Clear Rain

Independent Blue Exorcist Original Character Penned by Yoko 18+ blog, Minors do NOT follow Rules - Muse - Verses

It's been a little over a month since my grandma passed away.. Honestly, it's hard to keep up with the flow of time lately. Also I didn't realize until last night, thanks to a dear friend, that I've been accidentally isolating myself. Just sort of.. dropped off the face of the earth? I apologize for this and for causing anyone concern over it too. Things still aren't quite.. okay yet. I'm still processing and am finding that random things will make my entire mood drop. But I am trying little by little to grasp onto some form of normalcy. I appreciate the patience, I really do.

"He was lucky I showed up at all.. I have no idea who put me up to something stupid like that and for only twenty-five dollars."

To all who wished me and my family well during these hard times, I can't thank you all enough. It all meant the world to me and still does. Though I make this post to share some rather.. personal and tragic news. My grandmother passed away early this morning in her sleep. I am still processing this, especially the fact that her condition declined so rapidly.. It's going to take quite some time for me to recover from this emotionally and mentally. Though I will still be here, I need the mental escape here more than ever. I just apologize if I come off distracted or distant.. I never lost someone this close and dear to me before.

The sudden bear hug from Dennis did catch Nix off-guard but not to the point where they didn't react. The student couldn't escape getting a hug back! Though it wasn't a bear hug in return since the Nephilim didn't want to accidentally harm him. Dennis was free to squeeze them as much as he wanted, not like it would result in any lasting harm. When he decided to run off, the teacher couldn't help but laugh a little to themselves. "I wonder if he could tell I needed that.."

A little update here since I've sort of.. fallen silent? Things have been rough, mostly mentally and emotionally. My grandma hasn't had another day of clarity since the day she came home and has been going up and down in her temperament too.. I just started Summer Semester in college so I'm juggling that as well. Though I think things are somewhat settling into a routine of sorts? Like we are learning what to do in certain situations instead of panicking and wondering what to do. Doesn't make the reality any less heavy, mind you.. But I am starting to get my muse back since it would help take my mind off things. So I apologize for the spotty activity here.

The last few days have honestly been a blur and I didn't realize this Saturday is my birthday.. Good thing I checked the date since I get to go visit some family on that day.

Nix looked over at the leopard, tilting their head a little as their tail swayed side to side. It was unusual to see a large cat like that to begin with, not to mention the purple eyes it sported. The way it gazed at them had a strong sense of familiarity as well. "Hm.. Well I doubt you're here to cause any harm. Are you hungry? I have plenty of food to share."

Today was the first day Grandma came home to begin hospice.. I know they told me not to get my hopes up when she has moments of clarity but I couldn't help it. Though it hurt to see her decline as time passed and grow aggressive as the sun went down. This was but a trial run, I suppose, of what lies ahead. I just hope I can help her the best I can, even when she has moments where she doesn't want anything to do with me.. Let's just say I can see why the nurses had trouble giving her medicine. She just refuses it for whatever reason comes to mind.

"I do not. I wasn't born in the ocean or anything so I don't feel homesick for it.. Though I do feel dehydrated if I don't submerge myself in water once in a while."

"I don't question that you would do that for me, Fang.. but it is a constant worry of mine, you know this. I caused quite a lot of trouble the last time it happened. All we can hope is that she won't show up and this was a one-off scare tactic."