Patrick Quotes

"But I follow a ton of quality blogs like pound the round, cheeks universe, niccee asses, and my personal favorite, amateur butts"

"Sean and I find butts on opposite sides of the same coin. He goes on reddit and I go on Tumblr. don't EVER forget that"

Like the anesthesia numbed my peeing muscles so I had to flex from my deepest core to squeeze out even the most pathetic of drops

Currently in the process of killing myself: painting honey on eyes and looking into ant hills

good fucking god i just felt shit in my body get scared

i think my puke is coming out in my pee now

"i think ive evolved past pooping. i now just pass food through my body in really heavy gas form"

"Just imagine it, like "uh oh poop coming out of my armpits""

"what if sometimes we accidentally just secreted our private juices out as like, sweat like on a hot date "whoops, sweating pee, brb""

"abbi you have to make sure i never get fat. please. PLEASE. i cant be bald AND fat. only such a fate is reserved for rob"

"if i don't stop jamming flip'em crackers in my gullet, i'm gonna turn into a second thing with a first thing attached to it type of thing as well maybe like underneath my dick a vagina will emerge and that will be my flipside characteristic"

"my gut is so packed. i can literally feel it ready to snap off from my esophagus and just float towards my bowels and get shat out with all the cheese balls and stir fry from earlier jesus CHRIST"

"if i was george r r milton i would fire EVERYONE [writing the show] and replace them with a staff of those monkeys writing shakespeare"

"god i wanna fuck margaery so bad like god i bet her flowery butt is so huge and smells of roses instead of peasant shit"

"god they butcher loras in the show he doesn't look anything like me"

"sometimes dopplegangers hide in others' skins to avoid death by their originals"