Hold The Sugar

It might not be from where or whom you think it will, but trust me, it will.

— I'm starting to see things come full circle.

09/15/19

Your friends asked me what ever happened between us and I was left, paralyzed with nothing more to say than, "I don't know."

What I want to know is why it took THEIR words and conversations with them to know just how much I meant to you.

I can't recount the amount of times I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I remember lying on that bed beside you and I could've sworn I heard you mutter into the pillow, "I love you." When I asked you to repeat what you said, you told me to forget it. I can't help wondering where we would've been had you just boldly repeated yourself, because in that exact instant, I loved you too. I just didn't think you loved me as much as I loved you.

As the years went on, I constantly found myself wanting to be there for you, even when it seemed like you didn't want me around anymore. Yeah, I fell in love with someone new, because it just seemed like you weren't interested, but I honestly forgot that looks were deceiving.

I hated the fact that you never said what you wanted to, that you were so stubborn, that you never told me directly whether you wanted me or not. I hated it even more that I was the exact same way, if not worse.

I guess now I'll never know if you actually said those 3 words to me in that bedroom facedown, me lying next to you.

I guess you'll never know how much you meant to me.

— 02:32