paxton brady

He thought everyone knew by now. Sonder thought that he would keep it a secret, the Slytherin’s threats made him nervous, but he’d never been very good at secrets. He’d told a lot of people, and even more people knew about her and Clem. Paxton had his own stuff to deal with, he supposed, and the younger boy hadn’t been paying attention. Sonder swallowed thickly and reached out to gently squeeze Paxton’s upper arm. “You know what she, Pax. It’s okay. Evangeline.” He gave the other a tight smile and gave up on stopping himself crawling into Paxton’s lap and wrapping himself up in his long slender arms. “It’s alright, really. I egged her on a little, maybe. Or something. She’s just got a really lovely old cat, and I mentioned the Egyptian goddess Bastet, and she just - actually, I dunno. Anyway, it’s fine! I belong to the most lovely house, I’ve got beautiful friends, and I have the sweetest, kindest boyfriend anyone has ever had! I’m fine Paxton! So stop looking at me like that!”

Paxton let himself be coaxed into place. He was trying to listen to Sonder, because he knew Sonder was trying to calm him down, but-- “I know, I know, s’just, this has got to stop. S’not a matter of whether you ‘egged her on,’ Sonder, it’s jus’ not okay to hurt--” ” He swallowed thickly. This was where Paxton’s thoughts always stumbled, because hadn’t he lashed out at Evangeline on instinct? Hadn’t he hurt her? Paxton knew exactly where the capacity to hurt others came from. It was still somewhere inside of him, never far away, and Paxton was as guilty as Evangeline. He was grateful for the grounding warmth of Sonder on his lap. Now that the hysteria had passed, Paxton was left with a cooling layer of sweat and a chilly castle floor. Paxton squeezed Sonder tightly to him a last time before grasping his shoulders. “You’re right. It’ll be-- fine. It’s fine,” he echoed Sonder, and motioned that they should stand. Paxton needed to walk this off, suddenly. If it wasn’t already evening, and close to curfew, he’d go do the walk by the Whomping Willow he’d habitually done when he’d been blinded. He could still do it in his sleep; it required no focus, and was perfect for meditation. Paxton stood and held a hand out to help Sonder to his feet. “You’ve a boyfriend? S’that... sorry, is that Caldwell? Are you...?”

Go on voting, striking and fighting Go on searching, hiding and laughing I can't change you, I can't even try But let me live like I think I can

“I’m always here for a cuddle, Pax, you know that!” His head fit perfectly in the space of Paxton’s shoulder, and the boys warm breath in his hair felt safe and comforting. He felt bad that he felt so bad. He couldn’t help equating Paxton losing his dad to if he lost his dad. He would be completely devastated, he wasn’t sure he’d ever stop crying. Sonder’s eyes were wet with sympathetic sadness for Paxton. “You don’t ever need to even think about apologising for that, Pax! Loads of people didn’t come, it’s no problem, I know Christmas holidays are busy and… A-and with your dad and everything. Gosh.” He sat up on his elbow, sniffing a little as he traced Paxton’s features with his fingertips. His mum had done it when he was little, and it had always made him feel better. “I have had an eventful semester, it’s been very stressful, but I’m okay Pax! You don’t need to worry.” He spent a long time lining up the hairs in Paxton’s eyebrows. “Is my aura okay now? Does she scare you too, Pax? I thought I wasn’t scared, and then I saw Caldwell with cuts all over his face and I thought she’d hurt him. I think she’s evil. Proper evil.”

His eyes were closed. Sonder’s thumb was stroking the place between his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose, and Paxton was grateful. He was only beginning to feel sleepy, like maybe he might need to get up and find a bed soon, when Sonder mentioned-- “She?” Paxton echoed. He looked up at Sonder. “Wh- what’re you talking about, Sonder?” He took Sonder’s hand from his face and struggled to push himself up onto one elbow so that they could face one another. The floor was cold under his palm. The castle was cold; the common room still growing chilly in the late evenings despite the crackling, merry fire that perpetually burned in the fireplace. “What ‘she?’” He hoped-- Paxton didn’t know what to hope. That the freefalling feeling in his chest was wrong. That he hadn’t somehow caused this. That maybe Sonder would say any other name but the one Paxton was thinking of, because he could still remember the damp forest floor and her voice and here I was thinking I’d have to bring you down now what are we going to do with you?

“Oh, Paxton…” It wasn’t normal to have so many miserable little Hufflepuffs floating about on their clouds of melancholy. Sonder would have spiked all their drinks at the breakfast table if he had any leaves left. The confession made his eyes water instantly, the sad, hollow way that Paxton spoke such awful words broke his heart. “Pax- gosh, I’m so sorry… if I’d known I’d -” He didn’t know what he might have done. Instead, Sonder shuffled around on the floor, until he was laying down next to the younger boy with an arm slung over his waist. “You almost make it sound nice, Pax. Peaceful.” He was upset, that much was clear just by his general presence. He wasn’t himself, and that was the most upsetting thing. Sonder couldn’t imagine losing his dad, they were so close, and Paxton was so young. He hugged the boy closer, feeling his own hot tears sink into the fabric of Paxton’s top. “Did the laughing help at least? I’m not really mad, you looked really happy! You can talk to me about anything you ever want to, okay? You don’t need to go pinching alihotsy leaves off me, I’d give you them!”

Paxton immediately shifted so that Sonder could fit more comfortably against him, trailing his fingernails from Sonder’s elbow to shoulder and back again. The repetitive motion was as soothing for him as it was meant to be for Sonder. “It was. It did. Don’t worry,” Paxton reassured him, and then frowned as something occurred to him. “About me, I mean. I-- this is-- better than the alihotsy leaves. It’s-- I don’t think I’ll need them again, anyway.” He blew out a long breath, trying to sort out which parts of him were himself and which were the effects glumbumble. He found it was easier to do this if he pressed his face into Sonder’s hair. Perhaps, Paxton wondered idly, touch was to glumbumble what sweets were to dementors? It was a tired thought, incomplete; he barely registered it. He didn’t stop to think what it might mean. In the wake of the exhaustion resulting from his rapid mood swings, Paxton found himself fixating on the idea of a cup of tea and a hot bath. The corners of his mouth turned up. “Feels like centaurs have been dancing on my stomach. Look, I know this was, er-- but it helped, and I’m always keen on spending time with you.” He squeezed the older boy’s shoulders in apology. “’Cos I know I’ve been distracted, an’ I missed your party ‘cos I was home. An’ I’m sorry. ‘specially as your aura’s been looking all sorts of ways, lately, actually, and so I think it’s probably been an eventful semester for you. I’ve jus’ been, er--” Paxton made a fluttering motion with his hand that probably meant something along the lines of being Paxton Brady-ish.

what a life I lead when the wind, it breathes what a life I lead in the spring what a life I lead when the sun breaks free as a giant torn from the clouds

“It tastes horrid!” He shook his head, his nose wrinkling as he declined the treacle offer. “Besides, I only ate one leaf! How many did you pinch? I was going to make up a nice potion for Jeremy!” He sighed sadly. It was impossible to be too mad at Paxton, he’d only wanted to try it. Sonder completely understood that, but he missed seeing Jeremy smile too. And now he didn’t have any leaves left. He huffed as he fell back onto his bum and toyed with his house mate’s hair. “You’re a silly, Pax. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you laughing so much anymore?” He always seemed so happy and free, happily making up the rules as he went along, but there was a sadness surrounding Paxton Brady that made Sonder’s heart heavy. “I’d have offered you some potion too if we didn’t bugger it up!”

“Paxton no!” The boy slid onto the ground, his form not unlike that of the purple candle the Hufflepuffs had accidentally created. He stood over Paxton and pulled uselessly on his hands. “I can’t carry you, you’re too big!” He tried to drag him instead, giggling as he did so. Paxton kept setting him off, and besides, the situation was pretty hilarious. Even if he was sure Pax would either die or wet himself soon. Maybe both! “Oh, I’m just going to leave you here for a sec! How many did you have, you silly?! Never mind, never mind…” Sonder skipped to the ingredients cabinet and stood on his tip toes to retrieve the antidote. “Umm… So I don’t know the exact measurements, yeah?” He took some first for himself, dipping a finger into the treacle and tasting it. Was that enough? He grabbed a wooden spoon, dipped it in the thick, honey like substance, and shoved it in Paxton’s mouth. “This might be a bit of an intense come down, but that’s what you get for being a thieving nutter!” He crouched down next to Paxton, hugged his knees, and grinned. “I definitely can’t stay mad at you.”

Tiny plants. Sonder giggled hysterically, leaning forward over the crumbling form of Paxton as the younger boy desperately tried to talk. “You ate too many! You’re a greedy little puffy puff.” He nudged Paxton’s sides knowing it would make him laugh even more. He’d only eaten one leaf, but even if he hadn’t, Paxton’s laugh was infectious. He was such a happy little chap, Sonder wished he could bottle his energy. “Come and we’ll get the antidote! Come on, you have to walk.”

He wasn’t mad at Paxton, he’d known the other wasn’t confident in Potions. Sonder was just happy he had offered to help. The concoction was beyond repair, but it was sort of fun to touch. Warm, waxy, and sort of tingly. His forehead fell into Paxton’s shoulder as the younger boy spoke. “Paxton! You weren’t meant to eat them!” He attempted to scold him, but when Paxton tickled his chin and laughed, Sonder found it rather infectious. He giggled and pressed a kiss to his friend’s cheek. “You’re a nutter.” He sighed affectionately, taking the leaf from between Paxton’s fingers with his teeth. He couldn’t help it. He was already giggling as he chewed.

“Oh no. Paxton! Oh no!” He exclaimed as he jumped on his younger housemate and inspected the potion. “Oh… Gosh… Oh no…” He muttered quietly to himself, his chin rested on Paxton’s shoulder until he gave up and simply stuck his hand in the mix. He pulled out what looked like a melted candle and sighed. “Oh well, never mind. Thanks for trying Pax, I’m bloody hopeless at this!”