soundly, his arm over his eyes as he snores softly. He doesnât seem to stir from his sleep until you slide off the bed and whine about how uncomfortable you are.Â
âShh⊠Too fuckinâ early.âÂ
It was too early to be awake after the night you had. Bracing yourself on the wall, you muffle your whimper, feeling your head ache. Your eyes felt like sandpaper and your mouth was all cotton. It takes you longer than it should to stumble into the bathroom before you fall to your knees on the white tile, heaving hard over the toilet. You were feeling your regret wash over you.Â
Making your way back to the bedroom, you whine under your breath as you tug the zipper of your dress down and kick the garment from your legs as soon as it reaches your feet. You donât feel Ianâs eyes moving over your body as he lies in bed, his head resting on his arm. You only feel the pain behind your eyes and the churning in your stomach as you work to release your body from the rest of the uncomfortable clothes in search of new ones.Â
âCome here, doll.âÂ
Your brows furrow as you do finally meet Ianâs eyes, seeing the look in them. He was much more awake than you were and clearly feeling better. All you wanted to do was pull on your softest shirt and a fresh pair of panties, but his fingers draw you closer to the bed. Letting him guide you down on it, you let out a soft sigh, hoping he just wants to hold you. His fingers trace your curves, causing you to shiver as the air moves over your body.Â
âYou are so pretty. You know that?âÂ
You donât feel it right now, so you shake your head in disagreement, hearing him tsk at you. His fingers move further down your stomach to the middle of your legs, where you close your thighs a bit tighter. âI feel like shitââÂ
âSeriously? I took you out last night. I let you be the one who got shitfaced, and I got turned down then. You are seriously gonna do it again? Way to make me feel like an asshole, Y/N.âÂ
A frown fixes itself on your lips as you force yourself to meet Ianâs eyes. He was right. You had done all of those things. You hadnât done it on purpose, but you had turned him down. You wanted to continue to turn him down now, but the disappointed look in your eyes made you consider how valuable his time was to you. ââM sorry, Ian. Youâwe can. You can touch me.âÂ
Shaking his head, Ian slides his hand from you. You see the look in his eye, like the feeling of your skin is offending him. Turning on your side, you whine his name only to watch him lean his head back to escape your fingers. âIâwhat ifâŠâ Your voice trails off as you move on the bed to your knees, looking over Ianâs body. It felt weak⊠forced, as you run your fingers over his thigh towards the top of his jeans, feeling him start to harden under your hand. âI can just take care of you if thatâs what you want, baby.âÂ
Ian hides his smirk as he considers your proposition. He would be lying to himself if he hadnât wanted this to be the way his morning went, but he wasnât going to say that to you. Instead, he lifts his hips and nods down at his jeans to let you get started. He could feel your hands trembling slightly as you worked the zipper down and then the denim to his thighs. âFuck, I canât say no to youâŠâÂ
The moan in his voice fills you with a bit of confidence. You were doing good again. You had messed up, but now Ian was happy again. Did you want to go down on him this morning? Absolutely not, but what you wanted even less was to be alone. You could picture him getting upset one more time and walking out the door. That wouldnât happen if you did this.Â
Taking his hard cock into your hand, you shift on your knees to lean over his hips, tracing the tip of it with your warm tongue. The sound that reaches your ears causes your lips to pull up in a bit of a smile. It still wasnât that you wanted to do this. It wasnât that you were getting off on it. It was that you knew how to keep him with you. You knew how to keep the loneliness from eating you to death today.Â
Ian groans your name loudly when you take him into your mouth fully. He can almost feel your throat closing around the head of his cock when you swallow. You were good at this. If there was nothing else you knew how to do, at least you could suck cock. Lifting his hips towards your mouth, Ian runs his fingers through your hair before forcing your head down over him. He was already getting close. It had been a couple days since he had fucked you and this was just what the doctor ordered. âJust like that. Fuckâfuck!âÂ
Cum fills your mouth after a few moments of working your mouth over Ianâs cock. You always hated the taste of cum, but one glance up to your boyfriend had you forcing yourself to swallow the salty release.Â
âShit⊠I love watching you do that. You donât miss a single fucking drop of it. So hungry for it, huh?âÂ
You just nod, unable to find your words. You hoped that now maybe Ian would take care of you. Heâd want you enough to touch you, but all he offers you is a quick kiss followed by a sigh.Â
âI know you like the taste of my cum, but I donât, baby.â Turning his face from you, Ian yawns loudly as he lifts his hips, tugging his jeans and boxers back up. âI gotta get going anyway. I promised Wooyoung weâd hang out today before he goes to work.âÂ
The pit in your stomach continues to grow. Darkness and cold fill it as you force yourself to smile and nod at him. âOh⊠Oh, okay? I justâwe arenât gonna hang out today?âÂ
Shrugging as if you should know his answer, Ian slides off your bed and uses the mirror at your vanity to fix his hair. He signs into his words, boredom leaking through like venom. âWe hung out yesterday, doll. Donât be selfish. You know I have to give my friends some time with me too. I canât stay in here all the damn time.âÂ
You sit up, pulling your knees towards your stomach as tears threaten to spill over the rims of your eyes. âRight. No, I know, Ian. I justâŠâ Sniffing back your tears, you feel your bottom lip start to quiver as loneliness bites at your skin. âJust miss you is all and we only went out to the club, really. We didnât really spendââÂ
âBabe, are you crying?â Groaning out another sigh, Ian turns back to you, moving to his knee at the side of your bed and running his fingers over your head. âStop it. You know you want some time to yourself anyhow. Donât make me feel like shit over this. I do everything for you.âÂ
You want to remind him of how little he actually does, but the moment he meets your eyes, you crumble. Tears drip down your cheeks only to be wiped away by Ianâs thumbs as he waits for you to agree with him. Forcing one last smile, you try to keep the tears out of your voice, but it doesnât work as your voice shakes. âIâyeah. No, I know⊠You take care of me.âÂ
Nodding along with your words, Ian leans forward to tilt your head back so he can brush his lips over yours. âAlways will. Get some rest, doll. Iâll text you later.âÂ
Three fucking days since you had really spoken to Chan and he was going insane. Of course you still text him and there had been a call or two over the past thirty-six hours, but they hadnât been anything of substance.Â
Something was wrong and he was going to figure out what it was. His first thoughts landed on Ian and all Chan could see was red. If that motherfucker had done something to you⊠Chan couldnât even let the words pass through his mind without gritting his teeth so hard he thought they might shatter from the pressure.Â
Relaxing his jaw, Chan tightens his hands on the steering wheel instead as he waits for the traffic light to change. He hadnât told you he was coming over. Perhaps that was a mistake, but how was he supposed to go for so long without seeing you or really hearing you? It was like taking the air out of his lungs and expecting him to thrive. It was impossible. He had spent almost every single day of over a decade with you within arms reach and this was the first time you had ever gone silent in a way that felt endless.Â
He let out a relieved sigh as he pulled into a parking space near your placeâIan wasnât there. Or at least his car wasnât and that was enough to keep Chanâs hopes up. As long as your so-called perfect boyfriend wasnât in his way, he could get to the bottom of this. He could get you back.Â
Jogging up the steps, Chan tugs his keys from his jacket and instinctively finds your key. This was muscle memory for him. Not even knocking, Chan pushes your door open and kicks his boots from his feet next to the spot yours sat. He dropped his keys into the bowl with yours and furrowed his brows, letting out a breath when he heard the sounds of something playing on the TV in the living room. âDarlinâ?âÂ
You hadnât expected company. There were only two people who had a key to your apartment and your stomach was twisting with a mixture of anxiety and relief at the sound of the door opening and closing. Ian had been distant with you for the past few days. You didnât understand what you could have done wrong. You had given him what he wanted the last night he stayed with you and now he was giving you the cold shoulder, just stating he needed space.Â
Would you really want to see him right now? Could you handle it?
The sound of Chanâs voice instantly makes your chest tighten. You felt horrible about being so distant with him. You knew that he was concerned about you, but you had gotten so tired of being the needy friend. There wasnât a day that went by that you didnât have something to complain about, and while it seemed that Chan could and would be there for you no matter what⊠the guilt was eating you. Were you just using his friendship to make you feel better? How the fuck was that fair to him? Chan was the most amazing person you knew and he deserved the world, not his best friend being a constant burden.Â
Meeting his eyes as he moves into the living room, you try to smile at him but your resolve breaks. Tears fill the rims of your eyes and you instantly bury your face into your blanket that had been wrapped around you so tightly to keep you warm and hidden. Arms wrap around you and you feel Chanâs warm breath against the side of your head as he doesnât say anything. He just sits in the moment with you. The anxiety seems to come off him in waves the longer you stay silent in your tears.Â
âIââ You start and then stop, managing to look up and meet your best friendâs eyes. His eyes were so warm and full of love when he looked at you that it was suffocating. He makes no attempt to rush you; instead, his thumbs push the tears from your cheeks as he gives you endless time. âIâm sorry.âÂ
You didnât have a single fucking thing to apologize for, but Chan understood what you meant. He could read you as well as his favorite book. He had been here a hundred times, his fingers in your hair as he soothed you. This was like flipping through that book and finding his favorite parts that he had dog-eared so that heâd never lose them. âShh⊠Talk to me, sweetheart. Whatâs goinâ on? Where you been?âÂ
Leaning against Chan, you let yourself give in to your selfishness, enveloping yourself in his warmth and familiarity. âNothing. Itâs stupid. IâI donât know why Iâm like this.â That didnât seem like the full truth, but Chan didnât want to push you. He had you right back where he wanted you. The last thing heâd do right now is scare you away by forcing you to tell him the truth.Â
âNothinâ wrong with you.â Chanâs words make you scoff, but a smile does pull at your lips, causing him to mimic it. ââM serious. Youâre perfect like you are. My favorite person.âÂ
You swallow hard at that. He was your favorite person too and yet again you felt so completely selfish that it almost swallowed you whole. You didnât deserve him like this. He could be out living his lifeâthe idea of that makes you remember the girl that he had left the club with a few nights ago and you shift against him, a frown taking the place of your smile. âYeah⊠Uh, didâhow wasâŠâ You trail off, finding Chan focused so fully on you as you try to find your words. It felt wrong to pry into his life, but if he was talking about himself, then he wasnât asking about you.Â
âDid you have fun with that girl?â You see the confusion and then realization cross over Chanâs lips before he sucks in a breath trying to find his words. Before he can speak, you force a smile and lift your shoulders, trying to seem interested and nonchalant about it all. âShe was really pretty. Totally⊠like, you know, your type. Dark and sexyâŠâÂ
That makes Chan scoff to keep from laughing. He wasnât amused by the idea of that girl. What had her name even been? God, he was a piece of shit⊠Shaking that thought from his head, he meets your eyes once again as he brushes his thumb along the arm of your shirt on your bicep. âIt wasâshe was fine. ItâIâm not seeinâ her again.âÂ
Instead of seeing what he wanted flash across your eyes, he sees concern and confusion as you shift once again against him, turning to face him, your legs crossed on the couch under you. âWhat do you mean? Youâit seemed like yâall were having a good night. Didââ You furrow your brows as you start to ask if they hooked up, realizing you donât really want to know. You see the look in Chanâs eyes as he anticipates the question, seeming uncomfortable with what his answer would be and how it would affect you.Â
âNever mind. Um, soââ Leaning away from Chan, you swipe your phone from the coffee table, opening your Instagram and searching for something while his eyes seem to search over you. âDid I ever show you, uhâMolly? Sheâs the new girl at work and she was asking aboutââÂ
Chan sighs your name, reaching for your phone and turning off the screen before he puts it back on the coffee table, shutting down the conversation before it started. âYou did and Iâm not interested.â The way your face falls, your eyes instantly searching for anywhere else to look but him as you try to regain your balance. âYou donât have to set me up with someone, sweetheart.âÂ
âBut, thatâs not true. You donât try, ChannieâŠâ You could feel the frustration rising in you as you watched Chan roll his eyes in annoyance. You were doing it again, but you hated the idea of him being sad and alone more than you were concerned if he got mad at you. âYou are always alone and you donât give anyone a chance!âÂ
âBecause I donât want a relationship, Y/N!â Chan hadnât meant to raise his voice, but the moment he had, he saw the hurt settle in your pretty eyes. âBaby, listen to me. I donât want some loveless relationship with a girl who might look good on my arm. Iâm not alone. Iâve never been alone. I got youâŠâ He hoped that youâd get what he meant. There had been very few times when he had ever let himself be this vulnerable around you and he could count on one hand the number of times he had ever called you "baby."Â
Your heart beats a little harder in your chest with Chanâs words. Why was he being like this? He had always been stubborn, but this was frustrating. You werenât enough. How could you be enough? No, youâd never let him be alone if you had your way about it, but what about when you got married? Even the idea of it leaves you with a queasy feeling rising in your throat that you force away. It was what you wanted⊠Right? That was the end goal. Youâd marry Ian⊠Youâd be a good wife and get your white picket fenceâgod, why didnât that feel perfect like it should? That was the blueprint handed down by your mother and her mother before, but it felt tainted.Â
âThatâChan, please be for real.âÂ
Those words are enough to break the calmness that Chan had been holding on to so tightly. Lifting his hand from you to push against the center of his brows, he scoffs, losing his patience. âIâm just about the only one being real. You wanna be for real, Y/N?â Not waiting for your answer, he bites the bullet, feeling the pit in his stomach grow as the words fall off his tongue like poison. âWhy the fuck would I want to be trapped like you? Why would I want to be miserable day in and fucking out like you are?âÂ
The moment the words leave Chanâs mouth, you watch his eyes soften and how quickly apologies form on his lips, but the damage was already done. Tears drip down your cheeks and you push his hand from your leg, not wanting him touching you. Words donât find your tongue; instead, you breathe his name into a sob before wrapping your arms around your legs, causing him to curse softly at your reaction.Â
âNoâwait! Y/N, I didnât meanââÂ
âStop it!âÂ
You didnât want to hear him make excuses for what he had said. You werenât even mad at him. You were mad because it hit home so hard. Hell, where had you been before he showed up to check on you? You had been wallowing in self-pity over your boyfriend ignoring you. You had been eating your way through an entire pack of chips as you teared up over reality TV relationships. What hurt the most was that Chan hadnât held back in saying it.Â
âBabâY/N, please. Iâm sorry. Iâm so fuckinâ stupid and Iâmââ Anxiety was trapped in Chanâs throat as you sobbed, batting his hands away from you with every attempt he made to pull you back to him. How could he be so stupid? What the fuck had he been thinking, saying something like that to you? It didnât matter if it was the truth. The way he had said it was wrong. While he didnât fully understand what you saw in Ian, it wasnât his place to tug you down like this and make you feel like shit. âIâm just some asshole! What the fuck do I even know, right?âÂ
A soft scoffing laugh escapes your lips between your sobs as Chan calls himself an asshole. He wasnât far off, but that wasnât fair of you. Blinking through your tears, you look up at him, seeing the crushed and concerned look on his face before confusion joins the mix when you laugh again. âYouâyouâre so stupid.âÂ
God, he was. Chan knew that, but as you sniffed hard and wiped your cheeks with your blanket, he found himself smiling at you softly. âYou know I am. Iâm sorry. I donât know whatââÂ
âLetâs just let it go, okay? I really canât handle sitting here like this anymore.â You wipe away a few fresh tears before leaning your head back, willing them to stop completely. âI look like a fucking moron.âÂ
Buzz buzzÂ
The sound was incessant as your phone kept ringing from its spot on the coffee table in front of you.Â
Buzz buzz
You werenât sure what time you had fallen asleep on this couch, but what you knew right now was that the buzzing from your phone was annoying. You were warm and your back was pressed against someoneâs chest as you finally forced your eyes open. Glancing over your shoulder, you stare at Chan as he sleeps soundly behind you, his arm around your waist protectively.Â
You remembered him coming over and your meltdown, but then the two of you had settled on the couch to watch some movie together. Apparently neither of you had made much of an effort to get off the couch and had fallen asleep here together.Â
This wasnât the first time by any means. Hell, he had spent nights over in your bed, the two of you talking until early morning and your mom finding the two of you gently chastising you both before a smile would take over her lips. It was innocent. This didnât feel as innocent. You were warm and safe right here. You didnât want to check your phone that had stopped ringing only to ring again.Â
Buzz buzz
Carefully slipping from under Chanâs arm, you pull the blanket from the back of the couch down over him before picking up your phone and hissing under your breath at the name on the screen. Ian was calling you. Now you felt even more guilty for where you had fallen asleep and the fact that you had a missed call from him.Â
âHello?â You whisper as you move out of the living room and into your bedroom, leaving the door cracked. Balancing the phone against your shoulder, you bite at your bottom lip as you tug some jeans and a shirt from your closet, realizing you were still in your stained lounge clothes from the day before.Â
Ian laughs under his breath. âWhy are you whispering, babe? You busy?â You were never busy this early and certainly not on a day off. Maybe you were just waking up. The thought of that brought a bit of a smile to Ianâs face as he pictured you cute and sleepy, waking up against his chest.Â
Shaking your head, you tug your shirt over your head quickly, replacing it with another before securing your phone back against your ear. âNo, no⊠Course not. I missed youâŠâ That wasnât a lie and was part of the problem. It had been a couple of days since he had really reached out like this and you were like a dog begging for scraps when it came to his attention. âAre you coming over?âÂ
That question was sincere. You wanted to see your boyfriend, but it might also be nice to have some warning since Chan was asleep on your couch. Nothing had happened. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him staying at your placeâespecially on your couchâbut you felt guilty anyway. You had slept right there on that couch with him.Â
With that question, Ian sighs, leaning his head back. It wasnât like he woke up and decided to disappoint you, but that was easier to do than breathing lately. âNah, not today, baby. I got some shit to do with the guys. You understand, right?âÂ
Disappointment settles over your guilt, taking its place as you button your jeans and stare out in front of you as if you can see Ian there. âIâno. Not really. I havenât seen you in likeâŠdays, Ian. I missââÂ
âAnd I miss you! Fuck, Y/N. You know that. Why you gotta make me feel like a piece of shit when youâre just needy?âÂ
The sound of Ianâs friends in the background makes you feel like you are sinking into the floor like a pit. They were laughing and you thought you heard one of them tell Ian he was a dick. He was talking to you like that with them right there? Tears rise in your eyes and you bite on your cheek to stop them from falling. When you donât speak up, Ian sighs your name through the phone.Â
âI gotta go, baby. I will call you later.â Before he hangs up, you hear him groan as if heâs remembering something, and he adds. âDonât forget about dinner with my parents this weekend, alright? Wear something pretty⊠Love you.â The phone beeps against your ear as he doesnât wait for your response or an âI love youâ in response.Â
Stretching on the couch, Chan flexes his fingers over the spot you had been, causing a frown to form on his face. He hadnât meant to fall asleep here but he didnât regret it for a second. He had loved having you in his arms like that. He wanted to keep you safe and happy but now you werenât where he left you.Â
Chan pulls himself up, letting the blanket you had put over him fall to the cushions as he runs his hands over his face, listening to you talk quietly in another room. He couldnât make it all out but he wasnât an idiot. You had to be talking to Ian. The thought of it made Chanâs stomach twist with too many emotionsâanxiety, disappointment, and jealousy. God, it wasnât his place but he couldnât help how jealous it made him that it wasnât him you belonged to.Â
Sighing to himself, Chan gets to his feet, ready to figure out his next move, when the sound of your voice once again catches his attention. âIâno. Not really. I havenât seen you in likeâŠdays, Ian. I missââ You were sad; that was so clear that he didnât even need to see you to know you were crying. You might be trying to keep it from Ian, but Chan knew you so well he could hear it in your voice.Â
It takes a few more minutes for you to come out of your room. Chan quickly moves his eyes over your fresh clothes before meeting your eyes, seeing your cheeks dry. You had obviously wiped your tears away; that didnât mean he couldnât still tell. âYou alright, sweetheart?âÂ
God, it was frustrating how Chan always seemed to know. Forcing a smile on your face, you put your phone in your back pocket and shrug like nothing in the world could possibly be wrong. âAll good. You, uhââ Scratching the back of your neck, you gesture to the kitchen before looking back over at the couch you and Chan had slept on before walking in the direction you had pointed. âBreakfast? Iâm sure you got all kinds of shit to do before workâŠâÂ
Chan glances back over at the couch like you had, his brows furrowing before he follows you towards the kitchen, shaking his head. âNo. I meanâyeah, breakfast, but no, I donât got shit to do. YouâŠâ Tilting his head, Chan watches you open the fridge as you try to keep up your mask, not letting him know you are hurting. âThought Iâd just hang out with you before I went back to work. That sound good?âÂ
You hated how quickly you nodded in response to that scrap of attention from your best friend. The idea of being alone was eating at you and like always, he came in like a knight in shining armor, ready to make it better. Now a real smile was pulling at your lips as you turned to meet him. âYeah! Iâyou reallyâŠâ Shaking your head to stop yourself from talking, you laugh as you bite at your bottom lip, turning back to your task, pulling out the ingredients for pancakes as you try to find the right words. âIâm just really happy to spend some time with you, Channie.âÂ
Chan smirks a bit at your reaction before moving to rest against the counter near you. He loved making you smile like that. You looked genuinely excited about spending the day with him and he didnât have anywhere else heâd rather be. âI love spending time with you. You know that.â A sigh leaves his lips as your cheeks start to heat up under his attention. You are happy when he gestures to the bowl in front of you in question. âWhatâs for breakfast? Flour?âÂ
His eyes donât leave you even as you laugh again, moving to pull on a little apron to cover your clothes. You were so beautiful and even something as simple as watching you put on that apron had his mind spiraling. You were already starting to relax and that only made it easier for him to do the same. Like this he could let himself enjoy your company and how fucking domestic this all was as you handed him the pancake flour and a measuring spoon.Â
âPancakes, duh. I need, like, twoâŠâ You say the number like a question before checking the back of the box and nodding. âOne and a half cups of that and Iâll add in the rest while you do that.âÂ
Grinning, Chan sets the bag down on the counter before doing as heâs asked. Dumping the first half a cup into the bowl, he watches you carefully as you bite at your lips, cracking an egg and adding it in as well. He could picture doing this shit every day for the rest of his life with you. If he let himself imagine too much, heâd start picturing you with a kid running around your legsâhis kid. Something that would never happen.Â
âThatâs enoughâŠ. Channie!â You whine, knocking his hand, causing the rest of the flour to spill back on his jeans. The moment his eyes fall down to his now dusted jeans, you put an apologetic smile on your lips and whisper out an apology on a quiet laugh.Â
âYou think this is funny, do ya, darlinâ?â It was obvious you did even as you apologized again, turning to drop some batter into the hot skillet. Wiping the flour from his jeans, he cups some of it into his hand, blowing it away and towards you, hitting mostly your hair and cheek.Â
âChan!â You squeal his name, kicking at his leg even as you keep your attention on the batter cooking in front of you. âIâll kick your ass if you start this.âÂ
Was that a promise? Grinning once again, he reaches into the batter bowl and scoops out a small amount, smearing it over your nose as you stare at him in disbelief. âCute.â The word leaves Chanâs mouth, followed by a loud laugh, when you smear your finger through the batter and come for him in retaliation. He grabs your wrist gently, keeping you back as you playfully glare at him. âYour pancakes are gonna burn if you keep playing with me.âÂ
He was right. You could already smell the batter cooking and it was starting to smell too done at this point, but this was war. With a small push forward, you rest your body against his and Chanâs eyes soften as he loosens his grip on your wrist, practically letting you reach forward and smear the batter onto his cheek. You couldnât remember a time when he had given up so easily, but maybe you were just getting stronger. Smiling in victory, you turn back to your pancakes and flip them over, assessing the damage as Chan presses his lips together, staying by your side.Â
You didnât seem to realize that he had let you win, but that was okay. It had taken everything in him not to wrap his arms around you when you had rested against him like you had. That daydream of a life together with you had felt all too real for a moment and now Chan was struggling to calm himself down. His heart was in his chest and his hands were shaking slightly as he grabbed a towel, wiping the batter from your nose and his cheek before cleaning most of the flour from your hair as you cooked.Â
âYou sexting your girl or something?âÂ
Seungcheolâs voice and his question pull Chan out of his daze and draw his eyes upward as he clears his throat. âWhat? No⊠I donâtââ Shaking his head, he shoves his phone back into his jacket pocket and turns his attention back to the door he was watching with the other man. Despite it being a Friday night, this bar wasnât getting nearly the action required for two to be manning the door. âI was just talking to Y/NâŠâÂ
Giving Chan a knowing look, Seungcheolâs lips pull up in a slight smirk before he steps to the side, letting in another small group of girls. They were all cute, probably close to Chanâs age and yet he didnât give them a second glance as they eyed both of the bouncers before moving to the bar, sharing giggles over Seungcheolâs attention. âLike I said.âÂ
Seungcheol always did this. He was almost as bad as you. One minute he would be teasing him about you and the next he was trying to secure every potentially eligible girlâs number for him. Chan had eyes. He knew that there were plenty of pretty girls in the bar, but none of them did it for him.Â
âQuit the shit. You know Y/N is just my best friend. SheâsâI donât know. Her location is still showing at work and sheâs had a couple bad days.â The phone in his pocket vibrates and even though Chan knows that he should ignore it, he shouldnât check it again while Seungcheol scrutinizes him⊠He canât help it. Your name was on the screen and it made Chanâs lips pull up in a small smile as he texted you back.Â
âAgain, like I said. Your girl. You look like you're two seconds from cumming in your jeans every time she texts you.âÂ
Chanâs lips purse together as he rolls his eyes at the continued teasing. Something didnât feel right about how you were texting him. Why the fuck were you still at work? He hated the idea of you having to order a ride home this late.Â
âOpe, maybe itâs not sexting. Looks like someone just pissed in your cornflakes.âÂ
Sighing into his words, Chan glares up at Seungcheol, now leaning back against the door frame as he does. âDude⊠Iâm not sexing her! We donâtâsheâs got somebody. Doesnât matterâŠâÂ
Y/N: Howâs work? You at the same bar as last week?Â
Chan: Yeah same place. The fuck you still at work for?Â
Y/N: Waiting for Ian to pick me up. He was supposed to be here like an hour ago.
An hour? Cursing under his breath, Chan quickly responds to you as Seungcheol smirks at one of the girls who was lingering closer with a drink in her hand.Â
Chan: wtf?? Where the fuck is he?Â
A few minutes pass without your answer. Chan shifts from one foot to the other, looking at the time in the corner of his screen before cursing a bit louder when you do finally answer. Both Seungcheol and the girl look up in surprise before she wanders back towards her friend. âWhat? Why are you being weird? I had a name and was this close to getting her digits but you had to wig out.â
âSorry, I didnâtâgoddammit. Iâm gonna kill his ass.â Looking up from his phone, Chan scowls heavily, shifting in place once again like it's difficult to stay still. He looks about one breath away from walking out the door and yet his feet are cemented in place, knowing he is on the clock. âThe motherfucker forgot to pick up Y/N from work and now sheâs sitting on East Higgins tellinâ me sheâs gonna order a goddamn Uber.âÂ
Now it made senseâthe ready-to-kill-someone look that was plastered on Chanâs face. Glancing around the bar, Seungcheol shrugs before gesturing to the door. âGet the fuck out of her and go take her home. Ainât shit happening in here tonight. Itâs dead as fuck and you know it.âÂ
Taking his own look around, Chan groans under his breath, feeling tugged in two different directions. He didnât skip out on work and though he knew Seungcheol would cover for him, the idea of it ate at him. Then again, you were willing to risk a ride with some shady fuck who might be cruising near your work. Chan felt bile in his throat at the idea. Sure, you might be just fine. You might get the nicest driver in town and there was always the chance youâd end up with some asshole whoâd make you uncomfortable.Â
Seconds tick by and Chan runs his hand over his face before nodding at Seungcheol, who was staring at him, waiting for him to get his ass in gear. âYeahâŠ. Yeah, alright. Iâm goinâ. Iâll make it up to you. Swear.âÂ
Not waiting for much more than a nod, Chan tugs his keys out of his pocket and moves through the door and out towards his car as he texts with the other hand.Â
Chan: Fuck that. Iâm on my way. Be there soon.
Guilt eats at you when you see that text from Chan. You hadnât wanted him to leave work for you, and yet alongside the guilt, you were feeling some relief. It was cold. You had walked out the door of work expecting Ian to be waiting for you only to notice his car wasnât there. He had promised to pick you up. He had been the one to urge you to get in a couple extra hours on your latest project at work, and now he was too busy to come get you.Â
Ten minutes pass and you look up in surprise when Chanâs car comes to a stop with a loud screech of his brakes. He had been at least twenty minutes away. You were full of anxiety, considering how many traffic laws he had broken to get to you as quickly as he had. Wiping your cheeks quickly to get rid of the leftover tears on them, you tug your bag onto your shoulder and make your way over to the car.Â
Chan furrows his brows as he waits for you to get comfortable in his passenger seat. You looked like you were freezing and he he didnât wait even a second before turning up his heat and reaching to brush his fingers over your cheeks. Your skin was like ice and he could feel the line where tears had dried in the cold air. Of course you had been crying. God, how could you not when you had been relying on someone and they let you down once again? âHere, give me your hands.â Reaching for both of your hands as you lift them, Chan cups them in his own and exhales warm breath onto your trembling fingers. âWhy didnât you go back inside, sweetheart?â
Sighing into a laugh, you tilt your head watching Chan as you start to warm up bit by bit. âThe door was locked. When I realized Ian wasnât here, I tried to open the door again, but it was too late. Iâhe told me to get an Uber home and I couldâa done that, Channie.âÂ
Chan scoffs before his teeth clench to stop him from saying something he shouldnât. âAlright, why did you work so fuckinâ late for? Itâs Friday⊠Donât you usually get drinks with people from work?âÂ
You could see the concern on Chanâs face in the way his brows were knit together and how his jaw was so tight. Taking your hands back from him, you shrug and offer him a soft smile as he finally puts the car into drive, turning towards the direction for home. âHave that big project and I was toying with the idea of getting it done this weekend. I was gonna come in tomorrow but I have dinner with Ianâs parents so heâweâthought tonight might be better to just knock it out.âÂ
Every fucking decision you made tonight had been for him. The fact of that was causing Chanâs hands to tighten around his steering wheel. He was trying to stay calm, but when you wave it off, he snaps. âHeâs a fuckinâ asshole.â You sigh Chanâs name and before you can continueâto defend IanâChan practically growls into his words. âNo, Y/N, he is. He left you in the fuckinâ cold because heâs too goddamn pathetic to keep his word. Youâre too good for him. Whyâyou should drop his ass.âÂ
Chan had said things like this before, but he had never been so mad about it. He let you make your own choices, even if he didnât agree to them, but he had never outright told you that you should break up with Ian. âDonât be silly. Itâs not a huge deal. Iâm fineâŠâÂ
âNo, baby, itâs not.â He hadnât meant to call you baby, but he wasnât thinking straight as he tapped his thumb on the wheel hard, waiting for the light to change. âHe treats you like shit. Be serious for one second and think back on just the past couple of weeks. How many times has he done what he said he was gonna do?âÂ
Swallowing hard, you consider Chanâs words and your mind does start to recount the canceled dates and all too many times you were left crying over something Ian had done or had forgotten to do.Â
âYou work too damn hard to start pulling ten- to twelve-hour days. Oughta wear your ass out for even doing it.âÂ
Now Chan was muttering under his breath, but you feel your cheeks heat up at his words anyway. He cared about you so much and without question. Sighing softly, you whine his name and shake your head when his attention is back on you. âI know, Chan. Iâyouâre right, but weâve been together for so long and heâsâyou know. Heâs talking to his parents more about shit and weâre doing dinner tomorrow. Iâd be an idiot to give up something so good.âÂ
Scoffing, Chan runs his fingers through his hair before leaning his elbow against the door as he rests his thumb against the bottom of his lip, keeping his eyes on the road. âWhatâs so good about it? Seriously, tell me because, sweetheart, I donât see it.âÂ
You sigh again and lift your hands as if itâs obvious, but Chanâs brows just lift in question. âOh my god, like everything. Heâs good-looking, heâs got a good job⊠His family isâtheyâre a good family.âÂ
âAnd heâs got a shitty-ass personality.âÂ
Finally a smile pulls at your lips, causing you to look down. Just seeing it on your face has Chan smirking against his thumb until you speak again and he feels his stomach in his throat. âI think heâs gonna propose, Channie. Iâd be throwing all that away. A good stable life⊠A chance to have kids and give them that life too.âÂ
Chan fights the urge to say he hopes youâre wrong. He wants to scream at you and tell you not to be so stupid, but what kind of friend would that make him? He could tell you that he could provide that for youâbut you didnât want him like that. He was fucking delusional to even consider it, yet the bile was biting at his throat, causing the next words to come out like the acid he felt. âYou really wanna play submissive housewife to someone like that? Someone who doesnât give you the fuckinâ time of day to come pick you up from work now? This is just you two dating, Y/NâŠâÂ
His words cut you deep, but you consider them even as they bite at what you have left of your confidence. âIâI donât know Channie. Itâs all I knowâŠâÂ
Shifting the car into park, Chanâs eyes move over your face as you keep turning to look at the building with another soft sigh. The moment you start to reach for your bag, he slides his hand into yours, lifting it towards his lips again, brushing them over your knuckles. He watches as your head tilts and your eyelashes flutter like youâre lost in thought before he fills the silence.Â
âYou know how much I love you, right?â Chan smiles against your knuckles when you nod, telling him you love him too. âAnd I just want you to be happy. Thatâs all I care about.âÂ
Your breath gets caught in your throat even as you lower your hand back down to your lap. You can feel Chanâs lips against your skin and it makes you feel like you are floating, while at the same time panic creeps up your spine because how do you land after that? You wouldnât; youâd crash to the ground in a bloody heap. You couldnât consider him like this. You couldnât ruin this with him. Why was your heart beating like a drum?
âGo on, beautiful. Get some rest.âÂ
The fish on the plate in front of you was staring at you. Even as you pushed your fork against the side of it, there seemed to be no way to make the fish close its eyes. You could hear the soft drone of voices around you, and yet it wasnât until Ian closed his hand around yours that you seemed to come back to the present.Â
âMother was speaking to youâŠâ Ian had a smile on his face, but it wasnât real. There was a strain in his lips that you could see so easily. Dropping your fork, you smile at him and then look to his mother. She was the very picture of a kept housewife. Her brown hair was in a neat chignon near the nape of her neck. Her makeup was light and yet hid every single imperfection. The smile on her face was just as strained as her sonâs.Â
âIâIâm so sorry, Mrs. Carrington. What were you saying?âÂ
She scoffs under her breath, glancing at her husband by her side, who hadnât stopped inspecting you from the moment you had sat down. He was what you imagined power personified would be. He scared you a bit. He looked so much like Ian, and yet there was a deepness in his eyes that made you feel like people could get lost in them. âThatâs alright, dear. I was asking about your job. I was wanting to know what advancement opportunities lie at your company. Are you fulfilled there, dear? Would you still work once you have children?âÂ
Opening and closing your mouth, you swallow hard, feeling Ianâs thumb rub against your wrist bone as they all wait for you to answer. âIââ Why couldnât you just spit out the words they wanted to hear? Why was this so uncomfortable and difficult? You had met each of Ianâs parents separately over the course of your relationship, but this was the first time you had all sat down together.Â
âShe works so hard. Iâm sure there would be something that could and should be available to her.â Ian speaks up, covering for you and you find yourself grateful until he tilts his head and sucks at his teeth. âBut I think Y/N would be happy to stay at home with children. Sheâll make a wonderful mother. Right, baby doll?âÂ
Ianâs eyes, along with his parentsâ, stay fixed on you as your cheeks start to burn. You werenât really ready for kids at this exact moment. Of course you had thought about them. You had told Chan the same just a day before, but now that the subject was in front of you and your life was being spelled out for you, it had your heart in your throat beating with every word. âIâI donât know. Thereâs time to figure that out.âÂ
That hadnât been the response anyone at the table had been waiting for. For the first time in about twenty minutes, Ianâs father makes a sound, and itâs one of disapproval. âYouâll need to figure it out, Miss Y/L/N. There are expectations as a Carrington⊠That is what all this bullshit is about, is it not?â His eyes then fell to his son, who rested his elbow on the table, pursing his lips against his index finger.Â
âWell, IâSir, I couldnât assumeââ You had started to speak only to feel Ianâs hand tighten around your wrist to stop you. Wincing a bit at the pressure of his hand, you look down at it and then over to Ian even as he keeps his eyes off of you and on his parents. âThat hurtsâŠâ You manage to whisper the words, leaning towards Ian, and his eyes finally shift to yours. While his fingers ease slightly, he doesnât let go, and the look in your eyes tells you almost everything you needed to know. He knew that it hurt, and he had meant it. Were you being so impossible that he had to physically shut you down?Â
âY/N understands, Father. Donât worry aboutââÂ
âIâll worry about what I want to worry about, Ian. Iâve played along with thisââ His finger shifts, pointing from him to you as he furrows his brows in discomfort. âFor too long. You told me that she was perfect. I fail to see that.â Settling his eyes back on you, Ianâs father moves his eyes from the top of your head and down as if he can see through the table. âWe asked for you both to dress for the occasion. Your girlfriend decided that this restaurant warranted a tight dress that leaves nothing to the imagination? She canât speak without stammering like an uneducated child. Iâm not seeing the perfection.âÂ
Your stomach flipped with each of his hits to your appearance and actions. This should be the time that Ian stood up to him and named everything he liked about you. You could imagine him being furious with his father and how he was speaking to you; instead, he lowered his own hand, smoothing out his perfect shirt, and tightened his hand around your wrist again.Â
âI did ask better of her, Father.â Seeing your jaw drop in surprise, Ian turns to look at you, leaning in closer to speak quieter just for you. âStop that. You know I did. I told you multiple times this week that this was coming up, and you said you understood.â His eyes shift down to your dress and the bit of cleavage that peeks from the neckline with a displeased groan. âI told you to look perfect. At least you can do is think before you speak. You know the pressure Iâm under⊠I like you, but Jesus Christ, Y/N.âÂ
âLike me? You donât love me?â Your eyes cut into Ian as he sighs your name, glancing towards his parents as they speak in a similar way. His fatherâs neck was flushed from anger and you werenât making this easy.Â
âStop⊠Iâyou know I love you.âÂ
Tugging your hand away, you go back to looking at the poor dead fish on your plate as Ian apologizes to his parents for you. This didnât feel like love, but what were you supposed to do but take it? This was what you had signed up for, right? You had slowly started to learn who Ian was. He was one person with his parents and another with his friends, and with you he had never been this. Not really. He had been mean before, but today, this was cruel.Â
The dinner had gone on for longer than you had wanted. You had spent more time staying silent and nodding along with Ian or his mother as his father continued to tell you how the relationship would be going from here on out. He had slapped his hand to his sonâs shoulder with a painful clap before shaking his hand and telling him you all could meet again in a month to discuss the next steps. Was that how an engagement should begin? Was this a business proposal that his father needed to sign off on before your boyfriend could or would get on his knee to ask for your hand?Â
Looking out the window, you sigh as Ian keeps his eyes on the road. You hadnât spoken to him since the two of you had told his parents goodbye, but it didnât seem like it was bothering him. It isnât until the car is parked outside of your building that he turns his attention back to you and breathes out your name. It hurt hearing his voice so soft now when he had hurt you so badly today. Glancing towards him, you feel yourself start to melt a bit at the apologetic look on his face. Maybe you were being too harsh. He had said it himself; he was under a lot of pressure.Â
âAre you still mad at me?â Ian slides his hand over yours on your leg, lacing his fingers through yours as he watches your brows soften. âI said I was sorry, babe.âÂ
He had said that, but at the time it hadnât felt like he meant it. Now you werenât as sure. It was confusing. There was an ache in your heart, but having his soft eyes on you like this now⊠did it make everything better? Shaking your head, you watch his lips pull up in a smile before he turns your hand in his, lifting it towards his mouth and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. The entire moment makes your stomach twist as you picture Chan doing the same thing the night before when Ian had left you sitting outside of your office.Â
âThatâs good. Iâll call you later, okay?âÂ
At those words, your mouth dries up and you stare at Ian like heâs joking. Tugging your hand away, your brows once again tense as you try to find your words, feeling like there is cotton sitting on your tongue. âWhaâwhat? What do you mean? You arenât coming in?âÂ
Ian sighs, leaning his head back against the leather headrest. âBaby, I have shit to do. We just had this fucking conversation.âÂ
All you see is red. You grab your purse out of the floorboard and get out of his car quickly, slamming the door behind you. You can hear Ian cursing behind the closed door and he doesnât stop as he gets out and moves around the car quickly, his eyes narrowing on you. âThe fuck is your problem? Youâre acting like a spoiled brat! If you fucked up my carâ I swear to god, Y/N!âÂ
You had hoped that maybe he was getting out of his stupid expensive car to come to get you. You let yourself believe for a split fucking second that he was angry you werenât going to talk this out with him, but no. Of course he wasnât doing that; instead, you watch as Ian runs his hand over the door of his car.Â
âYou need to watch your damn temper, Y/N. This car is worthââÂ
âI donât give a fuck what itâs worth, Ian!â Staring at him for a few seconds, you turn your attention to the car and kick at the door hard, feeling the heel of your shoe scratching at the paint. His hands grab your biceps, and he pulls you tightly into his arms, causing you to wince at the force he uses to keep you in place.Â
âGet your ass inside before you do something to really piss me off!â With a rough push towards the steps, Ian glares at you, and you glare back, tears dripping off your cheeks.Â
Across town Chan hadnât been able to stop himself from thinking about you. He had checked his texts one more time; Chan sighs when he sees his message to you left unread. He knew that you were out with Ian, but he couldnât help himself now as he pulled into a parking spot and looked towards your place. He didnât know what he had expected, but it wasnât seeing that motherfucker pushing you away from him, causing you to stumble.Â
It only takes seconds for Chan to run towards the other man and for his body to crash into his, sending them both to the sidewalk below. His knuckles meet Ianâs jaw and Chan feels pain rush through his hand from the force. You were yelling now, but Chan only saw him. It didnât matter that his knuckles were split from how hard he was punching Ian; it only mattered that it was finally happening.
âGet the fuck off of me!â Growling into his words, Ian lands a punch on Chanâs stomach, giving him a split second to roll over him, taking advantage of this fight. He hated this asshole and now he finally had a reason to kick his ass. Taking another swing, this time for Chanâs face, he hits skin, feeling the bone underneath. Ian hoped he had done some damage, but the man below him just glares at him even as blood starts to run down his jaw from his lip.Â
âStop it! Please!â Your throat was raw from how loud you were having to be, just hoping either Ian or Chan would listen to you, but instead you watched as Chan put Ian back on the ground below him and landed a punch against his side, causing your boyfriend to groan in pain. âOh my god! Chan, stop it!âÂ
You knew it was stupid to try to break up the two men, but the moment that Ian ended up back over Chan, your heart was in your throat hearing the sound of his fists against your best friendâs face. Starting to reach for Ian, you meet his eyes briefly when his elbow swings back and against your jaw, causing you to see a flash of white as pain spreads through your face.Â
Sirens blare in your ears even as you stumble back, your hand on your cheek, hearing Ian and Chan cursing at one another. You couldnât make out their words anymore. You only seem to focus when a woman speaks to you, her hand on your arm as you look past her to watch two police officers dragging your boyfriend and best friend apart.Â
âMiss?â You blink at the woman, seeing the concern in her eyes as her eyes fall to your already swelling jaw. âWhich one of them hit you? Do you need an ambulance?âÂ
Shaking your head, you glance down at the badge on her chest as fresh tears roll down your cheeks. âNoâŠâ Beyond the police officer in front of you, you watch as both men are cuffed behind their backs, Chan struggling briefly before heâs told to stop. His eyes were focused on Ianâs, whose eyes were full of the same hate.Â
âWould you like to press charges?âÂ
Those words bring you fully back to the moment, and you step towards them only to be pulled back by the female police officer, who tries to keep you calm. âNo! Iâitâs not like that. Please donât take them.âÂ
âMiss, if either one of them cared enough to stay here, they wouldnât have been fighting on the side of the street.âÂ
It had been close to eight hours since you had watched Ian and Chan being driven away in police cars. Your face was aching even as you held an ice pack to it with your eyes fixed on your cell phone. You had texted both of them hoping for a response, and it was as if time was laughing at you as the screen of your phone stayed black.Â
Tears begin to well in your eyes, and finally relief mixed with panic floods through you as you grab your phone and look at the message from Ian.Â
Ian: Iâm sorry.Â
Pressing down on his name, you put your phone to your ear and whine when he sends you straight to voicemail with another text, causing your phone to vibrate in your hand.Â
Ian: I need some time. My parents bailed me out. Theyre pissed.
Of course they would be. God, this was the fucking worst. Theyâd hate you even more now, but you find yourself not dwelling on that. At least Ian was out, and you two could talk about this. You needed to talk to him about what happened, but your mind shifted to Chan. He hadnât texted you back yet and you didnât know if he was even okay.Â
Y/N: Iâm so sorry. Do you know if Chan is okay?
Ian: donât fuckin care hope he rots in thereÂ
Ianâs text causes your mouth to drop open in disbelief. You knew that there would be animosity after what had happened, but not outright rage like that.Â
Y/N: Donât say thatâŠ
A moment later your phone rings, showing Ianâs name on the caller ID. Anxiety ripples through you as you answer, putting the phone to your ear.Â
âReally, Y/N? You gonna go that damn low to back that motherfucker after what he did to me? He attacked me!âÂ
Opening your mouth, you start to speak only to hear Ian curse as his mother speaks in the background, telling him to calm down. Tears that had been sitting on the rims of your eyes start to trail along your cheeks as he curses your best friend, calling him every name he can think of before turning his attention back to you. âWhen are you gonna get it through your thick ass skull who and what he is?âÂ
Swallowing a sob, you shake your head and wipe your tears from your cheeks. âNo, stop it. Itâs not like that. YouâYou pushed me and heââÂ
âOh my god, Y/N! I apologized! I was just pissed. You kicked my goddamn car! You were acting crazy!âÂ
Once again you start to speak, the sob coming through in your voice as you start to defend yourself and Chan, only to hear Ian hit something through the phone and his mother gasp, immediately telling him to calm down again. âNo, Iâm not calming down. You know what, Y/N? I canât do this bullshit anymore. I'm done!âÂ
Your heart cracks at his words. You feel the pieces shattering in your chest as you try to catch your breath, whispering that this isnât fair. You donât get the chance to speak again as the phone beeps in your ear, leaving you just as alone as you were. Tears drip onto the screen of your phone and your shoulders shake as you feel a wave of pain wash over you, followed by a sense of relief. The relief confuses you; it has you sitting up straighter and wiping the tears from your face before you find yourself calming down enough to think.Â
The evening replays in your mind. The pain in your jaw has your brows furrowing as you let out a soft, calm breath, realizing you arenât nearly as heartbroken as you should be.Â
Staring up at the police station, you swallow hard before taking the few steps up the stairs before pulling the door open to look around. You couldnât say that you had been to the police station often, if ever before, but looking around it now had you relaxing more. You had expected bad guys cuffed to chairs and people yelling as police officers led them around, but instead you found one man leaned back in a chair with an annoyed look on his face as a woman sat behind a desk offering a smile to you.Â
âUh, hi. Iâcould I speak to someone about bailing someone out?âÂ
The woman nods before pressing down on her radio, asking for another officer to come out before she gestures in that direction. The man offers you a soft smile and then his hand as he introduces himself as Officer Jeon and waits for you to do the same. âHow can I help you, Miss Y/N?âÂ
Following him towards a set of chairs, you sigh before finally speaking. âI want to bail out my friend Lee Chan. IâIâve never done this before. I brought some cashâŠâ Lifting your purse into your lap, you start to dig out your wallet when the officer laughs under his breath.Â
âLet me get his release papers, and weâll get this figured out.â After a few moments of you sitting awkwardly waiting for him to come back, he waves the papers at you, and you move to stand, going towards him. âHis bond is set at $1000 cash. He was charged with public disorderly conduct. This is his court date, but he knows that too.âÂ
You once again start to take out your wallet when Officer Jeon gestures to the woman you had spoken to when you had arrived. âSheâll take that from you, and Iâll go get Mr. Lee.âÂ
Nodding, you slowly make your way towards the woman as she takes the papers from the other officer, beginning to process his release into your care.Â
Chanâs face was aching, and that didnât match the feeling of his ribs. He wasnât sure that he hadnât broken something, but rage was doing a good job of masking it. Someone was bailing him out and Chan couldnât think of anyone besides you. That was crazy, though. You wouldnât want to see him after how he acted. He had just seen shades of red and black when Ian had laid his hands on you. Then he had almost blacked out when he heard that motherfuckerâs elbow hit your face. You had looked terrified and shocked.Â
Walking behind Officer Jeon, Chan sighs under his breath, lifting his head to see you standing there with papers in your hand. You had come for him after all. There wasnât anger in your gaze like he had assumed there would be; instead, you looked like you were going to cry at the sight of him.Â
âHey, darlinâ.âÂ
Even Chanâs voice sounded as rough as he looked. Enough time had gone by that, just like your bruise, his was starting to bloom along his skin. There were so many, and you knew there were more you couldnât even see. Moving towards him, you move into his arms, hearing him grunt in some discomfort as he nods along with the officerâs words, promising to go to his court date.Â
Leaving his arm around your shoulders, Chan moves through the station with you and out the door, taking in a deep breath of the evening air. His cell hadnât necessarily stunk, but there was a chemical cleaner smell that made it even more unpleasant. He had laid down on the thin mattress over the metal bed and attempted to rest his eyes, but all he could see when he closed them was the fear in your eyes. This was better; this was freedom, and heâd do anything he could not to end up inside of one of those cells again.Â
You turn in Chanâs arms and look up at him, the tears in your eyes spilling over as you run your fingers over the bruises on his face and then the cut on his lip. âIâm so sorry.â You have to catch your breath through the words, and even as Chan shakes his head, ready to apologize, you refuse it, burying your face against his shoulder, letting him hold you tight.Â
âIâm alright. Shh, sweetheart. Let me see youâŠâ His voice is soft as you look up at him. Chan traces the swelling on your jaw, and his teeth clench in anger. That pissed him off more than any bruise or broken bone he might have. You should have never been touched in the first place, but this was worse.Â
âItâs okay.âÂ
It wasnât okay, and Chan wanted you to understand that, but you were looking at your phone before he could speak. He could see that you had already ordered a ride and now you were just checking to see how long it would be before the Uber would show up.Â
Holding the door so you can get into the car, Chan furrows his brows as he sits beside you, letting you rest against his side. He finds himself wondering if you did this same thing for Ian. If you had taken him back to his car and let the prick apologize before he swept you back off your feet. The idea of it makes him feel sick, bile rising in his throat as his eyes move over the side of your face. âIâso, didâhave you spoken to Ian?âÂ
Chan watches as you take a deep breath at the mention of your boyfriendâs name. His eyes follow your face as you nod, but you donât give him much more than that. God, this wasnât good, was it? Rubbing his palms against his jeans, Chan looks out the window as the driver turns towards your building and parks. Starting to speak, Chan stops when you thank the man and look at him expectantly. âYouâyeah, sorry.â Sliding from the seat, Chan watches you do the same before he closes the door and listens to the car drive away, leaving you both in silence.Â
His car was still parked where it had been, but Ianâs was gone. Swallowing hard, Chan tugs his keys from his pocket, ready to speak again when you take his keys out of his hand and lace your fingers with his instead. âIâm not going home? Donât you want some time away from me?â
He watches as you shake your head and start to lead him up the stairs into your building without so much as a word at first. The silence was like feeling needles against his skin even as your hand rested in his. âIâm sorry, Y/N. I didnât mean for any of this shit to happen and IâI just⊠He pushed you, and I freaked the fuck out. Heâs a cocksucker with a complex, and I should just keep my mouth shut, but I hate the idea of him touchinâ youâyou know, like that.âÂ
Pushing open the door to your place, you sigh Chanâs name and laugh sadly under your breath. âStop apologizing. It was my fault andâ" You trail off before letting go of his hand, dropping the keys into the bowl and walking into the living room, knowing he is following you. âDoesnât matter anymore.âÂ
Chanâs brows furrow at your words, leaving him confused. What didnât matter anymore? You donât give him much time to dwell on it as you look back at him and sigh sadly. Moving to take his hand again, you lead him towards the bathroom, leaning to turn on the shower and turning to tug his shirt from his jeans as he watches you closely. Your fingers timidly trace the outline of the biggest bruise on his side as your lips turn down in a frown.Â
âThis is all my fault.â You were echoing your words from a few minutes ago, but now there was so much pain laced in them that it was breaking Chanâs heart. âIâm so difficult.â You wipe your tears from your cheek angrily before pushing Chanâs shirt up his torso, making him help you get it off as you look over the cuts and bruises that were hidden from you. âWe went to lunch with his parents, and they hated me. They hated what I was wearing and how I spoke. Ian was so ashamed of meâŠâÂ
Gritting his teeth, Chan leans his head back to keep himself from reacting like heâd prefer to hear how your day had gone. You werenât someone that anyone should ever be ashamed of. You were perfect, and if they couldnât see thatâif Ian couldnât see thatânone of them deserved you. âFuck them. Fuck him. Iâd kick his ass again if I got the chance. Iâll kill himââÂ
âNo, you wonât.â Sniffing back your tears, you take Chanâs shirt from his hands and hold it close to you, starting to walk out of the bathroom. âLike I said, it doesnât matter anymore. He broke up with me. Iâ" You laugh sadly under your breath again, and Chan leans against the bathroom counter, his brows furrowed at this new information. âI asked about you when he told me his parents bonded him out. He told me you could rot in there for all he cared.â Tears stream down your cheeks, but you canât decide if you are sad, angry, or numb. âI donât know what to do.âÂ
Moving towards you, Chan slides his fingers over yours, pulling one hand to him as he tilts his head. âYou donât have to do anything. How are you feeling? Thatâs what I want to know. He didnât deserve you, but IââÂ
You laugh again, leaning your head back to attempt to stop the tears still flowing from your eyes. I donât know how to feel. Ian⊠He was supposed to be my forever. I had been banking on it, you know?âÂ
Taking another step towards you, Chan groans your name under his breath as he shakes his head, reaching up to wipe tears from your cheeks. He hated that you were crying over this asshole. It broke his heart to see you so broken. âYou deserved so much better. You deserve someone better than some pussy who is going to throw you around like he did.âÂ
Those were pretty words, and that makes you smile. It was like being told a joke that you knew the true punchline to. âIâm never going to find better than that, Channie.âÂ
Thatâs all it takes to break Chan and for him to push you against the door so he can rest his hand on the wood beside your head. His other hand rests against your face, his thumb brushing away more of those tears. He shakes his head resolutely and meets your eyes. âYou are worth the fucking world. I justâI just wish I wasnât such a fucking coward and could say exactly what I want to say to you. I wish just once I could show you what that meansâŠâÂ
You feel fear spreading through you at Chanâs words, but as much fear as there is rushing through your veins, there is hope chasing it out. You wanted to hear what he had to say. You didnât want to push him away or make another excuse to get away from him before something happened you couldnât take back. You didnât want to take this back.Â
âFuck⊠Y/N, I love you.â Chan whines into his words when you quickly repeat the words back to him, but he rests his forehead against yours and traces the line of your neck as he forces himself to be brave. âNo⊠Not like that.â Seeing the look in your eyes change, Chan sighs, sliding his hand from the door to rest it on your waist. âIâof course I love you like that, baby. I mean, Iâm in love with you. Iâve always been in love with you.âÂ
Seconds tick by into minutes with you staring up at him with confusion in your eyes until finally understanding seems to wash over you. Reaching up to slide your hand along his chest, you hear Chan whisper your name, pain lining his voice with fear of rejection, before you finally reach his neck, tugging him down the few inches you need.Â
Your lips are soft and yet it feels like a fire is behind that kiss when your lips finally meet Chanâs. A groan slips between his lips and into yours as he takes the last step towards you, pinning you between him and the door. This had to be in his imagination. This was every dream he had ever had and it was going to take convincing for Chan to realize it was real.Â
Hands carefully trace the line of Chanâs side before you rest your palm against his abs, feeling him suck in his stomach at your touch. You knew this was crazy. There was so much that could go wrong with this, but you push those thoughts away and whine out a moan into Chanâs mouth as his fingers press into your skin over your shirt.Â
Somehow this feels so overdue. You feel the fire that had been stoked in your heart burst into flames when Chan groans your name, sliding his hands down your hips then over your ass to lift you. He steps between your legs, and you lock your ankles behind his back, rolling your hips down over his, feeling his cock hardening in his jeans for you.Â
âFuck, babyâŠâ You felt so good against him. He had imagined this thousands of times over the years, but nothing could prepare him for how you actually felt. Your lips were so soft, and your tongue was warm against his. Your body was perfect. He loved how you fit against him and how you clearly wanted him as much as he wanted you. He could feel heat between your thighs, and his cock was painfully straining in his pants now.Â
Sliding his fingers along your waist again, Chan breaks the kiss to look down at you for any signs of regret as he pushes your shirt up your stomach to rest under your breasts. Instead of finding any regret, he finds fire in your eyes. They were full of lust and, more importantly, love. God, this might only happen this once, and you might hate him after it, but Chan was so selfish heâd take one time.Â
You help Chan slide your shirt over your head, letting it fall to the floor with his as his hands trace your skin as if heâs trying to memorize it with his fingers. Your bra slips down your arms as he unclasps it and you shimmy against him, letting him drop it along with the other clothes. This wasnât the first time he had seen your tits before, but there was a difference between walking in on your best friend while she changed and the way that Chan was looking at you now.Â
How could you be this fucking perfect? Your body was calling to him, and Chan was determined to answer. Brushing his lips against yours again to capture them in a deep kiss, he traces the swell of your breast with one hand before running his thumb over your nipple, causing it to harden. Electricity seems to roll through your body with that action, and you arch your back off the door, pushing your chest back towards him with a whine.Â
âSo fucking pretty. God, let me look at you.âÂ
Chanâs voice is low but thereâs a deepness to it that has your thighs shaking. You had forced yourself not to think about him like this, but now that it was yours for the taking, every dirty thought you had secretly had about him washed over you. You swallow hard as he steps back from the door and turns to put you on the counter so he can step back and take you in. You feel shy under his eyes and yet nothing about that makes you want to hide.Â
Tugging his belt from his jeans, Chan moves his eyes over every inch of your skin without regret. You were his. At least in this moment you were and if it was the first and only time he was damn well going to remember every detail. He mapped out the moles and scars on your skin as he dropped his jeans to the floor with his boxers before running his hand up your legs and to your waist, undoing your jeans next.Â
A sigh escapes your lips as you lean back against the mirror, lifting your hips to make it easier for Chan to tug them down with your panties. You were trying to stay focused, but his hands felt so good on your skin, and when he stepped back between your legs, you could feel his cock hard against your bare skin.Â
He was big. Bigger than you had even noticed before. It wasnât as if you had been looking at your best friendâs cock before, but you were a woman, and you werenât blind. You had seen the bulge in his jeans more than once and let your eyes linger there for a second too long. Now you were looking and feeling without shame. Sliding your hand along your leg, you smirk when Chanâs hands tighten on your thighs, feeling your fingers sliding along his shaft.Â
âCareful, sweetheart⊠Donât tease me too much.âÂ
Was that a threat? What if you did exactly that? God, why did that excite you so much? You were soaked, practically dripping onto the counter under you, and Chanâs breathy voice had you tightening around nothing. âWhy not?âÂ
Laughing under his breath, Chan follows it up with a groan when you wrap your hand around his cock and press his tip against your palm, smearing pre-cum onto your skin. âBrat⊠I donât wanna scare you. This is supposed to be perfect. Iâve always pictured it differently.âÂ
That has you tilting your head as you shift forward to rest the head of his cock against your pussy, your other hand gliding along his length slowly. âYou wonât scare me.â There was a smile in your voice, teasing him as you did the same with your hand and the softness of the lips between your legs. âHow did you picture it? How many times did you picture it?âÂ
Groaning quietly, Chan opens his eyes to meet yours, seeing the challenge in your eyes. âIâve thought about this almost every fucking day since we were teenagers, but Iâve loved you for longer.â That admission has your hand slowing and your brows softening; Chan smirks at your reaction, moving to place his hand over yours, moving it over his cock at his pace. âI pictured romancing you. Laying you back on the bed and worshiping you until you screamed my name and came on my cock.â That has your eyes widening and your fingers tightening around him. Groaning into his words, Chan looks down at your hand under his and gasps between words. âYou donât know anything about me when it comes to this. I might scare the shit out of you, princess.âÂ
Your breath catches in your throat when you see the look in Chanâs eye, and you find yourself actually feeling a bit nervous at his words. Yet the challenge stares you in the face, and you donât back down. âIâm not afraid of you.âÂ
Biting at his lip, Chan looks for signs you are lying before his hand moves for your thigh, coming back down with a harsh slap to your skin. He watches as you gasp into a moan before your head falls back against the mirror. Your eyes had rolled back into your head, and you were panting now. âPromise?âÂ
You had never been with a man who would actually be rough with you before. You could remember complaining about your sex life to Chan more than once, and now you could remember the smirk on his lips as he told you that maybe you just hadnât found the right guy yet. âFuck, I promise. PleaseâŠâÂ
What were you even begging for? Smirking to himself, Chan takes a few steps back from you and holds on to the ends of your fingers, urging you to slide off the counter to stand on your own. The moment your feet hit the floor, he turns you in front of him and pins you down, his chest against your back. âSpread your legs.â When you take a moment to act, Chan knocks his knees between your thighs, urging you to do as he said. âHow many times have you thought about me fucking you? Be honest.âÂ
The question has your cheeks burning with embarrassment. You had spent years pushing down your attraction to your best friend, and now he wanted the dirty truth. Fingers slip between your wet folds from behind, and you press your hands into the cold counter under you with a whining moan. âIâa few times.âÂ
Scoffing at your answer, Chan uses his forearm to keep you pinned down as he leans back to look between your legs as he spreads your folds for him, seeing how wet you are. You were dripping on his fingers, and he still couldnât prove that this wasnât a highly realistic wet dream. It didnât matter either way; he had to see this through. Heâd die if he didnât. âA few? Once, twice, maybe a dozen? Weâve known each other a long fuckinâ time, Y/N. I know when youâre lying to me. Donât make me punish you.âÂ
The promise of that was so sweet you bite your bottom lip and suck it into your mouth, feeling Chanâs fingers barely dip into your entrance. You gasp, your lip falling from your lips when he buries his middle finger in you completely, drawing an answer from your lips. âA couple timesâŠâÂ
It was a lie and he knew it. Chan grins, standing up a bit taller, letting his arm rest over your ass now as he curls his finger against your warm, soft walls. âYouâre gorgeous when you lie.â With those words he pulls his finger from you, hearing you whine before his hand comes down hard over your ass. The scream falling from your lips scares him for a few seconds before you relax under him and look back over your shoulder with lust in your eyes. You wanted more. He could do that.Â
Chan tugs you back further, pushing your ass out even more, before his hand smacks the side of your ass so hard that his palm burns. âHow fucked up are you, baby? Wanna share stories?â His eyebrows lift, and you whine, turning your head away from him. You were embarrassed, but Chan was feasting on the sight of you. âOh, come on. You wonât tell me the truth about how much youâve thought about me. Least you can do is tell me how kinky youâve gotten.â Did he even really want to know? Probably not. The idea of some other man touching you has Chanâs blood boiling, but he has to hear it from you to know just how much better he has to be.Â
âI donât know! Fuck, Channie!â Another slap to your ass has your thighs trembling, your knees threatening to buckle before Chan pulls you back against his chest as he leans to turn the shower off, making you realize this isnât going to be over anytime soon. You whine at the feeling of his hard cock pressing against your ass as he leads you out of the bedroom and into your bedroom. You know you should know better, but a smirk pulls at your lips as you remember what he had said. âThis the part where you romance me and make love to me?âÂ
Grinning to himself, Chan tugs your arm behind your back a bit tighter at the teasing in your voice. âSomethinâ like that. I do want you on your back.â Turning you in his arms quickly, Chan dips his head to yours and captures your lips in a searing kiss that leaves you breathless. He continues to walk you backwards until your knees meet the end of the bed and you fall backwards without anyone to catch you but the mattress.Â
Chan moves his eyes back over you and groans as he stops between your legs, seeing your folds glisten in the light. âSpread âem.â He watches intently as you spread your legs, your folds sticking together from how wet you really are. âYour pussy too. Be a good girl and use your fingers.âÂ
You lick your lips, your breath threatening to get caught in your throat again as Chan tells you what to do. You know you could tell him no. You could just lie here and let him force you to do it, but your fingers trail over your stomach and between your legs, where you use your fingers to spread your soft folds for him.Â
âNo one compares to you. Iâve looked at women. Iâve fucked them. You know that⊠Donât give me that look.â A smirk pulls at Chanâs lips when you narrow your eyes at him recounting his own sex life. âYouâre the one who urged me to date, baby. You donât get to judge me now.â Seeing you still pout at him, though your eyes soften, has Chan chuckling in amusement. âBut none of them were half as beautiful as you. None of their pussies had my mouth watering and my cock so fucking hard. Thatâs only you.âÂ
There would be no other girls. Heâd never look between another girlâs legs for as long as you were breathing. You had never been so possessive in your life, especially not over Chan, but now you were practically feral at the thought of him touching another girl. How had you set up all those dates and watched some girlâs hand sliding over his arm? The idea of it now made you want to scream and tear their hair out.Â
âYou look like youâre going to burst into flames. Are you that fuckinâ mad? You thinking about how you took me to the bar and I left with another woman?âÂ
âShut the fuck up!âÂ
Chan laughs in disbelief as you yell at him. His hand slaps yours away before his hand comes down hard over your pussy, making you scream out a moan. âYouâre furious. So goddamn jealous now. You claiming me, darlinâ?âÂ
Tears were on your cheeks, but this time they werenât from how sad you had been. This time they were tears of pleasure. They were tears of frustration as Chan played with you. âYouâre mine.âÂ
God, how long had Chan wanted to hear that? How many times had he wanted to say that same fucking thing to you? Sliding his fingers along your folds, Chan grins as he meets your vengeful eyes. âAnd youâre mine. No one else can ever make you feel like I do. I swear that to you. Iâm gonna fuck you so hard⊠so good, that you wonât remember that motherfuckerâs name.âÂ
He was just as possessive, if not more. That was deadly clear now as Chan avoided even saying Ianâs name in fear youâd try to remember it. The moment you furrow your brows, Ianâs name clearly on your mind, Chan groans, but it sounds more like a growl before his hand comes down between your legs again hard. It hurt, but it hurt so good that each slap had your thighs quivering and your pussy clenching.Â
âGet his fuckinâ name off your mind. What did I just say?âÂ
âIâm sorry! I wonât think about him. Iâll forget his name.âÂ
With your apology, Chan nods, his fingers smoothing the burn he had left between your legs before he turns his palm up and slides two of his fingers into you without warning. He watches you arch off the bed and how your legs try to close, but he just pushes them back down to the bed with his free hand. âYouâre close, arenât you? You gonna cum on my fingers like a good girl?âÂ
You wanted to be his good girl, and he wasnât making that difficult. You were so close that it was painful. A few thrusts of his fingers over that spot inside of you had you lifting your hips off the bed and trying to push his hand away. He didnât let you. He pushed down on your hips and pumped his fingers into you harder, faster, and unapologetically as he prolonged your orgasm, causing you to scream his name.Â
Chan doesnât stop until he sees the tears rolling down your cheeks once again. Only then does he slide his fingers from you, pausing to tease your swollen clit, drawing another whimper for mercy from your pretty lips. You were exhausted. Your thighs were shaking uncontrollably, and his hand was coated in your cum. It still wasnât enough. Chan wanted you ruined.Â
You shiver as Chan traces his hands along your sides, letting them come to a rest under your breasts. He was giving you time to come down from your orgasm, but you werenât sure there was any way of coming down from this. You had never felt so limp after an orgasm as you did now. You could easily fall asleep as his hands lulled you to take deeper breaths, and yet you knew he wasnât done. âYouâYouâre gonna kill me.âÂ
Laughing under his breath, Chanâs lips brush over the soft skin of your stomach, groaning when you shift under him. âNever. I couldnât live without you. I thought you knew that by now.â He watches a smile pull at your lips before he nips gently at your skin, working his kisses lower. You were whining his name, almost seeming to realize where he was going, but he laced his fingers with yours and tsked. âDenying me a taste? Canât you handle it, baby?âÂ
God, he was infuriating. You were made of jello, and Chan wasnât letting you go. Youâd be lying to yourself and him if you wanted him to. Opening your eyes, you watch him move lower, your bottom lip caught between your teeth only to slip out when you moan at the first swipe of his tongue between your legs.Â
You tasted better than Chan could imagine. Your pretty thighs were trembling with each lick, nip, and brush of his lips over your sensitive pussy, but he wasnât anywhere close to being done with you. Pushing your legs back towards your stomach, Chan groans like a starved man as he buries his face against you. He sucks your clit between his lips and ruts his hips against the end of the bed, hearing you cry out for him.Â
âTaste so fuckinâ good.â Chan was muttering to himself, but he knew you could hear him. Your fingers were laced in his hair. You were pulling him closer between your legs and he wasnât going to disappoint. His teeth tug at your soft lips, letting them go before he dips his mouth lower and forces his tongue into your dripping hole.Â
You were clenching down on his tongue and practically screaming Chanâs name as he groaned like an animal against your pussy. No one had ever come close to making you feel like it. You could remember faking orgasm after orgasm with different partners, but you knew in your soul youâd never have to do that with Chan.Â
Running his tongue back up to your clit, Chan grins against your skin before he sucks the bud back into his mouth and you let out a silent scream this time as your orgasm rips through you like a wave. Your thighs were closed around his head. Each breath in from his nose made his lungs scream for more, but he didnât force your legs apart until you came to a stop with your back arched high.Â
Not wasting a bit of your cum, Chan licks his lips clean and stares up at you from between your legs. Your breasts were rising and falling hard. You looked just about as ruined as he wanted you, but his cock was going to explode if he didnât get inside of you. He knew there was more to talk about, but his brain was going a million miles an hour as he slid between your legs and pressed his tip against your clenched pussy. He wasnât going to force himself inside of you. He waited until you were relaxed enough to welcome him in before he buried his cock in you to the hilt.Â
A tired but pleased gasp escapes your lips when Chan fucks you slow, making you feel almost overwhelmed with how full you are. No one else mattered and it seemed like he knew it as he groaned against the shell of your ear, relishing in the feeling of you surrounding him.Â
âYouâre mine, Y/N. Even if itâs just for tonight.â Chanâs voice has a layer of sadness that you want to banish away from him, but before you can find the words, he thrusts into you again, finding a steady pace and you forget how to even speak. His lips find yours, his tongue gliding along yours as his hand pulls your leg tighter to his side, letting him fuck you hard and deep.Â
Words get lost between the both of you. You both fall into the rhythm and the feeling of your skin against his. You start to think that thereâs no way you can cum again, but once again Chan refuses to give up, his cock so deep and so perfect that after a few minutes you feel that coil tightening and threatening to snap. âPâPleaseâŠâÂ
Furrowing his brows tightly as you beg him for release, Chan groans, burying his face against your neck, his lips finding the soft skin there as he nips and sucks at it. Heâd give you the fucking world. Heâd tear it down piece by piece and rebuild it for you if you only asked for it. Reaching between your body and his, Chanâs fingers find your clit, and he rubs the bundle of nerves in a tight circle, feeling your thighs start to shake once again. The moment your orgasm rips through you, he has to force himself not to follow. You were clenched around him so tightly it took effort to thrust into you. You were acting like you never wanted to let him go, and by god, heâd stay inside you for the rest of his fucking life if that were possible.Â
You feel Chan try to pull from you, his groans becoming breathy as his own climax tries to take him over that edge. A whine slips from your lips, and you wrap your leg around his back, urging him to stay inside you. Meeting his eyes, you see the question in his gaze, and you simply nod and whisper "please" once more. Chanâs brows furrow, and he lets out a sigh of your name before pressing his lips to yours, burying himself inside of you hard once more, letting his cum spill into you.Â
Moments slip by without a spoken word. You both fight to catch your breath, and Chanâs hands trace the contours of your body before he finally slips from you and lies at your side. This was the part you were afraid of. This was always the scary part; it didnât matter who the man was in your bed, they would either stay or leave, and nine times out of ten in your experience, they left. But this was Chan. Chan, who had slept in your bed a hundred, possibly a thousand, times in the time since you had become friends. It was Chan who was looking at you like you hung the fucking stars in the sky as his fingers traced your swollen jaw with so much care you felt like glass under his touch.Â
âDoââ Swallowing your words, you turn on your side to face Chan as he lifts his brows in question, urging you to keep going. âDo you really love me?â You watch as his brows soften before he pulls you closer and kisses you softly. There is so much said in that kiss that it almost breaks your heart.Â
âMore than anything. For the rest of my fuckinâ life. Even if you never look at me like this again. Even if I never get you like this again⊠Iâll always love you.âÂ
Tears fill your eyes, and you whine his name, pushing him away so you can hide the tears. You bury your face against his chest, and Chan runs his hand along your back, soothing you and begging you not to push him away. How was this real? You didnât deserve it. You didnât deserve Chan, but you loved him so much that it took your breath away. So finally you tell him that and you watch his lips fall open in a breathless sigh before he cups your chin and presses his lips to yours with meaning, hoping youâll understand how important this moment is to him.Â
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Just Better (teaser)
pairing; lee chan x f reader
genre;Â angst, smut, toxic, fluff
content warnings; toxic relationship, mild abuse, yelling, crying, depression, eating/drinking, smoking, jealousy, possessiveness, uncomfortable smut
smut warnings; protected sex, unprotected sex, oral (f & male giving/receiving), fingering, impact play, pussy spanking, dom!chan, sub!reader, rough sex, dirty talk/praise, big dick!chan, as always if there are things i missed let me know
w/c;Â 26k (full fic with Patreon Bonus) -- teaser 1.4k
song inspo; just better - a.c.e
summary; You have been friends with Lee Chan since you were in the second grade. He shouldn't be in love with you, but he is. He shouldn't be jealous of your boyfriend, but god... he isâespecially when he knows he could be better.
a/n;Â thank you june for proofreading! i love you so much! i hope you guys enjoy this one and i do apologize for the delay in posting.
this fic will be released 10/1 to read the full fic with the bonus now, subscribe to my patreon and click here
Saturday rolled around too quickly for Chanâs liking. It wasnât just that he knew what your plan was with this trip to the bar, but that Ian was coming along. He had been looking forward to tonight for days, and the moment he learned about Ianâs insistence to tag along, the night was ruined. Chan knew he could have told you that he didnât want your boyfriend there, but how would that go over? So instead, Chan tugged at his jacket as he looked in the mirror, deeming himself dressed. He didnât have high hopes for the evening.Â
You, on the other hand, were over the moon. Not only were you on a mission to get Chan a date but now Ian was actually making time for you. Leaning against your dresser, you close one eye, carefully applying your eyeliner as you listen to Ian from the other room. He had shown up about an hour early but again you werenât complaining. Getting time with him lately was like pulling teeth. You knew that your boyfriend was a popular guy. He had tons of friends and he enjoyed his job, but sometimes you wished heâd pick you over a night out with work friends or whatever it was he did.Â
âYou listening to me, baby?â Huffing into his words, Ian leans against the door frame to your bedroom as he watches you. You were gorgeous and tonight it seemed like you were putting in some extra effort. He was doing his best to tell him that was because of him. âThat dress is pretty. It new?âÂ
You smile at Ian from your mirror and shift your weight to your other leg as you repeat the process on your other eye. âYeah, I got it yesterday after work. You really like it?âÂ
How could he not? It was tight in all the right places and had his mind wandering as his eyes moved over your pretty legs. âYeah, I like it. Itâs a little tight.â Ian sees your smile fade slightly, but you still manage to seem unaffected by his words. âIâm just sayinâ that maybe itâs not a dress for tonight. I mean, this is about trying to find a chick for Chan, right? Why you gotta get all dolled up for him?âÂ
You hated when Ian did that. When he acted like there was something between you and Chan. He was jealous of your best friend and it upset you. âNoâI⊠Iâm dressed up for you, babe. I wanna look pretty for you. âSides, I donât really wanna go out looking shabby.â Pouting as you put the cap back on your eyeliner, you avoid Ianâs eyes as you whine into your words. âYou want me to change?âÂ
God, he couldnât stand when you were whining. You did it more often than his liking. At first it was cute, but the moment he said one thing that didnât go in the way you wanted it to, you were whining and crying. You did a good job at making him feel like the bad guy when it wasnât really his fault he had a life outside of you. Shaking his head, Ian moves to stand behind you, sliding his hands along your waist to pull you back against him. âCourse not. You do look pretty, baby. You look too pretty, but thatâs alright. Wear what you want.âÂ
You smile, feeling Ianâs lips against your neck, his fingers kneading into your stomach as he takes a deep breath of your perfume. Times like this you felt like a million bucks. Sure, he could make you sad, but then heâd spend time with you like this and all that sadness would fade away. ââKay. Thank you.âÂ
Humming softly against your soft skin, Ian hides how he rolls his eyes at your response. You were spoiled and it had to be his fault. Forever his bratty little baby. âMm, anything for you, doll.â Moving back from you a bit, Ian lets his eyes move over your face in the mirror and down to your chest, where your breasts were being held up and tight by your dress, giving you mouthwatering cleavage. He should enjoy it and maybe he would if he were the one going to see it. âMaybe wear a jacket, though. Your tits are out.âÂ
It doesnât surprise Chan when you and Ian show up later than planned. He had already been sitting at the bar nursing a whiskey for around half an hour before he heard your voice call his name. He isnât able to hide his smile when you carefully move between people to make your way over to him. Chan simply sighs and opens one arm for you, letting you hug him from the side as he feels Ianâs eyes linger on you both a bit too fiercely.Â
âAny luck yet?âÂ
Ianâs voice seems bored when he speaks to Chan, drawing his attention away from you and up to him as he takes a seat one stool away from him. At least he had left a stool for you, but the way he pulled you away from him told Chan everything he needed to know. Ian was in a mood and he wasnât tolerating Chan tonight. How you didnât seem to be affected by his attitude was a mystery, but Chan forces himself to smile as he shakes his head. âNah. Ainât been here too long.âÂ
Forcing himself not to roll his eyes, Ian offers Chan a tight smile instead as you sit between the two of them shrugging your jacket off. It was hot in the bar but the idea of you with all that skin showing causes the smile on Ianâs face to fall into a tight line. Though he doesnât say anything, it seems his eyes on you are enough to have you tugging your dress up on your chest.Â
Chan lets himself get a good look at you and you take his breath away. You were always stunning but he had never seen you in this dress. It was perfect on you even as you fought with the deep cut of the neck that displayed your breasts so well. If this was anyone else and a different time, youâd have him on his knees for you begging for a single chanceâbut life wasnât fair, and he could feel Ianâs judging eyes.Â
âBaby, letâs go dance.âÂ
Already slipping out of his chair, Ian reaches for your hand as you whine. You two had just got there and you were on a mission. âIâyeah, okay. Channie, come with us?âÂ
Chan didnât need to see the look on Ianâs face to have him turning you down. It hurt to see that smile fade from your lips but Chan is quick to cover his own disappointment as he gestures around the bar. âChecking out prospects. You go have fun, sweetheart.âÂ
You glance around the bar, seeing the few pretty girls that Chan had to be referencing, before biting at your bottom lip. This was what you wanted, so why did it make your stomach hurt? âAlright. Good luck!âÂ
Watching Ian guide you into the middle of the small dance floor, Chan watches your smile brighten as you start to dance. He should look away and give you and Ian privacy, but instead he brings his drink to his lips and sips to cover his sigh.Â
âSheâs pretty. That guy steal your girl?âÂ
The womanâs voice is sultry as she slides onto the stool that had just been yours. Glancing to his left, Chan gives her a quick once-over before shaking his head to answer her question. âNah. Nothinâ like that.â The woman was pretty. She was wearing a tight red dress that left little to the imagination. Her long black hair was shiny and it looked soft, but Chan feels that pit in his stomach getting larger as he even considers her.Â
He had intrigued her. He was one of, if not the most, attractive guys in the bar tonight and he had his eyes on some girl dancing with an equally hot man. Yet he was telling her that the girl he had his eyes fixed on wasnât his. Maybe he wanted her to be, or maybe he just needed someone to help him forget. âI see. Iâm Gabriela.â Offering him her hand, Gabriela smiles brightly, enjoying the moment that Chan finally looks at her, turning on his stool away from the girl he couldnât have.Â
âChan.â Despite the pit in his stomach, Chan remembers the reason you had begged him to come out tonight. He had hoped for one thing, you and him alone to just enjoy another night out, but had gotten another as Ian kissed at your neck for everyone to see. Keeping his eyes on Gabriela, Chan swallows hard and gives in to whatâs easy. âWhat you drinkinâ, gorgeous?âÂ
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White Blank Page
pairing;Â choi seungcheol (s.coups) x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), angst, royalty AU, fairy tale spinoff
summary;Â You had met Prince Seungcheol of Tsornoia twice in your life and now you were going to be his wife. You would be queen and share in everything his life meantâthe good and the bad.
content warnings; fairy tale au (snow white), royalty au, prince!seungcheol, princess!reader, prince!joshua, duke!jeonghan, butler!seungkwan, evil queen, evil stepmother, arranged marriage, dark themes, blackmail, attempted murder, poisoning, horses, falling off a horse, pregnancy, miscarriage, eating/drinking, alcohol, crying, fightingâthis one reminds us that fairy tales aren't always happy.
smut warnings;Â unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral, breeding kink (sue me its a cheol fic), crying from pleasure -- if there is something i missed let me know.
w/c;Â Â full fic with Patreon bonus 26.6k
song inspiration;Â white blank page - mumford and sons
a/n; thank you to @junkissed for proofreading. this fic kicked my ass i won't even lie. i love it but i am also happy to finally get it out to you. i enjoyed writing the beauty and the beast spin off for fatal trouble and this snow white spin off was just as interesting to write! thank you all for reading and being patient.
A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink You desired my attention But denied my affections, my affections
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The paper felt like it weighed a ton in Seungcheolâs hands. It wasnât that he didnât wish or want to marry you, but this wedding seemed rushed. Neither the bride nor the groom had much say in how anything would take place, and Seungcheol had been given very little opportunity to speak with you leading up to the day. In truth, he had only spoken to you a handful of times, and now, by the end of the day, youâd be his wifeâhis future queen.Â
The first time he had met you, neither of you were old enough to realize what your future would be. You were a cute girl dressed far too regal for your age. Despite being just two years younger than Seungcheol, you seemed so young and fragile in his eyes. Seungcheol had been raised to be strong of will and body; you had been raised to match the beauty that had been evident from the time you had been born.Â
âBe gentle with her. She isnât your friend, Seungcheol. She is their princess. She may be your future bride.âÂ
Seungcheol could remember turning his nose up at the idea. He had been far too young to care about a wife. He had wanted to play with you like he would with any of his other friends. That was until the two of you were running around the palace garden and you tripped, cutting your knee. Then Seungcheol realized playing with a girl, especially a pretty princess like you, was different than playing with one of the rugged sons of a duke.Â
âStop cryingâŠâÂ
Your eyes were wide as blood began to run down your leg towards your ankle. Big tears rolled down your cheeks, dripping onto the front of your dress. Seungcheol was beginning to panic. He had been told to be careful, and he had done the exact opposite.Â
âPlease⊠Youâre gonna get me in trouble, Princess. âM sorry!âÂ
You attempted to suck back your tears, but the more you tried and the more that Seungcheol begged you to stop crying, the harder they fell. Moving to his knees, Seungcheol pouted before taking out his small handkerchief and tediously began cleaning the blood from your leg.Â
âThâthank you.âÂ
You had spoken through your tears. The sound of your shaky voice had almost broken Seungcheolâs heart. You really were as fragile and gentle as you seemed.Â
âY/N!âÂ
You and Seungcheol had looked towards the frantic voice. A boy of his same age had all but pushed Seungcheol out of his way and settled at your side. He was clearly upset, his fingers carefully checking your skin around the angry cut.Â
âWhat happened? What did you do to her?âÂ
Seungcheol had started to speak and to defend himself when he found himself staring at you in surprise.Â
âShua! No. I fell down. Prince Seungcheol didnât do anything bad.â You had always had your big brother wrapped around your pinky. You were his only sibling and his pride and joy. âDonât be mad, âkay? See, Iâm not crying anymore.âÂ
It was difficult for Seungcheol or Joshua to hide their smiles as you wiped your wet cheeks and smiled so sweetly to prove your point.Â
âIâyou gotta be more careful, Y/N. You got blood on your dressâŠâ Joshuaâs brows had furrowed, concern deeply written in his eyes as he helped you stand. âMyâPrince Seungcheol, look, Iâm sorry. Itâs my job to watch her, and then I heard her crying. Our dad would literally kill me if somethinââÂ
âI get it. You donât have to apologize to me. Iââ Meeting your pretty eyes, Seungcheol cleared his throat and sighed into his words. âI wouldnât ever hurt her on purposeâŠâÂ
Seungcheol had meant those words, and he had kept that promise into the second meeting with you. He had just turned 19, and you were truly the belle of the ball. He had moved past childish notions of how he felt about girls, and youâyou had taken his breath away.Â
âGood evening, Princess.âÂ
Your smile was the same, just like your eyes. You were kind. Your kingdom loved and cherished you. Many other kingdoms had begun showing interest, and once again Seungcheolâs parents reminded him that you might be his queen one day. It all seemed so silly at the time. He wasnât anywhere close to being ready to marry, and yet as he looked at you in a grand ballroom, he considered it.Â
âPrince Seungcheol. Itâs an honor to see you again.â You werenât lying. You had thought about Choi Seungcheol many times over the years, and as you grew up, his face had stayed with you. âThough you are much bigger than the last time we met.âÂ
Just like your smile, your laugh was sweet and melodic. It was the type of sound that made Seungcheolâs heart tighten. He found himself wanting to hear it again, as often as possible. Laughing quietly into his own words, Seungcheol offered you his arm, allowing him to guide you towards the dance floor. âIâwell, yes. Iâve grown, as have you.â He knew it was bold, but a sense of pride was flowing through him like waves of light as bright as your smile. âI mean, youâve grown in beauty, though surely you know.âÂ
You felt eyes on you and Seungcheol as you let him lead you to the middle of the floor. His attention was like standing next to an open flame. No matter where you looked, you always found yourself drawn back to his dark brown eyes. âOh⊠Iâthank you. Iâm not sure I would say that about myself. Iâm merely commââÂ
âThere is nothing common about you, Y/N.âÂ
It was the first time he had called you by your name. The sound of it on his lips was enough to leave you breathless. You werenât a fool. You knew what you meant to the princes of the surrounding kingdoms, but this was Choi Seungcheol of Tsornoria. You were common compared to himâeveryone was. âYou are too kind, your highness. You flatter me.âÂ
Seungcheol found himself that day wondering if your cheeks would be hot to the touch after receiving his compliments. You were so endearingly shy. It was obvious how innocent you still were, and yet Seungcheol dared to test his limits with you. He had lifted his hand and brushed away the hair on your cheek; to his pleasant surprise, your skin was as warm as it would be if you had been sitting by a fire.Â
âPerhaps, but itâs not a lie. Are you not aware of how many other princes here are plotting my demise at this moment?â Amused with your reaction, how you scanned the room looking for danger, Seungcheol laughed softly and carefully grasped your waist, leading you with the music. âI mean that every man in this room wishes they were in my place. They wish they were the one dancing with you.âÂ
You werenât so naive that you didnât know what this ball was for. You were coming of age in a few short years, and soon negotiations would begin. You would be marrying someone in this room, the thought of which terrified youâuntil you met Seungcheolâs eyes again. âPerhaps. But I chose to dance with you.âÂ
Since that day, Seungcheol had known that this might eventually happen, but things were different. It had been close to ten years since that ball, and suddenly overnight it was real. Seungcheol wanted to be happy, perhaps even excited about this marriage, but something was nagging him in the back of his head.Â
For the past few years, different arrangements had been in the works. He had lost any hope that you would end up his bride, but each one of the arrangements had failed. It had all started after his father passed away and he became the crown prince. His motherâhis stepmother, the queenâhad taken over for his father, and Seungcheolâs life was turned on its head.Â
âI want this entire hall prepared for the Hong family. Itâs of utmost importance!âÂ
Seungcheol could feel the beginnings of a headache behind his eyes, and the sound of his stepmotherâs voice only made it worse. She had fought for so many of the previous arrangements to just suddenly change her mind when your family had finally accepted.Â
It wasnât exactly hidden how much money she had spent since her husbandâs death. The kingdom was suffering for her indulgence, and its only saving grace was that Seungcheol was going to take his place at the throne. Once he took his birthright, he would have access to the money that was left to him by his fatherâmoney that his stepmother would never have the right to while he was breathing.Â
Now the fact that Seungcheol was standing around with his head in his hands only fueled his stepmotherâs annoyance. He had a job to do. There may not have been much, in her not-so-humble opinion, that Seungcheol was good at, but at least he had his fatherâs looks.Â
âChoi Seungcheol!âÂ
Closing his eyes tighter to the sound of his stepmotherâs voice, Seungcheol sighs and takes a moment before he finally looks up to meet her gaze. She looked frustrated. That didnât surprise him. Since his father had died, behind closed doors, she had always had a resentful look in her eyes where he was concerned. âWhat have I done nowâ-âÂ
The words had been said out of exhaustion, but Seungcheolâs stepmother took them as what she knew them to beâmalice. âThat is in fact the question. After all Iâve done for you. All the plans that I have made for your future to be prosperous, and you stand here looking like this is a funeral instead of a wedding. Have you made an effort to prepare yourself to greet your bride?âÂ
This was how many of the conversations went with his stepmother. She sucked all the air out of the room and took up all the words. Seungcheol simply sighs and allows her to continue, knowing he wouldnât get in a word either way, at least not until she deemed it the time. Soon he would be king, and perhaps then things would change. Perhaps then his stepmother would give him the respect he deserved.Â
âOf course you havenât. You stand here sulking like a child. You arenât a child, Seungcheol! You are to be crowned after this wedding. Act like the king your father raised you toââÂ
âEnough, Mother!â It was bold of Seungcheol to raise his voice, but the mention of his father struck a nerve. He would give anything for his father to still be here and to be alive. Heâd offer his soul to have his father share this day with him instead of his stepmother. If his father were here, perhaps it would feel like a joyous occasion. âI will go greet her and her family as soon as they arrive. You donât have to worry about such things. Isnât there a bottle of wine to drink or a maid to yell at?âÂ
Fire burns behind her eyes as Seungcheolâs stepmother watches him straighten his jacket and start to move away from her. He was spoiled and not even close to being ready for the responsibilities that were coming his way. âSpineless⊠How dare you mock me, Choi Seungcheol! Do as you were taught and at least pretend to be a human before you greet her. We canât handle yet another princess fleeing at the thought of marrying you. The kingdom canât withstand the shameâŠâÂ
Shame⊠What a funny way to put it. In Seungcheolâs mind, much of the kingdomâs shame came from their queen. He had spent years cleaning up after his stepmother, including all of the previous arrangements that had fallen through. He had tried to find his wife within his stepmotherâs long list of princesses, and yet there was always a flaw that she would find. It was as if she was looking for one thing to set them or their family apart from the rest. Each and every one would begin to leave dejected either days before a wedding or sometimes on the wedding day itself. If it werenât for Seungcheol, many of those failed unions would have resulted in resentment, but he followed up with each one, making it as right as he could with each family.Â
âYour Highness, theyâre here.âÂ
Taking a breath and feeling the tension in the room lessen, Seungcheol nods to Boo Seungkwan, thankful for the butlerâs presence. Though the man was new to his position, he had learned everything from his father before and seemed to have a keen eye for when he was needed most.Â
âVery well. Letâs greet my bride and her family, SeungkwanâŠâÂ
Simply being out of the same room as his stepmother did wonders for Seungcheolâs mood. He hadnât always been the seemingly stoic, tortured man he was now, and if given the chance to know him, people found he was quite the opposite. Seungcheol was similar to his father in more than his looks. His father had been beloved by his kingdom and the entire palace staffâSeungcheol was the same. Both men were known to go above and beyond to put the welfare of their citizens above their own and both were like candles being snuffed out slowly. Up to the day he died, Seungcheolâs father had worked his fingers to the bone for his kingdom. The loss of their king was felt not only by Seungcheol and the palace staff but also by every citizen of Tsornoria and the surrounding kingdoms.Â
âAre you alright, Your Highness?âÂ
Seungkwanâs words, laden with concern, bring a smile to Seungcheolâs face as he walks side by side with the man through the halls towards the main entrance. âI always am. You donât have to worry so much about me, Seungkwan. Youâll get wrinkles.â Smirking to himself, Seungcheol watches Seungkwanâs brows furrow out of habit to the teasing. âYou already look older than me and you are even younger than our soon-to-be queen.âÂ
While Seungkwan knew his place, he was no stranger to Seungcheolâs teasing. He was younger, and yet in many ways he acted beyond his yearsâthat didnât mean he had lost his spunk. âI donât have wrinkles. You have wrinklesâŠâÂ
The words are muttered under his breath but still heard by Seungcheol, who chuckles playfully, leaning to bump his shoulder against the butler's. âYouâre right, I do. 29 years old and I look like an old man already.âÂ
Shaking his head, Seungkwan gives Seungcheol an incredulous look. It was clearly a joke. Anyone with eyes could see that Seungcheol was the picture of health and good genes. He had the ability to make any man feel inferior by simply being in the same room. âWell, you said it, not me.âÂ
Seungcheolâs chuckle softly grows into a much-needed laugh. Patting Seungkwan on the back, he grins fondly at the other man before taking in a deep, calming breath. âThank you for never changing, Seungkwan. I hope you still treat me like this even after they give me my fatherâs crown.âÂ
âItâs your crown, Your Highness, and they arenât giving it to you.â Seungkwan understood what Seungcheol was trying to say, but he had spent hours, if not days, trying to get this point through the princeâs thick skull. âThey will be honoring your birthright. That crown is and was yours from the moment you were born.âÂ
Another fond smile spreads across Seungcheolâs lips as he nods once again, gently squeezing Seungkwanâs shoulder. âPerhaps.âÂ
Your heart was in your throat. Everything was bigger than you were used to. The buildings were in the sky and you were having a hard time looking like you belonged in Tsornoria.Â
âCome on, Y/N.âÂ
You were lucky that your brother was beside you. Joshuaâs expression hadnât changed from the time that your family had received the call for you. He was almost unreadable, and yet he was a rock at your side, keeping you steady.Â
Humming under your breath, you put on a smile and take his arm to walk beside him towards the open palace doors. âItâs different here, right?âÂ
Joshua glances around for the first time, allowing himself to take in his surroundings. He had been so focused on youâon this entire situationâthat he hadnât really taken a breath. âMmm, it is. Pretty in an overwhelming way.â Sighing into his words, Joshua then turns to smile at you, watching your fake smile become a real one. âYouâll get used to it over time, but then how will I get you to come home for a visit?â Gesturing towards one of the skyscrapers to the far left of the palace, he lifts his brows. âYouâll learn to live in the clouds and wonât want to come back to Eberik for anything.âÂ
The smile on your lips fades with Joshuaâs words. You knew he was right about you getting used to Tsornoria, but he was wrong about everything else. âIâm just as interested in the sky as I am everything on the ground, Shua. Eberik is my homeââÂ
âWas your home, Y/N⊠Donât let the Queen hear you say that.âÂ
Your brother was right. You knew that the Queen of Tsornoria was formidable and full of pride. It was almost a crazy thought that soon enough youâd hold that title. How were you going to step into her shoes and hold up that mantle? It seemed impossible. It seemed exhausting.Â
The entire trip from Eberik, one thing had kept your spirits highâyou would see Seungcheol soon. Perhaps it was childish to still hold a candle for him, but the closer you had gotten to Tsornoria, the more real it all seemed. You had played pretend so many times as a child and many of those fairy tales from your mind were just like this. You were going to be Seungcheolâs wife. You were going to see him again and you just hoped that he even remembered you.Â
âGod, heâs gotten even bigger. Whatâs the point?â Joshuaâs voice is muffled under a sigh as he makes eye contact with Seungcheol just inside of the palace doors. He could feel you straighten your posture at his side and for some reason that made him feel even more frustrated. You were excited about thisâJoshua was not. It wasnât that he didnât know heâd have to give up his little sister at some point, but why did it have to be to Choi Seungcheol?Â
In Joshuaâs mind, you were too good for this prince. You were too precious to become the wife and queen to someone with his reputation. If it hadnât been for the Queen herself reaching out to your father and Joshua, this wedding wouldnât be taking place.Â
âOh⊠Heâs handsome, Shua. Do I really look okay?âÂ
Nausea takes hold of Joshua at your words. You were still so childish in his eyes. Marriages were built on convenience and power. Your marriage was no different, but the fact that you clearly felt something for Seungcheol made this worse. âYou look beautiful. Heâd be a fucking idiot not to see that.â
Lightly nudging against Joshua when he curses, you feel your cheeks begin to burn. Seungcheol was looking at you so intentlyâof course he was. You knew that you were on a trial for the next few hours until you walked down that aisle. There was always something that could go wrong and you could be sent back to Eberik with your head between your legs out of shame.Â
âYour Highness, Princess Y/N of Eberik.âÂ
Seungcheol scoffs at Seungkwanâs announcement of your name and title. While he knew it was tradition, it seemed so silly. He knew who you were. God, heâd have to have his brain removed from his head and scrubbed clear to forget you. Somehow you were even more beautiful with age from the last time he had seen you at the ball.Â
âPrince Seungcheol ofââÂ
âShe knows who I am, Seungkwan. Thank you.â Taking his time down the palace steps, Seungcheol ignores the glare from the butler as he makes his way down to you. âAnd I know her. Princess, welcome to Tsornoria.â
It felt impossible for you to breathe when Seungcheol stood in front of you expectantly. You knew there were words you were supposed to say, but nothing was left in your brain as he smiled at you and lowered his head out of respect.Â
âSheâs honored to be here, your highness. Our entire family is honoredâŠâÂ
While the words seemed forced, Seungcheol still smiles as he turns his attention to the man on your arm. He knew who he was and he could see the daggers behind Joshua Hongâs eyes. Lifting his hand towards your brother, Seungcheol once again nods his head respectfully and sighs into his words. âThe honor is mine, I can assure you.âÂ
Joshua couldnât argue with that as he took Seunghcheolâs hand into his and firmly gripped it. âMm, yes.â Not wanting to be the first person to let go, Joshua tilts his head and meets the princeâs eyes almost defiantly. He was a prince himself. Perhaps he wasnât the prince next in line for a kingdom like Tsornoria, but the pride he held for his own kingdom would level Seungcheolâs entire ego. When his hand is released, Joshua considers holding tighter but instead lets go so he can turn his attention back to you as Seungcheol does the same. You looked like a fish out of water, your eyes wide as you stared at your soon-to-be husband in front of you. Where you were feeling awe and a rejuvenation of your childhood crush, Joshua simply saw uneasiness written on your face.Â
âCome, I can show you around, Princess.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, you feel your cheeks heat up just from Seungcheolâs words. You were a princess. The title had never made you feel like this before; it was only when he said it. âO-okay. Iâd like that.âÂ
Joshua takes a step forward when you do. His eyes fall to your hand now in Seungcheol's, and he feels bile rise in his throat. Was this really worth it? Was what the family promised for your dowry worth you losing your soul to this man? Meeting Seungcheolâs questioning eyes, Joshua narrows his own deviantly.Â
âIâm okay, Shua.â You lean to press a soft kiss to your brotherâs cheek that seems to calm him down for a moment. He had always been too protective of you, but it had gotten worse over the past few years. âIâll see you soon.âÂ
With your hand in his, Seungcheol furrows his brows and begins to guide you into the palace, leaving Joshua and Seungkwan behind. It didnât seem to matter how far inside the expansive hallway the two of you got; he could still sense Joshuaâs eyes lingering on him. What had that been about? Was he just that protective of his family or was there something more that he needed to get to the bottom of before the dayâs big events began?Â
Letting his eyes slowly move along your pretty face, Seungcheol smiles at how lucky he feels suddenly. You were shaking, your hand was delicate in his, and yet the feeling was addictive. âYou must be very loved by your family, Y/N.â Gesturing behind you, Seungcheolâs smile grows into something fond but teasing. âI was almost afraid he would beat me for taking you away.âÂ
A breath escapes your lips on a slight laugh. You knew that Seungcheol might not be wrong, but you werenât going to admit thatâespecially not to him. âOh⊠No! Joshua would never do something like that. Heâs happy that Iâm getting married.âÂ
That was the first lie you had told Seungcheol today, but he was going to let it go by without calling you out on it. It was evident to anyone in or around the palace that Joshua wasnât pleased with this arrangement, but more pointedly, your would-be husband. âAh. I see.âÂ
âMy entire family is excited, but if I can say so, no one is as excited as me. Iââ You laugh sweetly, causing Seungcheolâs cheeks to become fuller with a grin. âI honestly never thought this day would come. They hinted at it for nearly a decade and nowââ Glancing around you, then back up to Seungcheol, your cheeks burn from his attention. âItâs real.âÂ
You werenât wrong. Seungcheol had lost faith that this day would become a reality as well. He had spent many a lonely evening considering who might become his wife and every time you popped into his mind. He barely knew you and yet he was just as infatuated as you clearly were. Your sweet, innocent eyes were full of love as you looked at him and Seungcheol felt like he was going to happily drown in the feeling.Â
âIt is real and how lucky I am. By the end of the night I will have such a stunning wife.â You look away shyly, a smile still on your lips that has Seungcheolâs chest burning with desire. âSuch a beautiful queen by my side.âÂ
Starting to speak, the idea of becoming queen still not quite feeling real, you find yourself stopping to the sound of another voice. You had met the Queen once at your coming-of-age ball, but then her husband had been alive and she seemed genuine. The stories of her downfall were something that you had been warned about, and yet now you were seeing it firsthand. You remembered a bright woman with seemingly no malice in her eyes; now, however, you felt minuscule under her gaze.Â
âSeungcheol, I need Princess Y/N. Itâs time to prepare for the ceremony.â Forcing a tight smile in your direction, the Queen coos over you as she takes your free hand, guiding you towards her. âCome along, dear. Your family is waiting andââ
âSurely we have a bit more time to talk before we have to walk down the aisle, Mother.â Seungcheol was clearly annoyed as his stepmother attempted to take you from him. He had gotten no more than ten minutes alone with you since you had arrived and now you were being whisked away.Â
âNo, you donât. The days arenât as long as you would like them to be, darling. Besidesââ Finally managing to ease you to her side as you give Seungcheol a sympathetic look, the queen sighs into her words. âYouâll have her all to yourself soon enough. Donât be greedy. Itâs not a good look for someone of your standing. People might begin to wonder if youâve defiled her beforehand. We canât have that, Seungcheol.âÂ
You were standing right there and yet the queen didnât seem to acknowledge you more than keeping you close to her side away from Seungcheol. Her words send a shiver up your spine and have you looking down at the floor from shame. You had done nothing wrong, neither had Seungcheol, but still she had managed to make you feel like you were acting like a common whore.Â
âHonestly, Mother⊠Thatâs ridiculous. Nothing of the sortââÂ
âIt doesnât matter if it has happened or not. People talk, Seungcheol. Use your brain for once.â Offering you that same tight smile as before, the queen hums softly and urges you back in the direction you came from. âCome along. Time to become a bride.â Â
âSheâs very pretty, Cheollie. I see why you were so whipped for all these years.âÂ
Rolling his eyes at Yoon Jeonghanâs teasing, Seungcheol rolls his shoulders in an attempt to help Seungkwan get him ready. The suit was one of the nicest that he had ever worn, and that was saying something. He was used to any luxury he could think of, and yet his stepmother had gone all out for this royal wedding. It made sense to him at the end of the day, but he still felt like a big being fattened up and dressed for slaughter.Â
âJeonghan isnât wrong this time, your highness.â
Seungcheol had been prepared for most of Jeonghanâs teasing, but he wasnât ready enough for Seungkwanâs. He starts to speak only to roll his eyes once again when the other men start to squabble.Â
âKwannie, why do you call him âyour highnessâ and yet refuse to call me by my title?â There was a layer of sulking laced into Jeonghanâs words as he shifted on the chair, crossing his leg over the other, keeping his eyes on his best friends.Â
âBecause he is my prince. He will be my king. You are barely presentable as a duke.âÂ
This was better than the teasing. At least they were focused on one another instead of him. This gave Seungcheol time to think about you and about how you were one hall over getting into your wedding dress. The thought left him breathless and feeling like he was floating. You were really going to be his wife and it was happening in less than two hours.Â
âCheollie is daydreaming again. Is it about Y/N? I wouldnât blame you. I never thought this would actually happen.âÂ
Seungcheol knew all too well that no one thought it would. Every single other princess had been sent back home with their tail between their legs by his stepmother. It had many asking questions. Why you? Why now?Â
Pushing his feelings to the side, Seungcheol puts on a smile. It didnât really matter why. What really mattered was the fact that Seungcheol felt like he was winning for the first time in his life. âBest not to dwell on the why and just be happy itâs happening. If sheâs in a good mood and willing to let me move on with my life, Iâll count it as a gift. BesidesâŠâ The thought of you is enough to brighten Seungcheolâs smile as he watches Seungkwan adjust his cloak in the mirror. âY/N is my gift. Nothing could possibly go wrong with her by my side.âÂ
âYou will look beautiful, dear. Your mother would have loved to be part of this dayâŠâÂ
Your fatherâs voice pulls you out of your daze and brings a smile to your face. Even from behind the dressing curtain, you could feel a rush of pride throughout the room. Where Joshua seemed a bit stoic, perhaps even upset with the notion of you getting married today, your father was overjoyed. This marriage would mean so much for his kingdom and it would change your life in ways heâd never dream of being able to do.Â
âSheâs always beautiful. I donât understand the need for all the pomp and circumstance.â Sighing into his words, Joshua leans his head back and looks up at the ornate ceiling. âY/N deserves it, of course, but not when her betrothed is a piece ofââÂ
âJoshua! Thatâs enough. Youâve voiced your concerns more than onceââÂ
âAnd yet you both seem to be ignoring them.âÂ
The smile your fatherâs words had put on your face quickly fades as he and Joshua begin to argue once again. You do what you have learned to doâtune them out. You focus instead on trying to put on the finishing touches with the help of your maid. Her kind smile meeting yours in the mirror gives you the boost of strength you needed.Â
âYou really do look so beautiful, your highness.âÂ
There is a sadness in her voice that you try to lift with a kind smile of your own. âThank you. You could stay here with me⊠if you wanted.âÂ
Shaking her head, the girl flushes slightly as she glances around the dressing curtain, meeting Joshuaâs eyes. âNo, Iâm not as brave as you.âÂ
It didnât have anything to do with bravery. At first it was about honor and now it was more about excitement. You were going to start a new chapter in your life with your husband.Â
âIs she dressed?âÂ
Your maid nods before guiding you from behind the curtain, letting your father and brother look at you. Your fatherâs reaction to seeing you dressed in your wedding dress isnât surprising. He had always been a sentimental man so seeing tears prick at his eyes almost immediately is heartwarming. Joshua, on the other hand, stares at you for a long moment before rising to his feet and moving towards you.Â
âDo I look okay?âÂ
That was a stupid question. Joshua knew that you knew all too well how lovely you looked in your dress. You looked mature, like the royalty that you were. He knew you were asking more for him. His opinion was important to you and you needed to hear what he had to say. The words were easier thought than said. Saying them would let you believe he was placing his blessing upon this union; nothing could be further from the truthâand yet he smiles at you. âThe most beautiful bride there could ever beâŠâÂ
Standing in the spot that he never thought heâd be, Seungcheol felt his stomach tightening with nerves. There was just enough time for you or your family to refuse the union, but even as thousands of eyes lingered on him, Seungcheol had a good feeling that heâd see you walking towards him soon enough.Â
He had imagined how stunning you might be walking down the aisle towards him, but his imagination wasnât able to match reality. You took his breath away the moment the large doors to the cathedral opened. Music and coos from the crowd should bring Seungcheol back to reality, but he found himself staring at you in awe. The bright light peeking through the cathedral doors managed to truly make you look like the angel you were.Â
Dressed in white satin, silk, and delicate lace, you carefully walk down the aisle on your fatherâs arm. You knew you were supposed to smile. You were supposed to look overjoyed. None of that was difficult; your cheeks ached from how brightly you smiled, but instead of seeing anyone else in the cathedral, you only saw Seungcheol, never feeling his eyes leave you. Being a princess, you had been told your share of fairy tales, but now you felt like you were living one.Â
There were people speaking; you knew that you should be paying attention to what they were saying, but your father had placed your hands in Seungcheolâs. You had met his caramel eyes and felt like you were floating over the floor. A quiet laugh from the guests brings you back to the present as Seungcheol grins at you and moves his eyes towards the priest, guiding you to pay attention.Â
 "Choi Seungcheol, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep only to her, so long as you both shall live?"
This was a big promise to make to someone you barely knew, and yet Seungcheol didnât have to fake his answer. Looking at you, he felt like he was breathing for the first time. This was real and you were his. âI will.âÂ
Just two words and Seungcheol once again takes your breath away. He wanted you to be his wife. This wasnât just you playing make-believe in your chambers; this was forever.Â
"Y/N Hong, wilt thou have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep only to him, so long as you both shall live?"
Now Seungcheol was holding his breath as he waited for your answer. He could see it written in your eyes and yet the fear of rejection lingers. The moment âI willâ slips from your lips, he breathes deeply, almost overwhelmed by the calming scent of your perfume. You had really said yes. It was hard to listen to the priest as he went through the rest of the ceremony. Seungcheolâs eyes were locked with yours, only straying to your lips out of impatience until finally the priest said what he had been waiting to hear.Â
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. You may kiss your bride, your highness.âÂ
Your lips were like candy waiting for Seungcheol to taste. He wanted to deepen the kiss and enjoy the small sounds that only he could hear, but the cheering from the guests once again brought him back to the moment. He didnât have you to himself yet, but he could feel the bite of your ring against his fingers. He had put that ring there and thatâs where it would stay.Â
âWe did it.â Your voice is smaller than you intend, but Seungcheol manages to hear. A sweet smile pulls at his lips as he nods along with you.Â
ââYes, we did. Now I get to say what I wanted to all those years ago.â Seungcheol almost swoons when you smile at him, tilting your head questioningly. âRemember when we danced and I told you others would be plotting my demise?â With you on his arm, Seungcheol walks you back towards the cathedral doors as they reopen. âI wanted to say, let them try it. Iâd do anything for you.âÂ
It was hard for you not to think that Seungcheolâs words were just that, pretty words, but his hand never left yours. Even as the room started to fill full of people, your husband's hand either found yours or your waist, keeping you close to him. Every look from Seungcheol was akin to feeling the sun on your skin as he smiled at you so sweetly, moving you towards the center of the floor and taking you into his arms.Â
Neither of you had chosen the music or had any input on flowers, food, or even the guest listâyet none of that seemed to matter as Seungcheolâs thumb stroked yours as he danced with you. This was the same boyâthe same manâwho had danced with you at your debut ball, and yet now he was looking at you like you were his entire life. You had never pictured yourself falling in love with your husband on your wedding day as you danced, but that was exactly what was happening.Â
Tipping back another flute of champagne, Joshua narrows his eyes as you laugh softly at something Seungcheol is saying right against the shell of your ear. Did he have no manners? It didnât matter if the two of you were married now or not; certain things shouldnât be seen by the public, even at a wedding.Â
âYour sister seems pleased with her marriage.âÂ
Rolling his eyes at the comment from the familiar voice near him, Joshua starts to scoff and give some snarky comment back, but then he meets the queenâs inquisitive eyes. Lowering his head apologetically, Joshua clears his throat and puts his hand against his chest, feeling his heart start to race. âShe is, your majesty. We are thrilled to be part of your family. ThankââÂ
âEnough with the pleasantries. Walk with me?â Gesturing towards the door leading to the hall just outside of the ballroom, the queen offers Joshua a tight smile, letting him know he canât refuse.Â
âOâof course, maâam.â Putting his glass down, Joshua begins to move past the queen, ready to open the doors for her, when she takes his arm, keeping him by her side. âOh, IââÂ
âI said walk with me, not clear a path for me.â Nodding to keep Joshua moving toward the door, the queen sighs under her breath, giving one last look to you and Seungcheol before leading the man out of the room. âSince we are family now, Joshuaââ Smiling softly, she glances up at the younger man before shooing away her maid and continuing. âIâd like to think that we can share things in confidence. That perhaps you can be honest with me?âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Joshua swallows hard, feeling his palms becoming damp with nerves, his sense of danger heightened. âYes, of course, your majesty.â Daring to take a quick look around, seeing no one near them, Joshua barely meets the queenâs eyes before glancing down at the ground. âWhâwhat did you want to speak to me about?âÂ
It wasnât lost on her that Joshua was exceedingly handsome. He was nice to look at and if this had been another day, another circumstance, this conversation might have ended up with Joshua in her bed, but there was something more important that the queen needed the prince of Eberik for. âThis marriage, of course. Tell me your true feelings about your angelic sister marrying my son.âÂ
This felt like a trap. Joshua was standing at the mouth of a lionâs cage and any words that would leave his mouth were like raw meat dangling from his fingers as he taunted the beast. His brows furrow so deeply that itâs almost painful as he shakes his head and starts to speak, only to stop.Â
âGo on, and donât lie to me. I will know if you are lying.âÂ
Not wanting to disappoint the powerful woman on his arm, Joshua looks straight ahead and bites the bullet, letting the raw meat on his fingertips lure the lion closer. âWell, IâI should be pleased with it. Itâs a beneficial arrangement, but I have to admit I havenât heard many good things about your stepson, maâam.â Shifting very slightly, knowing his body temperature is rising from stress, Joshua clears his throat and closes his fists tightly. âMy sister is too good for him, frankly speaking.âÂ
If this were a normal conversation held in less friendly company, the queen knew that Joshua would be chastised, but they were alone for a reason. Humming out a sympathetic sound, she nods along with Joshua before leaning against him. âHe truly is a beast. Funny that you should call him my stepson before I even do. You are a bright boy.âÂ
Joshua felt confused as the queen spoke with malice towards her own son, be he a stepson or not. Still concerned this was a trap of some kind, Joshua shakes his head. âIâwell, I shouldnât speak that way aboutââÂ
âI asked for the truth and you delivered it, Joshua. There is no question of my feelings towards Seungcheol. My love for him died with his father. That is simply a fact.â Sighing softly as if asking for sympathy for herself, the queen finally meets Joshuaâs eyes with a slight pout on her lips. âNow he is nothing but a burden.âÂ
Slowing to a stop beside the queen, Joshua tilts his head, feeling a strange mix of feelings bubbling inside of him. In some ways he did feel sympathy for her, and in others, anger towards her. Why would she say this to him now after you had already said yes to a life by her stepsonâs side? Did she want to rub it in? Make him feel worse? âWhy are you telling me this?âÂ
Finally, Joshua was catching on. Maybe, just maybe, she could have an ally in her decisions going forward. âAs I said, you are a bright boy. Come, walk further with me. We have much to discuss.âÂ
Your cheeks were on fire as Seungcheolâs fingers gently pressed into your waist. He had spent the last ten minutes excusing you both, and now you were at the doorway leading to the hall inside your new home. You knew what came next. Perhaps not in the greatest detail, but you were a smart woman. You had listened well to tutors and even to your married friendâs advice, but now it all felt like a distant memory.Â
âOur rooms are connected.â Gesturing to the door on the furthest wall, Seungcheol leads you into the room and closes the door behind him. âThis is your roomâŠâ Glancing around it, he smiles before meeting your eyes. âDoâis it okay? You can decorate it how you see fit and I will always be just beyondââÂ
âWe wonât sleep in the same bed?âÂ
You were still so innocent and pure; that much was evident to Seungcheol as you looked around your room. âDoââ You made it hard to speak, to sound intelligent, as he cleared his throat and moved back closer to you, catching the end of your fingers in his own. âYou want to share a room? I thought perhaps youâd want privacy and the comforts of not having a man constantlyââ
âNot just a man. You are my husband, your highnessâŠâ You had started speaking so confidently until you met Seungcheolâs eyes and you felt as if you were standing in front of the sun. You had meant to call him Seungcheol and not use his title, but how could you speak so informally to someone like him when he was looking at you like that?
âPlease donât use titles with me. Not here⊠not after today.â Taking both of your hands, Seungcheol smoothes his thumb along your ring finger, catching the stone under the pad of his finger. âYouâre my wife and you will be queen very soon. No one is beneath you, least of all me.âÂ
The sun had begun to get low in the sky, causing a golden light to peek through the window and onto Seungcheolâs face. He was breathtaking and reminded you that he was yours. Nodding meekly, you whine, turning your face away from him only to feel his fingers gently catch your chin, turning you back.Â
âIt would be impossible not to fall in love with you. How did I get this lucky?âÂ
Taking a sharp breath, you feel your stomach tighten with Seungcheolâs words. You didnât know him as well as you would like and yet you could tell he wasnât lying. There was so much sincerity laced with his words that you felt your knees going weak from just hearing them. âYouâyouâre falling in love with me?âÂ
Guiding you backwards towards the long stool at the end of your bed, Seungcheol nods while slowly caressing your cheek with his thumb. âOh yes. The moment I saw you this morning, I knew it would be as easy as breathing to be in love with you. Then you actually said yes in that cathedralâŠâ Shaking his head, Seungcheol helps you sit down in front of him before he moves to his knees on the floor at your legs. âYou are my wife and I swear to treat you as you deserve to be treated, starting with tonight.âÂ
You lower your eyes to Seungcheolâs hands resting over your dress on your thighs. Feeling overwhelmed, your words get caught in your throat for a moment until you take a deep breath and try again. âIâm nervous. Iâwhat if Iâm bad at this?âÂ
That felt impossible to Seungcheol, but it was clear to see you were raised like a proper princess. Every movement he made, you would gasp and then quickly silence yourself, afraid to offend him with your growing desire. âYouâre already perfect, Y/N. Ifâif you donât want to do this tonight, I wouldnât blameââÂ
âI do! IâI want to. Iâm just nervous.â Sliding your hands to meet Seungcheolâs over your dress, you meet his eyes shyly. âJust be patient with me.âÂ
Seungcheol had been with other women before. Perhaps he should feel bad about that, but he also knew things were different for princesses and princes. It also didnât help that he had been so rebellious when it came to what his stepmother wanted from him. He couldnât count the times she had sent a poor servant into his room only to see them shy away in shame after seeing him naked and some girl either on his bed or on her knees in front of him. Now none of that seemed to matter. You werenât just some girl and this wasnât something to be ashamed of. You were his wife.Â
âI wouldnât dream of being anything else.â Moving his eyes along your neck and down to your chest, Seungcheol sighs under his breath in awe of you. The dress was the only thing you had input on for the wedding and you had chosen perfectly. It wasnât overly flashy for a royal wedding dress; instead, it matched your innocence in a way he couldnât even explain.Â
Tracing the lace along the inside of your shoulder, he smiles when you shiver as chill bumps erupt along your skin. âYou are so beautiful. Could Iââ Stopping himself before he starts, Seungcheol smiles at you, gaining his own courage before trying again. âIs it ok if I help you out of your dress?âÂ
You nod timidly before shifting forward just a bit as Seungcheol moves to his feet to sit next to you. Every gentle touch from him has your breath quickening, but itâs when his strong fingers begin to work each delicate button loose along your back. Glancing over to watch his expression change, you smile as his brows furrow in concentration and mild frustration.Â
âThere are so many buttons. How did you even manage to get into this dress without pulling your hair out?âÂ
Laughing softly, you shake your head as Seungcheol complains. âI had help getting dressed. It seemed easy for her to button all of them, but my maid is too kind to say otherwise.âÂ
Undoing button after button, Seungcheol pouts to himself until he reaches your lower back, feeling the last button give way. âYou were stunning in the dress, darling, but I think Iâd prefer less complicated clothing in the future.âÂ
Darling. Taking a deeper breath, you meet Seungcheolâs eyes as they lift to yours. You had been called your name, princess, and even his wifeâyet darling made your heart feel like it was going to explode. âOkayâŠâ Youâd give him anything he asked for. Youâd wear nothing but nightgowns that could be swept off your body in seconds if it meant he would look at you as he was now and if he kept calling you sweet names.Â
âCome here.â Moving to his feet, Seungcheol helps you do the same, though his eyes quickly fall from your face to your shoulder as your dress slips from it. A womanâs skin wasnât anything that had ever made Seungcheol feel weak before. Nothing as simple as an ankle or shoulder had ever made his cock throb against his pants, but then you. Carefully hooking his index finger under the shoulder of your dress, Seungcheol stops breathing as he helps gravity do its job.Â
The weight of the fabric on your body lifts as your dress pools in a large pile around your legs. Your first instinct is to look away from Seungcheol when you feel air against your skin, but his hand is quicker, keeping your face towards him.Â
âFuck, you are gorgeous. Here, take my hand.âÂ
Doing as you are told, you close your fingers around Seungcheolâs hand, letting him keep you steady as you step out of your dress and closer to him. Only white lace hid the parts of your body that you had been told were only for you and your husband to see. It seemed silly in that moment to feel ashamed as Seungcheolâs eyes moved over your body, but the burden of so many lessons growing up as a woman lay on your shoulders. âItâsâIâm cold.âÂ
Smiling to himself as he traces the chill bumps along your waist, Seungcheol nods along with your words. âAre you? Iâm sorry. I promise I will help you get warm in a moment.â Your fingers once again in his hand, he guides you to your bed and watches in awe as you lay back on the pillows, looking up at him expectantly.Â
Did any other woman before you even exist? Seungcheol knew they didnât matter anymore. No one would ever compare to how you look right now. Nothing could match the feeling of looking at his wife on the night of his wedding. âI wonât make you wait, love.âÂ
Your eyes were curious even as anxiety rippled through you like a wave. You couldnât make yourself look away as Seungcheol carefully undressed. Layer by layer more skin was revealed to you, but as his thumbs hooked into the top of his pants, you finally faltered. Pressing your lips together, you whine to the sound of your name drawing you back to your husband.Â
Just as there were no other women before you, Seungcheol knew he had never been this hard in his life. He was a good lover. He knew how to take care of a woman, putting their release before his own, but your eyes moving over his body had him feeling as if he had never touched another in his entire life. With just your eyes, you had Seungcheol willing himself not to cum as he stroked himself, once feeling arousal running through him.Â
Anatomy books and imagination couldnât prepare you for seeing Seungcheol like this. His body was chiseled from stone and as your eyes moved to his hand moving slowly over his cock, you once again felt nerves ripping through you. âIâm notâhow am IâŠ.â The words seem to fail you while your eyes follow Seungcheol towards your bed, but a quick look into his eyes tells you he understands.Â
âYou donât understand how impressive your body is yet, Y/N. You can handle so much more than you realize. May I?â Sliding his fingernail under the strap of your bra, he smiles when you do. Helping you sit up, Seungcheol hums in appreciation as he unhooks the band behind your back, feeling the lace give way in his hand. âI want to kiss you.âÂ
Meeting your eyes, Seungcheol watches you tilt your head back as if giving him permission. With a smile he nods before brushing his lips along yours and speaking against them. âNot just here. I want to kiss you all over your body, baby. You are so pretty that it hurts me. Itâs painful not to know what your skin feels like under my mouth.âÂ
Shying away from Seungcheolâs words, you gasp when you feel his thumbs move along the swell of your breast. It felt scandalous just hearing him speak to you like that, but when he acts on it, you find yourself back on your back and your breath caught in your throat.Â
It was becoming Seungcheolâs mission to coax more sounds from your lips. Each brush of his lips over your shoulder had you taking a sharp breath. When his lips move further down, your soft breast under his lips, Seungcheol groans at the moan that escapes you.Â
ââM sorryâŠâ Shaking your head, you let your hand hover over the back of his head as Seungcheol glances up at you with a question in his eyes. âIâm being so loud. IââÂ
âNever try to silence yourself, Y/N. You sound like an angel. I like it⊠no, I fucking love it.â Catching your nipple against his teeth, Seungcheol chuckles when you arch your chest towards him, another soft, breathy moan filling the air. âI want to hear how good you feel. You can be as loud as you want in our bed.âÂ
Gasping out a choked breath when you feel Seungcheolâs lips wrap around the sensitive, pert bud, you finally lace your fingers into his hair loosely. Our bed. Had he chosen to give you what you wanted? Would he stay in this bed with you forever?Â
Carefully lifting your hips so that he can rest his knee under your thigh, Seungcheol sucks lightly at your nipple before letting go with a low groan. His fingers trace the curves of your body down to your hips before he meets your eyes, looking for permission before he works the lace from between your legs.Â
âWaiâ just a second.â Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, taking in the feeling of Seungcheolâs fingers trailing along the outside of your thighs while keeping your legs tightly shut. You had feared, even for a moment, that your hesitation might upset him, but instead Seungcheol just nods and gently caresses your skin. Only when you feel yourself calming down enough to take a steady breath, do you open your eyes and find Seungcheol watching you with a caring look in his eyes.Â
âYou okay? We donât have to do anything. We can just sleep, darling.â Leaning to kiss your knee, Seungcheol smiles at the happy sound on your lips. âWe have all the time in the world.âÂ
He was right. There was no rush and still, as you lay in front of him feeling his patient touches along your skin, your own patience was thin. âIâm okay. Kiss me?âÂ
With no hesitation, Seungcheol furrows his brows and nods, moving to lay against you so he can cup the space where your neck and jaw meet. His lips brush over yours gently before he finally gives you the kiss he had been wanting to since you said youâd be his wife at the altar.Â
Time seems to stand still with that kiss. You loosely wrap your fingers around Seungcheolâs wrist as you part your lips for his tongue, letting him slowly explore your mouth. With each passing moment as Seungcheolâs fingers tenderly explore your skin, you realize he kept his promise and you arenât cold anymore. The feeling of being cold had been overshadowed by a burning desire for the man now resting over you. âTouch meâŠâÂ
Resting his forehead against yours, Seungcheol smiles at your whispered words. You trusted him enough to ask for something so precious and he wasnât going to disappoint you. Glancing down the span of your body, Seungcheol watches as your legs part even just slightly. If he had thought he had to work hard to hold himself back before, with that small gesture you had reawakened him.Â
âIâll do whatever you want, baby. If you donât like something, justââ Lifting your hand, Seungcheol puts it in his hair and closes your fist before tugging hard. âOr tell me.âÂ
Easing your grip on his hair, you nod before running your fingers over his hair, wanting to ease any pain he may have caused himself with your hand. âI think Iâll like anything youââ The first brush of Seungcheolâs fingers over your wet folds causes any thoughts to leave your head as it feels like a bolt of electricity rips through you. âOh my godâŠâÂ
It was difficult not to feel a swell of pride at your reaction. It had been such a simple touch. Seungcheol could barely feel how wet you were, but it gave him the confidence to do more. âSo prettyâŠâ Leaning on his elbow, he puts more pressure behind his touch before easing your soft lips apart between your legs.Â
Women were almost always soft and warm, but you were a new level of perfection. Holding back his own groan at the sight of how wet you are, Seungcheol shakes his head, turning his hand palm up so he can tease you and himself with the idea of his fingers inside of you. Carefully he nudges his knuckle against your entrance while watching your mouth fall open as your legs ease open just a bit more.Â
âHaveâ please donât be ashamed to answer me, okay?â Waiting for your nod as your eyes find his, Seungcheol circles your clenching hole before finally speaking again. âHave you ever done this to yourself? Wondered how it might feel when your husband took you to bed?âÂ
It was bold of Seungcheol to ask you something like that, but even as your cheeks flared with heat, you nodded, lifting your hips slightly only to roll them back down over his knuckle. âUh huh⊠Didnâtââ Swallowing your pride, you lift your arm and rest your forearm over your eyes, finding the strength to speak. âI didnât think it would feel this good.âÂ
Though Seungcheol would prefer to keep his eyes on yours, he allowed you the privacy as he looked back at his fingers between your legs. âYeah? It feels good. I havenât even gotten started yet.â With that, he finally works his first finger into you, feeling your warmth clench around it as a moan slips from your lips like honey. âGod, baby⊠I wish I could show you how pretty your pussy is around my finger. I know itâs a lot right now, but imagining this around my cockââ Swallowing hard, Seungcheol curls his finger back towards himself, feeling you spasm around him. âI donât know how long Iâll last.âÂ
A second finger slowly eases beside the first and you have to stop yourself from tightening your hand in Seungcheolâs hair. Instead you scratch at the bedding under you as his name mixes with a moan. You had never made yourself feel like this. Yes, you had made yourself feel good before, but this was on a different level that youâd never reached. âPlease? Do it. Put it in SeuâCheol⊠Please?âÂ
You were starting to slur your words but hearing his name shortened on your lips, even by mistake, caused Seungcheolâs cock to twitch against your thigh. You wanted him to fuck you, but you didnât really understand what that meant. You werenât ready. You were sucking his fingers back into you like your life depended on it, and his depended on not causing you any discomfort if he could help it.Â
âSoon, my love. Soon.â Kissing along your stomach to your hip, Seungcheol glances up at you to see your arm over your head, leaving your beautiful face on display. Even with your eyes closed, Seungcheol enjoyed this more. He could see your brows furrowed with pleasure as tears marked your cheeks.Â
Finally kissing your thigh, Seungcheol smiles against your skin when you jump in surprise at him being so far down your body. âHave to make sure youâre ready, and I want to taste you so bad. Who needs wedding cake when my wife looks like this in front of me?âÂ
Once again shying away from Seungcheol, you arch off the bed at the first gentle pass of his tongue between your folds. His fingers press into you deeper while his thumb alternates with his tongue, massaging your clit.Â
This was something you had never felt before. This wasnât something that even your married friends had told you to expect and yet you were overwhelmed with pleasure as Seungcheol groaned against your soft folds. Tightening your fingers in Seungcheolâs hair, you whine his name as your hips lift to put yourself flush with his mouth. You gasp for a full breath even as your thighs quiver with the aftereffects of your orgasm, leaving you dazed.Â
âThatâs itâŠâ Groaning into his words, Seungcheol glances back at the cum slipping around his fingers before easing them out and carefully licking you clean.Â
âAhâitâsâŠ. Cheol, I feel like Iâm going to pass out if you keep doing that.âÂ
Kissing your wet folds one more time, he then works his kisses to your thighs and finally upward, relishing in the sounds of your soft moans. Seungcheol wanted to be inside you. He wanted that warm, wet feeling around his cock, but before he would take what he wanted, he had to know you needed him too.Â
Finally his lips rest against yours in a lazy, tender kiss. You smile against Seungcheolâs lips, finally starting to come down from your high and ease into relaxation as you begin to anticipate his next move. You had lain down in this bed with nerves racing through every inch of your body but now all that was left was want. âCan you? Please?âÂ
Smiling against your lips, Seungcheol moves to nudge his nose against yours at your request. You had cum all over his fingers and tongue and yet you still couldnât just ask for things fully. âCan I what, princess? You want me to fuck you? Make love to you? That what you want?âÂ
Whining quietly, you lean your head back and smile again as Seungcheol kisses your neck. âYeah. Please?â You swallow and let your nails scratch lightly at his back as Seungcheol moves you on the bed. Your knee ends up against his thigh as he lies between your legs, teasing your dripping hole with the head of his cock. âOh my god, please?âÂ
The last of your words come out as a whine as you plead with Seungcheol. Feeling his ego swell that much more, he gives in to you and instantly forgets how to breathe as your tight walls pull him in to you. âFuckââÂ
The word is drawn out almost as long as it takes for Seungcheol to bottom out in you. At first he simply stays still, feeling you clench around him. The initial pressure that had turned to pain quickly turns to pleasure and then impatience, urging you to make him move. With his first thrust, Seungcheol takes his time, almost drawing out the moment he is flush with you as long as the first.Â
He was already fighting with himself not to cum instantly as you moaned his name. You felt better than anyone that he had been with before. There literally was no other person on the planet in that moment. Seungcheol could picture losing days or weeks in this bed with you. He had never once considered wanting to be a father until he was inside of you and rested his palm on your stomach, feeling himself move inside of you.Â
He wanted to talk more. Let the dirty, sinful thoughts racing through his brain out, but instead Seungcheol just groans your name and buries his face against the crook of your neck as his thrusts become more urgent. He wanted to live inside of you for the rest of his life. He would keep you full of him until you were round with his babies. Heâd populate the entire palace with your children until the two of you were too frail to handle it. Even then heâd worship the ground you walked on and never leave you wanting.Â
For you, nothing had prepared you for how full you would feel with Seungcheol inside of you. No book could explain this feeling and how perfect it felt to be connected to your husband like this. Without even needing to hear his words, you were already hoping this would leave you carrying his child. You had always wanted to be a mother, but no other man that you had even let court you had ever left you feeling feverish with this desire. It would be that you were pregnant with a baby; it would be that you were pregnant with Seungcheolâs babyâhis heir.Â
Rolling your hips down over Seungcheol, you whimper, feeling that now familiar feeling of your stomach tightening and pleasure rushing through your body. âIâ SeungcheolâŠâÂ
He didnât need to be warned that you were cumming. Seungcheol could feel it before you even said anything. You were trying to milk him dry and he wasnât going to stop until you did. Burying his cock deeply, Seungcheol groans against the shell of your ear as you hold him like a vice. The pressure is almost too much. He starts to feel overwhelmed, his own release right on the edge when you cry his name, taking him with you.Â
Warmth fills you from the inside out. Your arms and legs feel like jelly as Seungcheol scoots you up on the bed, resting your head back on the pillow. Your smile only fades slightly when you feel him ease from you, the full feeling gone as his cum starts to drip from you onto the bedding below. âMmm, donât leave me.âÂ
Wiping his lips off on his arm, Seungheolâs brows furrow at your soft request. Had this been what you expected him to do? Fuck you full and leave you alone on the bed? What had you been told about your wedding night? Had anyone explained what a husband should do for his wife after making love to her? Seeing the pout on your lips and the way your brows furrow, Seungcheol decides no one had.Â
âIâd rather die than leave you alone. Iâm not going to leave you, ever.â Kissing you gently, Seungcheol feels you smile against his lips before he looks back down at you, seeing the hazy look in your eyes. âI am going to run some water in the tub and come back for you.â Gesturing over his shoulder to the bathroom that connects your room to his, he starts to move when you whine his name under your breath. âBaby, Iâm notââÂ
âI donât want to. I wantââ Your cheeks once again burn from embarrassment as Seungcheol looks down at you with concern in his eyes. Lowering your voice almost as if you are afraid someone outside will hear your confession, you speak through your pouted lips. âI want to get pregnant.âÂ
Sucking in a deep breath, Seungcheol blows it out slowly to calm himself down. You had been thinking the same thing as him? Shaking his head, he kisses your cheeks and then your lips as you wiggle under him, feeling embarrassed by his extra attention. âCurse the person who taught you anything about your wedding night.â Brushing your hair from your forehead, Seungcheol sighs your name. âIf you are meant to get pregnant tonight, itâs already done. You donât have to keep it inside of you to make it work.âÂ
You already knew that Seungcheol was right, but the slight doubt and wanting to get what you want make you still pout at him. âI know that⊠I have read lots of books, but I justâwhat if it doesnât? What if laying here for a moment longer makes sure it happens?âÂ
Swooning over your innocent confessions once again, Seungcheol bites his bottom lip and traces the line of your waist to your hip. âYouâve read a lot of books on reproduction, have you?â Watching you close your eyes and wrinkle your nose in embarrassment, he laughs before kissing the tip of your nose. âYou can lie here while I run the bath, but I promise you, even if you arenât pregnant from tonight, I will put a baby in you if thatâs what you want.âÂ
You watch as Seungcheol slides from the bed, lifting his arms over his head to stretch as if he hadnât just left you speechless with his new promise. Running your fingers over your stomach, you bite your lip and press your head back against the pillows, hoping and praying youâd give him a son.Â
âHow does it feel to be married, darling?âÂ
Smiling at the queen, you lower your eyes and shy away at the question. You had woken up in your bed in Seungcheolâs arms. This was the best you had ever felt, but was that something you should express to your now mother-in-law? Pressing your lips together in thought, you sigh softly and finally work up the courage to speak. âIâm very happy, your majesty.âÂ
It was easy for the queen to put on a face. She had been doing it for years at this point, so looking at you fondly came easier to her when inside she had far different emotions brewing. You did look happy. It was almost disgusting.Â
Returning your sweet smile, the queen leans forward, taking your hand into hers, bringing them both to her lap as you lean towards her. âThat is lovely. Iâm so pleased. Tell me, Y/N⊠Was last night fruitful?âÂ
If you had felt uncomfortable before, it was no match for how you felt after that question. Trying to sit back up in an attempt to feel less small in front of the woman, you grimace when she doesnât let you move. âIâis that something I shouldââÂ
âOf course it is. I asked you a question, my love. I want an answer.â Sighing softly, she pats your hands and lifts her shoulder as if she is exasperated. âItâs the most important question currently in Tsornoria. You define the future of this kingdom. So now⊠tell me.âÂ
You glance around the room for someoneâanyoneâto help you but the moment you meet their eyes, you either see sympathy or disinterest before they look away. âIâum, yes. Yes, maâam.â Would that make the queen happy or upset her? One look into her eyes and you still arenât certain. You see the smile on her lips, but the emotions that should be attached to that seem missing from her vacant eyes.Â
âWonderfulâŠâ The word is drawn out, almost stressed, as the queen finally releases your hands and shifts in her seat. âI had no doubt that Seungcheol would take you the first night. Heâsââ Smiling at you again, sweetness dripping from her lips like venom, she continues. âWell, Seungcheol is a bit rowdy. But I think you knew that, didnât you, sweet?âÂ
Hearing you start to speak, the queen sighs and speaks over you, not allowing any comments. âI do hope you understood that before you said your binding vows. Surely your brother, what is his name? Joshua?â Nodding to answer her own question, she pouts her lips almost sympathetically. âI do hope it takes. Did you visit with the doctor beforehand? You understand, Iâm sure, how important a royal heir is.âÂ
You watch as she gestures to nothing in front of her as if you should understand without question she has more to say. âThough if you donât get pregnant this time, Iâm sure he will try again.â Letting the slightest of a smirk pull at her lips, the queen sighs before meeting your eyes. âAnd again. But dearââ Taking your hands again, she tilts her head. âIf it doesnât take, that isnât your fault. It could be entirely Seungcheolâs. You understand, donât you?âÂ
Shaking your head, you open your lips only to shut them again when she coos at you. âOf course you donât. What an angel my son has brought into his life.â She scoffs and cups your cheek, her thumb tracing the bone lightly. âIt is surprising with all of my sonâsââ This time she manages to barely keep her amusement to herself as she watches your reaction to her words. âEscapades⊠his whoring. But, of course, a sweet, innocent girl like yourself wouldnât know a thing about that sort of behavior.âÂ
âNo. Whââ Not only were you shocked by the queenâs choice of words but also that she was saying them in the first place. Glancing back around the room, you shake your head, placing your palm against your stomach out of nerves. Would she be right? Were you not even able to carry Seungcheolâs children? If you didnât, was it your fault orâno, you refused to think itâd ever be his fault.Â
âDarling, Iâm not saying any of this to upset you.â Lies came easy to the queen. She knew how to say exactly the right thing to get the reaction she wanted. The only person seemingly immune to this was Seungcheol, who now glared at her from the doorway.Â
âAre you done trying to scare my wife, Mother?â Rolling his eyes, Seungcheol moves to the two of you before offering you his hand. âEven if you arenât, Y/N is done with this ridiculous conversationâŠâÂ
She watches as you stand up, moving against Seungcheol, but her innocent smile never wanes. âI was simply sharing wisdom as a mother to my precious daughter-in-law. Well within not only my rights as family and queen, but also as a woman.â Sniffing back invisible tears, the queen gestures to you before looking even more distraught. âThe poor girl lost her mother so very young. She needs someone to guideââÂ
âThatâs hilarious. A rock could teach more efficiently than you.â Seungcheol was annoyed and his frustration was only rising as his stepmother attempted to play the victim. âCome on, Y/N. I asked your father and brother to join us for lunch.âÂ
You still had an uncertain look on your face as Seungcheol took your hand, ready to lead you out of the room. What in the hell had just happened? You knew that the relationship between the queen and your husband wasnât ideal, but that had been toxic. You could almost feel the animosity for the other dripping off of them as Seungcheolâs eyes searched yours and his stepmother scoffed once again.Â
âAnd Iâm not invited?âÂ
âClearly not. I donât need you poisoning their minds with your bullshââÂ
âPlease stop.â Your voice was quiet, but the anxiety laced in with your words was enough to get Seungcheol to stop speaking. âIâ can we just go?â Turning towards the queen, you bow as you try to keep your words steady. âThank you for your words and advice, your majesty. We will share a meal soon, I promise.âÂ
Seungcheol wanted to tell you to stop giving his stepmother exactly what she wanted, but you were being level-headed. He didnât possess that feature anymore when it came to her. Moving out of the room with you, he furrows his brows when you keep your eyes down and away from him.Â
This wasnât how he wanted his first official day with you as his wife to go. He had made plans to spend time with you and your family. Seungcheol fully intended on enjoying a slice of nomacly with you, but then his fucking stepmother had to open her mouth.Â
âBaby, IââÂ
âItâs fine, Seungcheol. Iâm not upset.âÂ
You were saying one thing, but your face told him another story. Nodding along with your words, Seungcheolâs brows furrow from anxiety. There wasnât anything either of you could chance about your arrangement now, but he wanted to be a good husband. He wanted that as much as he wanted to be a good king once the title was properly handed to him. All Seungcheol really wanted was to not fail, but today this already felt like a strike on his record.Â
âIâIâŠ.â Swallowing hard, Seungcheol tugs at your hand as he comes to a stop, willing you to do the same as you stand outside of the dining room where your family was waiting on you. âIâm so sorry. My anger got the better of me. I fear it tends to where my stepmother is involved but I never wanted you to be upsetââÂ
âEverything is fine, Cheol. I was just surprised. Iâm not upset.âÂ
God, you were too sweet and good for this. You were too good for him. He had always thought so, but now seeing how quickly you try to smooth over the situation, Seungcheol knows it more than ever. âNo, I understand, baby. Itâs justâ I justâ I donât want you to believe the shit she tells you. Sheâs like a venomous snake. She lurks and waits to see what makes you weak before she strikes.âÂ
Lifting your free hand to your head, you sigh and press a finger to the center of your brows, feeling a headache taking seed. âFamily is very important to me.â When Seungcheol starts to speak and interrupt you, another sigh, this one mildly annoyed, makes him stop. âI canât begin to understand your relationship with the queen, but I am going to try to stay in her good graces until she gives me reason to otherwise.âÂ
Though Seungcheol hadnât heard the entire conversation you had with his stepmother, he had heard enough. She was planting doubt in your mind. She wanted you to look at him differently. The more anxious Seungcheol became with the situation, the more sure you already were. âI understandâŠâÂ
You werenât so sure that Seungcheol did in fact understand, but the terrified look on his face had you softening. Moving your hand to his face, you gently trace his cheekbone before offering him a comforting smile. âLetâs enjoy lunch and our day, okay?âÂ
It had been two months since you and Seungcheol had said your vows in front of God, family, and kingdom. There was much about the entire scenario that wasnât going how the queen had planned. You and Seungcheol got along well. She had always found his personality to be disagreeableâchildish, yet with you he was doting and reminded the queen so much of her late husband.Â
Looking around the mostly empty room, she sighs under her breath, wishing to rid herself of the constant weight of frustration that had taken hold of her. She had gone out of her way to plan this union strategically and yet her piece on the chessboard was dragging his feet.Â
âYour Majesty? You asked for meâŠâÂ
Joshua had started to learn his way around the palace almost as well as his sister. He knew the secret passages and used them well, but no one knew them better than the queen. She hadnât been shy about her feelings regarding the marriage or his lack of following through with what he had been asked to do.Â
When he had said yes, he had been angry that you were marrying Seungcheol in the first place. Now he fought with himself daily as he watched you brighten with joy around your husband. That didnât stop the deep-rooted jealousy and anger that he felt towards the man. It was Joshuaâs job to keep you safe and happy, yet you looked at Seungcheol like he hung the stars in the sky. It was more than you werenât going home with him and your father after the coronation; it was more that he felt like he was losing you completely.Â
âYes, close the door. Iâve been wanting to speak with you, Joshua⊠Itâs like youâve been avoiding me. That makes me sad.â She knew that it was true. Joshua had started actively avoiding her gazes, much less interacting with her in general. He knew she was disappointed that Seungcheol still walked around the palace like he owned it. He didnât own itâthe queen did.Â
Closing the door behind him, Joshua swallows hard as his eyes move around the room, noting the lack of servants. Of course sheâd want to speak to him where no one could hear what she had to say. âOf course I havenât. I justââÂ
âDidnât you promise not to lie to me?â Sighing out the words in annoyance, the queen gestures to the chair next to her before lifting her teacup to her lips and taking a sip. âYou know exactly what I want to discuss with you. You know I am disappointed.âÂ
Fighting the urge to scoff at her, Joshua sits, crossing his leg over his knee, watching the womanâs eyes lift to his. âWell, if we are honest, what you asked of me is almost impossible.âÂ
âIt isnât impossible for someone with the desire to save his dear angelic sister from ruin. Why do you purposely upset me, Joshua?â Watching Joshuaâs lips turn down in a frown, she matches it before gesturing towards the teapot on the tray between them. âDrink with me. Tell me what youâve been told about them. Iâve heard rumorsâŠâÂ
Joshua sighs as he leans to pour himself tea, listening to the queen. If she had heard rumors, why did he have to tell her the same shit? Shaking his head, he brings the cup to his lips and shrugs. âIf youâve heard them, why do youââÂ
âI want to hear them from you. I want to know the truth behind them.âÂ
Looking down at the teacup resting on his thigh, Joshuaâs brows furrow as he nods. Talking to the queen was like stepping inside of a lionâs cage and asking it not to kill you. In Joshuaâs case, it was asking that lion not to destroy your family. âY/Nâs maid says my sister might be pregnant. It seems your son didnât waste time, maâamâŠâÂ
She had heard much the same but hearing Joshua call Seungcheol her son leaves a sour taste in the queenâs mouth. Scoffing, she sets her cup to the side and shakes her head. âWhat did you expect? Heâs a whore. He saw a new port to place his ship and as Iâve been told, they even share a bed. Iâm sure heâs defiling your sister nightly; however, I need to know for certain. That could cause me issues.â Meeting Joshuaâs eyes, she lifts her brows in question. âDonât you agree?âÂ
It wasnât a question if Joshua agreed. He had never given much thought to what would happen once you were married. He had only wanted to protect you and keep you from a life with a shitty husbandâso far he had failed in his eyes. âDonât talk about her like that. Iâm sure she isnât, but even if she isââ Narrowing his eyes at the queen, Joshua tightens his fist over his knee. âYou swore to me she wouldnât get hurt.âÂ
âAnd you swore to me that Choi Seungcheol would die.âÂ
Joshua had never been a violent person. He had never been a vengeful person, but that all changed the moment Seungcheol took your hand and made you his wife. âHe will, I just need moreââÂ
âThe coronation is in a week, Joshua. Itâs harder to kill a king.â Shifting forward, she takes his hand, feeling it tighten under her palm as she pouts at him. âIâll make this easy for you, darling. Take care of this issue, or I will, and I donât think youâll like how I take care of it. I donât forgive those who renege on promises. Iâd hate for your dear sweet Y/N to suffer more than she has to.âÂ
Jerking his hand from hers, Joshua bites his cheek hard to keep himself in line. You were his first and only concern. The queen had never outright threatened you before. He knew that you were going to suffer during this. He had hoped you wouldnât like Seungcheol as much as you appeared to on first meeting, but sadly you seemed truly in love. It was unfortunate to break your heart, but it was necessaryâanything else on the queenâs mind regarding you wasnât.Â
âDonât fucking threaten her again. I swearââÂ
âYou swear to do as you were told. You swear to do what you said you would do.â Lifting one brow, the queen turns to her side, opening a small box and taking out a vial. With a soft, exasperated breath, she reaches for Joshuaâs hand once more and places it in his palm. âDonât disappoint me again. I am a merciful woman, but you make it difficult. Find out what I want to know and get this done.âÂ
It wasnât uncommon to hear voices inside of the queenâs chambers, but hearing a maleâs voice was different. Seungkwan hadnât meant to eavesdrop, but the moment that Joshua closes the door behind him, heâs happy he had. Why would he be visiting the queen? It was possible that she had brought him to her bed, but it seemed unlikely and it left a growing pit in Seungkwanâs stomach.Â
âIâm sure none of this is interesting to you, darling.âÂ
The past month had been the best time in Seungcheolâs life. Even now, as you sat on the arm of his chair watching him look through boring meeting notes and financial documents, his chest felt full. Every day had felt like the honeymoon he promised you that the two of you would take once the coronation was over.Â
Smiling at Seungcheolâs words, you shrug, sliding one of the papers closer to you so you can read over the minutes for the last meeting he had attended. He had never told you that you couldnât be part of this and you found yourself not wanting to be more than a foot away from him at any moment if it were possible. âItâs not, but I donât think it would be interesting to anyone. How did you keep yourself awake for this meeting? They really let your cousin speak for two hours?âÂ
Being with you was as easy as breathing. You made boring and mundane tasks feel exciting and comforting. Easing you from the arm of the chair and onto his lap, Seungcheol rests his chin on your shoulder as he looks over the same note you were looking at. Wrinkling his nose, he nods and lets out a soft sigh. âI donât remember even half of what the fuck he said. Iâm pretty sure Jeonghan fell asleep.âÂ
Your laugh was like a spring morning and calmed Seungcheol down better than anything. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he rests his palm on your stomach, feeling you suck in a deep breath. He had heard the rumors as well as anyone else in the palace, but you hadnât mentioned it to him yet. He could almost sense the look on your face as he placed a kiss on your neck. Your brows would be furrowed, your nose scrunched up as you tried to stay still and silent. You were nervous about something and Seungcheol had a good idea what it was. âYou donât want to talk about it? We donât have to, my love.âÂ
Shaking your head, you slide your fingers over Seungcheolâs over your stomach as your heart begins to race. âItâs notâno. I mean, I do, Cheol. Iâm justâwhat if IâmââÂ
Reaching up to turn your face towards him slightly. Seungcheol places a kiss next to your lips and shushes you. âThere isnât a time limit. I know you want this as much as I do, but itâs not the only thing I want. I am enjoying just being your husband.â Watching your lips turn up slightly into a smile, he hums happily, kissing your cheek again. âWe will be king and queen in a week, baby. Thatâs enough pressure for now.âÂ
Knocking once, Joshua looks surprised to see you sitting on Seungcheolâs lap in his office. He was doing a good job of looking apologetic but even as he lowered himself, apologizing for interrupting, he felt pleased he could interrupt the moment. Too often now this is how he found you both. You were so lovesick that it was nauseating and Seungcheol was like a prize cock peacocking around the palace knowing you werenât far from fawning over him. âI am so sorry. IâI was told that you would be here, your highness, that perhaps I could speak to you butââÂ
Seungcheol chuckles as he lets you move from his lap to stand at his side while your brother practically bows to the ground asking for forgiveness. He was trying hard to see past the signs that Joshua actually hated him and see the man that you worshipped. âNo harm done, Joshua, and please⊠Iâve asked you to just call me Seungcheol a dozen times.âÂ
Joshua didnât want to offer any pleasantries to the prince, but seeing the adoring look in your eye from one man to the other, he does what he has to in order to see your smile. âOf course, Iâm sorry, Seungcheol. Itâs such an odd concept that youâre my family now. Almost seems impossible.âÂ
Leaning to kiss Seungcheolâs cheek, you hum surprised when he turns to kiss you on the lips, sensing what you are doing. âIâI was just going to give you two the room. Iâm a distraction anyway.âÂ
Forcing himself not to outwardly show the disgust he is feeling, Joshua puts on a smile as you and Seungcheol say your goodbyes. It was simple; you had said you were leaving and he should let you go but instead Seungcheol was obviously trying to piss Joshua off. He averted his eyes as your husband kissed you once again, whispering that you were never a distraction before letting you loose.Â
When you step around the desk and towards Joshua, Seungcheol pays closer attention. It isnât lost on him how Joshuaâs attitude shifts. It was true that your brother loved his family. You were his pride and joy, but it still didnât sit well with Seungcheol how fake the man seemed to him only to change his entire personality when directly interacting with you.Â
âYou look happy today, Y/N.â Pushing your hair behind your ear, Joshua grins when you smile up at him, showing him that heâs right. Despite the reasoning behind your happiness, he was still pleased to see your joy shining through like it was. âIâll come find you soon, I promise. I just want to speak with your husband. You donât mind, right?âÂ
Seungcheol didnât miss how Joshuaâs words influence you. There was really no reason for you to mind, and yet the way Joshua had said it felt like he was forcing you to agree. When you nod quickly, happily looking back to Seungcheol, who offers you a soft smile, he sighs the moment you turn back to your brother. Why did everything that Joshua did feel like a threat? Perhaps Seungcheol was being too guarded and judgmental; after all, you looked at Joshua as if he hung the stars in the sky. How bad could someone be if you loved them that deeply?Â
Both men watch you leave the room, pushing the door closed behind you and leaving them alone. For a moment, neither of them speaks until Seungcheol starts to open his mouth, but Joshua makes sure to speak first. âIâve been meaning to speak with you since the wedding. You justââ Smiling softly, he moves towards the chair in front of Seungcheolâs desk, taking a seat as he sighs out the words. âYouâre just always so busy.âÂ
Joshua wasnât wrong, and yet Seungcheol couldnât think of a single moment since the wedding when Joshua had sought him out alone. âIâm sorry. Youâre right, I am, but you never need to worry about that. You said it yourself, weâre family. Feel free to come to me about whatever you need anytime.âÂ
Even as he tries to be nice, Joshua visualizes Seungcheolâs words like poison invading the air around him. He was so fake. The pleasantries were all fake. Still, Joshua keeps the gentle smile on his lips as he nods along. âYou are so kind, your highnâSeungcheol. Honestly, thatâs why I wanted to visit today. I wanted to see if you would have dinner with me this evening. Like weâve both said, itâs rare to get a moment alone to truly talk. Iâd like to get to know my brother-in-law.âÂ
Surprised by the invitation, Seungcheol shifts in his seat and offers Joshua a genuine smile. Perhaps he really had judged him too harshly. The man who sat in front of him nowâhis brother-in-lawâseemed more like you than ever before. There was the same soft look in his eyes as he smiled. It seemed so genuine that Seungcheol didnât even have to consider it for long before he nodded, leaning forward and starting to feel excited about the chance to get closer to your family. âIâd be honored. I can bring us something to drink.âÂ
âOh!â Clearing his throat, he waves his hand, dismissing Seungcheol in an attempt to give himself a bit more time to think of the words while also distracting the other man. âNo, no. I actuallyâI have a gift for you. You do like whiskey? Thatâs what Iâve been told.âÂ
A bit surprised by the idea of a gift, Seungcheolâs smile fades slightly before he forces it back on his face. Joshua was being kind and thoughtful. He had gone out of his way to learn something about Seungcheol, and now he was gifting it to him. âI do. My drink of choice, though it seems Y/N doesnât particularly enjoy the smell of it.âÂ
Waving his hand once more, Joshua shakes his head and sighs into his words. âSheâs a gentle girl, but a glass or two couldnât hurt.âÂ
You had never been good at horseback riding. Your entire life there are been various lessons that a princess would need to learn, but out of all of them, riding a horse had been your biggest hurdle. It wasnât that you didnât want to do well and ride alongside your brother as he rode like heâd been born on the back of a horse. It was more that you found yourself nervous sitting on the animal's back as it struggled to listen to the cues you were trying to give. Now you wish you would have tried even harder.Â
âCome along, dearâŠâÂ
Swallowing hard, you tug the reins to the right, feeling the horse reluctantly do what you want as you follow the queen out of the stables. When she requested you ride with her, it wasnât like you could just tell her no. It wasnât as simple as telling the queen and your new mother-in-law that you werenât good at this. You hated the idea of disappointing this intense woman.Â
âNot used to riding?â She was good at acting like she was shocked as your brows creased with anxiety as the horse snorted out of frustration. âI just thought some fresh air would be good for us both. Seungcheol and your brother are busy; now is my time to spend quality time with my new daughter.âÂ
You had been told by Seungcheol and many of the other friends and staff members that the queen was a viper. You wanted to heed their warnings, and yet how could you snub her? All you wanted was to fit in and be loved by not only Seungcheol but also his mother. Why couldnât you be the person to ease her out of her shell and show everyone else that she wasnât as bad as she seemed?
âIâm not very good, Iâll admit.â Offering the queen a small smile, you find yourself grimacing when the horse shakes her head, causing you to feel off balance. âJoshua tried several times to help me learn, but I fear Iâm far too clumsy for things like this. It is nice to get fresh air, though. Iâm glad you invited me.âÂ
You made this easy. You were so agreeable that it almost made the queenâs skin crawl. How could someone be so kind and naive? Did you really think she cared that much about you? Why would she care if you got fresh air? Smiling to hide her own thoughts, she glances back at you before slowing her own horse to walk beside you. âI should have done this even before your marriage, Y/N. Itâs important to know one another. We are family now.âÂ
Roasted duck and confit⊠Of course Seungcheol would go all out for a dinner where he expected to impress someone, but Joshua wasnât buying into it. It didnât matter if the food was better than anything he had ever had back at home. It also didnât matter if Seungcheol was going out of his way to act humble around Joshua. It was clear to him that it was all an act.Â
Seungcheol wasnât sure there had ever been a moment in his life that was as awkward as this dinner with Joshua Hong. It didnât seem to matter what he said or did; there was always a layer of contempt not only in Joshuaâs eyes but also in his tone of voice. âDidâ do youâ is the food okay? I can ask Seungkwan to get the chef if it's notââÂ
âItâs delicious, your highness. Please donât bother anyone.â Gesturing towards Seungkwan, Joshua shakes his head, putting on his best gentle smile. âIn fact, we donât need anyone to serve us. We could do this all ourselves.âÂ
Seungkwan could see the gears turning in not only Joshuaâs head but also Seungcheolâs. He knew that Seungcheol was an intelligent man, but he was also a kind man. Offering his own smile in return to Joshuaâs, Seungkwan too shakes his head and bows slightly. âSo kind of you, but Iâd hate to feel dismissed and useless. I need to do my job as often as possible or Iâll wither up and simply die.âÂ
Joshua had already decided that he didnât like the butler. He was always looming and every attempt to get out of his line of sight had failed; it seemed today wouldnât be much different.Â
âThatâs incredibly dramatic, SeungkwanâŠâÂ
âAnd yet you know itâs true.âÂ
Clearing his throat, Joshua lifts his hands not only to surrender to the idea of Seungkwan staying but also to stop their banter. âItâs fine, really. Should weâI get the whiskey? I hope it's up to your standards.âÂ
Seungcheol furrows his brows, looking from Joshua to Seungkwan as he reluctantly nods. âIâm sure it exceeds them. You shouldnât worry so much about that.â Nodding once again as Seungkwan lifts the bottle and starts to pick up two glasses. âWe can drink to your good health, Joshua.âÂ
Following Seungkwan across the room, Joshua shifts a bit uncomfortably in his chair as the man hesitates in pouring a glass for his prince, speaking up once again. âAre you sure you want to drink tonight? You have so many meetingsââÂ
âI wasnât aware that a butler could choose if a prince drinks or not.â Joshuaâs voice is layered with amusement, but a subtle edge to his voice makes Seungcheol tilt his head as he meets Seungkwanâs eyes.Â
It would be rude to refuse the drink. Seungcheol could see the judging look in Joshuaâs eyes and he didnât want to disappoint him. âIâll drink one glass with him. One couldnât hurtâŠâÂ
âIâve heard rumors, darling.âÂ
The ride had been pleasant enough. You had started to figure out how to guide your horse. You were beginning to trust her as much as she trusted you. But when the queen mentions rumors, you feel your heart sink. There was really no way to know what she had heard, but that didnât help your stomach as it twisted with anxiety. âOh? Iâwhat? I mean, what rumors have you heard, Your Majesty?âÂ
Your face told her everything she needed to know, and yet she wanted to hear it out of your mouth. âAbout your cycle. Is it true you might be carrying our next little royal already?âÂ
Unsure how to feel about the queenâs wording, you swallow hard and shake your head. âIâI am late, but I have no real idea if I amââÂ
âThen we should have the doctor take a look at you, shouldnât we?â Sighing softly as she guides her horse to walk a bit slower behind yours, she narrows her eyes at you as you bite at your stupidly perfect lips nervously. âYou two didnât waste any time at all, did you?âÂ
Sliding his own glass towards him, Seungcheol watches as Joshua avoids picking up his own. He tilts his head and furrows his brows, feeling Seungkwanâs eyes move around the room. âYou arenât going to join me?âÂ
Joshua looks surprised by the question before looking down at the glass in front of him. He knew that Seungkwan was staring at him. The butler didnât trust him, and that was valid. He could feel his own nervousness starting to sway him, yet he could hear the queenâs voice in his head telling him to not disappoint her. âOh, no. I rarely drink, your highness.âÂ
Scoffing as Joshua calls him by his title again, he picks up his glass and takes a large sip, nodding in appreciation as the alcohol runs down his throat. âSeungcheol is fine. Iâve told you that many times.â With a hum, he furrows his brow at how the alcohol lingers in his throat, making his mouth drink as if almost begging him to take another sip. âThank youââ Clearing his throat, he takes another sip, his brows furrowing further. âThank you for the gift.âÂ
âOf course, Seungcheol. Itâs the least I can do.âÂ
Seungkwan had watched from the sidelines for most of the dinner. He didnât like Joshua. He wanted to, but despite being your brother, there was nothing about him that reminded Seungkwan of you. You were soft and sweet, while Joshua seemed to have an ulterior motive.Â
With dessert served, he watched the prince closer, noting how his head seemed heavy. He had finished his glass of whiskey and normally that amount of alcohol would have little to no effect on him, but tonight seemed to be different. There was a soft, confused smile on Seungcheolâs lips as he slurred through his words, letting Joshua carry the conversation. Seungkwan couldnât shake the feeling that something was wrong but just before he could move closer and ask, the door opening behind him draws all eyes in that direction.Â
Your maid was a quiet girl. She felt comfortable around you and your family, but Joshua had never seen her bust into an occupied room unannounced before. Fear runs through him when he sees the tears dripping from her cheeks as she struggles to speak. Standing, he hears his chair on the ground from how quickly he stood. âWhat is it?âÂ
Looking from Joshua to Seungcheol, the girl sobs quietly, attempting to get her words out, only to take a step back when Joshua raises his voice. âY/NâŠâ Shaking her head, she brings her hands to her face to hide her tears as Joshua says her name in question for her to continue. âShe fell off her horse, your highness. SheâsââÂ
âWhere is sâshe?â Attempting to stand up as quickly as Joshua had, Seungcheol feels his head swim, a gray frame around his vision starting to close in. He hadnât realized how bad he felt until his blood started pumping quickly out of anxiety. âTeâtell me, please?âÂ
Taking a step towards the girl, Seungcheol manages to hear your name once more before everything goes black and his body crumbles to the ground next to the table.Â
All you remember is being scared and in pain before everything went black. Forcing your eyes open, you whine at the feeling of your body being stiff with some of the worst pain you had felt in your life. You were no longer outside but instead your soft mattress rested under you, causing you to feel even more confused.Â
Sliding your hand along the mattress, you search for the warmth and safety of your husband only to feel his side of the bed cold. It takes you a few moments to sit up. Every movement feels like it takes the last bit of effort you have in you. Moving your eyes around the room, you frown, finding it as empty as you are beginning to feel.Â
Did Seungcheol not know you were hurt? Why were you hurt? You could remember riding in front of the queen on your horse. You could sense the tension in the air before your face had met the dirt and pain spread through your body.Â
How long had you been in this bed? Your legs felt numb and the bed felt increasingly uncomfortable the more you sat on it. Working your legs from under the covers, you whine under your breath as you will your body to work. With one hand on your stomach and the other holding the bedpost, you hoist yourself up as another frown spreads across your lips.Â
You felt wet and sticky. Turning back towards the bed, you feel your heart drop into your stomach as you look at the red that was staining the sheets under your body. The feeling of emptiness spreads along every cell in your body as you feel yourself starting to collapse, only for a soft voice and a gentle touch to bring you back to the moment.Â
Tears run down your cheeks to your neck as you meet the eyes of your maid. At least she was here. There was hope left in you that she could explain everything even as she avoided your gaze.Â
âYou should sit down, your highness. I need to change your bedding again.âÂ
Again? You question yourself again on how long you had been in that bed. Now you were wondering how many times you had bled through like that. You let her guide you to the stool at the end of your bed before you shake your head and give in to the main question on your mind. âWhere is Seungcheol?âÂ
Starting to speak and stopping, the girl shakes her head, leaving you safely sitting as she starts to hurriedly tug at your bedding. There was something wrong. Everything was wrong. Looking back towards the bathroom that connects your door to Seungcheolâs room, you wince in pain as you force yourself back up, only for another voice to stop you in your tracks.Â
âY/N, sit.âÂ
Joshua didnât look like himself. He was diminished somehow. He was a ghost of the man you had grown up with. The exhausted look in his eye told you he had been with you day and night for however long it had been. The blood on your bed made his stomach twist with pain that showed clearly on his face before he met your expectant eyes.Â
âLet her change your bed and your gown so you can get more rest.âÂ
You didnât want more rest. You wanted Seungcheol. If anyone wanted you to rest, you could do it better in your husbandâs arms. âI wantâ Shua, where is Cheol?âÂ
Joshuaâs eyes follow the path to your bathroom before he sighs your name. He knew something and he didnât want to tell you. What the hell had happened to turn your world on its head? You were terrified not only for yourself and the possibility of your baby but now also for your husband. Starting to slide off the stool, you stop when Joshua hurries forward to take your hand, whispering your name.Â
âThereâsâY/N, please? Thereâs something I have to tell you.â This was worse than lying to you. Joshua always struggled with that from the moment he had seen you lying in your crib and today was no different. He could only see his fragile little sister that was looking at him for answers when he was only going to deliver horror. âSeungcheol is in his room, yes, but heâs asleep.âÂ
Tugging your hand from Joshuaâs, you whine his name when he manages to keep you in place standing in front of him. âI want to see him. I need him.âÂ
You were so stubborn and in love that it made it even more difficult for Joshua. Regret and anxiety rip through him as he tugs you by your wrist and forces you to meet his eyes. âStop! He isnât who I need to talk to you about! Y/N, Iâyour accident.âÂ
Shaking your head, obvious confusion written on your face, you search his eyes and feel the pit in your stomach grow when he does finally speak. His words seem warbled and tangled in your ears as the light in the room grows darker.Â
âIâm so sorry. Iâthe doctor said you werenât far along butââÂ
You donât need to or get the chance to hear what you already know to be true as you collapse, the world spiraling out of control as Joshua struggles to catch you before you hit the ground.
Closing your fingers around those holding yours, you let out a soft sigh of relief. It was all a dream. You felt stiff and in pain, but that could just be how you slept last night. It had been a horrible dream. You could almost feel your heart trying to break as you continued to convince yourself that none of it was true.Â
If it had been a dream, Seungcheol was holding your hand. He would be in bed with you and he would hold you close, telling you that everything was okay. You could imagine him resting his palm over your stomach as you both hoped for the good health of the child you hoped was growing inside of youâand yet your imagination wasnât enough. Furrowing your brows, you open your eyes and instead of finding Seungcheol or even Joshua at your bedside, you meet the eyes of the queen.Â
âOh, my sweet girl.â Cooing sympathetically, she lifts her hand from yours to push your hair from your forehead as she offers you a gentle smile. âIâm so sorry. You must be so confused. Are you hurting, dear? I can get the doctor for more medicine.âÂ
Instead of waiting for you to answer, she sighs your name and tucks your hair behind your ear, watching you like you are made of fragile glass that she keeps tapping at. âIâm sorry all this happened. The amount of pressure you must be under.â Tsking right away, she hushes you before you even open your mouth. âNever mind it. Perhaps⊠ifâwell, if all works out, you can try again.â Â
Try again. It wasnât a bad dream. It was very real and as she kept tapping at the glass, her fingers smoothing your hair, you couldnât stop yourself from crying. Tears begin to roll down your cheeks, but the queen is quick to wipe them away, once again shushing you. âThere, there, dear. Life can be cruel, but you are still so very young. You haveââÂ
âWhere is Seungcheol?âÂ
Her mouth still open when you interrupt her with that question, the queen falters for a split second. Her lips turn up into a bit of a smile before she forces herself to furrow her brows and coo at you in sympathy once again. Looking towards the connecting doors of the bathroom, she shakes her head as she sniffs back tears that havenât even begun to collect in her eyes. âY/N⊠Iâthis is so terribly difficult to say. Iâperhaps it was the shock of loss and the potential that he might lose you too, butââ Instead of finishing her sentence, the queen just sniffs once again and looks down at her hands.Â
What did that mean? What was she trying to tell you and why wouldnât she just say it? The unspoken words only leave room for your imagination to sour and for your anxiety to grow. Sitting up, you are pushed back down by the queen as she wipes tears with her free hand from her dry cheeks.Â
âDarling, you need to understand. There is so much about my son that you donât know.â Sighing into her words, the queen meets your eyes with faux remorse in her eyes as she speaks. âHe was always such a sickly child. His father called in world-renowned doctors and we hoped⊠we prayed that he would grow up strong, but hopes and prayers only get you so far. They canât figure out why he wonât wake.â
Nothing she was saying made sense and fear was flowing through your veins. Pushing past the queen, you stumble towards the doors, pulling them open, not caring if she was following you as you stumbled forward. Itâs when you see Seungcheol lying in the center of his own bed, his eyes closed and his skin pale, that you force your legs to keep you up until you are sitting on his bed next to him.Â
Tears drip from your cheeks onto his skin as you lean over him. This had to be a cruel joke. You werenât sure how youâd forgive those who played this trick on youâyet as you shook Seungcheolâs arm and sobbed his name, it no longer felt like a joke. Watching his head slump to the side, you feel like you can't catch your breath. You can hear someone else in the room with you, but you donât look at the queen. Instead, you lift a shaky hand to adjust your husbandâs head on his pillow before resting your cheek against his chest, listening to his heart slowly beating.Â
Watching you carefully, the queen crosses her arms loosely over her stomach and doesnât hide her smirk. You werenât paying attention to her anymore and why shouldnât she enjoy this moment? After a few moments of listening to you pathetically cry over her stepson, she finally moves closer to the bed and puts a devastated look on her face before drawing your attention to her. âIâdarling, I tried to warn you.â Offering her hand to you, she pouts at you and tilts her head. âLet me put you back to bed. You still need to recover yourself and Seungcheol⊠well, heâs not able to help anyone.âÂ
Shaking your head, you crawl, pull your legs up on the bed and lay close against Seungcheol as tears soak through his shirt to his shoulder. âIâd rather die than leave him. Iâm not going anywhere.â
The queen softly breathes out to cover an amused sound as she watches you curl up next to the meek man in front of her. Lifting her hands, she nods and takes a step back. âAs you wish, Y/N.âÂ
It had been two days since you had moved into Seungcheolâs room and two more days of watching your husband sleep. There were times when you felt more hopeful than others that he would wake up and come back to you, then those hopes were dashed when the doctor would fear for how weak his vitals were.Â
Today was one of the days when you were starting to lose hope. Youâd never say it aloud, but as you sat next to him watching Seungkwan prepare him for a sponge bath, you felt your heart twist with pain. Seungcheol was a strong and proud man but now he was having to be bathed in his bed by his butler.Â
Reaching for one of the washcloths, you sniff back your tears as you move to sit next to Seungcheol, running the wet cloth over his shoulder and down his arm. Seungkwan had told you he could do this alone, that perhaps that would be better, but you insisted, saying doing anything for your husband wasnât straining yourselfâit was your duty.Â
âCareful, your highness. You are still so weak yourself. I donât want you toââÂ
Lifting your eyes to glare at the butler, you quickly soften your eyes and shake your head apologetically when he stops speaking. âIâm sorry, Seungkwan. IâI donât mean toââÂ
âYou just want to help. Itâs okay. Justâ can you let me lift the prince? Heâd kill me if you got hurt like this.âÂ
You nod, tears on your cheeks as you lean back enough to let Seungkwan do his best to sit Seungcheol forward so you can wash off his back. It had only been a few days but you could already see how his body was declining. His body seemed less toned as he lost weight from only being fed by the doctor. His skin had gone from just pale to an unnatural color, especially where he rested on the bed.Â
âWe have to turn him more often, Seungkwan.â Sniffing back your tears as you try to speak, you lick the tears from your lips as you wring out the towel, letting him lay Seungcheol back on the bed so you can wash his chest.Â
âIâyes.â At this point, Seungkwan wasnât sure what part of this situation was more painful. Was it watching his best friend and prince fade away or was it watching you fade in your own way? While Seungkwan was an intelligent man, he was also emotional. He had spent time while you slept out of exhaustion, sitting by the bedside watching over you and Seungcheol both. He had gone back and forth on what he thought was true and what he should let you know. Knowledge could be a weapon, but it could also wound you.Â
That thought rolled through his mind now as he watched your tears drip from your face onto Seungcheolâs skin only for you to quickly wash them away with your washcloth. Lowering his voice, Seungkwan shifts closer to you both on the bed as he washes Seungcheolâs other arm so that if anyone were to come in, they wouldnât know what he was actually doing. âI have toâY/N⊠you have to know the truth.âÂ
Meeting his eyes, confused, you start to sit back and question him when Seungkwan tells you to keep doing what you were doing.Â
âThere are eyes and ears all over this palace. Not all of them are kind. Do you understand?â Seungkwan waits to see you nod and the acknowledgment to pass over your eyes before he continues. âI donât believe this is some mysterious, incurable illness.âÂ
You didnât want to believe it either. It made sense to you that Seungkwan wouldnât want to either. âI know you donât. IâI donât want that to be the case either, but nothing is working. Seungkwan and the queen said that when Cheol was a boyââÂ
âHe was never sick, Y/N. No more than a cold. You may not have known him well or seen him often, but think of the times you did.â Sighing out in frustration, Seungkwan dips the cloth into the water bowl and wrings it out almost angrily. âThereâs more. I donâtâlisten, I donât want to say this because if I am wrongââÂ
âJust say it.â You were done with people going around in circles and not wanting to tell you things. Seungkwan had started this conversation and you were going to get to the end of it.Â
Avoiding your eyes at first, fear of hurting you inching through him, Seungkwan swallows hard and nods. âBefore your accident, the prince was having dinner with your brother.â This wasnât anything you didnât already know, but Seungkwan could still see the gears working in your brain as he went on. âHe gifted Seungcheol a bottle of whiskey. I donât want to assume, but it was after the prince had a glass of that whiskey that he went down.âÂ
You could hear your blood pumping in your ears as you tried to focus on Seungkwanâs words and what they might mean.Â
âI hate the idea of what Iâm even suggesting; however, every time I have tried to speak to Seungcheolâs doctor alone, the queen stops me before I can ask him.âÂ
Shaking your head, you swallow hard, feeling like you are choking on dry air. Your brows furrow as you finally meet Seungkwanâs eyes, seeing the fear in them. âAsk him what?âÂ
âIââ Leaning his head back, Seungkwan tries to picture Seungcheol happy and healthy on his wedding day before all of this happened, but your voice brings him back, urging him to say what he dreaded saying. âI want to ask him if the prince was poisoned. If maybe something was in that whiskey, that is what is killing him.âÂ
The idea of your brother being the cause of your husband lying almost lifeless in front of you makes you feel like laughing at first. There was no way in hell he would do something like this. Joshua was a sweet and gentle manâand yet, as much as you deny it, everything else that has caused you to doubt your brother lately pours back into your mind. You picture him disagreeing with your marriage. You can hear him begging you to just come back home with him at your bedside as you recovered, before finally you realize heâs stopped coming by to check on you once you moved into Seungcheolâs room.Â
âShe blocks me every time. I think if I could speak with him, heâd have a moral obligation to tell me the truth. Perhaps if this is whatâs wrong with Seungcheol, we can do something to counteract it and wake him up. I just need to get past the queen and into his office.âÂ
Dropping your washcloth back into the bowl, you look at Seungcheolâs face and the lack of any expression on it. You had prayed for a sign of him waking up or even recognizing you were by his side, and yet he wasnât able to give you anything. Seungkwanâs suspicions begin to make more and more sense until finally you feel something snap inside of you as you meet his eyes once more. âShe wonât stop me. I can promise you that.â
The hallway leading to the office that the doctor was using was just as Seungkwan had said. There was no reason for so many staff members to be lingering around it, and yet you had seen at least a dozen people on your walk from Seungcheolâs room to where you stood now.Â
You watch as you stay hidden from sight as Seungkwan does exactly as you had told him to do. Confidently he starts to walk towards the doctor's office door, only for two men you had thought worked in the kitchen to come forward and escort him back in the other direction. With the menâs voices disappearing down the hall as Seungkwan argued loudly with them, you moved towards the door and slipped in without so much as a knock or word to find the man you wanted to see sitting behind the large desk.Â
Standing quickly, the doctor looks shocked and confused before you smile at him, closing the door behind you. âI apologize for interrupting you, Doctor Hwang. Iâm Y/NââÂ
âI know who you are.â Swallowing hard, he smoothes his shirt over his stomach before gesturing towards you. âIâve meant to come see you and offer my condolences and apologies. I truly did everything I could to save your pregnancy, your highness, but with nature of your accidentââÂ
âThatâs not why Iâm here, but I donât blame you for any of that, Doctor. I wanted toââÂ
Anxiety causes Doctor Hwangâs heart to beat a bit harder as he once again interrupts you. He wasnât sure why you were here, but it couldnât be anything that would benefit him. âCould I have someone escort you back to your room? You are still recovering and I wouldnât want you to fall from weakness.âÂ
Smiling at the man, you shake your head, moving closer to his desk, watching him tense up. You had expected him to try to do this. Almost everyone did the same thing. You were weak and unable to take care of yourself in their eyes, but in the doctor's eyes you saw something elseâfear. âNo, thank you. I actuallyâwell, I need to ask you something about my husbandâs condition.âÂ
His eyes moving from you to the door behind you, the doctor shakes his head and lifts his hands as if showing he has nothing to hide, though they tremble. âI couldnât really discussââÂ
âYou see, Doctor Hwang, Iâm just curious if you know of something that could cause him to sleep and not wake up. Perhaps something that was given to him.âÂ
Forcing a laugh, the doctor shakes his head once again and turns his attention to the desk in front of him. âI wouldnât be able to discuss his health with you, your highness. The queen has given me very specific instructions.âÂ
Those words were more telling than you expected. Moving closer to the desk, you watch as he becomes more flustered, stumbling over your words as he once again suggests you go back to your bed. âDid someone poison my husband?âÂ
Your questions cause the doctor to stop stumbling and to freeze altogether for a moment as his brain processes what to say next. Lifting his hands once again, he scoffs on a breath before trying to stand his ground as your fingers trail over the top of his desk. âAs you know, the prince was constantly sick as a child and it appears that his condition hasââÂ
You had never been a violent or assertive person, but hearing another lie had you not only surprising yourself but also the man in front of you as you held the letter opener to his neck. You had felt the metal under your fingers and now you held the handle tightly as you pressed the sharp tip to the doctor's throat. âIf you lie to me one more time⊠Iâll put this through you. I wonât stand by and let him die.âÂ
Begging under his breath, Doctor Hwang presses his back against the wall as he feels the tip of the letter opener press harder against his neck. All the threats from the queen race through his mind until you say his name and he knocks his head back against the wall. âNightshade, your highness. Iâm sorry⊠Please, please donât do this. I can fix it.âÂ
Holding the bottle tightly in her hand, the queen sighs as she opens the door to Seungcheolâs bedroom. She hadnât visited him in two days. She had given him enough nightshade to keep him out of her way. It was a week until the coronation and there were already plenty of rumors spreading about the palace and kingdom that their would-be king might be dead before the week was out.Â
She had been smart. Just enough nightshade to keep him comatose, though the urge to give him a higher dose or use a pillow to put him and her out of their misery always lingered at the forefront of the queenâs mind. So when she walked into his room expecting to find Seungcheol exactly as she had left him, she was shocked to see him awake and sitting back against the headrest.Â
âSâSeungcheol, you woke up.â She attempted to sound pleased as she put her hand behind her back, clutching the nightshade so hard it felt like the glass might shatter in her palm.Â
Sighing softly, Seungcheol nods. He was still weak and trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened not only to him but to you. Lifting his eyes to meet his stepmotherâs, Seungcheol lifts his brow and fights the urge to scoff at the look on the queenâs face. She was pretending to be happy, but he could see the hate in her eyes. âThanks to Y/N, yes, Iâm finally awake.âÂ
He watches how she gawks at him, struggling to speak. His stepmother only manages to get out a few questioning words before Seungcheol manages to get out of the bed, leaning on the furniture as he walks towards her. âStop playing dumb. I know this was you.â Even as she shakes her head and tries to talk her way out of it, her own face betrays her. âYou did something to Y/N too. Thatâs worse than trying to kill me. I should have you hungâŠâÂ
At the threat of death, the queen stops trying to explain herself and scoffs. âYou arenât KingââÂ
âNot yet, but in a week I will take care of this. Iâll make sureââÂ
With one shove towards the end of the bed by the queen, Seungcheol falls backwards as she laughs under her breath. âYou should rest, my son. Your overactive imagination is getting the better of you. As if I would ever do a thing to harm you.â Only watching as Seungcheol struggles to sit up on his elbows, sweat collecting on his forehead and chest from how much effort it is taking to keep himself up, she clings to the bottle at her side and narrows her eyes. âIâve thought about it. Iâve pictured smothering you in your sleep more times than I can count butâŠâ Sighing into her words as if sheâs a martyr, the queen tilts her head to the side. âIâm a mother. I couldnât hurt my child.âÂ
Laughing into a scoff, Seungcheol glares at his stepmother as he repeats the word mother. The word leaves a sour taste in his mouth and makes his stomach twist violently. âYouâve never been a mother a day in your fucking life.â Nudging his head towards the door, he clenches his fist at his side, feeling his blood boil as she stares at him. âGet the hell out of my room.âÂ
Joshua knew that Seungcheol had woken up. Deep down he was pleased with that and yet it terrified him. What if Seungcheol figured out it was him that had been the hand for poisoning him? Yes, he had done exactly as he was told, but that couldnât save him if Seungcheol declared he had committed treason while staying in the palace.Â
Walking towards the queenâs chambers, Joshua could feel his heart in his throat. Each and every time he had been summoned by her, something horrible had followed, but this time it was different. He was no longer her tool. She had lost that opportunity when he found out what actually happened the day of your accident.Â
Raising her head towards the door at the knock, the queen narrows her eyes at the door before speaking. âCome in, JoshuaâŠâ What she expected was to see remorse in Joshuaâs eyes. It had been his job to help her permanently silence Seungcheol and yet now her stepson was up walking about the palace as if he owned it. âSit down.âÂ
Not looking away from the womanâs eyes, Joshua moves to stand in front of her instead of sitting as he was told. He wasnât much in the mood to play with her anymore. He wasnât intending on being her little puppet anymore. âYou summoned me?âÂ
Scoffing at her words, the queen moves to stand only to be shocked when Joshua moves forward quickly, wrapping his hand around her throat and pushing her back into her chair. âThis is the lastââÂ
âI could have your head on a spike for this treason, Joshua Hong!âÂ
Glaring at the queen, Joshua squeezes her neck harder until she gasps for a breath. âIâm done playing your game. You know what I should do?â With a tilt of his head to look from her terrified eyes to his hand tight around her neck, Joshua feels a rush of adrenaline go through him. âI should go find your son and my sister and tell them the truth.âÂ
Nails claw at Joshuaâs shirt and hand as the queen tries to get his hand from her. She speaks between strangled breaths, trying to plead with him not only to let her go but also to consider the damage he could cause. âThat would ruâruin your sister. Sheâshe would hate you!âÂ
Lifting her slightly, he growls under his breath, knowing what she was saying might be true but it didnât matter anymore. âYOU said you wouldnât hurt her. You promised me!â Hearing her try to say she didnât, Joshua growls out his words in anger. âFucking liar! Her maid says it happened. You bitch. You had someone scare her horse! You watched my sister get bucked off that horse and land on her stomach and you didnât do ANYTHING!âÂ
Pushing Joshua back as she kicks at his shins, the queen takes a deep breath and puts her own hand to her throat, feeling her heart in her neck. Her voice is strained but how furious she is is apparent as she glares at Joshua. âGrow up! Do you seriously think you can keep that little bitch safe? You let Seungcheol continue to breathe, you idiot!âÂ
Finding his strength, Joshua moves back to his full height and shoves the queen towards her chair again, causing her to fall and reach for the table to keep standing. âIâm done! Iâm not listening to your bullshit anymore. Iâm going to tell Y/N and I donât care if she hates me, as long as you get what is coming to you.â Turning towards the door, Joshua stretches his neck from one side to the other, releasing the tension. He takes the first step in the direction that would take him to you only for a searing pain to spread from his head down to his neck before everything goes dark.Â
As she watches Joshua crumble to the ground, the queen drops the rest of the lamp from her hand while watching blood begin to pool around his head on her rug. She would need to have that cleaned but with any luck someone wouldnât wake up this time.Â
There was a big difference in how Joshua looked while sleeping compared to Seungcheol. You had never seen as much as a furrowed brow the entire time Seungcheol was unconscious, but from the moment you sat down at Joshuaâs bedside, he had not stopped scowling in his sleep. He looked furious and as if he were going to sit up at any moment to tell you how he had fallenâand yet he had been like this for two days.Â
You knew what the story of his fall was, but just like everything that had happened with Seungcheol and your own accident, you felt like it was a lie. Suspicion was eating you from the inside out as you looked at the bandage around your brother's head that was showing where blood had already seeped through at his stitches.Â
Watching from the doorway, Seungcheolâs brows furrow not only out of frustration but also out of concern for you. There had been nothing wrong with your life until you had moved here and married him. He was already having a hard time not blaming himself for everything, but then a voice would whisper the queenâs name and he found someone else easier to hate than himself.Â
You were still so fragile and innocent, yet you were having to deal with everything that would scar you all at once. Not only had you thought that you had lost him, but you were still dealing with pain from your own fall and the pain from the miscarriage was the deepest wound. Now you were having to sit by the bedside of your big brother, hoping he would wake up just like your husband.Â
Seungcheolâs eyes moved from you to Joshua as the man breathed steadily. It was hard for Seungcheol to look at him and not feel a bit angry. Seungkwan had told him about the whiskey and the nightshade, but no matter how much he wanted to hate Joshua and blame him, he knew he wasnât the one behind this. Deep in his heart, Seungcheol knew this was all the queen.Â
Wiping tears from your cheeks, you whine your brotherâs name and lay your head down on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. You had done this so many times with Seungcheol as you begged him to wake up, but now you were begging Joshua to do the same. âPlease, Shua⊠I canât do this without you. I love you so much.âÂ
Fingers tighten around yours and you sob a bit harder against Joshuaâs chest as he sighs in his sleep.Â
âYou arenât ready for this.â He was ignore her and the queen was feeling her annoyance taking hold of her in ways she had never before. âPostpone it, Seungcheol. Everyone would understand. Besides, do you really want to go before the kingdom and let them put a crown on a weak king?!âÂ
So far she had been lucky. Joshua had unfortunately woken up, but he slept often. She had doubts he had much time to say anything to you, much less Seungcheol, and yet her stepson was outright ignoring her as he left the room to get dressed for his coronation.Â
Her chest was tight with anxiety and desperation. If Seungcheol managed to be crowned king today, he would keep his promises to her if Joshua had told him what he knew. That couldnât happen. Sheâd rather die than deal with those consequences, and so the queen found herself inside the doctorâs office, her eyes scanning his shelves.Â
She knew exactly what she was looking for but the way her heart was beating into her throat, it took her twice as long to find the labels. Swiping two bottles from the shelf, she turns back to the door only to meet Seungcheolâs eyes as he blocks the entrance from her. âWerenât you getting ready, darling?â Lifting one bottle, she smiles as sweetly as possible and shrugs. âSomething for my nerves. Itâs a big day.âÂ
Without speaking a word, Seungcheol turns to the side and looks down at the ground as two of his guards step past him and towards the queen. He listens to her complaints and how she claims treason before backing herself into the wall.Â
âWaitâŠâ Seungcheolâs voice brings the men to a stop as they guide the woman through the doors past him. He meets her eyes with his own sad ones before prying the two bottles from her hands, reading the labels under his breath. âNightshade and wolfsbane.â Nodding, he takes a step back and grits his teeth as his stepmother starts to beg him for mercy.Â
âPlease! Seungcheol, Iâm your mother, you know Iââ Her words die on her tongue as the guards force her around the corner and she meets your eyes and then those of Joshua as he glares up at her from his wheelchair. âIââÂ
âTake her away.âÂ
You had spoken those words and for some reason they stung more than if Seungcheol had said them. Trying to look back at you as sheâs forced down the hall, the queen whines your name only to watch you look back towards Seungcheol as he stares at her from the doorway.Â
Seungcheol enjoyed the way the light came through his office window. This used to be his fatherâs office but when he had passed away, it went unused. Seungcheolâs stepmother kept it locked and away from him, but now it was his. All the memories of his father were his.Â
Muttering under his breath as his eyes scan over the newspaper in front of him, Seungcheol smiles when the article mentions you at the coronation. He knew that it was more about him; that was the unfortunate truth of any coronation, that it would focus on the king, but he had focused on you the entire time.Â
Just as the article described, Seungcheol remembered you in your gown and the proud look on your face as he was anointed and named king of Tsornoria and protector of the kingdom. He could still see the smile on your face as you were named queen and he had to hold in his tears from how proud he had been.Â
His smile only fades when the article then mentions the absence of the queen mother. Folding the paper, Seungcheol sighs as he pushes it away and moves to his feet. There was a good reason she was absent and yet he didnât have the guts or the heart to let the public know.Â
With each step down the hallway, he felt his heart get heavier as he got closer and took the key from his jacket. It had been six months since he had placed his stepmother in this room behind lock and key, and yet he knew what to expect.Â
The queen mother had stopped speaking to him the moment he told her she would live out her days in this room. He could have done worse. She had committed horrible acts and treason, yet instead of having her killed or placed in a dungeon cell, Seungcheol had confined her to a bedroom with barred windows. She had every comfort she would need and yet the woman looked as if she were being starved to death with a grim look on her face while she sat by the window day after day.Â
âYou shouldnât be the one who looks so disappointed about being in a room alone. You donât deserve that, you know?â Again she only scoffs at him and crosses her arms tighter across her chest. âYou need to eat. Youâre only hurting yourself by refusing the meals⊠Do you want something different?âÂ
Looking from the plate near her on a table, his stepmother turns to glare at Seungcheol to answer his question. He knew exactly what she wanted. Death was better than this. Death was better than hearing your soft laugh echoing through the palace or, worse, Seungcheolâs happiness radiating through the walls. He looked like a king now. He looked like his father.Â
Feeling her stomach twist with disgust, she turns up her nose and turns back towards the window, muttering under her breath. âI want you to die. Thatâs all Iâll ever want.âÂ
A sigh escapes Seungcheolâs lips as he looks down at his hands and leans against the doorframe. âI know, Mother. Sorry to disappoint you again.âÂ
You hated when Seungcheol chose to check on his stepmother. While you had mixed feelings about her luxurious prison cell, you reminded yourself that it was best for your husband. It was easier for him to know he hadnât hurt her as much as she had hurt him. He chose to turn his pain and anger into something else and you were already proud of him as not only your husband but also as king.Â
Lifting your eyes to his when he leaves the room, you smile, causing him to do the same, though it is sad. You lift at your toes to press a kiss to Seungcheolâs lips, feeling his hands rest on your hips. The kiss is gentle and simple, yet it says everything you wish you could, bringing out a real smile from him as he nods. You had said it enough. This wasnât his fault. He knew you were right. Moving Seungcheolâs hand with your own, you press it to your stomach, causing the smile to brighten with the meaning.Â
âHow is my little prince today?âÂ
You smile and laugh softly before sliding your hand into his, letting him guide you back down the hall and away from his pain locked behind a door. âItâs only a few weeks old, Cheol. Thereâs no way to knowââÂ
âI know, baby. Little prince or princess, it will be perfect. How could it not when you are its momma?â
Warmth washes over you as you lean your head against your husbandâs arm. He was so good at making you feel like you were the most important person in the world and today was no different. With a happy sigh, you glance up at Seungcheol and meet his smile. That was the smile you would fight and die for if needed. That was your world.Â
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White Blank Page (Teaser)
pairing; choi seungcheol (s.coups) x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), angst, royalty AU, fairy tale spinoff
summary;Â You had met Prince Seungcheol of Tsornoia twice in your life and now you were going to be his wife. You would be queen and share in everything his life meantâthe good and the bad.
content warnings;Â fairy tale au (snow white), royalty au, prince!seungcheol, princess!reader, prince!joshua, duke!jeonghan, butler!seungkwan, evil queen, evil stepmother, arranged marriage, dark themes, blackmail, attempted murder, poisoning, horses, falling off a horse, pregnancy, miscarriage, eating/drinking, alcohol, crying, fightingâthis one reminds us that fairy tales aren't always happy.
smut warnings; unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral, breeding kink (sue me its a cheol fic), crying from pleasure -- if there is something i missed let me know.
w/c;Â 1.5k (teaser) -- full fic with Patreon bonus 26.6k
song inspiration; white blank page - mumford and sons
a/n; thank you to @junkissed for proofreading. this fic kicked my ass i won't even lie. i love it but i am also happy to finally get it out to you. i enjoyed writing the beauty and the beast spin off for fatal trouble and this snow white spin off was just as interesting to write! thank you all for reading and being patient.
A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink You desired my attention But denied my affections, my affections
this fic will be released. 7/31 to read the full fic with the bonus now, subscribe to my patreon and click here
The paper felt like it weighed a ton in Seungcheolâs hands. It wasnât that he didnât wish or want to marry you, but this wedding seemed rushed. Neither the bride nor the groom had much say in how anything would take place, and Seungcheol had been giving very little opportunity to speak with you leading up to the day. In truth, he had only spoken to you a handful of times, and now, by the end of the day, youâd be his wifeâhis future queen.Â
The first time he had met you, neither of you were old enough to realize what your future would be. You were a cute girl dressed far too regal for your age. Despite being just two years younger than Seungcheol, you seemed so young and fragile in his eyes. Seungcheol had been raised to be strong of will and body; you had been raised to match the beauty that had been evident from the time you had been born.Â
âBe gentle with her. She isnât your friend, Seungcheol. She is their princess. She may be your future bride.âÂ
Seungcheol could remember turning his nose up at the idea. He had been far too young to care about a wife. He had wanted to play with you like he would with any of his other friends. It wasnât until the two of you were running around the palace garden and you tripped, cutting your knee. That was when Seungcheol realized playing with a girl, especially a pretty princess like you, was different than playing with one of the rugged sons of a duke.Â
âStop cryingâŠâÂ
Your eyes were wide as blood began to run down your leg towards your ankle. Big tears rolled down your cheeks, dripping onto the front of your dress. Seungcheol was beginning to panic. He had been told to be careful, and he had done the exact opposite.Â
âPlease⊠Youâre gonna get me in trouble, Princess. âM sorry!âÂ
You attempted to suck back your tears, but the more you tried and the more that Seungcheol begged you to stop crying, the harder they fell. Moving to his knees, Seungcheol pouted before taking out his small handkerchief and tediously began cleaning the blood from your leg.Â
âThâthank you.âÂ
You had spoken through your tears. The sound of your shaky voice had almost broken Seungcheolâs heart. You really were as fragile and gentle as you seemed.Â
âY/N!âÂ
You and Seungcheol had looked towards the frantic voice. A boy of his same age had all but pushed Seungcheol out of his way and settled at your side. He was clearly upset, his fingers carefully checking your skin around the angry cut.Â
âWhat happened? What did you do to her?âÂ
Seungcheol had started to speak and to defend himself when he found himself staring at you in surprise.Â
âShua! No. I fell down. Prince Seungcheol didnât do anything bad.â You had always had your big brother wrapped around your pinky. You were his only sibling and his pride and joy. âDonât be mad, âkay? See, Iâm not crying anymore.âÂ
It was difficult for Seungcheol or Joshua to hide their smiles as you wiped your wet cheeks and smiled so sweetly to prove your point.Â
âIâyou gotta be more careful, Y/N. You got blood on your dressâŠâ Joshuaâs brows had furrowed, concern deeply written in his eyes as he helped you stand. âMyâPrince Seungcheol, look, Iâm sorry. Itâs my job to watch her, and then I heard her crying. Our dad would literally kill me if somethinââÂ
âI get it. You donât have to apologize to me. Iââ Meeting your pretty eyes, Seungcheol cleared his throat and sighed into his words. âI wouldnât ever hurt her on purposeâŠâÂ
Seungcheol had meant those words, and he had kept that promise into the second meeting with you. He had just turned 19, and you were truly the belle of the ball. He had moved past childish notions of how he felt about girls, and youâyou had taken his breath away.Â
âGood evening, Princess.âÂ
Your smile was the same, just like your eyes. You were kind. Your kingdom loved and cherished you. Many other kingdoms had begun showing interest, and once again Seungcheolâs parents reminded him that you might be his queen one day. It all seemed so silly at the time. He wasnât anywhere close to being ready to marry, and yet as he looked at you in a grand ballroom, he considered it.Â
âPrince Seungcheol. Itâs an honor to see you again.â You werenât lying. You had thought about Choi Seungcheol many times over the years, and as you grew up, his face had stayed with you. âThough you are much bigger than the last time we met.âÂ
Just like your smile, your laugh was sweet and melodic. It was the type of sound that made Seungcheolâs heart tighten. He found himself wanting to hear it again, as often as possible. Laughing quietly into his own words, Seungcheol offered you his arm, allowing him to guide you towards the dance floor. âIâwell, yes. Iâve grown, as have you.â He knew it was bold, but a sense of pride was flowing through him like waves of light as bright as your smile. âI mean, youâve grown in beauty, though surely you know.âÂ
You felt eyes on you and Seungcheol as you let him lead you to the middle of the floor. His attention was like standing next to an open flame. No matter where you looked, you always found yourself drawn back to his dark brown eyes. âOh⊠Iâthank you. Iâm not sure I would say that about myself. Iâm merely commââÂ
âThere is nothing common about you, Y/N.âÂ
It was the first time he had called you by your name. The sound of it on his lips was enough to leave you breathless. You werenât a fool. You knew what you meant to the princes of the surrounding kingdoms, but this was Choi Seungcheol of Tsornoria. You were common compared to himâeveryone was. âYou are too kind, your highness. You flatter me.âÂ
Seungcheol found himself that day wondering if your cheeks would be hot to the touch after receiving his compliments. You were so endearingly shy. It was obvious how innocent you still were, and yet Seungcheol dared to test his limits with you. He had lifted his hand and brushed away the hair on your cheek; to his pleasant surprise, your skin was as warm as it would be if you had been sitting by a fire.Â
âPerhaps, but itâs not a lie. Are you not aware of how many other princes here are plotting my demise at this moment?â Amused with your reaction, how you scanned the room looking for danger, Seungcheol laughed softly and carefully grasped your waist, leading you with the music. âI mean that every man in this room wishes they were in my place. They wish they were the one dancing with you.âÂ
You werenât so naive that you didnât know what this ball was for. You were coming of age in a few short years, and soon negotiations would begin. You would be marrying someone in this room, the thought of which terrified youâuntil you met Seungcheolâs eyes again. âPerhaps. But I chose to dance with you.âÂ
Since that day, Seungcheol had known that this might eventually happen, but things were different. It had been close to ten years since that ball, and suddenly overnight it was real. Seungcheol wanted to be happy, perhaps even excited about this marriage, but something was nagging him in the back of his head.Â
For the past few years, different arrangements had been in the works. He had lost any hope that you would end up his bride, but each one of the arrangements had failed. It had all started after his father passed away and he became the crown prince. His motherâhis stepmother, the queenâhad taken over for his father, and Seungcheolâs life was turned on its head.Â
âI want this entire hall prepared for the Hong family. Itâs of utmost importance!âÂ
Seungcheol could feel the beginnings of a headache behind his eyes, and the sound of his stepmotherâs voice only made it worse. She had fought so many of the previous arrangements to just suddenly change her mind when your family had finally accepted.Â
It wasnât exactly hidden how much money she had spent since her husbandâs death. The kingdom was suffering for her indulgence, and its only saving grace was that Seungcheol was going to take his place at the throne. Once he took his birthright, he would have access to the money that was left to him by his fatherâmoney that his stepmother would never have the right to while he was breathing.Â
Now the fact that Seungcheol was standing around with his head in his hands only fueled his stepmotherâs annoyance. He had a job to do. There may not have been much, in her not-so-humble opinion, that Seungcheol was good at, but at least he had his fatherâs looks.Â
âChoi Seungcheol!âÂ
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Sweet Venom (Patreon Drabble)
pairing;Â jeon wonwoo x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), co-workers/rivals to lovers
content warnings;Â co-workers, tension in the workplace, jealousy
smut warnings;Â unprotected sex, scratching, slapping, biting, no prep we die like men or something like that
w/c; 2.1k
song; Sweet Venom - Enhypen
a/n; thank you @sluttyminghao for betaing! i hope you guys like this little quick drabble i wrote with the strawberries! this was fun. i will do more things like this in the future.
this fic is a Patreon exclusive bonus drabble â to read this drabble subscribe to my Patreon and click here
Rolling your eyes, you force yourself to look at the computer screen in front of you. The work might be boring, but at least you werenât looking at what was happening at the desk directly across the room from yours.Â
âOf course I canâŠâÂ
You stop yourself from mocking Jeon Wonwooâs voice as he flirts with one of your co-workers. It was like this every day, and yet you still had to force yourself not to let your annoyance show outwardly. You had worked at the same place for the last eight years and it had never been this frustrating to get through a day until five months ago when Wonwoo was hired.Â
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© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Drive It Like You Stole It
pairing; yoon jeonghan x f reader (x kim mingyu)
genre; smut (minor dni), TOXIC, heavy angst, university au, 00's au
content warnings; mental and verbal abuse, shaming, jealousy, jeonghan isn't your knight in shining armor, alcohol, eating/drinking, smoking, reckless driving, degrading names, fighting/arguing, crying, depression, stress/anxiety, mention of parents/arguing with parents, fuckboy mentality, lovebombing, yandere!jeonghan
smut warnings; unprotected sex, outdoor sex, car sex, virgin!reader, oral (f & m giving/receiving), fingering, dirty talk, degrading/praising, pet names, crying, impact play
w/c; 27k and some change (569 patreon bonus)
a/n; thank you to @junkissed for proofreading. you know i am always grateful, but i know this one was heavy. please read all the warnings and know this is the most toxic fic i've ever written. it might not be your cup of tea. but if you do read, I hope you enjoy it!
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
That brief moment between spring and summer was Jeonghanâs favorite part about his hometown being a college town. Not that he was a student at the hoity-toity university, but it had its perks just being in the vicinity.Â
âNo, you look, like, super cute.âÂ
âItâs not too short?âÂ
Smirking to himself, Jeonghan shifts the lollipop in his mouth to his cheek as he rests his elbows on the counter in front of him. He used to hate working a soul-sucking job at the mall, but then he started opening his eyes. The weather would get warmer and the girls from the university needed something to do between classes or, even better, during spring break. What better way to rot their brains than to spend hours on end in the only mall within 100 miles? Â
âOh my god! No. You look so fucking cute!â Looking around for reinforcements, the pretty brunette meets Jeonghanâs eyes before grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the ice cream shop he was supposed to be managing. âHi! Totally random, but like, could you tell my bestie how cute she looks? Sheâs worried the dress she just bought is too short.âÂ
Your cheeks were on fire as you tugged at your best friendâs arm, trying to get her not to talk to the random, incredibly attractive man just trying to do his job. Shaking your head, you laugh before tugging at your new summer dress in an attempt to hide your thighs as Jeonghanâs eyes move over your frame with a curious but amused look on his face. âYou can just ignore her. Megan is feeling overly sociable today. Iâm super sorry.âÂ
Shaking his head, Jeonghan pushes his hands from the counter and removes the lollipop from his mouth, feeling your eyes watching his tongue as he licks his lips. You were gorgeous and he could almost feel the embarrassment coming off you in wavesâGod, he loved this time of year. âYouâre not bothering me at all. What? You think youâre chasing off all my customers?â Gesturing around to the empty shop, he smirks when you and your friend laugh sweetly at his joke. âBut, seriously, nice to do something other than stare at the Hot Topic sign for a change and you look cute as fuck.â Tilting his head, Jeonghan watches how you shift from one foot to the other, your best friend at your side giggling as you get attention. âPerfect length on you, gorgeous.âÂ
Squealing under her breath, Megan grabs your hand and turns towards you to hide most of her reaction to Jeonghanâs blatant flirting. âHoly shit, Y/N. Heâs so hot.âÂ
You werenât reacting the same; you seemed more bashful and taken aback by it. Pushing your hair behind your ear, you laugh softly and nod gratefully, avoiding Jeonghanâs eyes, finding his gaze too intense. âThanksâŠâÂ
âNo reason to thank me. Again, you two brightened my day.â Tapping the counter with his fingertips, Jeonghan drops his lollipop in the trash before gesturing towards the ice cream freezer next to his register. âYou guys want anything?â Seeing you start to shake your head, he grins, letting his teeth catch his bottom lip. âMy treat. My nameâs Jeonghan, by the way. Yoon Jeonghan.âÂ
Megan was not one to pass on free things, especially ones provided by incredibly attractive boys, so she is quick to tug you forward with a smile on her face. âI was seriously just thinking about how much I wanted something sweet.â Looking into the freezer quickly before meeting Jeonghanâs eyes again, she laughs as cutely as possible. âIâm Megan and this is Y/N. We go to the university.âÂ
As if that wasn't obvious, but Jeonghan pretends to be surprised, tilting his head and gasping. âReally? What are you two majoring in?â Opening the back of the freezer facing him, Jeonghan smirks to himself when Megan squeals again, tugging you closer to the counter. âYou can have anything. My favorite is the raspberry cheesecake, but Iâm a sucker for something overly sweet.â With his words, Jeonghan meets your eyes, watching how you shyly look away, your lips pulling up in a smile as you look down into the freezer.Â
âWell, Iâm getting my B.A in art history and Y/NââÂ
âIâm pre-med.âÂ
Cute, shy, and smart as fuck. Giving you a genuinely impressed nod, Jeonghan nods along with Meganâs words as she picks the chocolate chip ice cream in a cone. âTwo smart, pretty girls. DamnâŠâ Handing off the cone to Megan, Jeonghan barely meets her eyes as he focuses on you, seeing you shy away from him again. He wanted to get past that innocent shell of yours and see if it was just an act or not, but he already had a feeling it wasnât. âWhat do you want, Y/N? Vanilla?âÂ
Almost as if sensing the underlying meaning behind his words, you furrow your brows and clear your throat, looking back down at the ice cream as Jeonghan waits. Were you that obvious? Sure, you let Megan talk for you often, but she was more extroverted than you. You also werenât used to a guy looking at you like Jeonghan was. You arenât sure if its defiance, wanting to prove him wrong or your stupidity in that moment, but you shake your head and point down at the raspberry cheesecake. âYou said it was good. Iâll trust you.âÂ
Smiling a bit brighter, Jeonghan lifts his brows as he scoops two scoops of the ice cream into a bowl, knowing you are watching him. You were trusting him. That was already a good sign. He needed to get to know you better. It had been a long time, at least a few months, since he had a good prospect when it came to girlsâand you were perfect, just his type. Offering you the bowl of ice cream, Jeonghan lets his fingers slide over yours obviously on purpose as you thank him, your voice wavering. âOf course, gorgeous.âÂ
Megan was already snacking on her ice cream as she watched you with Jeonghan. She had enjoyed his attention, but she wasnât stupid. He was not interested in her; his eyes had not left you. It was almost tragic how shy you were being around someone as hot as Jeonghan when he was practically begging for your attention. You were too timid for your own good, but luckily you had been blessed with the best of best friends. âYou are so frigginâ sweet, Jeonghan. Like, for real! We are so lucky we ran into you.â Gasping as if she just had an idea, though it had been running through her head for a few minutes now. âOh my god! Are you busy this weekend? Thereâs a party at our friends house and you should totally come. You know, if you want.âÂ
Jeonghan was starting to like Megan more and more. He had been trying to figure out how he was going to meet up with you again. Was he going to have to just ask you out right then? But no, bestie Megan came through with a brilliant idea. âA party, huh? And you two donât already have dates?âÂ
âI mean!â Laughing as she links her arm with yours, Megan glances towards you, watching you take a small bite of your ice cream. She could see the look in your eyes, the one that said you wanted to run away as fast as possible. You had already told her you probably wouldnât come out to the party, and now she was trying to start something. âI totally have one, but Y/NââÂ
Furrowing your brows, you start to speak but the words get caught in your throat. Who the fuck was Meganâs date to the party? She hadnât said anything about having a date anywhere and now all of a sudden she had a mystery date? Widening your eyes and begging for mercy from her, you shake your head but she just sighs happily, looking back at Jeonghan, who leans back on the counter, taking out his BlackBerry and pursing his lips.Â
âIâd love to come. Here, put your number in and that way I can get the details later.âÂ
A soft, surprised sound escapes from your lips when Megan pushes you towards the counter and Jeonghan. Setting your ice cream down, you clear your throat and pick up his phone, carefully putting your name and number in as he smirks at you, reaching for a fresh spoon, taking a small bite from your ice cream, and humming happily.Â
âIt really is delicious, right?âÂ
Your cheeks had already been on fire, but now, watching Jeonghan pull the spoon through his lips as he enjoyed the ice cream, you were choking on thoughts instead of words. Nodding, you hand him back his phone and lick your lips, forcing yourself to speak. âIt is. I really like it.âÂ
Turning his phone back towards him, Jeonghan glances over your contact information like it's an award in front of him before he grins at you again. âIâm already figuring you out, Y/N. See you for our date this weekend.âÂ
Laughing awkwardly, you push your lips together to stop the sound, taking a step backwards towards Megan. âUh huh. Buâbye. See you later.â It was easier said than done leaving the ice cream shop, even as Megan took your arm, guiding you out. One glance back at Jeonghan getting a wink from him had you tripping over your feet and stumbling slightly. âShitâŠâÂ
âOh my god⊠Girl, chillax!â Megan was doing her best to make you look good, but you were making it difficult, tripping over your own two feet. Luckily for you, with one glance back into the ice cream shop to wave at Jeonghan, Megan found him watching you like you were nothing but perfection. âBy the way, youâre welcome. Iâm putting worldâs best wingwoman on my fucking resume from now on.âÂ
You were a good student: honor roll, Deanâs list, and in far too many clubs where you were president. To say that you were busy was an understatement. Spring break was never really a break for you. While others, like Megan, embraced the full meaning of the word break, you found yourself trying to get ahead on reading or planning for various club events when classes would start back in just a week.Â
Furrowing your brows at the book in front of you, it doesnât dawn on you that Megan is speaking to you, much less that sheâs in the room, until the book is taken out of your hands and closed. âHey! I was studyingâŠâÂ
âLame⊠Itâs spring break, biatch. Itâs time to sleep in late and stay up all night, not readââ Pursing her lips, Megan narrows her eyes at your book and reads the title like it leaves a sour taste in her mouth. âThe Fundamentals of Clinical Microbiology. Seriously? Letâs do something fun!â Tossing your book onto the desk, Megan whines your name, sliding onto your bed and pulling you close to her, practically cuddling, finally getting a smile and laugh out of you.Â
âUgh, fine. Like what? Do you wanna go see a movie?â You were hoping for something as simple as that, but knowing your best friend, it wouldnât be. She already had a mischievous glint in her eye as she reached for your phone, flipping it open and scrolling through your texts.Â
âNo, maybe. I donât know. There isnât really anything good out.â Kicking her feet against your bed, Megan stops on the text from Jeonghan that you had left unanswered.Â
Jeonghan: Hey gorgeous itâs Jeonghan. Let me know the deets for this weekend. xxÂ
âY/N! Why havenât you answered him? Are you crazy?â Turning her body away from you as you reach for the pink Razr in her hand, Megan giggles under her breath before letting out a dreamy sigh, replying for you.Â
Y/N: hi! omg Iâm such a ditz sometimes! canât believe i let this sit in my txts for so long. the party is on friday at 10. you can just pick me up and take me if you want. xoÂ
Smirking as she hands you back your phone, text sent, Megan sighs happily at the look on your face. She had once again saved your life. She was, in fact, the single best wingwoman on the fucking planet.Â
âWhy would you do that, MeganâŠâ Whining as you shift on your bed to tug your legs up towards your stomach, you snap your phone closed, hoping that it will stop the inevitable from happening. Jeonghan made you nervous. He was obviously older than you and there was just something about him that seemed dangerous. Not in a serial killer kind of way, but in a this isnât a boy you take home to Momma kind of way.Â
âBecause you are being stupid! He likes you and heâs really fucking hot.â Your change in behavior had Megan pouting at you. Why couldnât you be happy that she was helping you? Show a little bit of gratitude that your best friend was saving you from yourself. âYou are going to the party, Y/N. Now you have a reason besides hanging out with me. Seriously, you sit in this stupid room all the time with your nose in your books; have some fun, babe.âÂ
You want to keep arguing with Megan. You want to tell her that you donât want to go to the party, but the look on her face has you folding. âFineâŠâ Your voice is quiet, causing her to lean towards you so you will repeat yourself. âI said, âFine! IâIâll go. I donât even know if Jeonghan willââ You had started to say that you werenât sure if he would answer yourâMeganâsâtext, but the moment you started to say it, a ding from your side had your stomach in your throat.Â
Jeonghan: Itâs alright bbz. Iâd love to pick you up. What are you doing today? xxÂ
Smiling around her thumbnail, Megan kicks her legs again before sliding off your bed and stretching in front of you. âIâm gonna go to Jamba Juice and get something. You want?âÂ
How were you supposed to answer Jeonghan? Shaking your head to answer Megan, you glance up at her as she swipes her purse off the dresser and walks backwards towards the door. âYouâre really leaving me? Now? What am I supposed to say to him?â Holding your phone up like itâs a bomb, you show Megan the text as she opens the door and grins at you. âMeg! You started this!âÂ
âAnd you can finish it, baby! Love you!âÂ
Tapping his fingers against the counter, Jeonghan sighs as he waits for you to answer him. He had to admit, your text didnât really sound like how he expected you to text. It was too perky, but then again, he had only met you for a few minutes.Â
âDude⊠If you donât stock the freezer, I swear to God I will shove this mop up your ass. I promise you wonât like it.âÂ
âHow do you know?â Avoiding an empty bottle of cleaner, Jeonghan laughs as he pops back up over the counter to meet Joshua Hongâs eyes. He enjoyed the days his schedule overlapped with his best friend's. They had met in middle school, decided to share a desk, become best friends, and ruin their homeroom teacherâs morning all on the same day.Â
âIâm not kidding. I want to get out of here and get to Minaâs.âÂ
That was code for I want to get my dick wet and that Jeonghan could respect. Holding up his hands, Jeonghan leaves his phone on the counter as he moves to the walk-in freezer, dragging out a few of the large containers of ice cream that needed to be replaced. Joshua was right anyway; the quicker this was done, the faster they both could get out of here and on to something bigger and better.Â
Seeing Jeonghanâs phone light up, Joshua lifts his brows, letting his curiosity get the better of him while Jeonghan switches out the tubs of ice cream. âWhoâs Y/N? Is this the college girl youâre trying to fuck?âÂ
You had texted him back. Dropping the ice cream without much care, Jeonghan smirks, swiping his phone out of Joshuaâs hand so he can read your text.Â
Y/N: Just in my room. Not really doing anything. Might take a walk in a bit. WBU?
Now this sounded more like what Jeonghan expected you to text like. Lifting his brows, he nods to Joshuaâs question, resting his hip against the counter as his thumbs move quickly along the keys on his phone. âYeah, sheâs cute as hell. Just my typeâŠâÂ
Jeonghan: Sounds cute. Want company? Iâm finishing up at work xxÂ
Joshua knew what that meantâjust Jeonghanâs type. Rolling his eyes, Joshua wrings out the mop one last time as Jeonghan finishes his text, that stupid smirk on his lips. âSo sheâs helpless and probably dumber than a box of rocks. Could you be any more deranged?âÂ
Shooting Joshua a dirty look, Jeonghan puts his phone back down on the counter with an annoyed sigh. âNo. I mean, not all of that. Sheâs not dumb. In fact, sheâs a pre-med student. So take that and shove it up your ass, Hong.â He couldnât fight Joshua on the point that you were helpless. You had looked like you were made of glass and just the right amount of pressure might cause you to crack. Jeonghan couldnât wait to see how much pressure that was.Â
Y/N: You want to go on a walk with me? Is that boring?
âOoo, pre-med. She could still be stupid. I mean, fuck⊠Sheâs talking to you.âÂ
âFuck you. Iâm a catch and you know it. Finish your mopping and go stick your dick in Mina. You are mean when youâre horny, Shua.âÂ
Not hiding his amusement as Jeonghan sulks at his phone, Joshua shakes his head. âAnd you are a sensitive pussy when you arenât getting any. Hope she puts out.â Dodging a pen being launched at his head by Jeonghan, Joshua laughs as he pushes his mop and bucket towards the back.Â
âAssholeâŠâ Joshua wasnât wrong. Jeonghan was on edge. He had put all of his eggs in one basket this week, that basket being you. He didnât have anything else lined up; there was only you and a hope that youâd be worth his time. Were you already playing hard to get or was this confused routine you were playing at over text real?Â
Jeonghan: Not boring. Iâll finish up here in like 20 mins and head towards the campus. See you soon bbz xxÂ
You were panicking. This had not been the plan. You always took a walk in the evening. That had been your reasoning behind telling Jeonghan about it, not so that he would take it as an invitation to join you. Why would he even want to do that?Â
Quickly sliding off your bed, you whine under your breath, standing in front of your floor-length mirror attached to the back of your dorm door. You were not in the condition to be hanging out with anyone, much less someone like Jeonghan. You didnât even know this guy and he already made you so nervous your hands wouldnât stop trembling.Â
It took the entire twenty minutes and then some for you to get dressed and to slap on a fresh coat of makeup that made you look decent without seeming like you were trying too hard. It was just a walk; literally nothing special about that at all and yet you now had clothes scattered across your bed from the amount of outfits you had deemed not good enough before settling on a pair of jean shorts and a light sweater.Â
By the time that you stand in front of the mirror again, fussing over the details, you hear your ringtone obnoxiously blaring as your phone vibrates loudly on your desk. Clearing your throat, you look down at Jeonghanâs name on the phone in your hand before flipping it open and putting it to your ear and smiling so that you sound more confident than you feel. âHello?âÂ
âHi, gorgeous. Where the hell am I going? There are too many dorms and I donât wanna look like a creeper driving around the campus in circlesâŠâÂ
Jeonghanâs voice causes your stomach to tighten and heat up. You felt like you should ask him to stop calling you pet names, but at the same time, did you really want that? You were enjoying it too much. âUmââ Laughing softly into the phone, you grab your keys and lock your door behind you. âSo Iâm at Elkstone HallâŠâÂ
Leaning to look at the signs, Jeonghan mutters the names mostly to himself before nodding. âElkstone, got it. Be there in like two secondsâŠâÂ
ââKay, um, hey⊠You can park in 287. Thatâthatâs my spot. I donât actually have a car, but they gave me a spot anyway.âÂ
Smirking to himself, Jeonghan glances towards the building in front of him before turning into the parking lot, searching the spots by the numbers on the ground. âGotcha. 270âOh, got it. Nice spot⊠Must have cost Mommy and Daddy out the ass to get.âÂ
You arenât sure why Jeonghanâs comment makes you slow your steps, but yet you still laugh, awkwardly tilting your head. âUm, yeah. Wasnât cheap, but it was required. You know, in case I get a car or something. Plus my parents use it when they visit⊠So not a complete waste of money.âÂ
This was a good judge of your character already. You were timid about something as simple as how much a parking spot costâinteresting. Jeonghan could hear a bit of shame in your voice when you talked about it. Your family probably had money, but you didnât brag about it and didnât show off. So sweet and pure. Smirking to himself, Jeonghan locks his car and glances towards the building, seeing you waiting on the sidewalk, your phone pressed up against your cheek. Sweet, pure, fucking adorable, and his.Â
âNah, makes sense, Gorgeous. Iâm here, by the way.â Lifting his hand to get your attention, Jeonghan takes his phone away from his ear and hits end when you finally do meet his eyes. âYou always look this fucking cute when you take a walk?â He was still a few feet away, but Jeonghan could almost see the embarrassment coming off you in waves as you tugged at the sleeves of your sweater. Â
âIâwhat? No, I donât look cute.â You couldnât look at Jeonghan, not directly at least. He was standing right in front of you now; you could feel his eyes on you, but it was akin to feeling the sun on your skin. âJust, you know, pulled on something.âÂ
Jeonghan doubted that very much. He could see the bit of makeup you must have put on, though he doubted that you needed it. You had put in some effort to come outside because he was going to be here. It was cute and you were so shy that his head was going to explode. Reaching up to push his index finger under your chin, Jeonghan bites his bottom lip as he meets your eyes. âYouâre perfect and you look cute. Come on, Iâm here for an evening stroll.âÂ
Looking down at Jeonghanâs hand, his palm facing up as he waits for you to take it, you feel your hands start to shake slightly. Guys never made you this nervous. Not that you took much time to date. There had been a guy or two here and there, but nothing that ever lasted for long. You were too busy and, worst of all, in their opinion, wouldnât give it up. You werenât a virgin, just not heavily experienced like the guys at university expected you to be. You werenât getting on your knees at the sight of a cute guy wanting to look at his probably very ugly dick. So why now was this guy you had met a single time making you feel weak?Â
âWhy?â Clearing your throat, you shake your head gently, sliding your hand into Jeonghanâs and feeling him lace his fingers with yours. âI mean, why would you wanna come all the way out here to take a walk with me?âÂ
Jeonghan liked the feeling of your hand in his. He liked how you let him hold your hand properly. This wasnât any of that middle school hand-holding; this was fingers laced, palms together hand-holding. This made girls know you were sincere about what you were sayingâor at least seem like you were. âWell, baby doll, because I wanna get to know you. Isnât it obvious that I like you?âÂ
Could he feel your heart beating hard? It felt like it was beating so hard and quick that it was radiating throughout your entire body. The smile that pulls at your lips has you feeling even more shy as you lower your head and turn slightly away from Jeonghan. This was insane. Jeonghanâs words had to feel like you were both drowning and flying at the same time. The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering around so quickly that you almost felt sick, but when he stopped walking and guided you back towards him, you whined. âNo, I meanâthis is crazy. You donât even know me.âÂ
Your cheek is hot under Jeonghanâs thumb as he gently lifts your face back up so he can look at you again. âItâs not crazy. Crazy is not realizing you were in this stupid town all this time.â Laughing when you whine again, Jeonghan gives you a bit of mercy, moving his hand from your face and letting you walk beside him again. âI told you, I wanna get to know you. The good, the bad, the ugly...â
Sighing under your breath, you gently tug at Jeonghanâs fingers as you turn to walk backwards for a moment, looking at him to make sure heâs serious. The look on his face seems so sincere that it breaks your resolve. Moving back to his side, you let yourself linger closer to him, not seeing the smirk on his face as you give him exactly what he wants. âOkay. Um, then you should know that the first text today wasnât from me.â Furrowing your brows, you timidly look up to meet Jeonghanâs eyes afraid that youâll see disappointment behind them, but instead you just see slight amusement. âMegan took my phone.â
âAh⊠That makes more sense. I thought you seemed different from one text to another. Lessââ Laughing into his words, Jeonghan sways a bit on his feet, playfully pulling you with him, enjoying how easy it is to make you laugh along with him. âPerky.â Â
Jeonghan was making this easy. You were enjoying this. It felt natural. Nothing was expected of you. Just a girl taking a walk with a cute guy who could make her laugh. It almost felt too good to be true. âMm, yeah. Sheâs like that, but she means well. Sheâs maybe overly excited about the possibility ofââ The idea of saying anything about you and Jeonghan makes your nerves take over you in that moment. The bit of confidence you had gained in those few moments fades away just like your words, your eyes on the ground.Â
âPossibility of?â Bumping his arm into yours, Jeonghan smiles at your sudden mood change. You were interesting. Not just a beautiful face and a body heâd love to ravish, but a mind heâd love to explore for at least a little while. Jeonghan could see himself getting addicted to you quickly. âPossibility of this? Me and you, baby? Why are you scared of it? Iâm not gonna bite you.âÂ
He had a point. Jeonghan hadnât done a single thing wrong. In fact, he had only done a hundred things right so far. You hadnât known him long and maybe all the pet names this quick was a little bit of a shock, but they kind of felt nice to hear. You didnât mind being Jeonghanâs baby, his baby doll, or being called gorgeous. âI donât know. Havenât had the best track record with guysââÂ
âFuck âem. They aren't me, Y/N.â Taking a step backward, Jeonghan guides you with him until he reaches the retaining wall. âIâm not some burnout, college dipshit, whoâs just wasting his daddyâs money...â Jeonghan doesnât hide his smirk when you gasp at the feeling of him picking you up and sitting you on the short retaining wall so he can stand between your thighs, getting eye level with you. He liked having you like this. He knew that if he touched your cheeks again, theyâd be hot like youâd been standing next to an oven. Standing like this, Jeonghan could slide his hands over your knees, testing the waters and keeping his fingers from going any higher. âYou know that, right, baby doll?âÂ
Nodding quickly, feeling chill bumps erupting along your skin under Jeonghanâs fingers, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. âUh huh. Iâm sorry. I didnât mean toââÂ
âShh, I know. Justâfuck.â Glancing down at your legs, Jeonghan carefully slides his hands along your thighs, squeezing gently at the meatiest part and hearing you gasp only to swallow the sound. You were fucking perfect. Everything about you. From the way you looked to the way you reacted to him. âMaking me have to remind myself to behave.â Putting on a smooth, sweet smile, Jeonghan meets your eyes once again, noticing how your lips are parted just slightly as if you were on the edge of a moan. God, what he wouldnât give to pull it out of you. Patience. He had to be patient. âYou know none of the guys on this stupid, fucking campus deserve you, right? You know that, gorgeous?âÂ
Jeonghanâs fingers glide over your skin, staying closer to your knees, but you can still feel him higher on your legs. You feel the shame bubbling inside you because you want him to touch you like that again. Swallowing hard, you nod, agreeing with Jeonghan quickly even if you donât actually agree with him. Why were you doing that? Did it even matter?Â
âThatâs right. You know it. My smart girl.â Brushing this thumb over your cheek, Jeonghan coos softly as your lips part once again, your eyes falling to his lips before, quick as lightning, looking away. You wanted to kiss him. The feeling was mutual. âItâs getting late and I wouldnât dare risk you being out here after dark without me. Not with these shorts on, angel.âÂ
Starting to speak to tell Jeonghan youâve worn these shorts hundreds of times and nothing has ever happened to you, you stop when his thumb brushes over your bottom lip. The action not only stuns you but also does wonders to keep you agreeable. âUh huh⊠okay, Jeonghan.âÂ
Like clay in his hands already. You were speaking so sweetly, almost lazily, against his thumb. Jeonghan bet he could get you to do almost anything he wanted right now, but that would ruin the fun of this and the point of it. You were pumping through his veins now. He had thought he could get addicted⊠He just didnât know how fast.Â
With you walking back at his side, your fingers laced with his, Jeonghan smiles, feeling your head lean towards his shoulder. It was almost night and day compared to the walk to the end of the road to coming back to the large, ugly building you were calling home. Jeonghan hated it already. It looked too much like a prison and like somewhere he couldnât get into on a whim. âWhat do you have left to do tonight, baby?âÂ
God, you loved that. Baby. You shouldnât. You werenât anything to Jeonghan. Not yet. You couldnât beâthat was impossibleâand yet you felt like getting down on your knees and begging him to give it a label alreadyâbut you had more pride than that still. âUm, I was working onââ Smiling at the idea of what you had been doing, you shake your head and lean your head back, feeling embarrassed. âGod, itâs stupid. I was getting a head start on my reading for my classes next week.âÂ
A little overachiever. Thatâs adorable. Smirking to himself as the thoughts cross his mind, Jeonghan nods along with you, letting your fingers slide to the end of his as you start to walk backwards toward the building. âCanât even let yourself enjoy a break properly, huh? Good thing you got me to take you to a party and keep you distracted for a night, right? What am I going to do with you, sweetheart?âÂ
Swallowing hard when Jeonghan takes a step towards you so that he can slide his arm around your waist, you press your lips together and shake your head. âIâI donât know.âÂ
âYou donât know?â Carefully moving his fingers along your back, Jeonghan bunches your sweater into his hand, letting out a soft sigh into his words. âGotta get you to relax somehow.âÂ
Your eyes migrate down to Jeonghanâs lips one more time, but this time they linger before you watch them pull up into a smile. âIâI can relax. âM relaxedâŠâÂ
You were practically begging for it. You were looking at Jeonghanâs lips like they were made of candy. Licking his lips, Jeonghan nods along with your stumbled words as he rocks you in his arms once, just back and forth, testing how stiff you are. âDonât seem very relaxed. Seem focused on something. You wanna ask for something, baby doll?âÂ
Why was he making you ask for it? Didnât guys just usually do what they wanted anyway? No guy that you had never gone on a date with had asked you or made you ask for a kiss. Youâd get back to the door or, god forbid, their apartment, and theyâd just kiss you or try to make a move. Jeonghan was clearly so different. Whining under your breath, you furrow your brows, starting to turn your head away, only for Jeonghan to gently hold your head in place with his thumb and forefinger on your chin.Â
âAsk me or I wonât kiss you. Say please, baby.âÂ
It felt degrading and yet your knees were weak, making you rely on Jeonghan to keep you upright. âIâplease, Jeonghan.â Seeing him nod once as if to tell you to keep going, you blink a few times and lick your lips, trying to gain the confidence to speak up. âPlease kiss me?âÂ
Perfect. Pliable. His.Â
Cooing at your request, Jeonghan pouts slightly, running his fingers behind your ear before sighing. âYou are beautiful and you asked so sweetly. I donât know if I shouldâŠâÂ
Just when you think Jeonghan isnât going to give you what you had asked for, that heâs going to make you ask him again, beg for it, he smiles and presses his lips against yours, taking your breath away. You feel boneless for a moment, no air in your lungs; itâs like your heart paused for just a couple of seconds to let you live in that moment until Jeonghanâs lips are off yours. The second that happens, your chest practically aches. Your brows furrow tightly, your fingers digging into the sides of Jeonghanâs shirt to keep him close to you as he laughs softly under his breath, giving into you and brushing his lips against yours for just a second more.Â
âTime for you to go inside and get ready for bed, baby. I wanna see you get through that door before I leave. Make sure nothing touches my girl.âÂ
His girl. Sighing almost as if you were swooning over Jeonghan, because if you were honest with yourself, you were swooning, you nod to his words. âMmkay. Youâll text me?âÂ
You were his. What a silly question for you to ask, and yet that question made Jeonghan pleased. You were just as hooked as he was. âOf course I will. Nowââ Sliding his hand from yours, Jeonghan kisses your cheek, letting his hand that had been on your back slide over your ass before he takes a step back from you. âGet your cute little ass inside. Be a good girl.âÂ
Maybe Jeonghan hadnât meant to let his hand go that low, but your face was on fire again. Biting at your thumbnail, you just nod and walk backwards for a couple of steps before finally turning to walk normally. Every couple of steps, you look over your shoulder to see if Jeonghan is doing what he said to find him with his hands resting in his jacket pockets as he watches you make your way to the door.Â
Jeonghan waits until the door shuts before he grins and turns back towards the parking lot. Taking the keys from his pocket, he shakes his head and lifts his brows, feeling the rush of adrenaline pulsing through him. This had gone better than he could have imagined it going. Sliding behind the wheel of his Corvette, Jeonghan takes out his cellphone and smirks. He could wait and send you a message later but why when you were already wrapped around his finger?Â
Jeonghan: You are already running circles in my mind, baby girl. I canât wait to see you on Friday. xx <3Â
You could see the annoyance written on Meganâs face as she attempted to help you with your makeup despite your leg bouncing up and down. You were nervous. How could you not be? You and Jeonghan had been texting back and forth for a couple of days now, but tonight was the party and it felt like a huge deal.Â
âStop.â Pushing down on your knee, Megan meets your eyes, giving you a serious look. âIâm trying to do this eyeliner, but if you keep vibrating like that, Iâll poke your eye out.âÂ
Forcing yourself to stay still, you pout up at Megan before looking up at the ceiling, letting her continue what she had been working on. âSorry⊠âM justâdo you really have a date? Canât you just go with me and Jeonghan?âÂ
It hadnât been the first time over the last couple of days that Megan had heard this plight. Sighing, she tilts your head down and furrows her brows. âEyes closed. One, yes, I have a date. Iâm going with Jun from my dance class and two, I will not get in the way of young love.âÂ
It was even harder now to stay still. The eyeliner pencil was making your skin itch and your stomach was in knots. âI didnât even know that you and Jun talkedââÂ
âWell, surprise, we do. Okay, open.â Smiling at her work as if sheâs looking at a canvas in front of her that sheâs spent hours painstakingly painting, Megan nods. âSo fucking pretty. Like, seriously, itâs unfair that you are smart and have that face.âÂ
You watch as Megan turns and plops down on your bed, bouncing once before she starts to put away her makeup. âYouâre being sillyâŠâ Your words are quieter than you mean them to be, but they still cause Megan to smirk, her eyes finding yours briefly as you shift uncomfortably, turning to look into the mirror propped up on the desk. You did look pretty. Megan had done a great job with your makeup, even if it was a bit more intense than you usually wore. âThanks for helping me.âÂ
Shrugging, Megan watches you turn your head from side to side, looking at yourself in the mirror. âWasnât even a big deal. My bestie should look as hot as possible on her first date with her boy toy.âÂ
The idea of that had you groaning under your breath and pushing the chair away from the desk. âIâheâs notâI donât know whatâ-âÂ
âYou kissed, right?â Nodding along with you, Megan smiles mostly to herself as you carefully tug your shirt over your head, avoiding your makeup. She had helped you decide what to wear too. That had been a painstaking, hour-long debate. You had wanted to cover up as much as possible, but per usual, she had won out and now you were slipping on your new summer dress. âHe called you baby? Y/N⊠Be so for real right now. He is your boyfriend, or he will be by the end of the night.âÂ
You didnât want to admit that Megan was right. The conversations between you and Jeonghan told you exactly the same. Even if you werenât sure, he seemed pretty convinced. Tugging at the end of your dress at your thighs, you shift your weight from one foot to the other, pouting at Megan in the mirror. âMaybeâŠâÂ
âYouâre disgusting.âÂ
Laughing at Joshuaâs complaint, Jeonghan shifts his shoulder to push his phone closer to his ear as he drives. âWhatever. You can still come to the party if you want. I seriously fucking doubt they are going to care. Plus Iâm sure Megan will be looking for a dick to bounceââÂ
âAgain, youâre disgusting! No, Iâm not coming.â Rolling his eyes as he opens the door of his own car, Joshua feigns annoyance with his best friend while slipping into the driver's seat. âI have plans anyway.âÂ
âOh yeah? Gonna see Mina again? God, sheâs got you whipped. The pussy must be great.âÂ
Jeonghan was always good at pushing buttons. That went for anyone, but especially Joshuaâs. The difference was Joshua knew when Jeonghan was just looking for a reaction. They had been friends for too long and he knew this routine. âYeah, itâs great, man. Whatâs your deal? You act like Y/N doesnât have you crawling after her. Youâve been stalking her MySpace like a creeper all fucking week.âÂ
That wasnât a lie. You liked to post pictures. You took the time to make little albums and make your page perfectly you. How could Jeonghan not spend an hour or so just enjoying what you had offered up to the world? âMm, my gorgeous little doll. Tonight will be interesting for sure. Another reason Iâm shocked you donât wanna come with.âÂ
âThereâs nothing there for me. Besides, youâll tell me all about it later.â Making a face like heâs tasted something sour, Joshua shakes his head. âIn too much detail, Iâm sure.âÂ
Turning into the parking lot of your dorm, Jeonghan smirks, tilting his head slightly. âMaybe⊠Probably. Anyway, Iâm here soâŠâ Jeonghan had already pulled into the spot that you had told him about the last time he was here. He had only been here once and he was already feeling like he belonged, even if he couldnât just walk into the building like he wanted to.Â
âWhatever. Iâd say not to do anything I wouldnât do, butââÂ
âIâm going to do everything you wouldnât do.âÂ
Joshua laughs, knowing that Jeonghan isnât even close to lying. He had been through all of the stages with Jeonghan, but this one was different. He was hyperfixated on you. Any of the other girls that Jeonghan had set his sights on, Joshua knew they would be a quick one and done, but he had a feeling that wasnât how this was going to go. âAlright, sure. Later.âÂ
Ending the call, Jeonghan smirks at the screen, quickly moving to his texts with you glancing over the last view. Things had been going wellâvery well. You would text him the moment you woke up and the texts would come at least hourly throughout the entire day until youâd send a sweet little goodnight message. If he could get even more from you, that would be the cherry on top of the cake. He couldnât be exactly faulted for wanting you as obsessed with him as he was with you. Fair was fair.Â
Jeonghan: Iâm here baby doll xxÂ
There really was no hiding your reaction to Jeonghanâs text. You were doing everything but twirling your hair as you read it and Megan was observant. It didnât matter if she was putting the finishing touches on her own makeup; she knew swooning when she saw it. She had seen that look on your face more than a dozen times over the past few days. âTell Jeonghan I said hi. Iâll see you guys at the party, babe.âÂ
The butterflies in your stomach were swarming at the idea of seeing Jeonghan again. Biting your bottom lip, you whine under your breath, glancing quickly towards Megan before swiping your bag from your bed. âUh huhâŠâ The moment you start to turn towards the door, you stop and clutch your phone against your chest tightly, meeting her eyes once more. âYou sure I look okay?âÂ
âMore than okay. You look hot.â Megan could almost see the heat radiating off your face from across the room. She knew you were her most innocent friend and she loved you for it, but innocence had an expiration date. âJust donât do anything I wouldnât do.âÂ
Scoffing as you open your door, you find yourself stumbling over your own feet as you try to keep your cool. âIâokay. Youâd do anything and everything soââ
âExactly! I donât plan on making it home tonight and if you do, Iâll be so fucking disappointed.â Laughing under her breath when you slam the door behind you, Megan turns her attention back to the mirror in front of her. There was a good chance youâd still come before midnight, but she could hope that Jeonghan was the one who would bring you out of your goody-two-shoes shell and help you have some fun.Â
Just when Jeonghan was starting to become restless waiting for you, his lips pulled up in a smirk around the lollipop resting between his teeth. You were so fucking gorgeous and his brain was pulling in two different directions just watching you walk towards him. On one hand he couldnât wait to take you to this party and have you on his arm, and on the other he wanted to skip the fucking party and keep all eyes off of you. Did you even realize how pretty you were? Could you feel how short your dress was or how the wind was picking up the end of it around your thighs? God, Jeonghanâs mouth was watering at just the sight of you.Â
âHi, Jeonghan. Sorry, I was trying to hurry butââ A surprised sound slips from your lips only to be muffled when Jeonghan pulls you towards him as he leans against the side of his car. His lips meet yours and you taste the strawberry lollipop he had in his mouth on his tongue. You hadnât expected such a sudden kiss, but he had your stomach tightening and your head spinningâyou werenât complaining.Â
Resting the hand against your hip, Jeonghan keeps his fingers away from your dress so that his lollipop doesnât touch you as his other hand cups your jaw, keeping you close. You were better than candy and the soft little noises you were making had his jeans threatening to get tighter. Sighing against your lips, Jeonghan lets you lean back as he licks his lips and smiles at you, bringing his lollipop back up and offering it to you, watching you open your mouth shyly but obediently. âHold on to that for me, baby doll. God, you look like an angel. How am I gonna keep my hands off you tonight?âÂ
Strawberry candy quickly coats your tongue, and you have to swallow hard to keep yourself from drooling at the thought of Jeonghanâs hands on you. You werenât like this, so attention-starved, but Jeonghan really brought something out in you that scared you and excited you. Moving the lollipop to your cheek, you smile softly and tilt your head. âI dunno. You look really good. Youâmmm, you ready to go? Itâs a bit of a drive to Chanâs house.âÂ
Jeonghan was ready to go, but hearing the name of the friendâs house in question had him rolling his eyes even as he opened the passengerâs side door for you. âChan, huh? Chan who?â Scratching his eyebrow, he watches closely as you slide into the leather seat, your fingers under your soft thighs enjoying the feeling of the material under your skin. âHow close are you and Chan?âÂ
You hadnât realized how nice of a car Jeonghan drove until you were inside of it. Glancing around, you bite your lip at the idea of the soft top and how nice it would be to put it down. All of the thoughts slowly leave your head at the tone of Jeonghanâs voice and the questions about Chan. Blinking up at him, you take the lollipop from your lips and suck on your bottom lip to clean the sticky candy from it before shaking your head. âIâjust Lee Chan. Heâs a year or so younger than me and Megan. We arenât, like, super close. Heâs in Meganâs dance club.â Trying to judge Jeonghanâs reaction, you tilt your head and smile at him in an attempt to ease the tension. âHe just throws a lot of parties, Jeonghan.âÂ
Nodding along with you, Jeonghan smiles when you do before reaching for the lollipop, bringing it back to his lips to suck on it between speaking. âJust curious, baby. Buckle your seatbelt.â Not giving you time to speak, Jeonghan closes your door and moves around to the other side, sliding into his seat as you adjust your seatbelt over your chest with a sigh, once again looking around the car and towards the roof. âYou want the top back? Just gotta ask me for things. Canât give you what you want if you donât.âÂ
Something in how Jeonghan speaks makes your stomach tighten. You look down and laugh softly, uncomfortably, before shrugging. He wasnât wrong. It wasnât like he could read your mind⊠âUmâyeah. Iâve never been in a convertible before.â Your lips push together as you gather the courage to lift your eyes, meeting Jeonghanâs, finding him watching you curiously, his fingers turning the keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life. âItâs a really nice car, Jeonghan.âÂ
It was a nice car. Jeonghan knew that all too well. It was his pride and joy. Glancing around the car, he grins before reaching up to press a button, watching the top start to move back slowly. âThanks, baby. My dad doesnât know how to say I love you so he bought me a car instead. Iâm not complaining.âÂ
Even as you begin to feel the breeze start to move through your hair, you canât seem to find your smile after Jeonghan explains his car. That made more sense. You had felt bad for wondering how he could afford something so nice working at the mall, but clearly there was more to this story. âOh⊠Iâwe havenât really talked about our families, so I didnâtââÂ
âAw, baby. Donât worry so much.â Putting his car in drive, Jeonghan grins at you before tossing the last of his lollipop out the window. With his hands free, he sighs and slides his palm along your knee, feeling you tense slightly under his touch. âMy family is two ways to fucked, but it has its benefits.â Gesturing his fingers from the steering wheel, Jeonghan sighs, leaning his head back against the headrest. âMy mom shouldâa left my dad a long time ago, but sheâs just as spoiled as me, and people donât get divorced around here.â Â
Swallowing hard, you glance from Jeonghanâs fingers kneading into your thigh back up to him as he takes a left when prompted to. âNo, I guess itâs the same way where Iâm from. Iâve been lucky, though. My parents are really happy, and Iâwell, Megan says I have a charmed life.âÂ
Jeonghan could already see that was the case. He had seen the parking spot, your clothes, your bracelet, and even the purse you were carrying. It wasnât like he was much different in terms of money; his dad was a hedge fund manager, but when Jeonghan decided to drop out of college and play around, thatâs when his dad stopped lining his pockets so easily.Â
âItâs cute. How you clearly donât have to try for anything.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you look out the window to hide the way that Jeonghanâs words tug at your self-esteem. It didnât feel that way to you. If anything, you felt like you had to try harder. More was expected of you. It wasnât like you woke up one day and announced you wanted to be a doctor by choice. You were following in your motherâs footsteps. âTake another left.âÂ
Your voice had gotten so much quieter. You were meek to begin with, but now you were almost crawling inside yourself. Smirking to himself, Jeonghan rolls his eyes at your attitude change, knowing he struck a nerve. âAlright, baby. You mad at me? Was I bad?â Stroking your inner thigh lightly, Jeonghan glances over at you, offering you a soft pout when you do finally meet his eyes. He could see the way your eyes searched his. You were hurt; you probably wanted to be angry, but you were too sweet so instead you just shook your head. âNo? Iâm not a bad boyfriend, am I?âÂ
Boyfriend. God, you still werenât used to that term. When had it even been decided? You werenât sure if it had been that first night when Jeonghan had kissed you or perhaps during the text conversations afterwardsâbut the word made your stomach tighten. âNo, Jeonghan.â You didnât have enough context to tell him he was a bad anything yet and you wouldnât want to. How could you look at this handsome guy and tell him that he wasnât perfect? That would be insane.Â
Sliding his hand from your thigh into your hand, Jeonghan smiles, feeling you lace your fingers with his. âIâd be so upset if you were mad at me. Hate seeing anything but a smile on my beautiful girlâs face.â As if on cue, Jeonghan glances over to see a smile pull at your lips, giving him what he wants. âThere it is. God⊠Iâm lucky, arenât I?âÂ
You werenât so sure how lucky Jeonghan could be with just you, but he made you feel like a diamond when he treated you like this. You were special and his. Biting at your bottom lip, you hum out a happy sound as Jeonghanâs fingers tighten against yours before he lets go completely in place of having both hands on the wheel. The traffic around the party was a bit busier. You could instantly see the frustration wash over Jeonghanâs face as he furrows his brows and mutters under his breath, pulling into the yard. This wasnât an ideal parking spot, but it would do and there were already plenty of people taking notice of not just how nice Jeonghanâs car was, but who was getting out of it.Â
âHoly shit⊠Who is that?â There were plenty of other whispered conversations that started just like that as Jeonghan moved around to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him. People wanted to know if he was a senior or why they couldnât remember seeing him or his car on campus beforeâbut mostly he could see the lust in so many eyes. There was desire not only for him or you, but to be him or you. That was intoxicating and infuriating. He loved being the topic of conversation. Loved having the arm candy, but you were his candy and he didnât share.Â
âYou never told me I was dating the popular girl on campus, baby doll.âÂ
Jeonghan speaks right against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. Between the warmth of his breath and the breeze against you, you feel goosebumps erupt over your skin. Turning to look at him, you laugh softly under your breath, feeling shy under Jeonghanâs close gaze, but also at his words. âIâno. What? Iâm not.âÂ
It was almost too amusing how you tried to make yourself smaller as Jeonghan pressed his fingers into your waist, keeping you close to him. âNo? Funny, everyone seems to be paying attention to you.â Swiping a drink from the counter, Jeonghan brings it to his lips, taking a sip of the alcohol and enjoying the slight burn in the back of his throat as you seem to take in his words. He could almost see the way your eyes studied the crowd, a smile pulling at your pretty lips when a few people waved at you, earning themselves back a shy wave in return.Â
âItâs justâtheyâre just people from some of the classes Iâm in. They barely talk to me. I doubt they rememberââÂ
âHey! Y/N, you came!âÂ
Pressing your lips together, you see Jeonghanâs brows lift to the excited voice as he lets you turn in his arm to face who it belongs to. You werenât sure why it made you feel so self-conscious and almost guilty to be next to Jeonghan as one of your friends fawned over you, but your cheeks were on fire. Smiling at Chan, you nod along with him, leaning into his hug, feeling Jeonghanâs fingers slide from your stomach to give you space. âYeah! Yeah, I wouldnât have missed this. You throw the best partiesâŠâÂ
Chan laughs, his brows lifting as he gives you a confused look before he glances over to the man whose eyes havenât left him. âUh, wellâI mean, hell yeah. I have a reputation to uphold. Canât let anyone think that my title is up for grabs, know what I mean?âÂ
âWhat title is that?â Jeonghan was tired of watching this guy hold on to you and get your attention. You were smiling a bit too sweetly for his liking, and Chanâs fingers were still on your arm. Who the fuck did he think he was? Who the fuck did he think that Jeonghan was? Couldnât he see who you belonged to?Â
âOh! Channie is like the âParty Kingâ or something.â Rolling your eyes playfully, you laugh quietly, but it dies off just as quickly when you meet Jeonghanâs eyes only for him to turn his attention back to Chan.Â
âAnd I wear my crown proudly. Itâs made of beer cans. Soonyoung literally made meââÂ
âYou want a drink, baby? Maybe the Party King, planned snacks.âÂ
Furrowing your brows tightly at how Jeonghan cuts Chan off, you swallow hard and shake your head before quickly nodding when Jeonghan nods at you. âIâdâyeah. Iâd like a drink, Jeonghan.â You think that maybe Jeonghan will go get you a drink and bring you one back, but instead his fingers lace with yours and he starts to guide you away from Chan, who looks taken aback.Â
âUhââ Gesturing towards the kitchen, Chan shakes his head, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened as Jeonghan smirks at him. âThereâs shit in there. IâIâll talk to you later, Y/N.âÂ
You donât have much time to say anything, Jeonghan guiding you along with him as you nod to Chan, offering him an apologetic smile. You could feel your stomach twisting with anxiety even when you stepped into the kitchen and Jeonghan sighed your name. Your eyes follow his hands as he uses the ladle to pour some of the punch into a red Solo cup before offering it to you.Â
âThere you go. Is it good?â Concern was written on your face, but Jeongan just smiles at you fondly, watching you tip the cup back before nodding. You were so sweet and innocent, even now with a drink in your hand, that he felt like he had to guide youâprotect you. Lifting his hand to swipe a bit of the drink from your lip, Jeonghan hums softly, bringing his thumb to his own mouth and sucking it clean. âMessy baby. Here, eat this.âÂ
You werenât really hungry, but when Jeonghan puts the bag of chips in your hand, you take it anyway. How could you tell him no when he was just trying to take care of you and looking so perfect while doing it? Letting him guide you back towards the living room, you stay quiet at first. Itâs easier to let him guide the conversations and talk for you. All you have to do is smile and nod as you lean against him. It isnât until he presses a kiss to your cheek and tells you that heâll be back that you feel a layer of pressure lift from you along with anxiety taking its place.Â
This wasnât your sceneânot normally. Youâd come to a party of two a year, but there had been a good reason Chan had been so surprised to see you show up. You rarely actually accepted the invitations. There were more important things to do. You were always covered up with homework or some task that could be taken care of instead of doing what you were doing now: dulling your senses with the rest of your drink. Frowning at the empty cup in your hand, you look around for Jeonghan before moving back to your feet and into the kitchen on your own.Â
âThat shit is dangerous, you know.âÂ
Turning your head towards the familiar voice, you smile and shake your head, returning the ladle to the bowl before turning to face Kim Mingyu. You didnât know him well, but he was also pre-med and incredibly handsome. He was hard to miss. âOh? Tastes fine.âÂ
Mingyu grins at you, his eyes not so subtly moving over your face and down the front of your body before he sighs, picking up his own cup to get a drink. âI know it does, but what you donât know is that itâs 40 percent juice and 60 percent fuel. Iâd take it slow, you know, if I were you.âÂ
Watching Mingyu tip back his own drink as he manages to empty it in seconds, you laugh and sip at your own much slower. âGuess youâre glad you arenât me then, huh?â Your eyes move over Mingyuâs handsome face before you clear your throat, remembering who and where you are as you start to look for Jeonghan.Â
âI donât know. Being smart and beautiful doesnât sound too bad.â Feeling a pang of disappointment when your attention is pulled from him, Mingyu purses his lips and rests his hip against the counter. You were really one of the prettiest girls not just at the party but at the university, and this was a rare occasion that he saw you out and your nose wasnât buried in a book. âYou missing somebody?âÂ
Nodding along with Mingyu, you lick your lips and quickly shake your head, feeling a little confused as you try to think how to answer his question. âIâum, kinda. Myââ What did you call Jeonghan? Yes, he was your boyfriend, but it felt so weird saying it now. Just as you start to open your mouth to explain, seeing the look on Mingyuâs face, you feel a hand slide over your ass and up to your hip as Jeonghan pulls you back towards him, away from Mingyu.Â
âThere you are, baby doll.â Nuzzling his nose against the spot where your shoulder and neck meet, Jeonghan smirks at Mingyu, seeing the wheels turning in the manâs head. âYou werenât where I left you. Whoâs this?âÂ
Shivering to the feeling of Jeonghanâs nose against your skin, you whisper his name, feeling embarrassed by the very public display of affection in front of a friend. âThiâThis is Mingyu, um, Kim Mingyu. Heâs the same major as me.â Meeting Mingyuâs eyes, you watch his brows furrow so you add. âHeâs my friend.âÂ
Jeonghan hated him already. Friends didnât look at one another the way that Mingyu had been looking at you. He was looking at you like he wanted to take you to the closest surface and bury his cock in youâthat wouldnât be happening for him. âI see. Hi, friend.â Sliding his hand from your hip, Jeonghan offers it to Mingyu as he stays behind you, staking his claim with his eyes. âIâm Yoon Jeonghan.â Grinning into his words, Jeonghan turns his head to press a kiss to your head before adding on. âThis gorgeous angelâs boyfriend.âÂ
Mingyu knew what Jeonghan was doing. He was looking to get a rise out of him with his overplayed possessive act, but instead of showing how he truly felt about it, he took the manâs hand instead. âNice to meet you, Jeonghan.â Tightening his hand around Jeonghanâs more slender fingers, he watches how his brows tighten slightly before he lets go and sighs happily, as if nothing could possibly be wrong in the world. âDidnât know you had a boyfriend, Y/N.âÂ
âWell, Iââ
âSurprise. Here I am.â Whining into his words as he cuts you off. Jeonghan slides his hand back around your stomach, pulling you against him. âBaby, this party is a fuckinâ bore. Can we get outta here?âÂ
Meeting Mingyuâs eyes, you take another sip of your drink, feeling your cheeks burning under his and Jeonghanâs attention. You know you should take it slow, maybe even put your drink down; instead, you tip it back, causing Mingyuâs brows to furrow not only at your actions but also at Jeonghanâs when he chuckles your name. Â
âSlow down, angel. Itâs too strong for a sweet girl like you. Or didnât your friend already say thatâŠâÂ
So he had been listening longer than Mingyu realized. Sighing into a laugh, Mingyu tilts his head as Jeonghan takes the cup from you, putting it down on the counter. âI did tell her that, in not so many wordsâŠâÂ
âWell, donât you worry your little head, Mingyu; Iâll take care of her.â Linking his fingers with yours, Jeonghan smirks at Mingyu, then turns his attention back to you, cooing softly when he sees the slightly hazed look in your eyes as the alcohol starts to turn through your body. âLetâs get some air.âÂ
You lift your hand, waving at Mingyu, your eyes staying with him for a moment longer before Jeonghan ushers you out the door. The moment the breeze hits you, you shiver, wishing you had worn something longer or at least something that covered your arms. âOhâitâs cold, Jeonghan.âÂ
Scoffing softly at your words, Jeonghan nods before shrugging his leather jacket off and putting it around your shoulders. âOf course it is, doll. The sun went down and you have your pretty little ass hanging out of your dress.â Seeing you start to speak, a questioning look on your face, Jeonghan smiles at you and hugs you closer as he leads you towards the front yard. âItâs all good, baby. We can get in my car and Iâll turn on the heat for you. Would you like that?âÂ
The idea that your butt is exposed still lingers in your mind, causing you to look over your shoulder until Jeonghan speaks to you so sweetly. âMm, Iâd like that. I like your car. Itâs so pretty.â Leaning into Jeonghan, you smile as he starts to open the passengerâs side door, a smirk pulling at his lips before he guides you around to the driverâs side. âWhatââÂ
âGo on, baby. Sit down.âÂ
Looking at the empty driverâs seat, you furrow your brows and let out a soft but awkward laugh before shaking your head. âIâwhy? Iâve been drinking andââÂ
âSo have I. Weâre fine; we didnât have enough to matter. I wanna see you behind the wheel.â Urging you towards the car, Jeonghan bites his lip when you finally do slide into the leather seat. âYou thought it was a pretty car before. Now itâs fuckinâ gorgeous with you sitting in it.â Hanging you the keys, Jeonghan laughs at the surprised look on your face before he moves around to the passengerâs side, closing the door hard. âYou know how to drive, donât you, baby doll?âÂ
Your eyes move around the dashboard of the car before you meet Jeonghanâs eyes again, his hand guiding yours to the wheel before he takes the keys and starts the car himself. The loud purr of the engine brings you back to reality as you furrow your brows, adjusting the seat so you can reach the pedals and nodding to answer Jeonghanâs question before speaking. âJust donât wanna fuck up your car, HanâŠâÂ
His name, shortened on your lips, causes Jeonghan to take in a sharp breath. A pleased smirk takes the place of his grin as he nods along with you, reaching over to slide his hand along your thigh towards your knee. âI know, gorgeous. You wonât. âSides, thatâs half the fun. The rush of it, right?â Jeonghanâs eyes follow your hands as you slide them over the wheel before gripping it tightly and swallowing hard. âDrive it like you stole it, baby.âÂ
You start to argue again, any reason you shouldnât be behind the wheel on your lips, when Jeonghan squeezes your thigh and urges you to put the car in drive. You find yourself driving so carefully that your hands are sweaty as you grip the steering wheel too tightly and never take your eyes off the road. It isnât until Jeonghan sighs your name and slides his hand back towards your knee that you glance over at him even briefly. âI donât wanna go too fast andââÂ
âTold you to drive it like you stole it, baby. Let me help.â Putting pressure down on your knee, Jeonghan laughs under his breath when you whine his name, your foot pressing down harder on the gas. âThere we go. Feel that engine, huh? She purrs so good you can feel it through your entire body, right?âÂ
He wasnât wrong, as the car picked up speed, the engine putting in more work, you could feel the rev of the engine running through you. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. âOh my god!â Squealing softly, you ease your foot off the gas, hearing Jeonghan chuckle when you realize how fast you had been going. âYouâre crazy, Yoon Jeonghan. What if I scratch your car?âÂ
Leaning his head back against the headrest, Jeonghan grins at you and shrugs. âJust paint, baby. Turn up here. I wanna spend more time with you.â Easing his hand up more on your thigh again, Jeonghan watches you take a deep breath as you turn off the road and towards the lake. It had been a little bit since he had come out here with anyone, but you were just the right person to revisit one of his favorite spots with. Gesturing to a set of trees near the lake, Jeonghan lightly presses his fingers into your thigh and nods. âGood girl. Nice and quiet here, right? You still cold?âÂ
You knew about this place; it was a local hangout spotâor rather, makeout spotâbut you had never been there before with anyone else. Shyly shaking your head to answer Jeonghanâs question, you turn off the car and bite at your lips. âNot really. Whââ Smiling softly, you look away from Jeonghanâs intense gaze, knowing the answer even before you get the question out fully. âWhat are we doing here?âÂ
âAhâŠâ Looking out at the lake, the moon reflecting off its surface, Jeonghan doesnât try to hide the slight grin on his lips. You were perfectâso innocent and sweet. Were you really asking that question expecting a genuine answer or were you playing hard to get? In the end it didnât matter to Jeonghan. âWell, this is such a beautiful place. I wanna enjoy it together. Come on, baby.âÂ
The breeze was possibly even chillier by the lake, but you found yourself following Jeonghan out of the car anyway as you tug his jacket tighter around you. He was right; it really was a beautiful place and you could see the appeal for every single reason people brought someone else here.Â
Resting against the hood of the car, you sigh softly, enjoying the silence. You could hear traffic off in the distance but somehow here it was overshadowed by the sound of the breeze moving the leaves, the frogs chirping in the lake, and a quiet hum of insects going about their night. âPrettyâŠâÂ
Yes, you were. God, Jeonghan couldnât take his eyes off of you. All you were doing was existing, and yet he felt like he was going to go insane. âBaby?â Watching you lift your brows, your head turning to face him, Jeonghan smiles when you do. âI wanna kiss you so damn bad. Iâve wanted to all night. Can I? That alright?âÂ
It wasnât like Jeonghan hadnât kissed you before, but it felt different now with him asking. The look in his eye was different; it made you feel like you were melting into a puddle beside him. Nodding, you bite your bottom lip and let out a quiet laugh when he moves to stand in front of you, his hands sliding along your waist and down to your hips. You really wanted thisâto be kissed by him, wanted by him. It was addictive to have Jeonghan look at you like this, as if you were the only girl in the world.Â
Moving one of his hands back up to your neck, Jeonghan smiles just a few centimeters from your lips, hearing you let out the sweetest whine. You wanted him; there was no doubt about it. It was empowering to hold such an innocent flower in his hands and try not to ruin it all at once. âSo fuckinâ beautiful. Canât believe youâre mine.â Jeonghan sighs into his words, brushing his lips against yours as he steps closer, pushing you up against the front of the car. âYou are, right?âÂ
You already felt breathless and all that had happened was Jeonghanâs lips touching yours. Holding on to his bicep tightly, you furrow your brows and whine his name. It seemed like such a silly question. You were with him, werenât you? Whose else would you be? Nodding almost frantically, afraid that Jeonghan wonât kiss you, you let him help you slide back on the hood so he can step between your thighs, finally pressing his lips firmly against yours.Â
While Jeonghan would have preferred to hear you say it out loud, your actions were enough for now. It was warm standing between your legs, and your lips were softâJeonghan was in heaven. He could feel your soft moans going straight to his cock, and he wasnât going to hide that from you. Groaning your name under his breath, Jeonghan pulls your hips closer to his, letting you feel him, hard in his jeans against your thinly covered pussy. âFuck, the things you do to me, angel. Want you so badâŠâÂ
Gasping softly on Jeonghanâs lips, you close your eyes tightly, trying to stop the moan caught in your throat. One more rock of Jeonghanâs hips against yours has you not only clinging to him but also unable to stay as quiet as youâd like to. âIâshit. Iâve neverââÂ
This was even better than Jeonghan had anticipated. You were hot to the touch, not only between your legs but also on your cheek under his thumb, but the best part about it was that you were just as innocent as you seemed. âNever? FuckâŠâ Resting his forehead against yours, Jeonghan slides his hands along your thighs, enjoying your reaction. You were covered in goosebumps again, and you werenât telling him to stop. âNever done anything, baby doll?âÂ
Shaking your head, you take in a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself down but fail when you let it out on an even shakier one. âIâno. I mean, I have done stuff. Just notââÂ
Jeonghanâs eyes widen slightly, as does his smirk at your response. You had him wrapped around your finger without even realizing it. âYeah? What stuff?â Sliding his fingers under the end of your dress, Jeonghan grins when you whine his name, your cheeks burning even hotter. You were adorably embarrassed and it had his cock straining to be freed.Â
You close your eyes and cling to Jeonghan, afraid to answer while also being afraid not to answer. If you answered, would he be ashamed of you? If you didnât answer, would he be upset? Gasping at the feeling of Jeonghan between your legs, you lean your head back and whine once more as his lips brush against your throat. âJust⊠You know the normal stuff. IâI havenât dated much.âÂ
Chuckling against your throat, Jeonghan nods alone with you before pulling back to look at you and how you avoid his eyes. âNormal stuff, huh? Why are you so shy to say it?â You were crumbling in his hands. Jeonghan knew he could and maybe should let it go at that, but you were too fucking adorable. âTouched a cock? Had your pussy played with? Hm? Or did it go further? Did someone get their mouth on these pretty tits? Did you let someone fuck your mouth?âÂ
God, you were dying inside. Shaking your head, you practically sob Jeonghanâs name, feeling his thumb press over your nipple. You had never wanted to do much with anyone else, but Jeonghan made your stomach tighten with arousal in a way you hadnât experienced before. âJust touchedâah! Jeonghan, pleaseâŠâ Meeting his eyes finally, you struggle to catch a full breath as his thumbnail drags across your nipple, causing it to harden under his touch. âHannieâŠâÂ
How could anyone resist you? How was Jeonghan supposed to be a gentleman when you were panting like a cat in heat and calling him Hannie? âFuck, baby. Iâll give it to you. Lift your hips for me.âÂ
Pushing your hips up and forward, you gasp at the feeling of air hitting your skin when Jeonghan carefully tugs your panties down to your thighs. The hood of the car is cold against your ass, making you want to keep your hips up, only for them to be guided back down onto the cold metal. âHannie⊠itâs not comfortable.â You were visibly shivering now, but Jeonghan simply bit at his bottom lip, pocketing your panties.
âYou can be a good girl, canât you?â Â
Hadnât you been doing that this entire time? Nodding quickly, you settle back on the cold hood before gasping under your breath when Jeonghan guides you to lie down. Warm lips ghost over your inner thigh and you lift your head only to whine once again when you see Jeonghanâs head between your legs.
One hand keeps your dress up at your stomach, as his other hand kneads into your hip, enjoying the way you were already trembling. âShh, angel. God, youâre gorgeousâŠâ Sliding his hand from your hip to the center of your legs, Jeonghan groans quietly, using his thumb to spread your soaked folds. âWanna taste you so badâŠâÂ
It wasnât a question from Jeonghan; you knew that, and yet you were still nodding and whining out yes so he knew it was okay. The first swipe of his tongue between your folds is jarring. This wasnât something you had done before. You werenât such a prude that you hadnât seen porn, but seeing something you had watched on a screen happening to you was completely different. The warmth of Jeonghanâs tongue was intoxicating and every pass of it over your clit had you shifting your hips closer to his mouth.Â
You tasted just as good as Jeonghan thought you might. Your skin was soft and you were soaked, practically dripping on to his tongue. It was obvious to Jeonghan how much you wanted thisâhow much you needed this. âShit, babyâŠâ Shaking his head, Jeonghan marvels at you for a moment before burying his face back against you, his lips wrapped around your clit and sucked lightly.Â
The pressure that had been building up in your stomach becomes unbearable. Arching your back from the hood, you moan Jeonghanâs name and thread your fingers into his soft hair. Itâs like a dam breaking the moment that your orgasm rips through you. You try to stay calm, but Jeonghan only becomes more feral, his groans vibrating through you, making you lose all control as he greedily laps at your cum. âAhâoh my god! JeongâHannie!âÂ
Feeling your thighs shaking on either side of his head, Jeonghan groans and nips at your soft folds before finally giving you a break. He didnât want to move, but he also didnât want to overstimulate you so much that youâd be in painâthough the thought was so tempting. You were already crying; it was almost impossible not to look at those streaks on your cheeks and not want to see more. âFuckinâ perfect. Baby?â Now Jeonghan was whining, his lips skirting over your lower stomach, feeling you suck in a deep breath as you continue to shake. âWanna be inside of you. Iâm so damn hard. Youâre killing me.âÂ
If you had been nervous about Jeonghanâs mouth on you, this was another dimension completely. Swallowing hard, you meet Jeonghanâs eyes with nervous ones of your own. âWhatâwhat? Here? Like this?â Glancing around, you feel the wind blow against your skin as it moves through the trees above you. âWhat if someoneââÂ
âTheyâd be so fuckinâ jealous they couldnât have you.â Smirking against your skin as he leans to nip at your stomach, Jeonghan hums softly into his words. âWe can get in the car, gorgeous. Is that better? OrâI mean if you donât want me to love youââÂ
âNo!â Panic rips through you when Jeonghan even threatens for a second not to love you, though you canât separate the idea of him loving you from wanting to fuck you. You were his girl, and he was in pain. How could he not be, with his tight jeans holding his cock prisoner? âWe can get in the car, Hannie.âÂ
Offering you his hand, Jeonghan helps you slide from the hood as he glances around the lake, checking for anyone else around. Nothing but silence, at least for now. Resting his hip against the car, he grins at you, opening the door before letting the passenger seat fall forward so you can climb in before him. âFuckââ Rubbing his hand over his lips as you have to lean over, your dress pulling up enough that he can see the swell of your ass, Jeonghan tilts his head and groans.Â
The leather seat of the car wasnât much better than being outside, but the heat running through your body at how Jeonghan was staring at you made up the difference. Sliding to the other side of the car, you shyly wait for him to join you in the back of the car and for the door to shut. Your eyes stay fixed on him as he settles into the seat, near the middle. He was so calm in comparison to you and in some ways that made you feel better and yet in others it was making your heart beat out of your chest.Â
âCome here, babyâŠâ Smoothing his hands over his thighs, Jeonghan waits for you to move. The moment you do, his hands are on your waist, guiding you over his thighs as he groans happily under you. âIâm so fuckinâ lucky. You know that, right? Not just that we are here and doing this⊠but that I have you at all.â
Feeling your heart tighten as you almost swoon over Jeonghanâs words, you pout as you rest your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily. You feel yourself start to calm down, the pressure of the moment lifting from you before you lean down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. You were still nervous, your body trembling occasionally, but it felt right. Jeonghan cared about you and he was the perfect person to take care of you when you felt so vulnerable.Â
Jeonghan groans gently against your lips, his own capturing yours, enjoying how soft and sweet you are. You felt perfect in his lap and he had been struggling to keep his hands to himself, but the moment you relaxed under his hands, he moved them, slipping your dress back up your stomach. âSo prettyâŠâ Muttering under his breath, Jeonghan watches you shrug his jacket off, leaving him with more access to your skin. With each new inch of it exposed to him, his fingers working your dress over your chest and finally over your head, Jeonghan feels his mouth watering.Â
You shiver once again when your clothes are on the floorboard. Lowering your lashes, you carefully tug at Jeonghanâs shirt, urging him to take it off. âPlease?â It didnât seem to take much to get Jeonghan moving. His hands carefully move yours, letting him tug his shirt over his head. He pats your thighs and watches you crawl back over to the seat as he pushes his jeans down with his boxers, all the while knowing your eyes were on him.
Jeonghan was perfect in almost every sense of the word. You had found him devastatingly handsome before, but undressed he was ethereal. He wasnât like some of the guys at university. Jeonghan clearly worked out, but it wasnât all muscle that told you that, but how fit he was in general. His abs were softer, but as you moved back into his lap, you could feel each ridge under your fingertips.Â
You had felt soft before, but with your skin against his, Jeonghan was struggling not to throw you down on the seat and bury his aching cock inside of you. Sliding his fingers along your ribcage, he groans when he feels your soft breasts against his thumbs. You werenât some picture-perfect model and thatâs what made you even more stunning. There were tiny scars and blemishes in various places on your skin, but seeing them and feeling them under his fingers made Jeonghan want to spend hours exploring you. âMove to your knees, dollâŠâÂ
Keeping your legs on either side of Jeonghanâs, you whine a bit in distress when you feel his cock rest against your thigh. This was something you had never done before, though a few guys had tried to get this far with you. You had never felt ready before, but with Jeonghan, you just knew he would take care of youâhe would be gentle.Â
âSuch a good girl. You are so wetâŠâ Again Jeonghan was speaking to you but not meaning for you to answer. He was transfixed on the feeling of you against him and the way you were leaking onto his fingers. Carefully easing the first finger in, Jeonghan groans into his words, finally meeting your eyes again when you gasp his name. âFuck, youâre tight. Iâll be so good to you, I swear to god. Lean on me.âÂ
Doing as you are told, you lean forward and rest your cheek against Jeonghanâs shoulder as he slips a second finger in beside the first. You had felt this before. Your first boyfriend had asked to touch you a few times, but even if the feeling was familiarâremembering his fingers or your ownânothing compared to how good Jeonghan was making it feel.Â
âMy good girl. Push your hips back on my fingers. Just like thatââ Swallowing the last of his words, Jeonghan leans his head back, feeling your lips press to the side of his neck. His fingers were slowly stretching you, almost begging you to be ready before he blew his load just from the feeling of your pussy around his fingers alone. âOne more. Ohââ Groaning as you whine out a moan so sweet, he has to bite down on his lip before heâs finally able to speak, pushing his fingers into you deep. âFuck, you sound perfect. Sucking my fingers right back in, arenât you? Hmm⊠Is that how youâre gonna treat my cock too?âÂ
You had never been good at dirty talk. You werenât sure how to answer Jeonghan so instead you just moaned and pushed back on his fingers, enjoying the feeling and that bubbling pressure rebuilding in your stomach. You are right there, your orgasm teetering on the edge when Jeonghan groans into a chuckle and slips his fingers from you. âWaâHannie? Please?âÂ
Brushing your hair back, Jeonghan coos at you with faux sympathy as he uses his other hand to line his cock up with your dripping entrance. âPlease, what? Please, this?â Helping you slowly sit down over him, he watches with his lips parted in a silent groan as tears slip from your eyes and down your cheeks like before. You felt so fucking good around him and from the look on your face, you were enjoying it too.Â
Fullâyou felt so fucking full by the time that you sat down fully. Burying your face against Jeonghanâs neck, you whimper, feeling a stinging pain rush through you, but as quickly as you felt it, the sensation fades away. Tears were covering your cheeks. You felt overwhelmed by so many feelings but desire takes over most of them the moment that Jeonghan rocks his hips up towards yours.Â
You were clenching around him like a vise. Jeonghan had been with his share of girls. He had fucked a handful of what he had thought were tight pussies, but they didnât compare to you. Nothing compared to fucking you for the first timeâfor your first time. You were so responsive. Every single thrust, no matter how shallow and gentle, had your thighs shaking like you were right on the edge of covering his cock with cum. âSo, so good, baby. You feel good? Huh? You like it?âÂ
Jeonghanâs praise makes you feel like you are floating. You want to be good for him. You want to be as good for him as heâs making you feel. Nodding, you whisper his name and roll your hips down over him, earning yourself a choked groan. With that groan, Jeonghan tightens his hands on your hips and thrusts up deep and hard. âAh! Iâoh my god, Hannie.âÂ
You were ready for him to stop babying you if you were ready to try to fuck yourself on his cock. Heâd give you exactly what you wanted. Shifting in the seat to put you on your back, Jeonghan rests his forehead against yours as he pushes his cock back into you and rocks his hips forward as far as he can go. It causes him to see white for a moment with how good you feel around him. You were so perfect, warm, and wet. It was taking everything in Jeonghan not to cum in you right now.Â
Scratching at Jeonghanâs biceps, you manage to get out a moan between breaths as he thrusts into you harder, deeper, and faster. Pushing your head back against the seat, you squeeze your eyes shut, causing more tears to flow back towards your temples when your orgasm rips through you.Â
All the patience that Jeonghan had dissolves when you cum for him. Groaning your name, he reaches up with one hand to hold on to the seat when you lift your hips upwards to meet his thrusts, causing him to fall over the edge with you. He is seconds away from cumming inside of you before Jeonghan manages to slip from you and his cum paints your lower stomach white and leaves you feeling sticky.Â
âShitâŠâ Collapsing onto you, Jeonghan smiles when you whine his name, obviously a bit uncomfortable between his weight and the feeling of cum on your skin. âGive me a minute, baby doll. Fuck, you about milked me dry.â Groaning as he pushes himself up, Jeonghan looks between the two of you with a smirk before leaning to open his center console to take out some napkins. It wasnât perfect; heâd rather clean you up with a warm washcloth, but this would have to do.Â
Your eyes follow Jeonghanâs hand as he painstakingly works to clean your skin completely. The sticky feeling remains, but you find yourself not as grossed out once most of his cum is off you. Moving to sit up, you wince at the strain in your hips while Jeonghan quickly uses the rest of the napkins to clean himself up. You werenât sure how to do thisâthe after part. Jeonghan seems to sense your discomfort and leans to pick up your dress, gesturing his head for you to lift your arms.Â
âYou feel okay? I donât want you to get too cold. Once weâre dressed I can start the car and get the heater going, alright?â
Nodding along with Jeonghanâs words, you smile softly, your bottom lip getting caught between your teeth as you sit back, letting him dress himself. âCanâyou have my panties in your pocket, HannieâŠâÂ
Jeonghan simply grins, glancing towards you before picking up his jacket and offering it back to you. âI know where they are. Theyâre mine now. You donât need them tonight, do you?â
Heat rushes through your cheeks as you smooth your dress down over your bare thighs, feeling a bit uncomfortable with your lower half so naked. You want to say you do need them; ask him again to give them back, but the lust-ridden look in his eyes has you giving in. âYou can keep them.âÂ
That was more like it. Jeonghan was sitting a little bit away from you now and he could still just about feel the heat on your cheeks. Biting at his bottom lip, he smirks before sliding out of the car and offering you his hand once again. Pulling you towards him once you are on your feet, Jeonghan chuckles softly against your lips before kissing you deeply, feeling you rest against him for strength. The look on your face when he pulls back makes everything worth it. You were his. He could say, âLetâs jump in the lake,â and youâd go along willingly.Â
Settling back into the passenger seat, you let out a deep breath and close your legs tightly the moment that Jeonghan closes your door to move around to the other side. This wasnât how you thought youâd feel after losing your V-card, but you werenât complaining. Your heart was beating hard in your chest and every look at Jeonghan had you swooning. You were falling hard and fast, and him being your first was only helping you think that you were falling in love.Â
The drive to your dorm is mostly quiet. There are a lot of hushed giggles under the music from you as Jeonghan laces his fingers with yours and brings the back of your hand up to his lips. He was exactly what you wanted. He was so sweet and made you feel so warm. It isnât until he pulls up to your building that you start to pout.Â
âAw, gorgeous. Smile for me.â Pulling down on your bottom lip, Jeonghan grins when you do as he asks and give him a smile. âIâll text you when I get home, baby. Donât be sad. If I could stay here with you, you know I would.â Laughing into his smile when you whine his name, Jeonghan leans to kiss you again softly before speaking between kisses. âIâd curl right up in that bed with you and hold you all fuckinâ night. GodâŠâ His words seem to fail him when Jeonghan brushes his thumb over your cheek and stares at you like you are priceless. âIâfuck, I love you.âÂ
The words make you feel like you are going to pass out. Itâs too soon for him to say that to youâyou know that logically, but it doesnât stop your stomach and chest from tightening out of joy. Kissing Jeonghan slowly and sweetly, you hold tightly to his shirt and whimper before leaning back to meet his eyes. âIââ The words feel almost impossible, but Jeonghan tilts his head and you wouldnât dare hurt him. âI love you too.âÂ
His. The fucking boys you see every day should be here to hear you say that to him. He pictures Mingyu's idiot face hearing you say it and Jeonghan just grins brighter. âShit, babe⊠You sure you wanna go back inside? I could bring you home with me insteadâŠâÂ
You didnât want to go inside. You didnât want to leave Jeonghan, but this was one of the last few days of âfreedomâ you had left and all you could picture were the books in your room. âI have to, Hannie. I have class in a couple daysâŠâÂ
Fuck classes and fuck this school. God, you were too perfect in every way and some of it was already annoying Jeonghan, but he wouldnât let you see it. He wanted you to pick him over your stupid-ass homework, but he wouldnât say that to you. You were too good of a girl not to finish your work. âOf course, doll. Get upstairs and wait for me to text. I want a goodnight from you so I can sleep.âÂ
Nodding quickly, you kiss Jeonghan one more time before sliding out of the car. You find yourself looking back at him as many times as possible before the doors to the building shut, leaving him alone outside.Â
Jeonghan glares at the oppressive building and knocks his head back against the headrest. You had been out of his hand for less than two minutes and he was already feeling stir-crazy.Â
Jeonghan: morning gorgeousÂ
Y/N: good morning hannieÂ
That is how every day starts now. You smile at your phone, seeing a text from Jeonghan before you head off to class. Classes had been back in session for just over a week and you were already feeling the pressure of finals sneaking up on you. Jeonghan was a welcome distractionâor that was what you kept telling yourself.Â
Jeonghan: baby do you want me to pick you up for lunch?
You adored himâhell, you loved himâbut you were trying to get used to someone texting you regularly throughout your busy day. Sometimes you would get to the text right away and other times youâd be in class and not notice the texts until it was evident Jeonghan was annoyed.Â
Jeonghan: guess notÂ
Jeonghan: i can just get something by myself :(Â
Sighing at your phone, you adjust your bag on your shoulder as you leave your class and head towards another. There was a reason that you rarely went to parties during the year. You always overscheduled yourself with classes. You found yourself running from one side of the campus to the other in order to just make it on time. Now you were terrified to hurt Jeonghanâs feelings while also trying to stay on top of things.Â
Y/N: iâm sorryÂ
Y/N: I was in class. next time. I promise babeÂ
Now you were making promises youâd be hard-pressed to keep. Shoving your phone into your pocket just as it vibrates again, you whine and keep your eyes forward, walking faster in order to make it to your next class right on time. Sliding into the seat, you lean your head back as the professor shoots you a look before starting the conversation for the day.Â
Beside you, Mingyuâs brows lift at the state of you. Normally you were so well put together, but it seemed after break that you were constantly frazzled. Shifting to sit up and lean his forearms on the desk, he clears his throat quietly, getting your attention. The look on his face is clearly one of concern, asking, âAre you okay?â without a single word.Â
ââM fineâŠâ You shake your head and turn your attention back to the front of the class as Mingyu settles in beside you, doing the same. You were fine. This was all fine. You were fighting the urge to check your phone, feeling it go off again. The vibration felt like a phone call; it was either that or Jeonghan was sending texts back-to-back too quickly.Â
âY/N.âÂ
Hearing your name come from the front of the room, you sit up more and hold your hand down on your pocket as the vibration finally stops. âYeâyes, sir?âÂ
Narrowing his eyes at you, your professor sighs and gestures down at the book on his desk. It was the same book that you had in front of you, but yours was still closed. âCould you please read the next section?âÂ
Panic makes its way across your face as you look down at the front of the book, unsure where the next section is. You start to speak up and apologize when Mingyu pushes his book towards you and taps the paragraph.Â
Clearing your throat, you shift forward and muddle through the paragraph as best you can.Â
âIn addition to simple alkynes with one triple bond, research is also being carried out on polyynesâlinear carbon chains of alternating single and triple bands.â Hearing others in the room shift, a small laugh on each of their lips, you shake your head and try again. âSorry⊠triple bonds.â Mingyu nods along with you, reading silently in his book in front of you as you try to continue. âPolyâpolyynes with up to eight triple bonds are thought to be present in interstellar space, and evidence has been presented for the existence of carbyne, an alloââ
âYes, thank you, Y/N. Letâs all make sure we have our books open to the correct section. Chapter 9, Section 1: Naming Alkynes.â Â
Your head drops forward apologetically as you scoot Mingyuâs book back towards him and open your own book to the right place. You were always a good student. You had just had a rough start back from break. You would get through this just fine.Â
After an hour of following along in the book, you mutter thank you along with the rest of the class as your professor wraps up the day. Now you could check your phone. The stress of the moment was off your shoulders and you could take a deep breath.Â
[2 missed calls from Jeonghan]Â
Jeonghan: :(Â
Jeonghan: itâs not like you to avoid my calls
Jeonghan: are you mad at me?Â
âSeems like someone was trying to get in touch with you pretty badly. Everything alright?â Mingyu wasnât trying to snoop, but you were sitting right there pouting at your phone. âAre you alright, Y/N? You seem disââÂ
âIâm okay. Swear. Just a little out of it today.â Sliding from your chair, you pack up your things and smile at Mingyu trying to convince him as much as yourself. âIâm just tired.âÂ
That sounded about right. You looked exhausted; it was a little unnerving compared to how you were before break had started. âAlright, cool. Just checking.â Following behind you, Mingyu catches up enough to walk beside you as you look at your phone again, typing out a quick message. âSo⊠Thereâs a party thiââÂ
âUh, no. I mean, no thanks.â Gesturing at your bag, you fake another smile and let it fade into a small pout. âYou know I donât really do the party thing. Classes are kicking my ass, Mingyu.âÂ
Your phone was vibrating again and it had Mingyu curious if it was the same person. âYou gonna take that?â Watching you turn your phone over, he sees Jeonghanâs name and fights the urge to roll his eyes. âHeâs persistent, isnât he? He knows youâre in class, right?âÂ
Managing one last strained smile, you nod and flip open your phone, putting it to your ear. âHannieââÂ
âIâm waiting for you near the sidewalk. Iâll take you back to your dorm.âÂ
At his words, you look towards the parking lot, furrowing your brows when you do see Jeonghanâs car idling. âOh! Iâwell, okay. I could have walked baââÂ
âCome on, baby doll. Or are you too busy for your boyfriend?â Jeonghan couldnât make out your expression from where he was, but what he could see was that tall idiot from the party lingering near you. It had his blood boiling as you so clearly smiled at him before turning in the direction of where you were asked to go.Â
âLater, Y/N! Let me know if you change your mind about the party.âÂ
Cringing, you wave back at Mingyu before putting your head down and picking up your pace to make it to Jeonghanâs car just as he hangs up his phone. You force another deep breath before opening the door and sliding into the leather seat, your bag resting between your feet on the floorboard. âHi, Hannie. Sorry I didnât ansââÂ
âWhat party? The fuck was he talking about?â Jeonghanâs eyes werenât on you; they were still on Mingyu as he grinned and laughed with his friends in front of the building. âYou know, first you donât answer my phone calls. I donât know if you are even alive and thenââ Gesturing back towards Mingyu so you look at him only to watch you wince and look down at your hands. âThen you are lookinâ awfully cozy with that punk. Did he ask you out?âÂ
Panic was once again rippling through your veins with every hard beat of your heart. âNo! Hannie⊠heâs just my friend. I told him I wasnât going to any parties; thatâs seriously all thatââÂ
âAnd you think I believe that shit? Look at him, Y/N.â When you donât look back towards Mingyu, Jeonghan holds your chin firmly and turns your head for you. âHeâs probably telling all his little friends how easy you are. Heâs making us both look like idiots, baby.âÂ
You could see how Mingyu was laughing at something someone else said. As if feeling your eyes on him, he looks towards the car and lifts his hand to wave at you, not getting the same response back. ââM not easy. Iâheâs notââ Tears were sitting on the rims of your eyes as Jeonghan scoffed at you and pulled his hand away almost harshly, like he couldnât stand touching you anymore. ââM sorry, Hannie! I didnât mean to make him think Iâd do anything with him. I justâI only wanna do things with you.âÂ
It wasnât like the sound of you crying didnât affect Jeonghan; it just did it in a way that you probably wouldnât expect. Lifting his brows, he watches the first tear roll down your cheek and lets you sit in your shame for a moment longer before he tenderly lifts your head back up. âI know, Angel. Justââ Hissing out a breath, Jeonghan caresses your cheek as you blink away your tears, still muttering that you are sorry. âI just missed you, thatâs all, and then that punk.â Looking past you towards Mingyu, he smirks at the other man. For a moment he isnât sure that Mingyu sees it, but then Mingyuâs expression changes into something darkerâsomething similar to anger.Â
âIâm really sorry. I wonât miss your calls like that again and Iââ Swallowing your sob, you look up just as Jeonghanâs eyes find your face again. âI promise I wonât let Mingyu think that Iâmââ You werenât even sure how to say what Jeonghan wanted to hear.Â
âBaby, youâll tell him to fuck off. Tell him that you have a boyfriend.â Lowering his head to meet your gaze, Jeonghan nods along with you before wiping away more of your tears. âDonât cry, gorgeous. Gonna make me feel badââÂ
Shaking your head quickly, you turn your face towards Jeonghanâs palm, brushing your lips over it. You couldnât stand the idea that he felt bad over something you did wrong. âNo⊠Iâm sorry. Iâll stop; Iâm justââ Closing your eyes tightly, you force back your tears and nod. âI was stupid. Wonât let that happen again. I love you so much.âÂ
Cooing softly at your words, Jeonghan leans forward to brush his lips against yours, tasting the salty tears on your lips. âI know, angel. I love you too. I love you more than anything.â You were crying again, fresh tears slipping down your cheeks but Jeonghan knew it was out of relief. He wasnât breaking up with you. Why would he when you were so perfect? âLetâs get you homeâŠâÂ
âY/N!â Rushing back from the bathroom to tug on her shoes, Megan sighs at the sight of you sleeping on top of your books at your desk again. Shaking you gently, she waits for you to look up at her confused before she even says your name again. You looked like shit. You were exhausted and she knew for a fact that you were behind on your homework. âIâfuck. Have you ate?âÂ
Trying to remember what you had done today, you shake your head and turn your attention back to your books before gasping as you pick up your phone. Jeonghan had called and you had missed it. You were so fucking stupid. You had tried so hard to stay awake and answer every call or text, all while doing your late work, but your body had other plans. Â
âJesus, Y/N. Itâs just a phone call. He can deal.â Megan moves to close one of your books, hoping you will pay attention to her, but you whine at your phone, quickly typing out a text. âIâmâlook, Iâm headed to dance. Donât you have the networking club meeting likeââ Looking at the time on her watch, Megan sighs at you. âNow?âÂ
Normally youâd fuss at Megan for messing with your textbooks or anything on your desk, but right now you couldnât care less. You had made Jeonghan upset again. God, could you do a single fucking thing right? âUhâno. No, Iâm not in networking anymore. Theyââ Sighing as Megan pushes your phone down to make you look at her, you continue. âI was asked to step down as president. So if Iâm not doing that anymore, why the fuck should I go?âÂ
This was the second club that you had been demoted in and then quit. Megan had never really understood your need to be the best, but now it didnât seem like you cared either. âOkay⊠so what are you doing? You need to eat something, andâ fuck!â Taking your phone out of your hand when you stop listening in place of reading the text back from Jeonghan, Megan feels her blood pressure rising. âI think you should tell Jeonghan that you need some space.âÂ
Meganâs words feel like a dagger being stabbed into your chest, but itâs even worse when she holds your phone above her head to keep it from you. âStop! No, Iâm not telling him anything stupid like that. Give me my phone back!â She only manages to keep your phone from you for a moment longer. You get to your feet and jerk it from her hand, causing her to stare at you like you are a different person.Â
âHeâsâY/N, baby⊠You are tired all the time and always staring at your phone. Iâm worriââÂ
âShut up, Megan! Iâm fine and heâs perfect. Are you just that jealous?âÂ
That was enough to get Megan to react in a way that she had been trying to avoid. You had snapped at her more than once in the past week and over the month you had become unbearable. âYouâre not fine and Iâm not fucking jealous!â Staying close to you, Megan narrows her eyes at you and shakes her head. âI donât even know who you are right now. Heâs too much. Heâs intense and always keeps you on a leash. Y/N! Be serious⊠you know this isnât right. If you donât say something to him about how tired you are and how stressed you are, I fucking will!âÂ
Pushing Megan back, watching her eyes widen in surprise, you scream out of frustration and fear. âNo! You wonât even talk to him.â Your head was busting and your heart was in your throat from anxiety. âDonât fuck this up for me! Just leave me the hell alone!âÂ
Megan wants to say something, to pull you back down but the look in your eyes tells her she wouldnât be able to. You were too far gone. âY/NâŠâ Her words come out more like a whisper as you push past her, tears running down your cheeks. She hated seeing you like this. You were her best friend and she felt responsible for how different your life was now. She had been the one to push the idea of talking to Jeonghan and dating him, and now sheâd give up anything to go back to that day in the mall and avoid him.Â
Words start to form on Meganâs lips when you suddenly suck back your tears and open your cellphone, putting on a happy voice. âHi, baby! I miss you too. So so muchâŠâ Megan watches you grab your jacket and open the door with a happy gasp. âIâm coming down right now! No, no, of course Iâm not too busy for you.âÂ
Looking over the paperwork on your desk, Megan rolls her eyes at your lie as the door shuts. You had at least three unfinished projects on your desk, but clearly your priorities were elsewhere now.Â
It doesnât take you long to jog down the steps and out the door to find Jeonghan waiting for you next to the sidewalk. He was like a breath of fresh air, just leaning against his car. You hadnât realized just how much you missed him until he grinned at you, pushing his sunglasses up on top of his head. Squealing happily, you wrap your arms around his neck and give in to his kiss as if it were the only thing keeping you alive in that moment.Â
âYou too busy to hang out? I tried to call butââÂ
ââM sorry, Hannie. I kinda fell asleep andââÂ
Jeonghan narrows his eyes, his hands sliding along your sides as you apologize. âAt your desk? Baby doll⊠You need a break. Come on, letâs get you away from this hellhole and get your mind on something else, hmm?âÂ
You know you should say no. You should go back upstairs and get back to work on one of the projects that you were neglecting, but instead you smile and slide into the car without question.Â
âHannieââÂ
Licking your lips, you whine Jeonghanâs name as his lips move further down your body. Your fingers cling to the half-made bed under you. You hadnât spent much time at Jeonghanâs apartment in the month that you had been dating him, but every time you did end up here, you ended up in his bed.Â
It wasnât like you didnât enjoy it. Jeonghan could make you breathless with a single kiss and his fingers left your body feeling like you were on fire. The only difference today was how exhausted you felt and you two had barely gotten started. At least he didnât ask much from youâusually. You could lie in the middle of his bed and enjoy the feeling of him ravishing you. Normally you didnât have to lift a finger, but it seemed that today Jeonghan had other plans.Â
Groaning your name quietly, Jeonghan sits back on his knee, his other foot planted on the floor as he pushes his jeans down with his boxers. He loved your eyes on him. Youâd watch his every single move and it was like he could read your mindâsee every dirty thought you were thinking. âBaby doll, come here. God, I want your mouth on my cock so fuckinâ bad.âÂ
Youâd give him anything if heâd keep looking at you like that. Youâd do things you didnât really enjoy for him to praise you like he was now. Closing your eyes, you brace yourself for the feeling of the tip of Jeonghanâs cock hitting the back of your mouth. He always got so close to your throat and loved the feeling of your choking on him.Â
âShitâoh fuck. Good girl, just like that. God, you keep sucking my cock like that and Iâll cum down your throat.â Jeonghan could see the goosebumps that were spreading along your skin. He could read you like a book. You wanted him to cum, but he wasnât doing it in your mouth. Why the fuck would he choose your mouth when he could have your perfect pussy? âFuâfuck! Thatâs enough, baby. Jesus Christ, you are getting so good at that.âÂ
The first time that you had tried to give Jeonghan head, he had to coach you through it. You were decent at it, but too timid. Now you knew how he liked it: wet and sloppy. Jeonghanâs dreams were plastered with spit and cum covering your pretty mouth as the mess started to run down your chin and throat. Patting your thigh, Jeonghan runs his other hand through his hair as he helps you get into the position he wants you in. Heâd fuck you in any position, but there was something special about having you on your knees in front of him, your face against the bed.Â
âAhâdonât tease me, Hannie.â Whining under your breath, you scratch at the comforter under you when Jeonghan nudges his cock against your clit. This was a position you had been in for hours at a time. Jeonghan loved to tease and you were almost always at his will, but in this position even more so.Â
Smirking, Jeonghan taps your clit one more time before adjusting his cock and easing into your welcoming hole. There was nothing in the entire world like this. Your warm, wet walls hugged him and pulled him in closer every single time. Your hips were already covered in fading bruises, but that didnât stop Jeonghan from digging his fingers into your skin and pulling you back hard against him as he thrusts forward with a groan. âYouâve wanted this all damn day, havenât you, angel?âÂ
There was no point in lying to Jeonghan; it was easier to just nod and moan as he filled you completely. Perhaps you hadnât been thinking about getting fucked while you were at your dorm earlier, but did it matter now? You couldnât think of a single reason why it would as the trusts got faster and harder. You had started to like thisâthe way that Jeonghan could render you speechless and dumb. There was no real expectation in his bed other than to make him feel good, but he did the same for you every single time. âHanâHannie! There!âÂ
Your broken whines were almost as good as feeling you tighten around his cock. He knew what he was doing. He could and did play you like a fine-tuned instrument. He knew what made you tick and more importantly, he knew how to make you cum. Jeonghan had spent many a night with you learning every inch of it. He found out exactly how to curl his fingers to make you scream and squirt on his hand. He had almost died of desire, learning how hard he could fuck you before your legs would start shaking. âYeah? That the spot, doll? You gonna cum on my cock like a good slut?âÂ
Closing your eyes tighter, you turn your face towards the bed before you shake your head. You didnât like that part of this. Jeonghan liked to degrade you and call you names like slut, whore, and sometimes things that seemed even meaner. You knew he didnât mean it. This was just part of sex with him, but it never failed to make your stomach tighten with how bad it made you feel in the instant it came out of his mouth.Â
âNo? So you donât wanna cum?â Jeonghan tsks before bringing his palm down hard over your right ass cheek, feeling you tense under him. âThatâs fine, little slut, Iâll use you then. Remind you that youâre mine.â Smirking once again, he groans your name when he feels you tightening around him. âFuckâand maybe if you are lucky, Iâll let you cum for me.âÂ
You couldnât stop yourself from begging. You were so close that it was almost painful. It was less of a want to cum and more of a need to. âPlâplease! JeonghanâŠâ Tears had begun to soak the bedding under you as you sob out of frustration when he slows his thrusts with a laugh. You push yourself back on him only to get spanked again, causing you to give him what he wanted to begin with. âAh! I am! Iâm a slut.â Speaking through whines, you plead with him. âPlease let me cum. Please, baby. Need it so bad. Iâm yours!âÂ
Truer words had never come out of your mouth. âThatâs fuckinâ right you are. All of you is mine. Your pussy, this ass, your pretty titsâŠâ Biting at his bottom lip, Jeonghan holds back a groan as he thrusts into you hard once again, making sure he angles himself just right this time. âThis cum is mine, huh?âÂ
You try to nod, but with one more low, deep thrust of his cock, you fall flat on the bed. You felt exhausted; your legs were weak and shaking uncontrollably as Jeonghan laughed your name under his breath. This wasnât stopping him from finishing; it was incredibly hot to feel how tight you were with your legs together between his as he pounded into your tight hole.Â
âGood fuckinâ girl! Take it, babyâŠâÂ
Every time that Jeonghan came inside of you, it made your brain go fuzzy. He had fucked you well and left you full. It was like your body was finally satisfied and gave your brain the right to cut off completely. Catching your breath, you only furrow your brows when Jeonghan slips from you and slides off the bed. You could feel the pain in your chest of wanting to be held, but Jeonghan had a ritual after sex that you were starting to get used to.Â
He would go to the bathroom and get himself cleaned up before finally coming back to you and collapsing on the bed next to you. Tonight wasnât the exception. You didnât have any real expectations, but it didnât stop the lonely feeling that washed over you when youâd finally slide out of bed yourself and make your own way to the bathroom.Â
âBaby, when you come back, bring me a bottle of water.âÂ
Stopping in your tracks, you glance back at the bed and furrow your brows as Jeonghan smiles at you, causing your heart to tighten. God, you loved him. You loved him as much as you hated the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Forcing a smile, you nod and turn into the bathroom to take care of yourself.Â
Jeonghan is half asleep when you finally come back. He could tell you had taken a shower because you smelled like the shampoo that he had bought for you to keep at his place. There was so much he had done for you recently and yet it wasnât enough. He could move the fucking world for you and still not get everything he wanted. âMmm, câmere, baby doll.âÂ
Taking the bottle of water from you, Jeonghan tosses it to the side before pulling you into his arms and pressing his lips to yours. You had put back on clothes; granted, they werenât the ones you had come here in. You had changed into one of Jeonghanâs old shirts. He loved when youâd wear his clothes. His shirts would always end at the swell of your ass, giving him access to your skin. Squeezing gently at the fullest part of your thigh, Jeonghan laughs under his breath when you whimper into his mouth. âSorry. You drive me crazy. You know that?âÂ
You try to smile, simply nodding when Jeonghanâs fingers brush over your cheek and his brows furrow. Turning your head in his hand to avoid his eyes, you mutter his name under your breath. Your cheeks were wet with tears and Jeonghanâs mind was racing. You had seemed fine before the shower. He had fucked you good, just like he promised and yet here you were crying and hiding it from him.Â
âY/N⊠Baby, stop moving your damn head away from me. Whatâs wrong?â This was one thing about you that annoyed Jeonghan. How could you seem fine just five minutes ago and now you are trying to hold back sobs? Sitting up, he tugs you with him and holds your chin between his fingers, making you look at him. You didnât look like you were in pain, at least not physical and in his mind there was nothing that had happened to cause this. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
The shower had let you have too much time to yourself and your emotions were raging. You felt just as stupid as Jeonghan probably thought you were. God, why were you crying? The more you tried to figure it out and keep him from looking at you, the harder you cried. It took a few minutes of him coaxing the words out of you before you realized what was wrong. âIâm justâIâm so fucking tired, Jeonghan. Iâm exhausted.âÂ
Exasperated, Jeonghan sighs at your words, looking away from you. He knew you were tired. That was part of the issue he had with your fucking class schedule. Of course you were going to be tired when you were always sitting in front of some tight-ass professor who gave you too much work to do. âI know, angel. HeyâŠshhh. Stop cryinâ. Come here.âÂ
When Jeonghan shifts on the bed, you let him pull you with him and into his arms. Resting your cheek on his chest, you close your eyes tightly and try to do as you are told. It should be so easy to stop crying, and yet tears were still slipping down your cheeks and onto his skin. ââM sorry. Iâfuck. I need to go home, Hannie. I have so much work that I stillââÂ
âFuck that. Baby, you are crying in my arms. You think for a second Iâm letting you leave right now?â Shaking his head, he scoffs at the idea of you leaving. Where did you think youâd go anyways after dark? Youâd get your ass handed to you by the administration and then your parents if you were caught out this late during the week. âYou see, this is why I keep telling you to just move in with me. How much easier would it be on you? Iâd take you toââÂ
âHannie, you know I canât. Itâs notâyou know itâs not that I wouldnât like it.âÂ
Biting his lip hard enough to almost break the skin, Jeonghan shakes his head at your excuses. It always went like this. Heâd offer you something good and youâd refuse it. He could feel the frustration building its way to anger as you tried to speak between your tears again. âFine, then get up.â He could see the surprise in your eyes, but this was what you wanted, wasnât it? âDonât look at me like that. Youâre ungrateful, Y/N. All the shit I do for youââ Sliding from you to pick up his boxers and pants, Jeonghan scoffs out a breath into his words. âUp, Y/N. Get dressed. You canât go back to your dorm dressed like that.âÂ
You were moving slowly and Jeonghan could hear the pitiful whimpers as you kept your face down from him. He wasnât going to let you trick him into being nice again right now. âIâll wait for you downstairs. Once you decide to get your ass moving.âÂ
Jeonghan was pissed at youâyou knew that. Even though you didnât think it was fair for him to get upset over something like this, the shame that you felt for making him this angry was almost debilitating. He was right; you were so ungrateful. He had made you feel so good and held you while you cried; now you were getting what you deserved as you shuffled around the empty room putting on your clothes.Â
Leaning against his car, Jeonghan inhales deeply, causing the end of his cigarette to burn brighter in the dark. He didnât even like to smoke but since he had started dating you, it had become a more frequent habit. Why the fuck couldnât you just do something that made sense? How easy would it be on you and him if you lived with him instead of on that stupid-ass campus? He wouldnât have to worry about you getting hurt, you wouldnât cry nearly as much, and there would be less opportunity for that prick Kim Mingyu to see you. Jeonghan wasnât an idiot. He knew that Mingyu was still keeping his eyes on you and it pissed him off more than your mood swings.Â
With your arms tightly wrapped around yourself, you sniff back the last of your tears as you move towards Jeonghanâs car and the smell of smoke. It was just dark enough that you would have to actively work to see every feature of what was around you, but when Jeonghan took another drag from his cigarette, you could see the annoyance written on his face.Â
He doesnât speak to you at first; he just opens the passengerâs side door and turns his head away from you to blow out the smoke. There is a moment's pause before he sighs under his breath and closes the door hard, causing you to tense up as you wait for him to make his way around to the other side and slide behind the wheel.Â
You want to speak. You want to apologize to Jeonghan but itâs hard to find your words when every time you look at him, he looks angry and heartbroken. You had done thatâagain. You were good at this. You were good at ruining something good.
Jeonghan knew he didnât have to speak to you. There was enough happening in the car that his words werenât needed to get his point across. He could hear your soft sobs. He could see the way your body was shaking as you tried to hide each time you wiped the tears off your cheeks. It was heartbreaking as much as it was frustrating.Â
Finally sighing once again, Jeonghan takes the final turn towards your dorm before he looks at you more fully and slides his hand along your leg to catch your hand. Your sleeves were wet, but instead of letting that annoy him more, Jeonghan furrows his brows out of concern. âEnough, baby. Iâgod, you justâyouâre breaking my fuckinâ heart. IâIâm trying to do what you want. You said you couldnât stay with me so Iâm bringing you homeâŠâÂ
Though you knew that wasnât exactly how this had happened, you find yourself pouting into a nod as you link your fingers with Jeonghan. You were so happy to have his hand back on yours. You had felt punished and raw until he tightened his hand on yours. âIâm sorry. IâIâm so fucking stupid, Hannie. I know itâs my faulââÂ
âItâs mine too. I pushed too hard. I just want what's best for you. You know that, donât ya?â Watching you nod, Jeonghan pulls up next to the sidewalk and leans his head back on the headrest to look at you better. âIâm sorry, angel. I justâI got so damn mad because I love you so much. You get that, donât you? You donât even realize how painful it is to be away from you.âÂ
Jeonghanâs words are pretty and soothe you at the same time as making you feel horrible. You hated the idea of him missing you so much that it caused him pain. You understood the feeling more than he seemed to realize. âNo, I know, Hannie. Iâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry.â Sniffing back more tears, you turn in your seat and lift his hand in yours to your lips, kissing his knuckles gently between words. âIâd move in with you if I could. Iâd love it so much, butââ There was always a but and the moment you say it, Jeonghanâs fingers strain against yours, causing you to panic. âPlease! You know my parents would kill me! Try to understandâŠâÂ
Relaxing his hand in yours, Jeonghan sighs, though his jaw tightens. More excuses, but at least this time he knew you were right. The conversation had come up several times already and he had even been in the room when you had called your mom to broach the idea. He had heard her screaming at you and felt the anger rising in him as he did everything he could not to snap. âI know. IâI fuckinâ hate it, but I understand it. Donât mean I gotta like it.âÂ
Frantically trying to keep him calm, you nod along with him and kiss his knuckles again as fresh tears slip down your cheeks. âI know, Hannie. I donât like it either. Iâll try to talk to her again about it, I promise.âÂ
It was colder tonight. You were dressed to the nines and Mingyu knew he shouldnât be looking, but it was hard when you were standing there looking so lost. âYou lose your keys?â Watching you jump, having been lost in thought, Mingyu grins when he meets your eyes, seeing you slowly relax.Â
âNo, Iâno.â Laughing softly, you shake your head and turn your attention back towards the parking lot, scanning it for Jeonghanâs car. You wished he would hurry. Mingyu wasnât the first guy to talk to you tonight, but at least you felt more at ease with him nearby. âJustâIâm just waiting.âÂ
That was obvious. Shaking his head as he lets out another sigh, Mingyu glances in the direction you are looking before settling back on you. âYeah? You going to the party?â When you nod, he does the same, his smile becoming brighter. âCool. I mean, I figured with the outfit and everything, but yeahâwho knows. You might be waiting on a date or something.âÂ
Those words cause your brows to furrow and for a strained laugh to slip between your lips. âIâI mean, yeah, I kinda am. Iâm waiting for Jeonghan.âÂ
Jeonghan. Trying to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his name, Mingyu leans his head back and nods. âRight, the boyfriend.âÂ
What did that mean? Crossing your arms in front of you tighter, you turn slightly towards Mingyu and lift your hand from your arm in question.Â
âIâno, nothing. Donât get me wrong. I was just hoping we could meet up at the party if you werenât busy.âÂ
âClearly I am, Gyu. IâIâm waiting forââ Biting your cheek, you watch Mingyuâs brows furrow tighter as he listens to you carefully. âHeâs my boyfriend. ItâItâs seriousââÂ
âI get it, Y/N. Sorry, I pushed.â Unable to stop himself from smiling at how ridiculous this all is, Mingyu lifts his hands up and laughs under his breath as you shake your head. How serious could it really be with some random townie with a piss-poor attitude? âIâyou know Iâm just gonna say it. I donât like him. He looks at you like he owns you or something. Itâs a little intense.âÂ
Sighing, feeling exasperated by Mingyuâs words, you roll your eyes and turn away from him slightly. âYouâyou donât even know him. Donât be a jerkâŠâÂ
Rolling his eyes in return, Mingyu runs his hand over his mouth, letting you have your way. There was clearly something you saw in Jeonghan that no one else did. He knew he wasnât alone in being concerned for you, but he also wasnât going to tell you what to do. âIâm sorry, youâre right. I am being an ass.âÂ
You couldnât tell fully if Mingyu meant what he said, but the look in his eyes seemed sincere enough and yet his apology made your stomach feel queasy. âItâs okay. Iâm sorry too. For, you know, snapping at you.âÂ
God, you really were too sweet for all this shit. Shaking his head, Mingyu waves off your apology before looking back out at the parking lot. âYou donât ever have to apologize to me for something like that. Weâre cool, Y/N.âÂ
It was times like this that Jeonghan wished he could read lips better. Tightening his hands on the steering wheel, he pushes his tongue against his cheek and narrows his eyes at the sight of Mingyu next to you. What makes it worse is the two of you smiling at each other as you talk about some bullshit. Jeonghan had been running late, but he had never expected to find you like this. His blood was boiling but he was going to keep himself in check for now.Â
Gesturing out in front of him, Mingyuâs smile fades as he points out Jeonghanâs car to you. He could feel the heat off the other manâs eyes even as your smile brightens and you move close to the edge of the sidewalk as the car pulls up next to you. âIâll see you later, Y/NâŠâÂ
You barely acknowledge Mingyu before pulling open the door and slipping into the seat next to Jeonghan. It had been a couple of days since you had the chance to see him in person. The sight of him was like a breath of fresh air until he looked at you with a tight smile and your heart sank into your stomach. âHeâhi, Hannie. I missed you.âÂ
Had you really missed him? Scoffing under his breath, Jeonghan leans his head back against the headrest and nods. âAnd I missed you. Letâs go.â He didnât give you much more time to talk. He could sense the shift in your mood. Your shoulders were tighter, a little higher, as you chewed at your lips while he sped down the road, taking curves just a bit too fast.Â
âHannie, are you okay?âÂ
Rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses, Jeonghan only sighs at your words, keeping his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel. If you were asking that question, you knew the answer. You werenât as dumb as you pretended to be at times. You had to know what you had done wrong and he wasnât going to justify that question with an answerâat least not yet.Â
You felt the tension rising so instead of pushing, you simply looked down at your phone in your hands and stopped talking. This had to be your fault. You had done something or said something without realizing it; Jeonghan was giving you time to figure it out. Getting so lost in your thoughts, you donât realize that the two of you have parked until Jeonghan sighs again, bringing you back to reality.Â
âYou coming or not?âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you watch Jeonghan get out of the car and move towards the house only to stop and wait for you. Most times he would open your door and take your hand immediately, but apparently today was going to be different. Sliding from the seat, you carefully close the door before moving towards Jeonghan and his outstretched hand. If he was letting you hold his hand, he couldnât be that upset with you, could he?Â
âY/N!âÂ
You smile, but it quickly fades at Jeonghanâs raised brow. You were happy to see your friends, but the grip tightening on your hand told you that you needed to stay right where you were. âHi! Oh my god, you look so pretty.âÂ
Jeonghanâs eyes were on a swivel as you greeted your friends at his side. He hated these people and how almost all of them looked at you. He had enjoyed it at first. Any attention you got made me proud to be the one on your hand, but now he was starting to feel the tension rising in his throat. It was almost becoming too much; one more hug and he was going to lose itâbut to his luck, you excuse them both in search of drinks and a place to sit down.Â
Looking at the drink in your hand, Jeonghan sighs before bringing his drink to his lips and speaking between sips. âDonât drink too much.âÂ
You had never been much of a partier but Jeonghan knew that. He knew that youâd get drunk from one or more cups of alcohol, and he was good to keep an eye on you. Smiling, you nod, taking smaller sips, hoping to make him proud of you, yet his expression never changes. âThanks for bringing me to the party today, babe.âÂ
âMm. We arenât staying long so enjoy it while it lasts.âÂ
The arrival of Mingyu doesnât go unnoticed by many, but especially not by Jeonghan. The idiot was too well liked by all of these stupid-ass people and the moment he was seen, they called out his name in excitement. Of course he would show up. Jeonghan could feel his blood boiling as he remembered how Mingyu had smiled at you and how close he had been standing. He couldnât keep his hands off something that wasnât hisâmaybe he needed to be told.Â
Sliding from the seat next to you, Jeonghan squeezes your thigh and gives you a tight smile. âIâll be right back.â He gestures to where you are sitting and nods. âDonât move⊠So I can find you easily when I get back, alright?âÂ
Confusion evident on your face, you just nod and settle down in your seat more. âOhâokay, Hannie. Iâll be here.â Reaching out to take Jeonghanâs hand as he starts to turn away, you tilt your head and try to keep your voice low enough others might not hear. âAreâyou sure youâre okay?âÂ
Instead of answering you, Jeonghan just nods and leans down to brush his lips against yours, finally making you smile. âStay put.â Not looking back, he lets your fingers trail from his as he heads in the direction of the bathrooms before taking a right out onto the patio, where he had seen Mingyu go a few minutes before.Â
Mingyu enjoyed parties. He was a university student and fairly popular; this was his realm but sometimes it was nice to get a break from the music and loud voices. Taking a deep breath, Mingyu lets the smoke slowly billow out from between his lips as he rests the hand with his cigarette on it on his knee. It was a pretty night. The stars were almost visible even with all the lights and it was just cool enough for him to enjoy the feeling of his hoodie wrapped around him. Besides the low sounds of muffled music coming from behind the patio door, Mingyu was draped in quiet until the door opened and closed behind him.Â
Jeonghan isnât surprised when Mingyu doesnât check to see who came out behind him. He was cocky and overly certain of himself. Leaving his hands in his jacket pocket, Jeonghan watches Mingyu for a few more seconds before letting out a low sigh into his words. âI need you to do something for me.âÂ
Furrowing his brows at the familiar voice, Mingyu glances back as he moves the cigarette from his lips in surprise. He doesnât necessarily mean to scoff, but thatâs the sound that leaves his mouth when he lets out a breath of smoke. What could Yoon Jeonghan possibly need from him? Why the fuck was he even talking to him? It wasnât a secret that neither man liked the other. âYeah? Whatâs that?â Offering his pack of cigarettes towards Jeonghan, Mingyu waits for Jeonghan to move but when he doesnât, he just sighs again. âFine, Iâll keep âem then.âÂ
So fucking sure of himself. Gritting his teeth to keep himself from losing his temper right away, Jeonghan stays where he is, watching Mingyu rest the cigarette between his lips and move to his feet so he can face him.Â
âWhatââÂ
âStay the fuck away from my girlfriend.âÂ
The words hang in the air for a moment before Mingyu canât help but laugh. Was he serious? It didnât seem too serious, or at least it hadnât until the cigarette was knocked onto the ground and Mingyu felt the siding of the house against his back. Catching his breath, he meets Jeonghanâs eyes and his brows tighten with frustration and confusion. âGet the hell offâa me, man! IâI havenât done anything with Y/N! Sheâs my friendââÂ
âSheâs not and youâre a damn liar. You are always on her fuckinâ back.â Pushing Mingyu harder against the wall even as the larger man struggles to get out of this without a fight, Jeonghan glares at him. âAlways trying to take something that doesnât belong to you. Spoiled little prickâŠâÂ
Mingyu wants to fight back. He could easily push Jeonghan off him and probably get in a punch or two before the older could react, but that wasnât who he was. Mingyu had never been one to fight with his fists. He never lifted a hand in anger unless it was necessary, and the more that Jeonghan got in his face, the more it was beginning to feel necessary. The look in Jeonghanâs eyes was crazy â more than that, it looked dangerous. Mingyu finds himself becoming nervous not just for himself but for you. âIââÂ
âShut the fuck up. Iâm tired of hearing you speak, so just fuckinâ nod if you understand.â Nodding along with Mingyu, Jeonghanâs lips pull up slightly into a smirk as he pushes him back against the side of the house one more time and steps back. âGood boy. If I see you around her again, youâll regret it. And thatâs a promise.â He had gotten his point across. Mingyu looked small and scared; that was exactly how Jeonghan wanted him.Â
It had been around ten minutes since Jeonghan had left you, but you were still right where he had told you to stay. Pouting at your cup, most of the alcohol still in it, you consider downing the rest but remember what Jeonghan had told you. He would be disappointed in you if he came back to find you with an empty cup, knowing you had drank too fast again. So instead you sit still even as your friends say hi and try to pull you up to dance with them. You find reasons to decline: you are tired from classes, you are feeling too drunk, so many excusesâŠÂ
âYour drink that interesting, angel?âÂ
Jeonghanâs voice puts a smile on your face and seems to lighten your mood instantly. He had called you angel again. He seemed to be in such a better mood than he had before. You could smell a bit of smoke on him, but it didnât matter as you moved to your feet and wrapped your arms around his neck, listening to him chuckle near your lips. âMissed you. Where did you go?âÂ
This was his. You were his. Everything that was happening right now was exactly as it should be. Sliding his hands along your sides to your hips, Jeonghan closes the distance between his lips and yours with a satisfied hum. âJust to the bathroom. You finish your drink?âÂ
When you shake your head no, Jeonghan just nods, taking your cup and putting it to your lips, tipping it back carefully. âItâs a party, baby doll. You can enjoy it. I know I can be an assholââÂ
Licking your lips clean, you quickly shake your head and shift so you can kiss Jeonghanâs cheek, silencing him. âNo way. You arenât an asshole. You are just looking out for me.â You feel Jeonghanâs smile get wider at your words, his cheeks getting fuller under your lips before you pull back to take your cup and enjoy a larger sip. âMm, I can enjoy this with you knowing youâll keep me safe.âÂ
That he would. Nothing or no one would ever do anything to you while Jeonghan was around. âOf course. I love you.âÂ
Brightly smiling, you swoon at Jeonghanâs confession. You had heard him say it hundreds of times over the past couple of months, but it never stopped making you feel warm and safe. âI love you more.â Humming into your drink, you pout when you realize it's gone. âYou want another drink too, Hannie?âÂ
Jeonghan scans the room quickly and smiles at you, offering you his cup and letting you take care of him this time. There was less for him to worry about now. He hadnât seen Mingyu since their little talk and you were hanging all over him. He could let you go to the kitchen alone while he settled back into his seat and took in the music.Â
Weaving through the crowd, you bite your bottom lip lightly when you finally make it to the kitchen. It was less crowded in here. The music was still loud and there were cups and snacks all over the counters, but somehow this room felt less stressful than the living room full of people. You fill your cup and Jeonghanâs before you start to turn back towards the living room only to stop in your tracks when Mingyu meets your eyes and quickly averts them down to his own cup.Â
âHey, Mingyu! I was wondering if you were just kidding earlier or if you were really cominââÂ
âIâll see you around, Y/N.âÂ
Your eyes follow Mingyu as he turns out of the room and leaves, cutting you off. Maybe he was upset at how the conversation had gone before the party. You didnât think it had been that serious, but perhaps you had really hurt his feelings. With a look of confusion and disappointment on your face, you move back through the sea of people to find Jeonghan.Â
Taking his drink, he smiles into the sip even as you look at your own drink, lost in thought. He had seen Mingyu rush away from you and the disappointment on your face. At least one person had learned where they belonged today.Â
âCâmere, baby doll.â Patting his lap with his free hand, Jeonghan ushers you down to sit on his thighs before resting his chin on your shoulder, smiling next to your ear. âYou having fun?âÂ
You nod, but still canât shake the uneasy feeling in your stomach as you scan the crowd, feeling completely out of place for the first time.
âWe are just very disappointed, honeyâŠâÂ
This had become the weekly routine. You used to look forward to calls from your parents, your mother in particular but after your grades started to slip, you found yourself dreading the call.Â
âI know you are trying to enjoy university and the boyfriendâŠâÂ
There it was. The real reason that your mom was in a bad mood. She hadnât even met Jeonghan and she didnât like him. It wasnât fair. They should trust you and your judgment. You loved him and they should too.Â
âStop it, Mom. Itâs not even that big of a deal.â This was a conversation that looped over and over again. âIâm gonna pass.âÂ
âBarely! Youâdammit, Y/N. You were on the deanâs list. You were set to graduate top of your class. People are looking at you. Donât you even want to be offered residency at a top hospital?âÂ
You were listening, but you also knew this routine. Youâd feel like shit and try to push yourself more at the beginning of the week, but then youâd be so exhausted that youâd end up collapsing. There had been too many days lately where youâd barely make it back to your bed after classes and spending time with Jeonghan. Some nights youâd find yourself crashing at his apartment and rushing to class the next day.Â
âIâm only saying this because I love you and Iâm so truly concerned, honey. I thinkâwe think that it would be best to let the boyfriend go.âÂ
âWhat?â There had been hints at your parents wanting you to break up with Jeonghan, but your mother had never come right out and said it before. You hear her start to speak again, explaining her reasoning, but your heart sinks with your own words. âStay the fuck out of my life! Seriously, Mom! I hate this shit!âÂ
âDonât raise your voice at me, Y/N Y/L/N!â Though the conversations had been tense, they had never reached this level before. It felt like more and more of your friendships and family relationships had become strained lately. All of them are pushing you away from Jeonghan and, at the same time, pushing you away from them. âHeâs not worth ruining your life! I wasnât going to say this but I think itâs time you heard it! Straighten up your life or youâre coming home. Itâs not up for discussion, Y/N!âÂ
Tears roll down your cheeks and you try to speak through sobs only to hear your mother scream at you more over the phone. When it becomes too much, you close your phone and hang up on her, trying to run away from your disappointment and pain.Â
You were crying. Even from where Mingyu was standing, he could tell. You looked defeated and maybe that was the reason he didnât avoid you like he had started to. Glancing around for any signs of Jeonghan, Mingyu groans under his breath and lets his feet follow the concern digging into his heart. âY/N? Areâhey, you okay?âÂ
Turning your face from Mingyu, you feel more tension in your chest when he speaks to you. He had been avoiding you for weeks now. At first, after the party, you had given him a few days but then each time he had seen you during class or in the hallway, he would turn the other direction or find a seat further away from you. It was painful to have Megan be mad at you but she could only avoid you so much; Mingyu felt harsher. He had always been kind to you. He was like a bright part of your day during classes and his light had been ripped away from you.Â
Watching you try to walk past him, Mingyu groans under his breath again and reaches out to stop you, feeling you shrug your shoulder to get his hand off. âI⊠listen to me. Iâm just trying to make sure youâre okay. Youâre crying!âÂ
You scoff and still avoid his eyes, though your words are harsh and full of your own pain. âLike you even care.âÂ
Mingyu furrows his brows and shakes his head. Perhaps he deserved this a little bit, but he had only done what Jeonghan had told him to do. It didnât seem fair for you to lash out at him when he was trying to respect you and heed Jeonghanâs threats. âHeyâthatâs not⊠I do care! Iâm not an asshole, Y/N.âÂ
Scoffing again, you finally meet Mingyuâs eyes. âCouldâa fooled me.âÂ
You see the string snap in Mingyu even as you try to walk away again only to be pulled back by your wrist. âThatâs not fair! Iâ dammit, Y/N. Iâ stop walking away.â Letting you jerk your hand from his, he sighs your name and stays still even as your eyes dig into him like daggers. âSomethingâs wrong with you. Itâs been wrong for a while now and we both know what it is. Itâs Jeonghan!âÂ
Oh, so him too. Of course heâd be like this. He avoided you for weeks and now heâs got so much to say. Your heart pounds in your chest as you glare at him and shake your head. âNo! Heâs fine. Heâsâ he loves me and I love him. Why is everyone being like thââ
âHeâs a possessive asshole, Y/N! You are so blinded by him you donât see it.â Taking a step forward, Mingyu knows he should just let this go but someone needs to try to make you see it. âHe threatened me and told me to leave you alone. He said Iâd regret it! You think I wanna act like this? Be for real, Y/N and open your eyes.âÂ
You start to speak, tears clouding your vision when you think back to the party and the moment that Mingyu had started avoiding you. Jeonghanâs behavior had changed so much from one moment to the next, but heâd neverâ
âGet in the fuckinâ car, Y/N!âÂ
The sound of tires against pavement near you and Jeonghanâs angry voice make you stop and you both look towards the red Corvette idling next to you on the road. You didnât know that Jeonghan was coming to visit, but then again, it wasnât like he asked or told you. He just did. Ignoring Mingyuâs quiet pleas for you not to get into the car, you shrug his hand from your arm one more time before sliding into the seat and slamming the door.Â
Watching Mingyu in the rearview mirror, Jeonghan tightens his hands on the steering wheel hard, causing his knuckles to turn white. You were crying but he wasnât in the mood to listen to it. âStop whiningâŠâÂ
You try to suck back your tears, wrapping your arms around you, feeling Jeonghanâs anger radiating towards you from his seat. âIâm sorry. Iâm trying. Mingyu was justââ You start and stop when Jeonghan scoffs under his breath. âIâm just trying to tell you what was happening, Jeonghan.âÂ
âI know what was happening, Y/N! Iâm not a fuckinâ moron.â Slamming on the brakes, Jeonghan puts the car into park and glares at you as you put your hand to your chest where your seatbelt caught you. âWhy the fuck are you out here acting like a whore? Huh? Am I not good enough for you, Princess?âÂ
Jeonghan sees more confusion spread across your face, but he doesnât give you time to speak. There was still plenty he needed and wanted to say. âYou get some cock from me and suddenly youâre a slut? Gonna take any from anyone?âÂ
âNo! What?! HannieââÂ
âDonât Hannie me.â Putting the car back into drive, Jeonghan slams his foot down on the gas even as you whine his name and hold tightly to the handle above the door.Â
âStop. Please? I really didnât do anything wrong.â Clearly that wasnât what Jeonghan wanted to hear, as he takes a turn so fast that the tires squeal and make your stomach flip. âIâm scared, Jeonghan! Iâm sorry! Please?!âÂ
With another turn taken too sharply, Jeonghan scoffs under his breath and only speeds up. He knew he was frightening you, but not even your pleas for forgiveness were making a difference right now. It isnât until you scream his name and tell him to let you out of the car that he seems to come back to his senses, letting off the gas.Â
âWhâY/NâŠâÂ
âDonât! Let me out!âÂ
Panic starts to rise in Jeonghan as he pulls his car over to the side of the road and reaches out for your hands, only for you to pull them back. âBaby! Iâm sorry! I just got so pissed off!âÂ
That was an understatement and after most of what you had seen with Jeonghan and experienced, you would easily accept his apology. This time, however, your stomach was in your throat. You had felt true fear waiting for him to take one turn just a hair wrong and for the car to collide with something else. Everything you had heard from Megan, your mother, and Mingyu flashes through your mind in just a few seconds when you meet Jeonghanâs eyes, barely hearing him plead for your forgiveness.Â
âIâm an idiot! I donât know what I was thinking! I justâI love you so fuckinâ much that it makes me a little crazy sometimes.â Trying to grab your hands again, Jeonghan feels tears prick at his eyes as you smack his away and reach for the door, pushing it open. âWhere are you going? Baby, get back in the fuckinâ car! We are in the middle of nowhere! Least let me take you homeâŠâÂ
âNo! Iâm done, Jeonghan!â You were having a hard time believing yourself, but you managed enough conviction in your voice to get your point across and to see the realization move over Jeonghanâs face.Â
âNo! What do you mean youâre done?!â Jeonghan watches in horror as you open your phone and put it to your ear, calling someone. You werenât letting him take you home. You were refusing to get back in the car. Yes, he could get out and force you back in, but the realization of what he had just done sits on him like a pile of bricks. How had he let himself go that far? He could have killed you both because he was angry. âBaby! Who are you calling?âÂ
Ignoring Jeonghan even as he gets out of the car, leaning over the top to plead with you more, you hold your phone tighter to your ear, feeling relief wash over you when you hear a confused âhello?â âI need help. Can you come get me?â Walking away from Jeonghanâs car, you hear your name frantically called behind you even as you try to ignore it.Â
âYeah⊠Where are you? Iâm leaving right now.â Mingyu could hear Jeonghanâs voice in the background and he sounded pissed. He had been terrified when you got into his car and watched the Corvette take off with reckless abandon. âAre you okay, Y/N? Doâshould I call the police?âÂ
Running his hands over his face, your name dies on Jeonghanâs tongue as you continue to walk away from him. He had done it this time. Maybe if he let you get some time to yourself, youâd realize how bad of a decision this wasâbut even as the thought occurred to him, he knew that wouldnât happen. He had fucked up this time.Â
How truly fucked up he was didnât hit him until he saw the black Impala pull up next to you and he watched you get into the passenger seat. He knew whose car that was and even though the man avoided his eyes, he knew you had called Kim Mingyu to come get you. This was worse than you breaking up with him. This was a stab to the gut as he watched Mingyu turn in the road and head back towards the university with you in tow.Â
When you wake up, you are almost afraid to look at your phone. Every single day had been like living in limbo since you had broken up with Jeonghan. You always had dozens of missed calls and even more text messages for you to ignore. You had read them at first; they always ranged from devastated to furious, but you never answered them. You had made a promise that you wouldnât. It wasnât just a promise to friends, but also one to yourself.Â
It had taken over a week for you to get rid of the instinct to run to Jeonghan to escape this painful feeling in your heart. You were broken, but you hadnât realized how much until you were forcing yourself to stay away from him.Â
At first you slept even less than you had before. You cried yourself to sleep and then finally you started to sleep too much. The depression hit you like waves no matter who was by your side trying to help you through it. You had thought that you had pushed away everyone. That had been the first thought you had after coming home, that no one would want to be around you like they were beforeâbut instead you found yourself surrounded with even more love and care.Â
âY/N, babe⊠Let me block him. I know you donât wanna do it, but I canââÂ
âNot yet.â
Megan had been your biggest supporter. You had gotten out of Mingyuâs car and fell right into her arms. She had spent days making sure you were eating and keeping yourself clean. Your mind had let you think that she hated you and wanted you to fail, but like Jeonghanâs many pretty words, that was also a lie.Â
âSheâll do it when sheâs ready. Come on, try to sit up and eat.âÂ
Mingyu had been right there too. You wouldnât have blamed him if he had rid you from his life completely after everything had happened, but instead he stayed. He didnât push for anything; he only offered. All you felt when you looked at him now was regret for how you had treated him and how you had let Jeonghan treat himâthough heâd never accept your apology for it. He just reminded you how it wasnât your fault and heâd never think it was.Â
It would take you a while to get past this. You still felt Jeonghan in your heart. You could still hear him tell you that he loved youâbut as the days faded into one another, you started to question it more. Had he ever really loved you, or were you just a prize that he had wanted to keep?
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Drive It Like You Stole It (teaser)
pairing; yoon jeonghan x f reader (x kim mingyu)
genre; smut (minor dni), TOXIC, heavy angst, university au, 00's au
summary; A girl in a red dress sees me. A girl in a red dress swoons. Iâm not done tonight. What do you make of it? I got a little red Corvette parked outside with your name.
content warnings; mental and verbal abuse, shaming, jealousy, jeonghan isn't your knight in shining armor, alcohol, eating/drinking, smoking, reckless driving, degrading names, fighting/arguing, crying, depression, stress/anxiety, mention of parents/arguing with parents, fuckboy mentality, lovebombing, yandere!jeonghan
smut warnings; unprotected sex, outdoor sex, car sex, virgin!reader, oral (f & m giving/receiving), fingering, dirty talk, degrading/praising, pet names, crying, impact play
w/c; 27k and some change [3.8k teaser] (569 patreon bonus)
a/n; thank you to @junkissed for proofreading. you know i am always grateful, but i know this one was heavy. please read all the warnings and know this is the most toxic fic i've ever written. it might not be your cup of tea. but if you do read, I hope you enjoy it!
this fic will be released 6/1 to read the full fic with the bonus now subscribe to my patreon and click here
Tapping his fingers against the counter, Jeonghan sighs as he waits for you to answer him. He had to admit, your text didnât really sound like how he expected you to text. It was too perky, but then again, he had only met you for a few minutes.Â
âDude⊠If you donât stock the freezer, I swear to God I will shove this mop up your ass. I promise you wonât like it.âÂ
âHow do you know?â Avoiding an empty bottle of cleaner, Jeonghan laughs as he pops back up over the counter to meet Joshua Hongâs eyes. He enjoyed the days his schedule overlapped with his best friend's. They had met in middle school, decided to share a desk, become best friends, and ruin their homeroom teacherâs morning all on the same day.Â
âIâm not kidding. I want to get out of here and get to Minaâs.âÂ
That was code for I want to get my dick wet and that Jeonghan could respect. Holding up his hands, Jeonghan leaves his phone on the counter as he moves to the walk-in freezer, dragging out a few of the large containers of ice cream that needed to be replaced. Joshua was right anyway; the quicker this was done, the faster they both could get out of here and on to something bigger and better.Â
Seeing Jeonghanâs phone light up, Joshua lifts his brows, letting his curiosity get the better of him while Jeonghan switches out the tubs of ice cream. âWhoâs Y/N? Is this the college girl youâre trying to fuck?âÂ
You had texted him back. Dropping the ice cream without much care, Jeonghan smirks, swiping his phone out of Joshuaâs hand so he can read your text.Â
Y/N: Just in my room. Not really doing anything. Might take a walk in a bit. WBU?
Now this sounded more like what Jeonghan expected you to text like. Lifting his brows, he nods to Joshuaâs question, resting his hip against the counter as his thumbs move quickly along the keys on his phone. âYeah, sheâs cute as hell. Just my typeâŠâÂ
Jeonghan: Sounds cute. Want company? Iâm finishing up at work xxÂ
Joshua knew what that meantâjust Jeonghanâs type. Rolling his eyes, Joshua wrings out the mop one last time as Jeonghan finishes his text, that stupid smirk on his lips. âSo sheâs helpless and probably dumber than a box of rocks. Could you be any more deranged?âÂ
Shooting Joshua a dirty look, Jeonghan puts his phone back down on the counter with an annoyed sigh. âNo. I mean, not all of that. Sheâs not dumb. In fact, sheâs a pre-med student. So take that and shove it up your ass, Hong.â He couldnât fight Joshua on the point that you were helpless. You had looked like you were made of glass and just the right amount of pressure might cause you to crack. Jeonghan couldnât wait to see how much pressure that was.Â
Y/N: You want to go on a walk with me? Is that boring?
âOoo, pre-med. She could still be stupid. I mean, fuck⊠Sheâs talking to you.âÂ
âFuck you. Iâm a catch and you know it. Finish your mopping and go stick your dick in Mina. You are mean when youâre horny, Shua.âÂ
Not hiding his amusement as Jeonghan sulks at his phone, Joshua shakes his head. âAnd you are a sensitive pussy when you arenât getting any. Hope she puts out.â Dodging a pen being launched at his head by Jeonghan, Joshua laughs as he pushes his mop and bucket towards the back.Â
âAssholeâŠâ Joshua wasnât wrong. Jeonghan was on edge. He had put all of his eggs in one basket this week, that basket being you. He didnât have anything else lined up; there was only you and a hope that youâd be worth his time. Were you already playing hard to get or was this confused routine you were playing at over text real?Â
Jeonghan: Not boring. Iâll finish up here in like 20 mins and head towards the campus. See you soon bbz xxÂ
You were panicking. This had not been the plan. You always took a walk in the evening. That had been your reasoning behind telling Jeonghan about it, not so that he would take it as an invitation to join you. Why would he even want to do that?Â
Quickly sliding off your bed, you whine under your breath, standing in front of your floor-length mirror attached to the back of your dorm door. You were not in the condition to be hanging out with anyone, much less someone like Jeonghan. You didnât even know this guy and he already made you so nervous your hands wouldnât stop trembling.Â
It took the entire twenty minutes and then some for you to get dressed and to slap on a fresh coat of makeup that made you look decent without seeming like you were trying too hard. It was just a walk; literally nothing special about that at all and yet you now had clothes scattered across your bed from the amount of outfits you had deemed not good enough before settling on a pair of jean shorts and a light sweater.Â
By the time that you stand in front of the mirror again, fussing over the details, you hear your ringtone obnoxiously blaring as your phone vibrates loudly on your desk. Clearing your throat, you look down at Jeonghanâs name on the phone in your hand before flipping it open and putting it to your ear and smiling so that you sound more confident than you feel. âHello?âÂ
âHi, gorgeous. Where the hell am I going? There are too many dorms and I donât wanna look like a creeper driving around the campus in circlesâŠâÂ
Jeonghanâs voice causes your stomach to tighten and heat up. You felt like you should ask him to stop calling you pet names, but at the same time, did you really want that? You were enjoying it too much. âUmââ Laughing softly into the phone, you grab your keys and lock your door behind you. âSo Iâm at Elkstone HallâŠâÂ
Leaning to look at the signs, Jeonghan mutters the names mostly to himself before nodding. âElkstone, got it. Be there in like two secondsâŠâÂ
ââKay, um, hey⊠You can park in 287. Thatâthatâs my spot. I donât actually have a car, but they gave me a spot anyway.âÂ
Smirking to himself, Jeonghan glances towards the building in front of him before turning into the parking lot, searching the spots by the numbers on the ground. âGotcha. 270âOh, got it. Nice spot⊠Must have cost Mommy and Daddy out the ass to get.âÂ
You arenât sure why Jeonghanâs comment makes you slow your steps, but yet you still laugh, awkwardly tilting your head. âUm, yeah. Wasnât cheap, but it was required. You know, in case I get a car or something. Plus my parents use it when they visit⊠So not a complete waste of money.âÂ
This was a good judge of your character already. You were timid about something as simple as how much a parking spot costâinteresting. Jeonghan could hear a bit of shame in your voice when you talked about it. Your family probably had money, but you didnât brag about it and didnât show off. So sweet and pure. Smirking to himself, Jeonghan locks his car and glances towards the building, seeing you waiting on the sidewalk, your phone pressed up against your cheek. Sweet, pure, fucking adorable, and his.Â
âNah, makes sense, Gorgeous. Iâm here, by the way.â Lifting his hand to get your attention, Jeonghan takes his phone away from his ear and hits end when you finally do meet his eyes. âYou always look this fucking cute when you take a walk?â He was still a few feet away, but Jeonghan could almost see the embarrassment coming off you in waves as you tugged at the sleeves of your sweater. Â
âIâwhat? No, I donât look cute.â You couldnât look at Jeonghan, not directly at least. He was standing right in front of you now; you could feel his eyes on you, but it was akin to feeling the sun on your skin. âJust, you know, pulled on something.âÂ
Jeonghan doubted that very much. He could see the bit of makeup you must have put on, though he doubted that you needed it. You had put in some effort to come outside because he was going to be here. It was cute and you were so shy that his head was going to explode. Reaching up to push his index finger under your chin, Jeonghan bites his bottom lip as he meets your eyes. âYouâre perfect and you look cute. Come on, Iâm here for an evening stroll.âÂ
Looking down at Jeonghanâs hand, his palm facing up as he waits for you to take it, you feel your hands start to shake slightly. Guys never made you this nervous. Not that you took much time to date. There had been a guy or two here and there, but nothing that ever lasted for long. You were too busy and, worst of all, in their opinion, wouldnât give it up. You werenât a virgin, just not heavily experienced like the guys at university expected you to be. You werenât getting on your knees at the sight of a cute guy wanting to look at his probably very ugly dick. So why now was this guy you had met a single time making you feel weak?Â
âWhy?â Clearing your throat, you shake your head gently, sliding your hand into Jeonghanâs and feeling him lace his fingers with yours. âI mean, why would you wanna come all the way out here to take a walk with me?âÂ
Jeonghan liked the feeling of your hand in his. He liked how you let him hold your hand properly. This wasnât any of that middle school hand-holding; this was fingers laced, palms together hand-holding. This made girls know you were sincere about what you were sayingâor at least seem like you were. âWell, baby doll, because I wanna get to know you. Isnât it obvious that I like you?âÂ
Could he feel your heart beating hard? It felt like it was beating so hard and quick that it was radiating throughout your entire body. The smile that pulls at your lips has you feeling even more shy as you lower your head and turn slightly away from Jeonghan. This was insane. Jeonghanâs words had to feel like you were both drowning and flying at the same time. The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering around so quickly that you almost felt sick, but when he stopped walking and guided you back towards him, you whined. âNo, I meanâthis is crazy. You donât even know me.âÂ
Your cheek is hot under Jeonghanâs thumb as he gently lifts your face back up so he can look at you again. âItâs not crazy. Crazy is not realizing you were in this stupid town all this time.â Laughing when you whine again, Jeonghan gives you a bit of mercy, moving his hand from your face and letting you walk beside him again. âI told you, I wanna get to know you. The good, the bad, the ugly...â
Sighing under your breath, you gently tug at Jeonghanâs fingers as you turn to walk backwards for a moment, looking at him to make sure heâs serious. The look on his face seems so sincere that it breaks your resolve. Moving back to his side, you let yourself linger closer to him, not seeing the smirk on his face as you give him exactly what he wants. âOkay. Um, then you should know that the first text today wasnât from me.â Furrowing your brows, you timidly look up to meet Jeonghanâs eyes afraid that youâll see disappointment behind them, but instead you just see slight amusement. âMegan took my phone.â
âAh⊠That makes more sense. I thought you seemed different from one text to another. Lessââ Laughing into his words, Jeonghan sways a bit on his feet, playfully pulling you with him, enjoying how easy it is to make you laugh along with him. âPerky.â Â
Jeonghan was making this easy. You were enjoying this. It felt natural. Nothing was expected of you. Just a girl taking a walk with a cute guy who could make her laugh. It almost felt too good to be true. âMm, yeah. Sheâs like that, but she means well. Sheâs maybe overly excited about the possibility ofââ The idea of saying anything about you and Jeonghan makes your nerves take over you in that moment. The bit of confidence you had gained in those few moments fades away just like your words, your eyes on the ground.Â
âPossibility of?â Bumping his arm into yours, Jeonghan smiles at your sudden mood change. You were interesting. Not just a beautiful face and a body heâd love to ravish, but a mind heâd love to explore for at least a little while. Jeonghan could see himself getting addicted to you quickly. âPossibility of this? Me and you, baby? Why are you scared of it? Iâm not gonna bite you.âÂ
He had a point. Jeonghan hadnât done a single thing wrong. In fact, he had only done a hundred things right so far. You hadnât known him long and maybe all the pet names this quick was a little bit of a shock, but they kind of felt nice to hear. You didnât mind being Jeonghanâs baby, his baby doll, or being called gorgeous. âI donât know. Havenât had the best track record with guysââÂ
âFuck âem. They aren't me, Y/N.â Taking a step backward, Jeonghan guides you with him until he reaches the retaining wall. âIâm not some burnout, college dipshit, whoâs just wasting his daddyâs money...â Jeonghan doesnât hide his smirk when you gasp at the feeling of him picking you up and sitting you on the short retaining wall so he can stand between your thighs, getting eye level with you. He liked having you like this. He knew that if he touched your cheeks again, theyâd be hot like youâd been standing next to an oven. Standing like this, Jeonghan could slide his hands over your knees, testing the waters and keeping his fingers from going any higher. âYou know that, right, baby doll?âÂ
Nodding quickly, feeling chill bumps erupting along your skin under Jeonghanâs fingers, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. âUh huh. Iâm sorry. I didnât mean toââÂ
âShh, I know. Justâfuck.â Glancing down at your legs, Jeonghan carefully slides his hands along your thighs, squeezing gently at the meatiest part and hearing you gasp only to swallow the sound. You were fucking perfect. Everything about you. From the way you looked to the way you reacted to him. âMaking me have to remind myself to behave.â Putting on a smooth, sweet smile, Jeonghan meets your eyes once again, noticing how your lips are parted just slightly as if you were on the edge of a moan. God, what he wouldnât give to pull it out of you. Patience. He had to be patient. âYou know none of the guys on this stupid, fucking campus deserve you, right? You know that, gorgeous?âÂ
Jeonghanâs fingers glide over your skin, staying closer to your knees, but you can still feel him higher on your legs. You feel the shame bubbling inside you because you want him to touch you like that again. Swallowing hard, you nod, agreeing with Jeonghan quickly even if you donât actually agree with him. Why were you doing that? Did it even matter?Â
âThatâs right. You know it. My smart girl.â Brushing this thumb over your cheek, Jeonghan coos softly as your lips part once again, your eyes falling to his lips before, quick as lightning, looking away. You wanted to kiss him. The feeling was mutual. âItâs getting late and I wouldnât dare risk you being out here after dark without me. Not with these shorts on, angel.âÂ
Starting to speak to tell Jeonghan youâve worn these shorts hundreds of times and nothing has ever happened to you, you stop when his thumb brushes over your bottom lip. The action not only stuns you but also does wonders to keep you agreeable. âUh huh⊠okay, Jeonghan.âÂ
Like clay in his hands already. You were speaking so sweetly, almost lazily, against his thumb. Jeonghan bet he could get you to do almost anything he wanted right now, but that would ruin the fun of this and the point of it. You were pumping through his veins now. He had thought he could get addicted⊠He just didnât know how fast.Â
With you walking back at his side, your fingers laced with his, Jeonghan smiles, feeling your head lean towards his shoulder. It was almost night and day compared to the walk to the end of the road to coming back to the large, ugly building you were calling home. Jeonghan hated it already. It looked too much like a prison and like somewhere he couldnât get into on a whim. âWhat do you have left to do tonight, baby?âÂ
God, you loved that. Baby. You shouldnât. You werenât anything to Jeonghan. Not yet. You couldnât beâthat was impossibleâand yet you felt like getting down on your knees and begging him to give it a label alreadyâbut you had more pride than that still. âUm, I was working onââ Smiling at the idea of what you had been doing, you shake your head and lean your head back, feeling embarrassed. âGod, itâs stupid. I was getting a head start on my reading for my classes next week.âÂ
A little overachiever. Thatâs adorable. Smirking to himself as the thoughts cross his mind, Jeonghan nods along with you, letting your fingers slide to the end of his as you start to walk backwards toward the building. âCanât even let yourself enjoy a break properly, huh? Good thing you got me to take you to a party and keep you distracted for a night, right? What am I going to do with you, sweetheart?âÂ
Swallowing hard when Jeonghan takes a step towards you so that he can slide his arm around your waist, you press your lips together and shake your head. âIâI donât know.âÂ
âYou donât know?â Carefully moving his fingers along your back, Jeonghan bunches your sweater into his hand, letting out a soft sigh into his words. âGotta get you to relax somehow.âÂ
Your eyes migrate down to Jeonghanâs lips one more time, but this time they linger before you watch them pull up into a smile. âIâI can relax. âM relaxedâŠâÂ
You were practically begging for it. You were looking at Jeonghanâs lips like they were made of candy. Licking his lips, Jeonghan nods along with your stumbled words as he rocks you in his arms once, just back and forth, testing how stiff you are. âDonât seem very relaxed. Seem focused on something. You wanna ask for something, baby doll?âÂ
Why was he making you ask for it? Didnât guys just usually do what they wanted anyway? No guy that you had never gone on a date with had asked you or made you ask for a kiss. Youâd get back to the door or, god forbid, their apartment, and theyâd just kiss you or try to make a move. Jeonghan was clearly so different. Whining under your breath, you furrow your brows, starting to turn your head away, only for Jeonghan to gently hold your head in place with his thumb and forefinger on your chin.Â
âAsk me or I wonât kiss you. Say please, baby.âÂ
It felt degrading and yet your knees were weak, making you rely on Jeonghan to keep you upright. âIâplease, Jeonghan.â Seeing him nod once as if to tell you to keep going, you blink a few times and lick your lips, trying to gain the confidence to speak up. âPlease kiss me?âÂ
Perfect. Pliable. His.Â
Cooing at your request, Jeonghan pouts slightly, running his fingers behind your ear before sighing. âYou are beautiful and you asked so sweetly. I donât know if I shouldâŠâÂ
Just when you think Jeonghan isnât going to give you what you had asked for, that heâs going to make you ask him again, beg for it, he smiles and presses his lips against yours, taking your breath away. You feel boneless for a moment, no air in your lungs; itâs like your heart paused for just a couple of seconds to let you live in that moment until Jeonghanâs lips are off yours. The second that happens, your chest practically aches. Your brows furrow tightly, your fingers digging into the sides of Jeonghanâs shirt to keep him close to you as he laughs softly under his breath, giving into you and brushing his lips against yours for just a second more.Â
âTime for you to go inside and get ready for bed, baby. I wanna see you get through that door before I leave. Make sure nothing touches my girl.âÂ
His girl. Sighing almost as if you were swooning over Jeonghan, because if you were honest with yourself, you were swooning, you nod to his words. âMmkay. Youâll text me?âÂ
You were his. What a silly question for you to ask, and yet that question made Jeonghan pleased. You were just as hooked as he was. âOf course I will. Nowââ Sliding his hand from yours, Jeonghan kisses your cheek, letting his hand that had been on your back slide over your ass before he takes a step back from you. âGet your cute little ass inside. Be a good girl.âÂ
Maybe Jeonghan hadnât meant to let his hand go that low, but your face was on fire again. Biting at your thumbnail, you just nod and walk backwards for a couple of steps before finally turning to walk normally. Every couple of steps, you look over your shoulder to see if Jeonghan is doing what he said to find him with his hands resting in his jacket pockets as he watches you make your way to the door.Â
Jeonghan waits until the door shuts before he grins and turns back towards the parking lot. Taking the keys from his pocket, he shakes his head and lifts his brows, feeling the rush of adrenaline pulsing through him. This had gone better than he could have imagined it going. Sliding behind the wheel of his Corvette, Jeonghan takes out his cellphone and smirks. He could wait and send you a message later but why when you were already wrapped around his finger?Â
Jeonghan: You are already running circles in my mind, baby girl. I canât wait to see you on Friday. xx <3Â
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Harder (patreon exclusive drabble teaser)
Hi this is a surprise drabble! While I am finishing up my May fic I saw this picture here on Tumblr and couldn't get the concept out of my mind.
pairing;Â kim mingyu x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), heavy angst, fluff, toxic, ranch au, brothers best friend au
content warnings;Â rancher!gyu, wife!reader, uncle!cheol (tw for june), kids, injury, hurt/comfort (in a way)
smut warnings;Â oral (f recieving), fingering, unprotected sex, language barrier (but we are all lucky cause shua is here!)
w/c;Â 886 words (teaser 128 words)
a/n; thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading! thank you to @moomumu for posting the picture here on Tumblr.
this fic is a Patreon exclusive bonus drabble â to read this drabble subscribe to my Patreon and click here
Your skin was on fire and yet goosebumps were spreading along your body. This hadnât been the plan. You werenât the type of girl to go to a club and ditch her friends for a guy, but then you had met Dokyeom. He was sweet, gorgeous, and incredibly attentiveânow you were lying in the middle of his hotel bed.Â
Biting your bottom lip, you take a deep breath through your nose as Dokyeomâs nose nudges against your thighs, signaling for you to spread your legs further. You feel your cheeks burn when he mutters something against your wet folds. You can feel the smile on his lips as he looks up the length of your body at you before cursing under his breath.Â
âHe said you are beautiful.â
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Tied to your Body
pairing; kim mingyu x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), fluff (somehow)
warnings; TA!Mingyu, University Student!Reader, Camboy!Mingyu, Professor Joshua Hong (that's a warning), eating/drinking, alcohol, masturbation (m & f), lots of dirty talk, masturbation on stream, pictures taken and sent of dick/pussy, talk of sexual health, aftercare, Dom!Mingyu, sub!reader, Dom/sub dynamics, color system, subspace, dumbification, praise, pet names, degradation, crying, spitting on pussy, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cum eating, some light impact play -- I think that is everything.
w/c; 13.3k and some change
a/n; I love camboy love sick Mingyu. thank you to @junkissed for betareading this for me! a huge thank you to @onlyseokmins for making the instagram graphics for me! i am still writing may's fic and need a bit more time. enjoy this older patreon exclusive.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
Running the back of your pen along your bottom lip, you sigh, finally leaning back from your desk. You had been looking at the same page of your physics textbook for an hour. It felt like your brain was beginning to feel like jello. A familiar ding from your cellphone made you bite down on the end of your pen as you reached for the phone, the corners of your lips pulling up into a slight smirk.
ariespic_46 is live
You tried not to waste your money. It was hard enough to be a college student and to share an apartment instead of living in a dorm but sometimes spoiling yourself was important. It was hard enough trying to balance a part-time job and a full-time course work schedule; you rarely found time to go to parties and the relationship pool was limited.
You had dated during your time at the university but it had been brief and no one had ever kept your attention for longer than a month. Over time, classes became more important and you found other ways to find pleasure, even if it cost you a few extra bucks a month to indulge in.
Opening your laptop, you find yourself entranced by the man on your screen as he smiles, leaning back in his chair. He never showed anything above his nose. You wished you could see his entire face. With as handsome as he was from the nose down, you were drooling over this camboy almost daily.
As ariespic_46 lets out a breath, you find yourself doing the same as you lay on your side on your bed in the dark. He was dressed in some tan dress pants, a white button up that was already unbuttoned down to the top of his abs, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looked like a dream. You couldnât help but look over every detail that you were privy to. He had the cutest freckle on the end of his nose and sharp canines that he bit down into his bottom lip with when he was especially horny, like now.
âHi pups. I missed you.â
A small squeak slips from your lips when the man finally talks. He was such a tease. He would sometimes just sit there for minutes while the chat went crazy, asking for things, just his biceps flexing as he stretched out his fingers in clear amusement at how needy the chat was.
âAw, you missed me too, didnât you? Thatâs cute.â
The man leans his head back and you try to move your head so you can see more of him but as usual, it's in vain. He had his camera set up for this. He didnât want his face fully on the screen and while you could respect it, you were still curious.
âIt was a long day. You have no idea. Iâm all wound up... Having to be this professional in front of others while I think about doing this later. GodâŠâ The man grins, his canines on display, as he lifts his hips, undoing his dress pants. âAnd then the teasing I put up with on a daily fucking basis. I donât think she even realizes sheâs doing it.â
You furrow your brows. He talked about some girl on his streams sometimes. You didnât mind; no one seemed to. It got him even more excited to think about this girl who teased him during the day. You wondered what it would be like to be herâto be the one on his mind all day and night. The one that made him want to wrap his hand around his thick cock and stroke it until he came so hard. You imagine you are her sometimes; he makes it easy for you to, with how he talks to the stream.
âWanna put you on your knees in front of me for teasing me like that?"
Watching ariespic_46 closely, your eyes follow as he kicks his pants somewhere off the screen. The man smirked, leaning back in his chair, knowing eyes were on him. He could see the viewer count and it never disappointed him. Your eyes were moving over the bit of his chest that was exposed as his fingers undid the rest of his shirt, leaving him in his dress shirt and briefs as a long, sighing groan slipped from his lips.
âCanât help but think how pretty youâd look if you were. So fucking pretty every day and acting so innocent like you donât realize Iâm looking at you.â
You sigh, your bottom lip jutting out, as the man talks to the girl through you and the other viewers. You feel a bit of shame as you run your fingers along your stomach and play with the tie of your pajama pants but itâs not enough to stop you.
Glancing at the comments, you canât help but agree with a few of them, saying theyâd never ignore him. You couldnât imagine ignoring someone like ariespic_46, not on purpose. There was no one who went to your university who came close to looking like him.
When the man wraps his fingers around his cock for the first time, you have to close your eyes to the sound that slips out between his pretty lips. You loved the sounds he made. He never tried to keep them quiet or to himself. He just let them be as erotic as possible and it made you drip around your fingers that were now slowly sliding through your folds.
âAre you being a good girl for me? My pretty little pup? Are you gonna cum for me when I cum tonight?â
Whimpering, you nod even though he canât see you. You werenât one who took the time to comment while he touched himself and spoke. You knew he wouldnât recognize names from chat anyway. He did, however, acknowledge tips and that you did when you let yourself think with your pussy more than your brain.
âMm, thank you, Nabi.â
Hearing part of your username on ariespic_46âs lips as he moans, pre-cum slipping over his fingers, makes you press your lips together. You hadnât sent him muchâjust $30âbut for a student, that was more than you should be spending on porn.
Pressing your nose against your arm, you adjust yourself on the bed, watching the man groan louder as he got closer to his climax. You had started to be able to tell when it was going to happen. The way his mouth fell open, the way his groans got more urgent and drawn out, his fingers of his right hand gripping the arm of his chair for dear life as he stroked himself through his climax with his left.
Most nights when you watched his streams, you would end up doing exactly what ariespic_46 wanted and cum soon after he had but other nights, like tonight, you would end up panting as your thighs pressed together out of need. You knew there was always more, even as the man on the screen laughed, stretching his fingers out to show the camera all the cum dripping from him.
"Fuck, that was good. I have to get cleaned up. Bye, baby. See you next time.â
The stream stated it had ended, and you find yourself on your back with your phone in one hand, waiting for what came next. Not only did you tip because it made you feel good to hear even your username on the manâs lips but also for what he would give you. A notification stating you had a direct message from ariespic_46 popâs up at the top of your screen and you find yourself giggling like a teenager getting a message from a crush.
ariespic_46: have a good night, nabi đŠ thank youđ€ [picture attached]
Staring at the message for a moment, you bite at your bottom lip before your thumbs move over the keyboard to reply. You knew you didnât have to, and that he probably didnât check replies but it felt important to you.
nabi.wings: anytime, thank you for the stream âŁïž
Taking a breath, you finally press down on the link for the picture, only to moan at the sight. It was one thing to see his cock and fingers covered in cum on the stream but it was another entirely to see it in a picture like this. Now was when you couldnât help but let your fingers wander lower. Now you could let yourself let go of any shame you were feeling before and just let yourself pretend for a little while that he had cum this much for just you.
âItâs not fair... Â How are we supposed to pay attention when they are teaching the class?â
You listen to the sound of Suminâs voice as she pouts into the sentence, leaning over the desk. While your attention was down on your almost finished homework, hers was on that of Professor Hong and Mingyu standing at the front of the room.
âY/NâŠAre you even listening to me?â
Whining Sumin shakes your arm, making you look up at her as you finish the last of your physics work to meet her desperate eyes.
âI was, yeah. I didnât finish last night. I hadâŠwas I distracted?"
"Well, itâs not like they are collecting it right now. You always get good grades in this class anyway.â
Shrugging, you push your work under your book and sigh, glancing to where Sumin had been looking just a moment earlier, only to see Mingyu looking in your direction. He was breathtaking. Sumin was right between your professor and the teacherâs aid. Physics had quickly become one of your favorite classes to attend.
âYou know, unlike Professor Hong... Â Mingyu isnât married.â
You had lost your train of thought when Mingyu smiled at you, looking away a moment later and going back to his conversation with your professor. It wasnât until Sumin said something ridiculous that you furrowed your brows and looked at her like she had two heads.
âAnd? Heâs out of my league.â
Sumin laughs and leans against you, looking back up towards the front of the class as Mingyu laughs at something Professor Hong says.
âIâm just saying he looks at you a lot, thatâs all. Iâm observant and a really good friend. Heâs not that much older than us and him being out of your league is bullshit."
Rolling your eyes, you push Sumin with your arm, making her laugh again as she is forced to sit back on her side of the desk when Professor Hong moves to start the class. Now you were forcing yourself to keep your eyes down, which only made you want to steal more glances towards the attractive teacherâs aid, who took up his usual spot on a tall stool in the front corner of the room.
Sure, Mingyu looked at you. He looked at the entire class but even as you peeked in his direction, now his eyes were on you, causing your cheeks to burn and your eyes to once again drop to the page that the professor was talking about. Sumin was just getting in your head.
âMingyu will come through and collect your work and pass out this week's quiz. As always, my office is open for questions and discussion until 6 p.m., except on Fridays. Before we get started today, any questions?â
Tapping your pencil on the desk, you shake your head along with the mummers from your fellow classmates as you watch Mingyu move out of the corner of your eye. With one arm he holds a folder full of quizzes, and with the other he collects course work, stopping to laugh and smile at various people when they offer up excuses for not having it at all or having half filled sheets.
âProfessor Hongâs office is open tonight until 6 p.m., Soonyoung. You can talk to him about it. Thereâs nothing I can do about it now. If you want tutoring, I can help you set that up.â
The younger man groans, throwing his head back dramatically as Mingyu grins at him, sliding a quiz towards him before moving towards your desk. Stopping in front of Sumin, Mingyu smiles at her, kindly taking her sheet and letting her take the quiz with a flirty thank you.
âMmhm, good luck. Hi, Y/N. Your work?â
You had been trying to avoid his eyes but when your name slips off of Mingyuâs lips, you canât help but glance up at him as you push your lips together with a nod. Feeling a kick to your leg from Sumin, you grunt, falling forward, causing Mingyuâs brows to furrow out of concern until you laugh softly and lift your finished work towards his hand.
âThere ya go.â
âPerfect, good luck on your quiz.â
You wait for Mingyu to put the paper down on your desk but instead he waits for you to take it from his fingers, making you look him in the eye.
âThank youâŠâ
Grinning, Mingyu lifts his brow, letting his teeth catch his bottom lip briefly as he lets out a soft breath.
âAnytime.â
Your eyes follow Mingyu for a moment until Suminâs fingers grip your arm and she leans to squeak into your ear, making you come back to reality.
âIf that wasnât flirting, then I am failing at the game of life.â
Once again tugging your arm from your friend, you try to take a breath, shaking your head as you look down at the quiz in front of you, trying to remember how to read much less how to do anything pertaining to physics in the allotted amount of time remaining for your class period.
âI bombed it. Completely. This is the worst Iâve ever done on a quiz.â
Sumin watches you lean into your hands, the quiz on your lap, as you look at the 45 circled at the top in red ink. Even so, she had to admit that something had gone wrong today. Normally, you have no problems with quizzes, even if the class kicked her ass.
"Okay, yeah, it sucks. You didnât do well but hey, itâs not the end of the world. Maybe go talk to Professor Hong and see if he will let you retake it. Itâs literally the first time youâve fucked up a quiz.â
Groaning into your hand, your legs bouncing, you reach over to look at your phone to see the time. It was already 5:15 and you remembered how many times they had mentioned Professor Hongâs office in class. It was worth the try.
âYeahâŠyeah okay.â
Pushing your quiz into your bag, you get to your feet quickly, pulling on the end of your shirt to make sure you donât look too disheveled. With a huff, you leave Sumin standing in the commons area as you walk quickly towards where you knew your professorâs office to be. Â Glancing at the closed door, your brows furrowed, and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as you reached up to knock on the door, clearing your throat before trying to sound confident.
âProâProfessor Hong? Itâs Y/N. Are you still in?â
Watching the frosted window for a moment longer, you start to take a step back when the door opens inward. You start to smile when you see a face you werenât expecting. Mingyu smiles at you before it turns apologetic.
âY/N? Uh, Professor Hong got a call from home about ten minutes ago and had to leave. I was about to put a sign on his door. Is everything okay?â
Of course. Of course, that would happen on the day when your life felt like it was ending. Your professor would have some sort of family emergency or something and leave his office early. Defeat evident on your face, you just sigh before it turns into an unamused laugh, causing Mingyu to furrow his brows in surprise.
âIâno. I meanâŠyeah. Sure. Itâs fine.â
Mingyu wasnât a rocket scientist but he was pretty sure that everything wasn't, in fact, fine. Taking a step forward to look down the hall in either direction, he sighs before reaching out to take your arm and pulling you towards him into the office.
"Clearly, it isnât. You were coming to talk to Professor Hong for a reason. Whatâs wrong? You look like youâve been crying.â
With his hand falling from your bicep, you listen to the click of the door behind you before you find the courage to look up at Mingyu as his eyes search your face. He looked legitimately concerned and that confused you. You knew he took his position seriously but this wasnât his job. Sighing, you reach into your bag and take out your quiz, offering it to a confused Mingyu, who takes the paper into his hands, looking it over as his features soften.
You hadnât had the chance to look at him closely before. Sure, he had stopped in front of your desk many times and you had to approach him to do things but never like this. He was handsome, even more so than you had realized. His hair had been cut in the past month or so and you remembered almost wanting to mourn the moment he had walked into class with the shorter hair until he smiled and you realized he could pull off any hair style.
âY/NâŠokâŠI get it, but itâs just a quiz. Professor Hong will let you retake it if you really want to. He lets Soonyoung redo his all the time and he isnât half as dedicated to the class as you are.â
Trying to force yourself to look anywhere but into Mingyuâs eyes you move them lower over his face to his nose as you speak. Your voice wavering as you try to keep yourself from crying. It wasnât that you didnât believe him and that you didnât understand how insignificant a single quiz was but to you it was important.
âIâyeah I know. Thatâs what I wanted to talk to him about. I donât want to fucâmess up my GPA. One quiz could do that, you know what I mean?â
Mingyu watches your brows furrow as you seem to avoid his eyes in place of focusing on his face. He was beginning to wonder if he had something on it. Had something had eaten earlier gotten stuck in his teeth or was something on his nose? Reaching up he taps the end of his nose to check, only drawing your attention to it more directly as he sighs into his words.
âWell, listenâŠI can just send you home with another quiz. Iâll send Professor Hong a mess ââ
Your gasp causes Mingyuâs words to fall silent on his lips as you stare at him in a mixture of horror and surprise. Something about him had felt familiar and up until that moment you hadnât been sure what it was. The structure of his face was so similar to someone you knew or recognized but then that freckle on the end of his nose, youâd know it anywhere. ariespic_46 had that freckle. It was unique and along with everything else about Mingyu that screamed that he was the same person your heart was in your throat and you felt sick.
âAre you alright? Holy shit you scared me⊠Did I say something wrong? Why are you looking at me like ââ
Your eyes were searching over his face but the moment your eyes met Mingyuâs again your bag fell to the floor leading you down with it. Your hushed apologies caused Mingyu to scoff under his breath. You had never been this nervous around him before, it was almost like you had seen him for the first time.
The thought dawned on Mingyu as he leaned down to help you with your bag picking up your phone seeing the back of it adorned with butterflies. Running his thumb over the pattern he couldnât help but tilt his head to the side in thought listening to your mutters about how clumsy you were. You had never been clumsy in class before. Maybe you had really seen him for the first time.
âThis is cute. Butterflies?â Waiting for you to look at him and your fingers to be on the phone, Mingyu takes his chance to see your reaction as his brow lifts in question, âëëčë€?â
Tugging your phone free from his grip you swallow hard hearing the word on Mingyuâs lips. You were even more certain now and you were beginning to wonder if you werenât the only one.
âYes, I meanâŠ.I like them. Theyâre pretty.â
Smirking a bit, Mingyu lifts his hand to brush over his lips pushing the smirk away as he turns to pick up a blank quiz before offering it to you. Making an appreciative sound, the man nods letting you take the paper from his hand as he sighs, his attitude having shifted almost suddenly into something a bit more dangerous, making you feel like the room was closing in on you. Mingyu watches you back towards the door, your tongue swiping your lips as he leans against the desk, his fingers running over the back of his hand, similar to how you had seen him act on stream when he was thinking about what to do next.
âLeaving?â
Nodding, you reach behind you for the door handle. Finding it takes you two tries without looking to find it. Mingyuâs soft chuckle sends a shiver down your spine but you do your best not to react to it outright; instead, you just smile at him and bow your head before sneaking out and closing the door harder than necessary.
âOh my godâŠâ
You were whining under your breath as you sped down the hall back towards the commons, where Sumin had waited for you. A smile on her lips until she sees the terrified look on your face, causing her eyes to widen and her hands to find your shaking frame.
âWhatâs wrong? Did he say no? Are you failing?â
There was no way you could explain this to her so instead, you just shake your head and show her the blank quiz, letting her breathe a breath of relief. With Suminâs arm wrapped around your shoulders, the girl leads you out of the door towards the chilly outdoors when you feel your cellphone vibrate with a notification.
ariespic_46 says: Special live tonight! You wonât want to miss it. đŠ
It wasnât a DM but instead a notification to all of his subscribers. Was he calling you out now? Your mouth felt dry but your thighs pressed together as you tried to walk beside Sumin, listening to her talk about her next date.
Mingyu would have never considered that you would have been Nabi but the fact that you were was making him feel a bit feral. Half the reason he even did the streams was because he felt so pent up. The money was nice but being in the job that he held, it was hard to let loose and date, especially when you had your eye on someone in the class you were the TA for.
You were the inspiration for many of his streams, if not all of them lately. He had subtly mentioned how you seemed to be teasing him from afar but seeing that look in your eye today, it was clear to Mingyu that you had no idea. You were the type of girl who didnât seem to realize when eyes were on her until it was right in her face and if thatâs what it took, well, now he had the opportunity.
Sighing, Mingyu leans back in his chair, smirking to himself as the red light signals that he is live. He knew he was ignoring the stream and the chat but he wasnât really there for them tonightâjust one person. He was waiting for a single name to pop up in the âwatching now.â Grinning as he sees the user name nabi.wings finally flash up at the bottom of the list, Mingyu bites at his bottom lip and lets out a slow, breathy groan. Now he knew you were watching.
âGood evening, pup.â
You take a breath. Mingyu hadnât used pups like normal, just a singular pup. Sitting with your legs crisscrossed on your bed, your laptop opened in front of you, and you licked your lips, shifting nervously. He knew you were there. You watch his smile broaden and your stomach flips with how much it affects you now that you know what his entire face looks like. This was completely different. You should turn off the stream, cancel your subscription, and apologize to him as soon as possible⊠but instead you just let out a soft whimper as Mingyu unbuttonâs his shirt.
âWhy did you run out on me today? Because you realized?â
The chat was confused but some started to chime in that it must be a roleplay situation and started to play along. Mingyuâs eyes scan the chat for you but he doesnât expect you to answer. Instead, he just chuckles at some of the responses that make no sense and glances towards his phone at the DMs he has shared with you in the past.
âYou have been such a dirty little slut. More of a tease than I had even known. You were making me watch you from the front of the room while you played innocent and yet you were watching me the entire time.â
Your hand moves over your face when you feel warmth radiate down your neck. You felt embarrassed. You had no idea you had teased him even once. It had never been your intention. In your mind, you were so far beneath him that you werenât even in his line of sight and yet here he was telling you something different.
âIs this what you did last night too, pup? You watched me play with my cock, then showed up and batted your pretty little lashes at me? You made me want to pin you down on that table in front of everyone just because you look so fucking cute."
Mingyu practically growls as he shimmys out of the white button up you had seen him wearing earlier in the day. You watch him lift his hips, his fingers almost angrily undoing his jeans so he can push them down, leaving him in just his briefs.
âYou know what made it worse? You showed up later. You were desperate. Of course, not for me, but for something, and I wanted to make it better. I hope I did⊠I just wanted to see you smile but instead I got something even better, didnât I, baby?â
Hearing baby on Mingyuâs lips as he palms his cock, twitching and hard under his black briefs, makes you whimper his name under your breath. Sliding your legs apart, you feel your hands tremble as you fight a mental battle with yourself that you quickly lose. The morality of masturbating to your TA talking to you through his camboy stream falls to the wayside as you let your fingers rest between your legs under your pajama pants over your panties.
âMmm, I did. I got to see you all flustered and panicked because you figured it out and so did I. My smart little pup. FuckâŠThis feels good but it'd be so much better if it were your mouth. I think about that all the fucking time when I see your lips.â
Starting to look away from the screen as you feel how wet youâve become through your panties, you stop when Mingyu groans long and slow. You watch as he pushes his briefs down, freeing his obviously painfully hard cock and letting it rest back against his abs.
âIf I called you right now, would you let me come over and fuck your little pussy, pup?â
You knew the question was prompted at you once again but the chat was going crazy with yeses and the offer of their numbers, which only caused Mingyu to chuckle. Shaking his head, Mingyu groans, wrapping his thumb and forefinger under his head, gripping himself loosely, feeling the way he was already throbbing with want.
âI want you to know something, baby. Every time I have fucked my hand recently, itâs been while Iâve been thinking about you.â
Shivering at the thought, you bite down at your lip as you finally slide your panties to the side, letting the pads of your fingertips glide between your wet folds. Your eyes follow Mingyuâs hand as he strokes his cock from base to tip a few times, quiet lewd groans slipping from between his perfect lips.
âEach time Iâve come, Iâve pictured it being on different parts of your body. One night I thought about watching it pool in your mouth on your tongue and I came again. I didn't have a single thing left; it was all dry but fuck, it still felt good because I was thinking about you.â
The image of Mingyu cumming twice at the thought of you was enough to cause you to shiver. You had watched him cum multiple times at this point, even unknowingly but putting a face to the image in front of you made your breath quicken. With two fingers knuckle deep inside of yourself, you whimper his name almost as if you beg him for more, only to watch Mingyu lift his hips and groan seemingly in response.
âWhat I wouldnât give to feel your pussy around me right now. All I hope is that you are touching yourself for me. FuckâŠâ You watch Mingyu laugh and lean his head back, a smirk spreading over his lips as he does. âKnowing youâve been watching and thatâs a possibility. Baby? Did you fuck yourself last night to me and then show up today?â
You were embarrassed but not enough to stop what you were doing; instead, it only made you want it more. You just nod in response, pushing your hips down over your fingers, wishing they were longer and thicker like how Mingyuâs looked wrapped around his cock. You could feel your mouth watering, imagining sitting over his lap as he said all the dirty things he was saying now to your face.
âIâm getting close, pup. Look at what you do to me. Oh fuckâŠâ
Eyes trained on Mingyu, you rock your hips against your hand, feeling yourself getting just as close when thick white ropes shoot out to cover his abs and hand. That was a more intense orgasm than you had seen in a long time. There was so much cum that the chat was feral, the amount of tips quickly rising as Mingyu licks his lips, lazily running his hand along his shaft, letting himself soften in his own grip.
Meanwhile, you close your eyes, feeling your own climax overtake you, Mingyuâs name once again slipping from between your lips like a prayer. Your thighs shaking, you fall back against your pillows, carefully sliding your fingers from your sweatpants, before glancing back to the laptop screen to watch Mingyu smile as he comes down from his high.
âI gotta go. Clearly, I have to get cleaned up; Iâm a fucking mess. Iâll talk to you soon.â
And with that, the screen went black, leaving you in a quiet room with your racing thoughts. Eyes on your ceiling, your body jerks when your cellphone chimes with the sound of a notification. You werenât sure what you had expected it to be but seeing a DM from Mingyu on the SVThub app still made you feel anxious.
ariespic_46: did you have fun? [picture attached]
ariespic_46: [picture attached]
The first picture causes you to swallow hard as you look at his still softening cock resting in his palm, cum splattered over what you could see of his abs and his hand. The second picture takes your breath away, making you falter in responding for longer than you intended.
Now if you had any questions or second thoughts about him being ariespic_46, those were thrown out the window as you stared at the half naked selfie you had been graced with.
ariespic_46: are you okay?
nabi.wings: iâm okay. this is just insaneâŠ
ariespic_46: ik but if I text you, are you going to freak out?
What kind of question was that? He had your number, yes but he had only sent you texts related to your course. Swallowing hard, you whine and kick your legs at your mattress as if it had offended you as your thumbs move across the screen of your phone.
nabi.wings: noâŠ
ariespic_46: sounds reassuring, but Iâll take it.
A new notification popping up at the top of your screen makes your stomach flip as you see his name and not some username he was hiding behind, just Kim Mingyu.
Kim Mingyu: hey, baby. wait, thatâs probably too forward, but maybe not.
You had clearly entered another dimension if Kim Mingyu was texting you things like âhey babyâ on a Thursday night. Licking your lips and feeling like they were suddenly too dry, you slide up in bed, trying to keep your wits about you as you clear your throat.
Y/N: honestly, this is so fucking weird at this point. idk what is forward anymore. i feel like i should be apologizing but you did just send me a pic of your dick not 10 mins ago.
Running his palm along the back of his neck, Mingyu grimaces a bit to your message even if he canât help but laugh at the entire scenario. Surely there was some hilarity to it all, even for you.
Kim Mingyu: you didnât like it? seemed to like all the ones i had sent before.
Y/N: that was before i knew they were you!
Kim Mingyu: knowing itâs me makes you not like them?
That wasn't what you meant at all. Closing your eyes for a moment, you lean your head back against your headboard, taking in a deep breath and trying to compose yourself.
Y/N: you are who you areâŠand Iâm who I am. isnât that weird or inappropriate? why the fuck do you have a camboy show to begin with?
Chuckling to himself as he pulls his pajama pants up to his hips, Mingyu reads over your response, trying to imagine what you are doing at that exact moment. He imagines how flustered you might be and how cute you were, flustered, in Joshuaâs office earlier that day.
Kim Mingyu: i have the show because it feeds a few of my kinks and helps me unwind. is there a rule that says i canât have one? i donât go on there and say my name or current occupation. iâm not a professor, y/n. iâm not your professor.
He had a point. He was just the teacher's aid. He was just out of university himself. That was the entire point. He was interning, learning the ropes from Professor Hong so that one day he could be the professor. Maybe you were looking too deep into this.
Y/N: no, ofc not. you have needs. you should do what you want. 𫣠what sort of kinks is the show feeding you?
Grinning at your text, Mingyu grunts quietly as he lays back on his bed, resting back on his pillows, feeling more relaxed than he had in days.
Kim Mingyu: dirty girl. i didnât expect you to ask but i like it. i like being watched and praised while i can degrade. the chat, most of them like when i call them dirty dumb sluts. what about you? what is my show feeding you, baby?
Turning on your side, you groan into your pillows at Mingyuâs question. Of course, he was going to turn it back on you. What had you expected?
Y/N: idk, i like watching. it is a good way to end the night after a long day in classes to just watch someone incredibly attractive get off and tell me what to do.
Letting out a breath at your response, Mingyu shifts on his bed, feeling his cock trying to twitch back to life. He had to keep himself in check for now. Licking his lips, Mingyu rolls his neck and takes a moment to plan out his response before finally giving in.
Kim Mingyu: you want me to tell you what to do when you are stressed out, baby girl? (if this is too weird, tell me to shut up but you miss 100% of shots you donât take or whatever that bullshit is, right?)
Your face was instantly on fire at Mingyuâs response until you read the end, which caused you to laugh. God he was an idiot. How was this the same man writing the beginning of the message and the end?
Y/N: what if I do? you going to keep doing it over a screen? (I like it, you weirdo)
His canines catch his bottom lip, and Mingyu lets out another breath. There was no way in hell he wasnât going to latch on to your seeming burst of confidence.
Kim Mingyu: not if you let me take you out and bring you home tomorrow? I can only assume you live in shared housing. am I right?
He was asking you out or was this just a booty call? Did it really matter? You could feel your thighs burning at the idea of being with him. Swallowing hard, you glance towards your door as you hear your roommates laughing loudly from the shared living room, almost as if on cue for his question.
Y/N: I share an apartment. would probably look odd to bring the TA back to my apartment and my bedroom. my last class is at 3 tomorrowâŠ
Kim Mingyu: then loan me your afternoon and night and Iâll make it worth your time, baby. I wonât lie... Iâve wanted this for a long time.
You had to be insane to be thinking about saying yes but as you type out your response, you find yourself smiling, your feet kicking into your comforter like a teenager accepting her first date.
Y/N: thatâs a big claim but sounds like a date.
A date. Mingyu reads your text a few times before smirking, wondering if you had meant to say it like that. Either way, he was enjoying it. You, on the other hand, were wondering if you should pretend you had meant something else or try to unsend the text but seeing his read status, you knew it was too late.
Kim Mingyu: itâs a date. Iâll see you after class. goodnight đŠ
Pursing your lips around your straw, you take a drink of your coffee, furrowing your brows as you lean back in the chair in the commonâs area. Your last class let out a bit early so you werenât expecting Mingyu to pick you up for at least another twenty minutes and Sumin had left you ten minutes ago, muttering something about a guy named Lee Chan.
You were doing some investigations into Kim Mingyu. Before all of this, you had looked at his personal instagram a few times. He was eye candy after all but you had never followed him. You didnât know him well enough for that. As for ariespic_46, you had never followed his Instagram purely on the principle that you didnât want anyone to look at your followers and see a camboyâs Instagram.
Looking at the two Instagrams now, you realize how naive you have been. It wasnât exactly as if Mingyu was hiding it all that well for anyone who really wanted to go digging. His personal Instagram username was gyu.46 and his camboy Instagram was the same as the one he used on SVThub.
There were many times he took photos in the same place and just blurred his face or added a hat before posting them to one account or another. The thing that hit you the hardest was the fact that he used the photo he had sent you the night before as his current Instagram profile picture and you knew the truth behind it. Perhaps to his friends and followers, he would look like he was just taking a shirtless selfie but you knew better.
Groaning to yourself, you hit the button on the side of your phone to turn off the display, putting away the photos that were starting to drive you insane. In place of them, you find yourself staring at the floor in front of you as you finish off the last of your coffee when a set of feet stop in front of you and you hear the amusement in a manâs breath.
âZoning out?â
Mingyu. That was the first thought in your mind before you even looked up to see him. You had told him you would come out to meet him but either you had missed a text or he had just chosen on his own to come find you. Glancing back down to your phone, you furrow your brows when you donât see any missed text before looking back up at him, confused.
âI was walking by and saw you here looking at the floor like it was the Mona Lisa. Ready to go?â
Watching you look around like you are afraid you will get caught, Mingyu laughs, reaching for your hand, causing you to gasp in surprise at the action.
âItâs the last day of classes before a three day weekend, baby. You are literally one of the last people in this building. The rest of the students are out finding something fun to do. Letâs do the same thing.â
Your cheeks were burning as you pulled yourself closer to Mingyu to keep your hand and his hidden from anyone who might be looking. You werenât sure why it really mattered but it was still making you feel self conscious. You were both adults. You could date one another if you wanted to.
âWhere are we going?â
When you finally speak, Mingyu grins, glancing down at you before gesturing towards his car parked near the staff parking lot, which causes you to whine.
âIâY/NâŠWhere did you expect me to be parked? Two blocks down? Hidden from sight? You act like we are committing some sort of crime.â
Mingyu sighs only to laugh when you pout up at him, feeling bad for putting him in a difficult situation. You watch him unlock his car and pull open the passenger side door before he finally lets go of your hand in place of running in over his short locks.
âYou are so fucking cute. Just get in⊠ We can talk about where we are going once we are on the road.â
He wanted to kiss you already. You were still pouting a bit and your lips looked so kissable. They looked a bit bitten with the color you had worn today and all Mingyu could imagine was leaving you breathless and your lips swollen from kissing them so much.
Nodding, you take one last look around before dropping your bag into the floorboard and sliding into the passenger seat, only to marvel a bit at how nice the car actually was. You knew what his job was and you knew he couldnât be getting paid that much but then the thought dawned on you that you saw the amount of tips he was pulling in for his streams and that didnât cover the money he was probably getting from other avenues.
Sliding behind the wheel with a soft grunt, Mingyu reaches up to pull down his sunglasses from his visor to put them on before glancing over at you with a small cheeky grin. You recognized those too. He had been wearing them in a selfie he had taken on his Instagram; they were Chanel and you could only imagine how much something like that could cost.
âNice glassesâŠâ
Shrugging, Mingyu backs out of his spot and pulls his car out onto the road, letting his palm rest on the gearshift as his fingers lazily drum a gentle beat onto the stereo display.
âThank you. They were a gift.â
A gift. Pursing your lips, you glance out the window with a nod, wondering who would be buying him Chanel sunglasses. Mingyu watches as you play with a ring on your index finger, twisting it out of nerves or just lost in thought.
âDo you want to know by who?â
You scoff before even realizing it is coming out of your mouth, causing Mingyu to laugh as he glances over at you once again.
âWow, jealous? They were a gift from my sister. She works in the fashion industry and sometimes gets things for free. This was one of them. I said I liked them so she told me to keep them.â
Biting your tongue, you feel the heat rising in your face as you glance over to Mingyu, seeing him still smiling at you. He didnât look mad; he was just amused. You had no reason or excuse to be jealous. You barely knew him, even if it felt like you had known him forever. Watching his shows didnât mean that you knew the real him.
âSorry. I really donât know whatâs wrong with me today.â
Mingyu shrugs, leaning his head back on the headrest, before offering you another smile. He knew it was going to be awkward at first. There was no way it couldnât be. It wasnât like he had made this very easy for you in the first place.
âItâs fine. You can only take what you see at face value and itâs not like Iâve given you probably the best new first impression of me.â
Shaking your head, you turn towards Mingyu, slightly letting out a breath as you really give him a once over. He was handsomeâincredibly handsome. You already knew that from your classes but you had never really had the chance to just look at him up close for this long. But now you could tell even more that he and the camboy of your dreams were the same person. From the freckle on the tip of his nose to the curve of his lips.
âBut I shouldnât assume. Itâs just⊠ Your car is really nice and your glasses are nice. Iâve seen the tips you make for your shows so I assumed you had a sugar momma or something.â
Mingyuâs smile makes it impossible for you not to smile in return. Your eyes travel over his jaw, up to his lips and to the tips of his canines that you remember obsessing over in his shows. Tightening his grip on the wheel, Mingyu chuckles quietly and shakes his head.
âNo, no sugar mommas for me. The subscriptions, tips, and revenue from a couple of sponsorships bought this car and my apartment. I do alright.â
You had to admit that watching him like this, explaining his cam show like a job, was attractive. The idea of sponsorships blew your mind but then, as you thought back on it, there were a few well placed product names in his shows and the same brands were mentioned more than once. He was smart and that was something that made your stomach tighten with desire and anticipation.
âMmâŠWhere are we going? You never told me.â
Nodding, Mingyu glances back over to you, letting his eyes follow the length of your body turned slightly sideways in your seat to face him before he takes a breath at your thighs.
âGonna pick up an early dinner and head over to my apartment. Call me selfish but Iâd like to be alone with you.â
Your stomach was doing flips. You knew he had said he wanted to take you back to his apartment the night before but in practice, it was daunting. Biting your lip as you look down, you can only nod, muttering out a meek okay in response. Mingyu grins, shaking his head at how shy you get, his hand tightening on the gearshift to keep him from reaching over and tilting your head back up towards him.
âCuteâŠâ
With bags in either hand and his keys hanging on his fingers, Mingyu grins at you as you watch him with a slight smile on your lips. You had watched him struggle to open his door but he had shooed you away, insisting he could handle it. Shaking your head, you follow him, glancing around his apartment as Mingyu stops to drop the bags onto the counter.
âMake yourself at home.â
Letting out a sigh, you lift your brows, feeling a bit overwhelmed with being in his space. It was a nice placeânothing incredibly fancyâbut you could tell he was paying a pretty penny for it. Mingyu watches you wander for a moment as he takes the containers out of the bags, turning to take out a couple plates before clearing his throat.
âSo I have water, some juice, uh..." Smiling as you turn back towards the kitchen, watching Mingyu turn suddenly domestic as he moves to his fridge, opening it to look at his drink options before he nods and continues his list. âMilk, protein powder, you know if you are into that sort of thing... or beer.â
Resting your arms on the counter, you laugh softly, meeting Mingyuâs eyes as he takes out a beer for himself, waiting for your answer. He smiles as his eyes drop to your lips as your teeth catch your bottom lip for a brief second, only to let it go with a soft sigh.
âBeer is good, though you tempted me with the protein powder.â
Laughing, Mingyu takes out a second beer, popping the cap open before sliding it to you as you glance at the large container of protein powder you had joked about, making him glance in its direction as you do.
âWho needs that much anyway?â
âIâme. People who work out regularly.â
Lifting your brow, you bring your beer to your lips, taking a sip and noticing how Mingyuâs eyes never leave you. Even as you lick your lips clean, his eyes seem to follow the swipe of your tongue over your lips before he picks up his beer to take a longer sip, his shoulders falling as if he is letting himself relax.
âAs many gym selfies as you post, you must work out every day, Mingyu.â
You watch Mingyuâs head tilt, the corner of his lips lifting in a smirk as you peak his curiosity.
âYou been looking at my Instagram?â
Shaking your head, you pull the stool out from the island to slide onto it as Mingyu works to plate the food. A shit eating look is on his face as you purse your lips, trying to think of how you would handle his question. There really was no reason to lie.
âBoth of them, actually. I looked at them today. I didnât follow them, so donât get too excited.â
Mingyu bites at his cheek, sliding a plate towards you but itâs obvious that he is amused. He loved the idea of scrolling through his pictures, which made him think of the pictures he knew he had sent you in the past without even knowing it was you.
âThatâs okay, babe. You donât have to follow me. You can see the real thing anytime you want now.â
Your fork lifted midbite, and you stopped to look at Mingyu, feeling your cheeks burning. You knew you should be turned off by such a fuckboy response but you weren't when you had been watching his show for months at this point. Swallowing your saliva, you look at your plate, opting to take a breath before finally eating the food off the fork as Mingyu watches you with a smile on his face.
He was hungry but nothing on his plate was going to fill him up when you were sitting across his kitchen island from him. Even so, Mingyu kept himself in check, taking large bites of chicken and following it with a swig from his beer as you ate much slower, trying to keep your eyes averted from his watchful gaze.
âAre you that nervous around me? After all weâve been through together already."
Scoffing against the lip of your beer bottle, you finally meet Mingyuâs eyes but you find that might have been a mistake when he smirks at you and you feel your stomach tighten. He was perfect. You had never had anyone look at you the way he did. Yes, he was looking at you like you were a meal but also like you were the only person on the planet, despite knowing there were thousands of girls in his chat daily watching his show begging for him.
âYou didnât know it was me and I wouldnât call that going through something together. Iâve seen a lot more of you than you have of me, Gyu.â
Mingyuâs lips pick up at one side when you shorten his name. Leaning down to rest his arms on the counter, the man leans across it slightly towards you, glancing over your face, down to your covered breasts and back up to your eyes.
âGyu? I like that.â Licking his lips, Mingyu tilts his head, gauging his next words, before smiling at you sweetly. âYouâre right. Youâve seen my dick plenty of times but Iâve pictured you naked probably twice as many times. Thought about you on my dick, choking on it. You've heard all the shit Iâve said on my shows.â
He wasnât wrong; youâd listened to his dirty talk and what he had said to the girl he fantasized about that you wished had been you. It was like a cruel turn of fate that it was you at this point. Furrowing your brows at Mingyuâs words, you shift on the stool, trying to fight the urge to push your thighs together as he recounts his dirty thoughts in front of you.
While you thought your movements were subtle, Mingyuâs eyes dropped immediately to your lap as he took a breath, pushing back from the island to stand at his full height. That was something you were still coming to terms with. You knew the man you were watching on the stream was large and you knew that Mingyu was a big man but seeing him in front of you like he was now was enough to take your breath away.
The way you were looking at Mingyu was making him feel even more feral than he had when you were trying to hide how you were rubbing your thighs together. Now he was fighting the urge to pounce on you where you sat.
âWhatâs the matter, pup? You are squeezing those thighs a lot. Did I say something you liked? Are you still hungry?â
Putting your fork down, you shift once again onto the stool as Mingyu moves around the kitchen to stand beside you, his hand resting on top of the counter. He was intimidating; not in a way that you thought he was a threat, but  more in a way that you knew you could lose yourself around him.
Swallowing hard, you lift your head, daring to look into his eyes as Mingyu bites down on his bottom lip, his head tilting as he waits for you to speak up. He wasnât impatient, at least not yet. This is why he has asked for your afternoon. Afternoons could lead into nights and he had plenty of food and water to keep you sustained.
âIâmaybeâŠâ
Lifting his free hand to trail his fingers along your arm, Mingyu watches your lips fall open when he reaches your shoulder.
âMaybe? Are you this shy?â
Mingyu listens to a soft whine slip from between your lips when he takes a step towards you, his hand sliding along the side of your neck. His touch was light but he knew he was crowding your space now. But you werenât running from him. Instead of turning towards him, you were leaning your head back, your back was arching, and his mouth was starting to water.
âAw, baby⊠I remember what you told me last night. You want to be told what to do, donât you? You donât want to think, do you?â
Your eyes close at Mingyuâs words, your tongue running over your suddenly very dry lips at the idea of what he was saying to you as you felt his thumb pressing against the junction of your jaw and throat. When you nod, Mingyu groans under his breath, his fingers pressing into the back of your neck and pulling you up slightly as he leans down to brush his lips over yours as he speaks.
âThen just do what I tell you to do today. You donât have to think about anything. Iâve got you.â
Falling back onto Mingyuâs bed, a breath slips from your lips as you look up at him, his knee resting between your legs. Most of your clothes had been discarded in the process of making it from the kitchen to Mingyuâs bedroom. Where you had been filled with apprehension before, all that was left was desire as the man you had been watching for months grinned down at you in appreciation of what he was seeing.
âEven better than I could have imagined. FuckâŠI hope you donât have any plans for tomorrow, pup.â
You laugh quietly, not answering the question outright, as Mingyu leans down to press his lips to the top of your breast as his hand snakes behind your back to unclasp your bra. Feeling the garment give way, you lift your body slightly, letting him help you shimmy out of it, earning you another deep growl from his chest as he sees your breasts fully.
âPleaseâŠâ
Your soft pleads were like an injection straight into Mingyuâs veins, causing him to get a renewed sense of purpose and energy. He had a feeling that he could feel spent, having fucked you multiple times, but if you said please to him like you just had, he would be hard in no time and have you pinned back on his bed.
âPlease what? Do you even know?â
When you shake your head, Mingyu laughs into a groan. You were already so far gone and he had barely touched you. You were perfect. Sliding his hands along your sides, he works his fingers into the elastic of your pants, rocking them along your hips before tugging them down your legs so that you would be naked on his bed, just like he had pictured so many times before.
Taking a step back, Mingyu runs his hand over his mouth at the image in front of him. He was still fully clothed and perhaps thatâs what made this even better. He could feel his cock pressing hard against his jeans, twitching every time you squirmed on the bed, begging for him to come back to you.
âI will, baby. Be patient. Shh, let me justâfuck. Let me look at you. I wanna remember this.â
Fingers scratching at the comforter under you and pulling it into your palms, you whimper as you feel your arousal begin to run from between your folds from just the desire to be touched. You didnât want to wait but you also didnât want to do anything Mingyu didnât want you to do. It was almost embarrassing if you let yourself think about it how quickly you let yourself give into the idea of being his.
Shedding his shirt and jeans, Mingyu kicks the clothes from his path before doing the same with his briefs, only to stop short of his bed when he seems to come back to his senses. No matter how much he wanted you, he still had to be sure how he was going about this. He may want to lose himself in the moment but you were too important.
âBabyâŠOpen your eyes. Hey, look at me. I have to ask you a question.â
Pouting, you force your eyes open and look at Mingyu as he leans on the bed with one knee. Leaning into his hand as he brushes his fingers over your hair, you look into Mingyuâs eyes as he searches your face to make sure you are paying attention before he smiles and nods.
âAre you on birth control?â Watching you nod, Mingyu nods along with you before following it up with his second question. âDo you want me to wear a condom?â
That one makes you furrow your brows; you didnât want to think about it, but Mingyuâs hand on your cheek, keeping your attention on his face, helps you focus as he tilts his head. A small sound of question from his mouth when you pause causes you to blink a few times as you consider it but then you think about his cum in all of his selfies and shake your head.
âNo? You want me to come inside of you?â
âPlease?â
âFuckâ is all Mingyu can think as his cock twitches, leaking onto his bedding when you basically beg him to cum inside of you. It was what he had wanted but he would have done whatever you wanted. Lowering his head, Mingyu smiles and nods, taking a breath to calm himself. You nudge your cheek into his hand, making Mingyu lift his head and look at you again.
âOkay. I just had to check. I know I said I'd do whatever to you, but if you ever want me to stop, just say red, okay? Think of a stop light, got it? Iâll listen to you.â
You nod and Mingyu feels like he is going to melt at how cute and perfect you look. He wanted to fuck you but he also wanted to keep you forever. He wanted to keep you in this bed and in his life. Shaking his head, Mingyu laughs to push the thought to the side for now as he leans to press his lips to yours, giving you a firm but sweet kiss that seems to help relax your mind right back to where it had been before he made you focus.
Groaning against your lips, Mingyu pulls back to look down at you as you slowly open your eyes, blinking up at him in anticipation. He wanted to ruin you for anyone else. Shaking his head, Mingyu pushes back on the bed, leaning on one arm so he can trail his hand along the length of your side as he just admires your body in full.
He could see you were rubbing your thighs together and it was driving him crazy. He had to see how wet you really were for him. Mingyu could hear the soft moans in your throat every time your hips lifted and your thighs pressed together so when he forced one of your legs to the side, all he could do was scoff.
âYouâre making a mess of my bed, pup.â
The words make you whine, your neck and face heating up with embarrassment. Mingyu just grins, running his thumb along your slit and lightly feeling you jerk under his touch as you start to apologize.
âWhy are you apologizing? I donât want that⊠youâre beautiful. I can change my bed but this is a treat. Just watching you drip for me.â
You wanted him to do more than just watch. You needed more than just his light touch. You wanted all he had promised but your brain felt fuzzy and you were in no position, nor did you want to be, to tell him what to do as Mingyu smiled at you.
âShitâŠJust look at you. All of this for me?â
It was phrased like a question but Mingyu knew you werenât going to answer as he ran his index finger between your folds, collecting a bit of your arousal on his finger. He looks back into your eyes as he brings his finger to his lips, sucking it clean with an approving groan to your taste. He had known you were going to taste good. There was no way in his mind that you wouldn't; he just wasnât prepared for how good you tasted.
Sliding down the bed, Mingyu wraps his arms around the back of your thighs, using his strength to tug your body closer to him. Looking up at the span of your body, Mingyu smiles, meeting your eyes even as his breath fans over your wet folds. You moan, feeling his fingertips press into your hips as he looks at your pussy so closely, hunger dripping from his eyes.
Without another word, Mingyu runs his tongue from your entrance to the top of your mouth, awarding himself with a drawn out moan from your parted lips. A shiver rolls through Mingyuâs body at the feeling of you against his tongue and the taste of you in his mouth. This had been his fantasy for so long that it was almost overwhelming to have it come true.
âOh my god, baby..."
Mingyuâs words are a whisper but speaking so closely against your skin causes you to arch against his mouth, urging him to continue what he had started. Not wanting to keep you waiting, Mingyu just smiles against your pussy, then groans as his face relaxes and he runs his tongue from your dripping hole up into your soft folds, collecting your sweet arousal.
Your hands claw at the bedding as you feel the fire starting to burn in your abdomen and thighs. Mingyuâs left hand slides back under your leg to rest under his mouth as his lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently. You whine his name, trying to lift your hips, when you feel his finger press into your entrance, only for your walls to clench around the digit as soon as itâs in.
âNeedy⊠Were you clenching around nothing before?â
You nod and Mingyu laughs, his lips brushing over your sensitive clit, causing you to shift your hips away from him only to be pushed back down by his right hand, still holding you tightly. Slowly and gently, a second finger presses in beside the first before Mingyu pulls his fingers back towards his palm, listening to your breathy moans. You were angelic and he was struggling to not go too fast and fuck his fingers into you at a brutal pace just to watch you gush around them.
âSo fucking warm and soft. I could get addicted to this, pup. Imagine if this is what they saw on my stream. My fingers fucking your pussy... God, theyâd lose their fucking minds. What if they just got a picture of my fingers buried inside of you?â
When you tighten around his fingers, Mingyu grins, leaning to kiss your thigh, pushing his fingers into you deeper, and turning his hand so that his thumb can rub circles around your swollen clit.
âYou like that? You want me to take that picture?â
Glancing around his bed, Mingyu watches you nod out of the corner of his eye before he reaches for his phone with his right hand, only leaning back enough to snap the picture before leaning back down to spit on your pussy and his fingers and repeating the process.
âI donât know if I want to share them or be greedy as fuck.â
You feel the phone hit the bed but you donât care to look as you feel Mingyuâs thumb push around his spit and your arousal. Your orgasm was right on the edge and it was clear that he could tell with the intensity that took over him. He wanted your orgasm as much as you did.
His mouth back on your pussy, Mingyu groans your name as he feels your walls tighten around his fingers. He could feel your cum around his fingers and he wanted it on his tongue. He wanted you on his lips. You whine about the loss of his fingers but the feeling of his tongue pressing into you makes up for any loss you once felt as Mingyuâs tongue all but fucks your cum back into you.
Feeling your fingers running through his hair, Mingyu pulls back a dazed look in his eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly as you come down from your orgasm. Your thighs were twitching and even the lightest touch to your folds would grant him a high pitched whine from your lips.
âSo damn sensitive. I could listen to that all day. Are you okay?â
Nodding, you run your fingers along Mingyuâs side and then along his abs as he moves to lean over you. Mingyuâs lips glide over yours in a slow, deep kiss that seems almost too sensual for two people who barely knew each other but neither of you pull away. Instead, Mingyu smiles against your lips first when he feels your fingers running along his skin along his chest a few moments later, your knee resting against his hip and his mind pictures doing this a year from now.
âCome here, pup. I want to see that pretty ass.â
Sliding back on the bed, Mingyu helps you roll over on your stomach, his hand sliding around your stomach as you move to your knees. He watches as you rest your cheek on your arms, keeping your ass up in the air for him. It was a perfect image and his cock was leaking heavily at how perfect you were. Running his hand along your ass, Mingyu lifts it quickly only to bring it down once, rubbing over the spot as you gasp and whine at the feeling of him spanking you.
âComfortable?â
It was a real question but Mingyu just smirked as you hummed in response instead of actually answering him. You were so far gone; he could do almost anything to you and you would be just fine at this point. Leaning down, Mingyu presses a kiss on your ass before moving to his knee and gripping his cock with his left hand so he can line himself up with you and ease himself in slowly.
Furrowing your brows, you dig your nails into your arm at the feeling of the stretch, even as Mingyu goes slowly. Your mind was blank up until the moment he started to thrust into you and now all you saw were stars. All there was in your mind was Mingyu and his cock. Gasping for a breath, you press your forehead down into the bedding, letting out a moan when Mingyuâs hips rest against your ass, his fingers digging into your hips.
âShhâŠIâll just stay here. Youâre doing so good, baby. Holy shit, you feel so good. Let me know if itâs too much.â
The painful stretch fades almost as quickly as it hit you, a euphoric, full feeling taking over and you find yourself wanting him to move. You find yourself wanting to be filled over and over again by him until you are full of his cum. You feel your cheeks burning in embarrassment at your own thoughts, even as Mingyu groans, leaning his head back, feeling your pussy clamping around him as you think about him feeling you up.
âIâIâm gonna move. Youâre killing me. Gonna make me cum too fast if I donât. Itâs like you want my cum right now. Is that it, baby? Huh?â
With his hips meeting yours in rhythmic motions, Mingyu runs his left hand along your back soothingly as you whimper his name, almost like a prayer getting drunk off of him. You werenât answering his questions but he didnât need the answers when your pussy was talking for you. He could feel you were getting closer, just like you had around his fingers.
Leaning over your back, Mingyu runs his mouth over your shoulder as his hips rut against your ass, pushing his cock deeply inside of you as he listens to your cries, not realizing tears were actually falling over your cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure. It isnât until Mingyu leans back, pulling your back against his chest so he can rest his cheek against your head, that he realizes that you are crying and it makes him slow only for a moment.
âColor, Y/N?â
Muttering green three times, you wrap your hand around Mingyu's, which rests over your stomach, keeping him close to you. With the assurance that you are okay, Mingyu rests his lips against your temple and rolls his hips up hard and fast against your ass, feeling your cum running down his cock as the coil inside of you snaps.
Watching you orgasm was one of Mingyuâs new favorite things in the world. It ranked up there with eating his favorite foods and watching his favorite movies. Right now, he would put it at the top of the list as his own climax teetered at the edge until you turned your head to look at him and your lips parted, a fucked out look on your face and he knew he did that.
You knew the signs of Mingyuâs climax. The way his voice would change, the way his mouth would part, and now you knew the look in his eyes when it happened. That was your favorite part and it didnât matter how far gone you were in your own orgasm, you would never forget that look as the warmth of Mingyuâs cum began to fill you up and spill out onto your thighs with each of his thrusts.
âGyuâŠâ
He couldnât handle you saying his name like that. Not while he was cumming inside of you this hard. Leaning you back down onto the bed, Mingyu groans into your ear, burying himself deep inside of you with one last thrust. With both of his arms caging you down onto the bed, Mingyu tries to catch his breath as he feels you trying to do the same under his weight.
After another moment of silence, Mingyu listens to your soft whimper when his cock slips from you and he moves to lay beside you. It sounded like you were disappointed to be empty and that was almost devastating. How could he stand this? You were going to be the death of him.
"Baby, fuck, are you okay?â
You smile and Mingyu melts once again. You looked so happy and at peace. You had said you didnât like to think and he had accomplished that. Running his hand over your back, Mingyu smiles, leaning to press a kiss to your lips, feeling you return the kiss.
Your brows furrow, feeling the bed shift but you canât find the strength to open your eyes but somehow you know Mingyuâs not in the bed with you anymore. Itâs colder and there is a missing weight. You were enjoying his weight. He was like a perfect weighted blanket. A frown quickly takes over your expression as you whine and try to turn over, finding yourself exhausted.
âNo, noâŠshhh. Iâm just in the bathroom. Iâm starting the shower. Iâll carry you. Then Iâll change the bed and we can get back in bed.â
Who were you to argue with any of that?
Several hours later, you wake up to a warm sheet and a heavy arm covering your body. The smell of bodywash that wasnât yours fills your nose but then the memories of Mingyu washing your body flood your memories and you canât help but smile as your cheeks burn. It hadnât been a dream. None of it had.
You can feel the soreness in your thighs and in between your legs but its a good pain. The pain you wonât regret.
Turning in Mingyuâs arms, you watch him sleep for a moment, unable to stop the way your lips pull up into another smile as he smacks his lips in his sleep as he starts to wake up. You hadnât meant to wake him up but just the movement was enough.
His eyelids flutter open, and Mingyuâs lips pull up slowly, seeing you awake and more coherent. You had been so out of it during the shower and he had barely gotten you to drink part of a bottle of water but now your eyes were bright and you were smiling at him. That made him feel good.
âHeyâŠâ
Mingyu watches you bury your nose against the pillow and he canât help but chuckle at how shy you are, even after he had fucked you dumb in his bed just a few hours earlier.
âStop that. Come here.â
Pulling you towards him, Mingyu presses his lips against yours and feels you melt into the kiss and against his body. He was so warm; you felt safe but a bit out of place and confused about what came next.
âThatâs nice.â
You smile and nod in agreement, causing Mingyu to lean his head back and look at you.
âTalk to me. Whatâs on your mind, babe?"
âWhatâŠdo I just go home now?â
Laughing, Mingyu shakes his head before rolling on his back and looking up at the ceiling, letting you rest on his arm under your head.
âI donât want you to. I mean, hell. I took pictures of you during sex and I wonât lieâŠone of you sleeping. I donât just take pictures of random girls on my phone. I want to do this again. Not just the sex. The date part. I like you, Y/N.â
Turning on Mingyuâs arm, you smile but try to hide it, only causing Mingyu to feel your warm cheek drawing his attention to you. With another laugh, Mingyu reaches over to push at your warm cheek playfully as he bites at his lip, furrowing his brow questioningly.
âWhat do you want to do?â
Nudging your cheek against his fingers, you smile and pull your legs up under the covers, feeling a bit smaller at his question. You knew what you wanted but even hearing his confession, it felt silly. It took looking into his eyes and seeing the vulnerable look there to make you do the same.
âI want to stay. I like you too, Gyu.â
Grinning, Mingyu turns back towards you, leaning to kiss you once more and reaching to tilt your face more towards his as you laugh against his lips.
âThen itâs settled.â
He was incorrigible but you liked it. Shaking your head, you sigh against his lips, thinking about the other things he had said.
âIt is... also, I want to see the pictures on your phone of me, and maybe you can post one of the pictures to your account.â
His brows lifting, Mingyu feels his cock react to your words. The idea of posting pictures with you was giving him way too many ideas and he wanted to give you time to recharge before he fucked you back into his mattress.
âFuckâŠreally?â
Laughing, you nod as Mingyu runs his nails along the side of your neck and you feel his body press closer to yours.
"Okay, yeah, Iâll get my phone.â
When Mingyu starts to move, you hold on to him and shake your head, making him laugh this time as he looks into your eyes, letting you kiss him this time before you speak on his lips.
âIn a bit, just stay with me for a while longer first.â
Humming against your lips, Mingyu nods and rolls you on your back, deepening the kiss, knowing there was no rush now with you right where he had always pictured you, with him.
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed
darl+ing (patreon exclusive)
pairing;Â kim mingyu x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), heavy angst, fluff, toxic, ranch au, brothers best friend au
content warnings;Â rancher!gyu, wife!reader, uncle!cheol (tw for june), kids, injury, hurt/comfort (in a way)
smut warnings;Â oral (f recieving), handjob
w/c; 3.2k (teaser 327)
a/n; thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading and to @supi-wupi and @sluttyminghao for betaing! you guys are the best đđ
this fic is a Patreon exclusive bonus drabble â to read this drabble subscribe to my Patreon and click here
You had felt smart when you had told Mingyu you could throw the hay by yourself. His teasing facade had fallen and was taken over by worry when you scoffed at him, aiming to remind him that you belonged on this ranch. It had felt smart, until you threw the bale of hay and you felt a searing pain in your left shoulder.Â
At first you didnât react; the hay fell down short of where you had intended, and Mingyu sighed out a laugh, ready to tease you. You had talked a big game. You told Mingyu how many times you threw hay when you were younger, but then you realized that maybe you shouldnât just try to do something to prove a point.Â
Six hours later you were being carefully ushered back into the house while Mingyu followed behind you with a seemingly permanent scowl on his face. You had a partially torn rotator cuff and you were still trying to do too much. In your mind there was still plenty to be done, and you werenât helpless.Â
âWow⊠A sling and everything?â Leaning up from the couch, Seungcheol moves his eyes over you slowly before finally meeting your eyes. He was much more amused with your situation than your husband was, but what else did you expect from your loving big brother?Â
âShut the fuââ Pressing your lips together at the sight of your daughter peeking her head over Seungcheolâs shoulder as she uses his arm to stand up on the couch on her own. You were grateful to your brother for keeping her while you and Mingyu went to the hospital, but it was already past her bedtime and the cute smirk on her lips told you that she knew it. âHi, baby. Did Uncle Cheollie let you stay up past your bedtime?â Giggling against Seungcheolâs arm, your daughter then squeals when you get closer, moving to pick her up with your free arm.Â
READ THE DRABBLE HERE
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Let Me Hear You Say...
pairing;Â kim mingyu x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), heavy angst, fluff, toxic, ranch au, brothers best friend au
summary;Â Your brother calls you home and you quickly remember why you left the ranch in the first place. At least the scenery got a lot more handsome with the ranch foreman, Kim Mingyu at his side.
content warnings; death of a family member, family trauma, older brother!seungcheol, lawyer!reader, ranch hand/foreman!mingyu, ranch hands â jun/soonyoung/chan, arguing, crying, toxic family relationship, eating/drinking, rich reader & seungcheol, physical fight, blood, bruises. i know nothing about how an estate actually works and that shows but i did my best. (Patreon has itâs own warnings)
smut warnings;Â unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, oral (f receiving), mingyu is able to carry the reader (strength kink), pet names.
w/c;Â 28.8k and some change (including Patreon bonus)
a/n; thank you to my june for proofreading. i love you sugar butt. i hope you guys like this one. its very much self serving. i mean come on⊠itâs mingyu and its ranch au (im as southern as southern can be). thank you for reading my loves!
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
âSheâs here for how long?âÂ
Lifting two of the suitcases, Mingyu grunts at the weight of the one in his left hand before tilting his head in disbelief as Seungcheol takes out two more suitcases from the back of his SUV.Â
âUh⊠I donât know. A couple weeks? Maybe longer. However long it takes to work through the paperwork and shit.âÂ
Mingyu had never met you, but he had heard plenty of stories about the infamous baby Choi. While Seungcheol had stayed home and learned the ropes from your fatherâeventually taking on the ranchâyou had other plans.Â
Leaving Montana in your rearview mirror, you headed for New York, went to school, got your law degree, and were on your way to making partner at one of the most elite practices in the city. Everything got put on hold with a single phone call from your brother asking you to come home, sorrow in his voice as he struggled through having to tell you the news both of you had been dreading for a whileâyour father had passed away. That had been a few months ago. You both had survived the funeral but now the hard stuff was keeping you both from moving on so you found yourself back.
âPut your back into it, Gyu. They canât be that heavy. You throw hay daily, and now youâre whining over a suitcase?âÂ
Mocking Seungcheolâs teasing, Mingyu follows behind him with a grunt as he lifts your bags, making his way into the large main house where you already were. "Yeah, well, hay weighs less than this shiââ Feeling his words get caught in his throat as he moves into the living room, meeting your eyes for the first time, Mingyu swallows hard and watches as Seungcheol puts what he was carrying down before moving to pull you into a tight hug. God, you were pretty. Mingyu didnât know what he had been expecting. He had seen pictures of you, of course, but that was different than being in the same damn room as you.Â
âHey, squirt. How was the flight?âÂ
As much as you werenât looking forward to being home, the comfort of a tight hug from your big brother was just what the doctor had ordered. Burying your face against his jacket, you sigh softly before taking in a breath, letting the warmth of his embrace wash over you before you finally take a step back and shrug, meeting Seungcheolâs eyes and feeling another set lingering on you. âExhausting. Not even business class could make a five-hour flight bearable.â Finally looking past your brother, when you hear a set of heavier bags hitting the hardwood floor, you lift your brow, meeting the eyes of the other man curiously. âThatâs Louis Vuitton.âÂ
Unsure if you are speaking directly to him, Mingyu glances behind him before lifting his hand to touch his chest and shaking his head. âNah, Kim Mingyu.âÂ
Scoffing under your breath, you hear your brother chuckle before he shakes his head and gestures back to the man who had just introduced himself.Â
âAs the idiot said, heâs Kim Mingyu. Heâs smarter than he seems, I promise. He just isnât used to all your fancy shit, Y/N.âÂ
Forcing yourself to not roll your eyes, you move past your brother and towards Mingyu, who visibly takes a deep breath watching you lean down to your luggage. âClearly. It rolls, Kim Mingyu, and Louis Vuitton is the name of the brand that made this luggage.â Pushing on the button to extend the handle, you let out a soft sigh on your breath as you stand back to your full height in front of Mingyu, meeting his eyes once again. âThanks for bringing it in. Are you, like, my brotherâs bestie or something?âÂ
You didnât fit in at all. If it wasnât for some family resemblance, Mingyu wouldnât even know that you and Seungcheol were siblings. For one, you were gorgeous, and Seungcheol was Seungcheol, and for two, you were saying shit that was going over Mingyuâs head, making him smile like an idiot. âBestie? Uh⊠I mean sure. Weâre close, but I work here, Miss Choi.âÂ
A smirk pulls at your lips when you hear your brother curse under his breath in disbelief; meanwhile, Mingyu has sparked your interest in several ways. âYou do? What do you do?âÂ
Realizing you hadnât corrected him, calling you Miss Choi, Mingyu swallows hard, his smile fading only slightly as he puts on a confident facade, not wanting to let you get the better of him. âYeah, umâall kinds of things. Iâm the ranch foreman so Iâm in charge of all the other ranch hands. Make sure they do their jobsââÂ
âSo then what does Cheollie do?âÂ
âAlright, thatâs enough. Gyu, the boys should be back from fixing that fence up on the ridge. Make sure Chan puts shit back where it belongs.â Seungcheol had seen this song and dance with you before with other ranch hands when you lived at home or when you would come home during the summer. You had broken a few hearts and got yours broken a few times in the process. You were too important, and what Seungcheol needed you home for was too necessary for you to be mixed up with someone who didnât know what they were getting themselves into.Â
âYeah, sure. Iâll talk to you later.â Nodding his head towards Seungcheol, Mingyu smiles softly before meeting your eyes and nodding his head again politely. âMaâam.âÂ
Waving as Mingyu closes the large wooden door, you laugh under your breath hearing Seungcheol let out another exasperated sigh. âWhat? Heâs cute.âÂ
âLeave him alone. Heâs busy and heâs not used to girls like you.âÂ
Feigning shock, you pull the heavy bag behind you as Seungcheol lifts two of your bags, heading down the hall towards your bedroom. âGirls like me? What the fuck does that mean, Choi Seungcheol?âÂ
Your bedroom was much like it had been before you had left for university. You had changed things here and there, giving it a more grown-up feel, and yet every time you were back here, it felt like you were a teenager again. Watching Seungcheol put your bags at the end of your large bed, you narrow your eyes at him as he shakes his head to your question, finally turning to meet your eyes.Â
âI donât mean it bad. You are just... a lot. You never plan on sticking around so you tend to fuck with their heads. Canât we justââ Sighing, Seungcheol moves towards you, putting his hands on your biceps as he offers you a smile. âLetâs just focus on getting the paperwork all worked out. Get this will shit out of the way and you can get back to doing whatever it is that you do.âÂ
Whatever it is that you do. Nodding along with Seungcheolâs words, you sigh before returning his smile, only strained. This was another reason you hated coming home. Seungcheol and your father had never understood why you had left home and done something different. You werenât a ranch girl. You had a brain and you wanted to do something with it. It felt like to you that they only appreciated it when they needed itâlike now.Â
âSure, whatever, Cheol. Iâll get it figured out for you, then get back to whatever it is that I do.âÂ
Mingyu enjoyed early mornings on the ranch. In his opinion, Montana sunrises were the prettiest thing that anyone could experience; at least they had been until he had seen you. There were things to get doneâa literal laundry list of tasks that he had set in front of him for the day and yet as Mingyu walked with one of the horses next to him on a lead rope, he could only stare at you behind his sunglasses as you sipped your coffee on the patio while the sun rose behind you. This was his new favorite thing.Â
One thing you had missed about being home was the quiet. The city, especially New York City, was anything but quiet. Leaning back in the chair, you sigh happily, feeling the coffee warm you from the inside out as you just enjoy the gentle breeze and silence.Â
There werenât too many people on the ranch to be up at this time. You had always been an early bird, usually beating your father and Seungcheol by an hour every day, but it seemed that the ranch foreman had a similar schedule as you. Lifting your hand from your coffee, you smile behind the cup when you catch Mingyu staring at you. Itâs so obvious that he thinks that his sunglasses are hiding where he is looking when he looks startled by your sudden attention, turning his head back towards the horse stumbling over seemingly nothing in front of him. âJesus⊠he is cute.âÂ
Clearing his throat, Mingyu opens the gate, unhooking the rope from the horse and patting on her side, guiding her inside the fenced-in area. He could almost feel your eyes on him still. You were brighter than the sun that was slowly rising and he knew he was going to have a hard time keeping his distance despite what Seungcheol had told him.Â
âSheâs not here for long, Mingyu. âSides⊠thatâs my little sister, so clearly⊠off limits.âÂ
You didnât look so much like somebodyâs little sister and it would be rude of Mingyu to avoid you the entire time you were home. Turning back towards the house, he lifts his hand in turn, waving back at you and watching a pretty smile spread across your face. God, he was in trouble. âMorninâ, Miss Choi.âÂ
Crossing your legs from one side to the other as you get more comfortable in the chair, you tilt your head, setting your coffee on the side table beside you as Mingyu makes his way towards you, wiping his hands off on his jeans. The ranch foremen in the past had never looked like this. They had always been grumpy old men picked by your father for their ability to keep the other hands in line, but clearly your brother had other things in mind when he picked Kim Mingyu for the job, and you werenât complaining. He had to be what Taylor Swift was writing about when she won Grammys, as he strutted up in his tight blue jeans and tucked in a white t-shirt.Â
âGood morning. You get started early. Coffee?â Gesturing to the glass carafe on the tray. You watch as Mingyuâs brows furrow behind his glasses before he nods, leaning to pick it up and study it as if itâs a complex piece of technology heâs never seen before.Â
âUh, yeah, sure. You pour your coffee into another pot before you drink it? Thatâs some fancy shit.âÂ
Unable to stop yourself from laughing, you offer Mingyu one of the extra cups from the tray as you shake your head, sitting back in your chair. âNo, what are you talking about? Have you never had pour-over coffee before, Mingyu?âÂ
âPour-over coffee? Canât say I have, maâam. Iâve had drip, gas station, and diner. Theyâve never done me wrong.â Bringing the cup to his lips as he carefully sets the delicate glass pot back on the tray, Mingyu makes a bit of a face at the taste of the coffee before tilting his head as he sits down near you. âNone of it quite tasted like this, though.âÂ
He was cute and funny. You had woken up dreading the day, but so far the company and the sky as the sun rose just behind you were worth the trip. âYeah? That means you like it?âÂ
âIt ainât half bad. It sure ainât gonna keep me goingânot strong enough for that, but it tastes good.âÂ
Ainâts and gonnas. You had forgotten how people talked here. Shaking your head, you try to hide your smile by rubbing your lips together but itâs impossible as Mingyu takes another sip of his coffee, letting out a happy sigh. He was almost infectious to be around already. You could understand from just the few minutes of being around him why your brother liked him. âHow long have you been working for, Cheol?âÂ
Oh, so you were going to get right down to it with the questions. Clearing his throat, Mingyu shifts on the chair, going from resting his elbows on his knees so that his back is bent in a curve to sitting up straight, his back against the chair like it was intended to be used. âUh, wellâroundabout three years. He and I met back in school; of course he graduated a couple years before me, but we kept in touch. Then when your dadâwhen Mr. Choi started to get sick... " Mingyu knew it was a touchy subject; he could see the way your lips turned down at the mention of your father. There was history there that he didnât know about and that he might never understand, but it made him sad to see your light fade so quickly. âUm, Iâyeah, thatâs when your brother hired me on. He needed an extra hand.âÂ
Nodding along with Mingyu as he speaks, you pick up your own cup, taking a sip of coffee as he stumbles through his explanation. You knew why he was timid about it. Everyone was timid when they talked about your father. He had been a strong and resilient man. He had made you and Seungcheol who you both were today, and yet where your brother idolized him, you felt like a disappointment now more than ever. You hadnât been at his bedside when he took his last breath; that had been Seungcheol. He was the filial son and you were the rebellious daughter.Â
âI see. Well, Iâm sure they both appreciated having you around. I mean, Iâm sure Cheol still appreciates it.â Sighing against the lip of your cup, you furrow your brows, feeling Mingyuâs eyes moving over your face, studying you. âItâs a big ranch for one person to handle. Dad knew that all too well.âÂ
Mingyu found himself half wondering if you were skipping around what you really wanted to say or if you meant what you were saying, but in the end right now it didnât matter. You looked sad and it made his chest hurt. âIâyeah. Itâs a lotta work. Seungcheolâs got the smarts for it though and Iâve not got any plans on leaving him high and dry anytime soon. The other guys are good ones too. Promise they will help him keep it up.â Furrowing his brows as he watches you nod again, looking down at your coffee resting your arms on your legs, Mingyu considers his words before looking around for anyone else, then back to you. "Butâlook, I know it ainât my place, and I donât know you from Adam, but... if you ever just wanna talk about whatâs going on, you know with everything from your side of it... my doorâs always open to ya.âÂ
That was a dangerous thing to offer to someone you barely knew and yet it made your shoulders and brow relax as a smile pulled at your lips. âI must look really shitty for you to offer that, huh?âÂ
âWhaâno! You look beautifuâI mean, what? I just⊠You know Iâm justâthis ainât cominâ out right.â Mingyu could feel his neck, face, and ears getting hotter; the more he tried to back petal the more words that came out of his mouth. Finally closing his eyes, hearing you laugh under your breath, he sighs and opens one eye slightly to watch you run your fingers along your neck as you shake your head, clearly amused with him. âWords ainât really my strong point.âÂ
âThatâs obvious, but itâs cute. Iâll think about it.âÂ
Leaning against the door frame leading out to the patio, Seungcheol narrows his eyes at what is in front of him. It isnât even just that you and Mingyu are sitting there together sharing coffee; itâs the laughing and how you are talking to him. It was already too flirty for Seungcheolâs liking. Mingyu was a nice guy and gave off a certain vibe from the getgo no matter who he was talking to, but you put him in front of a pretty girl and itâs game over. Seungcheol knew you were pretty. The genes in his family were too good for you not to get attention and God had you over the years and it had caused him headache after headache. This was not a headache he wanted to deal withânot now.Â
âWhat are we thinking about?â
Shifting suddenly to the sound of Seungcheolâs voice, Mingyu clears his throat, taking a bigger sip of the coffee as his eyes follow his best friend on to the patio. You had less of a reaction and looked more annoyed than anything, simply crossing your legs from one side to the other and then crossing your arm over your stomach as you shake your head and sip your coffee.Â
âNothing. Have some coffee, Cheol.âÂ
It was more than nothing; that was clear from your closed-up body language and Mingyuâs deer in the headlights routine, but Seungcheol wasnât going to push it when his presence was enough to stop the conversation. âDonât mind if I do.â Picking up one of the cups, Seungcheol makes a face at the coffee carafe and rolls his eyes as he pours himself a cup, glancing from his task to you and back. âCouldnât just use a normal ass coffee maker?âÂ
âDidnât want just normal ass gross coffee, so no. Why does it matter? I didnât ask you to make it.âÂ
It had been a bit awkward just sitting and talking to you, but with both you and Seungcheol here... Mingyu couldnât help the way his eyes went from one person to the other as you bickered over something as simple as the coffee.Â
âYeah, well⊠Coffee is coffee, squirt. Right, Gyu?â Scoffing under his breath when Mingyu shakes his head, refusing to take a side, Seungcheol finally takes a sip of the coffee and curses under his breath at how good it is, not willing to tell you out loud. âWhatever, we got shit to today. Need to get Jun and Soonyoung to separate the calves out and let Chan start deworming them.âÂ
God, you really were home. Making a face, hearing what your brother was asking Mingyu to do, you slip out of your seat, bringing your cup with you before offering to take Mingyuâs empty one.Â
âUh, yeahâoh, thanks, Miss Choi. I couldâa got it; yours too in a few minutes.âÂ
Scoffing, you roll your eyes and sigh loudly, moving past Seungcheol as he smirks at your reaction. Finally, you were tired of the Miss Choi bullshit.Â
âJust call me Y/N, and it seems like you all have plenty to do besides washing cups, Mingyu.âÂ
Your name was pretty and Mingyu couldnât stop himself from grinning a bit to himself as he nodded along with your words. âIâyeah, busy day, it seems. Thanks, Y/N.âÂ
âUh huh, donât worry about it. Cheol? Is the paperwork in the study?âÂ
That was Mingyuâs cue to get up and get moving. He could see the look on his friendâs face change at the mention of the paperwork and he didnât really want to be present for this conversation. Offering you both a quick nod, he glances back towards you one last time before making his way back down towards the barns, leaving you and Seungcheol alone.Â
Sighing under the sound of the water running, Seungcheol looks down at the cup in his hands for a few seconds before pushing up from the chair he had sat down on to move into the kitchen with you. He hadnât forgotten why you were home, but it still didnât make it any easier. It wasnât like he didnât want to get through this process. He knew how it was going to end so to speak, but the end meant his father really was gone and never coming home. He had watched his father take his last breath and he had shed many a tear, but it still never really felt real. Not as real as knowing his name was on all of those papers saying all this responsibility was his now. âYeah, all in a folder on the desk. I didnât mess with it after Dadâs attorney handed it off to give it to you. I donât know what any of it means anyway. You know Iâm not the brains.âÂ
Putting both cups into the dish-drying rack, you listen to Seungcheol moving behind you around the island. You knew he was apprehensive about this part of the process and you also knew that perhaps you should be, but you felt that there was nothing for you inside of that folder anyway. You werenât the golden child. You were the disappointment. You were doing this for your brother and that was why you would put on a professional face and help him through it. âWhy you got me then, huh? Iâll take care of the hard stuff and you can play with the cows and horses.âÂ
Seungcheol knew that tone of voice and yet he didnât want to say anything that might scare you away, so instead he just nodded along, offering you a smile as he scratched the back of his head. âYeâyeah youâre right. Iâll get outta your hair. Gotta help Mingyu and the boys anyway. If you need me for anything, just call my cell, alright?â
Pulling your cardigan around you a bit tighter, you mimic Seungcheolâs smile before nodding in return and watching him head for the patio door, leaving you alone in the house. It had been a long time since you had been inside your childhood home alone.
When you were a kid, you loved this house. It was a sense of pride. You got to live in a big house with your parents and your big brother. There were always animals inside and outside of the house, but then your mother left and you grew up. By the time you were a teenager, the relationship between you and your father was strained. You knew it wasnât his fault that your mother had chosen to leave, especially when she decided that none of you were worth her time anymore, but you still blamed him. It was easier than blaming her. You reminded him of her. You reminded everyone of her. That was why Seungcheolâs words cut you so deep, even if you pretended that they hadnât.Â
Moving through the house, you look over the pictures on the mantle and sigh to yourself, realizing that it is your fault that the last family portrait was from before you had left for university. Your father had begged you to take one after your graduation, but you had refusedâlooking back on it now, you could remember the disappointment in his face.Â
It was easier for you to refuse and lash out at him or at Seungcheol when you looked back and remembered being told you were wasting your time and energy on going to the cityâyour family needed you here. What about what you needed? The thought makes your chest feel tight as you clutch your cardigan a bit harder in your hand at your heart, tearing your eyes away from your fatherâs face in the portrait and feeling them follow you towards the hall.Â
The inside of your fatherâs studyâSeungcheolâs studyâwas just as it had always been. Dark wood, rich leather, and books lining numerous bookshelves and end tables around the room, not to mention the large desk in front of the window. The deskâyour fatherâs deskâlooked the same that it always had with papers covering it, pens not put back in the organizer right in front of where they lay, but the main difference was the large dark brown legal envelope in the center.Â
You had a good idea of what all was inside that envelope. This wouldnât be the first time that you had assisted someone in the estate administration process, but this was the first time you were doing it for your family. You had told yourself it would be easy. Inside that envelope youâd find the will, a few debts that would possibly need to be settled, possibly medical in natureâthat was commonâand then all the deeds and paperwork that had been collected for everything that your father had. It should be simple. Seungcheolâs name should already be listed as co-owner or signer of 90% of the paperwork and he would be named the executor, giving him assets and ownership of the rest. All you would need to do was make sure the Iâs were dotted and the Tâs were crossed.Â
Sliding into the leather chair behind the desk, you tense up to the feelingâhow small you feel in your fatherâs chair and behind his deskâbefore trying to push that away and reach for the envelope, undoing the string keeping it tightly closed. This would be easier if you put away your personal feelings and regrets, allowing you to focus on what was in front of you. That would be how you could get this done quickly and get back to your own lifeâwhatever it is that you do.Â
The air felt thicker around you as you cleared off a place on the desk before carefully removing the paperwork from the envelope and laying it in a neat stack in front of you. The top was just a letter from your fatherâs attorneyânothing unexpected, a sympathy note really and nothing more, but it was what was next that made you feel like the walls were closing in around you.Â
I hereby nominate, constitute, and appoint Choi Y/N as executor of my will and estate.Â
It would be fine. A bit more work than you had anticipated. You would have to stay for a bit longer than you thought, butâ
I bequeath unto the persons named below, if he or she survives me by 30 (thirty) days, all of my property, assets, and belongings:Â
Name:Choi SeungcheolÂ
Relationship: Son Â
Name: Choi Y/N
Relationship: Daughter
Attempting to take a deep breath, you fail as your eyes continue to scan your fatherâs will, feeling your heart in your throat.Â
Special RequestsÂ
I direct that on my death my remains shall be cremated and all cremation expenses shall be paid out of my estate. Any and all debts shall be paid out of my estate. Any and all other property, real estate, assets, and belongings will be owned and split equally by my children as my executor sees fit.Â
Placing the will back on top of the stack of papers, you rest your head in your hands, feeling anxiety pulsing from your head to your toes. He put everything on you and while Seungcheol was in fact getting everything, so were you. This wasnât as easy as handing your brother the keys to the palace, so to speak, and taking your small percentage; this would take cooperation and time to sort through.Â
âOh fuckââ One last cruel joke from your father, or at least thatâs how it felt at the moment as you lean your head back, glancing towards the bar cart under the window facing out towards the back of the ranch.Â
You needed a drink; it wasnât even 9 am and you were already on your feet, pouring yourself a glass of your fatherâs 30-year-old whiskey that you had never been allowed to touch. Letting out a breath into the glass, you look out at Seungcheol leaning over the gate as he talks to the ranch hands as they work calves through the cattle chute one at a time. It was almost amusing now, feeling the warm liquor coating your throat as you thought back to the papers that changed your life and his, as he went about his day with no idea as to what you had just found out.Â
Glancing towards the house, Mingyu furrows his brows, hearing Seungcheol raise his voice for probably the fifth time in the last half hour. It had just started to get dark and they were making their way through the last of the chores for the day when the fussing had started.Â
This wasnât something that he or the other boys on the ranch were used to. Every once in a while, Seungcheol and his dad would get into a bit of a quarrel but nothing like this. This sounded personal and there had been a couple of times when your voice had reached a peak that Mingyu wondered if he should intervene, only to get a sharp look from Jun reminding him that this was family business and as much as they might all feel like it, none of them were really family.Â
âYeah? Well, fuck you, Y/N. Iâll do what I want. This is bullshitâŠâÂ
Leaning his head down towards the gate as he pushes it closed, Mingyu sighs loudly, looking towards the house again, knowing this time he wasnât the only one doing it. Seungcheol was on the patio now, a cigarette between his lips as he muttered under his breath, his brows knitted together tightly. For as long as Mingyu had known Seungcheol, he rarely smoked. This had to be bad if he was stressed enough to pull out a new pack of cigarettes and start pacing.Â
âMaybe I shouââÂ
âShould what? Get yelled at because you stick your nose in some shit that donât concern any of us?â While his words were sharp, Junâs eyes said something else. He was concerned and he didnât want Mingyuâs big heart to cause him to be the punching bag. âIf Cheol wants to talk to us about it, heâll find us. Come on, itâs time for dinner anyhow and you said youâd cook.âÂ
That brought a bit of a smile to Mingyuâs face, but one more look back towards the house and seeing you standing in the window of the living room wiping tears from your cheeks made his feet feel like they were stuck in concrete.Â
âGyu! Come on! Move your ass.âÂ
God what Mingyu would do to fix this. He wasnât even sure how or what was the real problem, but he hated this. Hanging his hat up next to the door in the house that the three ranch hands called their temporary home, Mingyu lets out a breath he hadnât even realized he had been holding when the door shuts behind him. He had spent many a summer inside this house with other ranch hands; there were plenty of fond and less than fond memories hidden in the walls.Â
âWhat you think theyâre bitchinâ âbout anyways? I donât think Iâve seen Cheol that wound up in a while.âÂ
Sitting down at the table in the middle of the room, Soonyoung yawns into his words, starting to put his feet up on the table when Jun pushes them back into the floor, pulling the chair out next to him to sit down, his eyes following Mingyu as he opens the fridge. âNone of our business, but seeing as how it involves his sister... Iâd say itâs âbout Mr. Choiâs stuff. Just going out on a limb.âÂ
Wasnât much of a limb to go out on now that Mingyu thought about it; Jun was probably right. Furrowing his brow tightly in thought, Mingyu uses the toe of his shoe to open the cabinet next to the fridge. Putting the ingredients in his hands down on the countertop, he leans to take out the pots and pans he would need for dinner as he listens to the boys talk behind him.Â
âSheâs pretty enough, and I mean damn pretty, but Seungcheol didnât need more headache.â Lifting his hands from the table, Chan tries to keep the peace, seeing the looks from not only Jun and Soonyoung but also the sudden glance over the shoulder from Mingyu. âNo, waitâhear me out, alright. The old man was always saying something or another about how Y/N wasnât doing this or thatâshe wouldnât come home for Thanksgiving or he was having to pay for tuition againââÂ
âAnd? He was proud as fuck that she graduated from that school, Chan, and you know it. He wouldnât stop telling everybody whoâd listen that his daughter was a fancy lawyer now.â Scoffing as he drops the hamburger meat into the bottom of the pot, Mingyu clicks his tongue against his teeth, trying to keep himself from getting too riled up in your defense. There was no reason for him to feel so protective of you and yet he couldnât help it. He had seen that look in your eye this morning and then again at the window. âJunâs right, ainât none of this our fuckinâ business.âÂ
You had expected Seungcheol to react poorly to your fatherâs will, but you hadnât expected him to explode the way he had. The look on his face was almost one of betrayal when he read the words on the page before tossing it down on the desk, muttering that it was bullshit over and over again before finally meeting your eyes.Â
âLook⊠Cheol, I know itâs not idealââÂ
âThe fuck, like you know a damn thing, Y/N. You think you know everything. Thatâs your fuckinâ problem.âÂ
You had started to follow your brother out of the room, but his words had frozen you in place momentarily. It had been a long time since he had spoken to you like this. You were used to the Seungcheol that had greeted you the day prior. You were used to fake pleasantries and brief moments of time when you wished that it could be a real relationship between the two of youâbut this was real.Â
âThatâs not fair.â Shaking your head, your voice quiet at first, you push your hands off the desk and manage to follow behind Seungcheol, speaking louder this time. âThatâs not fucking fair, Seungcheol! You donât get toââÂ
âFuck off. No, seriously, Y/N. Fuck you!â Seungcheol could see how you recoiled at his words; deep down he knew that you were right; he wasnât being fair, but all he could truly see was red, and all he could feel right now was pain. âYou didnât do anything to help him. You didnât even give a shit when he got sick. You didnât come home or even call! Itâs not about what heâsâfuck!â Punching the wall next to him, Seungcheol closes his eyes to keep back his tears even as he hears you yelp in surprise before he continues. âYou werenât even fucking here when he died, Y/N. You are that goddamn selfish, and you still get everything you want.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you blink through your tears as you bite on your lips, listening to Seungcheol even though you want to scream at him and tell him to stop. Even though there was truth to what he was saying, there was so much more that he didnât know or understand. Taking a step closer to him, you hold your cardigan tightly in your fist against your chest before gathering your courage to speak up. âPlesâCheol, please stop. I didnât ask for this. I didnât tell him to write it out like that. Itâs not like I didnât want to be here when heââÂ
Not letting you finish what you were going to say once again, Seungcheol slaps the wall next to where his fist had made contact, watching you jump in place. âNo. You donât get to cry and give me that look, then expect me to just believe whatever bullshit comes out of your mouth.âÂ
Whining, you move closer to Seungcheol, getting frustrated when he turns his back to you, walking towards the kitchen, opening the cabinet to take out a new pack of cigarettes. âYou gotta be kidding me! Donât smoke, Cheol. You said you stopped. This isnât worth that.âÂ
Scoffing under his breath as he angrily pulls the plastic from around the outside of the cigarettes, Seungcheol rolls his eyes at you, barely giving you a second glance as he pulls open the patio door, his voice full of malice. âYeah? Well, fuck you, Y/N. Iâll do what I want. This is bullshitâŠâÂ
It had been over a year since Seungcheol had smoked a cigarette and he really hadnât had any intention of ever picking another one up, but then you had walked right back into his life and set it on fire so what was a little lung damage compared to that? He hated this part of his and your relationship. He was supposed to be your big brother, your protector. You were supposed to be his sweet little sister who looked to him for everything, and yet none of that was true for either of you.Â
Looking out over the fields and towards the smaller house just a stone's throw from the main house, Seungcheol sighs, letting out a deep breath of smoke from his lungs, watching Mingyu take up the rear as the rest of the ranch hands head in for the evening. How much had they heard? It wasnât like he had been subtle; hell, neither had you, but still, Seungcheol hated the idea that the boys might think differently of him because of this.Â
You felt like your heart was trying to beat out of your chest with every deep breath you took in an attempt to calm yourself down as you stood in front of the large window overlooking the back of the house. It had been a long time since anyone had made you feel as shitty as you did in that moment. Seungcheol had managed to tear you down completely when he was supposed to be the one protecting you. Still, you knew that this wasnât himânot really. He was angry and hurt, and you were the punching bag. You were just tired of being the punching bag.Â
Wiping the tears from your face, you look away when Mingyuâs eye catches yours as he follows behind the rest of the ranch hands. God, this was devastating. Not only had you had one of the most brutal fights with your brother in your entire life, but now you were crying like a baby for Mingyu to see. It shouldnât matter.Â
You didnât matter to him or anyone here. That was obvious. It didnât matter how much things had changed or what had been said between yourself and your father; you had never meant for any of this to happen. Would any of this be worth it if it lost you what you had left of your family in the end?Â
Mingyu was usually the first person to wake up on the ranch, and he was usually the last to head to bed. He never minded it, and there was usually something that needed to be done that someone had forgotten to do. Tonight wasnât the exception.Â
Sighing as he wraps the rope around his hand to his elbow, Mingyu rocks his head from left to right, trying to release some of the tension from his neck. It had been a long day, and not even the quiet peeps from the frogs in the creek nor the bright stars in the sky were keeping his mind from what he had heard earlier in the night.Â
âKnew Iâd find you hereâŠâÂ
The sudden sound of Seungcheolâs voice is almost enough to cause Mingyu to drop the rope from his grasp. Turning around from the barn door to look at the other man, he moves through the smaller mudroom entrance closer to the main house. âIâyeah, well.â Lifting the lead rope on his arm, Mingyu laughs under his breath before gesturing with his head down at the gear that Chan had forgotten to put up after riding out to check on the cattle further out on the property. âHe means well; he just gets lost in his head.âÂ
Picking up the bit and headstall that had been used, Seungcheol smiles, moving to put them away as he nods. âItâs alright. Iâlisten. I wanted to talk about earlier.âÂ
The night air was alright, a bit warm, but with Seungcheolâs words, Mingyu felt it get thick and muggy with his nerves. âOh? Earlier? Like the calves?âÂ
Seungcheol knew that Mingyu would pretend like he hadnât heard the argument, and while he appreciated the act of normalcy, he also didnât need that as much as he needed to talk to his friend. âNo, and you know it. Iâm sorry âbout all the yellinâ that you and the boys heard. Justâitâs just some shitâfuck... I know you arenât involved in this, but, Gyu, Iâm drowninâ.âÂ
Swallowing hard at Seungcheolâs words, his confession on how he feels, Mingyuâs lips turn down as he hears his best friendâs voice shake. Seungcheol had always been strong. He had been raised by a tough-as-nails man, and he was a mirror image, but right now he was more fragile than Mingyu had ever seen him. âHey, Cheol⊠Man, Iâm here. Iâll listen; donât matter if Iâm involved or not.âÂ
Mingyu watches as Seungcheol moves to lean against the workbench, his hands wringing together out of nerves as he tries to keep his emotions at bay. He had known Seungcheol long enough to know when he was holding back, and despite telling Mingyu that he needed help, he was still having a hard time going through with it. âJuâjust start from the beginninâ, maybe?âÂ
And so Seungcheol didâfrom the point when his father had first gotten sick to the argument that everyone had heard bits and pieces of. Though it was just from his side, Seungcheol felt like he was being fair and thorough, explaining how you had, in his eyes, abandoned him and your father to do something so meaningless. Lowering his head, Mingyu nods along, only offering small encouraging words to keep Seungcheol moving along with his words, but he never adds his own opinion, just an open mind and a friendly ear. Itâs only when things are quiet for a good minute that he sighs, lifting his hand to wipe at his mouth, trying to formulate his words in the right way and order.Â
âCan I play devilâs advocate and you not rip my head off?âÂ
Scoffing at Mingyuâs words, Seungcheol lifts his hands for him to continue, willing to hear anything. You werenât talking to him now, not that Seungcheol was sure he wanted to talk to you. There was just a lot of doors slamming and remembering what it was like when you were a teenager at home.Â
It was clear that Seungcheol wanted one thing, but Mingyu wasnât just his friend. There were friends who would tell you exactly what you wanted to hear and stroke your ego, and then there were the ones who would take a bullet for you. Those friends were there to stay and it didnât matter if they agreed with every single word you said or every thought in your headâthey were family.Â
âHear her out. Donât sound like you did much of that.â Hearing Seungcheol take a sharp breath out of anger, Mingyu tilts his head and lifts his own hands, showing he doesnât want to fight. âYou were both raised strong-willed. You and your dad wanted her back here; now sheâs here. Sheâs clearly smart as hell if she understand the words on that paperwork and I swear, CheolâŠâ Not meeting Seungcheolâs eyes this time, Mingyu scoffs under his breath into his words. âI just donât think sheâs here to fuck with you over this. Youâve whined for months⊠hell, years about wanting her home and sheâs here. Donât push her out the damn door on day two.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, Seungcheol looks away from Mingyu completely and towards the house through the open door, seeing the lights still on. You hadnât told him what you were doing, but you had slammed your bedroom door after seeing him in the hall about an hour ago, so he had figured you were going to bed. While he didnât agree with what Mingyu was saying, and you had pissed him off in more ways than one, Seungcheol also didnât want this to ruin what little relationship the two of you had left. âYeah, Iâshit, I know. Just fuckinâ sucks, man. She justâshe gets under my skin and just knowsââÂ
The look on Mingyuâs face was enough to get Seungcheol to take another breath and to stop himself from continuing. He was doing it again. He could feel the pressure rising in his chest and his fists were tight at his sides. âSorry. Sorry, I donât know why she pisses me off so much.â Laughing on a breath out, he shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. âNah, you know what, I do. Sheâs this perfect little princess who hasnât had to work a hard day in her goddamn life. Dad gave her whatever she wanted when he was here and heâs still doing it. Sheâs never respected him as much as I have.âÂ
âThatâs how you see it, Cheol.â Mingyu knew it was bold to speak up when Seungcheol looked like he wanted to put his fist through something and that something might end up being him, but he was spiraling again. âListen, your dad and I talked some when you werenât around, right? He talked a lot about you both. âBout how proud he was of both of yâall. Proud of you and proud of Y/N.âÂ
Mingyu waits for Seungcheolâs brows to soften before he continues, reaching over to pat his shoulder, a smile pulling at his lips. âSaid you were a hell of a good man, and you are. Knew youâd take care of this ranch. But he talked a lot âbout her too. âBout all the shit she was doing and how she was so smart and how he knew she didnât get it from him or some shit like that. Just sayinâ cut her some slack?âÂ
Swallowing hard, Seungcheol pushes his thumb against his palm as his brows knit together listening to what Mingyu has to say. He wasnât wrong. He had heard his father say much of the same, even if he didnât want to remember it. His father had gotten more sentimental near the end, talking about you and him moreâabout the good times, when you both were young. Heâd bring up childhood memories and then suddenly talk about your college graduation and how much pride he had that day. Seungcheol had that pride too. You looked like a million bucks walking across that stage with all those fancy honor cords draped around your neck.Â
âYeahâyeah, youâre right, Gyu. He wouldnât want me acting like this. Heâd be pissed off at me forââ Groaning under his breath, feeling pressure behind his eyes as his father floods his memories, Seungcheol can almost hear his voice in his head. Itâs almost too much and the tears sit right on the rims of his eyes as he leans his head back to stop them from falling. âHeâd hate that I made her cry so fuckinâ much today. IâIâll fix it.âÂ
Staring at your bedroom door, you bite at your thumbnail, dreading the idea of going out of the safety of your room and into the house where Seungcheol might be. You knew you were being childish, but you were still angry with him, and your head and chest hurt just remembering him screaming at you the day before. It wasnât like you blamed him completely. You had yelled back a few times, but nothing like he had. It was serious for him and you were just defending yourselfâSeungcheol had gone for blood and struck gold.Â
The house seemed quiet. Seungcheolâs door was open, his bed was made, but you could smell food drawing you closer towards the kitchen. Bracing yourself to see your brother, you wince then stop in your tracks when you see someone else at the stove, his back to you. âMingyu? Whâwhat are you doing in here?âÂ
Mingyu had hoped to have food done and ready for you to eat by the time you woke up, but you had beaten him to the punch. Letting out a soft, surprised sound under his breath, he glances at you over his shoulder, noticing how you wrap your cardigan around you a bit tighter. It was the same one you had on yesterdayâmust be your favorite. Turning his attention back to the pan in front of him, he sighs into his words, carefully turning the omelette, making sure he doesnât break the surface of the eggs. âUh, CheolâCheol went into town this morninâ, and he asked if I might make you somethinâ to eat. He wanted to make sure you had somethinâ more than coffee and a protein bar.âÂ
Scoffing under your breath, you move towards the island, pulling out one of the barstools and sitting with a huff. âLike he caresâŠâ The moment the words leave your lips, you feel bad for saying them. Mingyuâs brows knit together slightly and you shake your head, muttering an apology as you pick at your cardigan sleeve, seeing him move out of the corner of your eye.Â
âDonât gotta apologize to me. Hell, you ainât even gotta apologize to him. Truth is he knows he fucked up. We talked about it last night.â Taking a plate from the cabinet, Mingyu turns towards the island, giving you a once-over before he slides the omelette onto the plate and pushes it towards you. âEat up. You want coffee or juice. âFraid I donât know how to make your fancy coffee.âÂ
You canât stop the way your lips pull up at the corners when Mingyu turns back towards the stove, cracking a couple more eggs into the pan. The gentle sizzle makes you feel warmer, just like his voice, as you pick up the fork left next to your plate and examine the food in front of you. âJuice is fine, but what do you mean, you and Cheol talked about it last night? You two talked about ourââ Unsure how to phrase your next words, you stop short and furrow your brows, causing Mingyu to glance back at you and nod.Â
âYour squabble, yeah.â Leaving the spatula in the pan, Mingyu opens the fridge, taking out the pitcher of orange juice as he feels your eyes following him every step of the way. âKnow itâs not much my business, but I think Cheol was lookinâ for an outside perspective. He justâwell, you know how he is. He gets caught up on the bigger picture and doesnât stop to think about what heâs sayinâ and how it sounds.â Meeting your eyes as he tips the pitcher towards the glass in front of your plate, Mingyu watches how your lips turn down in a frown. He hates that look on your face. Youâre too damn pretty to be so sad and tense. All he can think about is how much he wants to fix it.Â
âAnd yet he couldnât say any of this to me himself.âÂ
Tilting his head once your glass is almost full of juice, Mingyu smirks a bit to himself and your words before turning back towards the stove and his eggs. âMy fault, I suppose. Told him to let you cool off. Figured you could use a moment without seeing each other after some of the shit I heard yaâll yelling back and forth at each other yesterday.âÂ
You watch as Mingyu cuts the stove off and picks up a fork, turning to lean against the countertop as he eats the eggs heâs cooked straight out of the pan. It was so different from what he had made you and how he had presented it to you. Shaking your head, you cut off another bite of your omelette, sighing as you chew, your eyes meeting Mingyuâs even as he gives you that stupidly attractive half smirk while eating his eggs. âYeah, whatever. Probably for the best, youâre right. I have so much to do today anyway and Iâd rather not fight with Seungcheol. Makes me feel sick to my stomach.âÂ
Mingyu nods, taking the last bite of his food before wiping his lips with the back of his hand. âMmhm, what all you gotta do? Anything me or the boys can help with to ease your mind?âÂ
Smiling, you shake your head, pushing around the last bits of your food as Mingyu works to clean up, splitting his attention with you and the task in front of him. He was almost too good to be true, but your brotherâs words echo in your mind. âLeave him alone; he isnât used to girls like you.â You clear your throat then swallow hard. âUh⊠Nope. Iâll be just fine on my own. What Iâm used to.â Pushing your plate towards Mingyu, you fake your smile this time and sigh into your words as you slide off the stool. âThanks for the breakfast, Mingyu.âÂ
Feeling the shift in your mood, Mingyu just nods, taking your plate as he watches you move back through the house towards your bedroom and hearing your door shut. Had he said something wrong? Did you not like the breakfast? You were an enigma that he just couldnât solve and it was driving him insane. One minute you were smiling, almost flirting with him and the next you were giving him the cold shoulder. âDonât make a lick of senseâŠâÂ
It was only 9am and Seungcheol was already exhausted from running the errands that Mingyu had given him. Sighing loudly, he moves through the living room, dropping the shopping bags on the couch before making his way into the kitchen, hearing Mingyu muttering to himself. âThe hell you mumblinâ to yourself about?â You werenât there and there wasnât any breakfast left; maybe you hadnât been up yet, or maybe you had already come and gone. Seungcheol hoped for the latter. Glancing back towards the hallway and your room, he furrows his brows and huffs out a breath before looking back towards Mingyu. âIsâdid Y/N eat somethinâ?âÂ
Tossing the towel he had been using to dry the dishes over his shoulder, Mingyu leans against the island and nods a few times, looking in the direction of your room. âNothinâ important. And she did. Made her an omelette. She ate most of it and said she had stuff to do. She wasnât much for talkinâ. Iâyou think sheâsâmaybe she just donât like me much?âÂ
Seungcheol knew that wasnât the case. If anything, you probably liked Mingyu too much, or at least you liked looking at him too much, but that wasnât any of his business. Shaking his head, he rolls his eyes and shrugs. âShe donât like much of nothinâ round here, Gyu. What Iâve been tellinâ you. Donât get attached. Iâm gonna smooth things over, but you know she ainât stayinâ anyhow. Sheâs got her job back east and sheâs too good for us and this place.âÂ
Maybe Seungcheol was right. Hell, Mingyu knew he was. You were way too good for him. You talked nice and used words he didnât understand. You drank fancy things and probably ate even better things. You had expensive clothes and bagsâyou didnât want some man covered in mud to cheapen your brand. âYeahâyeah, maybe youâre right. Iâmma get outside and get the boys started on shit. Yoller if you need me.âÂ
âItâs an inventory of assets and property, Seungcheol. Iâm not calling you or Daddy a liar. I donât know why youâd evenââ Sighing, you close your eyes, feeling your blood pressure rising as you tighten your hands around the iPad in your hands. Things had been going better. Seungcheol had apologized for being an asshole and you had done the same, but then you had started trying to check off one thing from your to-do list and he saw red.Â
âIâm not callinâ you a fuckinâ liar, Y/N! Why do you always jump to conclusions? Iâm just askinâ why you gotta go through all of his shit! ItâsâSis! I donât want anyone moving it around. Not even you! I ainât ready!âÂ
You could see the panic dripping off of your brother as he paced in the middle of your fatherâs office, his voice an octave higher than usual. The veins in his neck were visible and you could almost see his heartbeat through them with each step he took. All you had done was take the items from your fatherâs desk and organize them into piles so you could inventory them properly, and Seungcheol had begun to spiral.Â
âCheollie⊠You gotta calm down.â Reaching out to take his hand in yours, you feel him start to jerk away before he meets your eyes, seeing the compassion you have for him in your gaze. âPlease? Come on⊠I wonât move anything else. Iâll inventory it without touching it, I swear. But you gottaâCheollie, look at me.â When Seungcheolâs eyes dart away from you and back to the piles of papers and supplies on the floor, you hold your iPad under your arm and use your free hand to turn his face back towards you to keep his attention. âYou gotta trust me.âÂ
Seungcheol swallows hard, feeling his heartbeats in every inch of his body as the panic attack that had started to take over him begins to subside with your help. He watches you take a deep breath and mimics you, earning a smile from you at his effort. Anxiety had always been a difficult topic for Seungcheol, but the day that your mother had left was the day that he had experienced his first full-blown panic attack. There was little that could calm him downâmedicine, therapy, smoking. None of his vices helped as much as watching you take a deep breath and following along. That was why it hurt so much when you left him. You had taken away his safety net, though Seungcheol doubted you knew that.Â
âThere you go. Better?âÂ
Nodding, Seungcheol closes his eyes and leans against your palm, willing his tears back. He had missed you so much but he wasnât willing to tell you that or to beg you not to leave home again. He had spent so much time pushing you away in order to make it easier to live without you for his sake and for your fatherâs sake. Having you home now was a temptation of something Seungcheol knew he could never have. His family died with his father. You were temporary and in passing. A brief moment of comfort, but in this exact moment Seungcheol wished he hated you more because as you moved to hug him, his heart ached.Â
âGood. I love you, Cheollie, and Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to upset you.âÂ
Keeping you close so that you canât see the tears on his cheeks, Seungcheol sighs softly and shakes his head. âItâs alright, Squirt. I love you too. Iâm sorry I got so worked up. I gotta back off and let you get this shit done.âÂ
It had been a week since you had started going through the paperwork for your fatherâs estate. Most of the inventory of property had been completed within the main house and you had been able to speed your way through the smaller barns within a day. It was today that you found yourself standing in front of the main barn and one of the largest tasks on your list.Â
Sighing to yourself, you whine under your breath and wrinkle your nose at the smell of manure. You knew that inside of this barn there were several stalls where your fatherânow Seungcheolâkept horses. You remembered a time when you were younger when you loved coming to this particular barn and to your own horse, but those days were long gone.Â
Sidestepping a pile of manure, you grimace and push your sunglasses up your nose before pushing open one of the smaller doors to the barn, getting hit with a strong scent of hay and horse. You were thankful that this was your fatherâs ranch. This barn in particular was temperature controlled, so unlike the heat that was assaulting you outside, you feel relief even as chill bumps spread along your skin from the change in temperature.Â
Just like the inside of the house, not much had changed in the barn either. Seungcheol was afraid of change and you could see where things that your father had hung during your childhood remained to this day. If you were honest, there were things that could use updates, if anything repairs, but after the conversation the two of you had just days before, you werenât in any rush to have it again.Â
Mingyu had sent off the rest of the boys to do various things around the property. Jun was repairing a fence with Chan out by the road while Soonyoung was working with a stallion that had been delivered earlier in the morning. For him it had been a quiet day and that was rare. Seungcheol was taking care of things on the business side and that left normal chores for him. Mingyu never minded the mundane tasks. They gave him time to think and get lost in those thoughts. He hadnât noticed you were in the barn until he heard muttering to yourself, looking around and then down at your iPad in your hands. Clearly you didnât realize he was there; you were lost in your own thoughts.Â
For a few minutes, Mingyu just watched you with a small smile on his face. You were beautiful, and when you were concentrating, you got this cute little scowl on your face. Mingyu could remember your father doing the same thingâmuttering to himself and scowling; Seungcheol did it too. When the sound of the horse that Mingyu's brushing blows out its breath makes you look in his direction, he lowers his eyes and grins to himself. âDidnât wanna bother you. You looked awful interested in whatever it is youâre lookinâ at.âÂ
Heat spreads across your cheeks as you clear your throat, realizing you hadnât been alone in the barn. Mingyu had been so quiet. You had thought that everyone was gone, at least somewhere else on the ranch, but clearly you had been wrong. âSorry, I justâIâm working on stuff for the estate. Iâm not trying to be in your way.âÂ
âAinât in my way. Just cleaninâ stalls and takinâ care of the girls.â Glancing around the barn and then back to you, Mingyu smirks a bit to himself as he runs the brush along the side of the horse. âWhat sorta stuff you gotta do in here? If you donât mind me askinâ?âÂ
Laughing under your breath moving closer to Mingyu, you lift one hand to run your fingers along the horseâs forehead and down her muzzle as she nudges towards you. âUh, just like an inventory of the estate and the barns is part of it. I have to make, like, a basic outline for the bank and their attorneys so that they can sign off on it all.âÂ
Mingyu nods along, even if most of what youâre saying goes over his head. It wasnât so much that the words didnât make sense, but the reasoning behind it was beyond him. âUh huh, sure. Lotta red tape they are making you and Cheol jump through for something your dad already left yâall.âÂ
He wasnât wrong, but you were used to this. You had done this for others, so doing it for yourselfâfor your familyâwasnât anything new. âYeah, they like to, uhâwhen there is a certain amount of money or property involved, the bank likes to âhold on to itâ for as long as they can. Make sure their investment is passed to heirs properly.â Rolling your eyes, you scratch the horse's muzzle once more before meeting Mingyuâs eyes and shrugging. âNot that itâs even theirs now. They just like to pretend for a little bit. Iâll get all this to them by the end of the week, hopefully, and itâll be settled.âÂ
It was nice seeing you like this. You seemed more relaxed than the last time that Mingyu had seen you and you werenât actively avoiding him. Glancing around the barn with you, he grins to himself, stepping away from the horse and heading towards you with his cleaning supplies in hand. ââScuse me. I donât wanna get any of this mess on you. You need to take note of these too?âÂ
Stepping back out of Mingyuâs way, you shake your head at his antics as he leans his broom against the wall before leaning back into the stall to grab the rest of his stuff. âI meanâyeah, I have to take note of it all no matter how insignificant it might seem.âÂ
âWell, this here is a manure fork and thatâs a broomâŠâÂ
âI know what they are, Mingyu. Iâm not stupid.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you meet Mingyuâs eyes as he opens his mouth in surprise at your accusation. Lifting his hands, he laughs and shakes his head before reaching back in the stall one more time for his bucket of brushes. âHey now⊠I never said that. Donât be puttinâ words in my mouth, missy. I just figured you wouldnât know what they were based on how youâre a city gal and all. Iâm tryinâ to be helpful.âÂ
Before you even realize what look you are giving him, Mingyu laughs again seeing the contempt in your eyes. âWhat? Why you lookinâ at me like that? Like I kicked your puppy. You ainât even got one, do ya?âÂ
âNo⊠But you are digging yourself a hole, Kim Mingyu. Are you forgetting that I literally grew up here?â Gesturing to the ground you are standing on, you lift your brows, trying to get your point across. âOn this ranch. My daddy was your boss and now my brother. Who the hell do you think I am?âÂ
He knew you were trying to sound mad and that maybe he should back off, not get his fingers bit, but you were just too cute. âA damn spitfire is what you are. Hell, woman⊠Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to bring out the claws, but canât lie and say I didnât like it a little bit.â Winking at you as he moves into the next stall, Mingyu puts down the bucket and pats the horse's side as she stomps the ground clearly aggravated with the tension. âShh, everythingâs fine, Lucy. Thatâs a good girl.â
You were frustrated, but as you kept your eyes on Mingyu and listened to him with the horse, you felt yourself starting to calm down. Your blood had stopped boiling and you had to remind yourself that you were the one in the family who was better at controlling their emotions. âYouâre nicer to the horse than you are to me.âÂ
Having moved the rest of his supplies into the stall, Mingyu smirks at your accusation, lifting his head to meet your eyes for a moment before picking up the manure fork getting to work. âYeah? I donât think thatâs true. I think Iâm pretty nice in general. Donât you agree, Luce?â Feeling the horse knock into him, Mingyu glances up towards her and laughs under his breath. âDonât go takinâ her side just âcause sheâs pretty, now. Thought you was my girl?âÂ
You had to admit Mingyu was adorable as he talked to Lucy and worked. Leaning your arms on the stall door, you rest your chin on your arm and smile at the interaction, finding it and him endearing. âIâm pretty, but Lucy the horse is your girl?â Keeping your iPad in one hand, you reach out, letting Lucy nuzzle against your free hand as Mingyu stands to his full height with a laughing sigh.Â
âIs that judgment I hear in your voice, Miss Choi? Two things can be true at the same time.â Lifting his hand to gesture at you, Mingyu bites his bottom lip quickly, getting back to work, not seeing your reaction and how you have to look away from him, feeling your stomach tighten. The same thing had happened when he had praised the horse. He wasnât even praising you and yet you were affected by it.Â
âWell, it seems like âyour girlâ likes me.âÂ
That was something that Mingyu had already noticed. The horses were drawn to you, much like he was and everyone else around you that gave you a chance. You were magnetic. âYeah, sheâs a good judge of character. Seems like you might just be a country girl after all.âÂ
Scoffing, you tilt your head, seeing how Mingyu smiles up at you. Moving away from the door, you find a safe place for your iPad before making your way back over and into the stall. It had been a long time since you had tried to do any of thisâtaking care of a horse or cleaning up after oneâbut you werenât someone who backed down from a challenge. Carefully sliding your hand along Lucyâs shoulder to her flank, you put your hand out towards Mingyu, finding his brows raised for a moment before he finally puts one of the brushes in your hand.Â
âYouâI mean, go withâŠnever mind, you know what youâre doing, clearly.â Mingyu had wanted to help you, teach you how to use the brush, but the moment you had it in your hand, it was as if you had done this a thousand times. Thatâs when it dawned on Mingyu; you probably had. You had said it yourself; you were raised here. You probably had horses of your own at one point or another, and despite the way you looked, talked, or acted now, this was in your blood.Â
âYeah, Daddy taught me how to take care of horses when I asked for one of my own when I was little. He said Iâd need to know how to do this first. If I was going to be big enough to have one, I had to be big enough to take care of one.â Leaning your head back away from the dust coming from Lucy as you brush her, you think briefly about the clothes you are wearing and how they arenât made for this situation before shrugging to yourself and stepping closer to continue your task. Clothes could be washed. Nothing couldnât be replaced. âI used to love doing this. It was calming. Just me and Bella for an hour or soâŠâÂ
Bella. Smiling as he leans on the broom, almost forgetting what he is supposed to be doing, Mingyu has to force himself not to fixate on you for too long. He could get lost in you and what you were saying. He liked learning about you and more than just the lawyer version of you. There was stuff that was buried deeper that he wanted to pull out of you and learn about if youâd let him. âSo you used to ride? You still know how?âÂ
Shaking your head, you meet Mingyuâs eyes as he finally goes back to sweeping. You werenât sure anyone forgot how to ride a horse once they learned, but then again you had never really learned how; you were just put on a horse and took off. The same had been true about Seungcheol. Your dad had told you both that you were born to be on a ranch. As you got older, you grew to resent that statement, but when you were little, you remembered having so much pride over it as youâd lace your fingers into Bellaâs mane and ride through the fields. You had been so rebellious even then, choosing to ride bareback, hearing Seungcheol racing behind you, telling you that you were going to fall off, but you never did.Â
âOf course I do. I havenât in a really long time, but itâsâI donât think I could forget that.âÂ
There was something about how you spoke when you answered his question that made Mingyu curious and eager. Glancing towards the open window, he sighs under his breath and purses his lips. This was probably a bad idea, but life was full of decisions and Mingyu was tired of seeing his life pass by without taking any chancesâespecially when you were involved. âYoâyou wanna go for a ride with me?âÂ
Seungcheol had gotten back from town and the house was quiet. He figured that you were still working on estate paperwork somewhere on the property, but it was starting to get later in the afternoon. You were pushing yourself when it came to this and he knew it was his fault. He knew that you were trying to get as much done as quickly as possible so that he wouldnât be stressed out, and by doing that, you were stressing yourself out. Seungcheol felt horrible about that, but he still felt a sense of relief that you were going about things the way you were. Things had been left where they belonged for now.Â
Moving through the house towards the kitchen and the large doors leading towards the patio, Seungcheol stretches and yawns only for the sound to get caught in his throat at the sight in front of him. Furrowing his brows, he lowers his arms and moves out onto the large patio, following the two horses heading out from the barn towards the fence line. You and Mingyu.Â
Seungcheolâs first thought is how nice it is to see you riding again. It had been years since he had even seen you near a horse, let alone riding one, but this wasnât the way he wanted that to happen. You were out with Mingyu and that didnât sit well with Seungcheol. It could be innocent, but knowing you and knowing Mingyu, it wasnât. There was something too close about it all that made Seungcheolâs âbrotherâ instincts go on high alert.Â
He knew that he could easily get on one of the 4 wheelers and head out after the two of youâsee what you were up to and tell you to get your ass back to the house. He could saddle up his own horse and go about it that way⊠But instead, Seungcheol stuck his tongue against his cheek and scowled at the two of you heading towards the trees before turning back towards the house. Youâd have to come home at some point.Â
The ride with Mingyu was quiet for the most part. You enjoyed the peaceful, easy silence as the warm afternoon air gently moved past you. This was nice. There was no rush to be anywhere. No sounds of traffic or yelling like you had gotten used to in New York. It didnât matter where you were in the city; there were always sirens and cars honking horns. You could always hear someone screaming at someone else. Out here there were just the sounds of the birds, peep frogs starting to come out, and crickets chirping.Â
Mingyu liked happy on you. You had seemed so uptight since you had gotten to Montana. At first he thought that was just your personality but it quickly became apparent that that was how you had been living. He wasnât used to that. Out here you lived with nature, not against it. Nature was calm for the most part and it didnât rush you or expect you to do anything you couldnât. Now that you were finally giving in to that way of living again, Mingyu could almost see the stress starting to slide off of you.Â
âThereâs a creek up the hill. We can stop up there and let the girls get somethinâ to drink and take a rest.âÂ
Nodding along with Mingyuâs words, you glance over at him, adjusting the reins in your hand as he gestures with his head forward, clicking his tongue, getting his horse to move a bit quicker. You smile, doing the same, feeling Lucy pick up speed with ease, following behind Mingyu. You had offered to ride another horse, to leave âhis girlâ for him, but Mingyu insisted that you ride Lucy, saying she was the best of the girls. You had to admit he was on to something with that. She was the kind of horse that made you want to do this every day. âGood girl. Just a bit further.âÂ
Slowing down to a stop, Mingyu easily slides off his saddle before turning towards you, tilting his head, and lifting his hands up to help you.Â
âI can do itâŠâÂ
âYeah, I know, but I can help too.âÂ
He was incredibly frustrating and devastatingly handsome. Rolling your eyes, you swing your leg over the saddle and arch your back, slipping off and into Mingyuâs arms, taking a sharp breath when you realize you are face-to-face with him. âIââÂ
While this hadnât been Mingyuâs intention, having you this close and feeling your breath against his face wasnât something that he hated. Lowering you to the ground, Mingyu clears his throat, feeling his cheeks burn slightly, though he tries to cover the feeling with a half smirk. âSorryâŠâÂ
You heard his apology, but he didnât really seem sorry, and you werenât sure you wanted him to be. Furrowing your brows, you wait a moment to see if heâs going to step back. You feel Lucy move towards the creek, but when Mingyu doesnât move, you meet his eyes, feeling the tension growing thicker. You find yourself wishing he would just kiss you if heâs going to look at you like that, and as if reading your mind, Mingyu sighs your name, leaning down to press his lips to yours.Â
The moment seems to last forever. Your fingers bunch up his shirt against his stomach and Mingyuâs hands grip your hips firmly as his lips move over yours like heâs made for you. After a few minutes, you finally smile against his lips and lean your head back, feeling Mingyu chase your lips before he opens his eyes, searching yours for answers.Â
âWe shouldââ Licking your lips, you almost hate yourself for having to say what you know is true. You can feel the knots forming in your stomach as Mingyuâs thumbs trace the hint of your skin between your jeans and shirt. âWe should go back to the house. Itâs getting late.âÂ
Shaking his head, Mingyu glances up at the sky, noting where the sun is. It wasnât that late; he knew that the sun would start to set in an hour or so, but it wasnât anything to run from. You werenât running from the setting sun; you were running from him. Tightening his grip on you, Mingyu whines your name, feeling you slide your hands over his chest towards his shoulders to gently push him back from you.Â
âSeungcheol would be soâheâd be pissed if he knew this happened.âÂ
Mingyu knew you probably werenât wrong, but it still didnât make it any easier to hear and it also didnât make you pushing him away easier to handle. Reaching for your hand, Mingyu groans under his breath when you let him catch the end of your fingers on his. âIâI why? This ainât got nothinâ to do with him, Y/N.âÂ
Easing your fingers from Mingyu, you frown slightly and shake your head. âHe told me to leave you alone. Heâs already been so mad at me, Mingyu. Iâthis would just be one more thing heâd hate me for.âÂ
There was a lot for Mingyu to process and he did his best thinking while riding. Watching you in front of him, he moves his eyes along the back of your head and down your body before sighing to himself, thinking back on the kiss. It had been perfect. It wasnât like Mingyu had never dated anybody. Hell, he was a ladies man if you asked any of the other boys on the ranch, but lately he had been wanting more than just a bed for the night. The kiss with you had meant more than any of the one-night stands he had experienced in the past year and the kiss had lasted less than five minutes.Â
Helping you guide Lucy back into her stall, Mingyu searches your face as you praise the horse and thank her for letting you ride her and for the evening. You were a good person. So many people misjudged you without getting to know you. Mingyu had done it the first time he saw you and the others had done it without so much as talking to you for more than ten minutes. Your own brother judged you harshly, but now that Mingyu had taken the time to try to get to know you, he was seeing how sweet you were. He wanted to know you better and he wanted you in his life. He wanted that kiss back.Â
âThanks for taking me out there, Mingyu. It was fun.â You were almost free of the tension. You had felt Mingyuâs eyes on you from the moment that you had left the creek and headed back to the barn. You knew he wasnât happy with what you had told him, but that was being an adult. Things happened that you werenât going to enjoy and you had to suffer through not getting what you wanted. You had gotten used to that and good at accepting it.Â
With one hand on the barn door, you gasp, feeling an arm around your waist pulling you back suddenly. You can see the desperation in Mingyuâs eyes. He wasnât good at accepting things like you were and he made you want to be like himâto chase after what you wanted but that was dangerous. Whining his name, you shake your head as Mingyu gently pushes you against the wall, taking a step closer to you and leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. âWe canât do this. CheolââÂ
âI donât care, Y/N. I just care about you.â This time Mingyuâs kiss is more urgent and he hopes that it speaks in volumes that he isnât able to. He relishes in your little whines, your moans as he nips at your lips, feeling you arch your body against his. Itâs almost overwhelming and the entire thing has his body on fire. You make him want to throw you over his shoulder and find the closest soft surface so he can show you exactly how he feels, but thatâs too fast. You were too fucking important for him to act with his dick instead of his brain.Â
Even though your brain is screaming for you to stop this and that Seungcheol is going to kill youâyou canât stop kissing Mingyu. It feels too good. Not just the action of kissing him, but the way it makes your lips feel tingly and your legs like jello. The kiss also makes your stomach feel like itâs full of butterflies and your chest feels like it's going to explode with how hard your heart is beating. Youâve felt this before but never like this. You were falling for this man and that was terrifying and exciting.Â
Placing one last kiss on your lips, feeling you chase his lips this time, Mingyu grins gently, stroking your cheek with his calloused thumb as he looks down at you, seeing the hazy look in your eyes. That was how he wanted you to look all the time. You should always look like a woman who had been kissed stupid. If he had his way, heâd have you spoiled rotten and fucked dumb dailyâbut that was too fast. âSo fuckinâ beautiful. Iâll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, darlinâ.âÂ
You find yourself biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from moaning at Mingyuâs words and his seemingly innocent touches as he strokes your cheek and wrist before pulling away completely. You could get used to that. There was something to be said about a southern boy and how they could treat a woman, and yet it scared the hell out of you how much you wanted him as you watched Mingyu walk away. âGoodnight, GyuâŠâÂ
The smell of coffee drags you to the kitchen more than your will to move. You had forgotten how much of your muscles that riding a horse actually used. Grumbling a good morning to Seungcheol, you grab your favorite mug down from the cabinet and reach for the pot of coffee he is already nursing, not really feeling how his eyes follow you.Â
âYou look like shit.âÂ
Scoffing as you lean to open the fridge and take out your creamer, you glare in your brotherâs direction before shrugging. âYou say the nicest things to me, Cheol. Iâm so glad IâmââÂ
âHow was your ride? This is what happens when you donât do it for a decade⊠âCourse I wouldâa asked you to go on a ride with me earlier, but⊠I ainât Mingyu now, am I?â The look on your face was more than enough to tell Seungcheol all he needed to know. Your poker face had never been great and being caught off guard left you with no time to prepare your reaction.Â
âWhâitââ Shaking your head, you swallow hard, putting the creamer back in the fridge. Closing it, you let your hand linger on the door for a moment longer than necessary before turning back towards Seungcheol. âIt was fine. Not a huge deal.â You werenât going to let Seungcheol get the better of you when it came to this. He didnât know anything more than you had gone for a ride with Mingyu. That was innocent. Hell, you hadnât done anything wrong anyway. âWe can go for ride anytime youââÂ
âDonât start this, Y/N. I told you I didnât want you messinâ around with him.âÂ
Not only had Seungcheol cut you off mid-sentence but now he was lecturing you on your sex life once again. Scoffing after swallowing a sip of your coffee, you nod and furrow your brows, though the look on your face clearly shows how unamused you areâhow unseriously you are taking your brotherâs words. âOh, yes, sir. I remember.â Gesturing to your temple, you pout at Seungcheol, watching his eyes narrow at your attitude. âIngrained right in here, Dad.âÂ
âShut the fuck up. Donât be such a biââ Stopping short, Seungcheol shakes his head and runs his hand over his mouth when you press your tongue against your cheek. âI didnât mean that. Y/N, listen to me, alright? It wouldnât end well for either of you. So quit your shit before I quit it for you.âÂ
Your blood was boiling, but you didnât want to fight with Seungcheol today. You had done plenty of that over the past couple of weeks to last you for the rest of your life at this point. Shaking your head, you tip your cup over the sink pouring out the rest of your coffee as you hear him sigh your name under his breath. âFine, Cheol. I didnât do anything, and Iâm not gonna do anything. Just really fucking sucks you canât trust me, even just a little bit.âÂ
Your words change the look on Seungcheolâs face as he watches you move back around the island. As you start to move past him and out of the kitchen, Seungcheol frowns and reaches out to grab your wrist loosely, pulling you back towards him slightly. âHey⊠Iâm sorry. I trust you. I didnât mean to make you feel like that.âÂ
Guilt bites at you when you meet Seungcheolâs eyes. While you were hurt by his words, it didnât make lying to him feel any better. You knew that it wasnât the end of the world that you and Mingyu had kissed. It didnât have to happen again and no one had to know about it. âSure. Iâm alright, Cheollie. Iâm gonna get ready and work on more of the paperwork.âÂ
You hadnât lied to Seungcheol. While you were trying to get away from the conversation surrounding Mingyu, you did have more of the paperwork to attend to. There were still two buildings left on the property for you to look over and today it was the ranch handâs quarters. Now that you were inside said building, you were almost wishing that you could have that conversation again.Â
It wasnât hard to tell that some of the ranch hands werenât sure how to feel about you. There was one in particular, Chan, who couldnât seem to control his face no matter how many times you smiled at him. He didnât seem impressed by you and you were trying to work quickly and get out of everyoneâs hair but especially his. âUm, soââÂ
âThatâs my bunk. All that shit is mine.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you meet Chanâs eyes as another man, this one blonde and with much kinder eyes, whispers for him to shut up under his voice. You liked him better; his name was Soonyoung.Â
âNo, man. She said she needed to make note of things that belong to the ranch. Well, none of the shit on my bunk belongs to the ranch.âÂ
It had been a long time since you had felt this uncomfortable around people. Clearly they had heard something about you, and perhaps Seungcheol had shared his feelings about you when it came to the ranch in general. You couldnât blame themâblame Chanâfor being upset with you. âIâm not going to disturb your belongings, Chan. I honestly donât need anything in this roââÂ
âThen what the hell are youââÂ
ââCause itâs her goddamn property, Chan. The fuck you being so disrespectful for?â Hanging his hat on a hook next to the door, Mingyu furrows his brows tightly, feeling the tension in the house as he looks around at each person. Itâs only when his eyes land back on Chan that his nose flairs with displeasure. âAnd get your damn feet off the table. How many times do I gotta tell you this is a house and not the goddamn barn?âÂ
You could hear Mingyu and Chan arguing behind you, their volume a bit quieter as if trying to keep it from you as you turn your back to give them space. It wasnât as if you were that far away, but you could put up the guise as if you were actually focused on your task. Licking your lips, you look down at your iPad and glance around the room before moving towards the living space and jotting down a couple of notes, feeling eyes hot on your back.Â
Slapping the back of Chanâs head, Mingyuâs eyes burn as he glances towards you and mouths, âNow!â causing the younger man to recoil from his hand, afraid he will get hit again. âIâMiss Choi? Maâam⊠I apologize for being such an ass. Know it donât make up for it, butââÂ
You hadnât expected Chan to apologize to you; in fact, you didnât feel like you deserved one. You were invading their space. While, yes, this was your familyâs property, you didnât feel like there was much room for you to lay claim no matter what the paperwork had stated. Beyond that, you felt that the ranch handâs quarters were theirs; if it hadnât been for the inventory you were required to make, you wouldnât have ever bothered them. Shaking your head, you offer Chan another soft smile before meeting Mingyuâs eyes, watching his hand slowly relax on the other manâs shoulder. âItâs not a problem. Iâm alright. Iâll be out of your hair in just a couple of minutes. If anyone should be apologizing, itâs me.âÂ
Mingyuâs stomach was in knots as he watched you finish your list. You seemed different today. You seemed meeker than you had the day before. You had avoided his eyes a few times already and declined anything to drink or eat even as he cooked for the rest of the boys. âI make more than enough for you and Seungcheol.âÂ
âAnd while Iâm sure thatâs true, Iâve bothered you all plenty. Have a good evening.â Tapping your nails against the door frame, you lower your head respectfully, feeling four sets of eyes lingering on you until you close the door behind you. It had been hard to breathe around Mingyu even with the buffer of all the other ranch hands, but finally you were able to take in a deep breath of fresh air.Â
âI admit it⊠Sheâs not a bitch.âÂ
Rolling his eyes at Chan, Jun sighs, leaning back in his chair, letting his eyes move over to Mingyu as he finishes up the stew he had decided to make. âFigured she wasnât; youâre just a dick, Chan. Mingyu likes her, so sheâs gotta be good people.â The way that Mingyu flinches at the accusation of him liking you tells Jun everything he needs to know.Â
âAnd sheâs fuckinâ gorgeous. I donât know how you could yell at her to begin with. Iâd rather get on my knees and beg for her to yell at me or somethinâ.âÂ
Soonyoung, more often than not, thought with his dick more than his brain, but rarely did it get him in too much trouble. This time, however, it caused Mingyuâs shoulders to square and for him to toss down the wooden spoon that he had been stirring the stew with. âDonât talk like that, ya got me? Finish the food, ya fuckinâ selves. I got shit to do.âÂ
Watching Mingyu open the door and slam it shut, Soonyoung feels like he has whiplash. Jun is the only one who moves to the stove to take Mingyuâs place and heâs the only one who smiles.Â
âIâthe fuck was that about? I didnât do anythinâ wrong did I? Heâs said worse âbout women beforeâŠâÂ
Adjusting the heat on the stove, Jun shakes his head and chuckles under his breath. âYou are just clueless. Ainât your fault that your brain donât work fast enough sometimes.â Bringing the spoon to his lips, Jun nods approvingly of the taste of the stew before reaching up to the cabinet to bring down three bowls as he tries to explain the situation in a way that Soonyoung and Chan will understand. âMingyu likes her. Chan was being a dick so that pissed him off and then you had the balls to sayââÂ
âAh, fuck! Why didnât he just say he liked her? I wouldnâta said nothinâ âbout her like thatâleast not in front of him! You think heâs gonna kick my ass?âÂ
That was something Jun didnât have the answer to, so instead he just gave Soonyoung a pity pat on the shoulder as he handed him a bowl of Mingyuâs stew.Â
Mingyu had hoped that you would still be outside when he left, but instead of finding you waiting for him, he only saw the sky beginning to change colors as the sun started to get lower on the horizon. He knew that you had been working on your list again all day; you had gone from spot to spot on the ranch so maybe you were heading back towards the main house.Â
Jogging to catch up with you, Mingyu calls your name in such a pleading tone that it almost wills you to stop and wait on him. When he does finally catch up with you, he leans over, resting his hands on his thighs, taking a deep breath. âFuck⊠I donât run like I usedâta.âÂ
You knew you should keep goingâtell him that you needed to get something done so you didnât have time to talk. But, as you watched Mingyu, his brows lifting as he smiled at you still catching his breath, you couldnât make your feet move. âYou saying youâre out of shape, Kim Mingyu?âÂ
Licking his lips, feeling the drier air starting to dry them out, Mingyu squints at you before standing up. âNo. I work out. Hell, woman⊠you know I throw hay almost every damn day. Shit⊠are you out of shape? I shouldââ You were laughing at him. Mingyu wasnât sure what he should feel, but what washed over him was fondness as your cheeks filled up slightly with your smile. God, you were so pretty it hurt his heart. It had hurt him to say goodnight to you and it hurt him to just look at you now and not kiss you. âIâI wanted to see if you wanted to meet me later.âÂ
Your smile fading, you lower your eyes and scrunch your nose, trying to think how to answer Mingyuâs question. There was how you wanted to answer it and how you knew you should answer it. âHmm⊠I canât. Cheolâuh, Cheol, he knows we went on the ride yesterday. He was pretty mad about it, so itâd be a bad idea.âÂ
Itâs so clear to Mingyu that what you are saying and what you want arenât one and the same. Sighing under his breath, Mingyu glances around before reaching for your hand, hearing you whisper his name, but you donât pull back from him. âWhat? Ainât allowed to hold your hand?âÂ
Now he was being willfully ignorant. Glancing towards the house, you whine under your breath. Even though it's a decent distance away from you and Mingyu, you know that if Seungcheol came looking for you, heâd see you both clearly from the windows or the patio. So instead of standing in the middle of the dirt path that leads back from the barns and the ranch hand quarters, you turn towards the barn, bringing Mingyu with you.Â
Once you are more hidden by the large barn, you meet Mingyuâs eyes and work your fingers from his, feeling him cling to you, a whine slipping from his lips. âI already told you. Cheol, heââÂ
âHe what? He ainât here right now, Y/N.â When you look away from him, Mingyu reaches up to gently turn your face towards him, feeling you take a step back towards the barn. With each step back, he takes a step forward until your back is against the door and he is inches from you. âI like you.âÂ
âNo, you donât.â Your rebuttal on Mingyuâs confession leaves your mouth so quick that you watch his eyes search for meaning in yours before he laughs, causing you to knock your head back against the wooden door. âYou like the idea of me. I donât want to fuck up your life and your friendship with my brother.âÂ
Sliding his hand along the inside of your forearm, Mingyu shakes his head and furrows his brows. If you had been any other woman, he might have let it go, not chased so hard, but there was something about you that had him whipped. He had kissed you twice and already he was struggling to breathe, wanting another one. âFirst of all, you donât get to say who I like and who I donât. I donât just like some idea of you. Thatâs some philosophy bullshit and I donât believe in it.â Watching you roll your eyes at him, Mingyu grins, stepping one step closer so that his knee rests against your inner thigh. âSecond, you ainât fuckinâ up a damn thing, darlinâ. Iâif you donât want him to know, he ainât gotta know. Just donât run from me.âÂ
Darlinâ. Closing your eyes to the pet name, you curse your body for how it betrays you. Everything that Mingyu was doing was right. His hand on your skin had chill bumps erupting under his touch. His knee on your thigh had you almost willing to settle on his leg, but worst of all it was that fucking pet name. You wanted to run, but right now you wanted to run to him and not away. âHeâll hate meââÂ
âNah, he wonât. Donât talk âbout him anymore.â Brushing his fingers up your arm, Mingyu tilts his head as he takes your bag from your shoulder, putting it on the ground and meets your eyes, really looking at you this close. You were breaking his damn heart by just existing. How had he lived 27 years without you in his life? Sliding his hand along your hip, Mingyu grunts when you gasp his name and itâs like a siren call pulling his lips to yours.Â
The kiss is heated, but not rushed. Mingyu didnât wanna rush a damn thing with you and yet he didnât want to let you go either, so when you cling to his shirt and your knees start to buckle, he does whatâs best. Hands slide under your ass to the back of your thighs as Mingyu lets you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling your fingers thread into the back of his hair. This was heaven. The sun was warm as it set on his back and you were a dream come true.Â
You were warm in his arms. Your lips were soft, and your moans were going straight to his cock as he tried to keep himself from getting hard in vain. It really wasnât possible, especially with how good it felt to be between your legs even like this. Rocking his hips against yours, Mingyu furrows his brows and grunts into the kiss when you nip at his bottom lip, enjoying the feeling of him against you.Â
âFuckâŠâ Mingyu couldnât remember the last time he had done something like this. High school maybe? College? The backseat of some car where he could barely move enough to drag his clothed cock between some girlâs legs. You were different. This was different. Mingyu felt desperate. He was practically rutting his hips to meet the way you were rolling yours down over him as you kissed the life out of him. He was so close, right on that edge when you whimpered his name and leaned your head back away from him.Â
âThisâthis isâwe canât do this right now.â You didnât even believe the words you were saying. You didnât want to say them. You could feel your panties sticking to your folds uncomfortably as Mingyu took shallow breaths against your jaw. âIâm sorryââÂ
âNo, hey, no apologizing to me. Nuh-uh, darlinâ.â Taking your chin between his forefinger and thumb, Mingyu tilts your head back towards him so he can place a sweet kiss on your lips before he helps you stand on your own and leans to pick up your bag for you.Â
Though Mingyu was saying one thing, your anxiety was telling you another. Adjusting the strap of your bag over your shoulder, you furrow your brows as Mingyu adjusts his jeans and smiles at you sweetly.Â
âGo on now, beautiful. Iâll see you tomorrow, right?âÂ
This was the furthest you had traveled from the main house and the last of the property that would need to be inventoried. From what you remembered about the old farmhouse on the edge of the property, it was falling apartâone swift wind from being knocked over, as your father had always put itâbut standing in front of it now, you were stunned. The once derelict house was very much standing and it was clear that someone had been working on repairing it for some time now.Â
Moving up the steps, you run your fingers over the stair railing. The wood is smooth, as if a lot of care had gone into sanding it down to perfection. Climbing the few stairs up to the porch, you listen carefully for anyone inside the house before knocking lightly, feeling it push forward. âOh⊠Um, hello? Is there anyone here?âÂ
You are met with silence as you step inside of the house. Your eyes search for anyone else, a clue as to who might be fixing up the house, but instead you find yourself overwhelmed with how beautiful the inside already is. When you and Seungcheol had been younger, you would sneak out to this house and run through the halls as your brother would jump over broken furniture and holes in the floorâthis wasnât the same house.Â
Wiping his hands off on his jeans, Mingyu furrows his brows at what sounds like someoneâs voice. Taking the earbud out of his ear, he licks his lips and puts the pencil in his other hand behind his ear before heading towards the stairs. It was rare that he got evenings like this. Working on a ranch was hard. It was sunrise to sundown almost every day, but for a ranch foreman, it felt like he worked 24/7. When he did get a few hours to himself, Mingyu was always hereâworking on the house, rebuilding it from the ground up, making it his.Â
No one really came this far out on the property. That was one of the reasons Mingyu loved it so much. The ranch was quiet in its own way, but out here, this was peace. So seeing you wandering through the living room not only confused him but also brought a smile to his face as well. While Mingyu didnât mind guests, he preferred to be alone in times like thisâbut you were becoming an exception.Â
âY/N?âÂ
Hearing your name, you jump, having not expected to hear anything after the few minutes of welcomed silence. With your hand on your chest over your heart, you turn to meet Mingyu, seeing the surprise in his eyes as well as the smile on his face. âHi. Iâuh, hi. Why areâwhat are you doing all the way out here?âÂ
You were devastatingly beautiful and the way the words slipped off your tongue, even while you were flustered, caused Mingyu to chuckle under his breath as he moved into the room with you glancing around. âWell, Iâdarlinâ, I live here. What are you doinâ all the way out here?âÂ
Shaking your head, you look around quickly again, ashamed that you hadnât realized that someone was living in the house. Of course you had noticed that someone was remodelling it, but looking closer, you could see little signs of life among the slight chaos. âOh! I didnât know. Iâm sorry, Mingyu. I shouldnât have just walked inside likeââÂ
While you spiraled, Mingyu just smiled fondly and moved closer to you until he could slide his hands over yours, pulling you closer to him. ââCourse you should. How were you supposed to know? Not like weâve talked about where I live anyhow.âÂ
Feeling your cheeks heat up as Mingyu presses his thumbs into your palms in small circles, you tilt your head trying to feign confidence. âIâwell, no, we didnât. But, I didnât expect here. This house has been falling down for years. God, for decades.âÂ
âI know. I like a project. âSides, your dad gave it to me and told me to take care of it. What I aim to do. Think Iâm doinâ an alright job.â Swinging your hands along with his at your hips, Mingyu smiles as he looks around the room, pleased with his progress. There was still a ways to go but for doing it mostly on his own, he had come far in a short amount of time. âYou wanna see the rest of the house?âÂ
Mingyuâs enthusiasm about something he cared aboutâsomething he lovedâwas infectious. You find yourself matching his smile as he laces his fingers with yours when you nod, agreeing to the tour. âAs long as itâs safe. Last time I was here with Cheol he broke his arm on the stairs trying to help me when I fell through themâŠâÂ
Shock is evident on Mingyuâs face as he leads you out of the room only to stop, opening his mouth and closing it once before taking a deep breath. âAinât nobody fallinâ through the stairs anymore. I repaired them and the floor. That was the first thing I did besides replacing the rotten wood in the support underneath the house.â Gesturing forward, Mingyu squeezes your hand tighter as if not willing to let you go as he leads you through to the dining room. âReplaced all the windows on both floors and what hardwood I was able to salvage, I did. Itâs a pity to get rid of all the original floors if I donât gotta.âÂ
Letting Mingyu lead you through a few other rooms, you donât realize how much you are smiling until he shows you the staircase and you meet his eyes. âLooks a hundred thousand times safer than it did. You put so much work into this, GyuâŠâÂ
His name shortened on your lips is almost as nice as hearing you call him a pet name. Mingyuâs neck, cheeks, and ears heat up, a slight tinge of red at the tips of his ears as he stutters through his words and helps you up the stairs by moving his hand from yours to your lower back. âIâwell, yeah! I juâjust wanna put my heart into whatever I do. No reason to half ass the place youâre gonna call home.â Gesturing with his free hand to the right, Mingyu lowers his head with another shy smile when you practically coo at him and his words. âStop it⊠JusâI ainât done much to the two bedrooms on this side, but the master bedroom is âbout done and I finished the bathroom.âÂ
God, you want to kiss him. Itâs dangerous how much you are falling for this man as he scratches the back of his neck and smiles at you like you are holding the sun in your hands. He reminds you of the stability that you knew you had with your dad and with Seungcheol. The stability you ran away from when it got smotheringâthe stability you long for but donât feel like you deserve. Heâs perfect and itâs terrifying.Â
Humming under your breath, you step away from Mingyu and move into the master bedroom, looking around with an approving nod before moving into the bathroom taking a deep breath. It was more than the fact that it was beautiful, every piece of furniture planned out perfectly; it was that everywhere Mingyu surrounded you. In the bathroom his body wash and cologne overwhelmed your senses, causing your knees to feel weak. In the bedroom the sense of comfort made you want to beg to stayâand yet you didnât. Begging to stay would be admitting how much you were falling in love with him. âItâs so nice, Gyu. I, uhâI was supposed to do the inventory thing here, but honestly none of this belongs to the ranch anymore soââÂ
Watching you gesture around the room as if you are talking about the entire house, Mingyu nods along with you even as his brows furrow. He could tell that something was bothering you. It didnât matter what words were coming out of your mouth; they didnât quite match the way you were saying them. They didnât line up with how you were acting. âOh, right. Iâuh, I mean, technically the house is still yâallâs. I mean, yeah, your dad verbally said it was minââÂ
âThen itâs yours. Iâm not taking that from you or him. Daddy never did anything without a reason. You wereâyou are important. This is yours. Iâll make sure thatâs solidified in the paperwork, alright?â Sliding your fingers over Mingyuâs wrist, you feel your breath get caught in your throat when he whispers your name and holds your fingers in his. âI should get back. Cheol will start wondering where I am.âÂ
You werenât wrong, but Mingyu wished he could convince you to stay. Here felt safe with you. There wasnât any expectations and all Mingyu wanted to do was to hold you and tell you how much he was falling in love with you. Lacing his fingers with yours once more, Mingyu nods his head towards the hallway as he clears his throat. âUh, yeah, then I can walk you out. Youâuh, you want me to walk you back up to the house?âÂ
Staying at Mingyuâs side, the sadness in his voice makes your heart beat quicker as you both start down the stairs. You start to tell him no, that you can make it back home just fine on your own, but you make the mistake of meeting his eyes. âMingyuâŠâÂ
You donât mean to whine his name the way you do. Itâs almost pitiful how upset you soundâhow needy you sound, causing him to stop in his tracks to catch his breath. Thereâs no more time for overthinking. Mingyu just reacts almost instantly, turning back up the stairs pulling you towards him, feeling your legs wrap around his waist.Â
Lying over you on the bed, Mingyu slides his hand along your side, feeling your teeth catch his bottom lip. It feels like a fever dream having you here on his bed. Itâs what he wants for the rest of his lifeâyour hands tracing his shoulders, arms, and back as you whine his name so breathlessly. âIâll give you everything, darlinâ...âÂ
The promise laced in Mingyuâs words simultaneously breaks your heart and excites you. Tears threaten to spill over the rims of your eyes as you lean your head back against the bed, feeling his lips brushing over your skin, leaving chillbumps as a reminder of where he has been. It feels so unfair to want someone and something so badly when you know itâs unattainable. You know you should run awayâspare yourself and especially Mingyu the pain of what would come after this, but selfishness takes hold of you. Â
Pushing your shirt up your torso, Mingyu groans under his breath at the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He could feel your pretty eyes on him and he had a point to prove. No one could love you like him. No one would ever make you feel this way again, not if he had anything to say about it.Â
Every kiss earns him a sweet moan from you and urges Mingyu to move quicker. Soon your shirt is discarded on the floor along with his while his fingers carefully work open the clasp of your jeans. âYou are so pretty. So damn perfect.â Mingyu knew he was whining; it was almost painful to speak instead of kissing you, but you needed to know how he felt. âI got you, baby.âÂ
Holding tightly to the comforter, you lift your hips and muffle your moan behind your bitten lips when Mingyu keeps muttering his soft praises against your skin. Tears were fresh on your cheeks and you wanted to hate him for making you want this, but even you couldnât lie to yourself that well. You were upset because this was love. You loved feeling Mingyuâs hands and lips on you. He was like the sun, keeping you impossibly warm as you tried to cling to the winter frost in your heart. âMingyuââÂ
âYeah, baby?â Meeting your eyes as he kisses his way back up your legs, Mingyu smiles against your skin and hums happily when you smile back at him. âIâm gonna love the hell outta you if youâll let me. Lift your hips again for me.âÂ
Lifting from the bed once more as Mingyu slides your panties from your hips and down your legs, you swallow hard at the way his words make you feel. He hadnât said he loved you but it was close enough. It was keeping you in his bed, letting you hold on to this dream for a little bit longer. âNow, youâŠâÂ
âI was gonna⊠Iâm just lookinâ at you.â Dropping the last of your clothes onto the floor, Mingyu shakes his head and runs his hand over his lips to keep himself from groaning as his cock throbs in his pants. When you whine his name again in an attempt to keep him focused, he grins before moving to his feet, finally doing what you want.Â
You watch as Mingyu quickly undoes his jeans and pushes them down with his boxers before kicking them from his feet. âIââ Laughing as your words get caught in your throat, you find Mingyu tilts his head at you, his brows furrowed as he moves back towards you and the bed. âJustâI expected you to be a little sexier about it.âÂ
âAinât got patience to be sexy âbout takinâ off my pants right now when I got you on my bed. Hell, woman⊠we should be happy I even got them off without fallinâ.â Gesturing towards you before sliding his hands along your legs, silencing your laugh when you bite at your lips, enjoying his touch. âHave you seen yourself? Hm? Like this, I mean? Iâll never get tired of it.âÂ
A moan slips from your lips and Mingyu captures it with his own immediately when his thumb brushes over your nipple, feeling it harden instantly. Speaking on your lips, he smiles between kisses, his fingers moving almost torturously slow over your breast, enjoying how soft you are. âNo? Then one day I should put you in front of a mirror while I make love to you. Let you see what I see for a bit.âÂ
Before you are able to speak or argue with him, Mingyu silences you with a kiss that takes your breath away. Arching your back from the bed, you scratch lightly at Mingyuâs shoulder, rolling your hips down over his thigh, begging in your own way for him to do something, anything, before you combust.Â
While Mingyu seemed confident and focused on the surface, each time your hips rocked over his thigh, he was losing his mind. You were so wet and soft. Mingyu wasnât sure if you even knew what you were doing to him with your sweet little moans and whines. He knew that you wanted more and he was struggling to not move too quickly and regret it later. This mattered to him; it had to matter more than some quick hookup. That wasnât what this was to Mingyu. That wasnât what you were to him. He was holding forever in his arms if youâd let him. âShh, baby⊠I got you. I promiseâŠâÂ
More promises and yet this time you werenât letting yourself be afraid. Your mind was racing as Mingyuâs lips once again moved lower. He took his time trying to kiss every mole and scar from your neck to your chest, but it was when he reached your stomach that you couldnât stop yourself from squirming under him. âAhâGyu! Youâre driving me crazy. Please? Please do something!âÂ
You didnât have to wait long to get what you wanted when Mingyu smiled against your hip and traced the line of your thigh to your knee, helping you put your leg over his shoulder. âImpatientâŠâ Mingyu hears the complaint on your lips just as he hears it get lost in your moan when he traces your wet folds with his warm tongue. He had known you were going to taste good. There was no way you wouldnât, but what he hadnât expected was how addicted he would feel after just one taste.Â
Furrowing his brows, Mingyu groans your name and wraps his arm around your hip, pulling you down in the bed towards him so you are closer to his mouth. He would do this every day and night if youâd let him. Heâd be your alarm clock, gently waking you up with his lips wrapped around your clit so he could feel your fingers tug at his hair. He would happily help you settle down for the night by doing the same thing only to feel you cum on his tongue as your heel dug into his back and you whined his name like a prayer.Â
âSo good⊠Oh, fuck! Please⊠Please donât stop.â It seemed that you didnât even need to ask that of Mingyu. He was determined and talented with his mouth. You felt him all over your body with how quickly he was pushing you over the edge. He was racing through your blood and in your lungs with every deep breath that you struggled to take. Crying out his name once more, you tighten your thighs around his head and fall back on the bed feeling boneless.Â
If Mingyu hadnât had more restraint, he would have cum right when your thighs closed around his head. You were trembling under him all while whispering his name. This was heaven. You were heaven and his goddess. Mingyu had never been a religious man, but in this bed you had made him a believer.Â
Licking his lips, Mingyu glances up from between your legs to watch you come down from your high. That was better than any sunrise or sunset he had ever seen. Your lips were parted softly as you took deep breaths, causing your soft breasts to rise and fall, enticing him up the bed.Â
âYou are so fuckinâ beautiful. I canât stand itâŠâ Mingyuâs voice was soft but you could still hear the way he was having to restrain himself laced in it. Strong and calloused fingers move along your body as he moves up in the bed to lay over you, his lips brushing over yours carefully. âWanna be inside of you so bad.âÂ
âThen what are you waiting for?âÂ
Smiling into the kiss, Mingyu pulls back just enough to nudge his nose against yours before he sighs. âYou sure? We donât gottaââÂ
âKim Mingyu, if you donât put your fucking cock inââÂ
âWoah, alright. Hell fire⊠Iâm just tryinâ to be a gentleman.â Muttering under his breath, Mingyu smiles even as he complains about your dirty mouth and how he needs to clean it up. Just when you start to tell him that you donât need him to do anything more than fuck you, the words get caught in your throat. With one hand holding your knee to his hip, Mingyu uses his other to carefully line himself up with your needy entrance before very slowly easing his cock into you.Â
The stretch is intense. You find yourself wishing you had asked him to use his fingers first, but soon the painful stretch becomes a welcomed one. Gasping for a deep breath, you throw your head back against the bed, feeling Mingyuâs eyes on you as you get overwhelmed with the feeling of being full. âShit. Oh, my god, Gyu⊠Move.âÂ
Mingyu had managed to get most of his cock in you, but you were clenching around him like a vice. You had him gritting his teeth and digging his nails into the meatiest part of your thigh when you finally asked him to move. He was thanking god or whoever was listening that you had let him move when you did, he wasnât going to last long. You felt too good. You were warm, soft, and wet. Every thrust he got deeper, you were able to take more of his cock and it was driving Mingyu insane. âFuck, baby. You are so good. Holy shit⊠youâre made for me.â Groaning against your jaw, Mingyu thrusts deep and hard, hearing you moan loudly, matching how he felt. âMade for my cock, huh? Never leaving my bed.âÂ
You were seeing stars with every hard thrust. Mingyu was by far the biggest man you had been with in more ways than one and your body was not only adjusting to it, but learning to crave it. You find yourself trying to imagine being in bed with someone else, wanting to separate yourself from the moment and knowing that Mingyu is the one making you feel this good, but you are reminded by his words that itâs only him. There is no one else and even you know there will be no one else. No one had ever made you feel like this. You were floating. There were no bones in your body. There was just you and Mingyu. No thoughts. No today or tomorrow. Just you and Mingyu.Â
âI can tell youâre close.â Muttering against the shell of your ear, Mingyu groans, feeling you clench around him tighter. There was no way you werenât going to cum for him. He could almost feel your orgasm rolling through you as he rocked his hips to meet yours, hearing you sob his name. âCum for me, baby.â Burying his face against your shoulder, Mingyu bites down and furrows his brows tightly when you do fall over that edge. Your orgasm is so intense that it takes everything in him not to cum right then. He has to force himself to wait a moment longer so he can ease himself out of you; only then does he paint your thighs and lower stomach with his cum.Â
Feeling suddenly empty, you pout, keeping your eyes closed even as Mingyu tries to catch his breath beside you. As if he can sense your sadness, the loneliness creeping into you, Mingyu kisses your shoulder, and his fingers trace your lips. Instead of sadness, you get overwhelmed with anxiety and worry, turning to meet his eyes and seeing only love in his.Â
âI loââÂ
âI should head back home, Gyu.âÂ
Swallowing his words, Mingyu tries not to let your sudden shift in mood scare him, but it's impossible. He had wanted to tell you something, but clearly you werenât ready to hear it. He didnât want you to leave, but looking in the direction of the window with you, Mingyu just sighs as you move to sit up beside him.Â
âItâs gonna get dark soon and Cheolââ Shaking your head, you feel your heart beat quicker as the panic really starts to set in. Even when Mingyuâs fingers wrap around your wrist trying to get you to calm down, to not rush off, you pull your arm away and slide off the bed to gather your clothes, obviously shaking. âCheol might come looking for me. That would be really fucking bad for both of us.âÂ
The idea of Seungcheol coming to look for you here didnât scare Mingyu. Heâd tell your brother exactly how he felt about you. He didnât understand why you were so scared of this or why Seungcheol would be so mad about it, but the fear in your voice made Mingyu sit up and help you finish getting dressed before he did the same.Â
Walking hand in hand with you to the door, Mingyu swallows hard when you finally pull your hand from his. There is so much he wants to say to you, but the look on your face tells him that you arenât ready to hear it. Instead of speaking, Mingyu just smiles sadly and reaches up to brush his thumb over your cheek, happy when you donât pull away. âIâll see you later, Y/N.â
Tears bite at your eyes the entire walk home. You fight them and the pain in your chest until you are inside your house and meet an annoyed Seungcheol sitting at the kitchen island.Â
âWhere the hell have you been? I tried callinâ you. I was worried âbout you, Y/N. I was fixinâ to have the boys get with me and start lookinâ...âÂ
Thinking on your feet, you force a smile and a laugh, rolling your eyes as you take out your iPad and gesture to it. âJust finishing up the last of the property list, Cheollie. You are so fucking dramatic. I guess my phone diedâŠâÂ
âDied? Howâhow the fuck do you let your phone die?âÂ
It was clear that Seungcheol wasnât buying your story completely, but you werenât going to fold. Taking your phone out of your purse, you show it to him and luckily for you, it hadnât been a lie. Trying to power the phone on, you are just met with a notice to charge your phone and an annoyed look on your brotherâs face. âSee⊠I must have forgotten to plug it up last night. Everyone makes mistakes, Seungcheol.â Showing him the iPad once more, you gesture towards the living room and sigh. âI have to finish up a few more things.âÂ
Following you out of the room, Seungcheol narrows his eyes and sighs. âYeah, yeah. Give me your phone. Iâll go plug it in. Seriously, donât do that shit again. I was freakinâ the hell out.âÂ
You had managed to sit down on the couch and put your purse on the floor before Seungcheol had made it to you. He was hovering and it was reminding you why you enjoyed your own space in the city. Giving him an annoyed look, you tilt your head and lean over to pick up your purse, not realizing your shirt has slipped down your shoulder until you offer Seungcheol your phone and feel his eyes burning a hole into your skin. âWhaâtake it. Why are yoââÂ
âYour phone died?â Watching you nod and try to offer you the phone again, Seungcheol looks from your face back to your shoulder and the hickey starting to form. He wasnât as fucking stupid as you clearly thought he was. âKim fuckinâ Mingyu.âÂ
Shocked to hear Mingyuâs name on your brotherâs lips, you sit up a bit straighter and watch as your brother wipes his hand over his lips, his eyes full of anger. Itâs then that you realize what he is looking at and use your phoneâs reflection to see what he is seeing. âIâno, Cheol. Itâs just a bruise.âÂ
âIâm so goddamn tired of your lying! Iâm gonna kill him.âÂ
You barely have time to react before Seungcheol has turned on his heels and is heading for the door. Rushing to your feet, you adjust your shirt and chase after him, calling his name in a panic, feeling your blood run cold.Â
The house was too quiet now. Mingyu had liked it before, but that was before you had been there and made him realize how alone he was. Sighing into his beer, Mingyu furrows his brows as he sits on the top step looking out over the field leading back towards the ranch and to you. He wished youâd come back; he could almost picture you running back towards him and back into his arms. Heâd explain how much he loved you and how he didnât want you to leave him again. Shaking his head, Mingyu takes a long drink of his beer and leans his head back only to furrow his brows, wondering if heâs hearing things when he does hear someone shout his name.Â
âKim Mingyu!â Seungcheol was seeing red and he was out for blood. He had tried to trust you and he thought he could trust his best friend, but clearly he had been an idiot for trying to do either of those things. Seeing the porch light in the distance, Seungcheol ignores your panicked whines of his name as you run behind him trying to keep up. All Seungcheol could see now was Mingyu moving to his feet in front of him.Â
âHey, Cheol?âÂ
That was all that Seungcheol let the man get out of his mouth before his fist made contact with it. He had never hit his best friend before, but then again, his best friend had never fucked his sister after being told to stay the hell away from her. Why could neither of you listen?Â
âChoi Seungcheol! Stop it!âÂ
Mingyuâs jaw was on fire; he could taste blood and he felt like he was seeing double as he shook his head and met Seungcheolâs eyes. He could hear you screaming Seungcheolâs name but all he could see was the manâs fury as he clenched his fist and swung again. This time Mingyu knew what was coming and moved quickly enough to not get hit. That only seemed to make Seungcheol more angry and more determined to fight.Â
âIâm gonna fuckinâ kill you, Mingyu! What did I tell you?!â Pointing his finger towards Mingyu, Seungcheol growls out his words before you grab his arm and try to pull it down in an attempt to stop your brother. This, just like Mingyu dodging his last punch, only makes Seungcheol more furious and causes him to push back against you hard, sending you to the ground with a painful thud.Â
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you, Seungcheol?â Now Mingyu was seeing red too. He would have been more willing to hear Seungcheol out if he hadnât seen you fall to the ground, but your pitiful whine sent his head spinning and had him rushing towards his best friend.Â
You watch in horror, trying to get to your feet quickly enough as Mingyu manages to land a painful blow to Seungcheolâs stomach. This was your worst nightmare. You had always managed to fuck up things at home, but never this badly. It was one thing for you to fight with your father or your brother, but causing your brother and his best friend to physically fightâthis was a different low. Screaming at the top of your lungs for them to stop, you force your way between the two men, feeling Mingyu take a step back first, not willing to hurt you even as Seungcheol pushes against you, trying to finish this. âPlease! Stop! Iâm sorry! Cheol!âÂ
Stumbling backwards when your panicked screams finally seem to get through to him, Seungcheol glares first at you and then at Mingyu before pointing at him. âGet the fuck off my property. You're fired.â Turning his attention back to you, Seungcheol reaches for your arm, pulling you towards him hard. âAnd you get the hell back to the house!âÂ
You werenât fighting for yourself anymore, even if Seungcheolâs grip hurtâyou were mad that he was trying to force Mingyu out of his home. Slapping at your brotherâs chest and finally his face, you meet his eyes with tears streaming down your face. âNo! I will leave! Do you hear me? This is my fault. He isnât going anywhere. Daddy gave him the house, Seungcheol! It isnât yours to take.â Shaking your head as he starts to complain, you push him back again further away from Mingyu. âThis is my fucking fault! I did this! Not Mingyu. Iâll leave in the morning.âÂ
âY/NâŠâÂ
Hearing Mingyuâs voice, you turn towards him and shake your head before grabbing Seungcheolâs hand, trying to pull him with you. Mingyu watches you, feeling his heart break as you mutter for Seungcheol to come on, urging him back towards the ranch. Wiping the blood from his lips, he leans his head back and sighs loudly, drawing Seungcheol's and your attention back towards him.Â
âYouâre wrong, Cheol, and you know it.â Watching you shake your head, Mingyu just nods at you and meets Seungcheolâs eyes even as he glares at him. âShe ainât done nothinâ wrong and Iâfuck I ainât either. She shouldnât have to leave. This is her home.â Gesturing behind him, Mingyu scoffs, though the pain is evident in his voice. âIâll leave if thatâs really what you want.âÂ
Tugging his hand from yours, Seungcheol shakes his head before running his fingers through his hair. He could already feel his ribs starting to hurt. He was going to be bruised and he was getting a headache. âI donât give a fuck what you do, Mingyu. Clearly neither of you gives a shit about what I care about.âÂ
Trying to grab Seungcheolâs arm again, you whine when he keeps it from you again. âCheollieâŠâ Tears drip from your cheeks and on to your shirt as you start to walk back with him, but not before meeting Mingyuâs eyes and shaking your head. âDonât go anywhere. Thatâs your house; I told you before.â You could see the pain in his eyes, the way he was almost begging you to stay there with him, but you couldnât. You had to follow your family this time even if he hated you.Â
Sniffling back your tears even as you move through the living room with Seungcheol, you watch as he pours himself a drink and sits down hard on the couch. He hadnât spoken to you once on the walk back to the house. He had kept his eyes forward and no matter how many times you tried to whisper your apology, he ignored it. Even now as you watched him stare at the wall, you could feel the anger rippling off of him.Â
âCheolâŠâ Your voice was meek and full of regret as you moved closer to your brother, finally moving to your knees near him on the couch. You couldnât make him look at you, but you knew he could hear you. âIâm so fucking sorry. I know I lied. IâI disappoint you all the time. I ruined your friendship with Mingyu. I know you hate me and I donât blame you.â Wiping tears from your cheeks as Seungcheol continues to seemingly ignore you, you whine into your words, feeling your heart being crushed. âIâm sorry. I love you and I know I fucked this up. IâIâll go pack. Iâll leave in the morning. I swear.âÂ
Sniffing hard, Seungcheol takes another sip of his drink and puts it on the arm of the sofa, still not looking at you. âDonât be fuckinâ stupid. You ainât leavinâ.â Daring to look at you finally, Seungcheol has to force himself to stay stoic when your tears cause his heart to ache. âIâm so fuckinâ pissed off at you, Y/N. You lied to me over and over again. Itâs all you doââÂ
âIâm sorry Cheollie! IâIâm not trying to lie to you. That wasnât what I was tryinââÂ
âStop it. You say this shit. You always get my hopes up and then you do this.â Gesturing around him like you are supposed to see what heâs telling you, Seungcheol sighs and leans his head back. âYou get back in my heart or in someone elseâs, and you run.âÂ
A sob gets caught in your throat when you feel Seungcheolâs pain in his words. His anger had subsided and gotten replaced with something worse and it was eating you alive. âIâIâm not trying to hurt you or anyone else, Cheol. Iâthatâthatâs why IâŠâÂ
Shaking his head, Seungcheol looks up at the ceiling to stop the tears in his eyes from falling when you try to explain yourself. He didnât want your excuses. âYeah, well, itâs what youâre good at and I just wish that once, just fuckinâ once, you werenât.âÂ
It was as if the sky was as upset as Mingyu felt. From the moment that he had woken up, the storms had started. There had been few moments in the day when he could wander out during a dry spell and work on a task to keep his mind from lingering on you. You were all he wanted to think about and it seemed as if you were avoiding him as much as he was avoiding Seungcheol.Â
Last night had not ended in the way that Mingyu would have hoped. He could still feel the pain in his lip and jaw. The bruise was already starting to turn an ugly color where his lip had split angrily, but at least he had stopped bleeding. That pain was nothing compared to what he felt in his chest when he watched you turn away from him every time you saw him come near. It wasnât like he blamed you. He should leave you alone, but that was easier said than done when his heart ached from just thinking about you.Â
The rain now was a perfect reminder of how he felt. It came in waves, soaking the ground and keeping him secludedâor so he thought. Mingyu hadnât expected to see you again and he certainly hadnât expected to see you watching the rain from the large barn door entrance. You looked too perfect just standing there. It felt wrong to just admire you for as long as Mingyu did, but he found himself afraid if he said anything too soon you might fly off like a bird towards the gray sky. It was only when it was unbearable to just watch that Mingyu moved closer and whispered your name just loud enough to be heard over the rain.Â
You had thought that you were alone. The storms made it easy for you to think that. Everything was loud when the rain started to fall on the tin roofs of the barns. You had been trying to make it back to the house when the rain started to come down in sheets, pushing you into the barn for shelter. All day long the storms had come and gone quickly, but this one seemed to be holding on like it held a grudgeâbut when you hear your name, you realize that maybe that idea wasnât as crazy as it seemed.Â
Closing your eyes, you sigh and lower your head at Mingyuâs voice. There was no slipping away from him this time. No pretending like you didnât hear him or that he didnât see you standing where you were⊠You could feel your heart tightening as his fingers brushed over yours and he sighed your name once more, almost begging you without any other words to talk to him.Â
âMingyu, please stopâŠâ You hear him start to speak again, but before he can try to plead his case, you bite the bullet, lifting your eyes to meet his sad ones. âJusâjust donât, okay? Donât do this.â Watching him shake his head, hurt and confusion in his gaze, you stay calm, keeping your own tears at bay as you force the words out. âIâm leaving soon. Iâm gonna go back to the city. I mean⊠Letâs be serious, Mingyu⊠Iâm not good for anyone.âÂ
It was clear what you were trying to do. Mingyu wasnât an idiot. He could see the look on your face. See the tears sitting on the rims of your eyes even if you wouldnât let them fall. You were doing your best to push him away and it wasnât going to happen. Not while he was breathing. Scoffing, Mingyu slides his fingers against yours, taking your hand in his even as you whine his name and close your eyes as if trying to will yourself away from him and your feelings. âTell me why? Huh?âÂ
Exasperated, you start to look away from Mingyu as you open your eyes, only for him to turn your face back towards him carefully. âStop. Why are you doing this? I told you, I am leaving.âÂ
âAnd I asked why? Why do you gotta go? Answer that.âÂ
It seems like such a simple question, one that you should know the answer to as easy as breathing, but you falter. Shaking your head, you open your mouth and close it for a moment before taking a breath and gesturing towards him and then out at the ranch. âBecause, Gyu! Thatâs where my life is. Thatâs where my job is.âÂ
Nodding along with your words, Mingyu tries to tighten his grip on your hand when you pull it away, causing him to sigh into his words. âBaby⊠Why canât that be here? Huh? You got a life hereââÂ
âDonâtâŠâ The tears that you had been keeping at bay finally fall onto your cheeks as you take a step back. âDonât call me that.âÂ
Following you step by step without trying to push you away from him, Mingyu fights the urge to pull you into his arms and comfort you. The tears on your cheeks break his heart but also tell him that heâs right. âWhy not?âÂ
You try to keep walking away from Mingyu, wanting to put more distance between what you want and what you know you canât have when you feel the door of the barn against your back stopping you. A soft sob slips from between your lips, causing your words to soften. âBecause⊠it hurts.âÂ
Giving into his need to touch you, to keep you safe as your voice shakes, Mingyu holds your wrists loosely, happy when you donât pull away. âWhy, baby?â You donât answer right away; instead, you turn your head to the side, more tears slipping down your cheeks as he uses the pet name again, causing your heart to tighten in your chest. âWhy does it hurt?âÂ
Mingyu watches you shake your head, your brows furrowing as you fight the urge to tell him the truth and if you should run away instead. âIs it âcause you might love me?â He knew it was bold of him to say and even bolder to assume, but he felt it when you kissed him. He could see it in your eyes even as you looked for your escape plan.Â
Knocking your head back against the door, you shake your head and avoid Mingyuâs eyes for as long as you can until he wipes the tears from your cheeks. âShut up.â You had never been afraid to tell men that you loved them in the past. The truth was that you had never meant it often. Those three words had been for the most part, just part of the routine. Youâd meet a nice guy, move in for a while, say the words, and then get bored, but then Mingyu. The words werenât just routine. They werenât just words.Â
Not hiding the way the corners of his lips pull up into a smile, Mingyu nods before leaning to brush his nose against yours, testing the waters. Would you pull away? Tell him to get the hell away from you. When you do neither of those things, your hands moving slide over his stomach, Mingyu bites his lips, letting out a slow breath once again and biting a bullet. âItâs alright, baby. I might just love you too.â Â
The rain had gotten harder, but so had your tears. Shaking your head, you finally pull away, stepping out from the barn and feeling the rain begin to soak through your clothing as it washes away your tears. The idea that Mingyu loved you was overwhelming and it changed too much. If you ran awayâdid what you always didâyou couldnât get hurt, and you couldnât hurt anyone else, only this time someone wasnât letting you.Â
It didnât matter to Mingyu that he was getting soaked from the rain. He couldnât stand the idea of you leaving him. He had seen that look on your face. He knew it in his heart how you felt even if you couldnât say it yet. Licking the rain from his lips, Mingyu grabs your hand and meets your eyes when you whine his name. He can tell what is rain and what is your tears, but that doesnât matter as his hand wipes it all from your cheeks so his lips can meet yours, hopefully saying everything you need to hear.Â
Water drips from both you and Mingyu as he carries you into his house, letting the screen door slam close behind him. There wasnât a single thing else on his mind than you in his arms at the moment with your lips on his. If it werenât for the fact that he could feel you starting to shiver against him, Mingyu would have put you against the wall right against the front door and taken you right there.Â
You hadnât planned to end up back here, but then again you hadnât planned on any of this. How could you have foreseen Kim Mingyu? How could you have imagined how one man would turn your entire life upside down and leave you so completely breathless with just a kiss or his strong hands keeping you secure in his arms? You had never been the type of woman to want to be carried or manhandled, but that also had changed when you had met Mingyu because now you found yourself being carried up the stairs and into his bathroom. âGyu⊠put me down. I can walkâŠâÂ
âI know what you can do, baby.â Giving you his most blinding grin, Mingyu shakes his head as he sits you on the bathroom counter so he can slide his hands up your thighs under your wet dress. âAnd I know what I can do for you. Why the hell would I make you walk when I can do it for you?â Tsking as if itâs simple addition, he steps between your legs, urging you to lift your hips, letting him slip the dress further up your body and over your head. âNow Iâm gettinâ you out of these wet clothes and into a warm shower.âÂ
Leaning back against the mirror, you bite at your bottom lip, letting your eyes move over Mingyu as he stands in front of you. âYeah? Iâm not the only one in wet clothes.â The rain had soaked you both to your skin. Mingyuâs white t-shirt clung to his chest, leaving little to your imagination, while water dripped from his hair.Â
âIs that your way of askinâ me to join you?âÂ
Goosebumps were covering your skin, even as the steam had started to fill the room, making the air around you both warmer; it wasnât enough to hide the effect Mingyu had on you. âWhat do you think? You gonna make me shower alone? After bringing me all the way here?âÂ
Mingyu had been good at keeping the confident facade up until that point. He was head over heels for you. You ask him to get on his knees and beg to shower with you at that point and heâd do it without so much as a question. Tugging his shirt over his head, he drops it on the floor next to your dress, meeting your eyes once again before tugging you to the end of the counter so that he can get his lips back on yours, speaking against them. âIâll never make you do a single fuckinâ thing alone again, baby.âÂ
You wanted to give in to Mingyu, believe that you could have what he was promising. While a tiny voice inside your head told you to run, your heart was too lost on the moment. Furrowing your brows, you give into the kiss and melt into Mingyuâs touch. For once in a long time, you give yourself completely to the moment and to someone else, hoping they will catch you when you fallâand he does.Â
It doesnât take too much longer for Mingyu to have the rest of your clothes and his discarded on the floor or for him to have your back against the wall of the shower. Moaning into his mouth, you keep your legs tight around his waist, enjoying the overwhelming feeling of Mingyu pinned against you. âPleaseâŠâÂ
âPlease?â Nudging his nose against your jaw, Mingyu grins and licks the water from his lips when you whine his name. âWhat? Iâm just tryinâ to understand what you want from me, darlinâ. I got you where I said I wouldâŠâÂ
He was frustrating in all the best ways. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing as Mingyuâs cock rested between your body and his. It wouldnât take much for him to slide right into you and get you as full as he had the day before, but he was being coy. Two could play that game. Knocking your head back against the tile wall, you pout at Mingyu before rolling your hips towards him, watching his mouth fall open in a silent groan. âYou did, but if this is all youâre gonna do⊠You might as well put me down and let me actually take a shower.âÂ
Scoffing, Mingyu presses you tighter against the wall, his smirk lifting at his lips once again when you gasp. You were soft and wet against him. It was more than what was left over from the rain and the water from the showerâthis was you leaking between your legs as you teased him. âYouâre so full of shit, baby.âÂ
You start to give some witty comeback about how at least you are full of something since itâs not him when Mingyu renders you speechless. The pressure of his cock bullying its way into your tight pussy causes a breath to get stuck in your throat that you only let go of when his hips are flush with yours. The first deep thrust has you seeing stars. You had been full of Mingyu before, but this felt different. He was determined and you could do nothing but cling to him and moan as your walls tightened around him even further, begging him for more.Â
âFuck, baby. You feel like heaven.â Mingyu was whining into every single groan as he fucked you slowly but deeply against the shower wall. He could feel every time your pussy clenched around him. He could tell you were close by how your smooth walls were holding him like your life depended on keeping him close. âGod, IâI love you, Y/N. I know it ainât fair to say it right now, but dammit, baby, itâs true.âÂ
Closing your eyes so tight that you force the tears from them, you hold back your sob as Mingyu buries his face against your neck. You know what you want to say in returnâyou love him too, but the words donât leave your mouth. You instead find your escape when Mingyu quietly begs you to cum for him, telling you that he canât waitâthat he needs you to let go for him. Unable to hold yourself back anymore, you gasp for a deep breath, unable to take it when your orgasm rips through you like a tidal wave with one of Mingyuâs hard thrusts.Â
âOh, fuckâŠâ The word is drawn out. Mingyuâs vision goes white as he bites at his lips, trying to stop himself from following you immediately, knowing he needs to restrain himself. Itâs when he tries to separate himself from you, his climax so close that he can taste it, that you sob his name and tell him to stay. Meeting your eyes, Mingyu thinks he could pass out or die right then and there. It isnât the smartest or safest thing in the world to do, but he nods, his hand sliding along yours to pin your wrist to the wall as he buries himself inside of you as deeply as possible, spilling his cum into you with a loud, drawn-out groan.Â
The water from the shower had started to go cold. If this had been your apartment, you would find that annoying, but in Mingyuâs arms as he held you back against his chest, working soap over your body, you didnât care. There was a lot left unsaid, especially by you, but the brush of Mingyuâs lips over your ear and your fingers walking along his forearm said plentyâjust not enough.Â
âI love you, baby.â Closing your eyes again, you turn your head away from Mingyuâs lips, hearing him sigh against your head. âItâs alright. You ainât gotta say it back right now⊠But I sure as hell ainât gonna stop tellinâ you.âÂ
âI know, GyuâŠâ Your voice is quiet even as the water is cut off and Mingyu helps you out of the shower wrapping a towel around you. âIâIâm selfish. I donât want you to stop telling me.âÂ
Shaking his head, Mingyu smiles softly, his head tilted as he uses the towel to wipe some water from your cheek before rubbing his hands along your arms over the towel. âThat ainât selfish.â Taking a deep breath, he wraps a towel around his waist before returning his attention to you and helping you dry off slowly. âJust means youâll tell me when youâre ready. Iâm patient.â
Furrowing his brows at the light making its way through his blinds, Mingyu sighs, sliding his hand along the bed to reach out for you. It had been a dream come true to sleep with you in his arms, and it seemed like that dream was over. The other side of his bed was cold now. Forcing his eyes open, Mingyu frowns, seeing the reality of what he knewâyou werenât there. In the place where you had slept, there was just a daisy lying on your pillow.Â
You hadnât given him a real answer last night and now, as Mingyu looked at the flower between his fingers, he still didnât know what you wanted. You had taken the time to wander around the house and out of it to pick a flower next to the porch before bringing it back upstairs to him and yet you hadnât said goodbye. It felt final and made Mingyuâs stomach feel like it was full of stones.Â
It had been a couple of hours since you had gotten back to the house. You had managed to get there before Seungcheol had thankfully even considered waking up and now you were pushing around breakfast on a plate. The smell of the food alone was enough to turn your stomach as you listened to the sound of footsteps shuffling into the room and Seungcheolâs rough greeting as he slumped down into a chair.Â
You looked like you hadnât slept at all. There was a sad look on your face and you barely whispered a good morning to him as your brother studied you. There was something wrong. You would barely look up from the papers in front of you. âUhâis uh, the inventory shit done? You alright?â Sliding a mug closer to him, Seungcheol starts to pour himself a cup of coffee when you nod and sigh out of your nose, finally meeting his eyes. You have been crying. Seungcheol can see the makeup under your eyes, but no matter how much you try to hide it, he knows what it looks like when you cry.Â
âYep. All good. Itâs done and just needs you to sign a couple of things.â Blinking a few times feeling Seungcheolâs heavy gaze, you look back down at the paperwork, putting a pen on top of a stack of papers and sliding them towards him. âThose are for the bank. Basically just what was in the will and estate.âÂ
Nodding along with your words, Seungcheol picks up the pen, glancing over the papers before signing his name below yours on each sheet of paper. Itâs only when he reaches the last one, where his name is above yours, that he stops, his brows furrowing. âWhat the fuck is this one? I havenât seenââ Muttering under his breath, he reads aloud a few words loud enough for you to hear as you shift uncomfortably, waiting for him to just get it over with. âLiquidation of Miss Choiâs half of assets and property⊠No. No, Y/N. I wonât sign this shit.âÂ
You have to force yourself to meet Seungcheolâs eyes as he shakes his head, pushing the papers back towards you so hard that most of them scatter. âCheol! Please listen to me. Iâm doing this becaââÂ
âFuck you! You donât get to do this again!â With tears on the rims of his eyes, Seungcheol pushes back on his chair hard, causing it to fall back on the floor as he comes to a stand. âDo you hate me that fuckinâ much?â Instead of getting an answer from you, Seungcheol is met with silence and tears on your cheeks. âWow, Y/NâŠâÂ
The silence is deafening as Seungcheol walks out of the room. The only sound you hear is the slam of the door as he goes outside, leaving you alone in the house with your thoughts that make you feel like you are drowning.Â
Mingyu isnât sure what he expected to find when he reached the main house. He had hoped that maybe you would be waiting for him or that maybe youâd come running out to meet him and jump into his arms. None of that happened; he instead finds Seungcheol sitting on the porch with a cigarette between his lips and tears on his cheeks. âWhatââ Looking between him and the house, Mingyu swallows hard as his brows furrow at the sight of his best friend so broken in front of him. âWhat happened?âÂ
There wasnât anything to say and there was no way that Seungcheol was going to explain all of this to Mingyu right now. The anger was still too fresh. Barely meeting Mingyuâs eyes, Seungcheol simply gestures back towards the house where you are without saying a word.Â
The sound of footsteps once again has your stomach in knots. You try to pull yourself together, wiping the tears from your cheeks, readying to defend yourself to Seungcheol once again when you look up to see Mingyu instead. Of course it would be worse. You find yourself playing the morning back, laying next to him as the sun started to rise and running your fingertip over the bridge of his nose before fear ripped through you so you ran away. Now he stood in front of you looking at the papers spread out on the table. âMingyuâŠâÂ
âI wasâwell, I was coming to see why you left, but Cheolââ Shaking his head, unable to finish what he is saying as his brows furrow at the paperwork in front of him, Mingyu picks up one of the papers before sighing your name. âYou really wanna leave?âÂ
Sighing, fresh tears falling onto your cheeks, you gesture around you as a scoff slips from your lips as if it should be obvious. âI fuck everything up, Mingyu. No one needs me here!â Pushing back from the table like Seungcheol had before, you start to walk away when a hand on yours stops you.Â
âWho says? Who gets to decide that, baby?â Shaking his head, Mingyu takes a step towards you, dropping the paper back onto the table as you whine his name and try to pull your hand from his. âYou are always runninâ away. I ainât like the rest that just let you, dammit!âÂ
Mingyuâs words cut at you deep. It was obvious that you were always running away and he was calling you out on it. Shaking your head to disagree with logic, you tug at his hand only to be pulled towards him, feeling his other hand gently wipe at your tears.Â
âNow, I love you, and I want you to stay with me.â Even as you close your eyes, Mingyu just sighs and continues, knowing you can still hear him, the tears rolling down your cheeks for him to wipe away. âBaby, I know that Cheol wants you to stay.âÂ
No matter how tightly you close your eyes and try to run away, to will this all away where you canât hurt Mingyu or Seungcheol, when you open your eyes Mingyu is still standing in front of you. Heâs still there holding you and begging you to admit that you love him. Leaning your head forward, you rest it against Mingyuâs chest, his fingers running over the back of your head soothingly as you mutter softly. âWhat if I fuck this up?âÂ
Shrugging, Mingyu smiles against your head before kissing the same place gently. âThen Iâll fix it. Iâll fix you.âÂ
The words and the idea of them make you laugh, but you know he isnât lying. Pouting, you finally look up at Mingyu so he can cup your cheek and brush his lips against yours. Finally, after fighting it for days, the words make it past your lips and to his ears. âI love you, Mingyu.âÂ
You feel his lips pull up against yours, his smile infectious, causing you to smile in return before his arms hold you to him for a few more moments.Â
âSay it again.âÂ
Sighing softly, you nod. âI love you.âÂ
The words are like music to Mingyuâs ears and more than that, they feel like a promise heâs been dying to hear. Taking a step back, he brushed his thumb against your bottom lip before looking back to the table, picking up the piece of paper that had caused so much hurt today. You watch as he furrows his brows, his eyes quickly looking over the words before he hands it to you, letting you decide what you are going to do.Â
It feels like minutes, maybe hours, as you hold the paper in your hands before you finally do what you should have done from the beginningâyou rip it in half. With the two halves of the paper falling to the ground, you feel the anxiety in your chest lift as Mingyu pulls you back against him, and he welcomes you home.Â
 © onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Let me hear you say... (teaser)
pairing;Â kim mingyu x f reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), heavy angst, fluff, toxic, ranch au, brothers best friend au
content warnings;Â death of a family member, family trauma, older brother!seungcheol, lawyer!reader, ranch hand/foreman!mingyu, ranch hands -- jun/soonyoung/chan, arguing, crying, toxic family relationship, eating/drinking, rich reader & seungcheol, physical fight, blood, bruises. i know nothing about how an estate actually works and that shows but i did my best. (Patreon has it's own warnings)
smut warnings;Â unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, oral (f receiving), mingyu is able to carry the reader (strength kink), pet names.
w/c; 28.8k and some change (including Patreon bonus) -- 1.2k teaser
a/n; thank you to my june for proofreading. i love you sugar butt. i hope you guys like this one. its very much self serving. i mean come on... it's mingyu and its ranch au (im as southern as southern can be). thank you for reading my loves!
this fic will be released 4/15 to read the full fic with the bonus now subscribe to my patreon and click here
âSheâs here for how long?âÂ
Lifting two of the suitcases, Mingyu grunts at the weight of the one in his left hand before tilting his head in disbelief as Seungcheol takes out two more suitcases from the back of his SUV.Â
âUh⊠I donât know. A couple weeks? Maybe longer. However long it takes to work through the paperwork and shit.âÂ
Mingyu had never met you, but he had heard plenty of stories about the infamous baby Choi. While Seungcheol had stayed home and learned the ropes from your fatherâeventually taking on the ranchâyou had other plans.Â
Leaving Montana in your rearview mirror, you headed for New York, went to school, got your law degree, and were on your way to making partner at one of the most elite practices in the city. Everything got put on hold with a single phone call from your brother asking you to come home, sorrow in his voice as he struggled through having to tell you the news both of you had been dreading for a whileâyour father had passed away. That had been a few months ago. You both had survived the funeral but now the hard stuff was keeping you both from moving on so you found yourself back.
âPut your back into it, Gyu. They canât be that heavy. You throw hay daily, and now youâre whining over a suitcase?âÂ
Mocking Seungcheolâs teasing, Mingyu follows behind him with a grunt as he lifts your bags, making his way into the large main house where you already were. "Yeah, well, hay weighs less than this shiââ Feeling his words get caught in his throat as he moves into the living room, meeting your eyes for the first time, Mingyu swallows hard and watches as Seungcheol puts what he was carrying down before moving to pull you into a tight hug. God, you were pretty. Mingyu didnât know what he had been expecting. He had seen pictures of you, of course, but that was different than being in the same damn room as you.Â
âHey, squirt. How was the flight?âÂ
As much as you werenât looking forward to being home, the comfort of a tight hug from your big brother was just what the doctor had ordered. Burying your face against his jacket, you sigh softly before taking in a breath, letting the warmth of his embrace wash over you before you finally take a step back and shrug, meeting Seungcheolâs eyes and feeling another set lingering on you. âExhausting. Not even business class could make a five-hour flight bearable.â Finally looking past your brother, when you hear a set of heavier bags hitting the hardwood floor, you lift your brow, meeting the eyes of the other man curiously. âThatâs Louis Vuitton.âÂ
Unsure if you are speaking directly to him, Mingyu glances behind him before lifting his hand to touch his chest and shaking his head. âNah, Kim Mingyu.âÂ
Scoffing under your breath, you hear your brother chuckle before he shakes his head and gestures back to the man who had just introduced himself.Â
âAs the idiot said, heâs Kim Mingyu. Heâs smarter than he seems, I promise. He just isnât used to all your fancy shit, Y/N.âÂ
Forcing yourself to not roll your eyes, you move past your brother and towards Mingyu, who visibly takes a deep breath watching you lean down to your luggage. âClearly. It rolls, Kim Mingyu, and Louis Vuitton is the name of the brand that made this luggage.â Pushing on the button to extend the handle, you let out a soft sigh on your breath as you stand back to your full height in front of Mingyu, meeting his eyes once again. âThanks for bringing it in. Are you, like, my brotherâs bestie or something?âÂ
You didnât fit in at all. If it wasnât for some family resemblance, Mingyu wouldnât even know that you and Seungcheol were siblings. For one, you were gorgeous, and Seungcheol was Seungcheol, and for two, you were saying shit that was going over Mingyuâs head, making him smile like an idiot. âBestie? Uh⊠I mean sure. Weâre close, but I work here, Miss Choi.âÂ
A smirk pulls at your lips when you hear your brother curse under his breath in disbelief; meanwhile, Mingyu has sparked your interest in several ways. âYou do? What do you do?âÂ
Realizing you hadnât corrected him, calling you Miss Choi, Mingyu swallows hard, his smile fading only slightly as he puts on a confident facade, not wanting to let you get the better of him. âYeah, umâall kinds of things. Iâm the ranch foreman so Iâm in charge of all the other ranch hands. Make sure they do their jobsââÂ
âSo then what does Cheollie do?âÂ
âAlright, thatâs enough. Gyu, the boys should be back from fixing that fence up on the ridge. Make sure Chan puts shit back where it belongs.â Seungcheol had seen this song and dance with you before with other ranch hands when you lived at home or when you would come home during the summer. You had broken a few hearts and got yours broken a few times in the process. You were too important, and what Seungcheol needed you home for was too necessary for you to be mixed up with someone who didnât know what they were getting themselves into.Â
âYeah, sure. Iâll talk to you later.â Nodding his head towards Seungcheol, Mingyu smiles softly before meeting your eyes and nodding his head again politely. âMaâam.âÂ
Waving as Mingyu closes the large wooden door, you laugh under your breath hearing Seungcheol let out another exasperated sigh. âWhat? Heâs cute.âÂ
âLeave him alone. Heâs busy and heâs not used to girls like you.âÂ
Feigning shock, you pull the heavy bag behind you as Seungcheol lifts two of your bags, heading down the hall towards your bedroom. âGirls like me? What the fuck does that mean, Choi Seungcheol?âÂ
Your bedroom was much like it had been before you had left for university. You had changed things here and there, giving it a more grown-up feel, and yet every time you were back here, it felt like you were a teenager again. Watching Seungcheol put your bags at the end of your large bed, you narrow your eyes at him as he shakes his head to your question, finally turning to meet your eyes.Â
âI donât mean it bad. You are just... a lot. You never plan on sticking around so you tend to fuck with their heads. Canât we justââ Sighing, Seungcheol moves towards you, putting his hands on your biceps as he offers you a smile. âLetâs just focus on getting the paperwork all worked out. Get this will shit out of the way and you can get back to doing whatever it is that you do.âÂ
Whatever it is that you do. Nodding along with Seungcheolâs words, you sigh before returning his smile, only strained. This was another reason you hated coming home. Seungcheol and your father had never understood why you had left home and done something different. You werenât a ranch girl. You had a brain and you wanted to do something with it. It felt like to you that they only appreciated it when they needed itâlike now.Â
âSure, whatever, Cheol. Iâll get it figured out for you, then get back to whatever it is that I do.âÂ
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© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Bittersweet (Patreon Exclusive Drabble)
pairing; joshua hong x f reader
genre; smut (minor dni)
summary;Â Punishment is so sweet and so bitter
content warnings;Â power imbalance (boss/ceo! joshua, employee! reader), marriage -- husband! joshua, wife!reader
smut warnings; unprotected sex, fingering, overstimulation, hard Dom!joshua, sub!reader, multiple orgasms, marriage kink, breeding kink, dirty talk, pet names (degrading and not), praise/degradation, crying from pleasure, aftercare Â
w/c;Â 1.6k and some change (I actually managed to write a drabbled sized thing)
a/n;Â thank you to @soongyeopsal for betaing for me. đ this is just a little something to fill the space and to thank my patreon subscribers for their incredibly patience while I write my next fic and allowing me to take a seriously much needed break. I hope you like it.
this fic is a Patreon exclusive bonus drabble â to read this drabble subscribe to my Patreon and click here
âHow many was that?â Gasping for a full breath, you whine Joshuaâs name, looking up at him through tear-soaked lashes as he smirks down at you with a smirk on his lips. You had been in this position for nearly an hour. From the moment that you and Joshua had stepped into the apartment and he had given you that half-amused and half-annoyed look, you had known that your playful antics from the day werenât going to go unchallenged.
âYou werenât keeping count? BabyâŠâ
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© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

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Fatal Trouble
pairing;Â lee jihoon x f!readerÂ
genre;Â fantasy, heavy angst, mild horror, slow burn, smut (minor dni), toxic, fluffÂ
summary;Â where others would steal, bargain, or kill to live the life that jihoon had, he knew the truth. a charmed life was often a cursed one.Â
content warnings; prince!jihoon, princess!reader, both the reader and jihoonâs parents are mentioned/in the fic, duke!mingyu, mild love triangle, jealousy, based on the beauty and the beast, beast!jihoon, some ideas have been borrowed from damsel, royalty au, time period not stated but not modern, curses, pregnancy/miscarriage scares, blood, mauling, murder/death, loss of parent(s), arranged marriage, crying, arguing, mental struggles, vivid descriptions of wounds/shifting, poor use of french, especially old french (i apologize). I am sure there are moreâthis is a very heavy fic. if there is anything glaring I missed, message me. (patreon will have additional warnings)
smut warnings; multiple smut scenes, virgin!reader, mild Dom/sub themes, dubcon leaning noncon briefly, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f recieving), handjob, pet names, crying (pleasure and not) â as always Iâm sure Iâm missing something, send me a message if itâs glaring. (patreon will have additional warnings)
w/c; 47k and some change (50k~ with patreon bonus)
once upon a time collab masterlistÂ
fatal trouble - enhypenÂ
a/n; thank you to @nothoughtsjustfic for putting together this collab. this has been a lot of fun and incredibly challenging all at the same time. also a huge thank you to @junkissed for proofreading this beast (pun intended). I know you are incredibly busy and you still managed to carve out a little time for me, I appreciate it more than you know.Â
French word bank: Monseigneur - title for prince, Madame - title female royalty (queen/princess), Madame La Reine - title for queen, Monsieur - title male royalty (duke), Maman - mother, Mon fils - son, Mon amor- my love, Mon ange - my angel
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
1
He knew they were trying to keep the truth from him. Jihoon wasnât sure why at this point. His mother liked to pretend that if you didnât speak about something, you could pretend it didnât happen. Jihoon knew all too well that not saying something didnât make nightmares disappear.Â
The bile was rising in his throat as he watched the men shift the girlâs bloody arm under the white sheet. She had been exceptionally pretty and incredibly naive. She had truly believed this was her dream come true. She was going to become the Queen of Aetherial Grove. She was changing the lives of her tiny little no-name kingdom... At least half of that was true.Â
âMonseigneurâŠâÂ
Jihoon hadnât realized he had stopped walking or that he was staring. Even as Wonwoo spoke to him, the prince kept his eyes down on the ground. Jihoon was beginning to look ill. Over the past few months, the stress of everything around him had only made his usual ordeal all that much worse. Wonwoo knew and saw everything in the palace, but watching Jihoon now he could see his sunken cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes that were only highlighting how pale he had become.Â
âMonseigneur? Prince Jihoon?âÂ
The droplets of blood were like a trail of guilt for Jihoon as he watched the girlâs body being taken from the courtyard. He could hear Wonwooâs voice, but the blood rushing in his ears and the sound of his own heart beating rapidly were drowning it out until the moment that the Steward placed his hand on Jihoonâs shoulder. âWhat? What doâstop coddling me.âÂ
Lifting his shoulders to shrug the manâs hand from him, Jihoon swallows the bile from his throat and leans his head back towards the sky. It was a cloudy day in the Aetherial Grove. If Jihoon had to be out of the palace, these were the days he preferred. The sunshine hurt his sensitive eyes and reminded him that most nights he hadnât slept as much as he or anyone else would have hoped he had.Â
âMy apologies, monseigneur. You just looked lost in your thoughts, Iââ Wonwoo knew that he wasnât fooling anyone, but especially not Jihoon. He could see the disdainful look on his face as he finally met his eyes. âI just wanted to bring you back to the present. Nothing here was worth your concern and your mother wanted to meet with you in the queenâs salon.âÂ
There was nothing else in the world that Jihoon would rather do less than speak with his mother after what had just occurred, and yet he knewâas alwaysâhe didnât have a choice in the matter. âAh, I see. Well, I wonât keep the queen waiting then. Iâm present and accounted for, Wonwoo; youâve done your job well, as always.â With a roll of his eyes, Jihoon sighs out the last of his words, turning on his heel and turning back up the steps towards the large front doors of the palace he had the unfortunate privilege to call home. Where others would steal, bargain, or kill to live the life that Jihoon had, he knew the truth. A charmed life was often a cursed one.Â
âItâs entirely unfortunate. If they ask for a cause, we say what we always doââÂ
âThat she died of disease?âÂ
Jihoonâs mother was a beautiful woman. In her youth, the queen had been regarded as one of the most stunning women in any surrounding kingdom to Aetherial Grove, and that was what brought her here and to her husband. While age hadnât taken her beauty, stress had begun to show around her eyes and lips as, with each backhand comment from Jihoon, she found a new line forming from frustration.Â
âYes, mon fils, because that is precisely what happened to that poor girl.â Â
Of course it was. That was what had happened to every single ill-fated princess who had made her way into Jihoonâs life. Scoffing under his breath, Jihoon moves to the large windows, feeling his motherâs eyes linger on him for a moment longer. She was frustrated; her annoyance was palpable in the air.Â
âWe persevere and try agaââ
âYou canât be serious, maman. When is enough, enough?â Jihoon didnât allow his mother time to answer his question as she shifted on her chair. He knew the right answer and the answer he would receive. âIâm done with this.âÂ
The air in the room had gone stagnant as the tension rose between them. There was only so much that she could handle before she would snap, and Jihoon was walking that line. âWell, darling, that isnât a choice you simply get to make, is it?â In the queenâs mind, Jihoon might be struggling with the adjustments he was having to make, but his lifeâthis life that they all livedâwas worth all of it. It was worth a few mishaps. âThis isnât about you, Jihoon. Your father is struggling; donât you care? Itâs your jobâno, itâs your duty to step up and accept your position, and you are acting like an insolent child because, why? A few girls we barely knew didnât fit in.â There were more important things to be concerned about in his motherâs mind than things that were now part of the past.Â
âWonwoo, dear? Make sure that the room is in perfect condition for our beautiful new princess, wonât you?âÂ
The bile was back in Jihoonâs throat. He could hear the faint roaring of what could be mistaken as his blood in his ears once again, but he knew that wasnât what it was. No, that rumble was too familiar and terrified him. He was angry, and he wasnât the only one that was taking notice. Inside of Jihoon was his family's greatest tragedy and well-kept secret. While he had been told his entire life that it had never been his fault, every time that he woke up with blood on his hands and face, he would need to be convinced again.Â
The great kingdom of Aetherial Grove was full of wealth and prosperity, not just for the royal family but their subjects. While those around them seemed to fall into debt and ruin over the years, Aetherial Grove seemed to have never faltered. That was far from the truth. Those who truly knew the history of the kingdom would know that Aetherial Grove grew from nothing and not without immense challenges. That was all until Jihoonâs family took the throne and suddenly the challenges were gone, seemingly bringing the kingdom into the sun and good fortune.Â
What had really happened not only changed the lives of everyone in Aetherial Grove, but Jihoonâs life in particular. Jihoonâs father had been a young king with a barren wife. His kingdom had been on the brink of complete collapse when a beautiful man with a charming smile offered him a solution. He would grant the King everything he ever wanted if the King promised him a favor. It seemed simple, and it had been until Jihoonâs father let the wealth and power go to his head, and then the man had come back requesting his favor.Â
âSuch a pretty wife, Sire... and sheâs with child? So far along. My blessings to you both.âÂ
The words had seemed like a threat more than anything. Where the man seemed to be offering his well wishes, the glint in his eye told Jihoonâs father there was something amiss. âShe is, and we thank you.âÂ
âAs you should. It was by my will that it came to be, and what was given can be taken away.â The beautiful manâs smile that had seemed charming at first now seemed so sinister. âIâve come to collect my favor, Sire.âÂ
âIâm certain that you have, but I fear I have nothââÂ
âYou have more than enough. Look around you; all that I have helped you to attain. Yet you lie to me and say you have nothing? Are you attempting to renege on our agreement, Sire?â The man appeared more snakelike than human as his eyes moved along the pretty queenâs face and down to the swell of her stomach. âI wouldnât suggest it. Allow me to stay in the palace until I wish to part. Be that in days, months, years, or until I die.â Â
While the king knew in his heart that the man was right and that all that was around him was due in thanks to the deal he had made with the man, his pride couldn't allow him to admit it. How would he explain to his servants or subjects who this man was that he was allowing to walk around freely in his palace? What could this lithe man do to him? The king was a man of immense power and fortitude. So instead of folding and showing any respect to him, the king scoffed and held his queen closer. âI owe you nothing. Youâll leave us at once.â
âIs that so? Do you know what happens when you donât keep your promises? What happens when you let your ego think for you?â While the man knew what the answer from the king would be, he took a step forward only to feel the guardâs weapon at his chest to keep him back. He knew that something that weak and simple wouldnât stop him if he truly wanted to harm any of them, but for the sake of peace in the moment, he took no further steps and chose to speak instead. âYouâd rather sacrifice something other than your pride? Thatâs fine. Act like a beast and receive one.âÂ
Before the king could even open his mouth to question what the manâs words meant, at his side the queen gasped in pain, feeling a cramp in her stomach. There had been no complications with her pregnancy, and the child had been a miracleâperhaps too much of one. "Darling, whatâs wrong?âÂ
Taking a step back, the man smirks to himself as he watches the king move to his knee at the womanâs side as she sobs and shakes her head in confusion. âShe will survive. Everyone will, for now. We will see if he harbors your pride, Sire. I have my doubts. Iâll take my leave.âÂ
The king wanted to question the man, have him detained, and get to the bottom of his words, but one more fearful scream from his wife had him terrified. Jihoon had been born a month early and thought to be stillborn for a full ten minutes until, by another miracle, he let out a frantic scream as if brought back from the dead.Â
His motherâs voice had become ringing in his ears as Jihoon rested his head against his hand, attempting to force the roaring in his ears to stop. It wasnât until she was on her feet and talking about moving out the previous girlâs things that Jihoon groaned under his breath, loudly bringing everyoneâs attention back to him. âIsabelle. She hasâhad a name. They all have names, maman.âÂ
âObviously, Jihoon. Iâm aware she hadââÂ
âIsabelle, Lia, Haeun, Elise, Baili, Krista, Ara, GretââÂ
âStop it!âÂ
While it was rare for Jihoonâs mother to raise her voiceâto truly yellâtoday she had. She was tired of hearing the names. She didnât need to hear their names again. Their names didnât matter to her. âItâs all unfortunate, Jihoon; Iâm aware! Mon filsâŠâ Carefully lifting her hands, she cups Jihoonâs face and meets his eyes, seeing the pain behind them. That was why she pushed as hard as she did. He was always alone; not even her company would ever be enough, and eventually, like his father was now, she would die. How could she leave her son alone? How could she leave him alone with his secret? With their secret? âItâs not your fault.âÂ
The words he hated more than any others. That was the prettiest lie and the most frequent lie that his mother told him. She had told him that same one time and time again over the span of his life. Resting his hand on her arm, Jihoon closes his eyes and furrows his brows tightly to attempt to hide his frustration as he spoke through gritted teeth. âIt is, so please, maman... Donât make me try this again. I donât need a wife.âÂ
âIâm sorry.â Jihoonâs tears trail over her fingers, and his motherâs heart breaks once again. She had lost count on how many times she had felt that feeling since the man who had cursed them had come into their house. While Jihoonâs curse was much worse, this was hers. She had to watch her son live in pain. âYour father is dying, Jihoon, and you need a queen.âÂ
2
You knew that one day someone would arrange for your hand and you would have to leave your family and your kingdom. However, the day that it happened, you werenât sure you could have ever been prepared for it. A man had shown up at your familyâs small palace in Thornwood, and you had never seen someone who looked more out of place. He had handed your father a letter, and you had watched pride and happiness wash over your fatherâs face before his eyes landed on you. That was the moment your life changed forever.Â
Deep down, you knew that this arrangement was a good thing. Even in just the couple of weeks since your father had received the letter, things had changed dramatically, not just for your family but for your kingdom as a whole. Thornwood had been struggling. In your memory, you couldnât remember a time when the kingdom hadnât been in a time of suffering, but things had only gotten worse over the past few years.Â
Waters once rich with fish were now seemingly empty and the crop fields were barren. There wasnât enough money in the entire kingdom to make any changes that were deemed necessary, much less keep everyone fed, so that was why when the letter came, it had been to everyone else, a miracle. To you, it was your worst nightmare. You had to leave the kingdom you loved more than yourself and marry someone you didnât know and that you didnât love. The only thing that made the weight of the price worth it; it was the dowry already being spent towards the benefit of your kingdom.Â
âThat is what duty is, my love. Sacrifice is difficult, but the reward is great.âÂ
Your fatherâs words looped in your ear as you now stood in front of great golden gates in the Aetherial Grove. You had heard so much and yet so little about this kingdom and its prince. He was a mystery and their were horror stories to match the amount of fairytales that came from the forest that acted as a gate around the kingdom. While you didnât heed much credit to gossip or tales, you couldnât help but think of them now as the servants unloaded your luggage and the gates began to open on your future.Â
âIâve heard the prince is a cruel but handsome man.âÂ
âNo way! Heâs a prince; he has to be charming and kind.âÂ
âBut dear, Y/N... stay out of the woods. Did you hear about the beast of Aetherial Grove? So many women have gone missing. Or at least thatâs the story.âÂ
âDonât listen to silly stories! Your prince will keep you safe. I mean, your king! Oh my goodness, Y/N, youâre going to be a queen!âÂ
Those had been the last things you had heard from your cousins, as they had helped you pack your things. You had never cared enough about wanting to be a queen of anywhere, not even of Thornwood and now you were being thrust into a completely new world and expected to rule. You could feel your breakfast churning in your stomach as the handsome butler ushered you forward and spoke, though you barely listened to what he said, your mind a whirl of anxiety.Â
âMadame Y/N, we are so honored to have you here.âÂ
The man named Soonyoung kept speaking, explaining other servantâs names, but none of them stuck with you because you were unable to focus on anything the moment you stepped foot inside the palace. The room was massive; it felt like an echo chamber. Every spoken word reverberated back into your ears like a bomb that made you feel unsteady on your feet and no one seemed to notice at first until a kind hand rested on your forearm.Â
âMadame⊠are you alright?âÂ
The color in your skin had gone wrong. Jieun could see the chillbumps rising on your arms as you swayed ever so slightly along with Soonyoungâs words. It wasnât like her to act out of turn, but she was happy she had put her hand on you when she did and saw the discomfort in your eyes.Â
âNo. I feel like Iâm going to be sick.âÂ
Those words got everyone in motion. You hadnât wanted so much attention and yet at the mention of being ill, you found yourself on a sofa with your feet up and a wet cloth on your forehead as the pretty girl who had first spoken to you watched over you closely.Â
âPerhaps we could let Madame rest? I can stay with her and we can finish the tour when she is feeling like herself again.âÂ
Soonyoung wanted to argue with Jieun and tell her that there wasnât time for all of the drama, but one more look at you and the pitiful look on your face had him agreeing. âI will let the monseigneur know whatâs happening. Find me as soon as sheâs feeling better.âÂ
The silence that followed the moment that Soonyoung closed the door behind him left you with a sigh of relief and put a smile on Jieunâs face. âIâm sure that is a welcomed change, Madame. I apologize for overwhelming you. Iâm sure between your travels andââÂ
âIâm alright, I promise. Couldâwould it be wrong of me to ask you to just call me Y/N? Your name is Jieun, right?âÂ
The apprehension was clear on Jieunâs face, but there was something about you that made her agree. She knew that if the queen heard her call you anything other than a proper title, she would be reprimanded, but it was nice to be treated differentlyâsimilar to an equalâfor once.Â
âYes, MadaâY/N. Thatâs my name. IâIâm actually the monseigneurâs cousin.â A shy smile pulls at her lips and Jieun shifts closer to you to adjust the cloth on your forehead. âWe will be family soon." You canât help but notice how her brows furrow even slightly and how she swallows hard, using her thumb to keep the cloth from your eyes. âHopefully. Iâas long as you and the monseigneur find no disagreements with the arrangement, I mean.âÂ
It was such a peculiar choice of words for Jieun to use in your opinion, but instead of questioning her, you choose to offer her a smile and nod. âOh, thatâs lovely. Iâm certain that as long as I meet his standards, we can move along with the marriage. Theyâve already paidââ Pressing your lips together, realizing how crass you sound in your words, you wrinkle your nose and try again. âA generous dowry was offered and accepted. My kingdom is very appreciative of this arrangement. Itâs a duty Iâm happy to uphold.âÂ
Jieun knew how this worked. She had done this so many times, with so many other women and yet as she sat with you like this now, it was the first time it made her heart ache. You were too good for this. She feared for you. âIâm certain you are... Iâhowever, I know this isnât my place, madaâY/N, but may I offer some advice as a resident of Aetherial Grove?â Giving a quick glance to the door before avoiding your eyes directly, Jieun speaks through a strained smile. âKeep your head down and please stay out of the forest. Donât go out at night.âÂ
The warning seems genuine, perhaps a sweet word for someone who might be afraid of the dark until you laugh under your breath and Jieunâs gaze finally meets yours. You can see just how serious she is, how her nose flairs and how she looks from the door once again and back to you whispering please before adding once again, âDonât go out at night, Y/N.âÂ
Jieunâs words, much like your fatherâs, were echoing in your mind as you finally were being led through the palace with the girl by your side. She had seemed so sincere, and yet the moment that Soonyoung had returned to check on you, a facade had gone back up. You were no longer Y/N; you were once again Madame and now you were being led to what would become your rooms.Â
âUntil the wedding and after the coronation, of course. Iâm sure you understand. The rooms are a bit smaller than the queenâs, but I hope they will suit you.âÂ
You werenât sure what Soonyoung thought you were used to as you looked around the spacious rooms. If you chose to, you wouldnât have to see anyone else in the palace. You had an entire wing to yourself and servants that would answer directly to you, including Jieun. Of course, you knew that your choice wasnât your own and there would be no staying in your rooms and being alone.Â
âThis is wonderfulâmore than I could possibly ever nââ
âSoonyoung!âÂ
The raised voice made your heart begin to race instantly. While there had been a lot of voices and too much commotion around your arrival, no one had raised their voice once since you had arrivedâthat was until this man. You watch as Soonyoung swallows hard and rubs his lips together as if to steady himself before he turns towards the open doors to your salon and towards a handsome man dressed only like who you could assume to be royalty. This couldnât beâ
âMonseigneurâŠâÂ
Too soon. You had arrived far too quickly for Jihoonâs liking. They had barely gotten Isabelleâs things out of this room before they were moving yours in. Jihoonâs head was busting, his stomach was in knots, and you looked like a fragile doll ready to be broken with eyes wide with fear.Â
âKeep her away from me; is that understood?âÂ
While Jihoon was speaking much quieter now, you could still make out his words as Soonyoung shuffled closer to him. You could so clearly see that there was a disdain for you written on the princeâs face and yet he hadnât said a word to you. This was the first time he had seen you. Did he even know your name?Â
Stepping forward, you hear Jieun mutter madame under her breath as you clear your throat and offer Jihoon a soft smile. âNo, itâs okay, Jieun. Monseigneur?â Ignored. Jihoon barely shifts his eyes towards you, tilting his head almost like a wounded animal when you take another step in his direction. âPrince Jihoon⊠IâmââÂ
âY/N Y/L/N, of the Kingdom of Thornwood. Yes, Iâm aware of your name. Iâm busy, as you can see, madame.â He knew he was being cruel from the getgo, but that look of shock in your eyes was better than seeing you dead on the forest ground. âSoonyoung, with me. I have things to do. Good day, Madame.âÂ
3
It had been two months since you had arrived in Thornwood. While others seemed overjoyed by this fact, you were growing more miserable every single day. There had been times when Jihoon had been forced to be in the same room with you or to be at events with you, but otherwise he had spoken no more than a dozen words since your arrival.Â
Today was no different. Today was the official public announcement of your engagement to the prince. Apparently no flaws had been found in youâhe had deemed you good enough and you would get to suffer by his side until you died.Â
âYou look beautiful, Y/N.âÂ
At least you had Jieun and moments of privacy where you had a bit of normalcy. Smiling at the girl in the mirror. You lift the bracelet from the vanity in front of you as Jieun adds finishing touches to your makeup. âI donât feel beautiful, but thank you.âÂ
Jieun could see the changes that had been slowly occurring in you since your arrival. Your smile was different. Your light was different. You were becoming resigned to a life of loneliness and while it wasnât fair... perhaps that was the sacrifice you and Jihoon would both have to make in order to make this marriage work. This was the farthest that any of the women had ever made it. Some had gotten scared off in hours, some injured in the matter of days, and others killed after a week. You were sad but alive after two months. That was a triumph to be celebrated.Â
âThen I will work harder. Make sure you look even more gorgeous in your dress for the party. Your bracelet is a very good choice.âÂ
You admired Jieunâs resilience. She was easily your closet friend in the kingdom and to say that you valued her presence would be an understatement. Smiling at the piece of jewelry now around your wrist, you run your fingertips over the closed clasp and think back to the moment that it was given to you just days before you had left Thornwood. âMm, it is beautiful. It was a gift from a dear friend. Iâd be lying if I said I didnât miss him.â There was something beautiful and gut wrenching about the twisted golden thorns circling your wrist. The design was so delicate and yet in itâs simplicity, you felt a pang of home sickness.Â
âOh? Iâit wasnât my place.âÂ
Lowering your arm into your lap, you smile at Jieun in the mirror as you shake your head. You knew it was a bold choice to wear the bracelet. It wasnât a gift from your betrothed, and yet you hadnât received a gift from Jihoon. You had little fear that he would even notice a bracelet on your wrist anymore than he would notice you in the room for longer than he had to. âItâs fine, Jieun. No harm done. Iâll have something to far outshine it soon enough, wonât I?âÂ
Your words seem to ease Jieunâs mind, but they only cause yourself to spiral. You can already feel the weight of the ring on your finger and wonder if that weight will be worth the price.Â
In his own room, Jihoon was thinking much the same. He had already felt the weight of the box in his jacket pocket and it felt as if it weighed an impossible amount. It wasnât his life that he felt that he was ruining, but yours.Â
He had gone out of his way to avoid you over the past two months. It had been equally as difficult as it had been easy. His mother was furious with him and his behavior, and yet you were still breathing and now you were going to be officially named as his future queen. All that he had done had been for the sake of his kingdom and, in his own twisted way, for you.Â
It wasnât that Jihoon didnât have a desire to know you. You were stunning. He had found many of the other women who had been brought to the palace beautiful, but the first day you had been brought in, he knew that he was in trouble. You were a breath of fresh air with how you lit up the room until he spoke you with such unkind words and he watched your smile fade. It was a hefty price to pay to keep you at a distance, but a distance was safe. At a distance, he could observe and yearn. There was no true danger in that as long as you followed the rules.Â
You were as intelligent as you were beautiful. Jihoon knew about all of the books you were requesting in the palace library. If they happened to not be found, he made sure they were the next time you had them in your mind. He knew that you loved fresh air, and as terrified as that made him, as long as it was during the daylight hours, he would permit it. So one day you woke to learn that there were horses at your disposal in the palace stable.Â
And yet, with all the things that Jihoon tried to provide for you, he watched your spirit diminish daily. You made friends with the staff easily, despite knowing that the queen wouldnât like it. In that way, you were much like him and that made it even easier for him to learn about how truly depressed you were.Â
Standing in front of the floor-length mirror, Jihoon stretches his arm out, allowing Soonyoung to adjust his sleeves as he listens to Junhui, the palace chef, explain the menu for the nightâs event.Â
âDuck confit served with roasted potatoes, cauliflower gratinââÂ
âTell me again what she said, Junhui.âÂ
This was the third time that Junhui had attempted to make his way through the entirety of the menu for the prince to interrupt him and want to talk about you. While he enjoyed having you in the palace and your frequent visits to his kitchen, at the moment he wished he had never divulged that information to Jihoon. Sighing into his words, Junhui lowers his head before lifting it once again to meet Jihoonâs eyes in the mirror. âWhy are you obsessing over it?âÂ
âYou know why.â Shaking out his hand, Jihoon scowls at Soonyoung and Junhui each as he turns from the mirror, deeming himself dressed. âIâmâthis is happening tonight and then in less than a month sheâll be my wife. She hates meââÂ
âBecause you want her to, Jihoon.â It was Soonyoung who spoke up this time. He knew that if this were anyone else in the palace, they would be reprimanded for how they spoke to Jihoon, but he had been chosen to be his butler for a reason. He was the same age as the prince. They had grown up in the palace together, as close as brothers could be without sharing blood. He knew every detail of Jihoonâs secrets and regrets. âYou purposely hurt her to keep her awaââÂ
âAnd sheâs alive! For fuckâs sake, Soonyoung. What would you have me do? Waltz into her salon and profess my affection? Tell her about what I am." Scoffing into his words, Jihoon tugs roughly on the lapels of his expensive jacket, feeling the threads shift at his strength. âMy darling, Y/N... I regret to inform you of my terrible curse. Iâll never be able to show you true affection, dear, out of fear that I might remove your windpipe with my teeth.âÂ
With Jihoonâs words, you could have heard a pin drop at how silent the room had gone. He knew what Soonyoung and Junhui wanted to say to himâthe same thing everyone always did; this wasnât his fault. Jihoon knew all too well that it was his fault. He couldnât control the beast and that was his fault.Â
âLetâs get this over with.â
4
Your life was now one massive echo chamber. As you stood in the middle of the ballroom with people moving around you, it was as if nothing that was being said made it to your ears. Instead of intelligible words, you found muffled and warbling phrases muddling together as you nodded along. The only thing keeping you grounded to the marble under your heels was the champagne flute in your fingers that kept being refilled.Â
âSuch a handsome couple. Truly, we are blessed. Think of the children she will bless the kingdom with.âÂ
Jihoon couldnât even find it in himself to force a fake smile as members of his extended family regarded you like well-kept livestock. He knew the duty to the kingdom. His was to become king and to take a queen, and that was why you were even in this room and near him in the first place, but the fact that they expected him to put a child in you. How was he going to be able toâThe bile was sitting in his throat. It was too close to dark and Jihoon could feel the rumbling in his head as he dug his nails into his palm as you shifted closer to him to get out of someoneâs way.Â
âMy apologies, monseigneur.âÂ
Your voice was so small that it made the hair on Jihoonâs neck stand up. He could smell the champagne on your breath and he couldnât help how his eyes moved over your beautiful face and down your frame. Taking a calming breath, Jihoon shakes his head and carefully removes the flute from your fingers, placing it on a tray as a servant passes by. âQuite enough. They are trying to keep you inebriated and pliant. Youâll be sick in the morning.âÂ
Wrinkling your nose to Jihoonâs hushed words, you meet his eyes and barely hold back a scoff. You knew he wasnât wrong, but you were four glasses of champagne in and it made the night feel less like hell. âAs you wish.â The room was too loud without something in your hand, without your distraction. You could hear the gossip now. You could hear the compliments and their halfhearted meanings, but you were better at putting on a fake smile. âMm, canâwill you give me my ring now?âÂ
You just wanted to get this over with. Somehow that both broke Jihoonâs heart and brought him back to reality. He had made you this way. It was a fair question. You had endured a couple of hours of this and he had been watching the sun slowly fading behind the trees for the last half hour. âAs you wish.âÂ
The sound of Jihoon clearing his throat brought a hush over the room. You watch as he puts on the first fake smile of the night while opening and closing his fist at his side out of nerves. âThank you, each of you for spending the evening with us. On behalf of myself and Madame Y/N, we wanted to let you know how deeply grateful we are that you could share this important moment with us.âÂ
Jihoon was good at lying and yet as you watched him, transfixed on his frustratingly handsome face, you realized you knew he was lying through his teeth. There was something about his body languageâthe way his voice went up and down in octaves as he went through his well-practiced speech. He had planned places for people to laugh, for them to aww and coo; he was a puppet master working the strings so well, but you could see the strings for what they were just as well as you saw the pain in his eyes.Â
âItâs an exciting day.â Smiling along with the happy laughter, Jihoon looks down at this jacket to find you watching him carefully. You are the only one who sees his facade break for a moment as he takes the ring box from his jacket and you are the only one who sees how his fingers tremble with fear as he removes the delicate ring. âA giâgift for my beautiful betrothed...âÂ
The stuttering of his words is the first real indication to everyone in the room that Jihoon might be breaking and at the first sign of a muttered word, you arenât sure why it puts you into motion, but it does. A wave of desire to protect the man in front of you from anything, including anxiety or embarrassment, puts a smile on your face and has your left hand lifted towards Jihoonâs hand. âAnd what a stunning gift it is, monseigneur. Iâm truly honored that Iâll share my life with you.âÂ
You were a beautiful liar. Jihoon could see and almost smell the lie on you, but he was so thankful to you as he slid the diamond ring on to your finger. Your eyes kept him steadfast and calm as the rest of the room erupted in cheers. Not even the rumble in his ears and tingling at the back of his neck stood a chance in that moment as Jihoon leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your knuckles, keeping his eyes locked with yours.Â
There was a shift in the air with that kiss. A breath of hope filled your lungs seeing the look in Jihoonâs eyes. Would things finally change? Could you find a way to love your new home and your soon-to-be husband?Â
Fingers wrap around yours as Jihoon laughs under his breath, accepting well wishes for you both. You are thankful for him keeping you grounded, much like your champagne had once been. You find yourself even more thankful when he excuses you both under the excuse that you are tired and he must allow his beautiful fiancĂ©e to get her rest.Â
âOh, thank God. I felt like I was going to suffocateââÂ
The moment the doors shut behind you and Jihoon, you feel his hand drop from yours, leaving you feeling confused and cold. You watch as he runs his fingers through his hair and rocks his head from left to right as if to release the tension in his neck before he turns his attention back to you with a now familiar disappointed look on his face.Â
âGo to your room, Y/N. Itâs going to be night soon.âÂ
This was all you were getting from Jihoon after such a touching moment? Where had the man who had slipped the ring on your finger and looked so deeply into your eyes gone? âIâIâm not tired, yeââÂ
âAnd I donât care. This isnât about your ability to sleep. Do as you are told.â It was getting harder to keep himself calm as you scoffed at him. Jihoon could see your lips moving; he could hear the dull mumble of your words, but it was difficult to make out the words. Something else was talking over his senses and Jihoon knew that this wasnât going to be a good night. âShut up, for the love of God. I put that fucking ring on your finger so you will obey me! Go to your goddamn room and lock the door, Y/N!âÂ
Stunned by Jihoonâs outburst, you stumble back on your heels in an attempt to get away, only to feel your balance waver. Fingers wrap tightly around your wrist above your bracelet and you meet Jihoonâs angry eyes, noticing for the first time a slight shift in their color. His once dark brown eyes seem golden as he looks from your face down to the bracelet, his lips curling in anger. âI told you that you drank too much... And what the fuck is this?âÂ
âLeave me alone, Jihoon.âÂ
Once again, your voice was soft and too small, almost breaking Jihoonâs heart, but he wasnât the one that you were dealing with anymore. The jealousy flaring in him wasnât a normal occurrence; this side of him came with the predator that was ready to run free with the moon rising in the sky.Â
âIâll do what I want since you seem to do the same.â Using just the strength in his fingers, Jihoon breaks the fragile clasp of your bracelet, ignoring your sobbing pleas for him to stop. You both watch as the gold thorns slip from your wrist and clatter to the ground at Jihoonâs feet. âNow, obey me.âÂ
Tears streaked your cheeks and down your neck as you leaned against the door of your room. Clutching the broken bracelet to your chest, you sob openly, wondering if the sound you are hearingâthe wailing growlâis coming from you or your imagination. By the time that you are calm enough to think clearly, the sound is gone. You find yourself alone and numb, with pieces of your home shattered in your hand, much like your heart inside your chest.Â
5
It was too bright. There was the smell of copper in his nose and Jihoonâs body felt as if he had been trampled by a stampede of horses. Turning onto his back, he rests his forearm over his eyes and groans, the now too familiar feeling of the forest floor under his bare back.Â
Everything had happened too quickly and Jihoon had barely made it off the palace grounds before his body had been torn apart by his curse. It hurt every single time, and every time he could remember it in detail. He supposed that was the point. A curse wasnât meant to be pleasant. He was being punished. His family was being punished. That was why his muscles were torn fiber by fiber, his bones broken bit by bit, and his skin ripped until nothing human was left of himâonly the beast.Â
To anyone looking at him, unknowing what they were seeing, Jihoon would look like a bear. A great, large black bear with golden brown eyes that had tormented Aetherial Grove from the moment that he had reached puberty. His mother and father had thought that the manâs curse had been a lie. Perhaps his threat had been that Jihoon almost died during childbirth, but no, it was much worse. Instead, they had witnessed their precious son shifting into a monster and slaughtering half of their palace staff after becoming slightly upset.Â
What was worse about Jihoonâs curse was the morning after the beast would take hold of him. Not only would his body feel as if it had been in fact torn apart at the very fiber, but he could remember down to the second what the beast had done. He could see every person he had killed or mauled but he had no way to prevent it. No matter how hard Jihoon tried, every single princess would wander out of the palace at night due to stupidity or curiosity and each time the beast would claim them.Â
That was why Jihoon treated you the way he did. That was why he kept you at a distance and made you hate him. He couldnât kill you if you were never around him.Â
âJihoon.âÂ
Wincing at Soonyoungâs voice, Jihoon turns on his side and pulls his legs up towards his stomach. Of course he would already be looking for him. He was grateful, but there were days when he wished everyone would just let him vanish or let him die. Was he worth this?Â
âCome on. I have clothes... Iâyou need to come back quickly. Your fatherââ This wasnât something that Soonyoung wanted to tell Jihoon. He could already see the realization in the princeâs eyes as he took the clothes from his hand and swallowed the air as if it were water. âIâm sorry. IââÂ
âStop. I donât wantâfuck.â Jihoonâs clothes felt foreign against his skin as he quickly dressed himself, hearing his heart in his ears. This was just one more thing that the curse was taking from him. âIs heââÂ
âNo. No, heâs justâthe doctor says before the day is over. Your mother told me to find you as quickly as possible.â Â
Jihoon didnât need to hear anything else. He didnât want to hear anything else. He was feeling far too many emotions at once while trying not to let a single one of them bubble to the surface as he walked quickly in front of Soonyoung towards the pair of waiting horses.Â
On a good day, any of the palace horses would struggle to trust Jihoon; animals were smarter than normal humans by a long shot. Today was not a good day; every tug at the horses reigns had the animal fighting for control and more terrified of what was on her back.Â
âPlease⊠Iâm trying!â Yelling wasnât helping, but Jihoon was swallowing back the bile in his throat as he saw the palace come into view at the treeline. He was so close. He just needed the horse to push forward for a little while longerâand then it happened; perhaps Jihoon had been too sharp with his heel into her flank but the horse had enough and Jihoon felt the wind knocked out of his lungs as his back met the ground.Â
You knew something was off at the palace. Everyone was on edge and yet no one would tell you anything. Something had gone from the moment that the engagement party had ended, and then when you had woken up, it was worse.Â
You had heard loud yet hushed muttering from every corner that would silence the moment you came into few. You werenât privy to a single thing and yet the ring on your finger told you that you should be. Werenât you going to be important to them? Shouldnât you already be important?Â
Outside was better. The palace always felt suffocating to you. From the first day you had walked it, not only had it become your echo chamberâevery word reverberating back a thousand times into your brainâbut also it had sucked the air from your lungs. You knew that Jihoon preferred you to stay inside, even during the day, but today was one of the days when you didnât feel much like doing anything he wanted.Â
The palace gardens were filled with beautiful things. Flowers, vines, treesâanything you could think of you might find in front of you and yet it made you sad as you thought back to the shards of gold now laying on your vanity. You had tried to piece back together your treasured bracelet only to make it worse. The clasp had held the delicate overlapping thorns together and when Jihoon had broken it, there was nothing left to keep them from falling apart. That was much like your heart as you had sat in front of the vanity and struggled uselessly, watching the bracelet become unrecognizable. There was only the memory of when you had received it now and you would hold it close to your heart and cherish it forever.Â
You hadnât known many boys in Thornwood. Your father was a strict king when it came to his kingdom and his daughter. It had been in your early teenage years when you had finally met Kim Mingyu and he was the first boy your father hadnât instantly run off.Â
Mingyu was the son of a duke. In your fatherâs eyes, perhaps one day if nothing better came along that might be a suitable match, but it was more than thatâyou had been happy to just have a friend. It wasnât until you were older, months before the letter came from Aetherial Grove, that you realized something different might come from your relationship with Mingyu. While you had never considered him in that light before, there was something about the possibility that made you take a step back and really picture it only to have the picture torn in front of your face by a royal letter.Â
âSo, donât make fun of it... Itâs not perfect; Iâve never done work with gold before.â You had fondly watched Mingyu as he fumbled slightly with the delicate clasp of the bracelet before finally managing to secure it on your wrist. âMaybe itâs not half bad. I just wanted you to have a little piece of home while youâI mean in your new home, Princess.âÂ
Your piece of home and piece of your best friend was now shattered by someone you were starting to despise. Trying your best to push the angry and painful thoughts from your mind, you walk closer to the edge of the garden, looking out towards the treeline. The forest was truly beautiful. You could understand the appeal and why many wanted to explore it, though you had been forbidden to do so, even on horsebackâso why was it that someone was coming out of it now?Â
Squinting slightly to the brightness of the morning sun, you tilt your head before shock registers within you as you watch the horse buck hard. Your eyes follow Jihoon as he falls backwards from the horse and lands in the tall grass hidden from your view, causing your heart to sink. âOh my god, Jihoon!âÂ
By the time you make it on foot to Jihoon and Soonyoung, the butler is down from his horse and on his knee beside the prince. With your hand at your stomach and tears stinging your eyes, you quickly move to the other side of Jihoon and do the same without regard to your dress or your legs as the ground bites into your knees angrily. âJihoon? What the hell happened, Soonyoung?âÂ
You were different than any other woman that had come to Aetherial Grove by far. Even as Soonyoung checked over Jihoon for injuries, being careful not to move him too quickly, he watched you curiously, surprised by your quick arrival. âIâthe horse got spooked, I think. She threw him. Heâsâthereâs blood. Monsâ Jihoon?âÂ
Anxiety and fear had your stomach in knots as you saw the blood from the back of Jihoonâs head on Soonyoungâs fingers. Wrapping your fingers around Jihoon's, you whine his name, watching his eyelids flutter for a moment before he groans in pain and slowly opens his eyes, starting to come to.Â
âFuckââ Attempting to sit up, Jihoon hisses in pain and tightens his fingers around yours before laying back down for a moment. âStupid fucking mare..." Jihoon knew it wasnât the horses fault, but the pain radiating through his back and his head made him want to lash out at something. âI need to get to the palaceâFather.âÂ
Using your free hand, you put a light amount of pressure on Jihoonâs shoulder when he tries to sit back up. âJust wait, Iâplease? You can wait a moment. You are bleeding, JiââÂ
âStâstop coddling me. Iâm fine.â Moving his hand to wrap it around your wrist where your bracelet had been the night before, Jihoon lightly draws a circle over your pulse point with his eyes still closed. ââM fine. I have to get to the palace. Father needs me.âÂ
Nothing that Jihoon was saying made sense to you, but Soonyoung simply nodded along while gently moving your hand from Jihoonâs shoulder.
âI know. Perhapsââ Timidly meeting your eyes, Soonyoung almost winces before speaking. âI could put the prince on the horse with you. Iâve seen you ride... I thinkââÂ
âDonât be ridiculous, Soonyoung. I can do it alone.âÂ
âOf course.âÂ
When you and Jihoon speak up almost at the same time, Soonyoung looks taken aback, his eyes moving from one person to the other before he sighs and settles on the prince. âLet her help. SheâJihoon, she wants to help.âÂ
You shouldnât have to help. You shouldnât be seeing him like this, weak and flustered. He was going to be the king, your king. More importantly, as things were progressing, Jihoon was going to be your husband and now you were having to mother him already. Pathetic. Lee Jihoon was pathetic and unworthy of the throne and you.Â
Without another word, Jihoon lets you and Soonyoung help him to his feet as he sways on his feet, unable to keep his balance. Lifting your hand, you carefully touch the back of his head furrowing your brows when Jihoon winces and jerks away from you in pain. âThis looksâyou should see the doctor, Monseigneur.âÂ
Your voice had started so strong and yet the more you spoke with Jihoon, your hand loosely in his, your confidence faltered. Sighing under his breath, Jihoon nods and glances towards you as you move to take the reigns of the horse that had bucked him off. With you next to her, there was a calm in the air. There was no fear in her eyes, almost as if she knew that you wouldnât let anyone, beast or man, harm her.Â
âJihoon. Justâcall me Jihoon. I donât like when you call me Monseigneur in private. Youâyouâre going to be my wife. It seems odd.âÂ
While you agreed, you could also remember this same man reminding you that you would obey him. You offer him a gentle smile and a nod as you carefully slip your foot into the stirrup before hosting yourself into the saddle. âOf courseââ Swallowing hard, you glance down at your hands on the horn of the saddle, the reigns loosely draped over your fingers. âJihoon.â You had said his name many times, and even when you were terrified for his wellbeing, saying it now at his request felt different.Â
Furrowing his brows tightly, Jihoon could feel the air around him shift. There was something about you. From the moment that you had stepped foot in Aetherial Grove, things were different. It wasnât just that he was trying to distance himself from you; it was something else and he couldnât quite put his finger on it.
With a few muttered curses and a disgruntled groan, Jihoon finds himself seated behind you with his hands hovering over your waist. You could feel the warmth of them through the layers of your dress and even the boning in your corset, so much so that it was difficult to not let a small smirk pull at your lips when you urge the horse to take a step forward and feel Jihoon finally grab ahold of you for stability.Â
âMay I ask you something?âÂ
Despite your ability to keep the horse much steadier than he had, Jihoon still found himself wincing with each step. He almost felt every stone under the horseâs hooves as you carefully directed her towards the palace. Swallowing hard to your question and tone, Jihoon chews on his cheek before glancing back to where Soonyoung was following at a moderate distanceâalmost too far, leaving Jihoon to defend for himself with you.Â
âI suppose. Is something wrong?â He knew that was the wrong question to ask the moment it left his mouth. Closing his eyes, Jihoon leans his head back towards the sky and listens to you take in a sharp breath as the horse shifts to the right and towards the palace stables.Â
Did he really want to know? You had a laundry list of things that were wrong, but that wasnât what you wanted to ask right now. âUm, itâs notâwell, in a way. I donât wish to seem unappreciative or spoiled, butââ Sighing under your breath, you furrow your brows, deciding to start over. âWhat I mean is, I am just wondering if there is something about me you find unpleasant. Perhaps you are unhappy with this arrangement? Iâm not attractive or intelligent enough to be your queen and in which case, Monseigneur, perhaââÂ
âStop it. What are youââ Unconsciously digging his fingers into your sides at your corset, Jihoon grits his teeth, feeling the frustration rising in him. He knew this was his fault and while he hadnât planned on changing it, he also didnât want you as miserable as you seemed right now. âYou arenât unpleasant. I donâtâyou arenât unpleasant to me, Y/N.âÂ
Straightening your back out of surprise, you take in a deeper breath at the strength of Jihoonâs grip. It wasnât just that his touch had tightened; it was how he was speaking to you. There was a layer of desperation in his voice, as if he were begging you to understand without truly saying it. âOâokay. I justââÂ
âNo, just nothing. You are beautifulâthe most beautiful woman Iâve ever seen. You are going to make a perfect queen, I have no doubt. Iââ Stopping short, Jihoon removes his hands from your waist, realizing that you have brought the horse to a stop. There was no need for him to be touching you anymore, no need for all of the dramatics and yet he couldnât help himself as you glanced back at him, your eyes low, causing your lashes to shield your gaze from him. Resting his index finger under your chin, Jihoon sighs softly and allows himself a moment to be a man who is truly engaged looking at his future bride. âYou are incredible and I hate myself for making you feel so small. One dayââÂ
Every word was reaching your ears and yet your heart was beating so fast and hard in your chest that you were afraid you might fall from the saddle and perish on the ground. Jihoonâs simple touch had your skin on fire and something lit inside of youâa desire that you had never felt in your life. You had come close to what you suspected had been desireâa brush of lips across yours from Mingyuâbut this, Jihoonâs thumb grazing your bottom lip and watching your lips part felt private and precious. Â
"Perhaps one day youâll learn why I amâwhy I have kept youââ Jihoon was struggling to find the right words and he could see Soonyoungâs panicked face as the man paced a few feet away. âI have to go, Madame. Remember the rules, please. That is all I ask of you.âÂ
You start to speak and to argue with Jihoon. You want him to finish explaining himself, but he jumps from one topic to the next and then suddenly the back of your knuckles are against his lips. You are left watching Soonyoung help him down from the horse and your eyes follow both until they disappear behind the palace walls.Â
Every part of Jihoonâs body was aching. It always was after a night of shifting, but the fall from the horse had only served to make it worse. Brushing his fingers over the back of his head, he and Soonyoung moved through the halls. Jihoon winces in pain, though his mind lingers on you and the range of emotions he had just taken you through. None of this was fair to you. He hoped and prayed that one day he might be able to explain this to you and you understood. He wished with every fiber of his being that he would be able to keep you alive, but the more he started to feel something for you, a longing, the rumbling from the beast trapped inside of him grew louder and more angry with jealousy.Â
6
âMon amourâŠâÂ
It was difficult for Jihoon to watch his mother grieve while his father took his last breaths. He was expected to stay strong and on the surface he did. He showed little to no emotion. Jihoon was a rock for his family and especially his mother, but on the inside, the son that his father had raised was devastated as he watched his father pass. He wanted nothing more than to run from the room and lock himself away in his rooms to get rid of the pressure behind his eyes.Â
âComeâcome here, mon fils.â Beckoning Jihoon closer, his mother sobs softly through the words before taking his hand and bringing it to her heart, using him as the anchor he would have to be. âIâmon fils.âÂ
Jihoon knew without his mother even saying the words what she was thinking. He knew what came next. The mourning period. The funeral and the burial, but most importantly, he would sooner rather than later now go from crown prince to king. âI know, maman. Iâll take care of it all. You shouldâIâll have Jieun help you to your rooââÂ
âNo! Not yet. I canât leave him, Jihoon.âÂ
The tears that Jihoon was trying to keep at bay were harder to push back now as his mother pulled from him and clung to his fatherâs arm. He didnât understand that sort of love, though he had witnessed it through them his entire life. He hoped for that sort of love. It made him think of you and how confused you must be not knowing what was truly happening in the palace.Â
âOkay, Iâm sorry, maman. I knowâŠI wonât make you leave. Iâm sorry.â Brushing his lips against the top of her head, Jihoon feels his mothers grief wash through him in how her body trembles. Leaning his head back towards the ceiling as he takes a deep breath to keep his emotions at bay, he nods once and finds Wonwoo by his fatherâs bed with a solemn look on his face. âStay with her, please. Until she is ready to leave, you and Jieun. I needâI have to do something.âÂ
Even stepping out of the room and into the hall, Jihoon could feel a bit of the weight lifting from him but what replaced it was worse. Clenching his fist over his chest, he takes a deep breath as he leans against the wall hidden from prying eyes. Somehow the anger and disappointment that he felt every day were nothing compared to the feeling he was overwhelmed with now as Jihoon tried to force himself forward towards your room.Â
Everything had gone deadly silent on the side of the palace where you resided. You knew that you were a bit of distance from the kingâs rooms and Jihoonâs but usually you could hear servants in the hallways going about their tasks and tending to the queen, but today there was nothing. It was making your anxiety all that much worse after the morning and your interaction with Jihoon.Â
The prince was truly an enigma to you. While you wanted to hate him, and in some ways perhaps you did resent him, you couldnât find it in your heart to truly allow yourself in your heart to hate Jihoon. There was something inside of him that wanted to be close to you. You had sensed it more than once now and even if the other part of him was pushing you away, the man who had looked deeply into your eyes and taken your breath away with a simple touch had your mind spiraling.Â
Sitting at your window, you lean your head back against the wall with a book in your lap. You had started to read it hours ago now, but every word led you back to where you were nowâyour eyes on the trees as their leaves moved with the wind as it picked up in speed. There was a storm coming. You hated storms. You always had, but back in Thornwood you had distractions and protection. You had run to your father or mother, who would keep you close. You had let Mingyu wrap his arm around you, shielding you from the soundsâas soon as Mingyu enters your mind again, you push him out. Since the previous day's incident with your bracelet, it seemed he wouldnât leave your thoughts alone.Â
The rain starts calm, with large drops that hit your window with dull thuds but quickly, but with the wind getting stronger so does the rain. Wincing, you close your book and recoil slightly from the sounds of the water assaulting your window when a knock at your door startles you even more, causing you to gasp in surprise.Â
âY/N?âÂ
Jihoon knew he should wait for you to answer the door or at least speak, but the sound of your fear takes away his logic. He had asked for you to lock your door but this was one time he was glad you rarely listened to him when his eyes scanned your parlor to find you with your hands over your head sitting by your window. The pain that he had been feeling from the loss of his father is shifted to the side in place of his concern for you as Jihoon mutters your name and quickly moves across the room and kneels by your side, timidly reaching for your hands. âWhatâs happened? Whyâare you okay?âÂ
Embarrassment washes over you when you realize that Jihoon is in your room, seeing you cower from a few loud noises. You are certain this isnât who he or anyone wants for the queen. Though no one truly looked to the queen in a time of perill, you still should be able to lead and command, and here you were meeting Jihoonâs eyes, attempting to feign courage. âOâof course. Iâmânothing happââÂ
Jihoon could tell you were lying as you spoke. He had seen the times you lied and thought to some people you were a decent liar; with him, he could see right through it. Starting to call you out on it to cut you off, he doesnât have to at the first strike of lightning and boom of thunder. The act you are putting on shatters as Jihoon watches you tightly close your eyes and visibly shake as the sound reverberates around the room.Â
Storms had never bothered Jihoon; in fact, in many ways he enjoyed them. The walls of the palace made the rain louder and the thunderclaps seem to last longer, which in turn drowned out the rumbling he heard constantly. Clearly, you didnât feel the same way. You put on a good face; it was a beautiful one and a strong one, but deep down Jihoon could see how delicate and precious you were.Â
âMon angeâŠâ Muttering under his breath, Jihoon moves his gaze from you to the window, watching the rain angrily coming down to the earth. âI didnât know you were afraid of storms.â Speaking loud enough for you to hear him now, he slides his hand along the back of your arm towards your elbow, trying to get your attention on him fully. âBut IââÂ
âYou donât know anything about me, Jihoon.â You didnât mean to lash out at Jihoon; however, in the moment you felt raw. His words felt like needles and his touch felt foreign, because it was. No matter how much you wanted to be close to him, it was difficult to rely on someone who had spent so long pushing you away and treating you like a virus. âWhaâwhy are you here?âÂ
Your reaction to him was valid. While it stung, Jihoon understood where it came from. If Soonyoung had been there, he would agree that he brought this upon himself. Nodding along with you, he sighs and closes his hand, removing it from your arm to give you a bit of space. âI know. IâI apologize forâthereâs a lot that you just don'tâ" Leaning his head back, Jihoon feels your eyes follow him even as he closes his eyes and takes a calming breath, feeling the waves of emotions roll over him again. âI donât deserve your kindness with how I have treated you. There is a reason behind my actions but itâs not something I can explain toââ Â
âJihoon! Youâve been cruel. Youâve banished me toââ Wincing to another boom of thunder, you whimper and slide from the window seat into the floor next to Jihoon, feeling him shift to sit next to you. It takes a moment for you to regain your composure but he never rushes you; instead, Jihoon stays close without crowding you. âAll I know are these rooms and what I have been able to explore of the palace. You wonât let me off the grounds. I try to get close to you and you get angry at me. YouââÂ
Tears slip down your cheeks similarly to how the rain marks the glass of your window, and all Jihoon can do is watch and listen to you falter, finally speaking through your sobs. In his mind he knew why he had made you do all of these things and why he had pushed you away but to you it made no sense. It wasnât fair to you, just like it wasnât fair that you never knew anything that was happening in the palace you now called your home. âThere is so much I need toâY/N⊠Itâs difficult, but please try to understand that I have been attempting to shield you and keep you safe. I know that I have gone about it in a strange way and itâs not fairââÂ
âItâsâitâs not fair! What did I do to deserve this? Why did you make me come here, Jihoon? Why me?!â Finally pulling your legs up, you lean forward and rest your forearms on your knees burying your face against your arms, letting out sobs that only get louder with each deep rumble of thunder.Â
Jihoon knew that he hadnât been the one to make you come to Aetherial Grove but he felt responsible enough. You were breaking his heart as your body shook with grief and fear, something he understood all too well. Leaning his head back against the base of the window seat, Jihoon shifts his eyes down and to the side to keep an eye on you, not rushing you as you work through your emotions. Resting his arm over his chest, he carefully reaches for your fingers, circling his thumb over the diamond on your finger. âIâm sorry, Y/N. IâI wish I could fix it. Iâmy father, heââ Sighing, Jihoon looks away from you, feeling your fingers shift to hold on to him at another crash of thunder as he speaks. âHe died a few hours ago. Everything is going to change now.âÂ
The weight of Jihoonâs words hit you even as the thunder shakes your windows and you lift your head to look at him. That was why everyone was quiet and where everyone had been. Why had no one told you? Were you not important enough to know that the king had passed away? As soon as the anger starts to sink in for you and you think to complain, it passes when you see the look on Jihoonâs face. Yes, you were still upset and a lot of your frustration was with him but he was in pain. How could he not be? Then it dawns on you; he is the prince and a son. Heâs not allowed to mourn the same way around certain people. Those people wouldnât be you.Â
âOh, JihoonâŠâÂ
There is a soft compassion in your voice that almost instantly breaks Jihoon. It reminds him of how he had heard his mother speak to his father on so many occasions. Closing his eyes tightly, Jihoon tries to force himself not to let go, but when you turn towards him and lean against him, his resolve shatters. There were only a handful of times that Jihoon could even remember truly crying. He had been taught that this sort of emotion was weak and dangerous, but with you holding his hand, he didnât feel like anything could hurt him as he felt it all for the first time that day in waves.Â
7
Jihoon had been right; everything did change. There had been a few days of mourning and a moment to breathe before the air and ground had been ripped out from underneath you both. Suddenly your days were filled with wedding preparations and daily meetings with various members of Jihoonâs family as they helped walk you through not only expectations of your wedding but the coronation.Â
You had found yourself on more than one occasion wanting to find time to spend with Jihoon only to be whisked away without more than a dozen words spoken between the two of you. Even without the time you wanted, you could still feel the difference after the storm and after you had shared your feelings with Jihoon. He was different. While you could almost see the stress as it surrounded him like a blanket, you could also see the tenderness in his gaze as he looked at you. You could feel the same each time he would lift your hand and kiss the back of your knuckles before apologizing for once again being pulled away to a meeting, leaving you to deal with the wedding on your own.Â
âYouâve changed him.âÂ
There had been very few moments when you had spent an extended period of time alone with the queen, but today was one of them. The two of you watch as Jihoon once again excuses himself and with her words, your cheeks warm as they would be if you were standing too close to the fireplace. Pressing your lips together, you pick up the sample fabrics laid between the two of you when she smiles and reaches for your hand, taking your fingers into her own and squeezing them gently.Â
âI donât know how. And I know itâs been a difficult few months with us.âÂ
Hearing her voice break, you finally lift your head and meet Jihoonâs motherâs eyes with concern, sliding your hand into hers and offering her comfort. You watch as she smiles sadly and tilts her head, looking down at your hand as she adjusts the ring on your finger, remembering when Jihoonâs father had put it on her hand so many years ago.Â
âHeâs difficult, I know. We are difficult. Iâm not proud of howââ Shaking her head, she sniffs back her tears along with her words, choosing not to go on with them. âI hope that you can grow to love him. That you will learn to love one another. Heâs so special, Y/N. You are special; I feel it.âÂ
There was so much left unsaid. Not only from the queen but Jihoon. It seemed that almost everyone in the palace would skirt around things, keeping just enough information from you as if it would keep you pliant. Sighing, you tilt your head and smile at the woman watching her fingers adjust your ring with precision and care. âThank you, Madame. I havenât⊠Iâwell, if anything, I fear Iâve frustrated him more than anything. He just pushesââ Realizing that you are starting to complain about her son, your soon-to-be husband, and the soon-to-be king, you swallow hard and put a smile back on your face. âI will improve on my ability to adapt and obey my husband.âÂ
It wasnât much of a secretâyour discomfort and Jihoonâs seeming disinterest in you and your feelings. While Jihoonâs mother knew that most of what Jihoon had been doing had kept you healthy and alive, it still was a lot for you to handle. You had come from a completely different kingdom to a place where you were expected to follow a new set of rules, and you had your life turned upside down in the matter of days. Now just a few months later, it had happened again; you were being sent spiraling down the aisle.Â
âMm, and Iâm sure over time things will get easier... for the both of you.âÂ
You wished that the queen would say more. It was always like she wanted to tell you something, give more advice, and yet sheâd swallow it every single time before changing the subject back to the wedding or the coronation. You were left looking over the fabrics in your lap as she spoke softly enough for you to almost drown her out, leaving her voice a dull echo in the room as she planned much of it for you with Jieun.Â
Jihoon was growing tired of meetings already and he knew for the rest of his life this is what he had to look forward to. Sitting at the head of the table, he let the paper rest between his fingers as he pretended to look over it as much as he pretended to be listening to his cousin speak about the same topic for the last twenty minutes. None of this was important. He had more important thingsâin his opinionâto be doing, and you had looked so disappointed when he had once again been pulled away from you and the wedding planning.Â
It wasnât as if he had wanted this. He didnât want to be listening to budget adjustments and which kingdoms owed Aetherial Grove what. He knew most of them owed something, and to him it didnât matter. Aetherial Grove had more than enough to endure for centuries at this point, and he knew why. He dealt with the backlash of that deal almost every night, and every night that he wasnât getting his body torn apart, he was thrashing in his bed with nightmares.Â
âSo it might do us well to seek out some repayment from at least thirty percent of theseââÂ
âWhy? Where did you find that number?âÂ
It seemed that others in the room found it surprising that Jihoon had actually been following along, with how he had seemed to be staring off into the table. When he spoke, it caused several of the men in the room to shift uncomfortably and to straighten their backs, realizing their crown prince, the man they would call king in just a matter of two weeks, was listening to every single word despite him wanting to or not.Â
âIâfrom my research, JiâMonseigneur. It would benefit us. There is a royal wedding in less than a week and a coronation. IâIâm not certain that you understand how expensiveââ
âI understand that you all seem to think Iâm an idiot. You think that because I am new to this particular station and not yet fully seated that you can get by with whatever you wish; that wonât happen.â Pushing the papers from in front of him, Jihoon moves to stand, watching many of the others in the room do the same, but mostly Soonyoung and Wonwoo, who are ready to do what he commands. âLeave the other kingdoms alone. If the wedding and coronation are so expensive that you have to find ways to subsidise the budget, we can cut back on both. There is no need for all the fanfare. I doubt Madame Y/N would much disagree with me on this. Neither of us need some grand affairââÂ
âItâs for neither of you! Itâs for your kingdom, Monseigneur!â Having kept quiet for most of the meeting, Jihoonâs eldest uncle finally leans forward and raises his voice, causing the rest of the room to fall silent. âAs for what Madame Y/N wants, I donât care and I doubt many others do either. We appreciate her presence and she is a requirement, but she doesnât get a say in this. You barely get a say in this. You arenât king yet. We might have money to make this all work, but you need to learn the ins and outs of your kingdom before you go about throwing around your ego and making big decisions.âÂ
The room suddenly felt smaller; too small, as Jihoon stared at the older man, feeling his chest tightening. He knew there would be push and pull as he took his rightful place as king and knew there would be those who would think to know better than him; he just hadnât expected it to be those who had held his father in such high regard. âI care.âÂ
Jihoonâs voice is smaller than intended at first, causing his uncle to furrow his brows and lean forward to hear him better, but the second time that Jihoon speaks, he has the man and otherâs sitting back in their seats. âI care, what Y/N wants! You can have your wedding and your coronations, but you will not speak about her like that again. You wonât speak to me like that. This meeting is over, gentlemen. I have a fiancĂ©e to see to.âÂ
8
There were only 36 hours left before you would officially be Jihoonâs wife. Invitations had been sent out and guests were beginning to arrive from surrounding kingdoms, including your own. You had been thrilled when your mother and father had arrived and you had been able to see the pride in their eyes as you walked them through your new home.Â
It was easy to see that the benefit of your dowry was making a difference for them. You could see the difference mostly in your father. The stress that you had almost grown accustomed to seeing etched on his face was gone,replaced with happiness as he held your mother close and complimented every detail of the palace. You had felt the most sense of pride yourself when Jihoon had finally made time to meet your parents and put on his best face.Â
Over the time since his father had passed away, Jihoon had changed dramatically. You could see it; everyone could, and yet there was still something so distant about him that you were trying to figure out. He still wouldnât allow you the freedom you longed for and still kept you at a distance that left you cold and left your heart slowly splintering.Â
âOf course you are welcome to visit Y/N, and sheâperhaps she could visit you more often.âÂ
Jihoonâs words have your parentâs preening, your mother swooning over him and your father in awe, but to you, you can sense that heâs trying to get you out of the palace. You arenât even sure how you know, but you do, and itâs even more obvious to you when Jihoon meets your eyes and stumbles over his words before dismissing himself to get back to important matters.Â
âIâIâll see you later for dinâdinner.â The disappointment was evident in your eyes and Jihoon had to get away from it. You saw right through him and sometimes he was terrified that you saw more than he wanted. Did you know more than you let on? What if you knew about his curse? Would you hate him? Hate that you were marrying a murderer? Barely brushing his lips against your fingers, Jihoon blows out a panicked breath and slips out of the room. Meeting the eyes of a tall and broad man, he nods in his direction without asking who he is or why he is there. Instead, he moves quickly down the hall and out of sight, not hearing as Wonwoo announces the arrival of another guest.Â
âMadame. Monsieur Kim Mingyu, Duke of Leressair, has arrived.âÂ
You arenât sure why you hadnât expected Mingyu to accept your invitation, but seeing him for the first time in so many months has your heart in your throat. Quickly standing, you smooth your dress and listen as your father greets Mingyu, ushering him into the room towards the sofas.Â
âThank you.â Unable to keep his smile from growing too wide as he looks at you, Mingyu takes in a deep breath and lets it out a bit unsteadily. He almost hadnât accepted the invitation but the desire to see you at least one more time was too great and if it had to be like this, then so be it. âMadameââÂ
âStop it.â The playful smile on Mingyuâs lips as he uses your title makes your stomach tighten even as he reaches for your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips and kissing them gently, managing to linger just a second too long. âDonât call me that, please.âÂ
âMm, fine. Itâs wonderful to see you, Y/N. You lookââ Mingyu lets out another breath, trying not to overstep but it had always been difficult when it came to you and he wasnât sure if your prince was in the room or not. âCongratulations on your wedding. Iâm glad you invited me. Care to, uhâwanna show me around?âÂ
It was a bold attempt at getting you alone so you could talk freely, but it worked. You knew that your parents trusted Mingyu and you had no reason not to, despite your own heart beating out of your chest as you looked at him now. Offering him your hand, you smile as Mingyu carefully guides it through his arm to rest on his forearm before letting you lead the way.Â
The moment that you and Mingyu step out of the room, you know you arenât alone. You can feel eyes behind you and hear the muffled steps drawing your eyes over your shoulder as you frown at Wonwoo. âIâWonwoo⊠Iâm fine. I am just showing him around the palace. I donât need a sitter.âÂ
âNot my intention, Madame. Simply following protocol... You would rather IââÂ
âI would rather you didnât follow me. Please? I want to talk to my friend. If Jihoon needs me, Iâm certain any one of you can find me. I am not difficult to find and Mingyu is very obvious.âÂ
It was clear that Wonwoo wasnât sure about following your wishes, his eyes moving over Mingyu as the taller man offers him a simple smile, almost feigning innocence, letting you speak for him. âIf thatâs what you want, Madame...â Wonwoo had no reason not to like Kim Mingyu, but he already felt uneasy with him here.Â
Sighing, clearly exasperated, you tug on Mingyuâs arm and lead him forward. Nodding at Wonwoo, you watch the steward stay where he is, though his eyes follow you until you are out of sight.Â
âIs it always like this? You arenât allowed to justâI donât know, exist?âÂ
Finally, someone understood how you felt without you having to sit down and explain it to them. Pouting up at Mingyu, you turn towards the gardens and sigh under your breath. So often since you had arrived in Aetherial Grove, you had felt like a prisoner in a fancy cell and this was one of the only times you felt like you had a semblance of freedom. âYou have no idea, Mingyu. IâI shouldnât speak poorly of my new family.âÂ
âItâs between us, Y/N, as always. Your secrets are my secrets. That hasnât changed, dove.âÂ
The pet name slipping from Mingyuâs lips not only has your cheeks burning but also a bit of shame and excitement rushing through you as you lead him further into the gardens away from the palace to enjoy the privacy. The name was nothing romantic or anything you should be ashamed of, but it could be misunderstood. It had come simply from your wish to be as free as a bird all of your life. You had sat in your window and Mingyu had caught you so many times staring off at the sky and daydreaming that the name had stuck when he had asked you if you were going to fly away like a dove.Â
âNo, perhaps not, but it feels like itâs been so long since Iâve seen you now. Things are complicated here.â Sliding your hand along Mingyuâs arm, your fingers catch his briefly, feeling him almost attempting to keep your hand in his before you find your hand back at your side. Looking down at the flowers, you sigh under your breath, feeling Mingyuâs eyes on you, forever patient as always, though his eyes move along your face and down your body, studying you. âIâm not allowed to leave the palace and thereâs only so much I am able to do inside. Itâs suffocating. IââÂ
Mingyu watches you laugh; though he can tell the laugh is without humor, itâs almost sad, causing him to furrow his brows and move closer to you. Wrapping his fingers around your wrist where your bracelet once sat every day while you lived in Thornwood, he gently taps at your pulse point and smiles at you, almost feeling your stress flowing through your body as you stand amongst the various flowers. âYou what? Seriously, tell me. Iâm not going to run to the prince and tell him. I donât even know what he looks like. Iâve only heard stories.âÂ
You had seen Jihoon look at Mingyu as he had walked in, but clearly they hadnât been introduced; youâd have to fix that at some point. Mingyu was so important to you, and Jihoon was and would remain important. There was no ending marriage for someone like you. This was your one and only chance, and it terrified you to look at the person who you thought you were going to be spending that chance with, seeing the kindness in his eyes that you so rarely got from Jihoon.Â
âI feel like a prisoner sometimes.â Grimacing, you whine and tug your wrist from Mingyu, almost hating that heâs touching you when you feel so gross about your own words. You shouldnât feel that way about the people who were giving you so much and giving your kingdom even more. They were saving your people and they hadnât truly done anything wrong to you. It was more about how you felt, about how your heart felt. âIâm awful.âÂ
âStop, no, you not. You arenât happy, Y/N. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you.â Sliding his hands into yours, Mingyu turns you towards him and leans down to make you meet his eyes, watching you pout at him still. "Dove, you want me to steal you? Iâll do it. Iâll run away with you in a heartbeat.âÂ
It was a cute joke and a sweet dream. Laughing under your breath, you glance away from Mingyu even as your reaction makes his smile falter. He knew you wouldnât accept it. You were a child of responsibility and duty. This marriage was your duty and you wouldnât run away from it, no matter how much Mingyu tried to convince you otherwise. He wished with all of his heart that he had made you a ring instead of a bracelet and he wished even more right now that you were still wearing the bracelet.Â
âWell, the offer stands. Forever.â Lifting your hand slightly to look at your ring, Mingyu tries to judge it harshly but even he has to admit its fitting for your beauty. At least Jihoon had done that right, even if he wasnât keeping you happy. âI wishâitâs stupid of me, but I wish you were wearing your bracelet. Iâm sure the prince wonât allow it though.âÂ
The mention of your bracelet causes even the slightest smile on your lips to fade quickly as you think about the shards of gold sitting on your vanity. Lowering your eyes to the ground, you shake your head and lick your lips before trying to think of the best lie you can, not wanting to hurt Mingyu anymore than you have to. âIâno. Iâm sorry. It wouldnât be appropriate.âÂ
Shivering in the cold, Jihoon narrows his eyes as he watches you move deeper into the garden on another manâs arm. Jihoon trusted you. There wasnât really any reason for him to be concerned until this Kim Mingyu had shown up at the palace. The man hadnât even been on his radar until Wonwoo had found him and let him know that you and Mingyu had decided to walk alone. That on its own didnât have Jihoon where he was now, casually keeping his distance as he listened to you laugh softly at the manâs words and seemingly swoon over him; it was more how he was looking at you.Â
You seemed oblivious to it while not immune to Mingyuâs charm. That wasnât your fault; you were a woman whose betrothed had been pushing her away for months, and now a man you had known for years was showing you kindness and interest. The entire display was enough to make Jihoonâs stomach twist with something he wasnât used to feeling on his own without the beast provoking it: jealousy.Â
âNoâI, Y/N⊠I completely understand. It really wouldnât be. I just miss seeing it on your arm, thoughââ Laughing softly, Mingyu guides you by your wrist towards one of the concrete benches to sit down so he can do the same next to you, not realizing that Jihoon is watching so closely from the shadows. âItâs nothing compared to how pretty you are. Itâs really wasnât up to par with what I can make now. Iâve been practicing; in fact, I made you something. You know, as a wedding gift.âÂ
As always, Mingyu has your heart racing and your face on fire with his compliments. Shaking your head, you try to argue with him, but at the mention of a gift, you whine his name and draw your shoulders up towards your cheeks in an attempt to hide from his attention.Â
âNow, why are you doing that? Itâs nothing big, just a little thing, Dove. HereâŠâ
Clenching his fist at his side, Jihoon watches Mingyu take the small bag from his jacket as he feels the hair at the back of his neck stand up much like the hackles of an animal sensing danger. He didnât like this man. Mingyu didnât know boundaries. Where did he get off calling you Dove and giving you gifts days before you were getting married? You were Jihoon's... Taking a deep breath and letting it out under his breath, it comes out more of a growl than a breath as he watches you take the necklace from the pouch. You liked it. Your heart was racing. Jihoon could hear it from hereâthe beast could hear it. It pissed Jihoon off just as much as it pissed off the beast.Â
âOh my god, Mingyu. Itâs gorgeous. You really have gotten so good at this.â Tracing the golden bird in your palm, you frown slightly, feeling a pang of guilt over how much you like the necklace. You shouldnât accept it, and yet it feels like a piece of home to replace the bracelet that Jihoon had ruined and taken from you. Taking a deep breath, you hold it for a second before nodding and letting it out sharply, making up your mind. Youâd accept it and wear it. Jihoon didnât have to know. âWill you put it on for me?âÂ
You were too naive, and it made Jihoon want to be sick as Mingyu grinned, taking the necklace from you to do as you asked. Of course he would put the necklace on for you. It didnât mean the same thing to Mingyu as it did to you, but how could you know that? You were just a stupid little girl with her head in the clouds while Jihoon could read all the signs that Mingyu was throwing at you.Â
âSo beautiful and it looks perfect on you, Y/N.â Trailing his fingers along your neck even after heâs clasped the necklace, Mingyu leans his head around to look at you, watching you smile at his compliment. You were perfect and somehow you looked even more perfect with that necklace on. âPromise youâll try to wear it whenever you can? Remember me just a little bit, even when youâre a fancy queen?âÂ
Leaning back slightly as you laugh, you roll your eyes to Mingyuâs teasing, trying to tell him youâd try only to stop laughing or smiling at all when he presses his lips to your cheek closer to your jaw. âIâyes. Iâwe should go inside, Mingyu.âÂ
The kiss was enough to make Jihoon move, his hands now securely in his pockets as he put on a fake friendly face, moving through the garden as if searching for you. âOh, there you are, mon ange. Thatâs a pretty necklace.â Lifting his brow, Jihoon lets out a breath through his nose, meeting Mingyuâs eyes as he still speaks to you, watching you shift to sit on your own away from Mingyu. âWhoâs this?âÂ
You hadnât expected Jihoon to look for you. He never really had before and he had never, to your knowledge, called you anything other than your name or your title. Why was he calling you angel now? Putting your hand over the necklace in question, you feel your heart attempting to beat out of your chest as Mingyu smiles and half smirks up at Jihoon realizing who he is. âIâthank you. This is Kim Mingyu. HeâsââÂ
âMonseigneur, I presume? Kim Mingyu, Duke of Leressair. Iâm an old friendââÂ
âI see and you presume correctly, Monsieur.â Turning his attention from Mingyu, Jihoon presses his lips together before offering you his hand, waiting for you to take it. âWe should prepare for dinner. Allow our guests time to do the same. I have something I want to speak to you about anyway.âÂ
Jihoonâs eyes never leave you, even as you seem to struggle with your decision. Finally watching you put your hand in his, his lips pull up into something that resembles the half smirk that Mingyu had given him before he takes a step back, helping you to your feet. âWe will see you at dinner, Monsieur. Say goodbye, darling.âÂ
Between the feeling of Jihoonâs hand on yours and his intense gaze, you feel almost faint. This was different from what you were used to. You had never seen him act like this before, almost possessive over youâwas that what this was? A show of dominance? Glancing back over your shoulder as Jihoon guides you away from Mingyu, you furrow your brows and whisper your goodbye to your friend as he offers you a soft smile and a nod.Â
âIâll see you at dinner, Y/N.âÂ
Once inside the palace, the feeling of Jihoonâs hand around yours causes your anxiety to spike even higher. You find your mind racing as he leads you silently down the hall towards your rooms before finally stopping to push the door open and leading you inside and dropping your hand. Glancing around the room, you avoid his eyes and move towards one of your sofas when he finally speaks, stopping you in your tracks.Â
âDonât go anywhere with him alone again, and Iââ Struggling with what he knows he wants to say and what he has to say, Jihoon moves closer to you, carefully touching your arms, feeling you jump slightly. You were afraid of him. That was good and yet it still broke his heart. âYou canât wear this. Do you know how it would look?â Unable to see how your composure breaks, Jihoon carefully undoes your necklace, bringing the delicate chain into his hand along with the dove charm, leaving your neck bare.Â
Twice now he had taken home away from you. Tears slowly slide down your cheeks as you watch Jihoon move towards your vanity to lay down the necklace near the broken bracelet. You watch as he takes in a deep breath, picking up a piece of gold furrowing his brows at it, though you donât know what he is thinking; it just serves to anger you more. âCould you leave, please?âÂ
He deserved that. Your anger and the contempt in your voice. Gently putting the broken piece of the bracelet back with the others, Jihoon sighs and glances over his shoulder at you, seeing the tears drip from your face. Was this possibly worse than killing you? He hated both situations, but he also hated seeing that manâs hands on you and his lips against your skin. âNo, not yet. IââÂ
âWhy not? Thereâs nothing to say or do, Jihoon. I justâplease leave me alone.âÂ
The room seems too small as you close your eyes and wrap your arms around yourself, knowing that Jihoon is watching you so closely. You listen between your sobs to hear him leave the room but it never happens; instead, you open your eyes to find him sitting on the arm of your sofa, his eyes on his hands as he turns the ring on his index finger, slowly waiting for you to calm down.Â
âDo you hate me?âÂ
Another valid question for you to ask and yet again it broke Jihoonâs heart. You were leaving jagged pieces in his heart with almost every word and all Jihoon could do was shake his head and hope for a way to make this better. âOf course not. Y/N, Iâwe are getting married; how could I hate you?âÂ
âMarriage and your ability to care about someone donât go hand in hand, Jihoon. You could hate me and tolerate me as your wife.â Wiping your cheeks free of tears even as more fall, you move past him, feeling his eyes follow you. âAs long as I can stand by your side as a decent queen and provide an heir, Iâve met my purpose. I just need to keep my mouth shut and my legs open, right? Iâve been told it enough timââ
âJesus, fucking Christ, Y/N! Who told you that? It wasnât me.â Moving to his feet, Jihoon lifts his hands as you seem to recoil at his raised voice. He didnât want to scare you again, but you were spiraling and going off on a tangent once again. âI have never once saidââÂ
âYou told me to shut my mouth the night of our engagement party.âÂ
Jihoonâs brows furrow, his words dying in his mouth before heâs finished when you speak over him. He barely remembered that night at the party. He had made it out of the palace and off the grounds before shifting; he remembered more of what had happened in the forest and how the beast had killed every animal in its path. âWhat? I donâtââÂ
ââShut your mouth, Y/N and obey me.â You said that you put the ring on my finger and that I would obey you. Is that what you want from me now, Jihoon? Because thatâs what everyone else seems to think I should do.â Looking down at the ring on your finger, you furrow your brows at it, having grown to hate it. âProvide you children and obey you, day in and day out. Even if you yell at me and tell me to lock myself in my rooms for the rest of my fucking life.â Sniffing back tears hard, you defiantly meet Jihoonâs eyes even as you see the shock and pain behind them as you speak. âI hope I never give you a child.âÂ
While he wasnât going to say it to you now, Jihoon hoped the same. He was terrified that he would put something like himself inside of you. Not only would he curse another person by them being born like him, but heâd put that thing inside of you. But it wasnât the fact that he agreed with you that it hurt Jihoon, but that youâd say it out of anger. You hated him that much. âPerhaps you wonât. Time will tell, wonât it?â Running his fingers through his hair, Jihoon shakes his head and glances towards your window, knowing it was getting closer to dinner time. He wanted dinner over and done with as soon as possible. Everyone tucked away safely in their beds. âEverything I do, I do it for you.âÂ
Wrapping your arms around you at Jihoonâs words, you tilt your head, feeling a pang of resentment towards the man in front of you. âSo you say so very often with no explanation. Please⊠leave.â Your eyes follow Jihoon as he stands and moves towards you, stopping by your side to look at you, though you turn your head away, not wanting to look at him. You only feel his hand take yours and feel his lips brush over your knuckles as always before you head the door open and close to your room, leaving you alone.Â
9
"Oh, terribly so. Until she was 10 years old, I believe.âÂ
Hiding your face with your hands, you whine as your father tells yet another story to embarrass you hearing Jihoonâs mother coo at how adorable you are. Across the table from you, Mingyu grins at your reaction, using his napkin to wipe his lips as he furrows his brows and nods along.Â
âSheâs still afraid of storms, Your Majesty. She may have hid it well, but up to the day she left for thisâ" Choosing his words wisely, Mingyu nods at the Queen, shooting her a bright smile. âBeautiful kingdom, she would tremble and simply shut down at the first rumble of thunder. Iâm sure it hasnât changed. You would have to wrap her up in a blanket and keep her sheltered until it passed or sheâd suffer too much.âÂ
Mingyu was sharing too much. Shifting a bit uncomfortable in your chair, you reach for your wine once again when Jihoon takes it from you, taking a sip of his own and then offering it to you as he hums in appreciation.Â
âMm, Monsieur Mingyu is right. I found my darling Y/N during the most recent storm, afterââ Furrowing his brows, Jihoon clears his throat and chooses not to talk about his father, instead he smiles and shakes his head, looking over at you. âAnyway, she made it through just fine with someone simply by her side. Sheâs much stronger than some give her credit for.âÂ
You didnât need Jihoon to stick up for you. You couldnât shake the feeling of him trying just a little too hard, asserting his dominance a bit too much. By the end of the dinner, you find yourself feeling drained between his need to hover and Mingyuâs need to meet him at every level. At the beginning of the afternoon you hadnât noticed it, their preening, but it had become all too clear by dessert as you hoped and prayed for dinner to come to an end.Â
Jihoon wanted nothing more than to walk you to your room for the night. He had watched you stare at your cake, your fork slicing off thin bits that you never ate until most of it lay in a pile on your plate while others laughed and drank around the table out of celebration. They were all distracted; well, most of them. He had noticed Mingyu watching you as well. He knew that the other man had realized how distracted you were and even now, as the dinner was wrapping up, he was lingering.Â
âY/NâŠâÂ
âMon ange.âÂ
The two voices pull your attention from your destroyed dessert and up to where Jihoon stands to your right and Mingyu just a bit further to your left. When had everyone else left? Were you that distracted? Dropping your fork, you mutter your apologies, allowing the servant to take the plates from in front of you, meeting her worried look before you start to slide your chair back, feeling Jihoon ease it from you, making it easier to stand up.Â
âAre you alright? Iâperhaps we could take a walk?âÂ
Mingyu was being bold and right in front of Jihoon. You could feel the heat from Jihoonâs body as he steps closer to you, meeting the larger manâs eyes over your shoulder. Before he is able to speak, you remember what Jihoon said in your room, and you shake your head and offer Mingyu a sad, genuine smile. âIâm so tired. Rain check? I just want to go to bed.âÂ
âIâll get you to your room, Y/N.â
The tension between you and Jihoon was evident even as he guided you out of the dining hall and deeper into the palace with his hand on your lower back. He felt too warm, too close. You were still angry at him and you didnât want him to walk you anywhere.Â
âI can make it the rest of the way myself.âÂ
Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sighs your name under his breath, grabbing your arm at your elbow when you try to walk away from him. This wasnât the time to be frustrating him. It was too dark outside and though he could feel that he might not shift tonight, he was close. The beast was right under his skin, causing his emotions to be heightened. âI said Iâd get you to your room. So, please... stop acting like this. Are you just trying to get away from me so you can run back to your friend?â The moment the words leave Jihoonâs mouth, he feels regret wash over him, especially when he sees the look on your face. âShit, Iâno, wait. Iâm sorry, Y/N!âÂ
With Jihoon, he really did take one step forward and two steps back. With those words spoken aloud, he took five massive steps back and he might as well have punched you in the stomach. Tugging your arm free from his grip, feeling his fingers try to grip you tightly, possibly leaving a bruise, you find yourself not caring as you sniff back your tears and start walking quickly away from him as he tries to apologize. âWhy? Why are you sorry? Because you said it, or because you think Iââ Grimacing, unable to even say the words, you shake your head and throw up your hands out of anger.Â
Jihoon finds himself walking behind you, his fingers working through his hair out of nerves as he tries to keep up and think of how to fix this. âNo! WaitâI, yes! Iâm sorry because I said it! I didnât mean it!â Stopping quickly when he reaches your door to watch it be slammed in his face, Jihoon lets out a loud, frustrated breath as he leans his forehead against it and presses his palms next to his head. âI know you wouldnât! Please let me in and talk to me. Donâtâcome on! We are getting married in a day!âÂ
Resting your head back against the door, you feel fresh tears stream down your cheeks and along your neck as Jihoon knocks on your door, begging you to speak to him and to forgive him. You knew when you were getting married and you were beginning to wonder if you should take Mingyuâs proposal up and run away with him. As quickly as the thought passes through your mind, a wave of guilt rushes through you, pain hitting your chest and stomach and causing you to sob loud enough that Jihoonâs knocks stop. You wonder if he has left, but his soft voice a moment later tells you that he hasnât.Â
âY/N⊠I hate myself for this. Forâfor making you feel like this. Iâm a curse to everyone around me. D-do youââ Sliding down the door, Jihoon sits on the floor against it, knocking his head back against the wood before reaching up to rest his head in his hands. âIf you want to leave me, Iâd let you. I would tell them youâI donât know. Iâd make up something, if thatâs what you want.âÂ
Silence. You arenât even listening to him. Jihoon feels like a fool for even trying to speak to you. You clearly hate him more than anyone else in the world, but then that feels impossible because no one could hate him more than himself. Sitting in his own self-loathing, Jihoon pushes his thumb against his palm hard, wondering if he should give up when he hears the lock of your door turn and feels the surface behind him shift, leaving him sitting on his own as he looks up at you from the floor.Â
âY/NâŠâÂ
Taking a step back, you let Jihoon get to his feet, his hands quickly trying to wipe the dust from his pants so that he looks somewhat more presentable before he moves into the room once you let him.Â
âWe have a duty, Jihoon.âÂ
"No, I know thââÂ
âLet me speak.â No other woman had ever spoken to Jihoon like you did or made him feel this way. You commanded the space, even with tears drying on your cheeks and a look of heartbreak in your eyes. âI came here for Thornwood and Iâm not a coward. I said I would marry you and thatâs what I intend on doing, but things have to change.â
Change terrified Jihoon. Swallowing hard, he tilts his head, watching you appraise him and his reaction. He wanted to give into you so easily and give you everything you wanted, but was it that easy? The beast would kill you the first chance it got. âY/NâŠâÂ
âThings have to change, Jihoon! Iâm not your prisoner. Iâm not a doll that you can lock away in some room and play with when you see fit. Iâm going to be the queen.âÂ
You were right; he knew that. Grimacing even as he nodded, Jihoon watches your expression soften. He wasnât completely giving into this; there would still need to be some safe guards put up, but perhaps he could allow some changes for your happiness. âOkay, but we have to compromise. I still donât want you going out at night, ever.âÂ
It takes everything in you not to lash out at Jihoon; itâs only the look in his eyeâa genuine look of concern for youâthat makes you even consider that heâs not just trying to keep some power over you. âIâfine. I donât get it, but I wonât go outside after dark.âÂ
Relief washes over Jihoon and he nods along with your words, taking a step closer to you, happy when you donât instantly move away from him. âThere are things in the dark that you donât understand, Y/N. I donât want you hurt, or worse. So thatâs the only thing I ask for right now.âÂ
To you, it sounded like ghost stories and fairy tales once again getting the best of the imaginations of the residents of Aetherial Grove; you just hadnât expected it to be their prince who fell for them. You didnât expect those stories to make him pale and to look sick to his stomach as he reached for your hands, wanting you close. âIâokay. Theyâre just stories, Jihoon, but Iâll stay inside at night. I said I would. Stop worrying so much. We have enough to worry about besides ghost stories.âÂ
Ghosts? If only that were the worst of Jihoonâs troubles. He had never seen a ghost in his life. He didnât question their existence. Perhaps they did exist and wandered another realm, but in his world he had bigger things to worry about. Offering you a smile, Jihoon nods and lifts your hands bringing them to his lips kissing both of your hands and resting his lips against your left for a moment longer before taking a step back. âYouâre right, darling.âÂ
10
You had always been told that dream weddings were made for princesses. So why was it on your own wedding day that you didnât feel like it was your own wedding? You were in your dress, your flowers in your hand, as you stood next to your father in front of the large church doors, listening to the beautiful music, but it was as if you were watching someone else get married.Â
âReady, honey?âÂ
Had you said yes? You couldnât remember, but it didnât matter. You were putting on a smile and avoiding the eyes of everyone as you walked down the aisle, just attempting not to trip. One, two, three, four, five, sixâby the time you reached the front of the church, you had counted 79 flower petals that had been dropped by one of your youngest cousins. They were very pretty petals. What did petals lining a wedding aisle mean again? Luck? Fertility? Transformation? A bond between families?Â
âMy wife and I.âÂ
Your father was speaking and offering your hand to someone else. You were getting married. Lifting your eyes, you meet Jihoonâs feeling, and your heart starts to beat frantically as it all seems to set in for you. The air settles around you and his hands on yours ground you bringing you back to reality.Â
âYou okay?âÂ
What did he want you to say? You could barely find words to speak so instead you smile and nod, watching him do the same as the priest continues the ceremony. You find yourself transfixed on the man in front of you, every piece of hair in place, his handsome smile, and his beautiful brown eyes.Â
âYes, I do.âÂ
He does? What does heâ-Â
âMadame Y/N Y/L/N of Thornwood, do you take this man, Monseigneur Lee Jihoon, to be your lawfully wedded husband?â
The room had become deathly silent. You could hear a pin drop as they waited for your answer and all you could truly hear was your heart and unsteady breath as Jihoon kept his eyes on you. The words sit on the tip of your tongue until Jihoonâs fingers gently squeeze yours, giving you the confidence you need to continue and gaining a happy whispered cheer from the audience watching.Â
âYeâyes, I do.âÂ
Blowing out a breath, playfully. Jihoon smiles when you finally do speak, feeling the tension release from your fingers. You were nervous and that was making him even more nervous. You seemed like you were in another world until he finally brought you back and now that he had you and the priest was delivering the last of his lines, Jihoon felt like he could either throw up or like his chest could explode from being overwhelmed.Â
âI now pronounce you man and wife. Monseigneur, you may kiss your bride.âÂ
His bride. His. He had never kissed you before, no more than the back of your knuckles but that hadnât meant that he hadnât thought about it or dreamt of it. Swallowing hard, Jihoon nods and takes one hand from yours to cup your jaw gingerly as he leans forward, his lips resting mere centimeters from yours, letting you decide to do the rest.Â
Why had he stopped? Whining under your breath, feeling Jihoonâs breath against your lips, you furrow your brows and close the distance, pressing your lips against his for the first time hearing the audience burst into a loud cheer seeing the first kiss shared by a husband and wife. You had shared a kiss with Mingyu before; it had been small, just his lips brushing against yours before you had pulled away, but this was different. You could feel Jihoon smile against your lips. You could almost taste him before he pulled away, leaving you breathless and stunned at the alter next to him.Â
It shouldnât surprise you or Jihoon that the rest of the reception would be a whirlwind of well wishes and unsolicited advice. You find that once again your only saving grace is the man standing beside you, his hand linked with yours and his thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of your wrist as he carries most of the conversations.Â
âMm, no. We wonât be going anywhere. We have the coronation set for the middle of next week and there is so much to be done here. I will enjoy my bride at home. Iâm hoping to spend as much time with her as possible.âÂ
You find yourself wondering how much of Jihoonâs words are true. Would he spend extra time with you? What would tonight be like? The idea of your wedding night has your stomach in knots and Jihoon tugging you tighter to his side, feeling your fingers closing around his.Â
âIâmm, no, thank you. Weâre fine. Really, we wonât travel often. If Y/N wants to travelââÂ
Why wouldnât Jihoon travel? That had come up time and time again. He was ready to send you back home to visit your parents. You two would be going nowhere after your wedding and now he was offering to let you travel without him? Furrowing your brows, you look up at your husband finally meeting his eyes, making him laugh a bit awkwardly and excuse you both as he grabs two glasses of champagne, leading you towards one of the windows, letting you rest against the sill.Â
âThis is exhausting. Are you alright?âÂ
Gladly accepting the glass, you hum between sips before tilting your head and looking out over the crowd that was luckily getting smaller as the afternoon crept by. âFine. Ready to be alone. This is just overwhelming.âÂ
Nodding into his own glass, Jihoon lets his eyes move around the room before they land on Mingyu, who nods in acknowledgement before looking away. He was ready for everyone to leave as well, ready for them to go back to where they belongedâespecially Kim Mingyu. âItâll be done soon and you can head to bed.âÂ
Pausing mid-drink, you glance up at Jihoon before lowering your glass. "Oh, and should Iââ Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, turning your head away, feeling awkward and uncertain about how to continue without sounding desperate. âShould I expect anyone to join me?âÂ
Jihoon had taken a drink and swallowed half of it when you finally got your words out. He wasnât sure what he had expected, but it wasnât that. He hadnât meant to react the way he had, but being caught off guard and feeling the champagne take a sudden wrong turn, Jihoon finds himself coughing as he tries to calm himself down and avoid your eyes and others as they look at him concerned. âIâm fine⊠Iââ Tilting his head and clearing his throat, Jihoon holds up his hand, keeping others from approaching him or you as he repeats that he doesnât need help. âIâm fine, I promise.âÂ
âWas my question that shocking?âÂ
Jihoon watches your lips quiver slightly, only for you to hide your emotions by taking a sip of the drink in your hand. âNoâI, yes. I wonât lie, yes, but also it shouldnât have been. Y/N, Iâm not meaning to upset you.âÂ
Shaking your head, you clear your throat, feeling your cheeks flair with warmth from embarrassment. You were such a fool for even considering that Jihoon would come to your room or want you like that even if you were his wife. âIâm not upset. Iâm tired. Iâm going to go ahead and call it an evening. Say goodbye to the guests, Jihoon.â Stepping away from him, you meet his eyes, feeling his fingers trail over yours. âAnd get a wonderful nightâs sleep.âÂ
Pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, Jihoon groans in frustration at you and mostly himself as the door closes behind you, leaving him alone with the guests in the dining hall at the wedding reception. He had once again messed up and was left to clean up the mess. It wasnât like he didnât want to see you or be with you, but tonight was going to be a bad night.Â
Some nights Jihoon couldnât tell when he was going to shift, and others like tonight he could feel it from a mile away. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire and the rumbling in his ears had been loud from the moment he had gotten up. He had barely made it through the wedding on sheer will, but now you had left him to the lions, and one in particular looked overly amused.Â
Working his way through the remaining guests, bidding them a goodnight and explaining you had needed to go lay down with a headache, Jihoon felt his own headache growing with every single lie he told. It wasnât until Mingyu had given him one more smirk and sipped at his whiskey that Jihoon cracked. âSomething on your mind, Mingyu?âÂ
âOf course not, Monseigneur. Just awaiting my turn to give my well wishes to the beautiful couple before I retire for the night, butâoh, where is your bride, Monseigneur?âÂ
He was playing with fire and clearly drunk. Laughing under his breath, Jihoon nods and wipes his finger under his nose, moving closer to Mingyu. He could feel a subtle shift in the air, not realizing his eyes had already shifted in color from brown to gold. âWaiting for me in bed, like a good wife. Where she belongs.âÂ
Mingyuâs smile falters not only at Jihoonâs words but also at the change in his tone and the difference in Jihoonâs eye color. âYeah, that so? She didnât seem very happy earlier. So I figured you wouldnât be satisfying her on her wedding night. Or at least thatâs what her face was saying. I know her pretty well, you see.âÂ
Scoffing, Jihoon digs his nails into his palm, taking a step towards Mingyu, who doesnât budge. âDo you know her pretty well? How well? Careful with your next words...âÂ
He had no reason to be afraid of Jihoon, and yet the air around Jihoon was causing Mingyuâs hair to stand on end. He could feel his heart rate starting to rise as he realized that the only people left in the room beside himself and Jihoon were servants. âIâyeah, I knowââÂ
âMonseigneur! Itâs time for a night walk.âÂ
Time had gotten away from Soonyoung during the festivities. He hadnât realized how dark it had gotten until he had seen Jihoon backing the larger man against a wall and he knew that could only mean one thing: Jihoon was shifting. âApologies for taking away the monseigneur, but routines. Have a goodnight, Monsieur.âÂ
Left speechless, Mingyu is only able to take a full breath once Jihoon is ushered away from him and out the doors. âWhat the fuckââ His heart was slowly starting to calm down and the sense of danger seemed to dissipate the longer that he was away from Jihoon. There was something wrong with everything that had just happened. He was twice the size of Jihoon in most ways and yet the man had him almost trembling for a moment and quickly sobering up. Now the prince was going for a night walk? Where? You werenât allowed to go out at night. That was one of the things you had told Mingyu. Now he was even more curious as to why.Â
Guiding Jihoon towards the gates, Soonyoung grimaces, hearing the sounds of flesh starting to rip. This was closer than he wanted to be to a shift. It was dangerous and he had scars that he already bore from Jihoon and close calls.Â
âGet away from me!âÂ
Trembling from the pain and fear of shifting, Jihoon growls out the words, glancing back at Soonyoung as he slams the gates shut in front of him, sealing him out for the night. The painful groaning roar that escapes Jihoon next almost breaks Soonyoungâs heart as he turns on his heels and runs back towards the palace, not seeing Mingyu lingering in the shadows near the gates watching Jihoon stumble and fall as he shifts into the beast.Â
âFuckââ There arenât words to explain what Mingyu feels or the terror for you that runs through him as he watches the bearâs claws dig into the dirt as it runs for the forest snarling. There was no way he was going to let you stay here with that thing. Heâd kill it before heâd let it hurt you. Without much thought, Mingyu heads back towards the palace and to his room to grab his knife before sneaking back out towards the forest in search of Jihoon, determined that only one of them would come back for you in the morning.Â
11
The night had been too long and filled with strange and horrible dreams as you tossed and turned in your bed. You had hoped and prayed that Jihoon had been lying to you and that he would show up at your door, but instead you found yourself on your wedding night alone. You had been half tempted to go find Mingyu, but after sending Jieun to find him, she only found his room empty, confusing you more.Â
You woke the next morning to terrified and frantic yelling that made your stomach twist instantly with nausea before your feet ever hit the floor. What was wrong? Why would anyone be that upset after the day of your wedding?Â
Not caring about putting on more than a robe, you run through the halls and towards the commotion only to stop when Wonwoo wraps his arms around your waist, urging for you to wait. âNo! Whatâs wrong? Let me go!â Tugging free from his grasp, you manage to move through the wall of people only to fall to your knees at the sight in front of you.Â
When you hear the scream, you arenât aware that itâs coming from you until your mother is holding you to her chest and rocking you back and forth, trying to calm you down. The sound is so gut wrenching and devastating that you canât believe that you are making it, but the sight of Mingyu bloody and clinging for life in front of you was enough to make you learn that you could make such a sound.Â
âHeâs alive, butâbarely. Jihoon found him in the forest this morning and brought him back. If it wasnât for him...âÂ
Blinking through your tears, you search for Jihoon, who mutters something you canât hear to Soonyoung before he disappears from your sight down the hall once again, leaving you essentially alone. You are left clinging to your mother as you watch the servants move Mingyu into another room where doctors begin their work to save your friend.Â
Your sense of time gets lost as you sit outside of the room listening to the hushed voices of the doctors and the clanking of their tools. Itâs only when someone kneels in front of you, putting a plate of food on your lap, that you seem to focus on the face in front of you, realizing that itâs Jihoon. Glancing down at the plate, you grimace and look away from it, feeling Jihoonâs palm against your cheek, turning your head back towards him.Â
âYou have to eat. Youâve been sitting here all day. Itâs doing him no good.â Picking up the fork from the plate, Jihoon cuts into a piece of meat, lifting it for you and watching you furrow your brows as he tries to feed you. âEat, please? How is not eating going to help the doctors save him?âÂ
The smell of the meat wasnât appetizing. Nothing about the food in front of you made you want to eat it, but it was more Jihoon urging you to take a bite that had you leaning forward and accepting it. Chewing slowly, you lean your head back against the wall as he sighs, moving to sit in front of you, crossing his legs, and putting the plate in his own lap so he can gather more of the food waiting for you to finish the first bite.Â
âY/NââÂ
âWhere did you find him? Why were you outside, Jihoon?âÂ
Closing his eyes, Jihoon rests the fork on the plate and takes a deep breath to your questions as you cut him off before he can speak again. There was the truth and then there was what he and Soonyoung had come up with. Jihoon wasnât sure which he was ready to tell you or if he was ready to tell you anything.Â
He could remember Mingyu trying to attack himâthe beastâin the forest. He could still see the anger on the manâs face as he tried to do anything with the useless knife in his hand, but like many others before him, Mingyu had found himself powerless against the beast. The thought of it made Jihoon feel sick to his stomach as he smelled the copper in the air even now as the doctors worked to repair what he had done to Mingyu. He wasnât sure how he hadnât killed him. Maybe it was seeing your face and the pain in it when he had taken the necklace from your neck, but he had managed to run away from Mingyu and then find him barely breathing once he was human again.Â
âPlease donât do this to me.âÂ
Jihoon heard your tears before he saw them. He heard the desperation and despair in your voice as you sobbed, drawing his eyes back up to you. It had broken his heart before to see you upset but now you were his wife. It was his duty more than ever to take care of you and he was already fucking it up. âIâhe was attacked by a monââÂ
âThe monseigneur was out for a morning walk and heard him.âÂ
Gritting his teeth to Wonwooâs voice, Jihoon lowers his head again and nods along with the story that he and Soonyoung had come up with. Of course others in the palace would know the story by now, and the steward would want to protect himâespecially from himself. Jihoon wants to explain it all to you and make you understand, but the look on Wonwooâs face makes him stay silent as you stare up at the tall man.Â
âDo we know what attacked him?â Jihoon had started to say something. You could tell that he was keeping something else from you, that perhaps he had started to open up and then he was once again silenced. This had happened beforeâthe same song and dance, but this was different for you. Your best friend was laying torn apart on a table fighting for his life and you werenât just going to accept it and smile. âJihoon saidââ
âThe monseigneur is tired, madame. You both are. You arenât eating properly and the monseigneur is increasingly busy as the coronation approaches.âÂ
You were starting to hate Wonwoo. He kept secrets worse than Jihoon in some ways. He made you realize that Jihoon was as much, if not more, of a prisoner in this palace than you were. Shaking your head, you turn it away from both Wonwoo and Jihoon listening for the sounds of the doctors as they continue to work. âI want to be alone.âÂ
âY/N, I can sit with you. I donât haveââÂ
âVery well, madame. Monseigneur, you have a busy day. If you donât mind to come with me?âÂ
Biting at his cheek, Jihoon lets his eyes move over your pretty face as fresh tears run down your cheeks untouched. He wanted to fix this, to make you feel better and yet he was once again being pulled away from you. âFine⊠Here, please eat a bit more.â Putting the plate next to your leg, Jihoon watches your eyes move to it for a few seconds before you look away again, ignoring what he said. âIâll check in when I can, darling.âÂ
You do your best to stay stoic even as the tears run down your face, but when Jihoonâs lips press to the side of your head, you canât help how your body shakes with grief. You wanted him to stay with you and keep his vows to love and protect you.Â
Keeping his eyes on you until itâs impossible to do so, Jihoon crosses his arms and scowls at the ground in front of him, knowing Wonwoo is just a few steps behind him. âThis better be important. I should be back there with her.âÂ
âWith all due respect, monseigneur Iâm not sure being around madame Y/N is in your best interest when you are in the headspace you are currently in. You might make mistakes and put yourself or the kingdom at risk.âÂ
Jihoon felt like the air had been forcefully removed from his lungs as he came to a stop in the hallway. There wasnât anything pressing to take care of; Wonwoo was just trying to keep him quiet. It made sense. He had heard some of what Jihoon had started to tell you, but it didnât give him the right to dictate what he said or did.Â
Even as Jihoon stood there seething, he knew that he was lying to himself. Of course Wonwoo could tell him what to do and how to do it. His allegiance was to the king and to the kingdom. Jihoon wasnât yet king. Wonwoo was doing what he thought would protect the kingdom, and even Jihoon knew the man was right. If you knew everything about Jihoon, there was no way you would have married him. There was no way that youâd be his queen and there was no way heâd ever even have a chance of having an heir with you.Â
âI know you are upset with me, Jihoon. Your father gave me very specific instructions before he passed away. Iâm attempting to follow them to the letter. I want you to succeed. Stop attempting to self-sabotage yourself.â Watching Jihoonâs shoulders relax, Wonwoo lets out a breath and takes a step closer to the prince, tilting his head. âSheâll learn everything in time. It doesnât have to be now and certainly not while he is on an operating table. Think about how she would react learning thatââÂ
âI get it. I was being weak. Thank you for stopping me, Wonwoo.âÂ
He was right; Jihoon knew it. Youâd hate him. You might even try to do exactly what Mingyu had and he wouldnât even blame you.Â
12
Thorns dug into your feet. Bloody footprints marked every step you made as you ran through the dark forest away from the sounds of heavy breathing and snarls. You were terrified. Every beat of your heart could be felt in your throat as you tried to take in breaths to keep your energy up just enough to stay in front of whatever was chasing you.Â
It didnât seem to matter how hard you ran or what way you turned; you could almost feel the hot breath of it on your neck. Tears streamed down your face as you heard it growl your name; your eyes shut tightly as you begged for your life, only for your body to jerk awake as you hear your name once again.Â
âY/N⊠dear?âÂ
You werenât in the forest and there was nothing chasing you. You were inside the palace but you had been moved from where you last remembered being. Shifting on the sofa, you whine, feeling your motherâs hand brush over your head as you try to sit up, feeling how stiff your body has become from sitting on the floor and sleeping on something that isnât your bed.Â
âOh, darling. You look so weak. Couldnât I take you to your bed?âÂ
Recoiling from her touch, you look around the room and towards the door, seeing that you werenât moved far. The room where the doctors had been working on Mingyu was just across the hall. âNo. MingyuâŠâÂ
Brushing her fingers over your head, your mother nods and purses her lips when you refuse to leave. She knew you would. You were always stubborn and strong-willed. She wondered if your new husband had met this side of you and if he had known this side of you if he would have accepted the cost of your dowry. No doubt you were beautiful and lovely in many ways, but your stubbornness could cause issues in a marriage that your mother worried about. âMingyu is out of surgery, Y/N. About an hour ago. Heâs in his room, resting.âÂ
He had made it. Pushing her hand away, you sit up fully and try to slide from your mother, only to feel her hand wrap around your arm to stop you. âMother, please. I want to go see him. I need to see him for myself.âÂ
âAnd I understand that, Y/N, but, IâI just, consider how this looks? I know that you two were close back home. Perhaps too close. Donât make your husband regret his hospitality.âÂ
Shrugging her hand from your arm, you stand, giving her a look of contempt as she returns the look with more concern underlying. âI am checking on my friend. If Jihoon wants to be upset about that, so be it.âÂ
It was late afternoon now. You could feel the weight of the day resting on your shoulders as you made your way through the palace and towards Mingyuâs room. You knew your mother wasnât wrong, but you hadnât been lying. To you, there was nothing about what you were doing that was wrong. You had sat outside of the room where he had been in surgery most of the day until someone had moved you, so why would it be a shock to anyone that you would want to see him once he was out?Â
Carefully pushing open his door, you glance around the dimly lit room as a frown quickly settles on your lips when you see Mingyu in his bed with the covers tucked under his arms. Bandages cover his chest and one of his shoulders, blood seeping through even as he sleeps with his brows furrowed so deeply. It broke you to see the man you knew to be so strong, so completely broken in front of you.Â
You donât worry about shutting the door all the way; instead, you move towards the bed and take Mingyuâs hand in yours, being careful not to jostle him in any way as new tears gather in your eyes and quickly fall on your cheeks. âIâm so sorry. I should have never asked you to come. Youâd be safe and back home. Iââ The words get caught in your throat on a sob as Mingyuâs nose wrinkles and he sighs in his sleep, giving you the first real sign that he is possibly going to be okay.Â
Jihoon had finally found time to look for you again. He had found you sleeping against the wall after forcing himself to participate in a few meetings and decided to move you to the sofa, but now you werenât there. He knew that Mingyuâs surgery had gone well; he was projected to recover to some degree, resembling being completely healed in a few months. Jihoon had been told that it was even possible that he would be well enough to travel in a week if his body took over healing as it should.Â
Now Jihoon found himself in search of you, already knowing where you would be. He couldnât blame you for wanting to see Mingyu. Even with as much as it made his chest feel heavy, he knew he would let you stay with him for as long as you wanted if that made you happy. Jihoon had done enough to disappoint you and to ruin your life in ways that you didnât even understand yet.Â
Hearing your sobs, Jihoon pauses outside of Mingyuâs door and looks down at the floor, watching the light shift on the floor in front of him through the cracked door. He hated that he was getting used to the sound of you crying. That wasnât something anyone should grow accustomed to.Â
âI hate this so much. Why were you even outside? You are so stupid, Mingyu.â You didnât want to blame Mingyu or Jihoon for this. You wanted to blame whatever it was that attacked Mingyu and you wanted to blame yourself. âIâm so stupid.âÂ
"No, you arenât.âÂ
You knew that Mingyu hadnât spoken. The most he had done was sigh and shift some in his sleep. Furrowing your brows, you wipe your cheeks and turn towards the door, watching as Jihoon moves further into the room with a frown on his face. Perhaps your mother had been right. You shouldnât have visited Mingyu; it had upset Jihoon. Whispering his name, you slide your hand from Mingyuâs and sniff back your tears, uncertain what to do as Jihoon gets closer, his eyes moving to the bed and over Mingyu before they move back to you.Â
âIâm not here to rush you or make you leave, Y/N. I justâI was coming to check on you. You werenât where I left you.âÂ
Letting out the breath you hadnât realized you were even holding, you nod and settle back by Mingyuâs side, sliding your hand back into his as Jihoon wanders in the room near you. He had been the one to move you to the couch. You werenât sure how that hadnât dawned on you earlier. It makes sense. He had tried to feed you earlier; of course heâd want you somewhere at least a bit more comfortable. âIâm sorry, Jihoon.âÂ
âYou donât owe me anything. I wish youâd eat and rest, of course, but I wonât force it.â Quickly meeting your eyes before he moves to the window to look out over the courtyard as the sun starts to set, Jihoon takes a slow, deep breath and lets it out. âIfâif youâd let me, I will get you something and bring it here even. Or if you will finally lay down, Iâll bring it to your room, or have it brought there so you donât even have to see me.â Glancing over his shoulder at you, Jihoon sees Mingyu and the blood that is starting to stain the sheets draped over him and itâs a reminder that he did that. Heâs the one who hurt your best friend. âIâIâm sorry this happened.âÂ
The way that Jihoon spoke made you feel like the tide was rising and that time was against him and you. It was as if you didnât say something or save him that you might have to watch him drown as he swam out too far all while you watched from the shore. âItâs not your fault. You brought him back. You saved himââÂ
âY/N!âÂ
Sitting up straight, when Jihoon raises his voice, panic lacing it, you look from him to Mingyu as he winces in his sleep, causing you and Jihoon to pause until he settles once again.Â
âI didnâtââm sorry, fuck. IâI should just go.âÂ
The water was rising and you had a choice to make. You whine softly, closing your fingers tighter around Mingyu's. As you watch Jihoon walk towards the door, you suddenly stand up, dropping Mingyuâs hand and reaching for Jihoon's instead. Barely catching his fingers with yours, you once again whine Jihoonâs name. Coming to a stop, his head dropping as you take a step closer and sliding your hand fully into his.Â
âIâll eat in my room, but only if you join me.â You can see the apprehension in Jihoonâs eyes and how he glances towards the window, seeing how dark itâs gotten. âPlease, Jihoon.â Wincing at your pleading, he meets your eyes and nods.Â
âOkay.â Jihoon found it difficult to tell you no after disappointing you so often and seeing that heartbroken look in your eyes. The darkness terrified him, but there was no way to tell you that he was afraid to spend any time with you while the moon was in the sky. If he told you that heâd have to explain why, and then he would have to explain why Mingyu was laying in this bed still unconscious, so Jihoon didnât tell you no. Instead, he let you lull him and the beast with your soft smile as he gave into his temptation and brushed his fingers over your cheek, feeling your warm skin under his touch. âIâll be there soon.âÂ
You knew exactly why you had doubts about Jihoon keeping his promise to join you for dinner in your room, but as you sat at your window watching the moon rise, you tried not to let that doubt get the best of you. You were doing your very best not to let your mind wander back to Mingyu laying alone in his room covered in bandages and instead you did something you hadnât done in a long timeâyou prayed.Â
You werenât even sure who you were praying to. There were many gods, goddesses, and deities in general that people believed in, but with your silent prayer for Mingyuâs recovery and Jihoonâs strength going forward, you send your words to whomever might be listening. You pray for yourself. Your own strength and ability to do what must be done as a wife and queenâthat you might be worthy of Jihoon.Â
âAre you sure?âÂ
Not dignifying Soonyoungâs question with an response, Jihoon shakes his head and gives one look to your door before meeting his butlerâs eyes. He knew why Soonyoung was concerned. He wasnât the only one sharing those concerns. Junhui had his own reservations when he was asked to prepare the late dinner. Wonwoo had shared gentle reminders of earlier conversations and his mother had simply given her blessing, hoping that the night might be fruitful.Â
Fruitful. Jihoon knew what his mother meant, but how could she even be thinking of something like that right now? He wasnât trying to bed you. That was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment. In fact, that was the farthest thing from his mind in general. It wasnât that he didnât see you in that manner. Heâd be a fool to look at you and not lust after you. You were divine in his eyes and now you were his wife. It made it even harder not to give into lingering glances but today you were dealing with the stress of everything that had happened with Mingyu. Jihoon was going to your room to comfort you and to eat. Nothing more.Â
The hushed voices and soft knock at your door bring you out of your whispered prayers and right back to the present. Jihoon had kept his promise. Why did that terrify you almost as much as him breaking it? Moving to your feet, you swallow hard, feeling your breath getting caught in your throat before clearing it so that you can finally speak, though it sounds strained. âCoâcome in.âÂ
You had looked exactly the same before he had left you to get dinner ready, and yet you were taking Jihoonâs breath away as he stepped out of Soonyoungâs way, letting him push the tray into the room. Jihoon knew he was staring but at least your attention was taken up as you rushed forward, cooing over Soonyoung and the dinner. God, you really were too good for Jihoon. How he ever got lucky enough for you to end up in Aetherial Grove was a miracle. The idea of it made his stomach twist with anxiety even as butterflies overwhelmed him. He was so scared that he might hurt you in a way he wouldnât be able to fix.Â
âThis looks delicious. Itâs too much.â Sighing, you whine under your breath and reach for the tray as Soonyoung sighs at you, moving your hand away from it. âI canââÂ
âMadameâŠâÂ
âStop calling me that. You call him Jihoon. Do the same for me; call me by my name, please.âÂ
Lifting his eyes to Jihoon, Soonyoung watches the prince finally move into the room and towards the table as he places the dishes on it for you both to share.Â
âIf thatâs what she wants, Iâm okay with it, Soonyoung. We can handle the rest of this. Go rest.âÂ
The apprehension in Soonyoungâs eyes puzzles you at first. You wonder if he isnât sure to take what Jihoon is saying seriously or if he isnât sure if he wants to leave dinner alone without a servant present, but then the man puts on a dazzling smile and you canât seem to figure out which one it was. You find yourself instead smiling back at him as he bows at the waist and hums softly, ready to excuse himself.Â
âAlright. If either of you needs me or anyone else, you know how to get in touch. Goodnight, Y/N. Jihoon.âÂ
Nodding along with his words, Jihoon doesnât pay anymore attention to Soonyoung as he leaves the room. His eyes are on you as you stand next to the table and he realizes this is his first dinner alone with you. If the circumstances were different, it might seem intimate or romantic, but tonight Jihoon pushes those thoughts aside and offers you a soft smile before moving to pull out your chair, letting you sit down first. âIâm happy that you decided to eat, Y/N and IâIâm glad you wanted me here.âÂ
Finding him to be forever the enigma, you smile along with Jihoonâs words, feeling your cheeks heating up. âIâm just glad you accepted. I honestly⊠Well, I just donât think I want to be alone right now. Iâd rather be with you.âÂ
Jihoon had been ready to move the last of the plates to the table when you had spoken, but he hadnât been ready for your words. Letting out a breath, he smiles with his back turned to you, putting the plate back down on the tray to steady himself before trying again and this time moving it with ease to the middle of the table, still avoiding your eyes directly. âThen IâIâll stay with you. However long you need me to tonight.âÂ
Two courses into the impromptu dinner, you pout into your wine glass as Jihoon leans back in his chair with his own wine glass resting on his fingers. Itâs impossible for you not to admit to yourself that you have been struck with at least a bit of luck when it comes to your marriage. It might not be perfect, but you had seen worse pairings in arranged marriages before. Beautiful women paired with men their fatherâs age who expected them to be in bed ready for them every night. Handsome men who were stuck with wives who would sneak off with the stable boy not even after a year of marriage and yet you could look at Lee Jihoon for the rest of your life.Â
âWhy are you looking at me like that? Do I haveâdid I get something on my face?â Shifting in his chair, Jihoon lifts his free hand to rub at his lips, causing you to smile into a laugh that he finds infectious. âWhat? No, why are you laughing at me? Mon angeâŠâÂ
When had he started calling you that? Placing your fingers against your lips, you smile against them and turn your face away from Jihoon, trying to hide how shy he makes you feel. âJihoonâŠâÂ
You were driving him crazy. No other woman had ever made Jihoon feel like this. Perhaps he could chalk it up to never getting the chance to know them, but even that didnât feel like the answer. It all felt like it was leading up to you. You were made to be his. Some sort of cruel destiny where he might truly meet the love of his life and never fully get to love her the way he wanted to. âWhat is it?âÂ
This was insane; clearly you were insane or perhaps you had drank too much wine if the tension in the room had gotten so thick that you were once again looking at Jihoon with desire on your mind. So much had happened in just two days and it would be so selfish of you to attempt to act on your feelings while your best friend lay recovering in a room across the palaceâand yet you find yourself staring at Jihoon, wondering if his promise was true. âIâm not laughing at you, I promise. I justâyou are so handsome. It almost breaks my heart.âÂ
Run away. You should run away and never look back. Jihoonâs brain is screaming at him as he watches you from across the table, your eyes fixed on him in a way heâs never seen before. You didnât know what you were saying. You were drinking and lost in the momentâor you were simply a woman in a room with her husband after her wedding.Â
Letting out a deep breath at your compliment, Jihoonâs lips pull up slightly in a smile before he shakes his head. He wasnât disagreeing with you, but he knew that there was a deeply ugly part of him that you had seen on more than one occasion and you had yet to meet it fully. He prayed you never would. If he had to confine himself to a cell, he would rather that be his life than you ever suffer that side of him.Â
âI never want to break your heart, though I fear I have with my selfishness on many occasions already.âÂ
âItâs not important, JihoââÂ
âIt is, Y/N. Iâm sorry for my behavior. Iâm incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful wife, and not only that, but a beautiful, caring, and understanding wife who wears her heart on her sleeve. You are stunning inside and out, darling.âÂ
Once again looking away from Jihoon, you look up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears gathering on your eyes from falling. He wasnât wrong about some of the things he had said. He had broken your heart many times already, but his words were doing a very good job at patching some of those cracks.Â
The moment the first tear slips down your cheek, Jihoon whispers your name and slides from his chair so he can move around the table to kneel on one knee in front of your chair. âI didnât mean to upset you. Iâm so bad at thisâat relationships. Iâm sorryââÂ
You had been kissed twice in your life. Once by Mingyu and then by Jihoon on your wedding day. Out of those two kisses, your wedding kiss had taken your breath away and made you realize that the one you and Mingyu shared had been between kids trying to figure out their way in the world. Your third kiss almost made you forget that you had ever kissed anyone besides Jihoon ever. You knew it was bold of you to kiss him and not let him have that opportunity, but between Jihoonâs words and having him in front of you, the moment had taken you over.Â
Wrapping his fingers around your wrist as you rest your hand against his cheek, Jihoon furrows his brows tightly. He hadnât expected you to kiss him, but he wasnât going to pull away or push you away. At first he wasnât sure what to do except return the kiss lightly, but then you sighed so softly and Jihoonâs mind almost exploded, sending a shiver through his body and right to his stomach, causing it to tighten as lust rushes through him.Â
He knew that you didnât know what you were doing to him. There was a chance that you didnât know what you were doing at all. You were merely following your instincts, and there was no way that Jihoon was going to tell you they were wrong. He was fighting with himself to deepen the kiss, to let his teeth nip at your lips, to let his tongue taste your skin. You were set in front of him like a pure white rose and Jihoon felt like he needed to protect you and ruin you at the same time. âShitââ Muttering against your lips, Jihoon tightens his grip on your wrist when you are the one who nips at his lips, sending another wave of lust through him. âWait. Y/NâŠâÂ
You didnât want to wait. This was what was supposed to happen on your wedding night. You had waited for Jihoon all night long until your body gave out and you had finally fallen asleep. Now you had him in front of you, your lips on his and he was telling you to wait? Whining on his lips, you grip at Jihoonâs shirt with your free hand, hearing him groan quietly, a sound that has you wanting to close your thighs tighter for any sense of release. âNo, Jihoon. Please? Why?âÂ
Reaching for the arm of your chair, Jihoon misses the first time landing on your leg through your dress, sending panic through him when you smile against his lips. This was too much; he was barely holding himself back and now you were begging him. Tightening his fingers around the wooden arm of the chair, Jihoon groans again, tilting his head as he finally takes over the kiss, feeling your lips part so he can brush his tongue against yours.Â
It felt like you were getting what you wanted. You had never kissed anyone like this before. You could taste Jihoon as his tongue glided along yours, his hand sliding from your wrist so he could cup your face, holding you in place. There was a familiar feeling between your thighs that you had only spoken to your married cousins and mother about. You werenât completely naive. You knew what it felt like to be aroused, but you had never been this aroused in your entire life. You knew that if Jihoon reached between your legs, he would find you dripping from just his kiss.Â
Groaning into the kiss, Jihoonâs hands shake slightly as he tries to keep himself in check. It would be so easy to pick you up and lay you on the ground under him. He could push your dress up and find what was hisâpushing the thought from his head, Jihoon furrows his brows, slowly breaking the kiss, leaving gentle kisses on your cheeks. He was painfully hard in his pants but it wasnât something that he would subject you toâhis sweet, beautiful bride.Â
âWhaâno. Jihoon?â Out of breath, you pout even as Jihoon presses his lips softly against your pout before leaning back on his knees to catch his own breath. It was clear he was done kissing you. Had you done something wrong? Did you not kiss well enough? Was it too obvious that you didnât have as much experience? âWhat did I do wrong?âÂ
Closing his eyes to your question, Jihoon curses himself for letting the kiss go as far as it did. He wanted to give you what you so clearly wanted, but he also didnât want you to hate him. Jihoon was terrified of what he might do to you if he let himself get in bed with you. He could already feel the hair standing up on the back of his neck, the beast curious with his current mood. The more awake the beast got, the more aggressive Jihoon was, and what if he couldnât stop himself? The thought scared him more than you being a bit upset about not getting what you wanted. âNothing, mon ange. Youâre perfect. We have the rest of our lives; no need to rush.âÂ
Rush? Who was rushing what? You wouldnât be fertile for the rest of your life. Jihoon knew that as well as you did. It wasnât the main thing on your mind but the idea of not providing a royal heir loomed over your head like a waiting guillotine, knowing that the entire kingdom would be watching and waiting. âOh, sure, butââÂ
âWe should get you to bed. Itâs been a dreadfully long day for you.â Jihoon could almost see the gears turning in your head. He was afraid of what you were thinking about so he didnât ask; instead, he moved to his feet and offered you his hand to lead you to your bedroom door. âWill you be okay?âÂ
What if you said no? Jihoon had promised to stay with you as long as you wanted. Furrowing your brows, you lift your fingers to your tingling lips, feeling confused by his actions and words after he had kissed you the way he had. âI suppose, butââÂ
âThen Iâll leave you to sleep, darling.â Brushing his lips against the corner of your lips, Jihoon hums softly against your skin, squeezing your hand gently before letting go of you completely and turning away. âGoodnight.âÂ
Your eyes burn at Jihoonâs back the entire walk to your door. He knew you were upset. He had made a promise and in his own way he had broken it. Sighing as he leans against the door having a barrier between you and him, Jihoon closes his eyes and furrows his brow, feeling not only his cock throbbing in his pants but the rumble of the beast laughing at him inside of his head.Â
13
âIâm fine, Y/N... Stop fretting over me. Seriously! I can lift a spoon.âÂ
It had been almost a week since Mingyu had been attacked in the forest. You had spent hours at a time every single day aiding in his recovery, watching him get stronger. Now you couldnât stop the smile that sat on your lips as Mingyu scoffed at you, lifting his own spoon up to his lips as you sat on the end of his bed watching him eat. âYou look so much better. Your color has returned and I thought Iâd never see you smile again, Mingyu. IâIâm so sorry this happened.âÂ
Swallowing the bite of soup in his mouth, Mingyu furrows his brows and shakes his head at your words. You had said something similar, at least a dozen times every day over the week. It wasnât your fault. He knew that much. He couldnât remember all the details of his attack, but he knew that you hadnât been there and you werenât even remotely connected to it. âI swear to god, Y/N, if you donât stop saying that to me, Iâm going to pour my soup on you. Iâm the one that went out in the forest.âÂ
Even though you know itâs an empty threat, you lift your hands to safe guard yourself from Mingyuâs soup, watching him smile as he takes another small bite before leaning back against the headboard of his bed. He was going back home soon. Your parents had already left a few days before and now Mingyuâs father was due to be at the palace in a dayâs time to help Mingyu on his trip back to Leressair. You were going to miss him. You had enjoyed having a companion around, a piece of home.Â
âItâs not like itâs your fault either. You didnât attack yourself, but I still donât understand why you went out there. Seems reckless, even for you.âÂ
Laughing, clearly unamused at your jab at his actions, Mingyu shakes his head and shrugs. âI donât remember really. I mean bits and pieces, but not enough to really mean anything. Just that it was a bear and it was huge.â Seeing the concerned and terrified look on your face, Mingyu reaches to squeeze your fingers, rolling your eyes and adding. âAnd then your brave husband found me and saved my life. So now I am indebted to him for the rest of it, I suppose.âÂ
You did feel a sense of pride that Jihoon had been the one to find and rescue Mingyu. There had been a tension between the two of them that no longer seemed to exist after the incident and while you wished that it had never happened, you were much happier seeing them exist as something closer to acquaintances than enemies. âOh, for the rest of this life and the next.âÂ
âIâll accept this one. I donât need anything after.âÂ
Taking a deep breath at hearing Jihoonâs voice, you watch Mingyuâs eyes shift towards his door before he lowers his head respectfully.Â
âMonseigneur..âÂ
âHow are you feeling today?â It was a question out of genuine concern. Jihoon had found himself almost as often as you watching Mingyu as he slept. He would watch the younger manâs chest rise and fall almost like a new father watching their child sleep, making sure that the next breath was coming. While neither you nor Mingyu knew his true reasoning, Jihoonâs regret for the situation was apparent in his actions.Â
âMuch better. Iâm up often and many of the wounds are healing as the doctors hoped. Thank you for getting me to them so quickly, Monseigneur.âÂ
Lifting his hand, Jihoon dismisses Mingyuâs gratitude, not out of disrespect but because itâs not needed or wanted. He did what he had to. Not only as the soon-to-be crowned ruler of the kingdom, but also as the person responsible for Mingyuâs current condition. âJust pleased to see you looking healthier, and please just call me Jihoon.âÂ
You had tried to stay silent while Jihoon and Mingyu spoke but with Jihoonâs last request, you canât stop the soft breath you release with a smile. That meant more to you than either one of them understood.Â
âUh, I understand that your father will be joining us here at the palace tomorrow. That is also the day of the coronation. I hope that you both will attend. Not for myself, but for Y/N.âÂ
Again, Jihoon had you speechless and staring at him with tears on the rims of your eyes. Did he know how much that gesture meant to you? Even if Mingyu said no, just the point that Jihoon had made that effort had your heart tight in your chest.Â
âWe would be honored, MonseâJihoon. Iâve told her since she was young that sheâd make one hell of a queen, so I would be a fool not to see the moment firsthand.âÂ
âStop itâŠâ Whining under your breath, without much thought, you push Mingyuâs arm, causing him to wince in pain. âOh! Oh no!â Shifting on the bed, you carefully look over Mingyuâs bandages as he leans his head back, laughing.Â
Jihoon moves closer, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a deep sigh. âIf you live to see tomorrow.â Taking a step back as he teases you, Jihoon laughs when you whine his name, pouting up at him. âIâm sorry, darling. You are just too easy to tease. Heâs fine.âÂ
14
You hadnât thought that anything could possibly be more nervewracking than your wedding day, but that was until the day of the coronation. In reality, you didnât matter nearly as much as Jihoon and yet you knew that there would be front and center with him accepting a duty that you would be expected to fulfill the rest of your life.Â
Jihoon wasnât faring much better and though he had been groomed for this day his entire life, he still felt like everyone was going to see through the mask. He had wondered multiple times throughout the morning if he was going to be able to handle the stress of the day. He could feel his anxiety rising in his chest, the roaring in his ears that told him that he wasnât built for thisâit all went silent when you said his name and took his hand.Â
âAre you alright, Jihoon?â He had that same stoic look on his face and yet you could almost see the panic in his eyes as you stood behind Jihoon in the wings of the same church where the two of you had been married. There was a loud droning from the crowd of people waiting to see the new king be crowned, but it didnât matter once you and Jihoonâs eyes met.Â
âIââ Jihoon knew he could lie and tell you yes. He could put on a brave face even in front of you, but you were his wife and something in him told him that this was something he didnât need to lie to you about. âNot really. Iâm terrified, Y/N. Iâm afraid Iâm going to make a fool of myself, of you, and of my family.âÂ
That was unexpected. Though you and Jihoon had grown closer, he wasnât an open book. He rarely shared his insecurities with you or showed any weakness at all. In this moment, he truly looked like your husband asking for help from his wife. âYou arenât going to make a fool out of anyone, Jihoon. You were born for this.âÂ
You can see Jihoonâs look of doubt and how he wants to argue with you but when you step in front of him, lifting your hand to brush his hair from his forehead, he stops. âIt may not feel like it right now but you are a king and just because they are going to anoint you and add a crown doesnât mean that you instantly are going to make a mistake.âÂ
You were good at thisâmaking Jihoon feel less like a failure and like he was a real person. For his entire life, Jihoon had heard the same words that he was born for this but no one had truly expanded on it. You were the first person to make him actually feel like maybe those words were even close to true. âMaybe, butâbut what if I do?âÂ
God, had you always been this beautiful? Of course you had; Jihoon knew that, but as you stood in front of him, your soft fingers moving to his jacket to smooth it down over his chest, he swore you really were an angel. Jihoon knew that any moment now the archbishop would begin the ceremony and you both would have to face the kingdom, but for now he was happy to just look at you, feeling his nerves settle.Â
âThen we face it together.âÂ
It had just become another day when Jihoon was realizing how lucky he was to have you in his life. You didnât seem real. He remembered every face and name of the women who had come to Aetherial Grove before you, but somehow you were making it better without even knowing it. Leaning to brush his lips against yours, Jihoon smiles at the small, surprised but happy sound you make before you return the kiss. He was falling in love with you more and more every day.Â
âPardon the intrusion, Monseigneur... Madame. Itâs time.âÂ
You had felt anxious, afraid, and overwhelmed before the coronation had begun, but as you stood watching Jihoon being anointed and accepting his vows as king, you only felt pride. You had watched with stars in your eyes as the archbishop placed the crown on Jihoonâs head with a smile and spoke his final words, completing the ceremony.
âMay the King live forever.âÂ
Jihoon felt the weight of the crown on his head. He had looked at it many times, be it sitting atop his fatherâs head or put away for safekeeping, but he never thought it would actually be where it sits now. Taking a deep breath, Jihoon closes his eyes, feeling the archbishop place one final kiss on the rings placed on his hand before his eyes turn to you. Your part of the ceremony was shorter and less significant, but to Jihoon it meant more.Â
It was clear to those who knew you that you were nervous once again as the archbishop anointed you and guided you through your shorter vows. Jihoon tried to remain the stoic king he was supposed to be, but when the crown that his mother had worn for so many years was placed on your head, he felt such overwhelming pride. You were his wife and his queen.Â
Taking your hand, Jihoon squeezes it gently, whispering his praises for how well you handled the ceremony before leading you to sit down in front of the congregation as the ceremony truly comes to an end. Not only does the weight of the coronation slowly start to ease from your body with each person leaving, but also when the crown is taken from your head and put away, reminding you that it isnât something you have to bear every day. You would be the queen for the rest of your life but you wouldnât be weighed down by that crown at every turn and you would have Jihoon by your side every step of the way.Â
âMadame La ReineâŠâÂ
Narrowing your eyes at Mingyuâs voice, you canât help how your smile pulls at your lips even as you try to look annoyed at his teasing. He looked even better than he had a day before, though he found himself leaning on his father more than he would have liked.Â
âStop that. Iâm still me.âÂ
Mingyuâs grin makes you feel homesick for the briefest moment before you meet Jihoonâs eyes as he glances at you from over his motherâs shoulder. You were home and that man was your home.Â
âSorry, I canât help it. You looked so regal with the crown and the jewels. I almost didnât recognize you, Dove.âÂ
Mingyuâs father was slightly smaller than him, but his presence was always larger. He had been like a second father to you for almost your entire life from the moment that he and your father had become close friends. âMingyu, manners. She may not want to be called her title, but perhaps the childhood names arenâtââÂ
âItâs fine, I promise. I like the name. It reminds me that Iâm the same girl from Thornwood no matter where I end up.âÂ
"Well, youâll always be Dove to me.âÂ
You could see the sadness in Mingyuâs eyes. You werenât sure what it was stemming from but it was clear as day as he shifted from one foot to the other with a soft sigh.Â
âIâweâre leaving for Leressair. I just wanted to be able to congratulate you and say goodbye before we did.âÂ
There it was and now you felt the same sadness rush through you like a shockwave as you looked up at Mingyu. You knew he had to go. There were things to be done in Leressair just as there were things to be done in Aetherial Grove. Time didnât stop just because you wanted it to. âOh⊠So soon. Iâll miss you. Will you contact me? I want to know everything about how things are going and how you are feeling. Will you let me know if you need anything?âÂ
Mingyu knew this spiral. You would talk quicker and not let anyone else get a word in until the air in the room was all but used up. It was as if you thought if there was no space for anyone else to say that nothing could change or happen. You had done the same thing when you had left Thornwood. âY/N⊠Iâll miss you too. May I hug you? Or would that be inappropriate?âÂ
There werenât many people left in the church now and those who did remain knew who you were to Mingyu. They were the ones who lived in the palace and they were the ones who had helped care for him as he recovered over the last week. You didnât care if they thought it was inappropriate or not as tears sat on the rims of your eyes and you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around Mingyuâs waist, resting your cheek on his chest, feeling his cheek against your head.Â
âIâll write as often as I can, but Y/N... Iâm going to be fine. Iâm stronger than you think.âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Jihoon sighs as his mother continues her conversation, noticing that her son had stopped really listening to her. He was paying more attention to what was happening behind her, which had her curious. Glancing behind her, Jihoonâs mother sighs under her breath as you step back from hugging Mingyu and wipe tears from your cheeks. You were too close to that man and Jihoon allowed it, though she knew why. He was feeling guilty for what had happened, though he shouldnât.Â
âMon fils, are you listening to me? Would you rather see the duke off yourself? It seems your wife is doing a fine job of it.âÂ
Jihoon didnât like the words that his mother was using as she spoke about you. You werenât doing anything wrong. Jihoon wasnât upset with you; he was concerned about you. Seeing you cry for any reason at all had Jihoonâs chest tightening and his stomach bubbling with anxiety. âWhat? Noâno, maman. Sheâsâwhat are you talking about? Sheâs saying goodbye. Leave it alone. I donât want to talk about this anymore anyway.âÂ
Of course he didnât. Jihoon never wanted to talk about the difficult things and having an heir was a difficult thing. âIâm not doing anything to her, Jihoon, but this conversation canât be over. You need to listen to me and seriously consider my words. You are king now and the kingdom is going to start speculating a due date for your queen. They donât need a reason. They only need to know that you two were married to assume that you have made an heir.âÂ
That was a ridiculous notion. You werenât pregnant. Jihoon hadnât taken you to bed and it was no one's businessâexcept it was. His mother was right. He was the king of Aetherial Grove and you were his queen. You had spoken to him about duty before and now his mother was doing the same.Â
âMon fils⊠Iâm not trying to presume yourâhow you and Y/N spend your time, but we have to make sure that she is fertilââÂ
âMaman! Enough. Iâll take care of it. I understand.â
15
âShe insists, Y/N.âÂ
Sighing as you watch your things being packed up and moved out of your current rooms. Jieun was attempting to make the transition easier, but you had just gotten comfortable in your space and now Jihoonâs mother was adamant you were to take the proper room as queen.Â
âYouâll be much more comfortable in a larger area, Y/N. I have so much less stuff now.âÂ
You hadnât realized that she was in the room. You always tried to at least appear grateful or happy around Jihoonâs mother, but sometimes it was difficult. Forcing a bit of a smile, you turn towards her and take a steady breath before letting it out slowly into your words. âI only worry about your comfort, MadââÂ
âPlease call me anything else. My name or maman, like Jihoon does. How will I stand it when you have children running about the palace and you are still calling me Madame?âÂ
Children. That had been on her mind often as of late. She had made it known just as often. Clearing your throat, you force a small laugh, lifting your hands as if to say sheâs right, because she always was. âOf course, maman.â You choose the latter, to call her mother, hoping it might have the desired effect and it does. Jihoonâs motherâs face softens, a small coo slipping from her lips as she moves towards you, lifting her hands to cup your face.Â
âBeautiful, sweet girl. Iâm so very proud of you. Now⊠go. Get settled in your new rooms so that you can make yourself ready for your husband.âÂ
You knew that your face had gone hot under her hands, but you just laughed awkwardly before stepping back and looking down at your hands. It was clear to everyone in the room what she had meant but you had doubts that Jihoon would come to your room. It had been three weeks since you had gotten married and he had yet to show up for that reason. âMm, yes. Iâll go... Doâdo that. Have a good evening.âÂ
Jihoonâs heart was in his throat. He had put this off for as long as he could. He had listened to his motherâs nagging for weeks at this point, along with the constant questions at meetings as to if things had been âfruitfulâ with the queen. The word fruitful was beginning to lose its meaning. It was beginning to make Jihoon feel sick every time it was uttered.Â
It wasnât as if Jihoon had not found himself at your door more than once over the last few weeks. He had thought of you oftenâtoo often, hearing the sweet sounds you had made when he had just simply kissed you. Those memories led Jihoon right to your door, where he stood with his pants tight and his heart beating hard in his chest. Each and every time he would go back to his room out of fear of what might happen, but today the nagging had gotten to be too much. His mother had even moved you into the queenâs rooms, giving him fewer walls of separation between you and him.Â
This was a horrible idea. Jihoon could almost always tell when he was getting close to shifting. It wasnât going to happen tonight, but it was so close he could almost taste you in the air. Every sense was heightened and he felt on edge as he walked to your door, leaning his forehead against it before knocking.Â
You were already dressed for sleep when you heard the knock at your door. The first instinct you have is that perhaps Jieun forgot to do something or to tell you something, but then Jihoon says your name. The floor is cold under your feet as you make your way to the door. Slipping your robe over your shoulders, you put your hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating so hard and loud that you are afraid that Jihoon might hear it.Â
Cracking the door at first, you meet Jihoonâs eyes, a shy smile on your lips as you whisper a hello before pulling the door open so he can come in if he wants to. You donât want to presume that you know why Jihoon is at your room after dark, but you have hope. âDoâdo you want to come in?âÂ
Everything about you made Jihoon want to both run away and also stay exactly where he was. You were the picture of perfection in your white dressing gown and deep red robe hanging from one shoulder. Jihoon could see how nervous you were that he was there, but his own nerves matched, if not tenfold. âUm, yes, if you donât mind.âÂ
Moving into your room, Jihoon sighs softly, glancing around. He had spent plenty of time in these rooms with his mother but they had looked completely different. You had managed to make the space your own and somehow that comforted Jihoon. Everything about you comforted him.Â
âIs everything okay? You donât normally visit me so latââÂ
âNo, I know I donât. I justââ His brows furrowing as he pushes his thumb into his palm, Jihoon scoffs, trying to think how to go about this. How did one approach bedding their wife when it was a duty to do so? Shaking the thought from his head, Jihoon smiles and meets your eyes, reaching for your hand and brushing his thumb along the back of your hand as you tilt your head curiously. âIâm not very good at this.âÂ
Your heart had been beating loudly before; now it was threatening to beat out of your chest as Jihoon looked at you the way he did and when he stepped towards you. This was happening? You were scared but excited. Even though you were inexperienced, you could still feel the arousal beginning to burn in your lower abdomen. You just hoped that you wouldnât mess this up.Â
Such a sweet and innocent look in your eyes that made Jihoon want to die on the spot. Someone like you shouldnât be around him, especially when he wasnât completely himself. When he was so close to shifting, his inhibitions were lower, he was more aggressive, and he found himself needing or at least wishing for someone in his bed. For the last year Jihoon had stopped giving into the beast and seeking out women he would never see again, but now you were standing in front of him with those doe-like eyes, not knowing your husband was a predator. Â
âYou are so beautiful, mon ange. Can I kiss you?âÂ
Jihoon had said he wasnât very good at this, and yet you were practically whimpering as you told him yes to a simple kiss. Youâd take anything because the heat of his eyes on you was like standing next to an open flame. You needed him to help you get through this and right now he looked like a lighthouse guiding you home. âYes, please. Kiss me.âÂ
You shouldnât sound so sweet and desperate. God, you really didnât know what you were doing to him. Cupping your face in his hand, Jihoon brushes your cheek with his thumb before delicately placing a kiss on your pretty lips and listening to your whine. It wasnât enough; he knew it wouldnât be. It hadnât been enough for him. âShhâdonât talk right now.âÂ
The words confuse you, but you nod, feeling Jihoonâs lips find yours once more. Maybe this was how it went. You werenât supposed to speak to your husband while you were in bed, but the deeper his kisses got, the more urgent they got, and you struggled to stay silent. Whines and half-spoken words slip from your breath as Jihoonâs hand finds your waist, pulling you close to him and letting you feel how warm his body had gotten.Â
Jihoon almost felt as if he had a fever. He needed to get some of his clothes off; he could already feel his cock beginning to strain against his pants as you whined his name. Placing his finger against your lips, Jihoon meets your wide eyes as he uses his free hand to slide your robe down your arms, letting it fall to the ground at your feet. âTry not to talk, mon ange. I need you to listen to me.â Every time you spoke, it was like a red hot poker being stuck against his skin. The beast was very much awake and you had caught not only Jihoonâs interest but itâs interest as well.Â
ââM trying, Jihoon.âÂ
He knew you were. Your brows were knitted together so tightly and with every brush of his lips against bits of your exposed skin, you were almost choking on your moans to keep them silent. âI know. Youâre doing well, baby. Come here.âÂ
A gasp slips from your lips when Jihoonâs hands slide over your backside and he squats down just enough to hoist you up. Surprised, you wrap your arms around his neck and cross your ankles around his back as he walks towards your bedroom door with his eyes fixed on yours. Not only had he shocked you by picking you up, but Jihoon had called you baby. He had your heart swooning and the butterflies in your stomach dancing by the time he laid you on your bed and laid over you, his lips finding yours again.Â
Your lips were soft and even your muffled moans were like music to Jihoonâs ears as he nipped at your lips, feeling you arch your back, pushing your breasts towards him. Leaning back to look down at you, Jihoon smirks as he carefully unties the top of your dressing gown, watching you turn your head away from him shyly. Such a pure, perfect little flower he had under himâhe had to keep himself in check.Â
âIs this okay? If I see you?âÂ
Nodding with your head still off to the side, you whine when Jihoonâs thumb and forefinger grip your chin, gently turning your head back to the center so he can look at your face.Â
âDonât look away from me. You are so fucking beautiful, Y/N. You donât have to hide anything that is mine.âÂ
That possessive nature wasnât a natural thing for Jihoon. Of course he wanted you all to himself and he would fight for you, but he didnât possess you. The beast brought something deep out of him and when he looked at you and smelled how sweet you were, it made Jihoonâs mouth water with desire. You were hisâhis wife.
âYou are mine, right?â Gently tugging your gown down your arm, leaving just the top of your breasts exposed, Jihoon groans when you whine. âArenât you?âÂ
Warm breath fans over your neck and along the top of your chest before Jihoonâs lips walk in gentle kisses over every bit of your exposed skin as he waits for you to answer. Not wanting to break his rule about speaking, you nod as your fingers grip the blanket under you tightly, trying to keep yourself grounded. You had never felt like this in your life. No one had ever made you feel this desired or aroused until you met Lee Jihoon.Â
Glancing up at you, Jihoon grins when you nod, staying silent. You were a good girl, trying to listen to what you were told and thank God for that. He was hanging on by a thread. âMy pretty wife..." Muttering the words mostly to himself as he eases your gown further down your body, exposing more of your skin to him, Jihoon furrows his brows to just how perfect you are. Every curve, mole, scar, and blemish is like a work of art in front of him waiting to be explored.Â
âAhâJihoon.â Pressing your head back against the blankets, you moan his name when Jihoonâs lips brush over your nipple, causing chillbumps to erupt along your skin. You hadnât meant to speak but the feeling had surprised you so much that it had slipped from your lips before you realized.Â
Nipping at the bud, Jihoon growls under his breath hearing you let out a choked sobbing moan as you try to pull back from his teeth. âSaid to be quiet. I need for you to shuââ Stopping himself, Jihoon rests his forehead on your breast and takes a deep breath, bringing himself back down. âPlease, baby? Try for me.â
Tears were sitting on the rims of your eyes out of fear of disappointing Jihoon. You were afraid he would leave you wanting because you couldnât listen to him and follow one simple request, but again you nod as his thumb gently massages into your hips over your bunched-up gown. Â
âLift your hips. Good girl.â Jihoon felt as if he could grip the gown in his hands in half as he looked at you naked in front of him. He wanted to bury his cock inside of you so deep that youâd have an imprint of him left inside of you for weeksâthat youâd crave him as much as he was craving you right now, but Jihoon wasnât stupid and he wasnât as much of an animal as the beast was trying to make him be. You truly seem as pure as he imagined as you shyly placed your hand over the center of your legs and bit your lip out of nerves.Â
Sliding off the bed, Jihoon drops your gown to the floor and lets your watch as he rids himself of his shirt, letting your eyes slowly take in whats in front of you. âI am going to ask you a question and you can speak, okay, darling?â Waiting for you to nod, Jihoon sighs as he glances down at his pants undoing them, feeling your eyes on him still as he speaks. âI want the truth and I want you to know I wonât be upset or surprised either way you answer.âÂ
Fear makes its way through your mind as you wait for Jihoonâs question and as you watch him get undressed. You werenât sure what was making you more nervous, not knowing what he might ask or seeing him completely. With your voice small, you nod and whisper, "Okay.âÂ
Jihoon knew the answer before he even asked it; his thumbs pushed into the top of his pants, but he needed to hear you say it. âWill I be your first?â There was a small nagging part of him that wondered if Mingyu had gotten to you first, if sometime in your past with him the man had managed to talk you into letting himâÂ
âYes, Jihoon.âÂ
Of course you wouldnât have let anyone talk you into anything. You were perfect. Sighing out a deep breath, Jihoon nods approvingly before pushing his pants down, letting them fall to the floor. Perhaps he should have gone slower and made sure you were ready, but Jihoon watches as your eyes widen before you turn your head away as if to give your husband privacy to be naked.Â
âMon ange⊠Look at me. Iâm yours as much as you are mine.âÂ
It wasnât that simple. You had seen Mingyu shirtless before and even that had sent your head into a tailspin, but seeing all of Jihoon and knowing thatâthat would be going inside of youâwas almost too much to handle. Glancing towards him, you quickly look up at the ceiling as Jihoon laughs quietly, moving towards the bed, sliding his hand along your thigh, feeling the chillbumps once again covering your skin.Â
âYou are truly perfect. Here⊠move this.â Guiding your hand from between your legs, Jihoon groans under his breath, realizing it might have been a mistake. You were drenched with arousal and Jihoon could feel the hair beginning to stand up on the back of his neck even as he pressed a kiss to your fingertips, collecting the slick left on them before licking his lips clean. God, you tasted like a dream. He had to have you. Heâd die if he didnât. âNeed you to stay quiet again for me, baby.âÂ
Why did you have to be quiet? How were you going to be quiet? Jihoon was kissing your leg and not just that; he was kissing the inside of your thigh, getting so close to your pussyâto where you needed him the most. Closing your fingers around the blanket, you point your toes and cry out in surprise when you feel Jihoonâs tongue run between your folds for the first time. You hadnât meant to make a sound but the feeling had been so shocking and it had felt so good, you didnât know what to do.Â
Groaning to your taste, Jihoon pulls back from between your legs just enough to glance up at you, hearing your yelp. âDonât.â He knew it was a lot to ask of you, especially when he buries his face right back into your pussy, letting his tongue circle your throbbing clit. He needed this to survive now, only thisâonly you and your bodyâthat was what the beast was telling him as he growled loudly against your folds, his hands gripping your legs tightly, keeping you in place even as you squirmed.Â
âAhââ Gritting your teeth, you try even harder to stay quiet. You alternate between biting your cheeks to biting your lips to finally using your own hand to cover your mouth as you whine loudly behind it. There was a pressure building inside of you that you werenât going to be able to stop and Jihoon didnât seem to be stopping until he got what he wanted. Closing your thighs around Jihoonâs head, you lift your hips towards his mouth when you feel the pressure finally release.Â
Easing your legs apart, Jihoon licks his lips, moving his eyes along your body as you try to calm down from your orgasm. He wasnât done with you. He didnât even want to take a break. Logic told him to take his time, to give you time, but animal instinct told him to takeâand it was stronger than his logic as the moon shined high in the sky.Â
âTaste so fucking good. Keep your legs open for me.â Using his thumbs to spread your folds, Jihoon spits onto them, watching you wiggle almost uncomfortably as he turns his right hand palm up before easing one finger into your tight hole, feeling you instantly clench down around it.Â
You werenât ready to keep going. You felt exhausted and your legs were shaking so hard that you felt like you wouldnât even be able to walk if you wanted to. Whining Jihoonâs name and feeling his finger pushing into you, you reach for his wrist with one hand and grip the bedding under you with the other. âWaitâhurts.âÂ
Hearing you speak, Jihoon rolls his eyes and rests his head against your thigh, looking at your fingers resting on his wrist. He didnât register what you had said, only that you were speakingâ no, you were whining. âI told you not to speak. Didnât I?â You push your feet down on the bed, a soft sob slipping from your lips and Jihoon eases a second finger into you, marvelling at how your pretty little pussy sucks him in. He canât help but imagine it around his cock, feeling it throbbing against the bed, leaking profusely.Â
It should feel good. That was what you had been told by every one of your cousins. Your husband should want to listen to how to make you feel good, especially the first time, so why was yours telling you to be quiet as his fingers painfully stretched you before you were ready? Tightening your hand around Jihoonâs wrist as tears run down your cheeks, you say his name louder, lifting your hips in an attempt to get away from him, only to feel him push you back down harshly.Â
âWhat the fuck do you thinkââ With his thumb digging into your hip, Jihoon meets your eyes, seeing the fear and pain in them as tears drip off your cheeks. Carefully, he eases his fingers out of you and glances between your legs, making sure he hasnât hurt you in any way, before sliding back on the bed, running his hand over his lips, shocked by himself.Â
âIâm sorry, Jihoon. I just need a few minutes and then I can try again. It just feltââÂ
âI need to go.âÂ
Sitting up in your bed, you watch horrified as Jihoon quickly pulls his clothes back on, keeping his eyes down from you.Â
âWhat? No! Jihoon, Iâm sorry! I didnât mean to mess it up. I donât know what Iâm doing. Iâve never done this before.âÂ
God, Jihoon hated himself. He hated himself more than he had ever hated anyone or anything hearing you struggle to speak through your sobs. He knew he was breaking your heart again, but to him, that was better than hurting you or forcing something on you.Â
âItâs not that, Y/N! I justâI have to go!âÂ
What had you done that was so wrong that Jihoon couldnât even look at you as he left your room? Had you messed up that badly? Falling back on the pillows, hearing the door to your room slam shut, you draw your legs up towards your stomach and let go, sobbing loudly, not caring who or what might hear you as grief rips through you. You had Jihoon. You finally felt like his wife. You felt desired by him and now you felt discarded and completely alone again.Â
16
You had only fallen asleep due to exhaustion. Now you were wandering the palace, feeling like everyoneâs eyes were on you. It was like everyone knew that you had failed to not only fulfill your duty as Jihoonâs wife but as queen. The only person you had yet to see was Jihoon. It was like he was avoiding you. Quickly, you find out that you werenât wrong in your suspicions.Â
âI donât want to deal with this bullshit today, Soonyoung! Tell Wonwoo to cancel it. Iâm not doinââ Staring at you in the doorway to his study, Jihoon cuts off his own words, swallowing hard at the look on your face. He could see how exhausted you seemed to be and how swollen your eyes were even from across the room. You had been crying again. He couldnât do this. Not today. âIâm busy, Y/N.âÂ
âYouâre always busy, but couldnât I haveââÂ
âMust you always insert yourself where you arenât wanted or needed?âÂ
Visibly taken aback by Jihoonâs words, you put your hand on your chest, feeling your heart shatter. âThis isnât fair.â Your words are quiet, matching the stillness of the room as Jihoon stares at you and Soonyoung stands uncomfortably by his desk, unsure what to say or do. âPlease talk to me for five minutes, Jihoon. You owe me that.âÂ
Lifting his hand to dismiss Soonyoung, Jihoon leans back in his chair and runs his fingers through his hair, hearing the rumbling in his ears as you walk into the room past Soonyoung, letting him close the door behind him. It was a horrible idea for him to be alone with you. It was already later in the afternoon and Jihoon had already argued with nearly every single person he had come into contact with today. He didnât need you to be another. âI really donât have time for this today.âÂ
He never had time for you. That was what your brain and heart were telling you. This was how the rest of your life was going to be. Your life with Jihoon had been a series of extreme ups and downs and you were the lowest you had ever been at this moment. Wiping under your eyes, you nod, moving closer to his desk, knowing he would probably only give you exactly the five minutes you requested. âThen I thank you for your generosity in allowing me to speak to you. I just need you to explain to me whatâs wrong with me, Jihoon. Why do I disgust you so much that you would treat me like you do and leave me like you did? I need to understand what I can do to change and be who you want me to be, because I fear you are stuck with me and all I can do is apologize for that.âÂ
Your words take the air from Jihoonâs lungs and leave him speechless at first. He knew you were unhappy and upset after what had happened last night, but the idea that you thought that he found you disgusting made Jihoonâs mouth feel dry like a desert that hadnât seen rain in centuries. âYou donât have to change a thing. Thereâs nothing wrong withââÂ
âThatâs obviously not true. If that were true, you would have stayed last night, and we would have... Things would not have ended like they did. Jihoon, you wouldnât even look at me when you left.âÂ
Jihoon could feel the frustration rising in him. It wasnât your fault that he was so quick to anger but why couldnât you just let this go? Why did you have to push this today? If you could give him just one more day to get this out of his system, heâd be calmer, but no, here you were cutting him off and raising your voice. âIâm not dealing with this shit today, Y/N. I donât have to and I wonât.âÂ
Shocked by Jihoonâs response, you take a step closer to his desk, watching him recoil further into his chair. âAre you kidding me? You donât think that you owe meââÂ
âI donât owe you anything! Iâfuck! Go to your room. Itâs getting late and you know the rules.âÂ
Surely Jihoon had to be kidding. There was no way that he thought that he could get away with talking to you like this today after everything the two of you had been through over the past few months. This sounded more like the Jihoon that had ruined your bracelet after your engagement party. âNo! I donât have to just obey when you speak, Jihoon!âÂ
Standing up quickly from his seat, Jihoon barely flinches when the wooden chair hits the wall with a crash that causes you to gasp and take a step back. âYes, you do. Did you forget your vows, my sweet wife? To love, honor, and obey. So fucking obey and go to your goddamn room and lock the door for the night. I donât want to see you until tomorrow.âÂ
When you donât move quickly enough for Jihoon, your mouth opening and closing in disbelief, he sighs loudly, moving around his desk to grab your arm, feeling you struggle against his grip as he leads you towards the door opening as you protest.Â
âLet me go, Jihoon! God, you are a monster!âÂ
Making you walk towards your room, Jihoon growls under his breath as his eyes start to shift to golden. âYou have no fucking idea, darling.â Seething, Jihoon tugs open your door and pushes you inside, letting you stumble as you try to turn around to stop him before he slams the door in your face. âLock it!â Standing still, Jihoon stares at your door until he hears the lock click into place and only then does he turn back down the hall towards the front of the palace, feeling the night calling to him.
You were confused and pissed off by how Jihoon had treated you. Rubbing your hand along your bicep, you wince in pain, feeling the bruise forming under the skin from how hard he had gripped your arm, forcing you into your room just a few short hours ago. Now the sun was setting and you were feeling less afraid and more annoyed.Â
Fuck Jihoon. Fuck his stupid rules. The room felt small despite itâs size and you felt like you were suffocating. Looking at the door, you nod firmly as you make up your mind, turning the lock to disengage it before pulling the door open quickly, half expecting Jihoon to be angrily waiting on the other side. Instead, you find no one, just a dimly lit hallway like always. âHeâs ridiculous.âÂ
It doesnât cross your mind what had happened to Mingyu. None of the ghost stories or animal attacks so much as even visit your thoughts as you tug your robe around your dressing gown and walk confidently into the hall with one goal in mindâyou were going to go outside. You were going to enjoy the night air for the first time in months.Â
It had been so long since you had seen the stars from more than your bedroom window. Stepping out onto the courtyard, you smile up at the sky as you take in a deep breath of fresh air, taking a left into the gardens, intending to take a short walk. You were being rebellious but you werenât planning on being recklessly stupid. You werenât going to leave the palace grounds.Â
The flowers and trees looked different under the moonlight. They felt different under your fingertips somehow too. Perhaps that was the subtle dew that was settling on them as the nightair shifted into something a bit colder, causing you to hold your robe a bit tighter around yourself. You loved how quiet it was out here. There were no echoing voices from the palace. You werenât hearing Jihoonâs voice screaming in your head; instead, there was just the gentle sound of the wind and crickets. Or there had been crickets.Â
Tilting your head, you try to strain your ears to listen for the sounds of the bugs when a sudden exhale from just outside the wall startles you, making you jump and cover your mouth to keep from screaming. It didnât sound human, but it did sound large and it was moving.Â
Keeping your body low, though you know whatever is on the other side of the wall canât see you, you listen to the deep breaths of the creature and follow it along the line of the wall towards the large golden gate. You know you should stop where you are; logic is screaming for you to stay hidden but your curiosity takes over when you catch sight of the large bear just outside of the courtyard gates.Â
You had never seen a bear so large in your life. Its fur was dark and the pattern was unusual to you for a bear. It didnât seem like any sort of bear that you had ever read about or been told aboutâthis was something new. Taking a step out towards the gate, you think the bear is far enough away from the gate that perhaps you can watch it head back towards the forest, but your shoe catches a pebble and its head turns, alarmed by the sound, and catches your eyes. Golden? You could see them from here almost clearly. You were transfixed and terrified, stuck in place until the bear rushed the gate, hitting it so hard that you realized what you were doing and took a step back with a gasp only to loose your footing and fall backwards on your butt.
âOh my godâŠâÂ
When you speak, the bear seems to focus on your face, a look of recognition in itâs eyes before it growls, scratching at the ground near your leg through the gate. Kicking your legs to get away from the claws you whine when you feel your gown get tugged, pulling you back towards where you were trying to escape, drawing your eyes down to where the bearâs claws were digging into the ground and your gown. âNo, no! Please!âÂ
Tears stream down your cheeks as you try to pull yourself free, but then searing pain tears through your thigh when the bearâs claws tear through your gown, skin, and muscle. Screaming out of fear and pain, you lay back on the ground, feeling hands on your waist as someone pulls you away from the gate until the snarling of the bear is so distant that you can barely hear it anymore.Â
âMadame!â You looked pale, blood was seeping from the wound on your thigh quickly and Wonwoo was starting to panic. âFuck!â Pulling you into his arms, the steward is able to get you inside the house and on to the same floor where they had laid Mingyu the morning Jihoon had found him.Â
âWhat happened?!âÂ
âYou know what happened! Look at her leg, Jieun. Soonyoung get the doctor, now!âÂ
17
Some nights that Jihoon would shift felt more like a nightmare than others. Last night had to be the worst nightmare of Jihoonâs lifeâexcept it hadnât been a dream. Rubbing his fingers over the silk in his hand, Jihoon sits up in a panic, putting his free hand on his chest, struggling to breathe, remembering your frantic screams of pain as Wonwoo managed to get you away from him. What the fuck had he done?Â
Jumping to his feet, Jihoon groans to the pain in his head and body as he pushes through it, starting the run back towards the palace, feeling the rocks biting into his feet. Normally he would wait for Soonyoung to find him and to give him clothes but he didnât care today. You were hurt or possibly worse. Jihoon had to find you and make sure that you were okay. He had to fix this. How the fuck could he fix this?Â
âJihoon!â Sliding off the back of his horse, Soonyoung shakes his head, pulling the bundle of clothes from the back of the saddle, as he watches Jihoon run past him naked and panicking. He had seen all sides of his best friend before. The anger, the sadness, and the panic, but never had he seen him be willing to run through the forest completely naked. âJihoon, stop!âÂ
Hearing Soonyoungâs voice, Jihoon turns back towards him and runs to him, grabbing his shirt as he tries to keep his emotions in check, quickly failing as the panic slips through. âIs she alive?âÂ
âYes, yes! Iâll get you back to her, but put on some clothes first. You canât just run to the palace like this. Youââ Sighing seeing the desperate look in Jihoonâs eyes, Soonyoung grips Jihoonâs shoulder reassuringly. âYouâre the king. Pull yourself together.âÂ
Jihoon wasnât sure how he was supposed to keep himself together. The entire ride back to the palace Soonyoung reminded him to remain calm on multiple occasions until they reached the stable and he was able to go search for you. It was clear that the others in the palace were on high alert. This was different from any other time that Jihoon had attacked or killed anyone. It wasnât even that it was you; it was that you were the queen.Â
âWhere is she?âÂ
Wonwoo knew that Jihoon would be back soon. He could see that the man looked worse for wear, but he always did after a night in the forest. He would prefer if he bathed and took care of himself before going to see you, but the look in Jihoonâs eyes told him that wasnât going to happen. âIn her room with the doctor. Sire!â When Jihoon doesnât stop, his steps quick towards the hallway that would lead him to you, Wonwoo sighs, âJihoon!âÂ
Tears were already sitting on the rims of Jihoonâs eyes when he turned around to meet Wonwoo. He didnât want to talk to anyone else before he saw you. He needed to see you or else he was going to die right there on the spot. His heart would give out from guilt and grief. âWhat!âÂ
âShe was asking for you all night. I told her that you were out. I couldnât explain where.âÂ
Leaning his head back to try to keep the tears from spilling over, Jihoon nods and sniffs hard, knowing that he had hurt you in so many ways. He wasnât even there when you needed him the most, when you were asking for him while you were scared and in pain. He was a failure and a monster. Just like you had called him. Â
You had been in and out of consciousness over the last few hours since the attack. You werenât feeling much of the pain from the medicine, which was also helping you to sleep. Even now as the doctor changed out your bandages, his brows furrowed at the deep gashes he had stitched closed, you barely flinched, and you didnât notice Jihoon moving into the room, his eyes glossing over at the sight of you.Â
âIsâwill she be okay?âÂ
The doctor hadnât expected anyone else to be in the room, so when Jihoon spoke, the older man sighs, lifting his hand to his chest to calm himself down before looking towards him and lowering his head in respect. âYes, sire. The butler was able to get me to her quickly and I stopped the bleeding. There will be scarring, but the queen will be fine as long as we keep infection from settling in the wounds.âÂ
Nodding along with his words, Jihoon moves closer as the doctor finishes up his task, moving from your bedside, allowing Jihoon to take his place at your side. You looked so small and fragile as you slept. Jihoon felt like his heart was being crushed as he looked over your sweet face and then down at your thigh, where blood was already beginning to seep through the bandages that the doctor had just replaced.Â
All of the emotions that Jihoon had been trying to keep at bay come to the surface with that blood, knowing that he did this to you. You were going to be in pain because of him. Tears stream down Jihoonâs face as he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against his hand, his elbow on his knee just letting you rest. He didnât want to disturb youâhe didnât want to do anything to cause you discomfort ever again.Â
âJihoon?âÂ
Your voice brings Jihoon back to the moment and causes his shoulders to shake as he chokes back a sob hearing how weak you sound. Sniffing back his tears, Jihoon licks the tears from his lips and opens his eyes to meet yours before taking your hand and squeezing it gently, unsure what to even say.Â
âWhere were you? Iââ Wincing as you try to move in the bed wanting to sit up, you fall back down on your pillows, feeling Jihoon helping you get back to where you were, his fingers brushing over your cheek.Â
âIâm so sorry, Y/N. IâI donât evenâŠâ How was he going to lie to you again? He couldnât tell you that he did this. How could he? âI was called away last minute and I was outââÂ
âWhat? That makes no sense.â Shaking your head, you sniff back your own tears, knowing he is lying to you. âJihoon, I was alone and afraid. I justâplease donât lie to me.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, Jihoon tries to think of what to say next, his eyes moving from your face to your leg and back multiple times. You find yourself wondering if he is disgusted by it and what scars will remain. Reaching for the sheet near your leg, you pull it over your bandages and lower your head in shame, causing Jihoonâs resolve to break.Â
âFuckâY/N. Iââ Choking on his own sob, Jihoon shakes his head, moving to his feet even as you reach for him, starting to feel concerned and confused by his reaction. âIâm so sorry. Iâll never let something like this happen to you again. I swear.âÂ
âYou couldnât have preventedââ Watching Jihoon turn and move out of your bedroom, you force yourself to sit up despite the pain, wanting to stop him even though you are unable. âJihoon!âÂ
Even hearing you yell his name sends Jihoon down a darker spiral, his fingers tugging at his hair as he leans against your closed door, the tears dripping off his cheeks and on to his shirt.Â
âSire?âÂ
Wonwoo⊠Closing his eyes at hearing Wonwooâs voice, Jihoon knocks his head back against the wooden door as the thought comes to him of what he has to do and who would help him do it. If anyone in this palace would listen to him, it was Wonwoo.Â
âI need you to help me with something.âÂ
âOkay, whatââÂ
âAnd Y/N⊠she doesnât need to know.âÂ
18
It had been a week and a half since the attack and everyone in the palace was acting off. They were being too nice to you. You knew that you were queen, but this went beyond that. It went beyond being injured... something was wrong and Jihoon was nowhere to be found.Â
âWonwoo?âÂ
You were back again. Humming along with your questioning voice, Wonwoo gestures along with what he wants a few of the other servants to do, barely giving you a second glance even as you stand in front of him.Â
âWhere is he?âÂ
âI told you, Madame, he is away on business.âÂ
He had told you many times over the past week and every single time it smelled like shit. Jihoon didnât go places. He didnât do business outside of Aetherial Grove.Â
âWhich kingdom again?âÂ
âMultiple kingdoms, Madam. Is there anything else? Jieun can see to it. Excuse me.âÂ
All of Jihoonâs things were still in his room. How and why would he leave without a single item? There was something wrong and you werenât going to just take this lying down. There was something you were missing; you just had to find it.Â
There were so many places in the palace that you had yet to see that you discovered in your search for clues on where Jihoon had really gone. There were multiple staircases that you had yet to go up or down. Some led to rooms you had seen by other avenues and others took you by surprise when you discovered another study overlooking the garden. But it was the staircase that led down past the servants quarters that shocked you the most.Â
From the outside, looking in, the palace of Aetherial Grove was grand and tall. It never dawned on you that anything menacing might lie inside the intricate golden gates and beneath her marble floors. What you found was dark and secluding as you stayed in the middle of the aisle among the empty cells of the dungeon.Â
While it made you feel better that the dungeon wasnât overflowing with people begging you to be freed, it still made you feel oppressed as you wrapped your arms around yourself, searching deeper and deeper and wondering who might have been there at one point. Thornwood did not have a dungeon; there had never been a need for one. Your mother had read you old stories of kingdomâs with dragons and princesses locked away in their dungeons, and now as you walked around one, you shuddered at the thought.Â
It seemed to go on forever in the dim light. The cells as dark as the walls, you were about to give up and return to the upper floors of the palace when shuffling from a cell to your right startles you. It had to be a trick of your mind and nothing more, but as you got closer, you could hear panicked breaths behind the thick iron cell door.
âHeâhello? Is there someone in there?âÂ
Covering his head with his hands, Jihoon knows he has to be imagining you. It wouldnât be the first time since he had made Wonwoo put him in the dungeon that he had started to hallucinate. Shaking his head, muttering no, no, no, he laughs a bit manically under his breath as he glances up towards the small, barred window, seeing fingers gripping the iron. âStop itâŠâÂ
Jihoonâs voice sends a shiver down your spine and for a moment you stare at the door in front of you like itâs not even there. It feels impossible to hear him in a place like this and not only that but to hear him sound like thatâso weak and scared. âOh my god! Jihoon?âÂ
Tugging at the handle of the cell door, you feel warm tears run down your cheeks when it wonât budge. Why was he locked inside of a cell? This was insane. He was the king of this palace for godsakes. âJihoon! I canâtâthe door wonâtâitâs locked!âÂ
You were actually there? No, there was no way. Moving to his feet, Jihoon winces to the light through the bars when he sees your eyes as you rise to your toes, trying to see inside the cell. You were so beautiful. It was painful to see you. âGo away, Y/N.âÂ
Shaking your head, you tug at the door again in vain, not understanding Jihoonâs words. It didnât make sense to you. âIâI donât understand! I canât go away. I wonât! I have to get someone to get you out of here. Who put you here?!âÂ
The laughter starts low and soft until finally Jihoon canât hold it back. It was all ridiculous to him now. He hated himself so fucking much and he loved you just as much only to have a solid iron wall between the two of you now. That was the only way you were safe, and even then, Jihoon knew he could break it down if he tried hard enoughâif the beast tried hard enough. âWho put you here?!âÂ
Taken aback when Jihoon mimics your words and the tone of your voice, you stare into his cell, trying to see him better. With limited light making itâs way into the cell, you could only see bits and pieces of him, but it was enough to tell he was naked and filthy. There was dirt and... was that blood? No, you were letting your fear get the better of you.Â
âWhatâs wrong, Jihoon?â Pushing your fingers back through the bars, you sob out the words watching your husband move closer to the door, feeling a chill run down your spine seeing him closer. He didnât look like himself at all. Jihoon was always well put together, but now his hair was matted with dirt and there was a look on his face you didnât recognizeâand his eyes. His eyes were so different. Why did those eyes look so familiar? Those golden eyes?
Sliding his fingers over yours, Jihoonâs eyes take in every bit of you that he can, knowing that he might never see you again. He thinks back to seeing you laying in bed, the blood seeping through the bandages as you whined in your sleep before waking up and asking him things he couldnât answer. âPlease leave me. Do this for me.â
You could hear the sorrow in Jihoonâs voice that it was breaking you in pieces. Why would he want to stay here? This wasnât something he could ask of you. Shaking your head, you start to argue with him when Jihoonâs voice becomes more frantic, his fingers holding yours tightly behind the door.Â
âPlease! Please?! Y/N, canât you do this one thing for me? Let me die down here where I canât hurt you!âÂ
Trying to pull your hand away from Jihoon as you sob, you try to say his name when you feel an arm wrap around your waist and another around your wrist, easing you back from the cell door.Â
âLet go of her, Sire... now.âÂ
Growling from inside the cell makes your blood run cold, but Jihoonâs fingers slide from yours and Wonwoo is able to bring your hand down from the door and to your stomach, where he holds it to you tightly.Â
âItâs time to go back upstairs, Madame.âÂ
Why was Wonwoo always part of things like this? Trying to pull from his grasp, you whine his name, finding his grip too strong as he turns with you in his arms, walking back the way you had come. Behind you, you hear Jihoonâs growling soften into a whimper of your name as you lean your head back against Wonwooâs chest, begging the man to let you go so you can go back for your husband.Â
âI canât. Please walk or Iâll have to carry you.âÂ
âI hate you. You did this, didnât you? Why did you lock him in there?!âÂ
Sighing to the tone of your voice when you scream at him, Wonwoo bends his knees and pulls you into his arms much like he had the night he had saved you from the beast. Even though you push at his chest and struggle to get loose from him, you find yourself unable to grow wearier with each step up towards the light.Â
âBecause he asked me to, Madame.âÂ
19
Over the next few days, you find yourself getting lost in the palace as you attempt to find the staircase to the dungeon again. You had known where it was. You had seen Jihoon and felt his hand on yours, and yet by the time that you had made it upstairs with Wonwoo, it was as if exhaustion had clouded your mind, causing you to become confused and disoriented.Â
You knew better than to ask Wonwoo for his help. He was keeping a closer eye on you, ever looming at every step you took and always directing you in the direction of your parlor or the library for a distraction. He was always reminding you that Jihoon was away on business. He was always lying to you, even though he knew that you knew the truth.Â
It wasnât until the fourth day that you managed to get Soonyoungâs facade to crack. You had watched him wander aimlessly around the palace only to look at you and start to say something before turning in the other direction. Something was on his mind and you knew what it was. He hated the idea of Jihoon in the dungeon as much as you did; he had to. That was his best friend.Â
âStop walking away from me.âÂ
Shaking his head as he continues walking away from you, Soonyoung furrows his brows, feeling his stomach twist with anxiety as you continue to follow with a limp in your step. âIâm not, madame... Iâm justâIâm trying to get something done.âÂ
âStop lying to me, Soonyoung! Stop making me chase you.âÂ
You were out of breath and Soonyoung felt horrible, but it wasnât until he heard you wince in pain and heard the sound of you hitting the floor that he stopped in his tracks, running back towards you. Moving his eyes quickly over your face and down your body, Soonyoung feels the anxiety in him turning to panic as his hand hovers over your leg before he gives in and meets your eyes. âAre you hurt? Do I need to get the doctor? Is it your leg?âÂ
Dropping your act, you let out a slow, calming breath, grabbing Soonyoungâs hand and keeping him close to you. âIâm fine; I donât want a doctor. I want my husband.âÂ
Opening his mouth in awe, Soonyoung is genuinely impressed by your willingness to go so far as to feign reinjuring yourself. You were a strong-willed woman and even more strong-willed since you became queen. Swallowing hard, Soonyoung shakes his head, looking down at the floor in front of you as you tell him what you want. He starts to tell you the same thing everyone else has when you grab his chin and make him meet your eyes.Â
âI justâI want to take him food. Help me get back down there, please? I just want to see him for a few minutes. You can do this much for me.âÂ
Soonyoung knew this was a horrible idea as he walked in front of you, leading you down into the dungeon. Wonwoo would kill him and then blame it on someone else if this went poorly. Everyone had been warned not to let you come back down to the cells and yet here Soonyoung was doing just that and leading you right to Jihoon. âTen minutes, Y/N... Anymore and Wonwoo will come looking for you.âÂ
You watch as Soonyoung looks inside Jihoonâs cell with his brows furrowed before he unlocks the cell door and steps back, letting you pull the door open. What you find is very different from what you had expected. Jihoon had seemed delusional and manic the last time you had seen him; now, while he seemed confused and afraid, he was lucid.Â
Tears instantly fill your eyes at the sight of him as you move into the cell and put the plate of food on the bench. Moving to Jihoon, you throw your arms around his neck, feeling him carefully hold on to your waist. What you donât see are Jihoonâs eyes locked on Soonyoung's, full of confusion and anger, before he buries his face against your neck, enjoying the moment knowing he has to let you go.Â
âWhy are you here, mon ange?âÂ
He really was different. This was your Jihoon now. Shaking your head, you sit beside him and carefully inspect him, lifting your hand to brush your fingers over his cheek, feeling Jihoon lean into your touch. âMiss you so much. WhyâIâI brought you food.â Turning back to the plate, you put it on your lap and watch Jihoonâs smile turn sad as he nods gratefully.Â
âI eat, darling. I donâtâIâm not starving.â He missed you terribly. This was making it worse. He had realized he loved you and now he was keeping himself from you. You were sitting right next to him, teasing him with the possibility of having his wife in his life, and Jihoon couldnât take it. âYou canât be down here. Soonyoung, you needââÂ
âPlease, Jihoon. End this. Come upstairs and back to me? Iâll do anything. Iâm sorry for whatever I didââÂ
âYou didnât do anything, Y/N. I did. Iâyou donât get it.âÂ
You didnât and yet, as always, Jihoon wasnât explaining it. âThen explain it to me. I need my husband. I cannot and will not live my life like this with you living in a cell.âÂ
You had every right to be angry with Jihoon. That was better than blindly trusting him. Looking towards the door, Jihoon sighs. Following his eyes, you see how the door is bent and scratched. That hadnât been there before. It didnât make any sense. How had Jihoon done that to a solid iron door? He seemed so normal and calm now compared to how he had been before. Did you even really want to know the answer to any of the questions you were asking yourself?Â
âOrâjust come home. You seem so much better.âÂ
âI do feel better, for now.â Jihoon wasnât lying. He was a couple days out from shifting at this point and this was when he felt the best he could. He was on top of the world and could accomplish anything, but soon he would be right back where he was. You had visited him right before he shifted last time. You had put yourself in danger once again unnecessarily and that was what terrified Jihoon. You didnât listen. âBut you alwaysâyou didnât stay inside that night, Y/N.âÂ
âIâll stay inside! Forever!â Grabbing Jihoonâs hand, you blink through tears and pull his hand to your lips as you beg him to end this. âI swear it. Please?âÂ
Jihoon feels his chest tightening as you kiss his knuckles and as your tears hit his skin. He knows he should say no and stay where he is. No one, especially you, can be hurt or killed while he is locked away, but then you meet his eyes and plead with him once more and Jihoonâs resolve breaks. âOkay, mon ange.âÂ
20
There was ignorance and then there was blissful ignorance. For a week you had attempted to be blissfully ignorant, enjoying the presence of Jihoon back in the palace. Things had gone back to normal as much as they could, though you couldnât shake the nagging feeling that was growing inside of you.Â
So much about your life in Aetherial Grove didnât make sense. Jihoon didnât make sense and how everyone acted around him didnât make sense. They treated him as if he were made of glass, so fragile that one wrong word and he might break. You were the only person to not treat him this way and many times you found yourself being chastised for doing so and being reminded that the king has a fragile temperament.Â
Even with all of the looming anxiety and building tension in the palace, you had kept your word to Jihoon and stayed inside each and every night for close to two weeks. Not once in those two weeks did he come to your bed or make an effort to be closer to you than he already was and you found yourself growing more and more weary as the days crept by, wondering if this was the life you were resigned to.Â
It wasnât until Jihoon had kissed you gently one evening and whispered his goodnight wishes to you earlier than any other night that week that you found yourself feeling defiant. You had promised not to go outside, but that didnât mean you couldnât wander the palace after dark. You could go to Jihoonâs room and speak to him about how you were feelingâsurely this would be allowed.Â
So that was where you found yourself, standing in front of Jihoonâs open door, finding it empty. He had said he was tired and that he was going to bed not ten minutes ago and yet there was no one to be found. Sighing under your breath, you tug your robe around you tighter and furrow your brows as you start to go back towards your room when you hear the sounds of the heavy front doors shutting. Why would anyone be going outside at this time of the night? You werenât allowed to, so surely no one else was either.Â
Following the sound, you let your hand hover over the door before finally pushing it open and shivering instantly to the cold night air, stepping out into the darkness feeling a pang of guilt in your stomach. You were breaking your promise, but something wasnât right. There was someone at the gates and they were open. Moving towards them, you start to speak when you find yourself horrified and shocked as you watch Soonyoung easing the gate closed as Jihoon falls to the ground just outside of it, his skin ripping as something bursts through the muscle. What was happening? Why wasnât Soonyoung helping him?Â
With your hand on your stomach, you try to run with your leg beginning to burn and Jihoonâs name on your lips when you find yourself collapsing as Jihoonâs body starts to change in front of your eyes. Limbs break and between his screams, he growls like an animal. Fur takes the place of his skin and quickly he becomes something you had seen once before when it had attacked you.Â
Turning back towards the palace, his head bursting with tension and anxiety, Soonyoung stops in his tracks just a few feet from the gate when he sees you sitting on your knees in front of him. Terror takes the place of his anxiety as Soonyoung runs towards you, pulling you to your feet as Jihoon snarls at the gate, pushing against it, seeing you both there. âY/N! You canât be out here! You promised!âÂ
With the wind biting at your face, tears drip off your cheeks and onto your gown as you stare at Jihoonâs golden eyes as he tries to push in the gate, finding it impossible. You push at Soonyoungâs chest as he tries to lift you, your eyes locked on Jihoon, until hands hold either side of your face, making you look at Soonyoung. âWe have to go inside! The gate is strong but if he tries harder, it wonât hold.âÂ
âIs thatâŠ.â You knew the answer to your question and yet it didnât seem real as Soonyoung pulled you to your feet, feeling you collapse only a few feet from the palace doors. "Soonyoung, is that Jihoon?! Did heâMingyu? Me?!âÂ
Shaking his head, Soonyoung wants to tell you no. He wants to make you get up and tell you that itâs all a bad dream but he canât so instead he stays silent and gestures towards the door.Â
âTell me!âÂ
âSoonyoung, go inside. Iâll tell her.âÂ
Lifting your eyes toward the doors as light spreads out along the courtyard, you and Soonyoung stop everything to meet the eyes of Jihoonâs mother, seeing a solemn look on her face. You watch as Soonyoung starts to argue only for her to lift her hand and for her to offer it to you to take.Â
âIâll explain it all.â
21
The ground is hard under Jihoon and yet his body doesnât feel nearly as cold as it usually does when he wakes up early in the mornings. He can hear the birds chirping and the trees shifting with the gentle wind. If it werenât for the rocks under his body and the ache in his muscles, it would almost be peacefulâwelcomed.Â
Jihoon could remember seeing Soonyoung dragging you back to the palace the night before. He hadnât attacked you; thank God for that, but you had lied to him. That would be something he would have to deal with once he got back to the palace, but for the time being, Jihoon lay quietly, feeling the sun heating up the blanket draped over his body.Â
Then it dawns on him that there is a blanket covering him. Not once has he ever woken up to something like this. Soonyoung would often be waiting for him with clothes and sometimes even something warm to eat or drink, but he had never gotten close enough to cover him as he slept. Someone had.Â
Lifting his head, Jihoon searches around him and thatâs when he sees you sitting with your back against a tree, your eyes moving over a book resting on your lap. Why the fuck were you here? Panicked Jihoon takes a sharp breath, sitting up almost too quickly, feeling the blood rushing to his head. There was no reason for you to be out in the forestâno reason for you to be near him like this... unless you knew.Â
Muttering your name under his breath, Jihoon notices the clothes folded next to him and whines, realizing how much you seemed to prepare for this moment. You seemed to have been waiting for a while. Even now hearing him panic behind you, the only sign that you knew he was awake was the way you turned your head further, offering him more privacy.Â
Tugging the pants over his legs, Jihoon looks from you and back down to the ground as he stumbles, trying to hurry as he attempts to walk and dress at the same time. Fear was taking hold of him; it was coursing through his veins like never before and by the time that he was dressed, he found himself falling to his knees in front of you with tears in his eyes and shaking his head.Â
âIâIâm so sorry, mon ange. Iâmââ Swallowing hard as he meets your eyes, Jihoon loses the composure he had, the tears streaming down his cheeks once you close your book. âIâm a monster, Y/N. You donât deserve this shit. Youâfuck⊠I hurt yoââÂ
Jihoon wants to explain it all and make you understand how sorry and dangerous he is but all his words jumble together. None of it seems to matter to you as you lift your hand, resting it against his cheek, your thumb brushing the tears from it as you shush him, shaking your head along with his words.Â
Leaning into your touch, Jihoon lets out a shaky sob, cupping your hand his own and bringing it to his lips to kiss your palm when you donât speak. He was terrified of what you might say, but you say nothing and yet he can feel it all as you simply sit with him in the moment.Â
Hand in hand, you and Jihoon finally make your way back to the palace. You feel his thumb brush the back of your hand as he takes deep breaths to keep himself steadfast, knowing itâs not just your eyes on him anymore. Now you understand him. You understand it all. While it doesnât make any of what had happened to you or any other woman that came to Aetherial Grove right, you still understand it, and itâs not Jihoonâs fault.Â
He didnât choose this curse. He wasnât the person who was at fault and yet he was the one who bore it. You had sat watching him sleep that morning and decided that he wouldnât bear it alone.Â
âIâm just going to get cleaned up, darling, and then we can talk a bit more.âÂ
Standing at the door to Jihoonâs room, you smile at him as he lifts your hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to each one before he starts to turn to leave you. âJihoon.âÂ
You hadnât spoken much to Jihoon since he had woken up and yet that was okay. There was something in your comforting silence that made Jihoon feel at peace. Hearing his name on your lips now was almost a welcomed surprise that had him half concerned and intrigued as Jihoon brushed his fingers over your cheek, humming questioningly as your eyes searched his face.Â
âCan I stay? Let me help you.âÂ
Innocent and his. Parting his lips to let out a soft breath, Jihoon tries to think of how to speak but you donât let him dwell on it. You take his hand in yours and open the door to his room, leading him in on your own.Â
There was always a bath ready for Jihoon by the time he was back from the forest; today wasn't the exception. Stripping off the clothes you had brought him one by one, Jihoon furrows his brows and tries to muffle a pained groan as he feels the tension in his back muscles knowing you arenât too far away.Â
From where you were, you could see Jihoon out of the corner of your eye as you kept your eyes down once again, attempting to give your husband his privacy until he was in the water. You had seen him naked the night he had come to your room and briefly before you covered him with the blanket, but still you felt your cheeks heat up at the thought.Â
Hearing the water break and shift, you take in a deep breath, listening to Jihoonâs sighs of relief before finally lifting your eyes and moving towards him as he watches you. His eyes had been intense before but knowing what you know now, somehow they felt different. You werenât necessarily scared of him and you didnât pity him, but there was something about him that kept you on your toes.Â
Jihoon could see the shy look on your face as you swallowed your breath sitting on the side of the tub, keeping your eyes averted from looking down into the water. He was your husband and still you were so sweet and innocent you were afraid to look. Perhaps that was his faultâno, he knew it was.Â
Sighing softly as he watches you lather your hands with soap, Jihoon anticipates your touch only to feel a shiver run through his body when you finally do touch him. Your hands are gentle and soft, matching how delicate you really are as you work the soap into his skin along the top of his shoulders. âYou donât have to help me with this.â Even though Jihoon speaks, his words saying one thing, he closes his eyes, relishing in the feeling of you, causing you to smile softly.Â
âI want to. Youâre my husband and Iââ Rubbing your lips together, you swallow your words, tilting your head as Jihoon leans his head back, letting your hand slide over his chest, dragging the lather with it. You know what you want to sayâhow you feel about Jihoon, but it terrifies you almost as much as watching him shift or as much as feeling the arousal bubbling in your stomach as you help him bathe. You know you are being selfish.Â
Furrowing his brows hearing you stop talking, your words unspoken, Jihoon opens his eyes and looks up at your pretty face, watching your eyes avoid his in place of looking at your hand as you work. âAnd?âÂ
Trying to smile and distract Jihoon from wanting to know more, you shake your head, reaching for the soap once again before shrugging. You sigh out a breath, trying to keep your attention on the task at hand, feeling yourself shaking slightly as your fingers work close to the waterline, feeling Jihoonâs muscles tense under your touch.Â
âFuckââ Biting his lips, Jihoon sucks in a breath, knowing you arenât trying to seduce him even as you spread the lather over his stomach, your fingers dipping below the water. âBabyââ Leaning his head back, Jihoon reaches for your hand, wrapping his fingers around yours carefully, keeping it in place as he feels his cock twitching under the water, getting harder from just your innocent touch.Â
Itâs only when Jihoon stops you and you watch him take in deep breaths to try to calm himself that you realize your error and your eyes shift to the bathwater. âIâm sorry. DoâI can fix it.âÂ
Scoffing under his breath, Jihoon licks his lips and shakes his head, wondering to himself if youâd even know how to fix it. Would his sweet angelic wife know what to do with his cock all on her own? God, it was horrible for him to want to know, especially after everything that you had been through because of him. âItâs okay, mon ange. Itâll go away in a bit.âÂ
Feeling Jihoonâs fingers pat yours over his stomach, you pout to yourself as he keeps his eyes closed. You know deep down that he is trying to be kind and keep your innocence, but you find yourself offended by it and feel like a challenge is placed in front of you. Humming under your breath, you work your hand free from Jihoonâs feeling his stomach suck in under your touch as he mutters your name when your touch timidly goes lower. Perhaps you didnât have all the practice, but you werenât going to be put in your room and told to lock the door now that you knew what you knew. You were going to know everything.Â
âAhâwait!â Hissing out a breath, Jihoonâs eyes open widely to look between your face and down to the water as you wrap your fingers around his cock and stroke him once, holding him tightly. Holding the tub with one hand, he puts his other around your hand, loosening your grip slightly as you meet his eyes before guiding you. âShitâlike that, okay?âÂ
Adjusting with Jihoonâs help, you nod, your lip caught between your teeth as you feel his cock throb in your hand as you run your hand over it slowly. You can't help but be intrigued by the feeling and enjoying the weight of it in your hand as you feel the arousal pooling between your legs, causing you to whimper out a yes in response to Jihoonâs directions.Â
âFeels good, darling. You are so beautiful. Iâshit⊠You are too pretty to touch me, you know that?â Furrowing his brows, Jihoon groans your name like a prayer, helping you speed up your hand as he lifts his hips, chasing the feeling of his high.Â
This felt completely different from when Jihoon had come to your room. It was more than the fact that it was you touching him; it was that you knew him better. You trusted him more. You loved his man and you wanted to make him feel good. Watching his mouth part in a groan, you furrow your brows and hold back a soft moan of your own when Jihoon falls over the edge.Â
Tightening his grip around yours, Jihoon whines, letting you overstimulate him for a few seconds before he moves both your hand and his from his cock, letting it rest against his thigh. It had been so long since he had experienced something like that with someone else, but the fact that it was youâJihoonâs mind was racing and his cock wasnât fully softening. He had heard your pretty moans as you stroked him through his climax and now he couldnât help but let himself wonder how wet you might be.Â
The silence is almost deafening for a few seconds until Jihoon meets your eyes as he presses his thumb gently into your palm, drawing a small circle, causing your thighs to clench. You knew that you wanted him, but you were scared to ask. Luckily, your eyes said enough and Jihoon didnât want to keep you waiting.Â
Water soaks through your dress as Jihoonâs body presses against yours with your back against his bed. You whine to the feeling of his lips moving along your neck as his fingers impatiently work to undo ties and buttons before you hear and feel the fabric tear at your shoulder. âJihoonââÂ
ââM sorry⊠Fuck, Iâm sorry. Iâll get you more. Iâll buy you a thousand dresses and all the things you want, but I have to get you out of this fucking dress right now.âÂ
You could hear the desperation in Jihoonâs voice as he rutted his hips against your leg over the skirt of your dress, his fingers tearing at ruined sleeves so that his lips had more access to your skin. Leaning up on your elbows, you whine Jihoonâs name, feeling his tongue lap at your skin even as his fingers tug your dress carefully down to your waist, leaving your chest exposed to him.Â
âYou sound so pretty, baby.â He had been afraid to let you speak before when he was in your bed. The beast was listening too closely and he was not only a fool but a coward. Now as he relished in the sounds of your whimpers and moans, Jihoon willed the beast back, determined to enjoy you and every single sound you made for him in his bed. âGod, I love you so fucking much.âÂ
Jihoon hadnât meant to confess to you like that. His head was swimming with adoration for you along with lust as he worshipped your body, leaving kisses along your chest. You were his everything, all that would ever matter. The moment the words leave his mouth, Jihoon hears you suck in a breath and your body trembles under him, drawing his eyes upward. Â
Those had been the words that you had wanted to say to Jihoon earlierâthat you loved him. You were scared to say them. You were afraid that he would never love you and that youâd never been good enough for him and yet he said them to you first. Closing your eyes tightly, you feel the tears rising in your eyes as you try to keep them back but itâs impossible as you shake with a soft sob overwhelmed by sensations and emotions.Â
Moving up the bed, Jihoon shakes his head, cupping your cheek in his palm as he looks down at you concerned as tears run from the corner of your eyes. He worries at first that you are hurt or that heâs upset you, but then he sees your smile and it almost breaks him. âBabyââ
âI love you, Jihoon.âÂ
God, he loved those words on your lips. They scared the shit out of him, but they were like hearing a true angel speak. Jihoon never deemed himself worthy of love. He didnât think that he was worthy of his parentsâ love or that of his friends, but when it came to you, he thought heâd never in his entire life earn those words. Something about those three little words changed Jihoon, but for now he simply kissed your smile and then each of your cheeks wiping the tears from your face. âYouâre my heart, Y/N. I swear I wonât make you regret those words.â
Sighing happily, you run your fingers through Jihoonâs damp hair as his lips begin to once again move along your jaw and down your neck. You felt in your heart that he wasnât lying to you. For the first time, it truly felt like you had your husband in your arms and he was taking his time and making you his.Â
Carefully working the rest of your dress from your body, Jihoon winces, seeing how badly he really ruined the dress before he drops it into the floor as you laugh under your breath at his reaction. âIâm serious, a thousand, ten thousand more dresses just like it.âÂ
You want to say somethingâa smart comeback about how he should get you dresses for the damage done to that one, but any care you have for that dress leaves your head as you watch Jihoonâs fingers run along your thigh, urging you to spread your legs. You find yourself suddenly nervous once again as Jihoon meets your eyes and takes a deep breath when he moves them between your legs, seeing just how wet you are.Â
âIâI donât think I properly apologized for how things happened last time. That isnât how anyone should treat you, but especially not your husband.â Watching you furrow your brows and start to shake your head, Jihoon lifts his free hand to stop you as he massages your inner thigh with his other hand. âItâs not an excuse, and I will never use it as oneâI simply want to explain so that we are cautious in the future. When I am close tâto shifting like I was that evening, I amââÂ
You watch Jihoon struggle with his words, having to take in deep breaths. You wonder if heâs ever explained something like this to someone else before realizing he hasnât, that heâs never let himself get so close to someone. Moving to sit up, you slide closer to Jihoon, letting him rest between your legs as you run your fingers over his face, feeling him lean into your touch. âIâm listening and Iâm not going anywhere, Jihoon. I love you.âÂ
He didnât deserve you. God, how did you exist? Smiling, Jihoon turns towards your palm, kissing it gently before muttering that he loves you too and letting out a breath before continuing. âThe beast makes me angryâaggressive and stupid. It would be wise if we were more careful about things like this if Iâm close to shifting. Does that make sense?âÂ
Meeting Jihoonâs eyes, you run your thumb over his cheekbone as you nod, almost trying to memorize the color of his dark brown eyes as you think back to the golden of the beastâs eyes. âYes, but I trust you. I also donât want you to ever lock yourself away again, Jihoon. We do this together, forever. Do you understand? Donât ever keep this from me again.âÂ
The thought of that terrified Jihoon more than anything. He was so afraid that he might hurt you or worse. You were more important to him than anything else in his life and he had a feeling that the beast knew that. The beast enjoyed taking things from himâor at least thatâs what it felt like. Swallowing hard, Jihoon reluctantly nods, agreeing before leaning to meet your lips in a tender kiss, feeling you smile against it.Â
Humming softly into the kiss, Jihoonâs tongue sliding along yours, you let him ease you back on to the bed, feeling the pillow under your head. Legs tangle with one another as his hand slides along your side, along your hip, and down to your knee before Jihoon pulls it up to his hip so he can nudge his cock between your legs.Â
âAhâŠâ Excitement and arousal wash over you. Leaning your head back, you open your eyes, meeting Jihoonâs, biting your lip, wondering when he is going to finally put himself into you, only for confusion to the place of your excitement as he eases back. âNo⊠wait? Jihoon, I thoughtââÂ
âWe are, baby. You arenât ready. You said Iâm your first.â Speaking between kisses along your jaw and neck, Jihoon lowers his eyes between your legs as he takes a steading breath, preparing himself more than you before he brushes his fingers over your wet folds. âIâd rather die than hurt you again, mon ange. Keep your leg up for me and if anything hurts, tell me.âÂ
Holding tightly to his bicep, you whine Jihoonâs name when you feel his index finger slowly ease into you. The feeling is familiar but unlike last time, there is no pain. This time you find yourself clenching around Jihoonâs finger. âMmmâŠâÂ
Smirking to himself, Jihoon nods to your reaction before carefully pushing his finger in deeper, feeling your hand tighten on his bicep as you moan. He pictures you in your bed making those noises and wonders if youâve put your own small fingers inside yourself like this, knowing theyâd never reach as deep as he can. âGood? How about this?â Curling his finger back towards his palm, Jihoon watches as you arch your back, your mouth falling open with a breath. âBeautiful.âÂ
You wanted more. This was what you had expected and what your cousins had told you that you might expect in the bedroom with a husband. You knew that some marriages werenât blessed with sex lives to be envied; at this moment, you felt like yours was. There was no way that there could be anything better than this. There was no way there was anyone better than Jihoon.Â
âIâm going to add another finger, darling.âÂ
Bracing yourself, brows furrowed, you nod only to moan Jihoonâs name, feeling yourself stretch around his index and middle fingers. It wasnât as if you hadnât touched yourself before. You had made yourself orgasm several times in your life, but never had you felt this good. Never had you felt yourself stretched around fingers like you were now and that only brought you back to what you knew would come next as you felt Jihoonâs cock brush against your thigh. It was much thicker than two of his fingers. How would you ever handle that?Â
âYou are doing so well. So pretty.â Using his thumb, Jihoon draws small circles on your clit, watching you lift your hips as you feel the pressure beginning to build in your stomach. He had watched women cum before; he had even seen you do it once before, but there was something special about this. He was seeing you with clear eyes and you were divine. âYou can let go. Cum for me, baby.âÂ
Your nails dig into Jihoonâs skin and yet he doesnât flinch or seem angry with you as deep red marks appear on his skin when you cum around his fingers. Gasping his name, you push your hips down over his fingers and ride out your orgasm, daring to meet his eyes before throwing your head back with a breathy moan.Â
Kissing the corner of your lips, Jihoon eases his fingers from you, feeling you clenching around them as he does. Despite his cock twitching and leaking on to your leg, he doesnât rush you this time; instead, Jihoon brushes his fingers over your head and whispers softly against your skin as you come down from your orgasm. âYouâre perfect. Love you so much, Y/N... Take your time, baby. Shh⊠Iâm not going anywhere. Have all the time in the world.â
Though you didnât want to wait, you could feel your thighs shaking as you fought to catch your breath. Any fears you had that Jihoon would rush out the door, leaving you alone and wanting were distant, as you felt like you were drowning in him now. Every word and brush of his lips against your skin or lips had not only made you feel like you were able to take your time but also more confident. Finally, once you couldnât stand the growing arousal in you taking back over, you whined Jihoonâs name, feeling his lips pull up into a smile against your cheek as his fingers brushed over your lower stomach.Â
âHm, what is it, baby? Why are you whining for me?â Jihoon knew that you were still his innocent flower, his perfect little angel of a wife and while every bone in his body was begging him to take you and ruin you for anyone elseâhe had to hear you ask for it. Holding your chin between his thumb and forefinger, Jihoon meets your pretty eyes as he feels your leg run along the outside of his thigh, your wet pussy pressing against his thigh, causing a groan to bubble up in his throat that he just barely manages to keep silent as he waits for you to speak. âWhat do you want from your husband?âÂ
The confidence that you had managed to build was waning, but you could see the look in Jihoonâs eyes and you somehow knew that he was going to make you follow through with his words. Glancing downward, you let your bottom lip jut out slightly, causing Jihoon to laugh under his breath as he watches you until you do finally speak. âI wantâJihoon, please? Take me.âÂ
You were being so sweet and soft. Your cute bottom lip sticking out at your pouted, but then you said those words and all amusement left Jihoon just like the breath in his lungs. He wanted to take you. While he never wanted to possess you like the beast did, there was a sense of pride that you were his wife and in his bed. He was lucky enough to have this claim to you and heâd be a fool not to act on it.Â
Groaning under his breath, Jihoon nods before nipping at your jaw and hearing your breath get caught in your throat. The sounds leaving your mouth spur him on and have his hands once again trace the curves of your body, learning very dip and valley as he settles himself back between your legs. âFuckâyouâre⊠God, youâre soââ Shaking his head, unable to think straight, Jihoon practically whines, feeling your soft folds against his cock as he holds himself steady. âPlease tell me you love me again.âÂ
Feeling the head of his cock bump against your clit, you gasp out Jihoonâs name before he grips your ass with his free hand, pulling your hips closer to him and lining himself up with you, waiting for you to do as he asked. It wasnât a command or difficult task; it was asking you to do something as simple as breathing. âI love you, Jihoon, so much.âÂ
Neither of you were really prepared for how you would feel when Jihoonâs cock began to ease into you for the first time. You had never felt such an intense stretch like it in your entire life, and Jihoon was barely hanging on by a thread as he felt you clench down around him like a vice every single inch for what seemed like hours. He wasnât going to rush you, but as he tried to allow you the time to adjust and get used to the feeling of him inside of you, Jihoon felt like he was going to explode.Â
âBabeâbaby⊠You are so tight. You have to try to relax for me, okay? ShhâŠâ Brushing his thumb along your cheek, Jihoon meets your eyes, watching you nod along with his words as you make your best attempt to relax, allowing him to finally breathe when his hips settle against yours. âFuck, there you go. Such a good girl. You okay? You let me know when youâre ready.âÂ
âOkay, oh my god.â You had been right when you wondered how you would fit all of Jihoon inside of you. Even as he lay between your legs and you felt yourself tightening around him, you were having a hard time comprehending it.Â
The pain at first had been overwhelming, but now you were beginning to feel restless even as Jihoonâs fingers caress your skin and draw small invisible shapes along your chest and breasts to distract you. None of it is enough to stop you from wanting more and instinct kicks in, causing you to lift your hips, letting you watch a look of pleasure cross over Jihoonâs face as his eyes close and his lips part with a groan as you use your body like you had your hand earlier. âPlease?âÂ
Anything you wanted. Jihoon would give you the moon and the stars. He would climb to the top of the palace and stand on the roof to pluck them out of the sky and bring them down one by one for you if you asked him to. Doing thisâmaking love to his wifeâJihoon was more than happy to do.Â
Lacing his fingers with yours, Jihoon presses your hand to the bed with the first swallow thrust of his hips, watching your mouth fall open with a choked moan. There was no way he was going to last long, but heâd rather die than cum without feeling you let go around his cock. He had denied himself for so longâhe had denied youâthat this was more than about just fucking you; it was about the pleasure he was determined to give you and to make you remember that he was the only one whoâd ever make you feel this way.Â
âJiâJihoonâŠâ Tears fall over the rims of your eyes as Jihoonâs hips meet yours harder, his head buried in the crook of your neck. You had dreamt of pleasure like this but never thought it would be real until this momentâuntil Lee Jihoon. Digging your nails into his lower back, you press your head back into the pillow, gasping out a moan and arching your back, feeling the familiar pressure building with each of Jihoonâs deep thrusts. âKiss me? Please kiss me, Jihoon.âÂ
The moon and the stars. Tightening his fingers on yours, Jihoon kisses your neck and groans your name before walking his kisses up to your lips, claiming them once again when you ask for something. He could feel himself barreling over the edge, his climax teetering on a precarious edge, but still determined to feel you first, Jihoon shifts his body closer to you, listening to you whine loudly against his lips as he pushes your leg up towards your stomach so he can bury his cock into you hard. âCome on, mon ange. Give it to me...âÂ
Jihoon sounds desperate and breathless against your lips; his thrusts are sharp and irregular as he gets exactly what he wants when you fall apart for him. Gasping for a deep breath, you find it impossible when your orgasm rips through you, causing your thighs to shake around Jihoonâs body. Resting his forehead against yours, Jihoon groans your name, feeling himself unable to hold back cumming hard into your warm pussy as you milk him dry.Â
Both of you are silent beside your breaths for a few moments. Your bodies are tangled and unmoving as cum begins to seep from you and to the bed under you, making you feel sticky. It is Jihoon that moves and speaks first when he kisses your cheek and then your lips, unwilling to separate from you even as his cock softens inside of you, allowing more of his cum to escape. âMy beautiful wife.â
Laughing under your breath, you turn your face from Jihoonâs kisses, feeling your cheeks burning at his attention even as he turns you back towards him, capturing your lips for a longer kiss and letting you sigh into it. You find yourself happy and sad all at once, your bottom lip once again sticking out slightly, making Jihoon lean back to look down at you before finally slipping himself from you and moving to your side, pulling you into his arms.Â
âWhy are you sad? What did I do?âÂ
Quickly shaking your head, you turn on your side, pulling one leg over Jihoon's, enjoying the feeling of his fingers on your skin. âNothing, Iâm notâitâs not sadness, Jihoon. ItâsâIâm not sure what it is. Regret?â Seeing Jihoon furrowing his brows, you pat his chest and sit up slightly, trying to correct yourself. âNo, no, wait. Not like that. Regret that we didnât figure this out sooner. How much of our relationship we have already missed out on because ofâsomething you canât be a fault for.âÂ
Wrapping his fingers around yours, Jihoon brings them to his lips, kissing them and speaking against them slightly muffled even as he sighs into his words. âYouâre the only person who has ever truly made me feel like perhaps the curse isnât my fault. Iâve always felt I earned itââÂ
âJihoonââÂ
âLet me finish, mon ange.â Kissing your fingertips again, Jihoon smiles against them. âI know I was born like this and that the curse was put on my parents. I logically know that. That has never mattered until I met you. Every other woman hasâwell, you know.â Sighing, Jihoon laughs almost in disbelief at his own words as he shakes his head, putting your hand on his chest over his heart. âYou make me feel like perhaps Iâm not even cursed at all. How could I be if I have you?âÂ
Jihoonâs words cause your chest to tighten and for tears to sit on the rims of your eyes as you feel his heart beat steadily in his chest. You canât imagine a life without himâa cursed life or not. âYou arenât, my love. You are just Jihoon. You are just my husband.âÂ
For the first time in Jihoonâs life, he believes those words in his heart and the rumbling is silent as you kiss him, whispering that you love him against his lips.Â
22
Four days of ignorant bliss. It had been a honeymoon phase.Â
Jihoon had spent days and nights in your arms, but now he could feel the hair standing on the back of his neck even as you laid your head in his lap reading your book. He knows he should tell you that he is going to shift, but the shame overwhelms him.Â
Promises had been made about this. He had told you that the two of you would deal with things together, but how could he do that when he looks at your now and sees the scars on your thigh? He can see the way his claws ripped through your perfect skin and left such angry marks? NoâJihoon has to keep you safe.Â
Jihoon waits until you are asleep. His fingers tremble as he brushes your hair from your beautiful face before he lifts you and lays you back in bed and he listens to the angry rumble in the back of his head. The beast is angry with him. Why was it so angry? Why was the beast longing after you? That terrified Jihoon. He had to get away from you.Â
Stumbling out of the room, Jihoon groans under his breath in pain, making his way towards the front of the palace to the doors when someone stands in his way at the doors. Lifting his golden eyes to Wonwoo, Jihoon sighs out a ragged breath and gestures to the door. âOpen it and move, Wonwoo. I donât want to hurt you or anyone else. I couldnât live with myself. Please.âÂ
âNo, sire.âÂ
Confused, Jihoon puts a hand to his stomach, feeling his muscles beginning to tear from the inside out. Letting out a pained groan, Jihoon takes a step forward, trying to get to the door himself, only to feel Wonwooâs hand on his shoulder pushing him back with surprising strength. âFucking move, Wonwoo! You know I donât haveâI donât have time! Why are you doing this to me?!â Â
âWhy did you lie to her?âÂ
Falling towards Wonwoo, Jihoon coughs, tasting blood in his mouth from the muscles shifting internally. Though he is still confused, he pushes past the steward harder, managing to open the door and fall to the ground at the steps and Wonwooâs feet as the man looks down at him. âWhaâwhat the fuck are youââ Lying? He hadnât told you that he was going to shift. Had Wonwoo been spying on the two of you? Furious, Jihoon glares at Wonwoo before letting out a painful growl as his back arches, the bones snapping.Â
âYou lied to her, Jihoon. You had made so much progressâyou were changing.âÂ
Scratching at the marble under his fingers, Jihoon spits the blood from his mouth and turns his head back up to Wonwoo. âWhat the fuck? Are you spying on us?âÂ
âYouâre smarter than that, Jihoon. ThinkââÂ
âJihoon!â You had woken up to the sounds of pained yowling and only one thing had made sense. With tears in your eyes, you run towards the door,, seeing Jihoon lying across the steps in the middle of shifting, fear evident in his eyes as he looks around, shocked and confused.Â
âNoâWonwoo, send herââ Looking for Wonwoo, Jihoon is stunned to not see him standing over him anymore; he only sees you as you rush forward, falling to your knees in front of him This was the worst thing that could happen. He was dangerous during his shift and the beast would kill you; he couldnât trust himself and yet you were looking at him like you always did. You werenât afraid of him; why werenât you afraid? âY/N, please go away! Baby, please!âÂ
Shaking your head, you sob Jihoonâs name, moving closer even as his body breaks and reforms in front of you. You knew that you should be afraid, but you couldnât. You had promised to take care of him and you werenât going to go back on it. âNo! I love you. I wonât leave. Iâm here, Jihoon. I trust you!âÂ
Jihoon cries out in pain, his fingers breaking one by one before claws begin to take their place. He meets your eyes, able to shake his head before everything goes to black and nothing is left but the beast. Blowing out a deep breath into a growl, Jihoon opens his eyes and scratches at the floor under him, feeling the marble cracking until he meets your eyes. You should be terrified. You should be screaming, but you arenât.Â
âIâm here. IâmâJihoon, Iâm not afraid of you and Iâm not leaving. I love you.âÂ
The words seem foreign and impossible, but even as something fights him, telling him that you are lying to him, Jihoon keeps his eyes on you, listening to you tell him that you love him over and over again as you lift your hand, putting it against his face. He could so easily kill you. Tear you limb from limb, but he canât and he wonât. Falling down in front of you, Jihoon lets out a loud breath, resting his large head in your lap, feeling your shaky hands run over the thick fur. Â
At first, Jihoon falling into your lap scares you. You worry for a moment that he might get up and capture you in his large jaws, but after a few moments, you begin to wonder if heâs fallen asleep as you run your fingers over his head, listening to him breathe steadily. Tears drip from your cheeks and down on to the top of Jihoonâs head, soaking into the fur before you manage to lift your free hand, wiping them away, feeling relief wash over you.Â
âYou lulled man and beast, madame.âÂ
Furrowing your brows to hear a voice so close and having not heard any footsteps, you look up surprised to see Wonwoo standing against the doorframe with a slight smirk on his lips. You were used to seeing him in the same suit every day. He was a man of routine and he rarely surprised you, but tonight he looked completely different. He looked almost ethereal in his long black cape and his eyes full of mirth.Â
âWhâI? What? What are you doing out here?âÂ
Undoing his cape, Wonwoo grins at you as you feel the weight in your lap lessen, drawing your eyes down to Jihoon and causing your mouth to fall open in shock. Where the beast had been just moments before now lay your husband, his eyes fluttering as if he were simply dreaming, his body shivering from the cold.Â
âIâve grown weary, madame. Here, allow me.â Leaning to put the cape over Jihoon like a blanket, Wonwoo meets your eyes and you notice the subtle golden color to them before he stands back to his normal height to look up at the night sky. âYouâve done so much in your short time in Aetherial Grove.âÂ
Still confused, you watch Wonwoo closely while trying to keep Jihoon covered, feeling his fingers holding your dressing gown tightly at your thigh as he dreams. âWhat do you mean? WhoâWhatââÂ
Smiling to himself at your half-asked questions, Wonwoo glances towards you and nods. âWho and what indeed. A smart queen for an unselfish king. Quite the pairing.â You watch as Wonwoo lifts his hands and turns towards you and Jihoon, a playful look on his face. âWhen our dear king does wake, tell him that I am grateful for his generosity and that he allowed me to stay for as long as I wanted.âÂ
As if realizing something, you open your mouth, seeing Wonwooâs eyes almost sparkle at your recognition. âYouââÂ
Bowing at his waist, Wonwoo meets your eyes and sighs. âFarewell, madame. Blessings on the king and his queen for many years to come.â Turning to walk away, you hear him laugh under his breath before he whispers just loud enough for you to hear. âPerhaps Iâll visit again one day.âÂ
Stunned and uncertain what to say or do, you watch Wonwoo as he moves towards the golden gates. You wait for him to push them open only to watch as he seems to vanish just before reaching them, just a shimmer of gold dissipating into the air where he once was.Â
In your lap, Jihoon groans under his breath, shifting under the cloak, finally managing to open his eyes, looking up at you. The confusion is clear on his face, but as he blinks, looking around as if expecting something to happen, you can almost see something becoming clear to him.Â
âHow?âÂ
Lifting your hand to your lips and realizing that the curse is truly broken, you canât stop the sob before it leaves you. Jihoon, still confused, looks at the cloak around him before moving closer to you, trying to keep you warmer as you try to speak between sobs, trying to explain what had happened even though you know it doesnât make sense. Â
Though Jihoon doesnât completely understand, he pushes the tears from your cheeks and nods along, letting it sink in. Wonwoo had been in his life for as long as he could remember. His father had never explained where the steward had come from, and Jihoon had never asked. He remembered his father and Wonwoo having a difficult relationship as well as a close friendship, but now as you tried to explain who he really was, it all began to sink in.Â
His father had been a selfish king and in his own way, so had Jihoon. He had thought by keeping everything to himself that he was protecting everyone around himâhe had been protecting you, when in fact he had been hurting you more. It took letting someone in and letting them stay to break the curse. Just like letting Wonwoo stay until he was ready to go.Â
In the end, it all led Jihoon to you and now he would never let you go.Â
His wife. His queen. His heart.Â
READ THE BONUS ON PATREON
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Fatal Trouble (teaser)
pairing; lee jihoon x f!readerÂ
genre; fantasy, heavy angst, mild horror, slow burn, smut (minor dni), toxic, fluffÂ
summary; where others would steal, bargain, or kill to live the life that jihoon had, he knew the truth. a charmed life was often a cursed one.Â
content warnings; prince!jihoon, princess!reader, both the reader and jihoonâs parents are mentioned/in the fic, duke!mingyu, mild love triangle, jealousy, based on the beauty and the beast, beast!jihoon, some ideas have been borrowed from damsel, royalty au, time period not stated but not modern, curses, pregnancy/miscarriage scares, blood, mauling, murder/death, loss of parent(s), arranged marriage, crying, arguing, mental struggles, vivid descriptions of wounds/shifting, poor use of french, especially old french (i apologize). I am sure there are moreâthis is a very heavy fic. if there is anything glaring I missed, message me. (patreon will have additional warnings)
smut warnings; multiple smut scenes, virgin!reader, mild Dom/sub themes, dubcon leaning noncon briefly, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f recieving), handjob, pet names, crying (pleasure and not) â as always Iâm sure Iâm missing something, send me a message if itâs glaring. (patreon will have additional warnings)
w/c; 47k and some change (50k~ with patreon bonus)
once upon a time collab masterlistÂ
fatal trouble - enhypenÂ
a/n; thank you to @nothoughtsjustfic for putting together this collab. this has been a lot of fun and incredibly challenging all at the same time. also a huge thank you to @junkissed for proofreading this beast (pun intended). I know you are incredibly busy and you still managed to carve out a little time for me, I appreciate it more than you know.Â
French word bank: Monseigneur - title for prince, Madame - title female royalty (queen/princess), Madame La Reine - title for queen, Monsieur - title male royalty (duke), Maman - mother, Mon fils - son, Mon amor- my love, Mon ange - my angel
this fic will be released 1/15 to read the full fic with the bonus now subscribe to my patreon and click here
You had always been told that dream weddings were made for princesses. So why was it on your own wedding day that you didnât feel like it was your own wedding? You were in your dress, your flowers in your hand, as you stood next to your father in front of the large church doors, listening to the beautiful music, but it was as if you were watching someone else get married.Â
âReady, honey?âÂ
Had you said yes? You couldnât remember, but it didnât matter. You were putting on a smile and avoiding the eyes of everyone as you walked down the aisle, just attempting not to trip. One, two, three, four, five, sixâby the time you reached the front of the church, you had counted 79 flower petals that had been dropped by one of your youngest cousins. They were very pretty petals. What did petals lining a wedding aisle mean again? Luck? Fertility? Transformation? A bond between families?Â
âMy wife and I.âÂ
Your father was speaking and offering your hand to someone else. You were getting married. Lifting your eyes, you meet Jihoonâs feeling, and your heart starts to beat frantically as it all seems to set in for you. The air settles around you and his hands on yours ground you bringing you back to reality.Â
âYou okay?âÂ
What did he want you to say? You could barely find words to speak so instead you smile and nod, watching him do the same as the priest continues the ceremony. You find yourself transfixed on the man in front of you, every piece of hair in place, his handsome smile, and his beautiful brown eyes.Â
âYes, I do.âÂ
He does? What does heâ-Â
âMadame Y/N Y/L/N of Thornwood, do you take this man, Monseigneur Lee Jihoon, to be your lawfully wedded husband?â
The room had become deathly silent. You could hear a pin drop as they waited for your answer and all you could truly hear was your heart and unsteady breath as Jihoon kept his eyes on you. The words sit on the tip of your tongue until Jihoonâs fingers gently squeeze yours, giving you the confidence you need to continue and gaining a happy whispered cheer from the audience watching.Â
âYeâyes, I do.âÂ
Blowing out a breath, playfully. Jihoon smiles when you finally do speak, feeling the tension release from your fingers. You were nervous and that was making him even more nervous. You seemed like you were in another world until he finally brought you back and now that he had you and the priest was delivering the last of his lines, Jihoon felt like he could either throw up or like his chest could explode from being overwhelmed.Â
âI now pronounce you man and wife. Monseigneur, you may kiss your bride.âÂ
His bride. His. He had never kissed you before, no more than the back of your knuckles but that hadnât meant that he hadnât thought about it or dreamt of it. Swallowing hard, Jihoon nods and takes one hand from yours to cup your jaw gingerly as he leans forward, his lips resting mere centimeters from yours, letting you decide to do the rest.Â
Why had he stopped? Whining under your breath, feeling Jihoonâs breath against your lips, you furrow your brows and close the distance, pressing your lips against his for the first time hearing the audience burst into a loud cheer seeing the first kiss shared by a husband and wife. You had shared a kiss with Mingyu before; it had been small, just his lips brushing against yours before you had pulled away, but this was different. You could feel Jihoon smile against your lips. You could almost taste him before he pulled away, leaving you breathless and stunned at the alter next to him.Â
It shouldnât surprise you or Jihoon that the rest of the reception would be a whirlwind of well wishes and unsolicited advice. You find that once again your only saving grace is the man standing beside you, his hand linked with yours and his thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of your wrist as he carries most of the conversations.Â
âMm, no. We wonât be going anywhere. We have the coronation set for the middle of next week and there is so much to be done here. I will enjoy my bride at home. Iâm hoping to spend as much time with her as possible.âÂ
You find yourself wondering how much of Jihoonâs words are true. Would he spend extra time with you? What would tonight be like? The idea of your wedding night has your stomach in knots and Jihoon tugging you tighter to his side, feeling your fingers closing around his.Â
âIâmm, no, thank you. Weâre fine. Really, we wonât travel often. If Y/N wants to travelââÂ
Why wouldnât Jihoon travel? That had come up time and time again. He was ready to send you back home to visit your parents. You two would be going nowhere after your wedding and now he was offering to let you travel without him? Furrowing your brows, you look up at your husband finally meeting his eyes, making him laugh a bit awkwardly and excuse you both as he grabs two glasses of champagne, leading you towards one of the windows, letting you rest against the sill.Â
âThis is exhausting. Are you alright?âÂ
Gladly accepting the glass, you hum between sips before tilting your head and looking out over the crowd that was luckily getting smaller as the afternoon crept by. âFine. Ready to be alone. This is just overwhelming.âÂ
Nodding into his own glass, Jihoon lets his eyes move around the room before they land on Mingyu, who nods in acknowledgement before looking away. He was ready for everyone to leave as well, ready for them to go back to where they belongedâespecially Kim Mingyu. âItâll be done soon and you can head to bed.âÂ
Pausing mid-drink, you glance up at Jihoon before lowering your glass. "Oh, and should Iââ Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, turning your head away, feeling awkward and uncertain about how to continue without sounding desperate. âShould I expect anyone to join me?âÂ
Jihoon had taken a drink and swallowed half of it when you finally got your words out. He wasnât sure what he had expected, but it wasnât that. He hadnât meant to react the way he had, but being caught off guard and feeling the champagne take a sudden wrong turn, Jihoon finds himself coughing as he tries to calm himself down and avoid your eyes and others as they look at him concerned. âIâm fine⊠Iââ Tilting his head and clearing his throat, Jihoon holds up his hand, keeping others from approaching him or you as he repeats that he doesnât need help. âIâm fine, I promise.âÂ
âWas my question that shocking?âÂ
Jihoon watches your lips quiver slightly, only for you to hide your emotions by taking a sip of the drink in your hand. âNoâI, yes. I wonât lie, yes, but also it shouldnât have been. Y/N, Iâm not meaning to upset you.âÂ
Shaking your head, you clear your throat, feeling your cheeks flair with warmth from embarrassment. You were such a fool for even considering that Jihoon would come to your room or want you like that even if you were his wife. âIâm not upset. Iâm tired. Iâm going to go ahead and call it an evening. Say goodbye to the guests, Jihoon.â Stepping away from him, you meet his eyes, feeling his fingers trail over yours. âAnd get a wonderful nightâs sleep.âÂ
Pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, Jihoon groans in frustration at you and mostly himself as the door closes behind you, leaving him alone with the guests in the dining hall at the wedding reception. He had once again messed up and was left to clean up the mess. It wasnât like he didnât want to see you or be with you, but tonight was going to be a bad night.Â
Some nights Jihoon couldnât tell when he was going to shift, and others like tonight he could feel it from a mile away. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire and the rumbling in his ears had been loud from the moment he had gotten up. He had barely made it through the wedding on sheer will, but now you had left him to the lions, and one in particular looked overly amused.Â
Working his way through the remaining guests, bidding them a goodnight and explaining you had needed to go lay down with a headache, Jihoon felt his own headache growing with every single lie he told. It wasnât until Mingyu had given him one more smirk and sipped at his whiskey that Jihoon cracked. âSomething on your mind, Mingyu?âÂ
âOf course not, Monseigneur. Just awaiting my turn to give my well wishes to the beautiful couple before I retire for the night, butâoh, where is your bride, Monseigneur?âÂ
He was playing with fire and clearly drunk. Laughing under his breath, Jihoon nods and wipes his finger under his nose, moving closer to Mingyu. He could feel a subtle shift in the air, not realizing his eyes had already shifted in color from brown to gold. âWaiting for me in bed, like a good wife. Where she belongs.âÂ
Mingyuâs smile falters not only at Jihoonâs words but also at the change in his tone and the difference in Jihoonâs eye color. âYeah, that so? She didnât seem very happy earlier. So I figured you wouldnât be satisfying her on her wedding night. Or at least thatâs what her face was saying. I know her pretty well, you see.âÂ
Scoffing, Jihoon digs his nails into his palm, taking a step towards Mingyu, who doesnât budge. âDo you know her pretty well? How well? Careful with your next words...âÂ
He had no reason to be afraid of Jihoon, and yet the air around Jihoon was causing Mingyuâs hair to stand on end. He could feel his heart rate starting to rise as he realized that the only people left in the room beside himself and Jihoon were servants. âIâyeah, I knowââÂ
âMonseigneur! Itâs time for a night walk.âÂ
Time had gotten away from Soonyoung during the festivities. He hadnât realized how dark it had gotten until he had seen Jihoon backing the larger man against a wall and he knew that could only mean one thing: Jihoon was shifting. âApologies for taking away the monseigneur, but routines. Have a goodnight, Monsieur.âÂ
Left speechless, Mingyu is only able to take a full breath once Jihoon is ushered away from him and out the doors. âWhat the fuckââ His heart was slowly starting to calm down and the sense of danger seemed to dissipate the longer that he was away from Jihoon. There was something wrong with everything that had just happened. He was twice the size of Jihoon in most ways and yet the man had him almost trembling for a moment and quickly sobering up. Now the prince was going for a night walk? Where? You werenât allowed to go out at night. That was one of the things you had told Mingyu. Now he was even more curious as to why.Â
Guiding Jihoon towards the gates, Soonyoung grimaces, hearing the sounds of flesh starting to rip. This was closer than he wanted to be to a shift. It was dangerous and he had scars that he already bore from Jihoon and close calls.Â
âGet away from me!âÂ
Trembling from the pain and fear of shifting, Jihoon growls out the words, glancing back at Soonyoung as he slams the gates shut in front of him, sealing him out for the night. The painful groaning roar that escapes Jihoon next almost breaks Soonyoungâs heart as he turns on his heels and runs back towards the palace, not seeing Mingyu lingering in the shadows near the gates watching Jihoon stumble and fall as he shifts into the beast.Â
âFuckââ There arenât words to explain what Mingyu feels or the terror for you that runs through him as he watches the bearâs claws dig into the dirt as it runs for the forest snarling. There was no way he was going to let you stay here with that thing. Heâd kill it before heâd let it hurt you. Without much thought, Mingyu heads back towards the palace and to his room to grab his knife before sneaking back out towards the forest in search of Jihoon, determined that only one of them would come back for you in the morning.
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