PAULA MENESES

I just cried because I realized all the things I’m so blessed to have and am so thankful for. I’m thankful for my beautiful mind, my health, the people around me and how lucky I am to have experienced so many beautiful things and amazing feelings. I’m turning 27 in 3 days and I can’t help but look back on my life and be so grateful.

Life is beautiful and I’m genuinely so happy again. I can feel again and looking back I think I took so much of that for granted. I was numb for so long that I’ve forgotten what it was like to be this open and transparent with my emotions and people around me. I’ve always loved my life, but getting to feel again and welcoming every good and bad emotion feels so freeing. I feel like writing again, exploring every city, getting to know myself and learning new things.

I’m so proud of myself lately. I’ve just been focused on myself and not concerned about other people’s lives or things that don’t bring me happiness. I no longer feed my unhealthy habits and simply just don’t care anymore about the people in the past who have wronged me. I let go of all the anger and hate, I refuse to let it consume me or give it my time, attention or energy. Life is so beautiful and I’m so blessed and incredibly lucky to have the life I have. There is so much happiness in being detached. I have really missed this carefree feeling. I feel like a kid again. I feel free. This is a love letter to myself.

Life has been so hard lately. I feel so alone but I know I’m not. I don’t ask for help because I don’t want my loved ones worried. I feel ungrateful if I complain and in general I get over things quickly and am naturally a happy and positive person but it’s been hard because I think my nervous system is shot from letting myself sit through so much discomfort & disrespect.

I literally just cried because I realized how much of a good person I am and how lucky I am to get to spend the rest of my life with myself and genuinely loving who I am and how I am as a person. 🥹 Then I proceeded to thank whoever god is and all my past selves and past lives for being a good person as well. Am I on crack or is this just self love on a new level? 🤣

love is really the best thing in the universe and I’ve always known it

This post isn’t meant to be sad or suicidal because when I think it I’m in a happy state of mind, but if something were ever to happen to me, all I’d ever want my family to know and find comfort in, is that I was the happiest I could ever be, and although they might not think it, I feel or felt that I’ve accomplished everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more because in my mind I’ve lived such a full and wholesome life because of them.