paul holden

this one for you robbie 🫡

bob sheldon who has a new car every three months because he “randomly” asks for a new one in hopes of them responding with a “hell no, your car works perfectly fine as is” but instead he gets a yes and has to backtrack with “no i was just joking, i don’t really want a new one i like my car” (every time without fail he still wakes up three days later to his dad jingling the keys to whatever hot new car is out there)

bob sheldon who stays outside a little later each night before going home, hoping to find the time when his parents start to get upset with him

bob sheldon who never finds that time because as long as he comes home alive and well his parents don’t mind

bob sheldon who starts fighting at 10 because coming home with bruises had his parents worried about him. bob sheldon who continues getting in fights because when he comes home bruised it’s the one time is parents look at him disappointedly. bob sheldon who starts picking fights with greasers who have broken bottles and chains and knives and bricks because lately instead of being worried his parents ask how the fight went as if they were interested and no longer minded the fights

5 year old bob sheldon who begged his parents to go on a trip for spring break and they said yes if he got all a’s. bob sheldon who continued to get straight a’s afterwards, 13 year old bob sheldon who previously begged for another trip but he got a C in that one class so no way will they go. bob who’s fairly confused when he’s helping load the car for the trip even after showing them his report card. 18 year old bob sheldon who doesn’t even bother bringing his report card home anymore because it evidently does not matter if he has As or Fs

bob sheldon staying up late talking to his parents when he’s 16 and on a whim he says he’s been thinking about asking cherry to marry him because he knocked her up just to see their reaction. bob sheldon who decides to call it a night when they react with nothing but joy and excitement

bob sheldon who’s drunk every night because when he’s drunk he’s a little less perceptive and when he comes home late and they help him to bed he can pretend they’re fixing to ground him.